The Only Volunteer
by Ally-Marty
Summary: What if Wyldon had allowed Joren, and not Neal, to be Kel's sponsor? This Alternate Universe story is a complete, 71-chapter rewrite of the PotS series. Some of the chapters are very long. Rated T for safety. Reviews are still appreciated! **COMPLETE**
1. A Sponsor for Kel

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world.**

**A/N: Alright, alright, Kel/Joren just won't let me go. I didn't think I'd like this pairing so much, but I do. This may have been done before, but here's **_**my**_** version of 'what if Joren had been Kel's sponsor?' Let me know what you think. Enjoy! :D**

**

* * *

**

**A Sponsor for Kel**

**_

* * *

_**

_The blond youth at Wyldon's side raised a hand. "May I, my lord?" he asked._

_Lord Wyldon stared at him. "You, Joren of Stone Mountain?"_

_The youth bowed. "I would be pleased to teach the girl all she needs to know of life in the pages' wing."_

_Kel eyed him, suspicious. From the way a few older pages giggled, she suspected Joren might plan to chase her away, not show her around. She looked at the training master, expecting him to agree with the blond page._

_Instead, Lord Wyldon frowned. "I had hoped for another sponsor," he commented stiffly. "You should employ your spare hours in the improvement of your classwork and your riding skills."_

_... "I believe I can perfect my studies and sponsor the girl," Joren said respectfully. "And since I am the only volunteer --"_

_--Tamora Pierce, __First Test_

* * *

Kel felt so embarrassed. All of the other new pages' sponsors seemed eager to step forward and volunteer their time to help. She knew that being 'The Girl" would be difficult, but she had never felt so unwanted. Sure, this impossibly beautiful, blond-haired, blue-eyed boy had volunteered, but Kel didn't think he really meant it. Another page, an older-looking boy with brown hair and mischevious green eyes, had grudgingly offered to be her sponsor, but he did it in such a way that it started a verbal sparring match with Lord Wyldon. Finally the training master gave the tall, green-eyed page a lot of detention and disciplinary duties for his insolence, and then he snapped that Joren could be her sponsor after all. He did not want or need for the other page, Nealan of Queenscove, to 'infect' any of the new pages with his bad manners. Then, he led them all to the dining hall.

"Walk behind me, wench," Joren whispered into Kel's ear through clenched teeth, and he thought, _"The first thing I'm going to teach you is your proper place."_

Kel turned to look into her new sponsor's sky-blue eyes. Joren's face was perfectly angelic and his smile _looked_ innocent, but Kel heard the venom in his voice. When she didn't move, he quickly pinched her on the soft underside of her upper arm and made it look like he was straightening her sleeve instead. Only Kel's strict Yamani training prevented her from yelping in pain. She made her face calm and told herself to become like stone. The rest of the group swiftly moved along after the training master. Only the page Nealan glanced back at Kel and Joren as they stood there in the hallway.

"My name is Keladry," she said without emotion. _"I knew it! You don't want to help me at all, do you?"_

"I really don't care what you call yourself," Joren whispered again, "Vinson is right - you look like a lump, so that's your new name. Welcome to the palace, _Lump_." And he smiled his deceptively innocent smile again. _"I'm going to wipe that look off your face!"_

Anyone looking in their direction would see a nice-looking young page speaking pleasantly with a plain-looking girl in a rumpled dress who was only a few inches shorter than him. Now that they were alone, Joren stopped whispering, but he still spoke through clenched teeth.

"Everyone knows that girls belong at the_ convent_, not the palace," he stated. "You've made a big mistake, Lump, but I believe I can show you the error of your ways. Then you can be on your way - back to the convent school, where you belong." _"Gods, she's annoying - she shouldn't be here at all."_

"The law says that I can train here and earn my shield just like you can," replied Kel, unmoved. "I'm going to prove that girls can become knights, too." _"Lord Wyldon made a mistake in placing me with you, but I won't let you drive me off."_

Joren walked around Kel and pushed her forward forcefully. "We don't have time for this, Lump. We'd better hurry or we'll be late - and I'm not taking any punishment because of you. Next time, you _will_ walk when I say walk, and you _will_ do as I say, or else I'll let Lord Wyldon know that you're really quite disagreeable. I'm sure he already knows that, but he's being forced to accept you here for now. " _"Come on, move it!"_

Kel stumbled forward and began to walk stiffly in the direction of the dining hall. When they came to an intersection of the hallways, Joren told her that the stairwell to their left was a shortcut to their classrooms. Kel took note of that information so she could use it later. It seemed to her that the 'pretty boy' would have to help her with some things for a while, even though he had just admitted to her that he was trying to drive her out. She knew that this Joren character liked to look good in front of certain people and that he was very good at it. Kel might not know much, but she knew she could not complain to Lord Wyldon - or anyone else - about her sponsor. She would just have to figure out a way to survive here in spite of his efforts.

**

* * *

**

A/N: Well, it's a start. Should I continue? Does _**anyone**_** want another story like this one? Let me know. Thanks! Ally-Marty :D**


	2. Mealtime With Joren

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you don't recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Thanks for all your reviews and your support! A lot of the material in this chapter would have been included in the first chapter, but I had to rework some things first. Enjoy! :D**

**A/N #2: I made some minor changes to the flashback section on 2008/12/07. When I checked my books, I realized that Ansil of Groten was much older, so I substituted in Voelden of Tirrsmont as the squire who slapped Joren. I just wanted to pull in some characters with whom Joren has been acquainted for a long time. ;D**

* * *

**Mealtime with Joren**

Joren of Stone Mountain mentally kicked himself. _What _was he thinking? Lord Wyldon was correct - he didn't have the time to sponsor anyone, let alone 'The Girl.' He certainly planned to drive her out as soon as possible - preferably within the week. Then he could get back to trying to improve his academic marks. Joren's strengths were not in the classroom - reading was difficult for him because it seemed that his mind always switched around the order of the letters when he tried to read or write them. He had barely scraped by in mathematics the previous years, in part due to a similar switching around problem with numbers. His father berated him mercilessly over the summer and hired special tutors to help him understand his lessons. Also, despite several years of private lessons, Joren's horsemanship was still sloppy. The beasts just didn't like him and they wouldn't perform for him. Tilting was an absolute chore.

In fact, Joren only excelled in the art of dismounted combat. Lord Wyldon had informed Joren's father that he was the best young swordsman the training master had ever seen. Very rarely did any of his fellow pages beat him in the practice yard. Joren loved the feel of a sword in his hand and he was equally talented with pole-arms and battle axes. Unfortunately, as his teachers told him time and again, being handy with a sword or staff was not good enough. A well-trained knight must be able to write logical reports and accurately calculate the numbers for the supplies he needed. Likewise, so his father told him, the lord of a fief had to be competent enough to check the work of his stewards and other hired workmen. Joren thought about all these things as he pushed the resisting girl page - 'The Lump' he now called her - toward the dining hall door. He definitely didn't have time for _her_.

Once they reached the dining hall, Joren led the way through the serving line and saw that The Lump was smart enough to copy what he did without him having to tell her what to do. He scanned the room until he found his friends Zahir ibn Alhaz, Garvey of Runnerspring and Vinson of Genlith. All of them were fellow third-year pages and Joren had known Vinson since they were little boys. Vinson's uncle, Sir Ebroin, was the steward of all Stone Mountain holdings in Corus. Zahir also was sponsoring one of the new pages, Quinden of Marti's Hill and they were in a discussion when Joren sat down next to his Bazhir friend. Joren indicated to Kel that she was to sit at the end of the table next to Quinden - who promptly scooted as far away from her as he could. Once the other boys at the surrounding tables noticed that there was a girl in their midst, everything got real quiet. Joren made a face at them and they resumed speaking in low whispers.

"Do you see that?" "Hey, isn't that The Girl?" "_Joren's_ her sponsor? No way - he hates girls!" "He's never sponsored anyone before." "Look at them - _he'd_ make a prettier girl than her." "Shh, don't let him hear you say that." "What? It's true!"

Joren's hands became fists in his lap. He had heard every remark and he was certain that The Lump had heard them, too. He scanned the room to see if he could identify whoever had made the last few comments, but most of the boys were either looking away or looking down self-consciously. Joren became even angrier at the thought that there probably were two rosy patches of color on his own cheeks. The Lump was looking at her tray without any expression on her face, but he could tell that she was blushing, too.

* * *

**_Flashback to Joren's first day as a page, two years prior._**

Perrin of Knightsbridge reluctantly volunteered to be Joren of Stone Mountain's sponsor. He had wanted to sponsor the young crown prince, but Lord Wyldon assigned Prince Roald to one of the royal page's distant cousins. Perrin knew that Joren's family was very influential at court and around the realm, so that was a bit of a consolation to him. As Perrin took a good look at his new charge, he felt a twinge of mischief toward the boy. He knew a certain squire who should have a better look at the blond-haired, blue-eyed page and he knew it just might benefit him, also.

"Well, well, well," drawled Voelden of Tirrsmont, a second-year squire whose knight master, Ansil of Groten, was staying the palace for a while, as Perrin guided the younger Joren over to a table on the squires' side of the dining hall. "When did we start admitting _girls _here, Perrin?"

Joren lunged at the young squire, but Perrin held him back. Soup sloshed over the edge of his tray and splashed onto Voelden's sleeve, but the brown-haired, brown-eyed squire just laughed and picked up Joren's roll off of his tray, tore it in half and sopped up the spilled soup with it. He kept his small, cruel eyes fixed on the small, blond boy the entire time he ate the roll.

"Who is this pretty little thing, Perrin?" Voelden asked the gangly page with unruly reddish-brown hair. "Why have you brought him all the way over here? Is he ... _important_?"

Perrin tightened his grip on the hot-headed new boy to keep him from charging at the much larger Voelden. An evil-looking grin spread across the older page's face and he thought about how this promised to be very entertaining. Voelden saw the hateful expression on the new page's face and then he looked at Perrin and waited to hear the full story.

"This new boy is Page Joren ... Joren of _Stone Mountain_." Perrin stated and watched the young squire's face turn an interesting shade of red. "Yes, Lady _Anniseth's_ younger brother."

Now Joren understood what was going on. He clenched his teeth and prepared himself for the abuse that was certain to come. His older half-sister, Anniseth, was a notorious court flirt. Even though he was only ten years old, Joren knew how men, young or old, usually behaved after his sister was finished with them. Anniseth had stomped on the hearts of many suitors since their father had presented her to the court. The large squire in front of him must be one of her dismissed conquests. Joren knew of no less than eighteen duels or jousts that men had fought over her in the past year alone. This would not be pleasant.

"Ah ... _Anniseth's_ _brother_," Voelden echoed his friend and gazed at Joren's face. "Yes, I can see the family resemblance: blond hair, blue eyes, smooth skin ... cool demeanor ... and the perfect ... _sneering _lips." As he talked, Voelden had placed his palm on Joren's cheek which made him feel very uncomfortable. Suddenly, the squire drew back his hand and slapped the boy. "There, you can give her that message from me the next time you see her."

Perrin laughed and pulled Joren back over to the pages' side of the dining hall. Joren kept glancing back and glaring at Voelden. The squire finally smiled and began to laugh. Then he got up and left the dining hall. Joren would have many other encounters with the tall squire, and they would eventually become friends of a sort. But at that moment, Joren only wished he could throttle his sister for all the trouble she caused.

Anniseth's mother died when she was a young girl. Their father, Lord Burchard, had been a widower for only two months when he married Joren's mother, Lady Virryn, who gave birth to Joren a scant six months after that. Anniseth despised Joren, because she always thought that her father's affair with Joren's mother had broken her own mother's heart and killed her. The girl had grown up with bitterness in her own heart and she became a beautiful young lady on the outside, but a cold and calculating woman on the inside.

Joren's half-sister did all kinds of things to hurt him when he was very young. She would pinch him and slap him for any reason she could think of, especially when his nursemaid, Molly, wasn't there to protect him. Joren only got some relief when the girl went away to the convent school, where she became an expert at the art of beautiful cruelty. Anniseth knew she could turn heads with her wavy, honey blond hair and blue-green eyes, but Joren had shiny, white-blond hair, sky-blue eyes and rosy cheeks which caused some people to say that he was more beautiful than his sister. Remarks like this embarrassed Joren and infuriated Anniseth. Now he knew he was going to suffer for his sister's romantic antics, and he hadn't even completed his first day at the palace. Joren hated his half-sister and everything she represented. Joren hated girls - period.

_**End of Flashback **_

* * *

Joren decided to ignore the dining hall comments - he had developed somewhat of a thicker skin since his younger page days, but he still despised his sister - and most other girls. He narrowed his eyes and told The Lump to stand up when the training master was ready to pray. After Lord Wyldon recited the prayer over their meal - a prayer which Joren smirked about because of certain remarks he was sure were directed at The Girl - they all sat back down to eat. The first thing that Zahir and Joren did was to snatch the warm, crusty rolls from both Kel's and Quinden's trays.

"Hey! That's my roll!" The blond Quinden protested as the regal-looking Bazhir bit into the roll hungrily and laughed.

Joren slowly crunched into the roll he had taken from Kel's tray and watched her hazel eyes narrow just a bit when he dipped it into her soup.

"Mmm ... the palace bakers make the best rolls." Joren smiled coldly as he spoke to both Kel and Quinden and waved the half-eaten bread in front of their noses. "Someday, if you're good little pages, you may get to taste one."

"Rule number one: we, your sponsors - who have taken on the dubious _honor_ of showing you around the palace and helping you settle in - get first pick of everything on your food tray." Zahir pronounced as he took the dessert from Quinden's tray. The new page scowled murderously at him.

Joren continued, "It's only fair - since we will have to take time out of our own busy schedules to help you." Then he picked up Kel's dessert, bit into it and closed his eyes as if in pure ecstasy. "Wonderful ... this is _so_ good!"

Zahir chimed in again, "Rule number two, which is actually more important than the first rule, is this: You will do as we say - without arguing." he looked at Quinden. "If I tell you to fetch my riding gloves, you will fetch my riding gloves." Then he turned to Kel. "If I tell you to carry my books, you will carry my books."

"You're making this up!" protested Quinden. "My brothers told me ..."

"Shut it!" Joren ordered. "Your brothers aren't here to help you. _We _are your brothers now - in a manner of speaking. And you will discover that life here will be much easier for you if you simply obey our orders. Lord Wyldon will ask us if we think you're fit for training. You _do_ want a good report, don't you?"

Kel simply stared at Joren and kept her face completely blank. Her brothers had warned her that there were bullies who enjoyed the custom of hazing the new pages quite a bit. She knew there would be extra errands and silly requirements from the older pages, but she had not realized that this poor treatment extended to mealtimes. Kel really had been looking forward to eating the delicious-smelling food, but she wasn't sure what to do now that Joren had had his hands all over it. Her stomach won the internal battle and she quickly speared a chunk of ham and put it in her mouth.

Vinson managed to laugh and sneer at the same time. "It looks like the Lump is hungry after all, Joren. You'd better make sure she doesn't try to eat your fingers."

"That was pretty bold, there, Lump," Joren chided. "What if I had wanted that piece of ham? Hmm?" Joren's face became hard and he spoke through clenched teeth. "Life for you is going to be hard enough without you getting further on my bad side, so you'd better watch yourself."

Kel could see that the blond, impish-looking Quinden was red with fury and that he was about to do or say something that would only get him, and possibly her, into trouble with their sponsors. She put her hand on his arm in a gesture of warning to her year mate, but he shook it off as if her touch had burned him. Quinden didn't want to heed The Girl - he had a feeling that his sponsor was being extra hard on him because _she_ was sitting with them. Kel had a sinking feeling as Quinden opened his mouth to speak.

"Now see here," Quinden sounded indignant. "I don't mind carrying books or running frivolous errands, but this ... this ..."

Quinden didn't finish his tirade because Vinson slapped the back of the blond boy's head with the palm of his hand. At the same time, Zahir kicked the boy in his shins under the table. The new page was smart enough to know that it was time for him to be quiet now. Zahir started to take other bits of food off of Quinden's tray and distribute them to the other older pages. All that remained was the soup. Zahir nodded to the boy to eat what little lunch he still had, and the glum-faced Quinden complied. Kel finished what remained of her lunch in silence, too.

"You need to learn from The Girl, Quinden," snorted Joren as he finished off Kel's roll. "See how nice and quiet she's become? That's the way you need to be from now on."

"Yes, but perhaps we'll get her a veil anyway," added Zahir, with a snicker. "So we won't have to look at her stony face."

All the older boys laughed, but Quinden just glared at Kel. She knew she was blushing with shame and embarrassment, but she kept her face perfectly calm. Part of her wanted to say something witty in return, or even protest the theft of her food the way Quinden had done, but she knew that the moment had passed. The only thing she could do now was to hope that the afternoon would not get any worse.

After lunch, Salma the housekeeper gave Kel a new set of keys with which to lock her room. Unknown boys had ransacked the girl page's room and belongings as soon as her room became available. Kel wondered if her sponsor and his friends had been responsible for the damage, but she knew it would do her no good to brood over it. When she placed the keys in her pocket and turned to catch up with Joren and his crowd, she noticed the tall, older-looking page, Nealan, watching her. She gave him a small, shy smile and hurried down the hallway.

* * *

**A/N: Please R & R! Thanks! :D**


	3. Not So Fast

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world.**

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. Thanks for all your reviews and your support! Enjoy! :D**

_

* * *

_

Emotion is weakness, Kel told herself, quoting her Yamani teachers. I must be as serene as a lake on a calm day. It was hard to control her feelings when so much was at stake and she was so far from home.

_But control her feelings she would. If anyone here thought to run her off, they would find she was tougher than they expected. She was here to stay._

_... She imagined a lake, its surface as smooth as glass. This is my heart, she thought. This is what I will strive to be._

_Tamora Pierce, __First Test_

**

* * *

**

Not So Fast

Joren figured that it would take him a week - two weeks at the most - to chase away the Lump. Part of his plan to get rid of the girl included isolating her and making sure that her own year mates despised her. He knew that if she became the 'scapegoat' for anything bad or unfair that happened to the new pages, no one would want to help her in any way. Then he could report to Wyldon that the girl was the cause of too much discord within her class. Joren was certain that the training master would appreciate his efforts to keep the realm's future knights a solid, honorable group of men only.

* * *

After their first supper at the palace, Zahir and Joren and their friends escorted the new pages back to their assigned rooms.

"You two will meet us in the mess hall in the morning," said Zahir and he turned to walk with Vinson and Garvey down the hallway toward their own rooms.

Joren followed his friends and said over his shoulder, "You'd be wise to fill your trays. Remember ... your food is _our_ food until we decide otherwise." The older boys laughed as they sauntered away.

The next day, after the morning meal, Joren was pleased to notice that Quinden kept giving the blank-faced girl hateful looks. In a quiet form of protest, Kel had decided to have only oatmeal and some slices of fruit and bread for her breakfast. Joren immediately took away her rolls and growled at her insolence. She clearly had disobeyed the older page's warning for her to load up her tray with food. Quinden had piled his tray with some of everything that was offered in the serving line, but it did him no good. Every time Kel took a bite of food, Joren urged his friends to eat something else from Quinden's tray. By the end of breakfast, the new boy had eaten only his oatmeal and one thin piece of bacon. The older pages laughed so hard they could barely wait for the midday meal.

After breakfast, Joren and Zahir took their new charges on a fast-paced tour of the palace and its grounds. It was important that all new pages learn the layout of the royal palace as soon as possible, because noblemen and ladies of the court could ask any page to deliver messages or run small errands for them. Also, visitors to the palace often asked pages where the places of interest were located, and so the new pages needed to know how to give the people good directions. Quinden had been to the palace with his parents a few times before, so he was quite bored with the tour. This was Kel's first time staying at the palace and she was fascinated by everything that she saw. She was very interested in the indoor practice courts and the pages' armory, as well as the royal menagerie and the portrait gallery. Kel really wanted to spend more time looking at all of the paintings of the past kings and queens, especially the most famous ones, but Joren hurried her along.

"You can stare at the pretty pictures later," Joren told her flatly. "Actually ... I _recommend_ that you return here ... and take a good look at all of our previous queens' portraits, Lump. They were _true _women who knew their place. Queen Thayet is definitely a beauty and all, but my father says she's ruining the realm with her notions of educating the commoners and teaching women to fight like the men."

Then Joren leaned in close to Kel's ear and hissed, "It's too bad you won't be here long enough to spend lots of time in this gallery. You _clearly_ need all the inspiration you can get when it comes to your clothing - that dress you wore last night was completely hideous."

Kel forced herself to ignore her Joren's hurtful comments and made her face Yamani-calm. She would not give her sponsor the satisfaction of knowing that his words had caused her any pain. She was trying very hard to be patient and learn as much as she could from the too-fast tour. Perhaps she could ask someone else to help her find her way around the palace, because she suspected that Joren and Zahir were making detours and backtracking all over the place in an effort to confuse her and Quinden. Kel almost lost her patience when the pages walked outside through a few of the palace gardens - she could smell the world-famous roses, but they had yet to pass through that part of the garden. She kept looking around to see if there was a separate pathway or some sign that would tell her how to get to the rose garden. Joren continued to push Kel along and he told her not to be so slow.

"The only reason _you're_ getting to see anything at all is that Quinden needs to know how to get to a few places of interest around here." Joren sneered. "Now stop dragging your feet! Zahir and I want you two to get your uniforms before the midday meal. We older pages have this afternoon free once we've finished our duties as sponsors. We do _not_ plan on babysitting you the rest of the day."

Kel finally spoke up with a quiet but firm tone in her voice. "Not so fast! We've barely learned where anything is because of the way you've rushed us around this morning. We're totally lost right now." She ignored the murderous glare Quinden was giving her. "Why don't you just show us ... the rose garden ... so we'll at least know how to find _one_ place of interest?"

"Listen up, Lump," Joren grabbed Kel by the shoulders and shook her hard, "You can wander around all you like _after_ the rest of us go into town. Besides, you'll get to spend as much time in the rose garden as you like when you come back to be presented at court someday. I'm sure the priestesses of the Goddess will encourage all you convent girls to snag your future husbands out there among the rose bushes. For now, we're finished outside and we're going to get your uniforms. You, Lump, should thank me for making sure you'll have something _nice_ to wear - even if it's neither decent nor appropriate for a girl to wear a tunic and breeches."

Kel knew she had turned very red when the other boys snickered at Joren's comments. "_I am stone,_" she thought. "_I am a calm lake. I will not let this boy get to me._"

She shrugged out of Joren's hold and stared at him with her blank face. "Fine. I also suppose I should thank you for this _grand_ tour, so ... thank you."

"You're most welcome. It's been so much fun." Joren drawled sarcastically. "Now come along - we might just make it to the tailors in time." And he pushed her out of his way as he turned and began to walk down the path that led back to the palace.

Kel sighed, looked at Quinden and shrugged, but the boy continued to glare at her and hissed, "Don't you _ever_ insinuate that I'm lost! I've been here before, remember? That tour was a complete waste of my time. Mithros! This is entirely _your _fault - they wouldn't be so mean to me if you weren't here!"

"Yes, they would," Kel whispered tiredly, "My brothers told me that there are always bullies. If it wasn't our sponsors, it would be someone else."

"Well, _my_ brothers told me that my sponsor is supposed to take good care of me, but since my sponsor is friends with _your_ sponsor, they're being mean to both of us together," Quinden quietly complained. "Just wait 'til they find out I'm being tormented along with _the Girl_. How humiliating! Why don't you do everyone - especially me - a favor and just leave now."

"I belong here, just like you do," Kel whispered firmly, "I'm not leaving and nobody - not them and not you - can make me leave, so you'll just have to get used to my presence. I'll figure out my own way around this place. You're welcome to join me later ..."

"Stay away from me!" hissed Quinden. "I'm going to figure out how not to get tainted by you anymore than I already have." And he hurried to catch up with Zahir who was several paces ahead of Joren.

Joren smiled. He had heard the entire whispered conversation behind him. So far, so good - his plan to be rid of the Lump was coming along nicely. "_You see, Lump,_" Joren thought as they walked along, "_There is no way for you to win. It will be much better for everyone once you're gone, but every day that you are here, we'll just keep discovering new ways to help your year mates hate you._"

* * *

The midday meal went as horribly as Kel had expected. She and Quinden had been the last pages to get their uniforms and other equipment and the tailors scolded Joren and Zahir for bringing them by so late in the morning. They barely had time to stash everything in their rooms before it was time to be in the mess hall. The older pages were in a nasty mood, so the food hazing continued. Once again, neither Kel nor Quinden got to consume very much of the food they had put on their trays. Kel sighed with relief as she watched the older pages leave the mess hall, bound for their last afternoon of freedom in the city.

She also watched Quinden storm out of the mess hall after she asked him if he wanted to go exploring with her. He reminded Kel that he did not care to spend any more time with her than was forced upon him by their sponsors. Feeling a bit dejected, she decided she would just have to look around the palace on her own. She got up from the table, checked to make sure no one was watching her and pocketed a few half-eaten scraps of bread to feed to the sparrows that lived in the courtyard outside of her window. Kel did not notice the tall page follow her when she left the mess hall.

"Not so fast," warned a voice behind Kel as she reached for the handrail to the stairwell Joren had pointed out to her the previous day. "I wouldn't go that way if I were you."

Kel turned around and saw Nealan of Queenscove leaning against the wall in the hallway shaking his head. She was a bit surprised - and annoyed - by his sudden appearance. What was he doing here? Was he following her? And if so, why? Was he like Joren - seemingly nice on the outside, but really spiteful on the inside? Making her face Yamani-calm, she took a deep breath and made direct eye contact with the strange, older page.

"You are not me," replied Kel, keeping her voice steady. "And you do not know where I'm going."

Neal crossed his arms over his chest, smiled a half-crooked smile and his emerald eyes sparkled with mischief. "I'll bet someone told you those stairs are a shortcut to the classrooms or some such nonsense."

Kel blinked and did not answer him. However, she did move away from the stairs.

"Ah, I see I'm correct," he answered for her. "It's a common prank. You would have ended up in the lower levels of the palace. Every year, some poor new page gets hopelessly lost down there. This year, it would have been _you_ and no one would have known where you disappeared to for a long time. By the time you found your way back to civilization, the training master would have assigned you many, many weeks of detention and you wouldn't get to see Corus until the summer break. You may thank me now for saving you from a fate worse than death. Come on - if you want, I'll show you some safer places to visit before I have to report for _my_ detention."

Kel was still wary and asked, "You're Nealan of Queenscove, right? You got in a lot of trouble with Lord Wyldon yesterday. Will _you_ get to see Corus before summer?"

"Please call me Neal," he chuckled as he combed his fingers through his short brown hair. "The only person who calls me Nealan is my least favorite aunt - and, well, sometimes my father when he's annoyed with me."

"Are you mad at me, too?" Kel asked, remembering the scorn with which Quinden spoke to her at lunch. "I noticed you staring at me in the hallway yesterday."

"I'm not mad at you - Keladry, is it?" said Neal. "I've lived here in Corus most of my life, so a little bit of detention isn't going to hurt me. Anyway, I'm always going to be in some sort of trouble with our esteemed training master. I can't help it - debating was one of my favorite activities at the university and arguments just seem to tumble out of my mouth whenever the Stump is being unreasonable ... which is often."

"The what?" Kel eyes widened. She couldn't believe the older page would be so disrespectful. Neal had started to walk toward the archway that led outside. He nodded at Kel for her to follow him. She hesitated for a moment, but decided it couldn't be any worse than Joren's lame tour. Maybe it would be better - Neal did seem to know his way around.

"Oh, don't look so shocked. Lord Wyldon is so stiff he resembles a stump - so that's what I call him." Neal quietly replied, once they were outside. "I don't call him that to his face. Didn't you hear me say I've lived at court all my life? I have nicknames for practically everyone around here."

Kel shook her head in amazement and said, "You're very bold, Neal. I hope he never catches you."

Neal laughed. "You're pretty bold yourself, Keladry of Mindelan. But I guess you'd have to be bold to want to come here and train with the boys - although, you're not what I expected. My ten-year-old sister is so much smaller than you are. She's a good friend of Princess Kalasin. You know the princess wanted to be the first authorized girl page, right?"

"No ... I didn't," Kel continued to be amazed. "What happened? Why didn't she follow Prince Roald here?"

"Her father, King Jonathan, talked her out of it," said Neal in a low voice. "Queen Thayet was so angry, she moved her things into a room on the other side of the palace and stayed there all last year. The only time I've seen the Lioness angrier was when the Stump convinced the King to put you on probation for the year. I don't think we'll be seeing Lady Alanna around here for quite a while."

Now Kel was completely shocked. The King had refused his own daughter's desire to be a page! And his Champion was mad at him? Not for the first time, Kel wondered what sort of man King Jonathan really was. More than anything, she wished Lord Wyldon had agreed to let the gossipy, irreverent Neal be her sponsor instead of the beautiful, spiteful Joren. An idea started to form in her head.

Kel looked thoughtful for a moment and then she asked, "Neal ... I still don't know where the classrooms are or how to get from here to the stables. Could you help me learn my way around the palace - I mean - the places we're expected to know how to get to by tomorrow? I think my sponsor was supposed to show me, but he went into town with his friends and ... well, you're the only ..."

"Say no more, Demoiselle Keladry," Neal sounded very formal now, but his eyes were still twinkling with humor. "I shall be most happy to help you - until the start of my detention. Besides, the new boys haven't really started talking to me yet, either. I think my age has something to do with it, but they'll get over it soon enough."

Kel shook her head, "I don't know about that. Quinden already hates me. The other new pages try not to make eye contact with me. The older pages ..."

"Joren has a betting pool to see how quickly he can run you out of here," Neal informed her as they walked toward the stables. "I think most bets are for a few days or one week, but there are a few optimistic gamblers who placed large sums of money on two weeks. Just so you know, I bet that you would leave when _I_ do. And I plan on getting my shield." Neal had stopped and was looking directly at her face now.

Kel's cheeks burned with embarrassment. She knew she has just made her first friend at the palace. She didn't want to say something silly and make Neal regret his wild bet. Now she really was angry at Lord Wyldon for assigning Joren to be her sponsor, even if he was the only 'acceptable' volunteer. She would just have to show him - prove to him and everyone else - that she belonged here. If her instincts were correct, she could trust Neal. She would just have to build from there. Joren was not going to get rid of her - certainly not as fast as he thought he would!

"Thank you ... for helping me, Neal." Kel stopped and placed her palms on her thighs and bowed her head toward Neal in a Yamani gesture of thanks. "Please ... call me Kel."

**

* * *

**

A/N: Okay, we have survived 'Twilight Mania' in my house and I can get back to writing. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. Thanks! :D


	4. Training Begins

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world.**

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. Please bear with me - I have found that I need the books right next to my keyboard at all times so I can check facts and keep to the right timeline of events. It feels like it takes forever. Thanks again for your reviews - please keep them coming. I appreciate your support! Enjoy! :D**

_

* * *

_

Hakuin turned back to Kel. "Come show the other new ones how to fall. While they practice, we can see what else you know."

_"Just what they taught the court ladies," Kel said. "Mostly counters to being grabbed or struck."_

_"You were with the embassy?" he asked._

_Kel nodded._

_"That explains everything." To the other new pages he said, "Watch how Keladry falls."_

_They all stared at her with a combination of confusion and dislike. It occurred to her that she had done the very thing he brother had warned against. The other pages thought she was showing off. She couldn't help that now. The damage was done. She would just have to make sure that she didn't repeat her mistake. _

_Tamora Pierce, __First Test_

**

* * *

**

Training Begins

"Whoa! Did you see that?" Cleon of Kennan exclaimed to Garvey of Runnerspring. "She almost threw him!"

"Yeah, but I don't believe it." Garvey answered. "He must be going easy on her because she's 'The Girl'. There's no way she could have actually done it herself."

"What are you two blathering on about?" sniffed Joren, as he dusted himself off. Garvey had just thrown him and he had rolled back up into a ready stance. "What happened?"

"It's the Lump," Vinson growled. He had thrown Prince Roald over his hip and he also had seen the exchange between Kel and the Shang Horse, "She's getting special attention just because she's a _girl_. We all knew it would happen."

The older pages were supposed to be practicing their kicks, throws and punches while Eda Bell, the Shang Wildcat, watched over them. Now their attention was drawn to the activities of the new pages. In particular, every boy was watching 'The Girl', who had almost thrown their much larger instructor, Hakuin Seastone, the Shang Horse. Soon enough, the Wildcat scolded them and told them to get back to work on their own practice drills. The boys did as they were told, but they also continued to sneak glances at the new pages and they watched as Kel performed fall after perfect fall.

* * *

When the time came for all the pages to do their drills with the wooden staffs, Joren noticed that the Lump seemed very much at ease with the weapon in her hands. The new, red-headed page with whom she was partnered seemed weak against her. It was embarrassing the way the boy could not keep his blows coordinated with their instructor's cadence. Joren gnashed his teeth together and scowled. This was an unexpected development. He - and everyone else - had assumed that the girl page would not really know anything about fighting skills. They all thought that she would be shy and clumsy - the way that many of them had been on their first day of training, only worse. Instead, she seemed confident and almost graceful in the practice yard. It was unbelievable! Joren knew he had to get in there and test her for himself. As soon as it was a time to switch partners, he made sure he was standing in front of the Lump.

Joren said nothing, but he smiled at Kel as they fell into an easy rhythm of blocks and blows. She did not return his smile and that made him angry. He wanted to wipe that blank look off of her face and make her cry. He could feel the strength in the Lump's counter-movements even though her face never changed its expression and that frustrated him all the more. Joren never would have thought it possible, but he just _knew _she was holding back! He decided to test her further by aiming for her ribs, but she smoothly moved out of line and he missed her completely. Sergeant Ezeko, their primary trainer for this class, noticed the deviation from the standard drills and came over to observe Joren and Kel more closely. Joren did not try anything else tricky for a while, but he continued to measure his opponent's abilities.

As soon as the sergeant moved on to watch another pair, Joren saw an opening and tried to strike Kel on her collarbone. When she stepped back from the line this time, Lord Wyldon yelled at Kel for deviating from the drill. Joren smiled at her again, only now he was mocking her as he struck harder and harder with each blow, angrier than ever that the Lump was able to hold her own against him. Last year, he had made two of the new pages cry by the end of this drill. When he could hear both Wyldon and Ezeko yelling at Neal and Zahir, Joren made his next slick move against Kel. Several of the other boys shifted around to make a kind of human wall which blocked what Joren was doing from their instructors' view. Now he really struck hard and fast; the girl kept up with him and defended herself quite well. Joren did get in a few good blows, but Kel was quicker and more skillful with her staff, even as they fought toward the barn wall. The sparring with words continued in earnest. Kel said it was bad enough that she had Joren for a sponsor, but this unsupervised fighting was ridiculous. Joren insulted Kel's hero, Alanna the Lioness, and called Kel's quest ridiculous.

"You never should have come to the palace!" Joren hissed at Kel through clenched teeth. "Girls don't belong here - no matter what you say about your lying, cheating Lioness. I _hate_ girls - with all your sniveling and fawning and games. Why won't you just go away?"

"What? And give you the satisfaction of winning your betting pool?" Kel spat back at him, countering his heavy blows. She was tired of his bullying. "I've never sniveled or fawned over anybody, nor will I play games, as you say - _sponsor_. I'm ready to be treated like everyone else. I'm here to earn my shield and I'm here to stay!"

"You've made a big mistake and you're going to regret you ever met me," Joren growled. And he attacked her with a series of fierce strikes and blows. "This ends now - it's time for you to leave!"

"I already regret that I met you - and I told you," Kel executed a couple of swift maneuvers her Yamani instructors had taught her. She finally was able to twist Joren's staff out of his hands and drive him down to the ground in front of her with her staff pointed at his windpipe. "I'm _staying_."

Unfortunately, Lord Wyldon took notice of their little side battle and came over to scold Kel for her use of Yamani fighting tactics. Even though the Shang warriors seemed impressed, Kel knew that she had overstepped some invisible boundary with the training master. It was very depressing to her to know that her sponsor - hah! - would stop at nothing to force her to leave. She wondered again if Lord Wyldon had purposely allowed Joren to sponsor her, knowing that the boy was a bully and a girl-hater. She was mostly relieved when Sergeant Ezeko assigned Neal to be her partner for the remainder of the class period, even though the instructors then corrected her every time they came near to her. Kel just wanted everybody to stop staring, so she fixed her face in a perfect Yamani mask and forced herself be like a stone.

* * *

"You really do know how to make an impression," Neal drawled amiably, when the teachers were out of earshot. "And I'd say your sponsor has shown his true colors to you now."

Kel's Yamani mask did not flinch. "Yes, well, I suppose I should not be surprised. I know that most of you don't want me to be here, anyway."

"Hey!" Neal protested. "Don't lump _me_ in with all the rest of the boys."

Kel scowled at him as he struck her staff, "Is that supposed to be funny? Does _everyone_ call me 'the Lump' now?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Kel," Neal sounded worried. "Who's calling you 'the Lump' - and why would they do such a thing?"

Kel sighed and took her turn striking at Neal's staff. "Vinson started it - he said I look like a lump when I try not to show my emotions. Instead of my name, Joren and the other boys have started to call me that now, so when you said not to 'lump you in' with all the other boys, I just thought ..."

"Ah ... sorry about that," Neal shook his head as he blocked. "I didn't know - honestly, I didn't. I'm glad you told me, Kel, but I'm going to keep on calling you by your own name." Then Neal whispered loud enough that only Kel could hear him. "You should try to leave your lunch table a bit early today, so you can follow me up to the right classroom. I want to make sure that you are already sitting in your assigned seat when Joren gets there. I promise you, the look on his face will be worth it - I _know_ that he expects you to be lost in the bowels of the palace all afternoon. He's going to be so mad!"

Kel wasn't so sure she wanted Joren to be any angrier at her than he already was, but she liked the way Neal thought and she was glad to have someone who actually was looking out for her best interests. The partners stopped talking when Lord Wyldon drifted their way and he started to correct Kel's form again. She still was angry that the training master had singled her out so much, but there was nothing she could do about it. Kel knew she would have to prove to Lord Wyldon that she was worthy enough to stay, but things didn't look so good this morning.

* * *

When the bell rang, they all moved along to the archery range and Kel was sorry to part company with Neal. This time, she knew she would not impress anyone with her skills. Yamani bows were very different from the ones they used here, so it really was more like learning how to handle a new weapon. Kel just followed the trainer's instructions and tried not to make too much of a fool of herself. It was a difficult class for her, but she survived it.

Joren was glad to see that the Lump was not as skilled with a bow as she was with a staff and he stayed away from her at the archery range. Everyone could see that she was barely holding her own and that she made a lot of mistakes with the bow. Later, all of the boys snickered when they saw the girl had chosen to ride a horse that was far too large for her to handle. She looked so pitiful trying to control the beast, but Joren wasn't fooled - he now knew that she could be a formidable foe, even if she was a girl. The blond page vowed never again to let the Lump get the upper hand. He didn't care that she had been trained by the savages in the Yamani Islands, he would study his opponent to discover every weakness she possessed and then he would use them all against her. Since the Lump wanted to be treated the same as the boys, well, that's just what she would get from him.

* * *

When the pages were released to get cleaned up for lunch and to prepare for their afternoon classes, Joren watched Kel as she slowly ran up the hill to the palace to wash up in her room. No one expected the girl to bathe with the male pages in the men's bath house, although Joren did think about how funny that would be. He truly hoped the Lump would be hungry enough to fill her lunch tray and forget about the fact that he and Zahir would take their pick of her food. Joren smiled wickedly as he remembered that he had told the girl to use the wrong staircase to get to the classrooms. He wondered how long it would take the Lump to find her way back upstairs and how much trouble she would get into when she finally arrived at their classroom. Those thoughts made Joren so happy, he began to whistle a little tune as he entered the bath house.

Joren did not notice that Neal had been watching him the whole time he was watching Kel. Joren did not notice when Neal got up from his lunch table, nor did he notice that Kel followed Neal out of the mess hall. He did not even bother to stop her from leaving their table before he was finished picking away at the food on her tray. Actually, Joren was glad to be rid of the Lump for a few moments so he and his cronies could laugh about how late she would be for their first academic class. At the bath house, he had told them that he was certain that she would take the wrong staircase and become hopelessly lost. Several of his fellow pages had placed friendly little wagers on the matter. Later, Joren definitely did not notice Neal hiding a smile behind his hand as the arrogant blond page's jaw clenched tight when he entered their classroom and saw Kel - sitting safely at her assigned desk.

**

* * *

**

A/N: BTW, there's so much material to cover in this AU that I'm creating that it makes my head spin. I already have the ending in mind, but I also want to stay true to the characters, so it's almost painfully slow for me to go through all of this rewriting. I'd love to jump forward in time, but then it wouldn't make any sense how I got there. Anywho ... let me know what you think of all this. Thanks! --Ally-Marty :D


	5. Classroom Revelations

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers, everything you don't recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Here is a long chapter to make up for the previous one being so choppy. Again, thanks for all your reviews and your support! Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Joren did not notice that Neal had been watching him the whole time he was watching Kel. Joren did not notice when Neal got up from his lunch table, nor did he notice that Kel followed Neal out of the mess hall. He did not even bother to stop her from leaving their table before he was finished picking away at the food on her tray. Actually, Joren was glad to be rid of the Lump for a few moments so he and his cronies could laugh about how late she would be for their first academic class. At the bath house, he had told them that he was certain that she would take the wrong staircase and become hopelessly lost. Several of his fellow pages had placed friendly little wagers on the matter. Later, Joren definitely did not notice Neal hiding a smile behind his hand as the arrogant blond page's jaw clenched tight when he entered their classroom and saw Kel - sitting safely at her assigned desk._

* * *

**Classroom Revelations**

On the first day of classes, the teachers mostly focused on assessing the new pages' abilities, while the older pages reviewed work from the previous year. Kel had been a very good student in the Yamani Islands and she was able to read and write and do arithmetic in both languages with ease. The Mithran priests who taught the pages were very impressed with Kel's academic skills and praised her in front of the boys. Kel wished they had not been so lavish with their compliments, but the damage was already done. Most of the boys - not just Joren and his cronies - glared at her the rest of the afternoon.

Kel enjoyed history and law, especially when she discovered that Sir Myles of Olau - the Lioness' father - was the instructor. All of the first-year pages enjoyed the following class in the study of plants and animals with Lindhall Reed. After that, Prince Roald and Neal and other Gifted students attended a magecraft class, while Kel and the other non-magical pages went to a class taught by the basilisk, Tkaa. She enjoyed learning about various immortals, even the ones that horrified her - like spidrens - and she felt sorry for her year-mate Seaver when he told the class that a spidren had killed his father. All in all, Kel had had a fair afternoon, until they arrived at the last class of the day - etiquette, with Master Upton Oakbridge.

Etiquette class was boring beyond belief. Master Oakbridge was a stuffy, fussy man who announced to all of the pages that they would be learning a lot about the customs and courtesies of the Yamani peoples during the year. The reason for this was Prince Roald's betrothal to a Yamani princess and an upcoming state visit during which all of the pages would be expected to serve. The boys all moaned and complained about learning yet another set of bows and polite gestures, but Kel smiled and relaxed since she already knew these things from her six years of living in the Yamani Islands. Kel even recognized the book of etiquette from which their homework assignment came because her father, the royal ambassador to the Yamani Islands, had written it. Unfortunately, Master Oakbridge made a big deal of her 'insider knowledge' and the day ended on a sour note for Kel when the teacher assigned her homework to report on certain chapters of the book to the whole class the next day. He made matters worse by declaring that she probably would become his assistant in all matters pertaining to Yamani customs.

By the time Kel got back to her room, she was seething with frustration and her body ached all over from the morning's exercises. She was bitterly disappointed to find that someone had poured urine in front of her door. She wondered if her sponsor had anything to do with the nasty prank, but there was no time to deal with it because she had to prepare for supper. It did not take Kel very long to change into her cream-colored shift and dark blue dress. Thankfully, the servants had pressed all of her dresses and accessories, so she did not look as rumpled as she had the first two days. Then Kel hurried to the mess hall for her next mealtime hazing session with Joren and the rest of his friends.

* * *

After dinner, Joren ordered Kel to report to his room so that he could say that he helped her with her homework. Sponsors were supposed to assist the new pages with their studies during the first few weeks and Joren was trying to build favor with Lord Wyldon. He did not intend on giving Kel any useful help - especially because he would not have been able to do so anyway - but he had to keep up appearances. Kel did as she was told and brought her books and homework to Joren's room. She was not surprised to see that he had a manservant who attended him. Joren did not introduce the man, so Kel introduced herself to him.

"Hello, my name is Keladry of Mindelan," she stated and extended her hand to the somber-looking, gray-haired man. "Your ... master is ... my sponsor."

"Yes, milady," the man bowed, "I am Spencer Mason and I have been with milord's family for--"

"Oh, shut it, Spencer." Joren drawled from his chair at his desk. "She won't be here long enough for you worry about. That will be all." And he waved his hand at the man in a gesture of dismissal.

The manservant bowed and went into his room which was connected to Joren's room. He made eye contact with Kel before he closed his door and she could see that the man looked at her with pity. Joren's rudeness made her burn with more suppressed anger. She knew that he truly intended for her to be gone in a few days, but that was no excuse for his behavior. Kel's parents never would have allowed her or her siblings to treat a servant or anyone else so terribly.

"Usually, I study with my friends," Joren looked at her with contempt. "But they've requested to have a respite from your presence, so I'm stuck with you on my own for tonight. Also, Lord Wyldon warned me to keep the door open while you're in here, but I hardly think he needed to waste his breath. It's not like you're an actual woman or anything. Gods! Most of your year-mates would look better in a dress than you do."

Kel knew that her face was red after Joren insulted her femininity. She never had wanted to hit someone so much as she did at that moment. "_I am stone. I am a calm pool of water._" She thought and struggled to keep her face from betraying her further. Instead, she took a deep breath, kept her Yamani mask in place and sat down at a small table next to the room's hearth.

"If you have any questions, keep them to yourself," Joren told her as he bent over his parchment. "I really need to concentrate on my studies. You seemed to do well enough for yourself in class today, Miss 'I-already-know-everything-about-the-Yamani-savages', so I don't think I have to help you all that much anyway." He poured himself a cup of juice from a pitcher on his desk, but he did not offer anything to Kel.

Kel said nothing and Joren did not look at her any more as she spread out her books and papers on the table. They sat in stony silence for the entire study period and she worked on her assignments by herself. Kel was so tired from the long day's activities that she barely managed to stay awake. When the bell rang to announce that it was time for everyone to return to their own rooms, Joren merely glanced at her and told her to leave. Again, Kel silently obeyed the hostile page and wondered what it would be like if someone more helpful - like Neal - was her sponsor.

* * *

As far as Kel was concerned, the first two weeks of training and classes went by very quickly. Her aches and bruises began to mend and she became more confident as each day passed. The academic classes were surprisingly easy for her and she found that she had to stop herself from answering too many questions so the boys wouldn't become even more offended by her presence. As it was, the only boy who talked to her at all was Neal. Kel had no choice except to deal with Joren's open hostility toward her. Other than study times, she avoided her sponsor whenever she could, but mealtimes continued to be a chore and she was hungry all the time. Neal noticed that Joren rarely allowed Kel to eat more than her soup or porridge, so he started to sneak rolls and cheese and other bits of food to her whenever he could. Kel did not tell her only human friend that she mostly fed the bread to the ever-present flock of sparrows who had become her closest 'friends' at the palace.

* * *

Each day that Kel remained as a page in training, Joren became more surly and agitated. Some of his friends started to joke about his inability to get rid of the Lump as quickly as he had boasted. His betting pool was a shambles and some of the boys had changed their bets to midwinter and beyond. He tried again to partner with the girl in the practice yards, but she was careful to pair up with either her year-mates or the prince or the tall, good-natured Cleon. Joren knew that the Lump would not want to get into another situation like their first day with the staffs, but he had to find a way to make her fight him again. He was sure he could get rid of her if he gave her the beating she deserved. Joren desperately wanted to make the Lump leave before he embarrassed himself in front of her in an academic class.

The first two weeks of academics were fairly easy for everyone. The Mithran priests and other instructors usually reviewed work from the previous year with the older pages and made assessments of the new pages' abilities. So far, there had been no recitations of work in the classrooms, but Joren knew that his 'holiday' would end very soon. He despised the afternoon classes because they exposed his glaring academic deficiencies. It was one thing to shame himself in front of a bunch of boys - most of whom he could bully or threaten into silence. It was an entirely different thing to show his weaknesses to the Lump.

In their reading and writing class, the normal drill was for each student to copy two lines of a well-known poem or essay, or whatever writing the teacher brought in, onto a piece of parchment during the first half of the class time. Then each of the students, in alphabetical order by fief name, would stand and recite their two assigned lines of the poem during the second half of the class. There was a similar drill in their mathematics class: each student copied his math problems onto a blackboard and presented his answers - and his reasoning for those answers - to the class. History was not as bad, especially because Sir Myles of Olau encouraged a lot of debating in his class. Joren enjoyed the study of plants and animals, but not so much the class on immortals and magical matters. Etiquette - which no one liked - was by far the most boring class, but there were some requirements for recitation and Joren did not like ending the day in such a depressing way.

So Joren doubled his efforts at hazing the Lump when no adults were watching - shoving her into the stable walls, tripping her in the hallway, eating most of her food and whispering insults at her whenever he could. He did not have to work very hard to get her year-mates to exclude her from their activities and he knew that the old page from Queenscove was the only one who talked to the Lump at all. Somehow, Joren knew that Neal was helping her in small ways and it was time to put a stop to it. The Lump had been with them long enough.

* * *

Nealan of Queenscove had joined the palace training the previous April, after he decided - against his father's strong protests - to follow in his deceased brothers' footsteps. The House of Queenscove was one of the noblest in the realm and had always provided knights in service to the crown. Both of Neal's older brothers had been knights, so he went to the university to become a trained healer, like their father, Duke Baird. His brothers were killed in the Immortals War and now that Neal was his family's only remaining male in his generation, he felt it was his duty to become a knight as well as a healer. He was already fifteen and older than all of the current fourth-year pages, so no one was going to haze or harass him. His own year-mates, including Kel, were either ten or eleven years old and it was difficult for most of them to feel comfortable around him. Neal spent most of his time alone or with some of his older friends at the palace.

Since he had already completed a few years of university, the magically Gifted Neal was far more academically advanced than all of the other pages. Math was not his strongest subject, but in many of the other classes he was more of an assistant than an actual student. Neal had figured out which boys were good students and which boys were not. Joren definitely was not one of the better students. One afternoon, in a flash of inspiration, Neal suggested an idea to their reading and writing instructor, an orange-robed Mithran priest named Master Chalmers. The priest liked the idea very much and decided to put it into action right away.

Master Chalmers announced to the class that since they now were in their third week of classes, they would continue their reading of the epic poem 'Ode to the Lady Merinne' by the famous second century bard, Iflander of Wellam. All of the older pages groaned because this was the longest, sappiest, most boring poem in all of Tortall. They had started working through the piece before the summer break, and the thought of continuing it into this new class year was nearly unbearable. In fact, Neal probably was the only student in the room who enjoyed the poem. Several pages, including Joren and Zahir glared at the older boy.

"Alright, boys, settle down," said Master Chalmers. "This is a fine piece of work for you to study, so stop complaining. Pardon me, Mindelan, I did not mean to exclude you when I addressed the males, but you never seem to complain anyway."

Neal winced as he saw Kel's face become a mask again. He was certain that she did not want to be singled out any more than she already had been during her training. That morning, the Shang Horse had praised Kel's form when they were practicing kicks and the archery master displayed Kel's two bull's-eyes and praised her on how quickly she was making progress. Neal hoped that no one would pay any more attention to the girl once Master Chalmers announced his idea - that they would 'shake things up a bit' by assigning the lines of the poem, beginning with the boys whose fief names were at the end of the roster _first_.

"So, Seaver of Tasride will take the first two lines of the seventeenth stanza," Master Chalmers announced, looking down at his roster, "Joren of Stone Mountain will have the next two lines, followed by Garvey of Runnerspring, and then ..." The teacher went up the roster and assigned all of that day's lines to each student, ending with Prince Roald of Conté and Zahir ibn Alhaz, who were very glad not to be first for a change.

Neal watched all the color drain from Joren's face when he realized that he would have to stand and recite his lines next after the new page, Seaver of Tasride. The page from Stone Mountain almost never had to do anything more than copy his lines and turn them in, because they rarely ever made it to the end of the roster for recitation before the bell rang. Garvey and Vinson exchanged glances and then looked at their friend with genuine concern. All of the older pages knew that Joren had difficulty writing and an even worse time reading what he had written.

"Tasride, please stand." said Master Chalmers as soon as half of the class time had passed. "You may begin reading now."

The new page shakily got to his feet and began to read from his parchment. "Alas ... and did the ... f-fair maiden ... arise ... t-to the ... ch-ch-challenge ..." Seaver's voice wavered and he squinted at his lines until he began to relax. Then he was able to read without stammering. The boy was visibly relieved when he finished and the Master nodded his approval and allowed him to sit down.

"Stone Mountain, please stand." Master Chalmers' jaw tightened because he knew that he was not likely to enjoy this page's reading at all. Joren had rarely received passing marks in this class. "You may ... begin."

Joren stood up and swallowed hard. He always hated this part of class and he despised it all the more today because of the Lump sitting there, watching him along with everyone else. He took a deep breath and started to cough as though he was choking. Garvey got up and began to pound him on the back, knocking his parchments to the floor as he did so. Vinson also came to Joren's aid with a cup of water. Even Prince Roald and Cleon rolled their eyes at the boys' obvious bad acting. Master Chalmers dropped his forehead into his palms and shook his head. The new pages wondered what was going on, but this was not a new ploy and the teacher was not fooled by Joren's stalling antics.

"That's enough, everyone," said the Mithran priest. "Thank you Runnerspring and Genlith. Your chivalry is well-noted. Please return to your seats and let's move on. Just ... read your lines, Stone Mountain. Preferably today, if you please."

Joren slowly picked up his parchment off the floor, straightened up and began to read, making several mistakes in word order and pronunciation. It was painful for everyone to hear him trip over the simple words and worse when he stammered through the more complex words. Some of the new boys snickered, but a stern look from Master Chalmers stopped them. Two spots of red colored the pale page's cheeks as he struggled to finish reading what he had written. Finally, the teacher collected Joren's parchment and waved at him to sit down. Then he assigned him an entire stanza to copy for homework and specified that there had better not be any mistakes. Even Kel felt sorry for Joren by the time he sat back down.

When it was Kel's turn to read, her voice was clear and she sounded confident. Master Chalmers complimented her handwriting and held it up for her classmates to see the neat, precise pen strokes she had made on her parchment. Once again, Neal winced at the teacher's oblivious nature. If looks could kill, the poor girl would have been dead by the time she finished reading the first line of her assignment. Fortunately, several other boys recited their work just as well as she did and Master Chalmers generously praised them, too.

The situation was much the same in their mathematics class. Master Gerard had gone easy on the students during the first two weeks, but this afternoon he demanded that each page stand up and present the answers to the previous night's homework. The problems were simple and Kel had a natural ability with math, so she did quite well. Some of the boys were impressed, albeit grudgingly, but most of them just felt more animosity and jealousy toward the girl. This time, Joren _was_ saved by the bell and did not have to present his assigned problem; he knew he would not be so fortunate in the days to come. Still, it bothered him that the Lump also seemed to be good at math, as well as all of the other academic subjects. Joren burned with anger and resentment and he renewed his vow to get rid of the Lump as soon as possible.

At supper time, Joren gave away every scrap of Kel's food to the other boys as soon as Lord Wyldon finished praying for their meal. He watched the girl and waited for her to protest so that he could justify a more physical punishment for her insolence, but she merely looked down at her empty tray and said nothing. Joren was hopeful that if the Lump was too hungry to think straight, maybe she would start making mistakes in her classes and people wouldn't be so impressed by her work anymore. He had other schemes in action that were coming along nicely. He even convinced Zahir to allow Quinden to have his first full meal since coming to the palace. Joren smiled when the new page's eyes filled with gratitude toward him and he knew that the boy would do anything now to help get rid of the Lump.

* * *

There were days when Kel did not have any written homework assignments. On those happy occasions, Joren did not require her to come to his room during study time. He considered it a relief not to have the Lump sitting around while he and his friends hassled and hazed other new pages. He told her year-mates that it was the girl's fault that they had to run extra errands and endure his wrath because she was shirking her duty and did not show up to his room on purpose. Joren knew his schemes to turn the other first-year pages against the Lump were working when he witnessed the way they avoided her and would not talk to her.

One evening, when Kel did not have any homework, she decided to take a little walk and look at some of the beautiful tapestries which hung on the walls of their dormitory hallways. She was glad for the free time because her study times with Joren were such a waste, especially since her sponsor never helped her with her homework. She would have offered to help him with his reading and writing - her younger brother, Avinar, had had similar difficulties - but Joren never gave her the opportunity. When Joren's friends came by to study with him, they rarely spoke to Kel except to insult her or to send her on pointless errands to fetch all manner of items for them such as library books and evening snack trays. She never complained because she did not want to give her sponsor any reason to tell the training master that she was uncooperative.

As Kel neared the corner to turn down the hallway where Joren's room was, she heard the clang of a tray hitting the floor and pottery breaking. She stopped in her tracks when she heard the sound of her sponsor's jeering voice.

"Look at this mess! Now you've ruined our snack." There was a whimper and the sound of a closed-fist punch hitting a soft target - like someone's belly. "You'd better start cleaning it up, you clumsy oaf! It's too bad _the Girl _didn't show up tonight, or this never would have happened to you."

Other boys' laughter drifted down the corridor and Kel cringed. She and Quinden had experienced more than their fair share of slaps against the backs of their heads and being tripped up as they walked along, but this was something different. Quietly, she peaked around the corner, expecting to see her sullen year-mate taking his abuse the same way she did - silently. Kel was shocked to see not Quinden; rather the red-headed Merric was standing there offering excuses about not having a cloth to sop up the spilled milk. Joren merely pushed the boy down into the mess on the floor and told him to use his clothes as a mop. One of the older boys saw her peeking around the corner and nudged Joren.

She flattened herself against the wall and tried to think fast. It was one thing for Joren and his cronies to haze her and Quinden because they were used to it now, but Merric looked so defenseless and scared. Obviously, _his_ sponsor was not hazing him in the same ways. She wanted to help Merric but she wasn't sure how to do it. Kel knew her time for making a decision was over when Joren grabbed her arm and yanked her around the corner.

"Well, well, well, look who's finally arrived." Joren smiled at Kel, but the smile did not reach his cold, sky-blue eyes. "What's your problem, Lump? If you had been here, I wouldn't have had to grab this stupid newbie to run _your_ errands. I always have to get someone else to do the things you're supposed to do when you're not here _on time_." Kel was stunned by Joren's ability to be such a Player. He made it sound as though he had not excused her from coming to his room to study.

Kel made eye contact with Merric, but he turned away, shame-faced at his disgraceful position. Quinden came running from the other direction with a new tray of snacks and drinks. He scowled at Kel and disappeared into Joren's room. Kel realized that this must be part of the reason her year-mates despised her so much. If Joren was hazing _them_ and then putting the blame on _her_ for their woes ... no wonder they hated her!

"Actually, I've changed my mind about tonight." Joren released Kel's arm and pushed her away from him. "I think it will be much more fun _studying_ if we don't have to look at your lump-face all night. Go back to your own room."

When she hesitated, the cruel page shoved her again and raised his hand as if to hit her if she didn't walk away. Even though he was being a bit over-dramatic, she could see that he really meant to harm her, so she turned around and quickly returned to her room. Never before had Kel backed down from an actual fight with a bully. She knew that she could not report Joren because no one liked or respected a tattle-tale. Besides, he would just say that he was 'keeping with tradition' and that she had misunderstood what really happened. Kel was ashamed of her cowardice and she felt that her silence probably guaranteed more hazing than normal against Merric, Quinden and her other year-mates.

Kel's thoughts were troubled when she went to bed. Her stomach had turned sour and she was not able rest well. Somehow, she knew she had to figure out a way to put an end to Joren's hazing. Kel did not intend for anyone else to suffer in silence any longer.

**

* * *

**

A/N: Phew! That took way longer to write than I wanted it to. Oh well, please let me know what you think of it. Thanks! :D


	6. The Last Straw

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I appreciate all your reviews and your support! Here's another lengthy chapter for you. Enjoy! :D**

_

* * *

_

_Joren immediately pushed his volume off the table. As Merric stared at him, Joren then lifted a stack of smaller books with a taunting smile. His eyes never left Merric's as he let them drop one by one onto the floor._

_Kel's stomach tightened. She took a deep breath and walked into the library._

_"This is wrong," she said, halting in front of the blond page._

_"Oh, look -- it's the Lump." On the other side of the table Vinson got to his feet. "Do you want trouble, probationer?" he asked, grinning. "We'd just loooove to give it to you."_

_"No, I don't want it," Kel replied. She kept her eyes on Joren. ... "What I want is for you to stop pushing the first-years around."_

_Joren stared at her, his blue eyes bright. "I see," he said in a thoughtful tone. "We haven't gotten rid of you yet, so you think you're accepted. Merric, pick up those books." _

_"Don't, Merric," Kel said, still watching Joren._

_"It's custom," the redheaded boy muttered._

_"Not like this, it's not," replied Kel._

_--Tamora Pierce, _First Test

* * *

**The Last Straw**

Kel looked at her reflection in the mirror and smiled widely, and then she winced at the pain she felt in the middle of her face. Even though Duke Baird had mended her broken nose and healed all of her wounds so that she could attend training, Kel's face was not a pretty sight. The previous day, when Kel heard Joren and his friends hazing Merric again, she knew she had to do something or she would not be able to face herself or anyone else.

This time, she did not run away. This time, she behaved with honor. This time, Kel stood up to Joren and his bullying friends.

Now Kel's body ached in places she had not known existed and her fingers were tight from their bruises when she did her work. Every time she moved too quickly, her body reminded her that it had taken quite a beating. Still, this had been one of the best days she had experienced since she first arrived at the palace. Kel touched her still-bruised face and daydreamed about what had been 'the last straw' for her when it came to Joren and his hazing.

* * *

**_Flashback to two weeks earlier_**

Kel plopped down on the edge of her bed and pinched her earlobe to keep from crying. She was so tired and hungry she didn't know if she could stand it anymore. It had been a week since the pages had started to train with the lance and she felt as if her arms were going to fall off. At first, Kel had wondered if her brother, Inness, was correct in saying that females did not have the upper body strength to master the lance, or most other heavy weapons. When she went to the Shang Wildcat for advice, the older woman gave her several strengthening exercises to do on her own time. She could feel the difference almost immediately as she worked on her weaker muscle groups.

The girl page had been getting up before dawn for the past four days so that she could practice the exercises before breakfast. Except - she hardly ate any breakfast anymore - on most mornings, the only food Joren would let her have was a bowl of oatmeal and whatever she could hide within it. The other meals were just as difficult and Neal's secret snacks were not enough to sustain her. Her stomach growled and complained at her constantly and her dresses began to hang looser than ever on her thinning frame. Kel barely was able to concentrate in her classes because she was thinking about food all the time.

Earlier that evening, when Kel was working in the armory to serve out her punishment for being late to meals and late to class and for not having completed all her assignments, she had dropped her lance and discovered that it was filled with lead weights. At first she was hot with rage that the boys would do such a thing to her. But after she calmed down and thought about it, she realized that only Joren could have figured out a way to ensure that her lance was three times as heavy as everyone else's lance. He was the one who had handed out the lances on the first day of tilting instruction.

Kel boldly decided to keep the weapon and learn to master it anyway - she would use the prank for her own benefit and prove to everyone that she was just as good as, if not better than the boys. Still, she was bone-tired and knew she had to do something to put a stop to Joren's hazing. Everything he had done to her since the beginning of their training had added more pressure - more proverbial 'straw on the camel's back' - and she had finally had enough. The weighted lance was the last straw.

_**End Flashback **_

* * *

After her brawl with Joren, Vinson and Zahir, Kel had been afraid that Lord Wyldon would dismiss her immediately from any further training. She knew that the boys certainly expected her to be thrown out, even though they were the ones fighting with her. Kel was shocked when the training master actually accepted the time-honored excuse for fighting - "I fell down, milord." She was grateful that he sent her to Duke Baird for healing because she probably would not have been able to continue to train with the injuries the older boys had given her. Kel didn't mind that Neal made such a fuss over her as his father tended to her. It was funny to watch her friend be so melodramatic.

The following morning had been glorious. Kel sat with Neal at breakfast and ate her first full meal for the first time since she had arrived at the palace. She decided that she had had enough of Joren's 'sponsorship' and figured that their brawl probably sent the message that she wasn't going to allow him to stomp all over her anymore. She didn't even glance toward Joren's table when she got her tray and marched over to where Neal and Cleon sat. Kel ate scrambled eggs and crispy bacon, savoring every bite of the hot rolls Joren normally had stolen off of her tray. She even had her pick of the best fruit on the table and she put a big red apple in her pocket to feed to her horse, Peachblossom, later.

Kel's performance in her morning classes was much improved since her stomach wasn't growling and breaking her concentration. She actually laughed during lunch and enjoyed her afternoon classes because she felt so good. After a filling supper, she studied in the comfort of her own room and no one bothered her. She was glad to be free of Joren and his cronies.

Of course, not everything was good - Merric wouldn't talk to her or even look her in the eyes. She knew her fellow page felt shamed by her fighting Joren and the older boys. Kel tried to tell Merric that the fight was not about _him_, but her year-mate wouldn't listen to her. Also, she would have punishment duty in the armory until April, so she wouldn't get to visit the city of Corus during the upcoming Midwinter festival. Kel didn't care; it had been a great day and she slept very well that night.

* * *

During the pages' Midwinter break, the headmaster of academic studies, Master Chalmers, placed a parchment on Lord Wyldon's desk. The document detailed each student's first semester grades. The Mithran priest waited patiently for the training master to comment on the academic marks. There were very few surprises, but certain students really stood out from the rest. Nealan of Queenscove was the best student overall, of course, and that was what they had expected anyway due to the young man's university experience. Cleon of Kennan also was at the top of the class. The probationary page, Keladry of Mindelan, who seemed to excel in every academic area, was quite the surprise. Another surprise was Joren of Stone Mountain, who was all but failing most of his classes already. In the previous two years, his marks had been passable at least through midwinter, but now the boy was doing worse than ever. This was unacceptable, especially since both Wyldon and Chalmers knew that Joren was not stupid. There were other pages whose grades were not very impressive either, but Joren was one of the worst students Master Chalmers and the other teachers had ever seen. The training master and the school headmaster then worked on a plan to help all of the struggling pages, including Joren, improve their grades before the summer break.

* * *

Joren answered the summons to Lord Wyldon's office and wondered what the training master wanted to discuss with him. He was surprised when he had received only two hours of punishment duty after the most recent fight he had been in with the Lump. He hoped that Wyldon noticed how often she did things that brought punishment upon herself. If the training master asked him for his opinion on how the girl was doing, Joren honestly would be able to say that he did not think she 'fit in' with the males. The fights notwithstanding, he also would be able to cite several examples of the way her own year-mates did not like her either. Hope rose in Joren's heart and he walked faster down the hallway to Lord Wyldon's office - maybe this was the day he finally would get rid of the Lump.

"Sit down, Stone Mountain," Lord Wyldon said after Joren reported to him. "I want you to explain something to me. Look at this paper and then read it ... aloud ... to me."

Joren obeyed the training master and sat down in the chair offered to him, but when he saw what was written on the paper, all hope fled from him. It didn't take him very long to see that this discussion would have nothing to do with getting rid of the Lump. This was going to be all about him - him and his failing grades. Joren despised reading anything aloud and he certainly did not want to explain his abysmal class marks indicated on the paper in front of him. Unfortunately, he knew he had no choice.

"Sir, I ..." Joren began, his face turning red with shame.

"Just read what's written there," Wyldon interrupted him, bracing himself for what he knew was likely to be a painful experience for both of them.

Joren stumbled and stammered through the paragraph that summarized his poor grades. Most of his teachers stated that though Joren seemed bright enough, the majority of his written work was terribly unacceptable for a boy his age. Lord Wyldon tried not to wince or flinch at the boy's awful reading skills, but it was difficult for him to be patient and not react. Joren was completely red-faced and exasperated when he finally finished and he met the training master's cool gaze without blinking.

"What do you have to say for yourself, young man?" Wyldon asked. "Lord Burchard assured me that you studied with tutors from the university all during the summer break, but there seems to be no improvement. Can you explain these horrible marks?"

"No ... sir ... I can't," Joren answered truthfully. He did not know why it was so difficult for him to get passing grades. He never had been able to understand how to get written words and numbers to go together the right way and no amount of tutoring or badgering him seemed to help. Basically, Joren had given up and he hoped that his stellar performance on the practice yard would make up for his academic failings.

Lord Wyldon stared at the page, wondering if the boy was being pert or if there really was some deeper problem. He knew that Joren was talented with a sword or any weapon and that in the future, he would be a great asset to the realm - as long as he was on the battlefield. But he also knew that at this rate, the page would not pass the academic training to become a knight. He needed help, and he was going to get that help, whether he liked it or not.

"You sponsored the probationary page, Keladry of Mindelan, at the beginning of this year's training, yes?" he asked and Joren nodded grudgingly. "Do you recall that I had misgivings about your ability to be a good sponsor and improve your grades at the same time?

"Uh ... yes, sir." Joren wondered if he just might have an acceptable excuse in this. "I probably ... spent too much time ... working with the Lu-- uh, probationary Page Keladry. You know how ... _difficult_ the new pages can be, sir."

"Hmm. So ... you're saying that you studied with the girl ... the way a sponsor is supposed to do in the beginning?" Joren nodded again and Wyldon pursed his lips.

"Then ... can you tell me why _her _marks are some of the highest we've ever seen for a new page, while yours are ... _not_?" Wyldon's bland tone of voice did not fool Joren. He knew the man was upset and confused, but so was he.

"No, sir ... I don't understand." Joren answered, afraid that Lord Wyldon might explode at him the way his father did whenever they discussed his poor grades.

"Let me tell you something, young man," Wyldon's patience was almost at its end. "I occasionally hear gossip from a variety of sources - there are very few secrets here at the palace. I have heard that the Mindelan girl has worked on most of her assignments while sitting at a table in _your_ room, and her academic marks are quite excellent. I have not heard of _you_ helping the girl with any of her homework - and your marks are quite horrible. I find this very ... interesting."

"Sir, I ... I ..." Joren gulped. He was caught. The training master could see the evidence that he truly had not studied with the Lump during the times she came to his room. It was obvious that whatever the girl had accomplished, she had done so on her own.

"And to make matters worse," Wyldon's face was red now. "You've been _brawling _with the girl as though you have all the time in the world to improve upon your grades. You and your friends behave like a bunch of common street toughs - yet Mindelan has half-beaten you several times _and_ she continues to do well in class!"

"My lord, she ..." Joren tried to defend himself, but Wyldon cut him off again.

"Joren, be quiet!" Wyldon ordered. "I have known you since the day you were born and I've watched you develop through the years. Your father is one of my closest friends and he has been hounding me for a progress report because he knows of your weaknesses, too. Against my better judgment, I have not told him that I am _very close _to having to dismiss you from training for lack of improvement in your academic subjects. I don't want your father to be disappointed, so I'm giving you until the end of this semester to pull up your grades."

Joren could only nod his head. He knew he was in big trouble now. He would not be able to talk his way out of whatever Lord Wyldon had planned for him. Although he was grateful that the training master had not informed his father of his failing grades, a feeling of impending doom spread throughout Joren's entire being.

"Unfortunately, you're not the only student with academic difficulties." Wyldon drummed his fingers on his desk. "And since the university tutors did not seem to help _you_ very much, Master Chalmers and I have decided to try something ... different. We will be implementing a _new_ study program."

"Yessir," Joren eyes widened and he nodded. He was starting to have a bad feeling about whatever Lord Wyldon and Master Chalmers were planning to do.

"Oh, don't look so shocked. Everyone thinks I'm opposed to anything new, but that simply is not true." Lord Wyldon continued, "We've discreetly asked the better students to be prepared to tutor their classmates. The headmaster will post a roster of all students, pairing up those who are doing well in their academic studies so far with those, such as yourself, who need more help. I will not allow anyone to dispute Master Chalmers' roster - _everyone _will have an assigned study partner."

Now Joren really felt bad. He just knew he was going to be paired with someone like Queenscove or Kennan, because they were the best students in the class and Joren knew that he was one of the worst. Still, he didn't think that boys his own age would be able to help him when men from the university couldn't manage the task. Besides, it would be unbearable to have to look at either of their smug faces every evening.

"Lord Wyldon, Garvey of Runnerspring is a ... good student," Joren offered, hoping that he could persuade the training master to pair him with someone who already was familiar with his academic problems. Joren and Garvey, because of their fief names, had been sitting next to each other in class from the time they were both first-year pages. They had worked out a system whereby Garvey let Joren copy his work, in exchange for Joren buying Garvey whatever the smarter page wanted when they went into the city together. Joren _was_ correct in saying that his time with the Lump was detrimental to his grades because he had not been able to copy Garvey's homework. Perhaps his friend might help him get better marks if they could go back to their previously fabulous system.

Wyldon shook his head. "No, none of your 'fighting partners' are suitable study partners for you, Stone Mountain. Master Chalmers has made all of the assignments and I have approved them already. It is highly ... unlikely ... that you will be pleased with your ... pairing. That is one of the reasons I called you in here."

"Sir?" Joren waited to hear whatever bad news was coming his way.

"Master Chalmers has convinced me that the Mindelan girl might be able to help you." The training master raised his hand to stop Joren from saying anything. "However, I first wanted to warn you that you _must_ control yourself and not get into any more fights with her. I will not tolerate such behavior anymore."

"But ... Lord Wyldon ... she's _the Girl!_" Joren exclaimed. "She's not even supposed to be here. I thought you ..."

"She's a very _smart _girl, Stone Mountain," Wyldon said wryly. "_You __volunteered _to be the probationary page's sponsor; no one will think twice if we assign you two to study together, especially since none of the other boys will want her as a study partner, either. It's hard to believe this, but Mindelan is _willing _to help you. One of her older brothers had a ... similar ... academic record as yours. The headmaster has spoken with Keladry and she actually remembers some of the things her parents said helped her brother overcome his difficulties..."

"_What_!" Joren exclaimed. "You ... you've already spoken to her about this? She knows I'm _failing_?" Joren felt intense embarrassment and he knew that he was blushing now. He thought he may as well go back to his room and tell Spencer to start packing up his things to leave. There was no way he could face the Lump after this.

"Calm down, Joren. _Everyone _knows you're failing." Wyldon's voice became stony. "For Mithros' sake, boy, do not fail to make wise use of the resources the gods have forced upon you!"

"What about Nealan of Queenscove?" Joren sounded desperate. "Or ... or Cleon of Kennan? They're both really good students. I could ..."

"We have made our decisions," Wyldon interrupted, "and the study partner assignments will stand as written. You certainly can't do worse with the girl helping you. "

"But sir, once everyone sees the list, they'll ... they'll know. And I ... I ... _can't _..." Joren tried again to express his dismay, but the training master cut him off once more.

"You can't what? You can't understand what I'm telling you, Joren?" Lord Wyldon asked him, his voice almost sounded gentle. "There are very few options available to me and this is the best one for the time we have left. I will not allow myself any taint of favoritism, but I also cannot stand by and watch you continue to fail your academic courses. The girl might be here only for the remainder of the training year and if she can help you, then I say let her help you. You're a smart boy - you can make this work and still maintain your dignity. I don't want to have to send you home to your father, lad, but this is the last straw - your last chance. There is nothing more to discuss at this time. You are dismissed."

Joren stood up and saluted the training master before he exited the office. He started walking back to his room slowly; his mind still was in a daze. He couldn't believe how awful this day had become. Joren thought he was getting rid of the Lump, but now Lord Wyldon actually _wanted _him to work with her. Wyldon actually _assigned _the Lump to help him pull up his grades. Now he would have to figure out a way for his friends not to harass him about this terrible new development. The troubled page picked up his pace so that he could make it back to his room before anyone had the chance to pester him with stupid questions. This was beyond anything Joren could have imagined - working with the Lump was 'the last straw' for him, too.

* * *

**A/N: The plot thickens! I hunger and crave your reviews! Please don't disappoint me. ;D**


	7. Study Partners and Nothing More

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Thanks for all your reviews and your support! A lot of readers have asked if my version of Joren has dyslexia and the answer is yes. So does Kel's older brother, Conal. In my 'back story' Lady Ilane received some different learning techniques from a noted Yamani scholar and pressed her difficult son to follow them. That's why Kel knows something about helping Joren with his disability. Enjoy! :D**

_

* * *

__Joren had thought he was getting rid of the Lump, but now Lord Wyldon actually _wanted _him to work with her. Wyldon actually _assigned_ the Lump to help him pull up his grades. Joren would have to figure out a way for his friends not to know about this terrible new development. He would not be able to survive the shame. He picked up his pace so that he could make it to his room before anyone had the chance to pester him with stupid questions. This was beyond humiliating - working with the Lump was the last straw for him, too._

* * *

**Study Partners ... and Nothing More**

"Good evening, Page Keladry," said the smiling, gray-haired manservant, as he ushered Kel into Joren's chambers. "It's good to see you again. Would you care for some fruit juice?"

"Good evening, Spencer," Kel smiled at the man and nodded a greeting, "It's good to see you, too. Thank you, a cup of fruit juice would be very nice." She truly like the old servant and always was gracious to him. Spencer returned the girl's kind regard. She was much better company than his master's usual friends.

"Oh, _please_ ... stop it!" Joren glared at Kel and his servant. "The correct title for her is _'probationer'._ She'll never be a real page - no one can force Lord Wyldon to let her stay - so don't keep treating her like ... like she's one of my friends. She's just a ... we're study partners ... and nothing more!"

Joren dismissed Spencer for the evening and angrily launched himself out of his chair. Then he yanked the door all the way open and peeked out into the hallway. For three nights in a row, the headmaster had walked around the pages' dormitory area, randomly checking on everyone to ensure that they were continuing to follow his orders and studying only with their assigned partners. The new after-dinner study period routine had been in effect for over a month already and a few of the older pages had attempted to study with their friends instead. Twice during the past month, Joren had been reprimanded for being rude and uncooperative, and he did not want to give Master Chalmers any more reasons to give him extra etiquette homework. He despised being forced to apologize - in writing - to the Lump.

x-x-x-x-x

Most of the pages had accepted the headmaster's study partner assignments without much of a fuss. The biggest complaint was that the students no longer were allowed to form study groups larger than five or six people. The teachers felt that there was too much 'horseplay' and not enough studying going on in such circumstances. Each study pair consisted of a younger page and an older page. Several pairs of the third and fourth-year pages were assigned as study partners and opted to form larger groups so they could still hang out with their friends All of the first-year pages, including Kel, were paired up with their original sponsors. Master Chalmers assigned Neal to study with both Merric and Faleron, because there were an odd number of students and Faleron did not really qualify as a 'peer tutor' to his cousin because his grades weren't the best, either.

Everyone settled into their new routine fairly quickly and Joren did not have to endure the scrutiny and embarrassment he had feared. He knew that his closest friends probably understood what was going on, but they never commented on it and he never mentioned how he and Kel actually studied in the evenings. Joren definitely didn't want to be a part of a large study group because his learning difficulties would be so painfully obvious. Besides, no one else wanted the Girl in their group, anyway. Joren and Kel usually studied alone and he insisted that she always come to his room, especially since she did not have a personal servant who would bring in evening snacks or tend to the hearth.

Occasionally, Master Wyldon and Master Chalmers, as well as some of the other teachers would roam the halls and check the libraries or private rooms to see how the pages were conducting themselves during the study periods. All of their changes effectively put an end to the overtly malicious hazing that Joren and his cronies had practiced prior to everyone having assigned study partners. Kel was happy about that, especially since the bruises from her final fight with Joren had taken a long time to fade away, and everyone was tired from serving out their punishment for participating in that brawl.

Kel was not so naive as to think that Joren had stopped hazing first-year pages totally. The younger pages mysteriously tripped and fell in the hallways or suffered bruises from being pinched and jabbed as they walked to class. Sometimes she and her year-mates were late to class after an older page had sent them back for the third or fourth time to fetch some pointless item. And there always were the extra-hard hits or kicks during the morning drills in the practice yard.

Earlier that day, Joren finally had finagled his way to being paired up with Kel during their practice sparring. He tried to take out all of his frustrations on her, but was dismayed to discover that she had become better and stronger than ever with her staff. Of course, he did not know about Kel's early morning exercises or her pattern dances with her glaive. The angry page ended the morning handling his horse so roughly that the animal dumped him into a pile of manure after his third run at the tilting quintain. The only bright spot of the day was that there were no written assignments for their homework that night. Still, Joren knew that Kel would come to his room to help him practice his reading skills and he was in no mood for it.

x-x-x-x-x

"Where are those cards I made for you?" Kel asked, getting right to their work. "You know - the ones with the individual letters on them - the ones we've been using all month long?"

"I burned them - just like I burned the other set." Joren stalked back to his chair and slumped down onto it. "They're stupid!" He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her sullenly.

The first time Kel had introduced the method of learning to read by using a bunch of lettered cards to put various words together, Joren had swept all the cards off of the table and onto the floor. He accused her of using some sort of witchcraft to cloud Master Chalmer's judgment about her ability to help him. He said that she was playing childish games and he wouldn't go along with it. The headmaster had been down the hall and heard the ruckus, so he came to stand in Joren's doorway until the insolent page cooperated with Kel.

Now Kel just stared back at Joren without any expression on her face. She already had made three sets of the cards with which Joren could practice arranging and rearranging his letters and numbers, but now he had destroyed the third set. Kel's mother had written to her to warn her that when her brother, Conal, was re-learning how to read and write using this particular technique, he threw terrible tantrums until Anders, their oldest brother, had to come to the palace and beat some sense into him. Kel dearly wished she could beat some sense into Joren, but Lord Wyldon had warned both of them that there had better not be any more brawling for any reason whatsoever.

Kel sighed and took out her parchment with that day's poetry assignment neatly written out. "Fine. Then ... just read this ... aloud. Master Yayin expects us to know most of it by the end of the week anyway."

"No! This whole thing is stupid," growled the blond page. "Why should I listen to you? It's not like you're contributing to anything around here. You're just a plain, old _stupid_ girl. You're nothing but trouble!"

Kel continued to look into Joren's sky-blue eyes and wait for him to calm down. He usually threw a tantrum once or twice a week, and once he got it out of his system, it was somewhat easier for her to endure his caustic remarks and sarcasm. Unfortunately, Kel never could figure out what it was that set Joren off - some things were destined to remain shrouded in mystery.

x-x-x-x-x

The reason for Joren's ill-temperament this time was that he was angry with the females in his life - again. Just prior to supper, Joren had received a message from his father explaining that since his sister, Anniseth, had eloped during the midwinter holidays, his mother now planned to host a feast during the upcoming summer and celebrate the hasty marriage. Joren knew that this meant their previous plans for a father-and-son trip to the Yamani Islands would have to be postponed. Stone Mountain was famous for the rich deposits of marble, quartz, and granite hewn from its large quarries. They conducted a brisk trade with their international neighbors, especially Yaman, and Lord Burchard had planned to introduce his son to the real workings behind their vast wealth. Now his sister's stupidity had ruined his summer break. It did not occur to Joren that he had been able to read all the way through the message on his own and that he understood every word his father had written.

Joren sulked all throughout supper and wouldn't tell his friends what was bothering him so much. There had been a particularly delicious pastry with that evening's meal, and he wished that Kel still sat at his table so he could steal her dessert. Instead, Joren looked over to where Kel now sat with Neal and observed her eating and laughing and having a good time with her tall friend. His thoughts turned darker than ever and, for some reason, he suddenly felt like ripping out Neal's throat.

Lately, Joren had overheard some of the fourth-year pages bragging about all the romantic conquests they planned to make once they became squires at the end of April. Joren knew that some of the older boys really liked the young ladies who had been presented at Court that season, but he had never thought about girls as being anything other than nuisances. Now, as he watched Neal talking to Kel, Joren would be willing to bet that the older page only befriended the Lump so that he could have her first. After all, Queenscove _was_ old enough to care about that sort of thing.

"_Hah! Stupid girls and their stupid weddings! They're just a boatload of trouble_," Joren thought as he glared across the mess hall at Kel. "_The Lump's probably going to turn out exactly like my sister and ruin her own brothers' lives, too._"

x-x-x-x-x

"Joren, I'm only trying to help you." Kel's spoke softly, but her voice had a hard edge to it. "The cards worked for my brother, and he's a knight today because he--"

"Blah, blah, blah," Joren rudely interrupted her. "It's always 'my brother this and my brother that' with you. Well, I'm not _your_ brother, so why don't you just--"

"Is there another problem in here?" A stern voice asked from the doorway. Apparently, Lord Wyldon was 'on patrol' this evening and Joren feared he was about to get some sort of lecture now. "Probationer, is everything alright?

"We're ... fine ... my lord." Kel hated being called by that title, but she maintained her Yamani mask and answered the training master in a calm voice. "We don't really have any written assignments due tomorrow, so we're going over a ... different ... lesson, that's all."

Kel hoped Lord Wyldon would just move on to someone else's room, but she sensed that he wanted to stay and observe her and Joren's interaction for a while. Fortunately, Kel had anticipated Joren's destruction of the study cards and she had made a set that she would now keep safe for herself and bring to every study session. She spread out the cards on the table, placing the ones with vowels written on them in one neat row, the consonants in another row, and the numbers in a row beneath all the letters.

"Right. Let's begin." Kel nodded at Joren and he rolled his eyes at her. "Start with the number one and work through to number ten."

Joren walked over to the table and looked at all of the cards. He found the numeral '1' card and placed it on his desk. Then he picked up the cards with the letters 'o', 'n', 'e' and 'w', 'o', 'n' written on them, spelling out the words that sounded like the number 1. There were several duplicate cards so he was able to repeat the drill for all of the numbers up through ten. Joren glared at Kel and his body language practically shouted at her that he still thought this exercise was pointless and stupid. But then Kel mixed up all of the cards that he had so carefully placed in order on his desk.

"Now, put them back into the correct order again," Kel told him.

Joren glared at Kel before he remembered that the training master was standing there, too. The he smiled a really fake smile at her and turned to stare at his desktop for a long time. This was the hard part - when everything was jumbled up together, it was difficult for him to see the correct letters and numbers. It was so confusing! Lord Wyldon's presence in the room made him nervous, but he made himself concentrate. Tentatively, Joren started to pick up the cards and put them back into order. When he finally finished, there was sweat on his brow and he breathed a small sigh of relief. Then he noticed that Kel's hazel eyes were shining and there was the tiniest bit of a smile on her Yamani lump face.

"Sir, that's the first time Joren has gotten all of them correct on the first try," Kel's voice sounded a little excited as she addressed the training master. "It usually takes two or three times for him to get them right."

Lord Wyldon nodded and watched as Joren's face slowly turned red with anger and embarrassment. The girl didn't seem to realize that she had just shamed her study partner by trying to praise his accomplishment. The training master decided to diffuse the situation by walking over to Joren and speaking to him directly.

"Good work, Stone Mountain." Wyldon told him and clapped him on the shoulder. "But I think you've ... studied enough for one night, don't you?"

"Yes ... sir," Joren answered in a tight voice, trying to keep himself from throttling the Lump as she collected all of the cards and placed them into a cloth sack.

Lord Wyldon looked at Kel and nodded, "That will be all for tonight, Mindelan. You may be excused to return to your room. Stone Mountain, you should get some rest, too." Then he waited until the girl finished gathering up her things and followed her out into the hall. It was gratifying to the man that the upset page was able to exhibit enough self-control to _not_ slam the door after they left his room.

x-x-x-x-x

Kel immediately went to her room and prepared for bed. She knew that she truly was helping Joren get better grades since they became study partners, even though he never once displayed any appreciation for her efforts. She thought about the way Joren correctly had answered his math problems in class the previous week - without once flipping the numbers. His recitations in class were still a bit rough, but he no longer stumbled over every other word. Kel was so happy about what Joren had accomplished, especially with the cards that evening that she actually fell asleep with a smile on her face. Now she figured Lord Wyldon really would have to consider letting her stay - she had contributed to the improvement of someone else's life. After all, wasn't that a big part of what it meant to be a knight?

**

* * *

**

A/N: A big thank you to my cousin Carl for giving me some ideas for this storyline! I know that there are many forms of dyslexia, but I have imagined Joren's issues to be like my cousin's - he was a bully partially because he was so frustrated when people thought he was stupid or lazy. Different methods work for different people, but my cousin was able to function in the academic world by learning to take his time and by practicing putting words and numbers together using the same kind of flash cards Kel made for Joren. My aunt worked with Carl tirelessly and he eventually was able to do okay. He finally earned his GED (alternative to a high school diploma) and was able to get a decent job. I've condensed Joren's improvement to be nothing short of miraculous, but it is for the sake of moving the story along at a reasonable pace. Sorry for the long note, but I wanted to explain my storyline a little more without putting it into the story itself. Please R & R. Thanks! -- Ally-Marty :D


	8. TradeOffs

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I appreciate all of the reviews and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter - it's another long one! ;D **

_

* * *

_

It's all right, Kel thought. This isn't so bad.

_Then she looked down._

_Kel's ears roared; she could not catch her breath. The broad moat that passed in front of the wall was a long drop below. She heard nothing, did not feel hands prying her grip from the stone. The fear gripped her as tightly as it had on the day Conal had held her over the tower balcony. Her whole body crawled with a weak paralyzed itch. _

_... Kel thought dully as she picked up her staff. He knows I'm afraid of heights now. He can say if I'm afraid of heights, I can't keep up with the boys, and I'll be out on my ear._

_--Tamora Pierce, _First Test

**

* * *

**

Trade-Offs

All of the boys laughed and made jokes about Kel's fear of heights. During the morning on the practice court , Joren watched Kel's jaw tighten every time someone commented on the previous days events. His heart filled with glee at the thought of the Lump having such a serious flaw in her abilities. Now Lord Wyldon possessed stronger proof than ever that the girl was not fit to be a knight and he finally could make her go away. The blond page smiled all the way through lunch and into his afternoon classes. Joren even started daydreaming about the near future when the Lump and her pesky reading cards would be gone. He was so wrapped up in his own little dream world, that he did not hear Master Yayin call on him to stand and answer a question about an essay the class had just finished reading. Garvey nudged him, but it was too late. The Mithran priest walked right up to Joren's desk and glared down at him.

"Page Joren," Master Yayin spoke softly but he had an acidic tone to his voice, "since you are unable to pay attention in my class, perhaps serving an hour of detention will help you remember to stay focused next time. You will report to my office after the evening meal tonight."

Joren's face turned red with anger, but he nodded his understanding. Detention meant having no free time before his mandatory study period with the Lump and he had planned to play a new dice game with his friends after dinner. Of course, he blamed her for his new punishment - if he hadn't been thinking about the stupid Lump and her stupid cards, then he would have been able to hear the teacher calling on him. Gods, he couldn't stand her!

* * *

"Joren, would you please read that last sentence again," Kel requested, "You skipped over a few words." She really wanted them to be done and this was the final part of their homework for the evening.

Joren rolled his eyes and sighed. Then a wicked gleam came into his eyes and he drawled, "Fine. I will read all the sentences you want, if - and only if - you look out over the curtain wall again."

'That's not funny," said Kel, her face turning pale as she remembered the harrowing experience from the previous day.

"I thought it was hilarious, watching you freeze up like that!" Joren was smirking at her. "Now _everyone_ knows you really don't have what it takes to be a knight. I'm sure that Lord Wyldon must have told the king and all those people who forced you upon him - and us - that it's time for you to go home."

Joren had given voice to Kel's fears. She looked down at her homework papers and willed herself not to cry in front of her nemesis. Very quietly, she said, "You don't know that. You only _hope_ that's what will happen."

"Hah! Any moment now, you'll be dismissed," Joren felt confident and continued to antagonize Kel. "But I don't think the _convent girls _will welcome you with open arms, either. If my sister is any indication of the type of ladies the Daughters of the Goddess turn out, you'll have just as much fun there as you've had here."

Kel tightened her jaw and looked into Joren's narrowed eyes. "Well ... I'm not going anywhere _tonight_, so you may as well read the sentence again."

Joren made a rude noise, but he finally complied with her request and read the sentence. He did not make any mistakes this time. He did lean back in his chair and put his feet up on the table. The look on his face was bored, but his tone of voice was mischievous.

"There, now that that's done," he drawled, "I'm going to hold you to your end of the bargain."

"What are you talking about, Joren?" Kel was annoyed and started to gather up her belongings. "I never made any bargain with you."

"Sure you did," Joren smirked again. "I read the sentence as you requested. Therefore ... tomorrow, you will come with me after supper - that is, if you're still here - and look over the wall. I'll do what you want me to do; in return, you'll do what I want you to do. It's a trade-off."

"I _never_ agreed to any such thing!" Kel insisted, knowing that there was _no way_ she was going to look over the edge of that wall again any time soon.

"Well, I _did_ read the sentence, so now you owe me." Joren was just as insistent. "Would you rather that I inform Lord Wyldon that, among all of your other flaws, you also cheat out on your obligations?"

"Stop it, Joren!" Kel was angry now. "My ... problems ... with heights have absolutely nothing to do with you finishing your homework."

"That may be so," he admitted, "But I rather think the idea of having trade-offs with you is a good one. So ..." Joren got up from his chair and sauntered over to the open doorway. Then he peered over his shoulder at Kel and casually asked, "Do you think Lord Wyldon will come to my room if I yell his name into the hallway?"

"Alright!" Kel snapped at him. "I'll do it this time, but we do _not_ have an ongoing agreement." Thinking quickly, she added through her clenched teeth, "I don't invite other people to watch you do your homework, so there'd better not be an audience to watch me do this!"

Joren's smile was wolfish. "It probably won't matter anyway, because you're going to be dismissed soon enough." He walked back toward Kel until his face was inches from hers. "But tomorrow after supper, you'd better not chicken out on me."

Kel silently walked around Joren without looking at him and exited his room. She was so upset that she performed two extra pattern dances before she felt calm enough to go to bed. As she fell asleep, Kel offered up prayers to the Goddess to keep her safe and to keep her from making more of a fool of herself than she already had done the previous day. Unfortunately, the girl page did not get a good night's rest.

* * *

"Closer ... you've got to get closer!" Joren urged as Kel took tiny, shuffling steps toward the palace's curtain wall. The blond page was tired of waiting for the girl to get close enough to the wall to look over the edge. At first, he had not planned to rush her, but they had been outside for more than half a bell and it soon would be time to go back in for their study period. The wind had picked up and it was starting to get chilly as the sun sank below a bank of clouds in the western sky. Finally he barked, "Come on, Lump, we don't have all night!"

"Stop calling me that!" Kel turned back to yell at him. "My name is _Keladry of_ _Mindelan_! I'm tired of hearing you and your friends calling me the Lump! You even have some of my own year-mates calling me that behind my back - and that isn't right!"

"So? What are you going to do about it, _Lump_?" Joren taunted, his patience wearing thin. "Are you going to hit me?"

"No, I won't!" Kel exclaimed. "You know ... what Lord Wyldon ... said about ... us fighting." She was gulping down big breaths of air to try to calm herself enough to finish her task.

"I guess I _could _address you by your fief name." Joren conceded. Then his voice turned mean and harsh. "Come on, _Mindelan_ - you're stalling. You'd best get up next to that wall and look down. Right now!"

"I ... I'm getting there," Kel insisted as she took another small step closer to the wall.

Joren suddenly lost what little remained of his patience, grabbed Kel by the shoulders and steered her to the edge of the wall. He shook her hard and told her to open her eyes and look down. She let out a small yelp as her vision blurred and her stomach lurched disagreeably.

"What you're feeling now," he growled into her ear, "is what I feel every time I have to stand up in class and read aloud." He tightened his grip and shook her shoulders again. "Great, isn't it?"

"Oh ... no," Kel moaned. Then she quickly broke out of Joren's hold, turned away from the view and vomited. Joren tried to jump back, but he wasn't quick enough and some of the contents of Kel's stomach splashed onto the front of his tunic and his shoes. He had to fight to keep from becoming sick over the smell of it, too.

"That's ... just ... _great_," Joren snarled sarcastically as Kel knelt next to the wall and continued to wretch. "Stupid girl! Why couldn't you remember to throw up over the side of the wall? You know, the way Lord Wyldon told us to do? Mithros! What a mess!"

Joren could see that Kel was in no shape to answer him, so he shook his head in disgust and stomped off toward the stairs.

"I take it this means I don't have to read sentences to you tonight," Joren turned back and sneered at her. "I'll just let the training master know that you are ... indisposed." Then he clomped down the stairs and left Kel by herself.

When she saw that he was gone, Kel allowed herself to cry the hot tears of shame that she had held back before. Eventually, she was able to stand up on her shaky legs and hold on to the inner wall for support. Kel thanked the Goddess that no one else saw her as she slowly made her way back to her room. At that moment, she didn't care if Joren told Lord Wyldon about her latest failure. All Kel could do was clean up the mess, bathe, and get ready for bed.

* * *

The next morning, Kel wasn't paying attention during their staff drills and Joren was able to position himself as her sparring partner. The handsome blond page looked very smug and self-assured. Kel regarded him coolly from behind her stoic Yamani mask.

"You look ... better ... than the last time I saw you ... _Mindelan_." Joren remarked in a polite tone of voice as their staffs clacked against one another. "See there? How am I not supposed to call you the Lump when you present a face like that?"

Kel did not reply to Joren; she merely followed the orders of the Shang warriors as they put the pages through their morning drills. She matched him strike for block and block for strike. She never let him gain an advantage over her, and he never let up. Kel was glad when it was time to switch to archery. She went through all of her morning classes mechanically. Even Neal couldn't get her to smile. All day long, Kel waited for Lord Wyldon to call her name and tell her to pack her things and go home. She was sure that Joren must have told him about the incident on the wall, but the training master said nothing out of the ordinary to her.

That evening, when Kel knocked on Joren's door for study period, the blond page opened it instead of Spencer. Kel raised an eyebrow and Joren shrugged as he ushered her in. He explained to her that he had sent his servant into town to pick up a new tunic and new shoes to replace the ones that got ruined the previous night. Kel nodded dejectedly, sat down at the table and sighed tiredly.

"Joren, we ... we have to ... talk," Kel began slowly. "I ... I'm sorry I didn't realize ... I didn't realize how bad you felt when you ... when you had to recite your lessons in front of everybody." She sighed again and her shoulders slumped. "I'm also sorry about ... about your tunic and shoes."

Joren actually smiled a little and sat down in the chair at his desk. "I don't know why, but I think I believe you, Mindelan. And I accept your apology."

Kel looked at him with tired and dull hazel eyes. "What did Lord Wyldon say when you told him?"

"I don't know," Joren shrugged. "I didn't tell him."

"What?" Kel exclaimed. "Why are you toying with me, Joren? Is this some sort of cruel joke to you?"

Kel had lost control of her calm mask, and Joren found the show of emotion on her face very intriguing. He had discovered during their study times together that Kel's eyes became more green than brown when she was angry or excited. Right now there was only a thin ring of brown around the outer edges of her irises. Joren smiled widely, which only seemed to irritate Kel more and he watched as her eyes seemed to come to life with her anger.

"No, this is not a joke," he admitted. "I just didn't feel like walking around with vomit all over my clothes, trying to find his lordship, so I came back here and Spencer helped me clean up." Joren stopped smiling and spoke very directly to Kel, his sky-blue eyes became serious. "The way I figure it, we've had _almost_ enough trade-offs. I don't want to read tonight, and I'm certain that you don't want to visit the wall again tomorrow. That's a good trade-off, don't you agree? And since Lord Wyldon hasn't sent you home yet, I just wanted you to know how it feels to be me sometimes."

Kel looked at Joren quizzically. She didn't understand what he meant, but he didn't let her interrupt him with any questions.

"You're always so _smug_ with the way you can read your assignments and calculate your math problems and all." Now Joren sounded bitter. "I know Master Chalmers and some of the other teachers look at me as though I'm supposed to be grateful or something for all your help, but I'm tired of it. I'm at my best out there with a sword or staff in my hand, but I'm _never_ going to like to read or write. If my grades are good enough for Lord Wyldon and if I pass my exams in April, I won't have to put up with this studying anymore."

Kel blinked. This was the longest speech she had ever heard from Joren. He truly sounded sincere and she thought she could understand his point of view. She hadn't meant to be smug or to act superior, but apparently he felt that she had done so. And if Joren really did feel sick when he had to recite his lessons in class, she felt sorry for him. Now she had an idea of what he had been experiencing since he came to the palace. Still, that did not excuse his actions on the curtain wall.

"What about next year? And your squire years after that?" Kel asked quietly and Joren noticed that her eyes had changed back to more of a brownish-hazel since she was calmer now and she looked like her old Lump-faced self again.

"Are you ... _concerned_ about me, Mindelan?" Joren asked incredulously. "We both know _you_ won't be here next year anyway, so what does it matter to you? I have friends who'll help me. I'll get by - I always have before."

"Do you honestly think you're ready for those tests?" Kel was irritated by his arrogance, but this time she held on to her Yamani blank face. "What do you think will happen when the examiners require you to read from some long poem? Or when you have to stand there and explain your calculations?"

Now it was Joren's turn to be irritated. "What do _you_ know about the exams? I've been through them twice already and they're much, much easier than _anything_ we've done in class so far this year. If Wyldon allows you to take them - and I hope he won't - you'll see what I mean. And as far as my grades are concerned, I would have to fail _everything_ for the next two weeks to not pass my classes and you know it!"

"But Joren, you shouldn't just stop studying," Kel almost sounded like she was pleading with him. "If you don't practice, you'll lose all the skills you've gained so far."

"I never said I wouldn't study or practice," Joren answered her slowly and carefully. "I just don't want ... to have to study ... with you anymore. So ... here's what I _really_ think should be our final trade-off: I _won't_ tell Wyldon about the wall, and in return, you _will_ tell Wyldon - and Master Chalmers - you think my studies have improved so much that we shouldn't have to spend every evening working on my ... problems. What do you think about that?"

Kel looked up at the ceiling and pondered Joren's proposition. It actually made sense in a weird sort of way. He really had shown a lot of improvement in their classes, so it wouldn't be too difficult to convince the training master and the headmaster to allow them to not study together all the time. Kel did not like 'making a deal with a demon' but she also was tired of Joren and his attitudes. Finally, she met his gaze again and nodded her agreement.

"But only on nights when we don't have any homework," she added quickly, "I think they'll agree to that without any questions."

"Then we're agreed?" Joren held out his hand and Kel clasped it to seal their deal.

For a brief moment, the rivals had a normal handshake, but then it turned into a contest of 'hardest handshake' and they both winced as they crushed each other's fingers. Finally, as Kel and Joren looked at each other through narrowed eyes, they released their hands simultaneously. Kel used her uncrushed hand to pick up her books and things and left Joren's room. He watched her go, torn between his feeling that he should thank her and his feeling that he hoped she would just get kicked out. Then Joren closed the door and opened his desk drawer, took out the set of lettered and numbered cards that he had painstakingly made for himself and began to study on his own.

All of the pages, including Kel and Joren, passed their exams at the end of April. Many boys were not happy that Kel passed every test without difficulty, but everyone was extremely glad not to have to study so much anymore. The rivals generally stayed out of each other's way while they prepared to depart for their summer camp. Joren especially enjoyed visiting with his old group of friends in the evenings after supper, and Kel spent more time with Neal, as well as some of her other friends.

* * *

On the night before the pages departed the palace for their exciting and successful summer camping trip, Joren discovered a small leather-bound book lying on his desk. It was an old volume from the palace library about the art of sword craft, filled with illustrations and stories about fabled swords and the warriors who once wielded them. Joren had never seen it before and he wondered who would leave him such a thing. Of course, he did have an idea of who would give him an _interesting_ book to read during the summer break, but he refused to think about it much, especially once they all returned from camp and heard that Lord Wyldon would allow the girl to return in the autumn. Joren reluctantly retrieved the volume from his desk, stuffed it into his baggage, and took it home with him to Stone Mountain. Never before, had Joren read a book on his own for no other reason than to enjoy its contents. This promised to be a _different_ kind of summer.

**

* * *

**

A/N: So ... let me know what you think. I promise to respond to every verified review of this chapter! :D


	9. Awareness

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I love all the reviews - thank you so much! This chapter came about because I was wondering what would make Lord Wyldon say the things he said about girls and their development when Kel's parents dropped her off at the palace and again at the end of Kel's probationary year. What did **_**he**_** know about girls and how did he come by such knowledge? Really, the man had spent more than a decade training boys and young men, so what gave him the right to pass judgment on the way Kel **_**might**_** behave? Later, TP revealed that Wyldon had several daughters, and that his youngest, Margarry, eventually marries Owen of Jesslaw. So I thought, 'Aha! **_**That's **_**where the guy got his notions.' ... and this chapter was born. Enjoy! :D**

_

* * *

_

"I want you to listen to me. I speak to you as I would speak to

my_ daughters."_

_Kel blinked at him, startled. She supposed she knew that Lord Wyldon had a wife and a family, but she had forgotten it. It was hard to imagine him with any life other than that of training master to the pages and the squires._

_"Now that you have made your point, consider the future. Soon your body will change. The things that you will want from life as a maiden will change. Pursue the course you have, and you might be crippled by an accident." He looked at his right arm and smiled crookedly. "What if you fall in love? What if you come to grief, or cause others to do so, because your thoughts are on your heart and not combat? This year was the easiest."_

_You think so? she asked him silently. It wasn't _your_ year, was it? She opened her mouth to reply._

_"Not now," he said, raising his hand. "Do not answer me now. Go home and think about it ... Should you desire to return at the end of September, you may do so. I hope that you will choose otherwise."_

_--Tamora Pierce, __First Test_

**

* * *

**

Awareness

The late summer sky over Tortall's northeastern mountain ranges was a clear, bright blue and the mountain air smelled clean after the previous day's rainstorms. Lord Wyldon of Cavall and his wife, Lady Vivienne, and the youngest of their four daughters, six-year-old Margarry, were attending a feast at Fief Stone Mountain to celebrate the marriage of Lord Burchard's daughter, Anniseth. The Lady of Cavall had insisted that at least part of their family attend the feast, if only as a show of support for the bride, whom she loved as one of her own daughters.

Lady Vivienne was Anniseth's godsmother and she had been a close friend of Lord Burchard's first wife, Lady Cordelia. She was not at all close to Lady Virryn, Burchard's current wife, and Wyldon had distanced himself from Burchard in the years since Joren was born. Vivienne blamed Burchard both for Cordelia's broken-hearted death and for Anniseth's subsequent wildness and difficulties. The handsome Lord of Stone Mountain was well-known as a serial womanizer and the stoic Lord of Cavall had very little tolerance for the man's philandering ways - he did not trust his old friend around his wife.

The Lord and Lady of Cavall had made the journey into a sort of business trip by bringing a pair of horses and two prized wolfhounds to Stone Mountain. They were well-known throughout the realm for breeding some of the best horses and hunting hounds in the Eastern Lands. Noblemen from Maren and Galla were frequent customers. Many Tortallan knights rode Cavall destriers, specially-trained war horses which were valuable battlefield weapons all by themselves.

Although Lord Wyldon was quite talented with the animals, it was his wife, Lady Vivienne who had a touch of wild magic with them. She 'knew' instinctively which mare or bitch to breed with which stallion or stud, and the strength of their lines was proof of her abilities and knowledge. Vivienne was the one who handled the day-to-day management of the Cavall stables and kennels, especially since Wyldon's duties as the Royal Training Master kept him at the palace most of the year.

Lord Burchard, who purchased animals exclusively from Cavall, was very pleased with the selections Wyldon and Vivienne had made. One of the horses, a gorgeous bay from a very strong line, was to become Joren's new charger. Wyldon was certain that this animal would be a much better match for the page than the lad's current mount. Joren's father was giving the horse to him as a 'consolation present' for them not going on their previously planned trip to Yaman. The other horse, a roan gelding, was one of Burchard's wedding presents for the newly married couple - Anniseth had eloped with a young nobleman from Maren who had been an emissary from his country to the Tortallan Court. The wolfhounds were the House of Cavall's gift to the newlyweds.

"Wyldon, old friend! And Lady Vivienne - the gods have smiled upon my House today!" Lord Burchard sauntered over and clapped him on the shoulder as he reached for Lady Vivienne's hand to kiss it. "You're looking lovely, as usual, dear lady. I'm so pleased that you could be here to celebrate this momentous occasion with us."

"Congratulations, Lord Burchard," Lady Vivienne said politely, "We understand that your new son-in-law is a nobleman from Maren. Will he be taking Anniseth back to his country soon?" She barely kept the contempt she felt for the man from escaping her lips.

"Yes ... but I thought my daughter informed you of her plans," Burchard sounded slightly puzzled. "That's the whole reason for us having this celebration now - they'll be leaving for Maren in two days. Anniseth's husband wants to get through the mountains before the snows arrive. I can't say that I blame him, but I certainly will miss my daughter. Who knows when we'll see her again?"

Wyldon knew that his wife was not fooled by Burchard's show of fatherly care - everyone in their social circle knew that the Lord of Stone Mountain and his oldest child barely spoke to one another. One of the reasons the girl had eloped during the most recent Midwinter holidays was to rebel against her father's choice of a suitable marriage for her. Burchard had wanted Anniseth to marry an older nobleman whose family was listed in the Book of Gold. The young lady refused to submit to her father's will, choosing instead to elope with the young Marenite dignitary, Lord Fenton of Trenell. When Burchard spoke of missing his daughter, Wyldon felt his wife's posture stiffen at hearing such an untruth, so he wisely steered the conversation in a different direction.

"What are Joren's plans for the remainder of his summer break?" Wyldon asked. "I only spoke with him briefly when he came out to meet his new horse."

"Yes, Joren seemed to get along well with Shadow Dancer." Vivienne added coolly. "We encouraged your son to ride every day; the more he rides, the stronger the bond with his mount will be."

"I'd say Joren's having a _much _better summer than last year. I will make sure that Joren follows your advice - we'll go riding together every day until it's time for him to return south." Burchard said confidently. "By the way, Wyldon, I must say that I am impressed that you were able to motivate my boy to improve his grades. I thought I was going to have to hire tutors again, but Joren's grades were sufficient this time. Surprisingly, he has been reading a book from the palace library - it's about swords or some such. Did you give that to him?"

Wyldon was about to reply when he felt a tug on his tunic. He looked down at his daughter, who was pointing in the direction of the opposite corner of the great hall.

"Papa, Papa, look over there!" A chirpy little voice said. "There's a whole bunch of girls in heat followin' Joren around like he was a st--"

"Margarry, stop! Don't say another word," Wyldon interrupted. He looked at his wife and sighed. No matter how many times Wyldon warned his daughter not to use 'kennel talk' away from home, the little girl just couldn't help herself.

The youngest Cavall looked very cute and innocent in her cream-colored flower girl dress, but her language was quite mature for her six years. With her large brown eyes and dark brown hair, Margarry was a miniature double of her mother and Wyldon suspected that the girl also had inherited some of his wife's 'magic' with the animals. She spent every possible moment following her mother around the kennels and stables like a shadow. Now Vivienne took Margarry by the hand and led her away from Wyldon and Burchard with a promise of walking in the gardens to see the pretty flowers.

Lord Burchard made no attempt to stifle his laughter at the little girl's comment - in fact, he seemed rather pleased by what he had heard. Now Wyldon turned his attention to the corner of the great hall where Margarry had been pointing out her observation. Sure enough, there was a small group of young ladies, probably aged between twelve and fifteen, who were gathered around the beautiful blond-haired, blue-eyed heir of Stone Mountain. Joren's cheeks were a bright pink, but he appeared to be enjoying the girls' fawning and flirting. Burchard nudged Wyldon in the ribs and started talking about his son.

"I believe you asked about my boy's plans for the rest of the summer. I think it's quite obvious, don't you? Look at them - they're all swarming to Joren like bees to honey," Burchard boasted. "I took him to 'Lady Loelle's' to celebrate his fourteenth birthday and now all the lad thinks about is, well, you know." Then he winked at Wyldon and chuckled lightly.

"You ... you took Joren to _'Lady Loelle's'_?" Wyldon tried not to let his voice show his indignation. 'Lady Loelle's' was a well-established, very exclusive 'gentlemen's club' which catered to the very wealthy and the very powerful in Corus. There was an old tradition of noblemen taking their sons to visit the 'ladies' of the establishment when they came of age, but usually after becoming squires. Wyldon was irritated by the idea that Burchard had 'initiated' Joren while the boy was still a page.

"Oh, don't be such a fusspot, Wyldon." Burchard was smirking and he nodded toward his son. "It's perfectly all right - as you can see, Joren barely has an awareness of what to do with girls right now. It takes practice for young men to learn how to court the ladies the way they want to be courted. Surely you 'tested the waters' a bit before you and Vivienne were married." Then he winked and nudged Wyldon again.

"I beg your pard--" Wyldon tried to protest Burchard's crassness. Vivienne was the only woman with whom Wyldon had ever shared his bed and he intended to say something about the importance of chivalry and respect for young noble ladies, but Burchard kept talking.

"And if my godsson, Paxton, takes Joren on as his squire next summer, they'll be down in the southern dessert for the better part of the year. You know how the Bazhir wrap their women in cloth from head to foot." Burchard winked at Wyldon again. "I had to take care of my son _this_ year or else he'd be woefully behind his peers.''

Wyldon considered the source of this distasteful conversation and did not reply. He merely tucked away the knowledge that - thanks to his father's loose morals - Page Joren now had an awareness of girls which would necessitate a serious discussion with the lad when he returned to the palace at the end of August. Usually, the training master only gave the squires stern talks about their honorable responsibilities toward females, both noble and common born.

Most pages were too young to care about girls - they either were afraid of them or they just didn't like them at all - yet. There always were a few 'early bloomers' among the older pages and Wyldon considered it his moral obligation to speak to them as soon they became fully aware of the opposite sex. He would have to watch out for Joren the same way he watched out for the squires - and if the Mindelan girl returned, he'd have to watch _all_ of his pages more closely.

Lord Wyldon sighed. Now he was doubly glad he had left his other daughters back at Cavall. Actually, the oldest girl, fifteen-year-old Odette, who would complete her studies at the convent school by the end of the year, was visiting Vivienne's parents for the summer. Wyldon knew, however, that his thirteen-year-old Celine and twelve-year-old Cordelia would have been 'swarming' around Joren with the other 'boy-crazy' girls. The training master was not naïve. Vivienne recently reported to him that she had decided to give pregnancy charms to all three of their older daughters. Just like Margarry, all of the Cavall children spent a lot of time in the kennels and stables and they were very aware of fertility cycles and mating and such. The worried parents hoped their girls would refrain from 'testing their knowledge' on their suitors, but they didn't want to take any chances since they all were young women now.

In Wyldon's opinion, boys could go only as far as the girls were willing to let them go, so it was vitally important to keep them away from each other at this age - especially while the girls were still in training to become young ladies at the convent. The daughters of Lord Wyldon of Cavall knew that they would not be allowed to set foot inside the palace until they were _completely_ finished with their convent training - and then, only under the watchful eyes of their ever-vigilant father. What they didn't know was that their father had made a very firm decision, during his conversation with Lord Burchard, that _none_ of his daughters would be allowed anywhere near the dangerously attractive Joren of Stone Mountain.

Lord Wyldon excused himself from Burchard's company to find Vivienne and Margarry. He smiled when he caught up to them in the garden; they were watching butterflies flitting around the late summer blooms. He was so glad to have one little girl still, even if she was wise beyond her years. His smile faded when he remembered the vision of Joren surrounded by all those girls. His head ached at the thought of a similar scene with his male pages swarming around their only female classmate. That was one of the main reasons the training master had been so vehemently opposed to the Mindelan girl trying to become a knight. He knew that one day Keladry would become 'boy-crazy' because all girls eventually succumbed to the madness - and he dreaded the consequences once that happened.

Wyldon had seen the change with each of his older daughters: they were relatively sane girls until about the age of eleven, but as soon as they began to develop into young women, the craziness set in. He was convinced that there were some very good reasons for sending the boys to the palace and the girls to the convent when they reached the age of ten - the main reason being to keep them separated until the Daughters of the Goddess had trained the girls to keep their passions under control. Even a little awareness of the opposite sex was a dangerous thing. Lord Wyldon hoped against all hope that the Baron of Mindelan would be able to convince his trail-blazing daughter to give up her quest for knighthood before something terrible happened.

* * *

Baron Piers of Mindelan sat at the head of the dining room table and lovingly observed his three younger daughters while they ate their supper together. His wife, Lady Ilane, was having supper at the palace with the queen, but Piers felt blessed to have his lovely girls all to himself for the evening. Seventeen-year-old Adalia was dainty, ate very little food, and spoke with a voice as melodious as her mother's. Sixteen-year-old Oranie had a fair appetite, a sharp tongue and never could master the Yamani way of hiding her emotions. She was not as small as her older sister, but she never would be taller than her father. And then there was eleven-year-old Keladry, who ate every scrap of food on her plate. She looked the most like her father, but it was obvious that his youngest daughter had inherited her mother's height. The Baron of Mindelan was most proud of his youngest daughter's accomplishments so far, and looked forward to supporting her historic quest for knighthood.

Sir Piers chuckled softly when Adie and Orie, who recently had completed their studies at the convent, chattered on about their latest crushes. He was extremely happy that his older daughters, Patricine and Demadina, were safely married, and he was excited about presenting the next two girls to the Court during the upcoming Midwinter season. Piers also was glad to be in Corus to take Kel back to the palace in a few days to continue her training. Originally, he and Ilane were supposed to be on their way back to Yaman, but their trip was cancelled due to a devastating earthquake in that country. The proud father finished his meal and excused himself from the table, but he still could hear bits of the girls' conversation drift into his study.

"Who do you like the _very_ best, Adie?" Orie asked her sister as she passed her half-eaten supper to the house servant. "Is it the Nond boy today, or Demadina's brother-in-law, the youngest haMinch? Both of them are quite handsome."

"Oh, it's definitely Merovec of Nond!" Adie answered enthusiastically. "I think he really likes me, too. The only problem is that the old Nond matriarch is such a terror - she's frightened away every other girl Merovec has considered so far. Not to mention, the Nonds are quite conservative, too."

Both Adie and Orie looked sidelong at Kel, who was still eating. Then Orie passed out her plate and sniffed at Kel, "Perhaps you should slow down on the food, _little_ sister. Papa had to buy those new dresses for you because you're too big for our hand-me-downs. If you keep eating like that, you'll soon resemble a log in a dress."

"Think about it, Kel, if you're sweet on any of those boys you train with," Adie advised in a serious tone, "you'll want them to notice you as a girl and not as just another page."

"I'm in no danger of that, I assure you," Kel replied dryly. "They all know I'm a girl and they keep trying to make me wish I wasn't one."

"Perhaps that's for the best," giggled Orie. "There's probably a nice little man somewhere in Tortall who's hoping for a big strong lady knight to rescue him and carry him off on her mighty steed. If he's out there, I'm sure he'll wait for our Kel."

Kel had become accustomed to such comments from her sisters and sisters-in-law, but she was tired of everyone assuming that she actually liked the boys and saw her training as a way to get close to them. She rolled her eyes and casually regarded her sisters with disdain when they continued to ask her if she liked any of her classmates in a romantic way. Clearly, the female page was not interested in the males as anything other than comrades, especially since so many of the boys had been quite mean to her during her probationary year. It's just that her sisters wouldn't stop teasing her about it.

Piers continued to listen in on the girls' chatter, and he was relieved when Adie and Orie stopped pestering Kel and started talking about their own romantic possibilities. The career diplomat considered his daughters' awareness of the available young men at court quite remarkable, even though he didn't recognize several of the names they mentioned. He sighed as he heard Kel excuse herself from the table and again as he saw her walk slowly past his open door. Baron Piers loved all five of his girls equally, but he had a special place in his heart for his brave, not-so-little page and wished her all the luck in the world. He was certain that she would need it.

**

* * *

**

A/N: Well, that's my 'character development' chapter for Lord Wyldon - with a bit of the Stone Mountain and Mindelan clans thrown in for good measure. I hope I didn't bore you too much with all the details. TP has written him as a stiff, chauvinistic prig - and I still agree with her - but I just wanted to figure out more of a background for the enigmatic man. Trust me; it was important to put this chapter in here for future plot points. Next up - on to the second year! Please keep reading and reviewing. Thanks! :D


	10. Many Unhappy Returns

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Thanks again for the lovely reviews - they make me want to write more and to write faster. This is one of my super huge chapters. I could have broken it up into smaller chunks, but I've been doing a little writing exercise involving parallel POVs of different events. I think the effect would be lost if I separated them, so you all get this long chappie to read. Anyway, please let me know what you think of this technique. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Kel sighed. She and Joren had not gotten on during her first year as a probationer. She'd hoped that would change now that she was a true page. If Joren was to be punished on her account, she didn't think it would improve his feelings about her ... Well, I've only one more year with him, Kel thought as Lord Wyldon finished cleaning his plate. After he takes his big examination, he'll be a squire and gone most of the year._

_Lord Wyldon drained his cup and set it down sharply. His dark eyes, as hard as flint, inspected first Joren, then Kel. Did he regret that he had allowed her to stay? Kel wondered for the thousandth time. Over the summer she had learned that last year the betting among the servants had been twenty to one against Lord Wyldon's allowing her to enter her second year ... _

_"Joren of Stone Mountain, I will have a two-page essay on good manners by Sunday evening," he said. ... "Keladry of Mindelan, for your lateness, you will labor in the pages' armory for one bell of time on Sunday afternoon." It was the standard punishment, no more and no less than he gave any other page for tardiness. _

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

**Many Unhappy Returns**

Kel's P.O.V.

"_Oh well,_" thought Kel, "_I guess that's the end of that_." The punishment that Lord Wyldon had given to Joren for being rude was the worst possible for him - he hated to write. Whatever small bit of kindness she had felt from the handsome page was definitely a thing of the past. There was no way Joren would want to be anywhere near her now - and perhaps that was for the best anyway.

Kel thought about the tenuous new beginnings she had had with both Lord Wyldon and with Joren on the first day they had seen each other back at the palace. Pages were allowed to return to the palace as early as two days prior to the official beginning of training, so Kel had taken the opportunity to resettle into her old rooms before the majority of the boys returned from their summer break. Her father, Baron Piers, had escorted Kel to Lord Wyldon's office. The diplomat and his daughter both kept their faces Yamani calm as they waited for the training master to speak. Their conversation had been very brief.

"So, Keladry of Mindelan, you've decided to continue with the training here," Wyldon said, his face as unreadable as theirs, and then he turned to her father. "And you have no intention of dissuading her from doing this, Baron Piers?"

"None whatsoever, sir." Sir Piers' serious gaze never wavered. "My wife and I support our daughter's goals. In fact, our whole family wishes Keladry all the best."

"Then let's get started, Page Keladry." Wyldon rose from his chair and gestured to the door. "This year will not be any easier than your first year; in fact, it will be much more difficult. Say your farewells and then report to the palace tanner to be fitted with a leather training harness. I am certain that the housekeeping servants will have aired out your rooms by the time you return from the stables. Do you have any questions?"

"No, my lord," Kel answered confidently. She and her father already were standing, so they went to the same room where she had begun her previous year's journey and hugged goodbye. This time, Kel felt ready and excited to begin the new training year as a _real _page.

x-x-x-x-x

When Kel went to the mess hall that evening for her first supper back at the palace, she only saw a few familiar faces, and none of them were her friends from the previous year. She noticed the surprised looks on many of the food servers' faces and wondered if any of them had lost a lot of money by betting against her return. Kel nearly jumped out of her skin when a very familiar voice behind her spoke quietly into her ear.

"I'd heard that Lord Wyldon let you come back." It was Joren's drawl, but there was a subtle difference in its tone that Kel couldn't quite place. It sent an odd shiver down her spine as he continued. "I suppose that I should take this opportunity to thank you for the book about swords. It was ... very good. Oh, and I've already returned it to the palace library for you."

Kel slowly turned to look at him - Joren was still the most beautiful boy she had ever seen, but he somehow looked ... different. His hair was still white-blond and his eyes were still sky-blue and yet, there was something about him that made her take in a quick breath. Suddenly, she felt strange standing so close to him and she instinctively took a step back to put some space in between them. The corner of Joren's mouth twitched into the slightest bit of a smile and Kel wondered what was so funny. She didn't have time to figure it out because Zahir ibn Alhaz, Joren's best friend, walked up behind him with his full supper tray.

"Come on, Joren," Zahir nudged him. "Vinson is saving a table for us over by the window." Then the regal-looking Bazhir noticed Kel - she had not worn a dress this evening - and he scoffed at her. "This one still needs proper clothes and a veil. She'll never _truly_ be one of us." Then he turned and walked away. Joren merely shrugged his shoulders and followed Zahir to their table.

Kel found an empty table and sat down to enjoy her meal in relative peace and quiet. She figured that this was probably the last time she would be able to eat by herself like this, especially since all of the pages were required to report to the palace by the following day. On a whim, Kel casually glanced over to where Joren and his friends were sitting. Joren's blue-eyed gaze was upon her for a moment, but he looked away just as quickly.

"May I sit here?" asked a different, but very polite and familiar voice which interrupted her thoughts.

Kel looked up and smiled at Prince Roald, "Certainly, your highness! It's good to see you again. How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you. And it's ... good to see you, too." the extremely polite Crown Prince smiled back at Kel and settled in across the table from her. "I wanted to thank you for your kind and thoughtful letter after the ... bad news. I think you're the only one of my friends who really understands what happened."

Roald was referring to a letter of condolence that Kel had written to him during the summer. It was after the Yamani ambassador informed her father of the tragic death of Princess Chisakami, who had been betrothed to the prince. Even though they never met in person, the couple exchanged polite letters and Roald had tried to develop some feelings for his foreign bride. Now Kel's father was handling the new negotiations for a different betrothal agreement between the Tortallan and Yamani royal lines. Kel felt compassion for the prince, but she knew that Roald understood his duties to the realm. She just hoped that the next bride would be a good match for her serious friend.

"Have you seen anyone else yet?" Kel asked, referring to their close group of friends from last year. She did not want to linger on the topic of the dead princess. "I know _some_ people will be surprised to see me again."

Now Roald laughed. "Kel, that's an understatement and you know it! Several of my fellow fourth-year pages already are distressed to see your lovely face among us again - especially since you currently aren't sporting any black eyes or busted lips from brawling." He briefly glanced at Joren and Zahir's table and shook his head ever so slightly. When Roald turned back to face Kel, his sapphire-blue eyes were shining and he was smiling shyly at her.

Kel blushed and felt a bit strange again. Had the prince just referred to her face as _lovely_? Obviously, Kel thought, she had been listening to her sisters' silly talk about boys for too long. Surely Roald meant it as part of his overall comic remark about her lack of battle bruises. Kel push the silly thoughts out of her mind and focused on eating her supper. She had decided that she was too young and too busy to worry about boys right now - maybe ever. Besides, even if the prince liked her more than a tiny bit, theirs would be a casual friendship only because, as Kel knew better than any of their friends, Roald was promised to Yaman.

Kel had not seen Joren slyly watching her when she turned in her empty tray and left the mess hall. She hadn't seen the slight grin on his face. She wasn't aware that Joren now was very aware of her - as a female and not just someone against whom he could and should fight. Kel most definitely was not aware that when she had turned to look at him in the serving line, Joren had seen quite clearly that her dreamer's hazel eyes had been mostly green.

x-x-x-x-x

Now, since Lord Wyldon had issued Kel punishment for being late to the midday meal and then punished Joren for making impolitely loud remarks about her tardiness, Kel decided she would have to be on guard against retaliation from her once-former nemesis. She knew that the blond page blamed her for most of his problems, even though it was his own mouth that got him into trouble. Still, she was glad to know that Joren had enjoyed his summer reading and she was pleased that Lord Wyldon had treated her fairly - so far.

* * *

_Wyldon drummed his fingers on his desk. Finally, he said, "Owen of Jesslaw, you have made a very poor start. You will report to Osgar Woodrow at the forge outside the squires' armory for the first bell of time every night after supper for a week. You may cool your passions by sharpening swords." His brown eyes locked on Kel, "As for you Mindelan - report to Stefan Groomsman at the same hour. He is to find you work pitching hay down from the stable lofts."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Joren's P.O.V.

"_Oh well,_" thought Joren, "_That's the end of that_." The punishment that Lord Wyldon had given to Kel for brawling in the hallway was the worst possible for her - the girl was very afraid of heights. "_Serves her right. Mindelan never should've returned to the palace and she never should've interfered in my business. Hazing is a time-honored tradition and no one's going to stop just because _she_ objects to it. Stupid, stupid girl!" _Joren stomped back to his rooms in the worst of moods and slammed his door shut. Now, the Lump was his enemy again and Joren was more committed than ever to making her quit.

Joren thought about the tenuous new beginnings he had had with both Lord Wyldon and with Kel on the first day they had seen each other back at the palace. Joren's father had accompanied him down to Corus a few days earlier and they celebrated his upcoming birthday - he would turn fourteen in November - with entertainment at 'Lady Loelle's' establishment once more before Lord Burchard took Joren back to the palace. The Lord of Stone Mountain gave his son some interesting, though not exactly fatherly, advice when they reached the palace gate.

"You've had an ... _exciting _summer, Joren; however, you must become serious about your studies again. I know it will be difficult, but do not allow yourself to be distracted the opposite sex." Lord Burchard said gruffly, wrinkling his nose at his son's casual appearance. "Pay attention, son; this is important. Never dally with the maids who work in the pages' or squires' wings. Fooling around with them only leads to trouble - speaking of which, always check for a pregnancy charm, no matter what a female says. You can trust the true professionals to take care of themselves, but leave the virgins and the dewy-eyed maids alone. They're looking to trap you and I'm warning you now, I will _not_ be pleased if I have to pay to get rid of any bastards. Understand?"

Joren blinked at his father and tried not to show his intense embarrassment. He never imagined that his father would tell him such things. Joren wasn't sure how to reply so he just nodded his head in agreement. Lord Burchard looked his son over one last time and scowled. Then he tugged on a thread hanging from the hem of the page's tunic.

"You're growing again, lad." observed Joren's father. "This tunic looks positively shabby on you, so you must change into something better once you've unpacked your things. As soon as you can, send Spencer to my tailor in town for clothes that fit you properly. You're Stone Mountain - I won't have you traipsing about the palace looking like some lower-born country bumpkin."

"Yes, sir," Joren said sullenly and waved a half-hearted farewell as Lord Burchard turned his horse to go back into town. He didn't understand how his father could talk to him about manly things one minute and then treat him like a child the next minute. The confused page politely acknowledged the palace guard as he entered the gate and then he led his horse to the stable. When Joren looked back, he saw that his father already had traveled far down the road.

x-x-x-x-x

Joren entered the stables and saw that Lord Wyldon was there grooming his horse, Cavall's Heart. They exchanged greetings in the usual stiff manner, but then the training master mentioned Joren's summer reading.

"Your father informed me that you seemed to enjoy the book about sword craft," Wyldon remarked casually. "Did someone recommend it to you?"

"Uh, no sir," Joren admitted. "I ... someone left the book on my desk and so I took it with me when I left for the summer. I hope that was alright. I'll return it to the palace library as soon as I wash up, my lord." He did not tell the training master who he suspected had left the book for him.

"That will be fine, Page Joren," Wyldon then came over to take a closer look at Joren's horse now that he was finished with Heart. "I saw you arrive with your father just now. You seem to be riding much better with Shadow Dancer than with your former mount. You've been working at it, haven't you?"

"Yes, my lord. Every day - just like you told me to, sir," Joren nodded his head, glad to have something else with which to please the training master. "She's a fine mount. Thank you, again, my lord." And he ran his fingers through the mare's silky mane.

"Treat her right," Wyldon urged as he began to walk toward the stable door, "and she'll go the distance for you."

x-x-x-x-x

Joren was still happy about his encounter with Lord Wyldon when he went to supper that night. Zahir also was back early and they were going to meet Vinson in the mess hall. Joren nearly stopped in his tracks when he saw that the Mindelan girl was in the serving line. He had heard the rumors that Lord Wyldon had been pressured to allow her to return, but now that he actually had seen her, some unusual ideas started coming into his head.

After all of the females he had kissed during the summer, Joren suddenly wondered what it would be like to kiss such a girl as Keladry of Mindelan. Surely she had allowed Queenscove to use her, even though she was a bit young for such a dalliance. Joren had no proof of this, except for the way Mindelan actually smiled at her older page friend and showed only her blank lump-face to everyone else. Then he remembered the peculiar thing that happened within his former study partner's eyes when she was excited or angry - her hazel irises turned significantly more green than brown.

During his summer adventures, Joren discovered that if he spoke with a certain tone of voice into a girl's ear, she might squirm a little and become more interested in what he wanted from her. He found that this was a particularly effective method of having his way with one of the young milkmaids in the village nearest his home. On a whim, Joren decided to try it out on the Mindelan girl as she went through the serving line. He wanted to see if her eyes would turn green; he wanted to see if he could excite her in the same way as he had the others.

"I'd heard that Lord Wyldon let you come back." Joren spoke softly into the girl's ear, "I suppose that I should take this opportunity to thank you for the book about swords. It was ... very good. Oh, and I've already returned it to the palace library for you."

It didn't surprise Joren that the Mindelan girl jumped a bit when he spoke to her - he had seen that reaction before, too. He waited to see the effects of his little experiment and was rewarded for his efforts. Then he fought unsuccessfully to hide his smile of triumph. When Mindelan turned to look at him in the serving line, Joren definitely had seen that her dreamer's hazel eyes were mostly green.

Even after Lord Wyldon gave the page punishment for his behavior in the mess hall during lunch on the first day of training, Joren thought that he could force himself be nice enough to the Lump so he could discover what it was like to try her out. He assumed that she would be like any other female - especially now that he knew his voice had a physical affect on her, too. After all, since she had been allowed to return, Joren figured it was time for Queenscove to share her.

x-x-x-x-x

When the blond page and his cronies stood in front of Lord Wyldon's desk after getting caught brawling with Kel over Joren's hazing of a new page named Owen of Jesslaw, they offered the same tired excuse as always - they had fallen down. The angry training master lectured them hard, emphasizing that since they all were fourth-year pages, they should have been setting a better example for the new page - and not giving the Mindelan girl an excuse for dragging others into such brawling ways. Then Lord Wyldon gave Joren, Vinson and Garvey the standard punishment of working on Sunday afternoon and warned them to stop fighting or they'd be very, very sorry. Regardless, Joren was so angry that he just wanted to continue the beating he had been giving the Lump when the palace servants pulled them apart. At this point, he'd much rather kick her than kiss her.

* * *

_"I want this place straightened up and these horses groomed afresh." Lord Wyldon's voice, and eyes, were like iron. "That includes Heart. You will then wash and assemble in the mess hall. I will address you further there." He looked them over, pale with fury. "You are a disgrace, the lot of you." He turned on his heel and walked out._

_Silently the pages got to work._

_By the time they reached the mess hall, Lord Wyldon had worked out their punishment. It included bread-and-water suppers for a week, study alone in their rooms at night, no sweets, and no trips out of the palace until Midwinter. Those pages who already had Sunday afternoon punishment work were to put that off until the general punishment was done. They were all to help carpenters rebuild the stable. Finally the training master added two more lead weights to the senior pages' harnesses._

_The subdued pages went to afternoon classes in nearly complete silence._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Lord Wyldon's P.O.V.

"_Well,_" thought Lord Wyldon, "_That had better be the end of that_." The punishments he had given to all of the pages after their terrible brawl inside the stable were the worst possible punishments he could think of to give them. He wanted them to be so tired that there was no room in their hormone-fueled minds to think about anything other than their training. The crafty training master achieved his goals quite well.

Lord Wyldon thought about the tenuous new beginnings he had had with both Keladry of Mindelan and with Joren of Stone Mountain on the first day he had seen each of them back at the palace. The training master had returned to the palace a week before the pages and remaining squires arrived to resume their training. Most of the squires were out with their knight masters, but some were still waiting to be chosen by knights who had been out on various missions. Wyldon reopened his office and settled back into his rooms. Then he went out to gather information about everything that had happened while he was away at Cavall enjoying some well-deserved time off with his wife and family.

"Welcome back, Lord Wyldon," Stefan Groomsman greeted him when he entered the pages' stables where he kept his favorite horse, Cavall's Heart. "I trust ye had a good summer, milord."

"Yes, Stefan, I did." Wyldon replied. "What's the news around here?"

"Well, milord, Tansy th' bake mistress won th' big pot o' crowns for her bet that ye'd let th' girl page come back." Stefan grinned. "It's amazin', milord - that Keladry of Mindelan is real good with 'er mount. She's been comin' up 'ere every day, all summer long, t' ride an' take care of ol' Peachblossom. I ain't seen much o' th' lads doin' what she's been doin', milord."

Wyldon was astonished at Stefan's news. "Every day? The Mindelan girl came here _every_ day?"

"Yes, milord," Stefan nodded. "Never missed one. Lots o' folk seen 'er about. She visited them smart sparrows o' hers, too."

Wyldon tucked away that bit of information. So the girl really was returning. He wished it wasn't so, but he knew that she wouldn't have visited such an ornery beast as the gelding Peachblossom, unless she truly planned to continue riding him during training. What a foolish child she was, he thought, and her parents were fools for encouraging her ambitions. There was bound to be trouble in the days ahead when all of the pages, including the girl, started to mature.

Now the training master wasn't so sure he had made the right decision in allowing the girl to return. Lord Wyldon felt the beginnings of a wicked headache and went to the kitchen for some willow tea before he returned to the stable to groom his horse. He had just started to feel a bit better when he saw Lord Burchard and his son Joren ride up to the palace gate. Remembering the unpleasant conversations he had experienced at Stone Mountain, Lord Wyldon sighed; he knew his headache would be returning with a vengeance.

x-x-x-x-x

The training master had observed the first morning's drills with a growing sense of unease. Several of the boys got hit or kicked because they kept sneaking glances over at the girl when they should have been paying closer attention to what their own partners were doing. In particular, he noticed the way Page Joren worked his way through a variety of partners until he was facing off against Page Keladry.

Lord Wyldon was relieved to see that the Mindelan girl was completely oblivious to the subtle flirting of the handsome blond page. However, he became more concerned when he saw the contemptuous glances of some of the older boys - most notably Page Nealan and Page Cleon - who obviously _did_ understand what the Stone Mountain lad was doing. The worried training master decided that he would change a few things about the way the pages trained very soon. It was not soon enough.

x-x-x-x-x

On the second morning of the pages' training, Lord Wyldon was walking next to the stable when he heard the beginning of a fight. Usually he left the pages alone to work out their grievances with one another, but this time the situation involved the Mindelan girl and it sounded and felt different to him. He was somewhat impressed when he overheard Keladry stop Faleron from going after Garvey by telling him to ignore the older page's rude remark. The training master shook his head though, upon hearing the comment Nealan made about the sexuality of Joren and Garvey, because it was _that_ particular remark which caused more of a ruckus. When Lord Wyldon heard the sound of wood cracking and breaking, he realized that the fight had become an all-out brawl and that the boys had to be stopped before someone was seriously injured.

"_Two days_," Lord Wyldon thought bitterly after he and the other instructors doused the brawling pages with buckets of cold water. "_I made a mistake in allowing the girl to return and that's all it took - two ... miserable ... days. Mithros! Just look at this mess! I've got to come up with a way to get these pages' minds off of the wrong things so they can focus on their training._" Wyldon's headache returned and it was worse than ever, but he was determined to find a suitable solution to this problem before the girl became even more of a distraction to the boys.

Actually, the training master did not hold Page Keladry responsible for the brawl. Although two of his own daughters had become interested in boys starting when they each had turned eleven, Wyldon knew that the eleven-year-old Keladry was not aware that some of her fellow pages had become a bit too interested in her attention. Gazing out the window in his office, Lord Wyldon smiled ruefully at his thoughts of the older male pages charging around like a bunch of stallions competing to mount the lone mare. Unfortunately for them, the 'mare' in question was still a 'filly' and, thankfully, she wasn't anywhere close to being ready for such things at this time.

Lord Wyldon held himself responsible for the trouble and vowed to be more vigilant. It was a ridiculously bad situation, but now that they were serving out their punishments, the pages were too tired to think about anything other than their military and physical training, their academic studies, sleep and food - and not necessarily in that order. No one bothered the Mindelan girl and the halls were peaceful at night. Lord Wyldon's headaches occurred less and less.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the inconvenient length, but I know that several of you readers prefer these longer chapters anyway. ;D Also, since TP doesn't specify Joren's date of birth, I decided to set in November. That puts him at the right age to go through his Ordeal when the time comes, but it also serves my purpose of making his father 'icky' by taking him to the brothel at the age of thirteen. Don't flame me - even TP has defended her story lines by reminding us readers that these characters are living in medieval times and they started early. Please read and review. Thanks!**


	11. The Pact

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Ooooo ... back-to-back updates! Yes, I've been writing like a fiend. It must be the holiday spirit urging me to give you more. ;D BTW, I still love getting all those reviews - keep on sending them my way! Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_"See, Kel, if all of a sudden everyone's getting into fights about your virtue, maybe the Stump will get rid of you after all." Neal sighed and finger-combed his hair back from his face._

_Fear trickled down Kel's spine like cold water. Could Lord Wyldon change his mind? Who would protest if he did? The king had allowed her to be put on probation in the first place. No doubt if Wyldon told him Kel had to go, the king would agree. "I'm eleven," she said at last. "That's too young to be lying with men, Neal. Much too young."_

_... "Facts don't matter with Joren and his crowd. Just gossip. Just making your friends angry enough to fight. I reminded him that gossip is a tricky weapon, that's all. It cuts two ways."_

_Kel sighed. "I still don't think you did me any good. I can take a few insults."_

_"You can -- I can't." Neal peered out the door. "Hall's empty. Shoo." As she walked by, he added, "I consider myself chastised."_

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

**The Pact**

"Lads, lads, quiet down," Neal ordered the pages who had settled onto every flat surface in his room. "We've got to do this quickly before Kel gets here."

"What's the deal, Neal?" Cleon rhymed cheerfully. Some of the boys groaned at his lame joke, but some of them chuckled.

"That's real original, Cleon. I've never heard that before." Neal said sarcastically and then addressed everyone else. "This is the deal: we've got to come up with a way to protect Kel from the males around her - and that includes us. We can't afford any more fights like the one we're being punished for now."

"That's the truth!" exclaimed Esmond. "I'm so hungry - I think I might try to nibble on my horse's feed tomorrow." Everyone nodded and murmured about their woes from Lord Wyldon's punishments, especially the bread-and-water suppers. Thank the gods they only had to endure two more days of it.

"I don't understand." Owen said above the rumbles of the other boys. "Why does Kel need protection from anyone? She can jolly well take care of herself - I've seen her in action! We all have."

"And we have the bruises to prove it!" Faleron laughed and others joined him.

"That may be so," Cleon was more serious now, "but what Neal is talking about is Kel's ... virtue."

"Now, _I_ don't understand," said Merric. "I thought this was about stopping Joren and his gang from starting so many fights with Kel. You know, patrolling the halls like we did last year. Isn't it the same thing?"

Neal shook his head at them. "You younglings _wouldn't _understand. The game has changed, lads. Prince Roald and Cleon and those of us who are older have noticed that Joren and his lot have decided to attack Kel's reputation as a noble _lady_. If they can make the Stump think that she has loose morals or a flawed character, then maybe he will have to dismiss her. If Kel's presence here causes a ruckus every time someone talks to her or is friendly with her in a certain way, the Stump will give her the ax. What I'm saying is that we need a plan to prevent Kel's reputation from being ruined."

"I don't get it." said Esmond. "Kel's our friend. She's not like a _real_ girl."

Prince Roald and Cleon exchanged glances and shook their heads. This was going to be harder than Neal thought. Most of the boys in the room were still too young to have any romantic interest in girls. Even though Kel wore dresses to supper every evening, her strengths and talents on both the practice courts and in the classroom made it possible for the boys to see her as just one of them. Only the oldest boys in the room had become aware that Kel actually was a wonderful girl and that she possessed the potential to become a nice-looking young lady someday, too. They also realized that Kel was too young to care about any of them in a romantic way - yet.

"I think," Prince Roald started hesitantly, "I think we - all of us here - should make ... a pact."

"What kind of a pack?" asked Merric. "What would we put into it? And why _make_ one when we can get one from the palace stores?"

"He said a 'pact', you dolt!" Faleron playfully cuffed his cousin on the back of his head. "You know, it's an agreement of sorts, usually legal but often informal. Right, your highness?"

Prince Roald nodded and continued carefully, almost as if he was talking to himself, "What if ... all of us agreed to treat Kel as our friend and our ... 'sister'? And what if we never behave in a way that gives legitimacy to Joren's smear campaign - you know ... sneaking glances at her and ... trying to be near her ... and such? I think then that the nasty rumors will die down and hopefully disappear. After all, no one is allowed to court his own sister, so we wouldn't allow ourselves ... to ... court ... Why are you looking at me like that?" Roald glanced around at all of the reddened faces and realized that only at this very moment had some of the boys understood what was going on. Then it was his turn to blush. Obviously, the prince had just revealed that his thoughts about Kel ran in more of a romantic direction than he had ever let on.

"I think that's a great idea!" exclaimed Neal, saving the prince from any further embarrassment. "That's _exactly_ what we need - a pact. If we all can agree to see Kel as our sister, then she can be safe around any of us. We'll make sure that Joren and his cronies can't get close enough to her to tarnish her reputation. And if anyone questions the palace servants or our instructors, they'll only be able to say how brotherly we are towards her. There won't be any 'food' for the gossips to nibble on because we will make sure that we - and any other boys - treat Kel with the utmost of respect that is due to her as a future lady of the realm." Now it was Neal's turn to look around the room with a sheepish grin on his face. His fellow pages often harassed him for making speeches that sounded like he was back in a university debate and he knew that he had done it again.

"For how long?" asked Cleon as he leaned against the wall. He was the only page that didn't seem to be very enthusiastic about making such a pact. "How long do we treat Kel like she's our sister? Some of us will be squires next year and we ... we won't be around as much." He tried to sound casual, but both Neal and Roald gave him a raised eyebrow.

"Well," Roald spoke slowly and thoughtfully, "How about ... at least until Kel's a squire herself? Then she'll be off with her knight master and ... she'll be ... older."

The room was quiet for a moment as each boy considered everything that they had discussed so far. Gradually, a few heads nodded agreement and before long, Faleron, who knew more about Tortallan law than any of them except the prince, pulled out a piece of parchment and began to write up their pact. After all of the boys read the document and agreed to it, they signed their names in the blank space at the bottom of the parchment, making it 'official'. They all also agreed that none of them would ever reveal their pact to Kel. This was now a secret only for the boys.

Keladry of Mindelan was now their 'sister' and the male pages vowed to behave honorably and brotherly toward her. They also vowed to defend her virtue as though it was their own and to do their best to not get into any more physical altercations when other boys made rude comments. It would be difficult, but they would support each other and keep each other out of trouble. Three of the boys in the room, and perhaps more, actually started looking forward to the future when Kel would be a squire. For them, it would seem like a very long wait.

* * *

**A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so I hope you had fun reading it. I don't write short chappies very often, but I thought this one was sweet and I wanted to post it right away. I look forward to your reviews. Thanks! :D**


	12. Virtue

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Thank you, thank you, and thank you! I love these fabulous reviewers, including abyssgirl, Faia Sakura, Lady Grace of Masbolle, LJane, jayley, Sarah7191, pyrena93, spazzysassyangel, confuzzled lil phoenix, KTParrott, secret-scribbled-notebooks, claire of queenscove, Merkaba7734, beastie92, elf warrior princess, Olive-Whisperer, and GEL500. I am so encouraged to write more because of your reviews - keep on sending them my way! I hope this chapter will answer some of your questions that have come up in your reviews. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Jump's snores roused Kel one November morning before dawn. She turned him on his side - he only snored on his back - and waited for sleep to return. It didn't. Instead, she worried. She had plenty to worry about. Once they had the energy, she and her friends had begun their hall patrols, trying to catch Joren and his cronies harassing a first-year. They'd had no success. Neal and Cleon thought Joren's crowd had given up. Kel wasn't so sure. Her experience of bullies was that if they weren't doing one thing, they were preparing something else. _

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

**Virtue**

One of the things Kel worried about was the way her friends were acting around her lately. They were still friendly toward her, but they suddenly had become extremely polite, and somewhat protective around her. Many of the boys had become better friends with Kel since their summer training camp experience, when Kel's bird friends had helped save the day against a bunch of spidrens. Afterwards, when they were out hunting or riding, the boys would tell her stories about their first-year adventures - things they had done when Neal had been the only page who would talk to 'the Girl' for most of the year.

Kel had discovered that Neal, Faleron and Merric, who had been assigned together as study partners, formed a fairly tight friendship. Neal admitted that there had been times during the previous year when the three of them had 'patrolled' the hallways to make sure Joren's friends weren't still hazing first-years. They knew that instructors often roamed the halls, too, but there seemed to be a lot of interest in whatever she and Joren were studying, so the boys checked other places to make sure Vinson, Garvey and Zahir were behaving. Kel was astounded to hear that Neal and the others actually worried that Joren would start beating her up again when he was supposed to be studying with her.

Now she wondered what else was going on. Had they uncovered some new plot against her and didn't want her to worry about Joren? Were they thinking that she was some weak female who couldn't take care of herself? It made Kel a little angry to imagine that her friends would go behind her back to defend her virtue, but what could she do? The more Kel thought about it, the more she worried, because she didn't want there to be another brawl, especially if it was about her. After all, the boys all bathed together and spent time in each others rooms, so if Joren and his cronies insulted Kel to her friends while they were away from her, she probably would never know about it - but she worried that Lord Wyldon probably would.

Another thing Kel worried about was her new personal maid, Lalasa. The older girl was so skittish around Kel that it made her jumpy, too. Kel knew that there were men in the palace who took advantage of the female workers - she also had seen it happen in Yaman. She was thankful that the bruises the maid bore when she came into Kel's service finally had disappeared. She also was very pleased with the changes that Lalasa had made in her room - especially the hot baths and the overall organization of all her belongings. If only the girl would calm down and trust her! Lord Wyldon had warned Kel that it was her duty to protect her maid and that's exactly what she intended to do.

Later that morning, Kel was grateful for Lalasa's presence for an entirely different reason. Upon the discovery that she was beginning to develop a bosom fairly early, Kel had been completely dismayed. The eleven-and-a half-year-old page declared that she did not need and did not want the inconvenience of her womanly 'badges of honor'. Hearing Lalasa's soft laughter at the fast-growing girl's attitude was somewhat of a stress-relief. Kel was willing to take whatever progress she could at this point.

* * *

"Happy birthday, my friend!" exclaimed Zahir and he threw back Joren's covers. "It's time to get up and face the day like a new man."

"Ugh! Leave me alone; there's barely any daylight!" groaned a sleepy-eyed Joren and he tugged his covers back up and over his head. Zahir could hear his friend's muffled voice complaining. "I'm going to kill Spencer for letting you in here this early."

"Oh, don't be such an ass, Joren." Zahir was the only person who could get away with saying that to the arrogant blond page. The two of them had formed a solid friendship when they were first-year pages and they often berated each other, but it usually was in jest. "Get up! I have something for you, but if you don't want any presents, I'll just ..."

"Alright, alright! Don't go away. Just ... stop talking so loud." Joren sat up in his bed, his white blond hair was tousled about his shoulders. "So, what is it? What did you get me?"

The regal-looking Bazhir page handed Joren a large paper-wrapped bundle. Joren tore into it enthusiastically. His father already had given him his birthday gifts and he didn't expect anything from anyone else, so this would be a treat no matter what it happened to be. A wide, happy grin spread across Joren's face as he lifted his gift from it wrappings. Joren got out of bed and gave his friend a manly hug of appreciation. It was one of the best gifts he had ever received.

Zahir had given Joren a traditional Bazhir outfit, complete with a burnoose in the pale blue color of Zahir's tribal fief. The entire ensemble was suitable for wear when he went south with Sir Paxton as his squire next year. Since it was still too early to go to breakfast, Zahir showed Joren the proper way to don the Bazhir clothing. The very blond page did not look quite right in the garb of the desert people, but he was satisfied that he would be able to 'blend in' from afar. Joren turned to thank his friend.

"It was the least I could do," Zahir replied and shrugged. "It's a wonderful thing that you already know who your knight master will be; there's no way to tell who might pick me to be his squire. I am the first of my tribe to come to the palace here in the north. Although many young Bazhir tribesmen have joined the King's Own, there are only a few full knights from our lands. I probably will have to stay here in Corus or go further north to the border no matter who chooses me."

"Well, it might have been nice to see who would've picked me as their squire," Joren said wistfully, "but my father was pretty adamant that his godsson take me on. And, of course, my father usually gets what he wants." Suddenly, he remembered his sister's last warnings to him before she and her new husband departed for Maren.

"Just you wait," Anniseth had told Joren. "When the time comes for you to marry, your bride will be a blond - just like both of our mothers. Oh, and Father will consider Book of Gold families only, so you'd better start lowering your expectations. Don't even think about having fun as a knight - your first duty will be to provide Stone Mountain heirs as quickly as possible. Why do you think I married a foreigner? Now I and my future children are lost to Father because we will belong to Maren. Goddess be praised; I'm finally escaping his grip! Good luck to you little brother - you're going to need it."

The two friends stood there in silence, each lost in his own thoughts for a moment. While Zahir's father rarely visited Corus - he hated the cold weather - Joren's father usually came to court three or four times a year. Zahir had seen the way Lord Burchard threw around his political weight, as well as the way he hounded Joren about every little thing. The Bazhir thought that perhaps it was just as well that his father never saw him sparring on the practice courts or serving at a banquet; court life here was very different from tribal life - even in a royal tribe such as Zahir's.

"I have to tell you something," Zahir said, his voice turning serious, "It's about hazing the first-years. I can no longer participate with you and the others."

Joren stopped removing the Bazhir outfit and stared at his friend in disbelief.

Zahir hesitated and then began to speak in a low voice, "This summer, I became a man. I may now sit on the tribal council with my father and my uncles and cousins. I may marry a woman from another royal tribe. I must ... I _must_ join with the Voice of the Tribes every day at sunset. I must _not_ be found lacking in virtue."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Joren as he started to get dressed in his regular clothes. "What are you talking about?"

"I told you about this before we went on our summer break," Zahir explained. "I had my ceremony of manhood while I was at home. I have to stop doing ... childish things."

Joren continued to dress, but now he was becoming irritated. "Are you calling _me_ childish?"

"No, Joren, that's not what I'm saying." Zahir tried to explain it a different way. "Every day I must join with the Voice, even when I'm here in Tortall. The Voice will examine my heart and my mind, just as he examines every other adult Bazhir's heart and mind. He will judge my thoughts and actions every day. He will know what I have done, and with whom and why. If I participate in your ... activities, the Voice will know. It's for your own good that I step back."

"Who is this 'Voice' that you're talking about?" Joren asked. "And how does this all work?"

Zahir sighed. It was not well-known in the north that King Jonathan was the current Voice of the Tribes. It wasn't a secret, but few non-Bazhirs had a need to know anyway, so they didn't talk about it openly. Zahir was not going to tell his northern friend everything, either, but he was as truthful as he could be.

"The Voice is ... a very powerful ... mage." Zahir said. "His magic binds us together with the land and with each other in a very mysterious way. I cannot explain it fully because I don't truly understand how it works, but I know that whatever I do - with you or with anyone else - the Voice will know about it and will judge me accordingly."

"Huh! I'm glad I'm not a Bazhir!" Joren exclaimed, thinking about the things he had done in the past, as well as the things he planned to do later. "Oh, sorry. I meant no offense to you, of course."

"Of course," Zahir smiled. "I just wanted you to know why I haven't been around too much lately - I mean, after we finish with all our punishment work and our homework, I'm pretty tired, anyway. Aren't you?"

"Yeah, but it's too bad about the mind-reading and all, because I'm coming up with different plan to get rid of the Lump." Joren's voice turned hard and he forcefully pushed his feet into his boots. "She's the cause of all our problems and she's got to go."

"Well, don't tell me anything about it," Zahir said worriedly. "I could slip up and think about your plan and then the Voice would know and we'd all be in trouble."

"Don't worry, old friend," Joren smiled ruefully. "I'll just get Vinson and Garvey, and maybe Quinden, to help me. I'll keep you out of it, okay?"

Zahir was grateful for Joren's understanding and acceptance. He liked the northerner because Joren was one of the few boys who befriended him when they initially arrived at the palace as first-years pages. Initially, the Bazhir boy had been unsure of the blond page's motives - so many of the other boys called him 'pretty' and 'girlie' and other unkind names due to his looks - but Joren and Zahir just seemed to understand each other. They always had been friends and he hoped they always would be. Perhaps Joren's upcoming time near Zahir's desert home would give the northern boy a deeper understanding of him.

"Let's go eat." Joren said as soon as they heard the morning bell. "I'm starving. Do you think the servers will give me extra rolls because it's my birthday?"

Zahir just laughed and shook his head as they walked out into the hall.

* * *

Joren was having a very happy birthday indeed. Usually, he was worn out from all the punishment he and all of the other pages had been serving for damaging their stable during the huge brawl. But today, Master Oakbridge had to attend an important meeting, so there was no etiquette class and the pages received a rare extra hour of free time before supper. Joren immediately sought out the nice-looking maid that he had noticed when he was running an errand for one of the nobles. When he walked up behind her and whispered to her that it was his birthday, she had turned to him and smiled. She was short, but shapely and she had brown hair and brown hazel eyes - Joren never chose blond girls because they reminded him too much of all the women in his father's life. The young maid did not hesitate to follow the 'birthday boy' out into the palace garden.

Lord Wyldon quietly walked through one of his favorite palace gardens, but he did not stop to admire the beauty of the ornamental trees. Instead, the stealthy training master followed the sounds of high-pitched female giggling and braced himself for what he was certain he would find. When he rounded the corner of a tall hedge and arrived at the secluded little alcove, a popular trysting place for young would-be lovers, he was not surprised to find one of his charges in a compromising position with one of the palace maids.

"I suggest you return to your assigned tasks, miss," Wyldon said in a cold voice. "I doubt the chamberlain would consider this to be one of your _proper_ duties."

"Oh! Oh, yes milord!" The young maid gasped and pulled together her bodice, which had been unlaced by the quick and surprisingly talented fingers of the gorgeous blond page. She did not slow down as she straightened her skirts and hastened back to her workplace; she did not want to be anywhere near the harsh, angry-looking Lord Wyldon. The young maid felt sorry for the page who now sat alone on the stone bench and she hoped he would find her again. Palace maids often gained a higher status amongst themselves if they caught the eye of a highly desirable nobleman - and the handsome page from Stone Mountain definitely was one of the most desirable nobles in the palace, even if he was a bit young.

"What do you have to say for yourself this time, Joren of Stone Mountain?" demanded Wyldon, his jaw tight and his eyes narrowed. "I warned you when I caught you fooling around with the goose girls, during what little free time you've had so far this year, that there would be consequences if this happened again. Now here you are, dallying with a _palace _maid!"

"My lord, it's my birthday and I ..." Joren foolishly tried to explain his reasoning.

"Stand up when you address me!" Wyldon spoke through clenched teeth and Joren jumped to his feet to finish straightening his clothes. "You might _think_ you became a man this summer, but you are far from attaining that goal. Don't look so surprised; your father told me about your visits to a certain establishment during your summer break. I have informed you older boys before, but apparently it bears repeating; the female palace workers are not here for your _entertainment_, Page Joren. As a future knight, it is your duty to protect female virtue - not ravage it."

Joren tugged on the bottom hem of his tunic and tried to look like he cared about the lecture he was receiving. "But sir, I --" the page began and the training master stopped him.

"Have you _no_sense of decency?" Lord Wyldon was livid and his face turned even redder than before. "Joren of Stone Mountain, you are now restricted to your rooms every day, even on the weekends, until Midwinter. _If_ you have free time, you may go to the stables or to the practice courts to work on your skills, but you are not permitted to wander about the palace or its grounds, nor are you permitted to have any female servants in your room. I will inform your manservant of your punishment and he will keep me informed of your whereabouts. Do you understand?"

Joren stood straighter when Lord Wyldon spoke with such anger in his voice. "Yes, sir!" was the only thing he could say.

"Now, go to your rooms and stay there until supper." Lord Wyldon commanded. "You are dismissed."

Joren went straight to his rooms and slammed the door. It was now an hour before supper time and he couldn't go anywhere or do anything, so he flopped down on his bed and pouted. In Joren's mind, all he had been trying to do was to celebrate his birthday. He thought he was doing a fairly good job of it, until Wyldon caught him. Now he was in worse trouble than ever and the rest of his weekends were forfeit, too.

As he lay there feeling sorry for himself, Joren fell into a fitful sleep. He dreamed he was with the cute maid again - he didn't even know her name - and he was having his wonderful birthday 'celebration' with her. She was soft and she was willing ... and then she turned into Keladry of Mindelan. In his dream, Joren couldn't stop himself from kissing her the way he had been kissing the maid, so he startled himself awake. Catching his breath, the sleepy-eyed page sat straight up and saw that only a quarter of a bell's time had past. He tried to shake off his terrible little dream by thinking that the maid was nothing like the stupid Mindelan girl - her eyes didn't change color balance at all. Of course, thinking of the Lump only made Joren more upset. This was all _her_ fault. _Stupid females and their stupid virtue!_

The servant, Spencer, prepared Joren's evening bath and he soaked in the hot water for as long as he could before he had to dress for supper. An idea started to form in his mind of how he could make the Lump's life as miserable as his was now. Slowly, a sinister smile spread across his face. He'd have to wait until Midwinter, but since he was restricted to his rooms anyway, Joren would have plenty of time to perfect his plan.

* * *

**A/N: Cue the ominous-sounding music! You know about the Midwinter service debacle - or you should - if you've read the PotS books. Anyway, my next chapter picks up **_**after**_** that incident, so before I update again, you might want to refresh your memory by reading that chapter of ****Page**** - or not. It's just a thought. Again, I look forward to your reviews. Thanks! :D**


	13. No Time For This

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I'm glad so many of you liked the last chapter! ^_^ I've always wondered how Jon handled being 'the Voice' for all those years. Also, since the king eventually chooses Zahir to be his squire, I thought I'd work in a storyline around the Bazhir connection. I'm working on moving faster into the future, so here's a short (for me) chappie! Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_The room went still. The pages who stood remained in their places, watching Joren for some sign. Kel finally got tired of waiting. She leaned in until scant inches separated her nose from Joren's. "Are you hearing us now?" she asked softly._

_He blinked, then raised his hand to cover a fake-looking yawn. "I'm too tired to do anything but what my teachers order me," he said at last. "And you are just too rough-and-tumble to bear. We shall stop, but only because we are bored."_

_They would get nothing further, Kel knew. She moved out of Joren's way, allowing him to rise and go. The other pages streamed out of the mess hall doors, many lost to a storm of very real yawns._

_It isn't over, Kel thought as she bid her friends good night. We're just forcing them to be sneaky. And Joren ... She sighed as she fitted her key to the lock on her door. I don't know if he'll ever stop with me._

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

**No Time for This**

When Joren got back to his room after the Midwinter confrontation with the other pages, he still felt triumphant. It didn't matter to him now that the boys who had been neutral all along were tired of his games - he already had accomplished most of his major objectives. Joren was certain that due to his well-executed plans, the Lump and her new friends were no longer Master Oakbridge's favorite students. Thanks to the blond page's friends, Mindelan and her friends had experienced several nights of horribly embarrassing 'accidents' while serving in the banquet hall. The best part was that Joren and his cronies had been able to spread some deliciously wicked rumors about the Lump:

"Oh, yes, the girl page is still with us ... _unfortunately_."

"Did you know that no one wanted to sponsor the girl page last year? There finally was one poor volunteer and he got stuck taking her everywhere on his own because no one wanted to be _tainted_ by her presence."

"It's just so difficult to recognize the girl page because she's, well, rather _boyish_-looking. Poor thing, that's why she's here, you know."

"Did you know that the girl page is a real ruffian? She gets into _fights_ with senior pages all the time."

"Obviously, the girl page doesn't want to follow time-honored _traditions_. As you can imagine, it's causing a lot of stress."

"Did you know that the girl page visited a certain male page's room every evening last year? Supposedly they were studying but, _honestly_, do you think that's the only thing they were doing?"

These were some of the tasty morsels of gossip that Joren, Vinson, Garvey, and Quinden had dropped among the noble diners as they performed their serving duties. It had been fun to watch the already unhappy conservatives look down their noses at the Mindelan girl. Several diners requested that she be removed from serving them. Joren was very happy with his plan to further tarnish the Lump's reputation, even if they only got to put it in action for a few nights. The damage was done and there was nothing she could do about it.

The only problem for the sneaky page was that he almost lost his composure during the confrontation with the other pages. When the Lump's face had been so near to his face, he could see that her eyes were mostly green again. Obviously, she was angry, but at that moment Joren felt a tightening in his chest and he wanted her eyes to be greenish because of excitement over him instead. Her lips had been close enough that, if he had wanted to ruin his life in a very public way, he could have leaned in and kissed her.

Fortunately, Joren had been able to quash his traitorous thoughts and maintain self-control. Once the Midwinter holidays were over, he and all the other fully-punished pages would be free to take trips into Corus again - where there were _real_ women with completely kissable lips. Joren had no time for this ... this ... messed up and misplaced desire to kiss the Lump, so he pushed those thoughts away and went to sleep content with the outcome of his day.

* * *

Winter gave way to spring, and all of the pages prepared for their year-end examinations. Kel wrestled with having a major crush on Neal, but no one noticed except Lalasa. All of the boys had been too busy watching each other for signs of un-brotherly behavior toward her. Eventually, some of the foul rumors Joren and his cronies had spread around reached Kel's friends' ears and they worked hard to reverse the damage as much as they could. They knew that there was no time for this nonsense, but they wanted to be true to their pact and protect Kel's reputation from serious damage. No one, not even Neal, was ever left alone with Kel, and they all watched Joren closely.

One evening, Joren tried to get Kel to come to his room and help him study for the reading and writing part of the exam. He knew his former study partner still worried about his recitation skills because he glimpsed her biting on her lower lip whenever he was required to read aloud in class. Maybe, Joren thought, if they were alone and unwatched for just a moment, he could satisfy his curiosity about kissing the Lump and be done with her once and for all.

The ever vigilant Neal correctly suspected that Joren had ulterior motives for asking Kel to study with him again, but he didn't know exactly what the blond troublemaker had in mind. He only knew that whatever it was, such an attempt to have something happen would cast doubt upon Kel's virtue, so he warned her not to go. Instead, Cleon and Prince Roald showed up at Joren's door and the prince announced that he thought it would be a good idea to study and practice together. After all, they were year-mates and knew best what to expect during the exams. Joren could hardly refuse the prince, so he graciously accepted the offer and the three of them had a surprisingly good study session.

x-x-x-x-x

On the day of their exams, Kel had to take care of a feminine emergency - her first monthlies came early and inconveniently, as they often do. Once again, her maid, Lalasa, saved the day and helped Kel deal with the mess. When she finally was ready to go and face the examiners, only Neal was waiting for her in the hallway. She reached up to smooth his tousled hair - as she had done a thousand times before - and then froze. Neal's face was only an inch from Kel's face and both of them felt their stomachs do strange little flip-flops. Then the green-eyed page leaned in and gently kissed the girl page on her forehead.

"For luck," Neal's voice sounded strained even to his ears as he stepped away from Kel. "Now let's go, little sister. We cannot - we will not - be late!" Then he turned to walk quickly down the hall and mentally berated himself for being so stupid. "_Mithros! There's no time for this and I will _not _be the one to break the pact._" Neal did not realize that he had called her 'little sister' out loud.

Kel calmed her heart and caught her breath before she followed after him. "_Little sister?_" she thought with a dawning realization. "_Is that what all of this protectiveness has been about? Is that how all of the boys see me now - as their 'little sister'? Is that how _Neal_ sees me?_" Kel had no time to ponder this as they rushed to make it to their exam on time.

* * *

**A/N: La-la-la! I'm just in a writing mood today. Enjoy! :D Oh yeah - please R&R. Thanks!**


	14. Time Flies

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Okay, this is how I figured out my 'time jump' so that I may get to some fluffy scenes sooner rather than later. There are lots of quotes from TP's original book to orient you to my timeline, and there's a TON of character development, so this HUGE chapter ended up being longer than long. Please bear with me - remember ... time flies when you're having fun. ;D I had lots of fun writing about this one year in Kel's life, so I hope you have fun reading about it. Happy holidays! Enjoy! :D**

**

* * *

**

**Time Flies...**

* * *

_Kel also got to see her second oldest brother, Inness, who visited for a few days, before he rode north to the Scanran border. He took Cleon with him. Zahir was chosen as squire by the king. Joren went east with Paxton of Nond. Garvey and Vinson, as well as five other new squires, remained in the palace while Lord Wyldon took the pages out to their summer camp. _

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Joren glanced over his shoulder at the palace once more before following his new knight-master, Sir Paxton of Nond, into the dense royal forest. The new squire was very excited to be heading out for adventures to the south, especially because he had never traveled there. When he had packed the Bazhir outfit that Zahir gave him with the rest of his things, he realized just how much he really wanted to see his friend's homeland. Joren patted his mare, Shadow Dancer, or Dancer as he called her, and urged to her to catch up to the older man's horse.

"Sir Paxton, when will we head south for the desert?" Joren asked. "Will we be staying at Nond House for long? Is anyone else coming with us?" He almost felt like a child leaving home for the first time when he asked so many questions.

"We only are stopping at Nond for a few days to pick up Merovec and some extra supplies." Paxton replied briskly. "My brother will accompany us south to buy a couple of Bazhir-bred horses to add to his collection. Mero is looking to get married within the next year or so, and he wants to be able to impress his new bride's family with a worthy gift."

Joren nodded. His father had mentioned something to him about Nond's second son's betrothal negotiations during the last Midwinter banquet. Whoever the young lady was, Lord Burchard thought Paxton's younger brother could have done much better. "So ... your brother will be with us until we return to the palace this winter?"

"Probably." Paxton replied. "Mero also intends to help you get adjusted to the way I prefer to do things. It's been quite a while since I've had a squire and I'd like to settle into our camp as quickly as possible. "

"How long will it take us to get there?" asked Joren, and then he winced when he remembered that he was supposed to have studied the maps and routes and know this information already.

"As you know, the location of our base camp is on the eastern edge of the desert, south of the hill country." Paxton answered without any trace of sarcasm or disappointment in his squire's lack of knowledge. "Sometimes one of the groups from the Queen's Riders patrols with us; they have their own camp north of ours, and they're good people to have around. It'll be beastly hot and the bandits from across the Tusaine border are relentless, but you'll get used to it soon enough. Mero's a scholar and he's never complained, so I'll expect you to follow his example."

The knight and his squire rode on in silence after that. Sir Paxton was a bit stiff and he reminded Joren of Lord Wyldon, except that the knight was much nicer. Joren's father was Paxton's godsfather and he had pressured the knight into taking Joren on as his squire. Even though the knight had seen Page Joren's considerable combat skills on the practice courts, he hoped his new squire was more resilient than he now appeared. It had been a while since Paxton needed a squire because he and his brother had ridden together on various missions for the past several years. Mero enjoyed the study of local traditions and weapons wherever they traveled and he was working on writing a book about his findings. Paxton sighed; the knight knew it would be a long couple of months in the desert.

* * *

_Faleron spoke up. "We might be dead but for Kel, my lord. I froze when they came at us. Kel is the one with the cool head. She found that cave when we all thought we were trapped."_

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Lord Wyldon leisurely strolled with his wife, Lady Vivienne, through their formal gardens at Cavall. He was enjoying his summer break more than usual because the pages' summer camp training had been such a harrowing experience. Wyldon almost lost seven young pages to bandits because the local district commander had been criminally negligent in performing his duties and securing his area properly. Thank the gods that the Mindelan girl was shaping up to be such a natural leader and helped save the lives of her fellow pages.

"Who would have thought that the girl had it in her?" Wyldon wondered aloud to his wife after he told her the details of the skirmish between his pages and a group of bandits. "I've never known of a girl to be so level-headed under such pressure."

Lady Vivienne smiled to herself before she replied. "My dear, how soon we forget. Let's see ... when was the last time raiders attempted to steal from us? I'll tell you - it was when _you_ were away, saving the royal children. I believe you will remember that _my_ head is fairly level at most times. We still have all our horses and dogs."

Wyldon brought his wife's hand up to his lips and kissed it. "My apologies, gentle lady. I just meant that ... well ... look at our girls. I love them all dearly, but if Celine doesn't begin to show some common sense soon, I'm going to have to lock her up until she's old enough to marry someone who can handle her properly."

"_I_ didn't start to like boys until I met you," Vivienne reminded him, "and by then, you were a _man_ and no longer a boy. Perhaps young Keladry will show more interest later. Anyway, I thought you didn't want her to become involved with the boys because of all the problems _that_ would create."

"That's still true," admitted the training master, "but I find it strange that I have never seen the Mindelan girl acting foolish or flirtatious around any of the male pages. She's twelve now and her demeanor is quite unlike the way _our_ girls behave whenever there are boys around. I keep waiting for Page Keladry's 'madness' to set in, but it never does. The boys certainly are crazy for her - especially after her actions saved so many of their lives this summer - but she seems not to notice or care. I just don't understand her!"

"Perhaps you never will, dear" said Vivienne, thinking about all the other incidents of the girl page's courage or toughness that her husband had told her. "We females can be mysterious at any age - and I think you'll agree that that's not necessarily a bad thing." She smiled mischievously at her husband and he leaned down to kiss her.

"Hmm. You may be right, my love," Wyldon admitted again, "It's just that I prefer for my students to be 'mysteries' I can unravel without getting a headache. The gods may have made a mistake when they decided that Keladry of Mindelan should be born a girl. I know that my life would be so much easier if she was a boy!"

* * *

_"I didn't have much of a bosom until I got pregnant," Ilane went on. "Your sister Patricine, though, she developed at twelve." As Kel's father returned, Ilane added, "Remember - you may be able to do so, but no one can force you to have babies. You do have a choice in these things. I'll get you a charm to ward off pregnancy until you are ready for it." _

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

On the first day of training, Kel yawned and stretched and began to do her warm-up exercises on the practice court. Suddenly, she discovered several sets of eyes watching her in stunned silence. Some boys even had their mouths open in an expression of shock. Then Kel wanted to melt into the ground - and not just because of the extreme heat. She tried to ignore the whispered comments, but after a while it was too hard to do and her red cheeks betrayed her Yamani calm expression. Not even the padded jacket could hide the fact that Page Keladry had developed a bosom.

"Mithros! The Lump's got ... _lumps_!"

"See? I told you she was a _girl_-girl!"

"Don't look _there_! My sister pounded me when I joked about hers."

Kel's friends tried not to be like everyone else, but it was too difficult. Despite Neal's warnings to Owen and the rest of the boys, all throughout the day's classes, they caught each other sneaking glances at Kel's newly defined chest. It was even worse at supper, when Kel wore her customary dress. There was no way that any of the male pages could miss that she most definitely was female after all.

Lord Wyldon and Neal were the only ones who noticed the new charm which hung around Kel's neck and disappeared below the neckline of her dress. The training master knew exactly what the charm signified and he sighed wearily and ordered a cup of willow tea to relieve his newly-forming headache. The green-eyed healer-in-training also knew what the charm was and his understanding of its importance made _him_ blush.

* * *

_"Queenscove, do not try me," Wyldon said, clear warning in his voice. His eyes were on Kel. To her, he stated, "You use weighted practice weapons."_

_Kel made no reply._

_"How long have you done this?"_

_How could she forget? On the day the first-years began to train with the lance, Joren had made sure that Kel got a lance three times heavier than the normal ones. "Since the first week on lance, my lord," Kel replied evenly._

_"All of your weapons, not the lance alone?" Wyldon inquired. Neal had told him all, but it seemed he wanted to hear it from Kel._

_"It was too strange after a while, going from a weighted lance to a lighter staff and practice sword and ax," she explained. "It works better if they're weighted, too."_

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Lord Wyldon sat at his desk and tried to compose his thoughts. Earlier that day, when the Mindelan girl kept missing the quintain target, he had thought that the girl finally had gone 'boy-crazy' and that she didn't have her mind on her training. He suspected that she fancied the Queenscove lad, and that irritated him for some reason. Wyldon was flabbergasted when he found out that it wasn't a boy Page Keladry was worried about, but instead it was a too-light lance that vexed her. The usually observant training master had a difficult time comprehending how it had escaped his notice that the girl had worked with _weighted_ training weapons for over two years. No boy that he knew of had ever done such a thing - at least, not voluntarily. Once again, with her skills, talent and humility, Keladry of Mindelan had caught Wyldon off guard. Oh, how he wished she had been born a boy!

x-x-x-x-x

Kel soaked in her hot bath before lunch and thought about the incident of the shattered lance and its aftermath of Lord Wyldon discovering her use of weighted practice weapons. She also surprised herself by thinking of the beautiful blond boy who had given her the heavy lance in the first place. Kel had not thought about Joren for a long time, although she supposed she should thank him because she now had confidence in her abilities to handle all manner of real weapons. Then she recalled the way Joren had starved her when he was her sponsor and the all-out brawls she had with him before they were forced to be study partners. Joren could be such a donkey's backside, she thought. But in spite of all the trouble he had caused her, Kel still hoped the new squire was doing well on his training missions with his knight-master. Perhaps time away from the palace and his mean-spirited friends would change Joren for the better. Kel certainly hoped so.

x-x-x-x-x

Far to the south, Squire Joren sat on his cot inside of his tent, taking a break from the midday sun. He had grown accustomed to the intense heat of the days and the chilliness of the nights, and he felt more relaxed than ever, even after the skirmishes with the haggard bandits who harassed the local shepherds. Sir Paxton frequently complimented Joren on his combat skills and taught him some new techniques with the sword and the ax. On this autumn day, Joren had been trying to read one of Mero's documents about the primitive, but effective iron and stone weapons the local people made to protect themselves. Some of the sketches of these weapons reminded Joren of sketches from another book - a book about swords that he had read the previous summer. Thinking about the sword book led to thoughts about the girl who had given him the book. He did not want to admit it, not even to himself, but there was a lot to like about the girl - when she wasn't fighting him, of course. Joren decided to stop reading and took a nap instead. He dreamt uneasily of green-hazel eyes and swift kicks to the gut.

* * *

_"Listen, Keladry ..." He looked down as if trying to decide what to say. At last he looked up, and gave her a disarming smile. "We got off on the wrong foot."... "Sir Paxton, my knight-master, was quite firm about my usual behavior. He gave me cause to think, and to review the things I have said and done." ... "What I am trying to say is that I would like to start fresh with you, if I may."... "I would like to be friends," he said. _

_Kel turned to give him her best, most meaningless, social smile. "That would be pleasant," she said, and left him._

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Neal was very suspicious of Joren's motives for wanting a fresh start with Kel. It irritated him that his friend seemed to be so trusting of her former nemesis. Neal had observed the way Joren watched Kel from the squires' side of the mess hall. He did not like the look of secret longing he saw on Stone Mountain's face. Neal knew that look - it was the same look he had seen on Cleon's face when the big red-headed squire had returned from the north and he noticed how much of a young lady Kel was becoming. It was the same look Neal knew was on his own face when he found himself thinking about Kel in not-so-brotherly ways.

* * *

_Vinson backed up another step. He was in the wrong in every way. By palace law the maids were to be left alone: violators were brought before the chamberlain. In chivalry, servants were under a master's protection and could not be interfered with unless the master gave permission. No one would argue with Kel's dueling over this. _

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Joren looked at his wretched friend with pity and tried to hide his disgust. It was horrible enough that Keladry had caught Vinson in the act of harassing her maid, but worse that his ravaged face was evidence the gangly squire couldn't deny. Joren thought that his own dalliance with a maid who was completely willing and eager was one thing; but that Vinson's trying to force himself upon a disagreeable and resisting maid was rather pathetic. And since Joren had been attempting to befriend the girl page for whom the attacked maid worked, the only thing Joren could do was to recommend a healer in Corus who might be willing to fix Vinson's face without reporting him to the authorities. Then the blond squire decided it was time to distance himself from his very troubled friend.

* * *

_"I have a letter to Anders," she said. "Shall I get it?"_

_"I'll go with you if it's all the same," Cleon said. "I need to pack yet tonight." He said his farewells to his other friends, tugged Neal's ear ''for luck," he claimed, and followed Kel back to her rooms.'_

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Kel was surprised when Neal came to her door shortly after Cleon left. He asked her if he could talk to her privately, which meant away from Lalasa. Since they were headed back to the study group anyway, Neal suggested they take a seldom-used stairway which came up behind their library.

"Okay, Neal, out with it," Kel stopped just shy of the landing that divided the staircase in half. "You've been acting awfully strange for a while, and what's with all the secrecy? What's going on?"

"I ... I have to ... know something," Neal said hesitantly and pushed his fingers through his brown hair. "That _charm_ ... why do you wear ... that ... that charm now? Is it because of anyone ... in particular?"

Kel was grateful for the shadows cast by the torches on the wall and hoped that Neal could not see how red her face was. She stammered, "I ... uh ... my mother thought ... well ... she said I should wear ... _it_ ... now that ... IcanhavebabiesifIwantedtobutIdon't." She quickly spoke the last words all together and felt as though she was dying of embarrassment.

"Oh," Neal said and it was his turn to feel horribly embarrassed. "I just thought that ... when Cleon left the library ... it seemed like you and Cleon-"

"_Cleon_?" Kel interrupted. "You thought that ... _Cleon and I_? Nealan of Queenscove! I'm only _twelve_! Just because I ... what I mean is ... Goddess!" Kel turned toward the wall and wished she could disappear. How could Neal think that she and Cleon would be together in that way? She was completely mortified.

So was Neal. He knew he had let his silly jealousy and suspicions get the best of him, and now he had insulted his best friend. He searched his mind for a way to make things right with her. "Kel ... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to ... you're like ... a sister to some of us ... but I ..." The words died on his lips when Kel turned around and looked at him with such pain in her eyes that he couldn't speak anymore.

"I _know_," she said softly, looking sadly into his emerald-green eyes. "I know you see me as your 'little sister', and I've accepted that for a long time because I don't want to risk losing your friendship. But if _you_ of all people honestly think that I could ... be with anyone other than you, then I guess we always were destined just to be friends. Very good frien--"

Neal shut Kel up by covering her mouth with his own. Neither of them closed their eyes and for a moment she was very still, but then she kissed him back. Kel kept waiting for the warm, tingly sensations her sisters giggled about all last summer to wash over her, but that didn't happen. Instead, Neal released his hold on her, stepped back and bit on his lower lip worriedly. Kel continued to look into his eyes and then ... they both burst out laughing.

"Oh, no!" Kel said through her gasps. "It's like ... it's like I really _am_ your sister!"

Neal held his hurting sides and cried from laughing so hard. "Mithros! All this time ... I can't believe it! This is so ... absurd!"

By the time the two confirmed best friends regained control of themselves enough to return to the library, the final bell rang, signaling the end of the study period. They hugged - in a friendly, familial way - and decided they'd better get to their rooms quickly to finish up their homework on their own before lights out. Neither of them had noticed the lone, blond figure at the end of the hallway when they came laughing out of the stairwell together. While both Neal and Kel had the best night's sleep either of them had had in a long time, Joren did not sleep well at all.

* * *

_Summer camp that year was tame. There were no spidren nests, no outlaws. Lord Wyldon took them north on a sixteen-day ride into the mountains around fiefs Aili, Stone Mountain and Dunlath. ... In this rugged country there were cliffs everywhere. Kel handled them: the weeks of practice since Midwinter had been a good idea. She did not spend her thirteenth birthday throwing up due to fright. She decided that this was a good thing._

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Kel stood on the edge of a cliff which overlooked a beautiful river valley and mapped her assigned sector. Thousands of tiny white flowers dotted the landscape in between the rocks, but she did not sketch them in. Looking overhead, the blueness of the sky reminded her of ... something. It was not until much later, after she rejoined her fellow pages back at their camp site that she realized what she was thinking.

"Hey, Kel, that's a really good one this time!" Merric looked over her shoulder and complimented her work. "Who would've thought that you'd be able to stand on a cliff and draw a map without throwing up?"

"Thanks, Merric, I think." Kel blushed. "It's not so bad anymore. As long as I have a solid place to stand, I'm ... okay."

"Page Keladry, may I see your map, please?" Kel trotted over to Lord Wyldon and handed in her paper. The training master nodded his approval and told her she could tend to her horse now. Kel smiled and ran down the hill to the flat pasture where they had built a corral for their horses.

Neal already was there, grooming his horse. He looked up and grinned at her. Once upon a time, that grin would have sent Kel's heart into wild fluttering, but now she just grinned in return and went to Peachblossom to give him the apple she had saved from her lunch. The gelding greeting his mistress eagerly, knowing she had a treat for him.

"So ... the Stump finally let you go," Neal drawled. "You're getting better - it only took you _two_ extra attempts this afternoon."

Kel scowled. "Peachblossom, bite him. You know I still don't like heights, but I'm dealing with them as best as I can."

"How can you not delight in such beauty all around?" Neal asked, holding his arms out and gesturing to the sky and the mountains behind them. "It makes you wonder what happened here at Stone Mountain to make Joren turn out so mean."

Kel blinked. Of course! Joren's eyes - the sky above the mountains made her think of Joren's impossibly beautiful blue eyes. Suddenly, she felt a little strange standing on the ground of Joren's home fief. She hadn't felt that way when Lord Wyldon led them past the huge castle which was Joren's family home. Somehow, only now did she think of Stone Mountain as being the place where Joren was born and raised. Kel wondered along with Neal - what could have happened in young Joren's life that turned him into such a jerk at times?

Then Kel remembered her own brother, Conal, who also was quite a jerk. As far as she could tell, Kel's parents treated each of their nine children equally, and yet Conal was not as friendly or as nice as her other siblings. Perhaps, she thought, some people were born mean and some people became mean as they grew up. And then Kel thought that maybe, just maybe, one of those mean people - namely, Joren - with a little more help from her- could change for the better.

* * *

_Kel's two-month holiday passed quickly as it always did. ... The brightest spot was two weeks spent with her parents in Port Caynn, picnicking on beaches and in the countryside. With Adalia to marry ... and Oranie betrothed, both to husbands they helped to choose, Piers and Ilane of Mindelan wanted time with Kel. _

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

"Mama, _please_ ... tell Kel not to cut her hair until _after _my wedding," Adalia pleaded with Ilane. "It's only three more days! Kel can cut it short again after that. Tell her she'll still have time to chop it off before she has to go back to the palace. I really need for Kel to look as proper as we can manage. Mama, you know how conservative Mero's family is!"

Lady Ilane looked from Kel to Adie and back again before she smiled slyly. She knew her youngest daughter had been teasing her soon-to-be-married sister in a way that only a little sister could pull off. "Sweetheart, it's only a few more days," she addressed Kel, who was holding a pair of scissors. "And Adie, Kel's hair really is not much longer than usual. It just seems that way to you because you haven't seen her all summer. The only reason she didn't cut it while we were down in Port Caynn is that I forgot my hair-cutting scissors here at Mindelan. I'm sure we can work a fashionable miracle on Kel's short locks with plenty of lotion and pins and combs. Now, I want both of you to wash up for supper. Your father is waiting for us."

Kel made a show of putting away the scissors and washing her hands. Adie thanked her profusely for her cooperation and then they both followed their mother down to the dining room. Kel's brother, Anders and his wife, Inness' wife, and Kel's sister and brother, Oranie and Avinar already were there, chatting with each other and with Baron Piers. Orie was going on and on about her own betrothal to Ortien of Hannalof, until Ilane silenced her with a look. Kel was very happy for her sisters. She had not met either of the men who would become her brothers-in-law, but she knew that her sisters were quite pleased with the matches their father had made for them.

Marriage and babies were not the most important things on Kel's mind. In fact, regardless of the charm she wore around her neck, the girl page did not want to think about such things at all. Her biggest concern was the matter of who might be willing to take her on as a squire when the time came. In Kel's mind, the knights' selection of squires was just as nerve-wracking as the betrothal process had been for her sisters. She knew she still had to make it through one more year as a page and then pass her big exams before she really needed to worry. Kel only hoped that she wouldn't be left behind at the palace, undesirable and unwanted when she became a squire - just like a bride left at the altar on her wedding day.

* * *

**A/N: And that's how I handled the time jump! I know, I know - it's death by ellipses and italics. I have a hard time with portraying vocal patterns on flat media. BTW, I got the names of Kel's siblings and in-laws from a 'TP canon reference' website, so I feel pretty good about making other family connections within my storylines. Also, in more deviations from the book, Kel's mom gets her a pregnancy charm earlier and I moved up Adie's wedding to the summer instead of during Midwinter. You'll see why very soon. I look forward to your reviews. Thanks! :D**


	15. Stable Talk

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: This started out as a 'filler' chapter, but it turned into something quite a bit longer. Thanks for your reviews - I'm trying to keep up with answering all the questions you've asked and, as you'll see, I'll sometimes write them into the story as I go along. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Wyldon was coming down the hall. Boys joined him as he passed, talking quietly. One of them was a boy with white-blond hair and blue eyes, set in a face as rosy-cheeked as a girl's. Kel, seeing the crispness of his movements and a stubbornness around his mouth, guessed that anybody silly enough to mistake that one for a girl would be quickly taught his mistake. A big, cheerful-looking redheaded boy walked on Wyldon's left, joking with a very tall, lanky youth. _

_--Tamora Pierce, __First Test_

* * *

**Stable Talk**

Squire Cleon of Kennan was just finishing grooming his knight-master's horse when he saw a familiar face enter the stable. He knew that most of his friends despised and distrusted the blond-haired, blue-eyed squire, but Cleon remembered what it had been like for Joren when they were first-year pages. The big redheaded squire understood how the tired-looking traveler leading two horses and a pack mule could have become so cruel; therefore, Cleon was not surprised that Joren had hated Kel so much in the beginning.

Because he always had been big for his age, the senior pages usually hazed Cleon by sending him on silly, time-wasting errands. No one dared to haze Prince Roald in a physical way, either. But Joren was a different matter altogether. Everyone knew that Stone Mountain was one of the wealthiest fiefs in the realm and that Joren was the only son of a powerful lord. The beautiful blond page had arrived at the palace dressed in an elegant tunic and possessing a personal servant and a horse. Unfortunately, when Joren was ten years old, he looked so much like a girl, that several of the older pages hazed him by calling him 'the Girl' for a while.

* * *

_**Flashback to five years earlier**_

"Phew! You first-years really stink!" Exclaimed a third-year page - one of many that year with a fondness for hazing. "Get in that water, you filthy maggots! We don't want lunch to be delayed on account of you dung piles."

"My good fellows, I fear that we cannot bathe yet today," proclaimed a second third-year bully with a Player's flair. "There is still a _girl_ in our midst and it would be _most_ improper for us to be naked in front of her." He dramatically pointed at Joren, who blushed furiously, and that caused more hooting and whistles from the jokesters.

"Aw, look at her," said a different bully. "She's so pwetty when she turns pwink!"

Joren ignored the bullies and tried to get into the steaming water with his fellow first-years, but he wasn't quick enough.

"Not so fast there, _miss_," the first bully grabbed Joren's hair, which had been pulled back into a horsetail, and then brandished a pair of scissors. "We believe we can clear up this unfortunate circumstance by giving you the right hairstyle. Yours is much too girlish."

"That's right," the second bully grinned evilly, "with a proper, _manly_ haircut, we won't mistake you for a girl anymore and everyone may bathe in peace." He came up behind the now-naked Joren and held his arms tightly while the 'barber' cut off the horsetail of hair and chopped the rest of Joren's hair just above his ears. It was the worst haircut of the boy's life, even if it did make him look less like a girl.

Some of the older pages had gathered around to watch the first bully make a mess of Joren's beautiful hair, while most of the other first-years hurriedly finished their baths and dressed quickly so they could escape similar fates. No one knew for sure if there were other targets or when the bullying of one person would turn into total group harassment.

"There, now," said the 'barber' as he nodded his approval of the butchered haircut. "That's much better. Hmm ... it looks like we've still got to do something about that sweet little face of yours."

Joren braced himself for what he knew was coming next; he already had experienced several blackened eyes from other bullies' attempts to make his face less 'pretty.' When he finally entered the mess hall that afternoon, Joren held his head up high and ignored the snickering of the other pages. His cold glare, though, prevented anyone from making a comment.

_**End Flashback**_

* * *

Cleon never forgot the look of icy fury on young Joren's face that awful day of the butchered haircut. There were other incidents of physical hazing but that had to have been the worst. He sometimes wondered if Joren became the best at unarmed combat because of his early experiences as a new page. At that time, none of the other first-year pages, not even the prince, felt empowered to do anything about the bullies. It was a complete shock when the 'real Girl' came in and challenged the time-honored tradition of hazing the newest pages.

Now Cleon had to choose how he would behave toward his fellow squire. He decided to be friendly - after all, the past was the past and Joren seemed to want to be on good terms with everyone now. He walked over and clasped arms with the dusty squire. "What brings you this far north, Stone Mountain? It looks like you've brought quite a bit of the desert with you!"

Joren smiled wearily as he handed the reins of his and Sir Paxton's horses over to the stable hand. He gave the man a coin and thanked him for showing the animals to their assigned stalls and giving them food and water. Joren also told the man that he would groom them himself in just a moment. Sir Paxton had made it quite plain that he wanted Squire Joren to tend to the animals wherever they traveled and he knew that his knight-master would not be pleased if he shirked his duties.

"Good to see you, too, Kennan." Joren's smile was genuine - he really had made an honest effort to befriend Keladry and her friends the last time they all were at the palace together. "We've been riding hard for days - Sir Paxton and I - so that we could get here in time for Merovec's wedding. Their father took ill, and Mero sent an urgent message for his brother to stand in for the Lord of Nond. And you're right - it feels as though I brought half the desert with me in my cloak alone." He smiled ruefully as he dusted himself off.

"So ... how is it with Sir Paxton?" Cleon asked as he returned to grooming Sir Inness' gray mare. "Have you been fighting lots of bandits in the south?"

"We've had a few skirmishes, but nothing major. Honestly, I think Sir Paxton is a bit like Lord Wyldon," Joren said and Cleon gave him a look of mock horror. "But he's much more personable. Actually, it's been kind of dull in the desert since Merovec left to prepare for this wedding. He's a great storyteller." Joren let his thoughts drift to his knight-master and his brother.

Merovec of Nond actually was Sir Paxton's half-brother. Their father, the now-elderly Lord Dennyson of Nond, lost his first wife to the terrible sweating sickness that Duke Roger of Conté had sent to Corus to kill Prince Jonathan. Lord Dennyson's oldest son, Francis, as well as two of his three daughters also died in that epidemic. The Lord of Nond remarried and Merovec was much younger than Sir Paxton, who was in his early thirties. Despite their age difference, the brothers were close friends and Mero liked to entertain Paxton with his never-ending stories and bits of trivia.

Joren had missed Sir Paxton's brother when the younger Nond departed their company to prepare for his wedding to the third daughter of Baron Piers of Mindelan, Adalia. Mero had shared many of the stories that he had heard from his betrothed - stories of Adie's mother saving the Imperial Yamani treasures, stories of Adie's oldest sister's courtship and marriage to a Yamani nobleman and stories of Adie's youngest sister's quest to become the first known lady knight. Of course, Joren knew about one set of those stories, but he never had heard them from such a perspective. It was quite enlightening for Joren to hear that Kel's sisters were very worried about her prospects for making a good marriage because of her training with the boys.

"Do you like the desert heat?" Cleon interrupted Joren's wandering thoughts. "My sister writes that it can be unbearable at times."

"Your sister?" Joren asked. "Did your sister marry a Bazhir?" Joren thought that would be quite strange since the desert people tended to keep to themselves.

"Oh, no," Cleon replied matter-of-factly. "Gertie's with the Queen's Riders."

"Gertie? Is your sister in the Thirteenth Rider Group, the Razors?" Joren was astounded when Cleon nodded and smiled. "I believe I've met her!"

There were two women in the rider group that patrolled the area north of Sir Paxton's camp, but Joren had met them only briefly. At first, the chauvinistic young squire had regarded the female riders with disdain, but then he witnessed them in action during a particularly intense skirmish with some hill bandits. The local shepherds and tribesmen kept their women wrapped up behind veils, so then Joren thought there might have been a chance to romance either of the two female riders; but the reality of their missions and the distance between their camps made that impossible. Also, the fact that both of the women were several years older than Joren - and they regarded him as barely more than a boy - made him an unlikely candidate for their affections.

"Splendid! Next time you see her, tell her I said hello." exclaimed Cleon. "I haven't seen Gertie in almost two years. She had hoped to make it back to the palace when we took our big exams, but she was out on a mission. I usually get a few letters from her every year, but with me being so far up north now, mail doesn't always find me."

"That's right ... you're with Sir Inness ... of Mindelan ... on the Scanran border," Joren's tired brain was starting to make the connections. "Have you ... have you seen ... Keladry?"

"Kel? Oh, sure." Cleon said cheerfully. "She's around here somewhere. She and her sisters and all the other young ladies are staying in the manor, while all of us men folk are housed in the guest cottage. Once you take care of your horses, I'll show you where to put your things." Cleon waved his hand in front of his nose. "Phew! You could use a bath!"

"Thanks. I know." Joren said flatly. "It'll be good to be clean again!"

Suddenly, a commotion outside of the stable made both of the squires look through the open doorway and out toward a grassy field. A tall, brown-haired girl wearing a pale blue shirt and dark blue breeches ran past the stable, chased by seven or eight little children. All of them were laughing and giggling at whatever game they were playing. The girl looked very happy and relaxed, even as one of the older children pulled her to the ground and started tickling her.

"Is that ... Keladry?" Joren asked. He was completely caught off guard. He'd never seen her look so carefree. It was as though she was an entirely different person from the girl page he knew.

"Yup. That's our Kel," Cleon said proudly. "Sir Inness and I've only been here two days, but whenever Kel's shown up, she's been surrounded by what looks like a thousand of her nieces and nephews and cousins. I thought I came from a large family, but the Mindelan clan is _huge_!"

"I never knew." Joren stated and he stared out the door at the joyous scene in the field. "She looks so ... different."

"Oh, yes," agreed Cleon, smiling slyly and finished putting away the rest of his tack. "And tomorrow she'll look even more different. I can hardly wait."

"What do you mean?" Joren was perplexed. He knew his mind was working a bit too slowly, but he felt like Cleon was trying not to tell him a secret. He didn't stop working, though, because the sooner he finished with the animals, the sooner he could have a bath.

"She'll be dressed up like all the other ladies at the wedding," Cleon was still smiling and gazing off into the distance. "You know, in a frilly gown and some face paint. And there's going to be dancing and ... well ... I guess we really shouldn't think about so much. We've got to wait another year, anyway."

"What are you babbling about, Kennan?" Joren, still road-weary, was mildly irritated now, especially because he could sense that his fellow squire was smitten with the girl page. "What do we have to wait a year for? Dancing? I don't think there're any rules against squires dancing. On the contrary, isn't that why we wasted so much time in Master Oakbridge's etiquette class?"

Cleon blinked. He had forgotten that Joren was not a member of the 'Kel-is-our-sister-until-she-becomes-a-squire' pact. He hesitated to tell Joren about it because it still seemed a bit silly to him, but he figured it couldn't do any harm. Once Cleon finished telling his fellow squire about the agreement though, he realized he probably had just made a very big mistake. Now Joren had the oddest expression on his face.

"So ... what you're saying is that ... _none_ of you has ever-" Joren paused, thinking about the night he saw Kel and Neal emerging from the stairwell. "She's still ... a _maiden_?"

Cleon's face turned red with anger and he walked over to Joren with his fists balled up. "How _dare_ you? How dare you insult a lady of this fine House? I ought to ... What is _wrong _with you, Stone Mountain?"

"Sorry! Forget I said anything!" Joren held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "It's just that ... we all thought ... well ... come on, Cleon, you know what everyone has always said about Keladry's reasons for coming to train with us. Don't be so angry."

"Is _that _why you were trying to get so close to Kel when we were back at the palace?" Cleon now was suspicious of Joren as the blond squire returned to grooming his mare. "You thought to have her for yourself, too, didn't you? I should have known. It's bad enough that I must watch out for Neal and the other fellows, but I'm warning you now Stone Mountain: do not think to press for an advantage here. I will be watching you."

"You're delusional, Kennan." Joren deflected. "What's so special about her that you would threaten me?" Then he smiled knowingly at Cleon. "So ... you want her for yourself, then? That's it, isn't it? If Keladry becomes a squire, you actually intend to court her, don't you?"

"_When_ Kel becomes a squire, yes, I do." declared Cleon, not caring anymore if Joren knew of his future plans. "And I'll tell you what so special about her: she's bright, she's kind, she's funny and she can ride and fight and she's tall enough that I don't have to strain my neck looking down at her. None of the ladies at Court can compare to Kel. Have you ever tried to discuss battle tactics or Shang fighting with any of _those _girls? It's impossible!"

"I usually don't waste my breath," Joren drawled sarcastically as he finished grooming his mare and put away his tack. "_Talking _is not what I like to do with girls."

Cleon came over and stood very close to Joren and looked down at him menacingly. "That's all the more reason why I'll be watching you tomorrow. Now come on, I'll show you to our rooms. You really do stink, you know, and it's almost time for lunch."

* * *

**A/N: Tee-hee! I just love working on character development. ^_^ I'm also working on the next chapter as fast as I can. Please R & R. Thanks!**


	16. A Wedding at Mindelan

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Happy Holidays! I am back at the keyboard after having visited my wonderful relatives in the next state over. I enjoyed all the fun, food, and gifts, but it's always great to be home. There's a tiny bit of fluff tucked into this huge chapter as my gift to the faithful readers who love that sort of thing. And there's a bunch of stuff about medieval weddings that I crammed in, too. Hope it's not too boring. Again, thanks for your reviews - they're the best gift you can give me in return! Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_When Cleon talks to us, he doesn't do that." Seaver frowned at Cleon. "You don't call us 'rose' or 'pearl.' If you don't talk to us like that, you shouldn't do it to her."_

_"She's as good as us," added Owen. "You don't have to treat her like a _girl._"_

_Kel hid her face in her hands._

_"But she is a girl," protested Cleon. "A tall, glorious sunrise of a girl, a -" He stopped, blinked, and, astonishingly, turned red. "Sorry, Kel."_

_--Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

**A Wedding at Mindelan**

"Step, step, twirl, step, hop once and clap three times to the right. Step, step, twirl, step, hop again and clap three times to the left. Right hands raised to the middle and joined, then walk around the circle to the left. Stop and swish your skirts to the left and then to the right. Come on, Kel, stay with the tempo of the music as it speeds up and don't forget to smile! Do it again! Step, step, twirl, step, jump, clap three times..."

Oranie's directions echoed through Kel's mind as she concentrated on the dance steps that her sister had drilled into her with the same toughness as Sergeant Ezeko. Kel was a little girl the last time she had attended a wedding and Adalia's marriage ceremony would be very different from the Yamani ceremony her oldest sister, Patricine, had when she married a Yamani nobleman. It came as a complete and unpleasant surprise to Kel that her sisters expected her to learn some specific dances - such as the 'Maidens' Dance' - and be able to perform them with the other young ladies in attendance at the upcoming wedding.

"Orie, this is dumb!" Kel had protested. "I don't see why I have to learn this dance. Isn't it good enough that I'll be wearing face paint and that my hair will be piled on top of my head like yours?"

"No, you have to do this and it has to look right," insisted the older girl. "Once you learn it, I know you'll never forget how to do it, and then I can relax about you being able to dance at _my_ wedding later this year. We all know that you can remember everything you've ever done - from handling a glaive to riding a horse. This should be easy for you. Now do as I say!"

"But, Orie, this is pointless!" Kel tried again to get out of her 'emergency' dancing lessons. "Papa is never going to have to present me at Court, so what does it matter if I don't dance with the other maidens. What if ... what if I promise to smile all night and sit there politely, just like a proper young lady? You said that no one is going to ask me to dance anyway, so why can't I just go rest and relax?"

"You promised to learn this dance! Besides, you're not even close to being tired," Orie scowled. "I've seen you practicing your glaive work with Mama and running all around here with the children and still not be tired. This is just dancing! If you had attended the convent school with the rest of us girls, you already would know what you're supposed to be doing."

Kel rolled her eyes and sighed. Oranie often tried to make her feel guilty about doing something as unconventional as trying to become a lady knight. She told Kel stories of other girls being mean to her and Adie and their cousins at the convent because of the girl page's un-ladylike behavior. Apparently, the girls could inflict quite a bit of damage upon one another in their own versions of hazing. Kel knew there was no way her sister would let up now; stubbornness was a strong Mindelan family trait.

"Oh, alright," Kel sighed. "I'll do it one more time. But that's it - I'm finished after that!"

"Trust me, Kel; someday you'll thank me - maybe even tomorrow." Orie was smiling now. "Besides, what if someone _is_ crazy enough to ask you to dance, hmm? Do you want us all to be embarrassed by your lack of proper training? I've even seen your hero, _Sir _Alanna the Lioness, dance with her husband - if she can do it, so can you. Now, once more from the top: step, step, twirl, step..."

Kel already had learned several types of dances and she even knew how to perform both the men's _and_ the women's steps to every dance that Master Oakbridge insisted the pages and squires learn. Obviously, the 'Maidens' Dance' was not included in their etiquette class, so Kel's sisters had convinced their mother that they could teach the girl page all the movements to that dance in time for the post-wedding festivities. Kel reminded herself again that she was very happy for Adie, even though she could hardly wait for the whole event to be over.

* * *

It was obvious to Joren that Merovec was very much in love with his bride-to-be and all of her family, even though one member of that family had almost wrecked the betrothal negotiations. When they were in the desert, he couldn't stop talking about the beautiful and intelligent Adalia of Mindelan. Apparently, Lady Florzile, the Nond family matriarch, initially objected to the match because of Adalia's sister, the 'infamous' Page Keladry. It had taken several grand ball appearances and a few private tea times for Adie to win over the 'old dragon lady' but everyone at Nond House loved her now, in spite of her 'uncouth' sister. Joren wondered if any of the Nond relatives would dare to make a fuss about Keladry during the wedding celebration here at Mindelan. That certainly would make things more interesting.

Joren had been a little boy the last time he attended a wedding and since his sister had eloped, he did not know exactly what to expect at such an event. The morning of the wedding, Sir Paxton gave his squire a brief overview of the marriage ceremony's sequence of events and that helped him feel a bit more confident about his duties for the day.

"As the 'best man'," Sir Paxton explained, "I am here to support Merovec and keep him calm, represent my father and vouch for Nond House's support of this marriage, sign the official documents, and certify that the marriage had been consummated. After that, the real festivities may begin."

Joren digested that last bit of information, "So you ... you have to _watch_ them? And the feast has to wait until ... after?"

"Goddess, no!" Paxton laughed. "That _was_ necessary back in the ancient days, when we had to steal our brides from their often disapproving families, but it's no longer required in these modern times. Thank all the gods that the only thing I must do is wait outside the bridal chamber. Mero will hand me the sheet afterward."

"The sheet?" Joren asked, feeling completely ignorant about the whole affair.

Paxton laughed some more. "Surely you know how ... _certain things_ are done. The common folk are much less concerned about all this, but we nobles still like to verify that the bride was in fact a virgin at the time of the marriage. There will, of course be ... evidence."

Joren turned red with embarrassment. "I had no idea it would be like this."

"My father told me that when he married my mother, there was a Mithran priest behind a curtain in the room with them the entire time." Paxton shook his head at the memory. "Back then, he explained to me, the Daughters of the Goddess and their priestess would parade around with the blood-stained sheet and perform a little fertility dance before the feast could begin. Nowadays, all I have to do is show the sheet to the priest and then the young ladies will have their 'Maidens' Dance' to announce the happy occasion. It's much less embarrassing for everyone."

"Mithros!" was all Joren could say.

"Indeed." Paxton agreed. "That's why some couples elope - they do not wish to expose the fact that the bride was not a virgin at the beginning of their marriage. It's perfectly legal, but not quite acceptable to everyone. Old traditions die hard, especially among the high nobility. The rules are still quite strict for royal newlyweds."

Joren said nothing, but he was thinking about his sister, Anniseth, and the way her elopement angered their father. It shamed him to think that people probably assumed that Anniseth was not a virgin. Then he thought about his fellow squire, Prince Roald, the poor man. Joren would hate to be him on his wedding night. Serving as Sir Paxton's squire was providing Joren with more of an education than he ever would have guessed.

"After I confirm that our Houses have been joined in every way possible, Mero and Adalia will come back out and preside over the banquet." Paxton continued. "There will be many toasts and speeches to honor them and our families and I probably won't need you to attend to me once the dancing begins. I plan on turning in early, so you will be free to enjoy yourself."

"Yes, sir," Joren said with a big smile on his face. "Thank you, sir!"

Sir Paxton recognized the look of too much anticipation on Joren's face and decided to warn him sternly. "Just remember, squire - these are young noble ladies, not chambermaids. Treat them with honor and respect. I will not tolerate any misbehavior on your part. Understand?"

Joren nodded and looked properly subdued, "I understand, sir. I will be on my best behavior."

"See to it that you are," Paxton replied stiffly. "Now finish getting ready and meet me in the chapel. Ask the kitchen staff for a pitcher of water and some cups. It's going to be hot in that chapel today and I'm certain that Mero had too much ale last night." Then the knight left the cottage.

x-x-x-x-x

Squires Cleon and Joren checked their appearance in the mirror one final time before they left the guest cottage to wait upon their knight-masters. Joren scowled at his reflection. The brown and yellow colors looked fabulous on the dark-eyed brunette men of Nond, but they did not look so great on the blue-eyed blond Joren. The Mindelan colors of dusty blue, gray and cream, which Cleon was wearing proudly and well, would have looked much better on Joren, whose own family colors - sky blue, black and white - more closely resembled Kel's family colors than he had realized. He felt a sudden surge of jealousy toward the handsomely dressed redhead, but suppressed it just as quickly. Joren reminded himself that he was here to serve Sir Paxton and not to look good for a bunch of ladies.

* * *

The afternoon marriage ceremony between Merovec of Nond and Adalia of Mindelan was a lovely affair, even though Mero was a nervous wreck by the time everyone was in their proper places at the chapel. Paxton tried his best to calm his brother, but the late summer day was very warm and the young men who were Mero's friends had celebrated with him a bit too long into the night. Joren made sure that there was a full pitcher of water available to Sir Paxton and his brother, as well as plenty of drying cloths to wipe away sweat. Otherwise, all the squire had to do was to stand nearby and be prepared to fetch anything else that his knight-master might need.

Both Merovec and Sir Paxton looked magnificent in their brown velvet tunics over yellow satin shirts and hose, as they waited at the altar for Baron Piers to escort Adie down the aisle of the Mindelan family chapel. Lalasa had designed the bridal dresses with tradition in mind. Adie's soft blue gown symbolized her virtue, as well as her purity. Orie, the maid of honor, wore a pale yellow gown with brown trimmings and accents, which honored the House of Nond's colors very nicely.

At the front of the chapel, Kel stood with her mother and the rest of her family and she was glad that Neal and her other friends would not see her all dressed up like this. She wore a lovely gown which Lalasa designed to honor the Mindelan colors. The light-weight fabric of the bodice and skirt was a pale gray, the gauzy sleeves were dusty blue and the lace around the neckline and hems was cream-colored. Oranie had applied a modest amount of face paint to Kel's lips and eyelids and it made Kel look a bit older than her thirteen years.

As promised, Kel wore her hair piled on top of her head in ringlets in the same fashion as all of the other young ladies in attendance. Her hair was too short for her ringlets to hang down very far, but Lalasa and Tian, Adie's maid, were able to work a minor miracle by using a special lotion to stiffen the hair and an abundance of hair pins to hold it swept up. Never before had Kel's head been so uncomfortable, not even when she was being beaten with a staff on the practice court. She declared that she would not allow her hair to be abused like this again for Orie's wedding, no matter how much her sister pleaded with her.

x-x-x-x-x

In the frenzy of all the final preparations, Kel completely forgot about Cleon's presence as her brother's squire. She groaned inwardly when she saw her tall, redheaded friend standing next to Inness. Cleon's eyes widened and he smiled brightly when he saw Kel. She knew she was blushing and her mind was racing as she tried to figure out how she was going to convince Cleon to keep quiet about her appearance. Kel knew her task would be difficult because she saw that her friend was blushing, too.

Kel had not seen Joren when she ran past the stable with all the children. In fact, she knew nothing about Sir Paxton and Joren's arrival because there were so many guests that the males were housed separately and had eaten their supper at a later time than the ladies had the previous evening. So it was a complete shock to Kel when she noticed the blond squire standing near Sir Paxton on the opposite side of the chapel. Thankfully, Joren had not yet noticed her, so she tried her best to stand in such a way that her taller brothers shielded her from the squire's view. Kel was certain that after she explained her wishes, Cleon could be trusted not to tell their friends about the way she looked today, but she had very little confidence that Joren would be willing to keep his mouth shut.

x-x-x-x-x

When the wedding celebration transitioned from feasting to dancing, Kel was determined not to embarrass herself or her family. This was Kel's first time to dance with the other maidens, but it would not be her last - Oranie's wedding would take place at Midwinter in Corus. Baron Piers intended to be preside over his both of daughters' weddings before he and his wife returned to the Yamani Islands to finalize a new royal betrothal agreement.

The weather was so nice that the dancing area was set up outside of the great hall in the adjacent gardens. Kel blended right in with Oranie and their female cousins as they all performed the 'Maidens' Dance' and she surprised herself by having a good time. Kel knew that she had done well when Adie smiled and winked at her from her table where she and Mero were sitting. Everyone was happy with the special dance and Kel was relieved that it finally was over. Now all she had to do was survive the regular dancing.

x-x-x-x-x

Joren watched the 'Maidens' Dance' with great interest; he had been looking for Kel, but he did not see her until all the young ladies started to dance in a circle in the middle of the garden. When he saw Cleon's intense gaze following a particular maiden as she gracefully danced along with the other girls, he realized that she was indeed Page Keladry of Mindelan. Joren barely recognized the young lady wearing a light gray dress with her brown hair piled on top of her head and her lips painted red. Cleon informed him that Kel would be attired like all the other ladies, but Joren had a mental picture of the girl page in the drab gowns that she always wore to supper at the palace mess hall. He never would have imagined the vision he saw today. Joren couldn't take his eyes off of Kel and he noticed that Cleon couldn't either.

All the flattering things that Cleon had said about Kel flooded into Joren's mind. The big redhead was right - Kel was special and there were no other ladies like her in the entire realm. No one who didn't already know her would guess that this lovely young lady was the same girl who was causing such uproar by trying to earn her shield. It was the first time that Joren really saw that Kel possessed a certain kind of beauty. Suddenly he remembered the time right after he volunteered to be her sponsor and she had wanted to see the palace rose gardens. Oh, how he had hated her then, but now ... now he had seen her here, in these gardens, as the lady she could be someday if she no longer was a page. Joren realized at that moment, with a mixture of excitement and dread that he could fall in love with _this_ version of Keladry of Mindelan very easily.

A strange little thought started to form in the back of Joren's mind. What if Keladry was no longer in training to become a knight? What if she had to be this lady-version of herself all the time? She still would be able to carry a decent conversation and ride and hunt and all the things that made her a great potential mate. Joren chafed at the thought that he had not been successful in getting Kel thrown out after the first two years, but what if he was able to make something happen so that she never became a squire. He'd have to be extremely careful so that she wouldn't suspect him of being responsible for her failure. Cleon had said he intended to court Kel when she became a squire. Joren became more and more certain that he needed to make a move before that happened. He wanted Kel for himself, as his lady.

x-x-x-x-x

"Thank you for the dance, Cleon." Kel curtsied to her tall friend. She had danced with several men already, though most of them were her relatives, and she knew that Oranie would have a smug 'I-told-you-so' expression on her face. "And thank you for agreeing to keep this quiet. It's bad enough knowing that when I go back to the palace, there will be a new group of first-years gawping at me. I don't want my friends trying to imagine what I looked like here today."

Cleon smiled down at her and brought her hand up to his lips to kiss it. "Believe me, Kel, I don't want them sitting around trying to imagine you like this either." The redheaded squire wished he could keep this beautiful vision of Kel all to himself, but he knew that Joren was lurking around somewhere, waiting for a chance to ask Kel to dance. "And I'll figure out a way to convince our blond friend to stay quiet, too. I have a feeling he might just agree to go along. Don't worry - neither Joren nor I will be back at the palace until close to Midwinter, anyway."

"I really appreciate it," Kel blushed as Cleon's lips brushed lightly against the back of her hand, even though she knew it didn't mean anything - all the men kissed the ladies' hands at the end of a dance. It was the polite thing to do. "It means a lot to me."

x-x-x-x-x

No sooner had Cleon let go of Kel's hand when Joren tapped her on the shoulder and asked for the next dance. She knew that the song was much faster and longer than the previous songs and Kel already was starting to get tired. It would be impolite to refuse, but Kel found that she did not want to refuse. She remembered her earlier thoughts about being nicer to Joren in an attempt to help him be nicer in return. She figured she could start now, and perhaps, once she explained her dilemma to him, Joren also would agree not to tell anyone about her complete makeover for the wedding.

"I was surprised to see you here, Squire Joren," Kel began a polite conversation as they started to dance around the garden with the other couples. "I knew that Sir Paxton was your knight-master, but I suppose I just didn't connect him or you with my sister's new husband. Are you having a pleasant time?"

Joren looked into Kel's eyes and saw that they were mostly brown. "Yes, I am having a very pleasant time. Fief Mindelan is very nice; it's different from what I expected." He wanted to do something to get her eyes to change color, but he wasn't sure what he could get away with just yet. He spied a tall hedge and decided to dance his way toward it.

"I suppose it would be a bit of a let-down," Kel spoke carefully, following his lead, "especially after I saw _your _home fief this summer. Lord Wyldon took us north for our camp training this year and we stayed in some caves on your lands. Stone Mountain is gorgeous!" Kel's eyes sparkled when she remembered the beauty of the mountains and that piqued Joren's interest.

"So ... the cliffs didn't bother you?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Kel sighed. "I still don't like heights, but I'm working through my problems. It helped that the scenery up there was so grand. You must miss it a lot, especially since you're down south in the desert. Have you read any good books lately?"

"Uh, no not really," Joren admitted. "I still don't like books, either, but I've read several of Merovec's scholarly papers about the traditions and weapons of the eastern Bazhir tribes. They're actually very interesting. He's writing a book, you know."

"My sister told me about it," Kel nodded; surprised that she was having such a civilized conversion with Joren of all people. Maybe now was her chance to bring up her desire for secrecy about her looks. "Um ... Joren, this may sound strange, but I'd like to ask a favor of you."

Joren looked at her quizzically. "Hmm ... ask me and then we'll see." Now he was very curious and interested in where this could lead. They were almost to the hedge.

"Listen, Joren, about the way I look today, I'd prefer not to have anyone at the palace know about this." Kel started to explain. When she looked into his sky-blue eyes, she felt that strange flip-flopping in her stomach that had happened before with Neal, but she was determined to ignore it. "My sisters forced me into wearing my hair like this and they put face paint on me. I ... this isn't the real me. When I go back to the palace at the end of the week, I'll look the same as I always have."

"No, you already don't look the same as you always have." Joren glanced at Kel's neckline long enough for her to notice and blush. "Some things just can't be helped."

"I'm going to earn my shield." Kel declared quietly. "I'm a good page and I want to be a good squire. I don't want to be just a lady; I want to be a lady knight. I'm just not ... well, I don't want ... distractions.

"Surely, you don't expect everyone attending this wedding to keep quiet about seeing you dressed up like a proper maiden?" Joren asked. "I, for one, am quite impressed. Who knew there was such a lovely lady hiding inside the girl page?"

"I'm not hiding." Kel insisted. "It's bad enough that you and Cleon have seen me like this, but I don't want anyone else thinking of me as, you know, a girly-girl. Soon enough, I'll be back on the practice courts getting whacked with wooden wepons and tilting at the quintain."

"All of that won't stop you from becoming a woman," Joren was still smiling and it was beginning to irritate Kel. "Forget what I said when we were up on the curtain wall, and you were sketching and working on your fear of heights. The way you look right now - even though you're only, what, thirteen? - Any man, not just Cleon or Lord Raoul, would take you for a wife. Even, say ... me. It's not too late for your father to present you at Court. If you went to the convent, they'd have almost two years to get you caught up."

Kel spoke through clenched teeth. "I told you already that this dress and this hair and all is not the real me."

"I know." Joren said. "But it could be. You should think about it." He had seen that Kel's eyes were slightly greener than before, but he figured that could be from the excitement of the dance or her anger at him. Finally he gave in as a plan started to take shape in his head. "Oh, alright, so you're asking me to keep your appearance tonight ... as a lady ... a secret? Well, what do I get in return for keeping such a secret?"

Kel tried to stay very calm, but her mouth went dry and her pulse got faster. She made herself think about the fact that this was _Joren_. He always was up to something, even though he said he had changed. He wanted them to be friends now and he had been nice to her over the past several months. She figured she could handle herself if Joren was returning to his old ways, but she didn't think he would try to harm her while he was a guest at her parent's home or during an event such as this wedding celebration.

"What do you want, Joren?" Kel asked in an irritated voice. "Nothing too outlandish, I hope."

"What about another trade-off?" Joren offered, trying to keep his voice neutral. "I'll keep your secret if you'll agree to keep one of my secrets. That way, we'll both have an incentive not to tell. But I can't tell you here. We have to get away to a place where a bunch of nosy, listening ears won't hear us."

Kel thought about it for a moment and wondered if she could trust him. She recalled that their last trade-off involved Joren not reading and her not looking down from the curtain wall. Neither of them had broken their trust, so Kel had considered it to be a fair trade. She looked into Joren's eyes and saw that he seemed sincere. Kel nodded. Then he smiled his most charming smile and danced her around the corner of the hedge where they were hidden from view.

x-x-x-x-x

Joren knew he only had a moment to do what he wanted to do before Cleon or one of Kel's brothers came looking for her. But it only took a moment for him to pull Kel tight against his body and kiss her full on the lips. He felt her stiffen at first, which was what he had expected from her, but then he felt her relax and she surprised him by kissing him back. Joren's mind reeled when he realized that he wanted more, but he knew he had to stop himself, so he broke off the kiss and quickly danced Kel back around the hedge.

Kel had sensed that Joren was up to something, but she truly was curious about his secret, so she let him lead her across the garden while they danced. When Joren suddenly danced Kel around the hedge and pressed his lips to hers, every nerve in her body came alive and she instinctively knew _this _was the warm and tingly feeling her sisters had been talking about. It was completely different from the non-reaction she experienced when Neal had kissed her. Kel wanted more and so she kissed him back, but then she was frightened by the new and exciting sensations she felt and her brain screamed at her. _This is Joren! Stop it!_ She was not supposed to feel anything like this for him. Kel felt relief wash over her when Joren abruptly broke off their kiss and danced her back around the corner to where all the people were.

Both of them took a moment to breathe and get caught up in the rhythm of the dance again. Both of them were shocked at their reactions to the kiss. They did not say anything to each other. Kel could sense that people were watching her, but she refused to look around. Instead, she maintained eye contact with Joren, who was smiling again and she wanted to know why.

"I want ..." she squeaked and then cleared her throat. She whispered, "I want you to explain to me what that was about. Whatever that was, it wasn't a secret that I can keep for you."

"Oh, yes it is," Joren countered softly. He knew no one could hear what he said anyway. The dance was almost over, the music was slowing down and he had leaned forward to purr into her ear. "I could love you, Keladry of Mindelan. It is my secret desire to have you as my own. That's something I want only _you_ to know. I'll keep your secret, if you keep mine."

Kel gasped. She did not know what to say.

The music ended and she unsteadily curtsied to him. Joren's gaze did not break contact with Kel's while he brought her hand up to his lips to kiss it in the customary way. He hesitated, then turned her hand over and slowly kissed the inside of her wrist instead of the back of her hand. Right before Joren's eyes, he saw Kel's eyes widen and he watched as her irises turn greener than ever. He was looking forward to trading secrets with her.

**

* * *

**

A/N: I guess short chapters are not my specialty. ;D Please R & R. Thanks! :D


	17. Girl Talk

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Thanks again for the lovely reviews - they make me so happy! ^_^ I hope everyone is able to enjoy some time off during the holidays. At first, I was going to jump right into the next training year, but then this 'little' filler chapter popped into my head. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Kel rolled her eyes and sighed. Oranie often tried to make her feel guilty about doing something as unconventional as trying to become a lady knight. She told Kel stories of other girls being mean to her and Adie and their cousins at the convent because of the girl page's un-ladylike behavior. Apparently, the girls could inflict quite a bit of damage upon one another in their own versions of hazing. Kel knew there was no way her sister would let up now; stubbornness was a strong Mindelan family trait._

* * *

**Girl Talk**

Kel lay on her bed in the semi-darkness, willing sleep to come, but it evaded her. The light from the nearly-full moon cast interesting shadows throughout the room. She could hear her sister, Oranie, whispering and giggling with one of their many cousins, fifteen-year-old Tressa of Seabeth and Seajane, who was staying the night with them. Several wedding guests, including her cousin's parents, were sleeping off the effects of the festivities and would return to their homes in the morning.

"Have you noticed how many more of us are wearing pregnancy charms these days?" Tressa whispered. "Even girls as young as _eleven_!"

"Well, it's no mystery after that young village girl was snatched up by a centaur." replied Orie and she made the sign against evil. "I heard she tried to kill herself rather than bring another monster into the world."

"Yes, but thank the gods the healers were able to ... get rid of the ... _thing_ inside of her." Tressa said. "Still, the poor girl will never be able to bear children."

"I'd rather die," whispered Orie. "I can hardly wait to be married and have children. No one would want to marry a girl who'd been ... well, it's just a shame."

Tressa sat up in her bed and said, "I heard the Head Daughter at the convent telling one of the teachers that she thinks _every_ girl ought to wear a pregnancy charm around her neck to confuse the beastly immortals that prey on maidens, like the tauros and the centaurs. It won't stop an attack, but the monsters can't touch the magic and so a girl wearing a charm can't become pregnant by them."

Kel shuddered. She wished the other girls would be quiet, but she knew that neither the moonlight nor their chatter had anything to do with her sleeplessness. Every time she thought about Joren's kiss, Kel felt tingly all over again. She tried to make herself think of other things, but she kept remembering how her own traitorous lips had betrayed her and kissed him back. Why did she do that? Why did Joren say what he said?

Kel didn't understand what it all meant and she wasn't inclined to share this secret with anyone who might be able to help her unravel the mystery that was Joren. Her thoughts remained jumbled and she knew it was hopeless. She would have to burn off the strange energy in a different way, so she threw back her covers and began to do some push-ups next to her bed.

Tressa leaned up on one elbow to gape at the girl page exercising so vigorously. "What in the Goddess' name are you doing, cousin?"

"Oh, don't mind her," said Orie. "Kel's just trying to make sure she didn't lose any of her boyish strength by wearing a dress and some face paint today. She's always running or riding or practicing with her glaive and such. Although ... say, Kel isn't this normally part of your _morning_ routine?"

Kel stopped for a moment and gave Orie a Yamani-blank expression. "Yes, this is part of my morning routine, but I also do them when I can't sleep."

"Oh, well then, don't let us stop you," said Tressa, "I wish I could do something to help me sleep. Tonight was just so ... so _exciting_, wasn't it Orie?"

"The poor girl is besotted," Orie shook her head in mock resignation. Kel could see that she had an amused expression on her face. "It seems that Mero's brother's handsome squire - I think his name is Jared or something - has captured our dear cousin's heart."

"His name is _Joren_ - Squire Joren of Stone Mountain and he danced with me _twice_!" Tressa squealed. "That's once more than all the rest of the girls tonight!"

Orie rolled her eyes. "Apparently, this Joren fellow not only stole Tressa's heart, but also the hearts of about half of all our cousins as well. The other half was drooling over Inness' squire, Cleon of Kennan. I must say, they are quite good-looking, but I'm glad I'm already betrothed to a very nice lawyer. Squires are such flirts!"

Now Kel stopped her exercises and sat cross-legged next to her bed. She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to because Tressa launched into a detailed account of the two dances she had had with the blond squire. The dark-haired, hazel-eyed beauty babbled on about how strong Joren's arms felt and how nicely he filled out his tunic and how lovely his blue eyes were and so on. Then she giggled and wondered what it must be like to kiss such a beautiful boy as Joren. Finally, Tressa sighed and flopped back onto her pillow. Kel sat there dumbfounded for a moment and then she climbed back into her bed and quietly listened to the other girls' conversation again.

During the wedding banquet, Kel had been sitting with Orie and the other young ladies, mostly their cousins, and they were very excited about dancing with some eligible men to whom they were not related. Kel's cousin, Tressa, had asked Kel if she knew anything about the gorgeous blond squire or the tall redheaded squire, so she told everyone at the table their names and home fiefs. Two other cousins teased Kel when her face turned red after Tressa asked if she ever had kissed any of the boys while she was at the palace training.

"They see me as more of a ... sister," Kel carefully deflected. There was no point in trying to explain her 'brotherly' kiss with Neal. "It's probably better for all of us that way. There are enough ... rumors floating around as it is."

"Whenever I hear one of those rumors, I _punish_ the girl who said it," admitted Tressa, while other cousins nodded their approval. "I won't let anyone cast doubt on our cousin's good name. It's like a personal insult to the rest of us, too."

Tressa's comment had surprised Kel. She had not thought about what effect her choice to become a knight might have had on the lives of her extended family members. Then she had another thought - she knew very little about her sisters' and cousins' lives at the convent school. So she started to ask a lot of questions about the other girls' experiences and discovered all sorts of interesting things, such as the fact that there were girl bullies who were every bit as mean, and maybe meaner, than Joren had been to her. After a while, Kel just sat back and listened to the girls' gossip and comments. She'd had nothing to add and she definitely learned a lot.

Now Tressa sat up in her bed again, but this time her voice sounded more subdued. "I should give up on Joren right now, even though I just met him. You know how squires are - they chase after anything in a skirt! Besides, last year I heard Rhiannon haMinch talking about possible betrothal negotiations between her father and Stone Mountain." Tressa said with her voice full of disdain. "Everyone knows that Lord Burchard only considers families listed in the Book of Gold as acceptable matches. That's why his daughter ... well, anyway, Rhiannon wishes she wasn't so high-born. Then she could have more of a say in who she marries - you know, the way _we_ will."

That comment piqued Kel's interest, so she said, "What do you mean, 'the way we will'?"

"Oh, you're still awake? You've been so quiet over there. Don't you know?" Tressa practically sneered. "_Our_ blood's not 'blue' enough for the likes of a Stone Mountain or a Haryse."

"But our sister, Demadina, is married to Sir Gelvan haMinch," Orie pointed out. "And Adie was interested in Demi's brother-in-law, Kieran, for a while. Thankfully, Uline of Hannalof snagged him. Their wedding also was today - that's why my own betrothed, Uline's brother, Ortien, couldn't be here with me. I miss him so much!" Then Orie started blathering on about the love of her life to Tressa and Kel, but they really weren't paying much attention - they'd heard it all before.

Tressa rolled her eyes and said to Kel, "Your father has a lot of power right now, because of all his work on the Yamani treaty and such, so some of the bluer-bloods are willing to overlook our 'shallow' pedigrees. You'll find out when you're old enough to be courted."

When Kel didn't answer right away, Tressa asked, "You _are_ still planning on marriage and a family, aren't you cousin?"

"I ... I don't know," admitted Kel. "I just want my shield first. It will be quite a while before I have to worry about all that."

"Well, Sir Alanna the Lioness is married and has a family," said Tressa. "You can do that, too."

Kel was somewhat pleased that her cousin had such confidence in her, but she didn't want to talk about it, especially when she thought about Tressa's crush on the same Joren who had kissed her so suddenly and proclaimed his secret desire for her. Kel was filled with a swirl of conflicting emotions. First of all, she was angry that Joren was such a flirt - it wasn't right to lead girls on the way he seemed to be doing. Then, she couldn't help but wonder if the beautiful squire had dragged any other girl behind a hedge and kissed her, too. Obviously, he hadn't kissed Tressa, because she probably wouldn't have been able to shut up about it if he had. Also, she knew that Joren could have his pick of any female her age or older, so why should he bother with her? What if he was being sneaky again and wanted something else from her that she wasn't willing to give up any time soon?

The more she thought about this, the more disgusted she became with Joren and all the rest of her squire friends, even Cleon. As Orie and Tressa had pointed out, the realm's squires had a long-standing reputation for 'playing the field' and they were notorious for their 'conquests' before they became knights. It made Kel wonder what would happen to her friendships with her year mates when they became squires at the end of the next training year. After her funny experience with Neal, she hoped Merric and Seaver and the other boys wouldn't try to transform their friendship with her into weird little courtships. Having the older boys trying to kiss her was one thing, but it would be unbearable if the boys her own age starting acting the way Joren and Cleon were now. Kel's head began to ache and she knew that, even if she did all of her exercises, she wouldn't be getting much sleep that night.

* * *

**A/N: I was thinking about the kinds of relationships Kel might have had with the other females in her life, so I created her cousin 'Tressa' to fill part of that role. She will be making periodic appearances in future chapters. Also, about the pregnancy charms: I was reading 'Fallen' by ConfusedKnight and I though about what the Tortallans might have done to protect their daughters' virginity, or at least their fertility, when there were so many monsters preying on the maidens. That's one of the reasons I think Kel's mother might have encouraged Kel to wear a pregnancy charm right away after she had her first monthlies. She knew that Kel would be more likely to be in harm's way. That's just what I think. Please let me know what you think. Thanks! :D**


	18. Midwinter Plans

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: OMG! You all have sent me over 200 reviews! Thank you so much!! ^_^ I know it might seem that I'm trying to rewrite the **_**entire**_** PotS series, but that's truly not my goal. This is a K/J story, so there's plenty that I will be leaving out unless it has to do with my main plot lines. So, I'm jumping forward to Midwinter of Kel's fourth year as a page. Thanks again for reading my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Joren returned, Vinson, Faleron, Garvey, Yancen, - but no Cleon. In December, Kel got a letter from him, addressed to her, but written for the entire study group. Sir Inness had chosen to remain in the north, training villagers in self-defense. They wouldn't come to the palace until the spring._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

**Midwinter Plans**

Kel was amazed at how quickly her fourth year as a page was passing by. Lord Wyldon continued to introduce new ways to torment the senior pages, such as tilting against one another using well-padded lances and conducting mock battles during short camp-outs. Academics continued to be fairly easy for Kel and her friends often would bring new first-years to her for additional tutoring. Also, Oranie continued to harass Kel about the younger girl's hairstyle and face paint for the older girl's wedding in two weeks.

After the horrible experience Kel had at Adalia's wedding - with the sticky hair lotion and lip color that wouldn't come off for two days - Kel told Orie that she would not subject herself to such torture again. No matter what her sister promised, Kel, who was supposed to be Orie's maid of honor, wouldn't budge. Finally, one Sunday afternoon when Kel was visiting her family at their Corus town house, a suitable solution presented itself, one which would let Kel off the hook completely.

"Orie, you know how Cousin Tressa is coming to Corus to be presented at Court this Midwinter?" Kel asked casually, while the girls and their parents were finishing lunch. "What if ... what if _Tressa_ served you as your maid of honor, instead of me? She'll be here anyway and she _likes _to have her hair done up nicely and she looks good in face paint, too."

Lady Ilane gave Kel a stern look. "Kel, it's time for you to stop trying to wiggle out of doing your duty to your sister. I'm tired of these changes - first Inness decides to stay up north and now Avinar will not be coming either because of the early snows. Besides, Orie's already agreed to let you wear your hair in a beaded net and we've decided to use a lighter color on your lips this time. What's this new scheme of yours about?"

"Mama, wait," Orie's eyes lit up and she exclaimed, "Kel's idea is brilliant! If Tressa serves as my maid of honor, many more eligible men will notice her than they will when she's with all the other ladies at a ball. It's another opportunity for her to shine - well, not as brightly as the bride, of course - but everyone will see her walk down the aisle in front of me and that's much better than being introduced with everyone else."

"That's right, Mama," Kel agreed. "And people don't need to see me all fixed up like that, especially since Papa won't be presenting me to Court next year - or ever."

Ilane looked from Kel to Orie and back to Kel. "Did you two figure this out behind my back or did you come up with this plan just now?

Kel gulped. She made her face Yamani blank and looked down at her plate. She knew she was caught. Even though Orie had rehearsed what to say with her right before they came down to eat, Kel could not lie to her mother. She did not notice that the corner of Lady Ilane's mouth twitched in a tiny smile before she made her face stern again.

"It's a good thing Lalasa hasn't cut the cloth for your dress yet, Keladry," Lady Ilane said with mock irritation. "If she had, then I would not let you get away with this. I _suppose_ my brother will let Tressa stay with us a few days until after the wedding. You can wear the same dress you wore at Adie's wedding and your cousin will wear the new dress."

Kel looked up at her mother's now-smiling face. "Really, Mama?" She asked hopefully, "You'll really let Tressa take my place?"

Her mother inclined her head to indicate her acquiescence and then Orie squealed with excitement. Both girls quickly regained their composure when their father cleared his throat to speak.

"That should be the end of any other scheming and planning," Baron Piers stated solemnly. "You both now have what you want, so do not ask your mother for any more changes to this wedding. Two weeks is barely enough time to get everything ready, especially with all the Midwinter preparations."

"Yes, Papa." Both Kel and Oranie replied. Then they smiled at each other and asked to be excused from the table. Kel had to be back at the palace for Lord Wyldon's Sunday evening battle lesson with the other fourth-year pages, as well as with the squires who had returned to the palace already. Kel was relieved that Orie's plan worked. Now Tressa would be the one subjected to all the maid of honor 'decorations', and this time, Kel wouldn't have to worry about either Cleon or Joren being at the wedding to bother her.

* * *

Joren looked up from his desk when Spencer ushered Vinson into his room and scowled. He was not in the mood for any additional ranting from his long-time friend. The tall, gangly squire still bore faint scars on his face from his struggle with the Mindelan girl's maid and he still was filled with bitterness toward both the maid and her mistress. Joren put down the book about famous battles of the past that they were supposed to be reading in preparation for their Sunday battle lessons with Lord Wyldon.

"What do you want?" Joren asked curtly. "Can't you see that I'm trying to get ready for tonight's lesson?"

"Since when do _you_ read ahead of time?" Vinson practically sneered. "I thought you hated it."

Joren blinked. There was a time when reading _was_ the last thing he ever wanted to do with his free time, but now, Sir Paxton and Merovec of Nond had opened his eyes to a whole new world of interesting books and papers. He was amazed at what he found in the palace library - books and scrolls about all kinds of weapons, and battles and heroes of the past - and now he could read them all at his own leisurely pace. In the year and a half that he had been a squire, the dyslexic young man had learned more about the history of Tortall and its neighbors than in all of the time he spent in his classes as a page. Joren knew who else to thank for the change in his habits and it was getting more and more difficult for him to not obsess over Keladry of Mindelan.

"Joren? Joren, are you listening to me?" Vinson interrupted his thoughts. "I said I have a new plan now. It's a good plan and I know it will work."

"What? Oh, yes ... a plan," Joren repeated, shaking away his thoughts of Kel. "A plan for what?"

"See, I knew you weren't paying attention," Vinson complained. "It's my plan to get revenge against the Lump and that arrogant maid of hers."

Joren's heart sank. He remembered well that Vinson had wanted nothing more than to make the maid pay for damaging his face, and he wanted to 'teach the Lump a lesson' for interfering in his private affairs. Now that Joren had seen with his own eyes that Keladry of Mindelan possessed the potential to be the kind of lady he really wanted, he was no longer interested in Vinson's mean schemes for revenge.

"Come on, Vinson," Joren tried to sound casual, "That's all in the past. We're second-year squires now. Who cares about that anymore?"

"_I_ still care and you should care, too." Vinson asserted. "My new plan will keep the Lump from passing her big exams. There will be a big scandal and she'll _never_ become a squire. Then she'll have to dismiss her maid - my Uncle Ebroin checked for me and found out that her family isn't all that wealthy, you know - and then I'll take the stupid servant wench for my own. Both of those females will pay! No one gets the better of a Genlith - no one!" Vinson's eyes gleamed with a hint of madness.

At first, Joren thought he should try to dissuade his now obviously crazed friend from any schemes. Then his mind latched on to the idea that - if the girl page was disqualified from becoming a squire - she would _have_ to become a lady and be presented at Court like all the others. Joren might be able to win her over if Vinson's plan worked and Kel finally left the palace without earning her shield. After all, none of their other schemes to get rid of her had worked, but this one just might suit both their desires.

Joren decided to listen to Vinson's plan. It was a bit convoluted and it would require the wealthy Joren to pay some kidnappers to grab the maid on the day of the big exams and stash her somewhere. Meanwhile, the sneaky Vinson would place cryptic notes for the Lump to find and those would lead her on a pointless chase all over the palace grounds to rescue her maid. The girl page would have to decide to either forfeit the safety of her maid or miss the exams completely.

The punishment for failing to protect her servant would be to relinquish that servant, which would be hard for the Lump to endure because everyone knew how much she cared for weaklings, commoners and lost causes. The punishment for missing the big exams would be for her to have to repeat all four years as a page, which no one ever had agreed to do. Either way, the scheming squires figured the Mindelan girl would not be continuing with her training after that eventful day was done.

"See there? I think this is much better than your last plan." Vinson said with an air of smugness which annoyed Joren. "I know you're the best at dismounted combat and all, but you never can tell what will happen with the Lump - she could hurt you just as badly as you hurt her and then where would you be? Now you'll be safe."

Vinson was referring to a plan that Joren had come up with before the previous summer. Basically, Joren was going to do whatever he could do to get the Lump to trust him as a friend - or at least to not be enemies with him anymore. Then, supposedly in the spirit of fun and camaraderie, he would persuade her to spar with him right before the big exams. Joren had planned to use all his strength and cunning to injure the girl so badly that she would not be able to heal in time to complete the physical tests.

Garvey, whose knight-master was good friends with a Shang warrior, had shown Joren some very tricky hand-to-hand combat moves that he could use against the Lump. They all remembered the agony of the blackened eyes and big bruises from their brawls with the surprisingly strong girl page and they were looking forward to inflicting more pain on her. The three squires thought it was a good plan, but Vinson's newest scheme greatly reduced the possibility of injury to Joren.

"Now, all you have to do is ensure that the Lump really trusts you," advised Vinson. "Once you figure out her schedule on that day, you can make sure the timing of everything is just right. You know how it is - she's always got a crowd of first-years around gawping at her or those stupid birds flying about."

Joren shrugged. He hadn't told any of his friends about the wedding he had attended at the end of the summer, so they didn't know anything about his kissing 'the enemy' or about the way his feelings toward her had changed. He had heard that Cleon - Kel's other 'secret-keeper' - wasn't coming back to the palace until right before the exams and he doubted that their other friends would hear about the social event until much later. Joren knew that ever since he had kissed Kel, there was a different sort of tension between them, but there was no way he would share that information with Vinson or Garvey or anyone else.

"Hey, I thought you were making progress," Vinson said warily. "You'd better make sure she doesn't suspect anything. I know this is distasteful, but the Lump really has to like you _and_ trust you, or else the plan won't work. She hates me more than ever, so I can't do it. Garvey's still too shy around girls, so he won't do it. You have to be nicer to her - it shouldn't be too difficult - tell her you're actually reading whole books now. I'll bet _that's_ something she would like about you."

Joren grimaced inwardly. His friends rarely mentioned the times during his page years when he almost failed out of the training due to his poor academic performance. They knew something had happened when he and Kel became mandatory study partners, but they didn't know exactly what it was. Vinson observed Master Chalmers go into Joren's room one evening while the Lump was there, so he figured they were getting extra tutoring straight from the source. That's what he told Garvey and Zahir at a time when Joren was serving out a punishment for being disrespectful in class, and they all thought it seemed like the most logical explanation for Joren's incredible academic improvements.

"Oh, alright," Joren made his voice sound appropriately bored, "I'll do my part to make the Lump like me and we'll both figure out how to put the plan into action. Just tell me where and when to meet the kidnappers so I can pay them. I have an idea of a place they can stash the maid, but I don't want to know about your plans for the wench afterward, understand?"

Vinson grinned wolfishly, "Never you mind. I've got _special_ plans for that one, and I really don't think you need to know, anyway. It'll be enough for you to be rid of the Lump once and for all. It's only taken five and a half years, but we'll finally be able to close out the betting pool, too."

Joren nodded absentmindedly. He had forgotten all about the pool of money he had kept, even after the training master allowed the Mindelan girl to return. Some pages had made long-term bets - like that bothersome Queenscove, who had put his money on the girl page leaving whenever he did - and now Joren would have to calculate who came closest to the winning date of her departure. Part of him almost felt sad about that, but then he got ready for supper and went down to the mess hall with Vinson. Kel would be there with the other pages and it was time to focus on their plan.

* * *

Lord Wyldon barely suppressed a sadistic smile when he announced that, although this was their last battle lesson before the Midwinter break in classes, he expected every student to prepare a detailed battle plan to present to the entire class after the holidays. He was not surprised by the moaning and groaning of the squires and senior pages - in fact, he had anticipated it. However, the crafty training master had an ulterior motive for keeping the squires and senior pages as busy as possible during the Midwinter festivities. Wyldon would be presenting his oldest girl, Odette, to Court this season and he did not want his students - in particular a very blond, second-year squire - to have enough spare time with which to entertain his beautiful daughter.

"Alright, then, since you all have so much to say about this assignment, I shall make it easier for you and let you work in groups of fours." Wyldon announced gruffly. "I already discussed the squires' light duty schedules with their knight-masters, and Master Oakbridge has assured me that there will be plenty of free time for you pages as well. So, the following squires shall be the battle captains and you each may pick the names out of this basket of three other people to complete your teams: Genlith, Irenroha, King's Reach, Runnerspring, and Stone Mountain."

The squires and pages all looked around at each other as they wondered what had gotten into their training master. Usually, no teachers gave out assignments during the Midwinter holidays. Having to prepare a battle plan would 'ruin' many of their individual plans for the free time they had been looking forward to for so long. Now they would need to get together with their groups at least a few times during the two weeks in order to complete their homework. Nobody grumbled further, just in case Lord Wyldon had plans for other tasks to assign to them.

The five squires began to pull names from the basket, starting with Vinson, who drew Quinden's name first. Yancen smiled when he drew Neal's name, because the older page was so smart. Faleron grimaced when he drew Merric's name - he loved his cousin, but Merric was not the best student of military maneuvers. Garvey shrugged when he drew Esmond's name because he really didn't know the page from Nicoline all that well. Joren was glad when he drew Zahir, who had not been chosen as a battle captain because, as the king's squire, he would have additional duties to perform during the holiday festivities.

The choosing continued for a second round without Kel's name being drawn. She made her face Yamani calm so that her disappointment at not being on the same team with Neal and Yancen wouldn't be obvious. She also wondered if the slip of paper with her name on it was stuck to the bottom of the basket, because Joren finally drew her name last. At least Seaver was on Joren's team, too, so Kel would have one of her good friends to keep her company while they did their assignment. She only hoped that the squires wouldn't try to make the pages do all the work.

x-x-x-x-x

"You two have to serve at all the banquets, so the afternoons are out." Joren looked at Kel and Seaver, both of whom were leaning against the wall of his room. Lord Wyldon had dismissed all of the teams for the evening and everyone was trying to figure out when they could work on their battle plans together. "Zahir and I have to serve at the evening functions, and we plan to sleep in late. That leaves the two hours before lunch to work on this plan. I'll expect everyone to come to my room and if we need to, we can continue our discussions during lunch."

They all nodded their agreement and began to outline their basic plan. Kel was surprised at the way Joren took charge of the group and treated everyone with respect. He listened to each person's viewpoint and really seemed to consider her input. Zahir was nice to her, too. It felt very odd to be working with the two former bullies instead of fighting against them. Finally, after Seaver yawned so many times that everyone else began to yawn with him, they decided to quit for the night. The first of the many banquets and events would happen the next night, so they all needed to get some rest.

"Kel, may I have a word with you? It won't take long." Joren asked right before she followed Seaver out of his room. Zahir had left as soon as Joren said they were through for the night.

"Uh ... okay." Her fellow page glanced back at her with a concerned look on his face, but she waved him away with confidence. "It's alright," she told him, "I'll be right down."

Kel stood in Joren's doorway. "What do you want Joren? It's late and we've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"I just wanted to know," he began, "if you had given any thought ... to what I told you this summer."

"I've kept your secret, if that's what you mean." Kel replied. "Otherwise, I have too many other things to think about. Must we speak of this right now?"

Joren closed the gap between them, but he didn't touch Kel. He searched her eyes and saw a very tired girl there. They were standing close enough that he could have kissed her again - and that's what he really wanted to do - but he remembered that he wanted her to trust him, so he clasped her forearm and shook it firmly without breaking eye contact. Kel almost looked surprised.

"I'm glad you're on my team, Kel." Joren's blue eyes bored into Kel's hazel eyes, even after he let go of her arm. "I've been reading some books about other battles, so I have some good ideas for our plan and I can hardly wait to share them. I really wanted to work with _you_ again... and that's all I needed to say ... for now. So, I bid you good night." Then he stepped back into his room to allow Kel the space to leave, hoping as he watched her walk away that she would become a regular, marriageable lady.

* * *

Several young ladies were introduced to the Court on the evening of the second banquet of the Midwinter feasts. Each girl's father or male relative walked her down the long staircase and presented her to the king and queen. After they all had been recognized, there was dancing and entertainment. This event primarily was for the knights, and the other men who were able to make contracts for marriage, to see who the newest of the eligible ladies were. The squires were in attendance but they walked around with trays of drinks and small cakes and other refreshments to serve to everyone else.

Four young ladies truly stood out from all the rest of the girls being presented that evening: the brown-eyed, auburn-haired Odette of Cavall, the blue-eyed blond Rhiannon haMinch, and two brunettes - the blue-eyed Ermelian of Aminar and the hazel-eyed Tressa of Seabeth and Seajane. Each of these girls was lovely and many heads turned to watch them as they danced and flirted with several potential matches. Each of these girls also had a very protective father who sternly observed which heads turned when their daughters waltzed by.

"I see your future wife," Vinson whispered to Joren as they passed each other with their trays of refreshments.

Joren almost dropped his tray as he hissed, "What are you babbling about?"

"I heard my uncle telling my father that your father has already spoken with General Vanget haMinch twice." Vinson smiled wickedly. "Obviously, Lord Burchard wanted to get his bid in for you before everyone else saw the beautiful Rhiannon tonight. You're a lucky man, even though you'll have to wait a few years."

Joren didn't have time to reply because Master Oakbridge motioned for him to come to the serving hall door. By the time he returned, carrying out a fresh tray of drinks, Vinson was across the room. Joren took a moment to look for the haMinch girl and flinched when he saw her standing between his father and her father. Rhiannon giggled at something Lord Burchard said to her and the girl's facial expression reminded him of Anniseth. Joren suddenly felt sick to his stomach as he remembered his sister's warnings. She had been correct - even though Joren was two whole years away from knighthood, their father had chosen a blond girl from a Book of Gold family as a match for him and it seemed that there was very little he could do about it. If he wanted a different plan for his future, Joren would have to come up with one sooner rather than later.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry, no fluff this time. I hope you liked my AU twist of the kidnapping mastermind - there's more to come. Please keep on reading and reviewing! Thanks! :D**


	19. Midwinter Kisses

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Happy New Year!! This little chapter's title speaks for itself, so you have been warned. ;D**

**Thanks again for reading my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_With the start of winter, Kel's year appeared to melt away. She could remember the passage of time if she thought about it. Once again she waited on the Archpriestess and her companions over Midwinter. She exchanged gifts and received them. _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

**Midwinter Kisses**

"Midwinter luck," he said as he kissed her soft, warm lips.

After nearly thirty-five years of marriage, nine children, and an ever-increasing number of grandchildren, Baron Piers of Mindelan never grew tired of kissing his lovely wife, Ilane. They had been talking about their eventful year which was coming to a close within a few hours. Their youngest child had completed his first year as a student in The City of the Gods. Their youngest daughter was still doing very well as the realm's first acknowledged female page in over a hundred years. Their two next-to-the-youngest daughters got married and all of their older children were doing just fine, as well. Piers smiled at the thought of it having been a very good year for the House of Mindelan.

"What are you smiling about, love?" Ilane asked as she brushed the tangles out of her long silvery hair in preparation for going to bed. "Is it a secret or can you tell me?"

Piers didn't answer Ilane with words. Instead, he lifted the hair away from her neck and kissed her along the tender area behind her ear. He chuckled when he heard her sigh with pleasure. Ilane put away her hair brush, turned to kiss him more passionately and led him to their bed. After all this time, they still made each other quite happy. It was a very good way for them to end the old year and begin the new year.

* * *

"Midwinter luck," he said as he kissed her soft, warm lips.

After nearly twenty years of marriage, four daughters, and an increasing number of dogs and horses, Lord Wyldon of Cavall never grew tired of kissing his lovely wife, Vivienne. They had been talking about their eventful year which was coming to a close within a few hours. Wyldon had just presented their oldest daughter to the Court a few days prior and already had received three very good offers of marriage for her. Neither he nor Vivienne wanted to rush things along, but it was nice to know that their daughter was so well-liked. Also, Wyldon thought with a smile, he had kept the squires so busy that none of _them_ had bothered his daughter.

"What are you smiling about, dear?" Vivienne asked and she sat up in their bed, watching her husband undress. "Is it a secret or can you tell me?"

Wyldon didn't answer Vivienne with words. Instead, he climbed into the bed and wrapped himself around her warm body. He chuckled when he heard her sigh with pleasure. She wriggled out of her nightshirt and turned to kiss him more urgently. After all this time, they still made each other quite happy. It was a very good way for them to end the old year and begin the new year.

* * *

"Midwinter luck," he said as he kissed her soft, warm lips.

After nearly sixteen years of marriage and only one son to show for it, Lord Burchard of Stone Mountain was almost tired of kissing his lovely wife, Virryn. They had been talking about their uneventful year which was coming to a close within a few hours. Burchard actually was thinking about the stunningly beautiful and young widow, Lady Gwendolyn, who recently had come out of mourning for her now-deceased elderly husband. He was certain that the tall, twenty-four-year-old blond woman had given him a few glances which meant she was interested in him, and he began to wonder if she might be able to bear more sons. Burchard smiled as he thought of escaping from his wife to have a little fun of his own.

"What are you smiling about, Burchard?" Virryn asked as she sat in her chair, reading a book of romantic poetry. "Is it a secret or can you tell me?"

Burchard didn't answer Virryn with words. Instead, he kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the room. He chuckled to himself when he heard her sigh with resignation. After all this time, they both knew that he was going out to make himself happy. It was not a very good way for them to end the old year and begin the new year, but it was typical.

* * *

"Midwinter luck," he said as he kissed her soft, warm lips.

After nearly four months of marriage, Merovec of Nond never grew tired of kissing his lovely wife, Adalia. They had been talking about their eventful year which was coming to a close within a few hours. Mero was almost finished writing his book about the customs and weapons of the eastern desert tribes and the royal university recently had drawn up a contract for him to give a series of lectures about his work. Mero smiled when he thought about the fact that they would, of course, pay him generously for his time.

"What are you smiling about, my love?" Adie asked as her fingers traced lazy circles on his bare chest. "Is it a secret or can you tell me?"

Mero didn't answer Adie with words. Instead, he caught her hand in his, pulled her over on top of him and kissed her with more passion than before. He chuckled when he heard her sigh with pleasure. The newlyweds obviously still made each other quite happy. It was a very good way for them to end the old year and begin the new year.

* * *

"Midwinter luck," he said as he kissed her soft, warm lips.

After only two days of marriage, Ortien of Hannalof and his bride, Oranie, had barely left their bedchamber except to eat. They hadn't been talking about much while they honeymooned in bed, but they'd had an eventful year which was coming to a close within a few hours. Ortien smiled when he thought about how lucky he was to have the prettiest wife in the world.

"What are you smiling about, _husband_?" Orie asked, enjoying the way that word rolled off her tongue. "Is it a secret or can you tell me?"

Ortien didn't answer Orie with words. Instead, he held his new wife closer to him and they continued to do what they had been doing for the past two days. He chuckled when he heard her sigh with pleasure. They still were discovering how to make each other quite happy. It was a very good way for them to end the old year and begin the new year.

* * *

"Midwinter luck," he said as he kissed her soft, warm lips.

After thinking about it and obsessing over it for what seemed to him an eternity, Joren of Stone Mountain decided that he never would grow tired of stealing kisses from the ever-intriguing Keladry of Mindelan. The blond squire had gone to her room and knocked on her door after he saw her maid walk down the hall. He didn't know how much time he would have before the maid returned, so as soon as Kel opened the door, Joren had kissed her. She was still in shock, but he smiled warmly at her as he pressed a small, rolled-up scroll into her hand.

"What ... what are you smiling about, Joren?" Kel asked as she regained her composure and looked into his blue eyes. She was determined not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction from her. "Is this another one of your _secrets _you want me to keep?"

Joren didn't answer Kel with words. Instead, he nodded at the scroll and watched her face as she opened and read it. Then he silently turned and walked back down the hall. Joren chuckled to himself when he thought about how green Kel's hazel eyes had become while she read the poem that he had written especially for her. After all this time, he figured that if he wrote something - even if it was twaddle - it might make his former study partner somewhat happy. Joren also figured it was a very good way for them to end the old year and begin the new year.

Midwinter luck, indeed.

* * *

**A/N: This was just a little fluffiness to help bring in the new year - in my family, everyone kisses someone at midnight: my husband & I kiss each other, my kids kiss us both, etc. Starting off the new year without a kiss just doesn't seem right, so I thought our friendly cast of Tortallan characters should do the same. Thank you so much for all the reading and reviewing you've given me this year! Happy 2009!! Enjoy!!! :D **


	20. Sunday Night Lessons

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Happy New Year! I'm glad so many of you enjoyed my fluffy little filler chapter. ^_^ I was able to post it before I left for my family's New Year's Eve celebration, so it filled me with such joy to see your reviews the next day. My year is off to a good start! Thanks again for reading my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Joren seemed to be many places that Kel was after Midwinter. They didn't fight; they traded greetings if they passed in the hall. He watched her at mealtimes and Sunday night battle lessons, though. She would look up to find those level blue eyes fixed on her. She would walk around a table model and bump into him. Once, eerily, she felt a touch at the back of her head as the class broke up one night. When she turned, only Joren was near, and he was walking away._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

**Sunday Night Lessons**

One evening, before it was time to report to Lord Wyldon's Sunday night combat tactics lesson, Kel heard someone knock on her door and she was relieved when she remembered that Lalasa was there to answer it this time. Ever since the last day of the old year, when Joren had surprised her, Kel hesitated to open the door more than a tiny bit to check who was there first. If anyone of her closer friends noticed the change in her habits, they didn't comment on it.

"Master Neal, it's good to see you," Lalasa greeted the older page warmly. "Would you like to come in? My lady is almost ready to go."

Neal nodded and walked over to Kel's desk, where she was finishing a letter to her brother Inness.

"Be sure to say hello to Cleon for all the rest of us, too," Neal teased. "You do realize that Sir Inness is going to share that letter with his squire, anyway, right?"

Kel smiled up at her friend. "You do realize that you could write your _own_ letters to Cleon, right? I'm certain that he would appreciate the kindness."

"Nah!" Neal scoffed playfully as he waved his hand in the air. "The big romantic fool would just mistake my intentions and then _I'd_ be the one having to endure his overly-flowery language, instead of you. Come on, we don't want to be late for the Stump's Sunday night battle lesson."

When Kel picked up the letter to her brother, something fluttered to the floor. Neal reached down to get it, but Kel's quicker hand swooped up the small piece of paper before he could touch it.

"What was that?" Neal asked suspiciously. "It almost looked like ... poetry. Kel, are you trying your hand at writing verses?"

"No, it's not like that," Kel knew her face was red, but she fixed her expression and slid the paper back into her desk drawer. "Never mind, let's go."

She had been re-reading Joren's strange little poem to her before she started writing her letter. Truthfully, it wasn't very good, but it meant a lot to Kel that Joren - whom she knew better than anyone else hated to write anything - had written it himself. Of course, thinking about the poem reminded her of the kisses Joren also had given her and she knew that her face was turning even redder than before.

"I don't think I'm good at writing that sort of thing." Kel said abruptly as she stood up to leave. "You're right, let's not be late."

Neal followed Kel out of her room, but he looked back over his shoulder at Lalasa who only shrugged. Whatever was on that piece of paper, Neal knew that Kel would not be inclined to share it with him tonight. He was certain that it was supposed to be some sort of poetic writing, but since he didn't get a close look at it, he didn't know if it was any good or not.

Maybe, Neal thought, he should give Kel some pointers on writing good poetry, especially since that was one of his passions. Then the thought occurred to him, to whom would _Kel_ be writing a poem? It was a mystery now, and Neal looked forward to figuring it out.

* * *

"You _like _her," Zahir's voice was sharp and accusatory as he leaned over Joren's desk. "I've noticed the way you watch her all the time and I sense that you actually _like _the Mindelan girl now. You even tried to touch her hair after our tactics lesson last night."

The two squires were relaxing a bit before the other members of their battle planning group arrived for their study session. Everyone had agreed to do their own homework first and then come to Joren's room to work on their battle plan until it was time to go to bed. They would give their presentation to Lord Wyldon and the rest of their class on the following Sunday.

The only thing they still had to do was to create a table model of the terrain they planned to defend. Kel and Seaver were supposed to bring a bucket of sand and some small pieces of wood for them to create their model. Joren was sitting at his desk, trying to look casual and ignoring the tall Bazhir's comments.

"Come on, Joren," Zahir pushed him, "This is me - your best friend, Zahir. Talk to me. What's going on?"

Joren looked up and shrugged. "I don't know what you're babbling about. What do I care about the girl? Mindelan is still Mindelan. And she's still here, after all this time. She was supposed to be gone by now, but she's not - so I watch her. It's nothing."

"Mmm ... hmm," nodded Zahir, not believing a word his old friend was saying. "I know you have been very considerate in not letting me know what kind of schemes you and the others have put into action, so I won't bother you for any details. But this ... _watching_. It's something different and I think a few other people have noticed, too. Just be careful, alright?"

"Fine. Let's talk about the battle plan," Joren abruptly changed the subject when he saw the two pages at his door carrying the supplies they needed. "Come on in Seaver, Kel. Thanks for getting everything."

Joren actually was excited about their battle plan. He knew that the other groups were presenting the same old tired scenarios of defending Corus or Port Caynn or Port Legann. He and Zahir had come up with a plan to present a defense of the desert city, Persopolis. Not only was it Zahir's home territory, but Joren also had spent some time there with his knight-master, Sir Paxton, during the past year. They were confident that everyone in the class would be interested in their battle plan, and they anticipated good remarks from Lord Wyldon.

They wanted their presentation to have the element of surprise, so Joren had paid the palace carpenters to build a large tray in which they could build their table model away from the prying eyes of the other groups. Now they had a dilemma about the girl page being in Joren's room.

From the very first day of her training at the palace, the rule had always been that whenever Kel was in a room where a male was present, the door was to stay completely open at all times. But now, if anyone from one of the other groups just happened to drop by Joren's room, they would see what his group was putting together.

"I think she should leave," said Zahir. "Then we can work on the model without her and keep the door closed."

"That's not fair!" Seaver argued, "Kel's got great ideas and we shouldn't throw her out just because she's a girl."

"Nobody's saying we should throw her out of the group," Joren put in. "It's only while we're working on the model. We don't want anyone to see it until we bring it into class next week."

"What if we just closed the door?" asked Seaver. "Teachers hardly ever patrol up here in the squires' wing. We probably could get away with it a couple of times, anyway."

Zahir, the king's squire, looked at Joren and shook his head. He couldn't do anything that was so blatantly against the rules. They couldn't explain to the dark-haired page about Zahir's connection to the mystical Voice, so they continued to argue against such folly.

Kel despised the fact that there was a problem because of her being a female. While the others deliberated about what to do, she surveyed Joren's room. Although the squires' wing was on the floor above the pages' wing, the rooms had a completely different layout. Primarily, this was to accommodate the much larger amount of equipment that the squires were required to clean and store for their knight-masters. Kel noticed that there was a small alcove, where Sir Paxton's suit of armor was displayed, which might provide the solution.

"Excuse me ... uh, gentlemen," Kel cleared her throat and the three males looked at her. "I think - if it's alright to move that suit of armor - that smaller table over there might fit into that alcove and the wooden tray for our model could sit on top of it. Then, even if someone came to the door, they wouldn't be able to see what we were working on. Well, at least not right away, and then we could cover it."

Joren blinked. If he had been alone in the room with Kel, he would have hugged her - and maybe even attempted to steal another kiss. It was the perfect solution and only she had seen it. Zahir and Seaver quickly agreed with Kel.

They all relocated the armor and moved the table into the little alcove, where it fit very nicely. Now, Kel could stay in the room with the door wide open and they all could finish their project without it being seen from the doorway.

The alcove was a tight fit, so everyone on the team was in physical contact with someone else all the time. Kel didn't notice it at first, but each one of her teammates subtly jockeyed and maneuvered to stand next to her while they worked on building the model of Persopolis and its surrounding desert terrain.

Whenever Kel reached for a handful of sand, someone else would reach into the bucket at the same time. If Kel shifted an inch to the left, someone would shift right along with her. Finally, when Seaver's elbow bumped the back of Kel's head as they both reached across the table, Kel stood up and announced that she needed to take a break.

Since it was almost time for the last study period bell to ring anyway, Joren said that they should stop for the night and they all agreed with him. Their model was coming along quite well, but it had been a long day. Tomorrow promised more tilting and swordplay on horseback for the pages, and the squires would be working on their hand-to-hand combat skills.

Joren closed his door with relief after everyone was gone. When it came to his feelings for Kel, he had all but lost the battle within himself and he knew he would have to work harder to control his actions around her. Joren could see that Seaver - like so many other members of 'the pact' that Cleon had described to him - already worshipped the ground upon which Kel walked and would not take kindly to any hint of courting behavior from the blond squire. Now, Joren knew that his perceptive friend, Zahir, had begun to understand for himself why he watched the girl page so much.

* * *

Lord Wyldon was quite impressed with the battle plan that Squire Joren and his team presented at the next Sunday night tactics class. As they had expected, their defense of the city of Persopolis was completely different from any other group's battle plan. And it had been a total surprise. The training master even asked if he could keep the table model the team had built, and asked them to be prepared to present their battle plan to a group of knights and other adults who would be visiting their class the following Sunday.

Joren and all of his teammates left the classroom that night with a well-earned sense of great accomplishment. They realized that they all enjoyed working with each other and agreed to study together in the future, if time and circumstances allowed, but that never happened. Time quickly slipped away from them and before they knew it, spring - and the big exams - had arrived.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! A shorter chapter means a quicker update. Who knew? ;D**

**Happy 2009! Please R & R. Thanks! :D **


	21. The Aftermath of Failure

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Okay, now that I've rewritten this chapter **_**four**_** different times, I've come to the conclusion that I really do like TP's version of the Balor's Needle incident the best; therefore, I'm not going to write about it or try to make any changes to it for my story. However, this chapter does give my 'AU' reasons why things happened the way they did. It's a little bit different from my other chapters. Enjoy! :D**

**

* * *

**

**The Aftermath of Failure**

* * *

_"I'm not at all sure that she ought to leave her bed," replied Kel's mother. From what her maid tells me, she's exhausted. Did you know she rises before dawn every day? _And _she fits weapons practice into every spare moment she has. The idea is to train them, not to kill them, Wyldon."_

_"It's the training that keeps them alive in the field," Wyldon replied calmly. "Page Keladry, you have things to do ... The watch captain asks me to assure you that whoever paid those men to kidnap Lalasa will be found." Wyldon's tone was odd, almost gentle. "I will make sure that is so - I want to learn what manner of creature would do so infamous a thing."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Kel's P.O.V.

I will not cry! I will _not_ cry!

Oh, Mama! I'm so glad you're here with me now. I'm sorry I failed you.

Thank the gods I found Lalasa! That's the most important thing. _That's_ what I'll remember as I go through the next four years of page training again.

Wait! Will Lord Wyldon allow me to begin again?

What if the gods really are opposed to girls earning their shields now? Will there not be any more lady knights after the Lioness is gone? What am I supposed to do?

I will not cry! I will _not_ cry!

Why is this happening to me? Why did the gods give me all these abilities but deny me the means to use them?

I _won't_ go to the convent! I don't care what Joren said; I _will not_ sit around and be some nobleman's lady. Sorry, Mama, but you've never sat around, anyway!

I suppose ... I suppose I could wait one more year and join the Queen's Riders when I turn fifteen. They probably could use someone with my skills.

I will not cry! I will _not_ cry!

No! I _know_ I can be a good knight! I _want_ to protect those who cannot protect themselves!

If Lord Wyldon will allow me to do so, I will become a first-year page all over again. That's what I'll do, even if everyone makes fun of me. I don't care!

Besides, I'll be here to help my nephew, Lachran, when he comes to the palace next year. And there's still Owen and his cousins to keep me company, too.

I will do _everything_ they ask of me in order to earn my shield!

What? I have to get up and go to supper now?

I will not cry! I will _not_ cry!

_

* * *

_

_"When do you leave?" Joren asked coolly. He sat not with Vinson and Garvey, as Kel might have expected, but with Zahir and Yancen._

_"I won't," Kel replied._

_"You expect us to believe you mean to do all four years again?" There was a mocking smile on Joren's lips._

_Kel shrugged. "Believe what you like." She turned her back on them and went to get her supper. As she passed the squires' tables on her way to her friends, Cleon touched her wrist. "I'm all right," she told him, surprised by the touch._

_"Of course you are," he said. "You're the best." Prince Roald, seated across from Cleon, gave her a warm smile._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Joren's P.O.V.

No one repeats all four years! _No one!_

How can Mindelan even think of doing such a thing? That's just crazy talk!

Gods blast it all! A _reasonable_ girl would go to the convent, learn how to be a regular lady, and let her father present her to the Court. Then I could ... court her in a reasonable manner. Why can't she just be _reasonable_?

I know. I know. Kel doesn't think I'm serious about her. I'll just have to prove it. But how can I do that now?

Maybe ... maybe she'll listen to me if I tell her _why_ I went along with Vinson's plan to have the kidnappers take Lalasa. I only wanted Kel to be late and miss the exams. Then she'd have no choice but to quit trying to earn her shield.

No one repeats all four years! _No one!_

Look at that - Cleon _and_ Prince Roald are smiling at Kel. I know Kennan planned to court the girl when she became a squire and that's what I should have planned to do, too. I don't _care_ if my father already has some boring bride picked out for me.

Maybe she'll understand why I was desperate for her not to become a squire. I can't court a squire.

No, that sounds ridiculous now! What was I thinking?

Who cares if she's a squire? I've already kissed her - _twice_ - and I liked it!

No one repeats all four years! _No one!_

Okay, okay. It's not like _I_ was in charge of this messed up plan. I only paid the kidnappers. Well, and I gave them Vinson's map of the area. But _I_ didn't write any of the notes or put them by Kel's door or change the location of the maid.

Gods blast it all! Why didn't Vinson follow his original plan and just stash the wench in one of the vacant buildings like I suggested to him? Why did he have those idiots take the maid - and that ugly dog - up to Balor's Needle?

Kel hates heights! She's going to hate _me_ again when she finds out - and then she's going to kill me.

No one repeats all four years! _No one!_

Mithros! I can't tell her. I ... I just can't.

She won't understand. Not now. Maybe never.

What? Duke Turomot, the Lord Magistrate is here?

I'm doomed!

No one repeats all four years! _No one!_

* * *

_Then Lord Wyldon helped Duke Turomot up to the lectern._

_The old man glared down at his audience. "Silence," he ordered, though no one made a sound. "Evidence has been given, confession made. Two men were paid by an as-yet-unknown third man to force Page Keladry of Mindelan either to be late for the fourth-year examinations or to be unable to attend altogether ... Heralds have been sent to announce the new day of testing. Furthermore, the one who perpetrated this defilement of the law and the examinations will be found and duly punished. With the guidance of Mithros, we will achieve a fair solution."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Vinson's P.O.V.

Just. Stay. Calm.

This is bad. This is very, very bad.

Those kidnappers are idiots - they're going to talk, I just know they are!

_However ..._ Joren's the one who paid them and Joren's the one who gave them the map, so _Joren's_ the one they're going to identify first.

I'll have time to work things out.

Uncle Ebroin will know what to do.

Just. Stay. Calm.

Stupid, _stupid _wenches! It's all their fault!

Joren doesn't know how easy he has it - girls just tumble right into his lap!

_I_ have to wheedle and bribe females to give me the time of day - and then I end up having to take what I want because they only tease me.

I should have had my fun with that wench _before_ I made the fools move her to the Needle.

Mithros! I can feel her nails against my skin, even after all this time.

That wench still must pay for what she did to me!

Just. Stay. Calm.

If only those silly birds hadn't interfered! I should kill them all - maybe poison would do the trick.

And that dog! All the palace dogs! How could the kidnappers have been so stupid? The dogs found them right away.

They're going to find Joren and me sooner or later, too. Hopefully, _much_ later.

Don't look at Joren! He'll have to save his own skin. _His _father can afford the best lawyers, anyway.

What? They're going to allow the Lump to take the exams anyway?

Just. Stay. Calm.

* * *

_Wyldon smiled crookedly. "I think I will no longer try to predict what will or will not happen to you, Squire Keladry. So far you have proved me wrong on every count. Even I can learn when to quit." He bowed to her and walked away._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

Wyldon's P.O.V.

Gods, Mindelan, I would you had been born a boy!

I was so angry when you didn't show up on time for the big exams. Then I knew something was wrong when you didn't show up at all.

Just think - you've conquered your fear of heights in the most harrowing way possible. That's something _I_ couldn't do in a couple of years of sending you up to all the high places around here!

You've definitely proved your honor and bravery by rescuing your maid, as well as that dog who loves you so much.

Dogs are quite accurate judges of character and I believe that your dog - yes, I know he has attached himself to _you _- has determined you to be the best sort of human. I happen to agree with him.

Gods, Mindelan, I would you had been born a boy!

At first I pitied Piers and Ilane - what were they supposed to do with a girl child such as you?

You're not fit for the convent, Keladry - _that_ much I do know. It would have been such a waste of your abilities.

If Vivienne and I had a daughter like you, I don't know what _we_ would do with her.

If Vivienne and I had a son like you, there's no telling what _he_ could do with your talents!

Gods, Mindelan, I would you had been born a boy!

I don't know what kind of monstrous mind could have conceived of such a horrible plan to keep you from taking your exams, but we _will_ find him. I promise you that!

My hands still hurt from that blistering letter the Lioness sent to me, but perhaps she will back off of her promise to hound me into the Peaceful Realms early - as soon as we catch whoever interfered with your exams.

I hate to think ill of my fellow conservatives, but I wouldn't put it past some of them to think of doing such a thing. Now I am ashamed of their harsh opinions of you, especially when they don't even know you.

Ah, but you, Squire Keladry, you showed them all what you are made of.

Gods, Mindelan, I would you had been born a boy!

I couldn't help but be proud of you as I watched you pass your rescheduled exams with ease.

There was no doubt amongst the examiners that you are fit for service as a squire, and that you will be a credit to the realm someday as a lady knight.

And believe it or not, you have quite a number of admirers among your fellow pages and squires. It's almost embarrassing the way they gaze at you and you don't even notice them. Poor lads!

Thank the gods you'll be off with your knight-master for the majority of the year, so I won't have to worry about my headaches returning just yet.

What? Lord Raoul never takes on a squire!

Oh, well, when it comes to you, Squire Keladry, nothing should surprise me anymore.

Gods, Mindelan, I would you had been born a boy!

* * *

**A/N: Phew! As you might have noticed, I've been experimenting with several writing styles all throughout this story. I hardly ever write in first person, but after three different attempts, this one seemed to work the best for me. Let me know what you think. Thanks! :D **


	22. Dissolving the Pact

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: So ... some readers liked the previous chapter and others didn't. Thank you for your honest reviews. I must confess that I was not wild about it myself, but maybe that's why it took so many rewrites. Also, I think I rushed things quite a bit in my attempt to write as much as possible during the holidays. It's good to try new things, but this chapter's style is more within my 'comfort zone' and I feel better about it. Anyway, thanks again for reading my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_To her astonishment, Lord Wyldon clasped her shoulder warmly. "Gods, Mindelan," he said, "I would you had been born a boy." He let her go. "Come. You need to eat, and to reassure your friends, though I did have Ezeko brief everyone when we got the full story. No sense in allowing all kinds of wild rumors."_

_When he walked on, Kel followed, thinking, But I _like _being a girl._

_... Two days later at the supper hour, Lord Wyldon stood at the lectern and announced, "New squires, you are seated in the wrong place."_

_Kel, Neal, Merric, Seaver, Esmond, and Quinden picked up their trays. Together they walked to the lowliest of the squires' tables as the pages and squires applauded and cheered. _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Page_

* * *

**Dissolving the Pact**

While Kel was sleeping off the effects of the healing she received after her ordeal on Balor's Needle, her good friends held a meeting in Neal's room. Neal filled in the blank areas of the story that Sergeant Ezeko had left out when Lord Wyldon announced that Page Keladry had been hurt while rescuing her maid. Even though they were a little upset with Neal for not letting them in on all the details from the beginning, they listened attentively. All of the boys were very concerned for Kel's well-being, as well as her future.

"They absolutely _must _allow Kel take the exams," Faleron insisted after Neal finished telling his part of the story. "It wasn't her fault that she missed them. She _deserves_ to take them!" Everyone in the room nodded their agreement.

Prince Roald added, "If Kel doesn't take the exams, people might think she's afraid she'll fail them."

"Hah!" exclaimed Seaver. "_We _passed them just fine. There's no way Kel would fail."

"But we've always known that there are people who really do want Kel to fail," Esmond said.

Merric asked, "Do you think it could be Joren and his lot making one more attempt to get rid of Kel?"

Seaver shook his head. "Maybe Vinson or Garvey, but not Joren. At least, not based on what I saw when we were in the same battle planning group. The way he was acting around our Kel, you'd think Joren should have signed the pact with us." When he realized he had revealed a bit too much information, he blushed and looked down. Several other faces turned pink as well.

"The pact!" Cleon scoffed. "Where is that blasted piece of paper, anyway? Isn't it time we dissolved the whole thing?"

All the boys, except for Neal and Prince Roald, looked at Cleon as though he had a second head growing from out of his neck.

"But Kel's not a squire yet!" exclaimed Owen, suddenly feeling very young and out of place. "I mean, we all know she _will_ be one - and very soon, I might add. And that will be quite jolly and all. But ... well.... maybe you're right." The page hung his head in apparent embarrassment for a change.

Neal barely suppressed his laughter at the situation. He never had told anyone about his own ill-fated kiss with Kel, but he knew that every boy in the room - all members of the pact - had entertained thoughts of what might happen once they no longer had to consider Kel their 'sister.' Some of them had even come to Neal seeking advice concerning vaguely-defined love interests. Clearly, since he was almost nineteen, they saw him as sort of an older-brother type, a more experienced man, who could tell them a thing or two about the opposite sex. Neal bit the inside of his cheek to maintain a casual expression on his face.

Cleon had been counting down the days until he was no longer bound by the agreement. His memory of the way Kel looked at her sister's wedding actually kept him warm on the cold winter nights he and Sir Inness spent along the Scanran border. There was no doubt in Neal's mind that Cleon was the most serious - and determined - of all of Kel's potential suitors in the room.

Prince Roald's feelings for Kel were somewhat tragic because he had no choice but to suppress them. It was almost ironic that Kel's father was the main force behind the imperial betrothal agreement between the crown prince and a newly-identified Yamani princess. Neal knew that Roald would not let even a hint of his fondness for Kel break through his mask of proper royal friendship.

As for the other boys, Neal correctly guessed that each one of them had some kind of crush on Kel. Even though Owen was a year younger than everyone else, the talkative page had been infatuated with the girl page from the time of their first 'jolly' fight with Joren and his cronies. Both Seaver and Faleron shared the same kind of unabashed devotion to Kel that people have for someone who rescued them. And why shouldn't they? For two summers in a row, Kel _had _rescued both of them during their camp training. Esmond and Merric were just as smitten as everyone else now, but they had been a bit slower to warm up to Kel because of their earlier negative influences from Quinden and Joren.

_Joren_. Neal was uncertain about him. He knew Joren had changed over the past two years and he thought it was strange the way the blond squire watched Kel and tried to be near Kel and touch her hair and such. There was something slightly _obsessive _about Joren's behavior that really made Neal uncomfortable, even though Kel seemed oblivious to it.

For a moment, Neal had wondered whether or not Stone Mountain - a staunchly conservative House - could have had anything to do with Lalasa's kidnapping, but then he remembered seeing the blond squire and his friends in the audience, waiting for the big exams to begin. A lot of people had come to see if 'The Girl' truly was up to all of the tasks. Everyone, including Joren, had seemed shaken by the news of Kel's injuries and the reasons for her absence.

Sighing heavily to hide his amusement, Neal walked across his room and pulled open his desk drawer. He took out all sorts of wadded up papers and other junk, but finally he produced the document in question - the signed pact which proclaimed that all the boys in the room would agree to treat Kel as they would their own sister until she became a squire. They all just stared at it for a moment without saying anything. Then Faleron plucked it from Neal's hand and waved it over his head.

"Let's take a vote," said Faleron, "All in favor of ending this pact immediately upon Kel's recovery and ..."

A chorus of voices all saying "Aye!" erupted throughout the room without allowing Faleron to complete his legal-sounding call for a vote. The expressions on the boys' faces were hilarious and Neal could not contain his laughter any longer. His loud guffaws startled everyone else and Cleon glared at him.

"What's so funny, Neal?" asked the big redhead. "It's not like you haven't had ... _thoughts_."

Neal wiped his eyes and said, "True, but that was in the past. Right now, I think I'm the _only _person in this room who thinks of our Kel as a 'sister' anymore. My sincere advice to you lads is that you not overwhelm the poor girl with your declarations of affection or you _will _drive her away from the palace." And he continued to chuckle softly.

The others were not amused. Now they all understood that, with the exceptions of Neal and the prince, they were in competition with each other. No one said a word as they all thought about the bizarre situation. After a moment, Neal realized something very important and decided to put whatever gravity he could into his almost-nineteen years to give his fellow pages and squires the benefit of his insights.

"Alright, you lads listen up," Neal began. "It's just occurred to me why you're all in this ... predicament." The boys shifted uneasily as Neal spoke to them like he was their father or a teacher.

Neal continued, "First of all, most of you have never been around any girls except for your sisters - and maybe some other female relatives. Kel truly is the only girl most of you happen to know on a first-name basis, so it's quite natural that you feel such ... devotion toward her. She's a wonderful girl."

A few heads nodded as they considered what Neal said, even as their faces and ears turned bright pink with more embarrassment. The boys knew that he now was delivering one of his university-style speeches, so they tried not to appear bored as they settled in to listen to what their colleague had to say.

"Unlike you, I've met a lot of girls, especially when I was at the university." Neal said, "And as you may recall, I've also had a number of ... infatuations - for which I have been severely and unjustly ridiculed." This made most of them chuckle now as they remembered the time when they serenaded Neal with a sappy love ballad outside his window.

"We may _recall _your pathetic poetry," Cleon dryly remarked. "It still deserves all the ridicule we can throw at it."

"Humph! I can hardly wait to hear the sorry verses _you'll _be writing in the near future," Neal sniffed. "Anyway, as lowly pages, we only served at the main banquets; therefore, few of you have had the opportunity to speak with any girls. But the squires," he nodded toward Cleon, Faleron and the prince, "have served at the balls and other social functions where there are many girls in attendance. More of them are introduced to the Court every Midwinter and we all will have the next few years to meet - and dance with - such young ladies. While I believe Kel is the best girl any of us probably ever will know, you lads need to realize that she's not the _only_ girl in the world."

Prince Roald smiled slyly and his eyes twinkled with the understanding of where this conversation was headed. Cleon had crossed his arms over his chest, but he no longer was glaring at Neal. Faleron was trying to look mature, but he knew he paled in comparison to the older boys. Owen was staring at an imaginary speck on the floor and Seaver was staring out the window at nothing. Both Merric and Esmond just stared straight ahead and had the reddest faces of all of them.

"Now, let's be reasonable here." Neal continued. "Only one ... man ... among us has the freedom - and the height, I might add - to pursue our _friend _with any confidence." Then he took a deep breath and looked directly at Cleon. "He happens to be the squire to our friend's older brother and so he's already been to her home fief and he already knows most of her family. Do any of the rest of you know the names of Kel's brothers and sisters?"

"I know she has lots of them," Owen looked up and smiled, now finding the situation humorous, especially since he obviously was not a serious contender. "I could run and ask Sir Inness real quick - then come back and tell everybody their names."

That got a laugh out of all the boys and eased the tension in the room. Neal sensed that he had talked long enough for them to understand his viewpoint.

"What I'm saying is this," Neal began again. "Now that we're no longer bound by the pact, and in the interest of keeping Kel from being overrun by so many declarations of love and devotion, I think Cleon here should be the first to -"

"Yes, fine, we get your point," Faleron tersely interrupted him. "I don't think we need another written agreement, though, to let Cleon be the first among us to court Kel." He looked around the room. "We all can behave honorably, right?"

Heads all bobbed up and down as the boys also looked around the room at each other. Cleon grinned crookedly and lifted his chin toward Neal in a gesture of gratitude. Slowly, one by one, the younger boys made eye contact with their tall redheaded friend, giving him their tacit approval - if not their blessings - to be Kel's sole suitor from among their group. Only Owen stood up in front of Cleon with his hands on his hips and a playful scowl on his face.

"But if it so happens that Kel doesn't fancy you after all," Owen declared to the squire who towered over him by almost a head, "Next year - or perhaps when I'm taller - I'll jolly well go after her myself!"

Cleon then caught Owen in an arm hold around the younger boy's neck and tousled his curly hair. Before they knew it, everyone was wrestling someone else. The mood in Neal's room was playful until the supper bell rang. Then they all straightened their uniforms and happily filed out of Neal's room to go to the mess hall. They hoped to hear good news about Kel.

* * *

Three nights later, after all the new squires - including Kel - had moved their personal belongings into their new rooms in the squires' wing, Neal knocked on Kel's door and asked her to take a walk with him.

"I need to talk to you about ... something," Neal said to her as they entered the Hall of Portraits. "You probably won't like it and the others would _kill_ me if they knew I was telling you, but I believe it's important that you know about it anyway."

"Stop being so mysterious, Neal," Kel punched him in the arm. "It reminds me of when ..." Then she blushed. "When we discovered that we're best off as ... friends."

Neal smiled crookedly at her, "It's funny you should mention that." Then he ran his fingers through his hair. "Remember how I slipped up and you also discovered that we all were determined to see you as, well, our 'sister'?"

"Yes, I remember," Kel nodded. "I think you boys cared about fighting the awful rumors and protecting my virtue more than I ever did. I appreciate the efforts - and I'm glad to have so many 'extra brothers' even though it's sometimes annoying." She scrunched up her face at him. "I just don't want you all thinking you have to look out for me; I can take care of myself."

"Hmm ... the reality is that everyone is a bit _older_ now." Neal looked at her, "And I just wanted to warn you that ... um ... well, they don't really see you as their '_sister_' anymore."

Kel looked alarmed. "What are you saying, Neal? Are the others actually upset because I was able to take the exams anyway? Are they still my friends?"

"No, Kel, it's nothing like that!" Neal's face turned white at her misunderstanding him. "It's just that we're all squires now - young men, actually." Now his face turned red again. "And ... well, young men like to think about ... young women."

Kel shook her head. "Neal, please! I can't understand you when you get all cryptic like this. Whatever it is, can't you just say it plainly?"

"Alright, then," Neal squared his shoulders dramatically. "You're a girl." Then he nodded, "and now everyone sees you ... as a girl. There, I said it."

"What are you talking about?" Kel narrowed her eyes. "Of course I'm a girl! I've always been a girl!"

"Don't be upset," Neal held up his hands. "I've spoken to them and they're not all going to come to your door with flowers and poetry and such, but I thought you needed to know why they might be acting a bit-"

Kel's eyes had widened as she began to understand. "So_ that's _why ... oh, no! Neal, this is awful!" She put her hands up over her face. "I finally was happy with so many 'extra brothers' and now it's going to be ... _awful_. Why did you have to tell me this?" Kel's voice had an angry edge to it as she looked up and punched Neal in his other arm.

"Ow! That hurt. You don't know your own strength," Neal complained and rubbed his arm. "I only told you so that you wouldn't be caught unaware. Besides, I think that only one of them is bold enough to come forward any time soon."

"Who? No! Don't tell me!" Kel wavered. "It's going to be strange enough as it is."

"Please don't worry about this." Neal said apologetically. "As soon as the congress ends, we'll all be scattered across the land with our knight-masters, so it probably won't matter all that much anyway. Once we're all back together at the palace, though ... well, anything can happen between now and then."

Kel frowned and looked down at her feet. Maybe Neal and the others were confident about getting chosen by a field knight, but she still was 'The Girl' and she was not so certain that any knight would choose her at all. Neal saw the expression on her face and knew what it meant.

"Don't fret, Kel," he soothed. "Everything will turn out just fine. You'll see."

"Thank you for trying to make me feel better about all this, Neal." Kel looked up and smiled as she realized she was almost as tall as him now. "And thanks - I think - for the friendly warning. I'm just going to try to be my normal self. If anyone ... oh, never mind. I'll cross that bridge _if_ I get to it. Meanwhile, you can tell my ... _former 'brothers'_ that poetry isn't really something that I like. Now a nice, long duel with staffs or swords-"

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," Neal grinned at her. "You aren't a bit romantic, are you?"

x-x-x-x-x

Later that night when she was getting ready to go to bed, Kel thought about what she had said to Neal concerning her dislike of poetry. Before she blew out her candles, she took out the poem that Joren had written for her at Midwinter and laid it on her desk. Kel wished she could figure out which version of Joren was the _real _Joren. Was he the cruel bully who vowed to make her quit or was he the charming young man who claimed to be interested in her? Certainly, neither version of Joren had ever wanted to be her 'brother.'

Then Kel remembered that she had something important she wanted to do. Her fingers trembled slightly as she took out a different small square of parchment - the one that Tian had given her after she rescued Lalasa and Jump - and set it next to the poem. It was the note which read _'Try Balor's Needle'. _The palace watch had collected the other note which threatened harm to Lalasa as evidence in their case against whoever paid the kidnappers, but Kel had kept the smaller note for a reason.

The curious new squire held her breath while she examined the handwriting on both pieces of parchment. She let out a quiet sigh of relief when she saw that the two documents could _not _have been written by the same hand. Kel had her doubts about Joren; especially since he had barely spoken to her after he found out she wasn't leaving. She even had wondered if he had anything to do with Lalasa's kidnapping.

Kel didn't want to think that Joren would revert to his old ways of harassing and tormenting her, so she knew she had to compare the poem with the note to make sure he was not the writer of both of them. She would rest easier now that she had seen that Joren couldn't have written the bad note - his handwriting was not that great, but whoever wrote the note had a very nice writing style. Satisfied, she put away the documents, blew out her candles, and climbed into her bed.

"_Boys,_" Kel thought as she drifted into a peaceful sleep, "_will always be a mystery to me_."

* * *

**A/N: I've always thought Neal was a bit of a Player and needed a 'stage' and an 'audience', so I gave him a little of each. ;D And I've always wondered why **_**Cleon**_**, out of all the guys, was the one who got to court Kel first without any of the others seeming to oppose him or compete against him. Oh well, I'm sure TP had her reasons, but I wanted to explore a possible explanation and I thought this would fit in nicely with my story line about 'the pact.' I had fun writing it, so I hope you had fun reading it! Please R & R. Thanks! :D**


	23. Delicate Situations

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you all so much for reading and reviewing my story! ^_^ I promise to answer all of your reviews when I get back from my afternoon tutoring session. Also, I know that not everyone has a set of TP's original books, but I keep mine next to my computer so I can refer to them whenever I feel the need to do so, which is quite often. So, to help you get oriented to my timeline, I wanted you to know that the setting for most of this chapter is the evening of the day that Lord Raoul asked Kel to be his squire and the following quote is from the first chapter of Squire, right before he observes Kel taking a few runs at the quintain. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_The practice courts were deserted. Lord Wyldon, the training master, had taken the pages to their summer camp earlier that week, ahead of the traffic that would clog the roads as the congress broke up. The combat teachers had gone with him; Kel saw only servants near the fenced yards where the pages and squires practiced. She'd thought that older squires might come out to keep their skills sharp, but none were visible._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Delicate Situations**

It had been almost six weeks since Kel and her year-mates became squires, but no knights had chosen either her or Neal because of the ongoing congress. She was a little bit disappointed that none of her friends acted any differently toward her after Neal revealed their new way of thinking about her as a '_girl_-girl.' Strangely, everyone actually seemed to be more relaxed around her instead. Kel also felt relieved, though, that she didn't have to handle any 'delicate situations' which might arise once someone declared his affection for her.

Most of the time, the squires had very little to do because the palace servants took care of the knights and other nobles while they were locked away in their meetings. However, the squires who were assigned to knight-masters had to wait in a chamber outside the main meeting hall so that they would be available to run errands at a moment's notice. Sometimes, the knight-masters would release their squires to get some exercise in the practice courts, but more often than not, the bored young men sat around playing cards or dice games until the meetings ended for the day.

Many of the noblemen and knights attending the congress, such as Lord Burchard of Stone Mountain and Sir Inness of Mindelan, stayed at their family town houses in Corus and usually only ate lunch at the palace. Others stayed in guest quarters at the palace and also ate supper in a dining hall that looked a lot like the pages' and squires' mess hall. Knights who stayed in town usually took their squires with them every evening and returned with them in the morning, so Kel rarely saw Cleon, Joren or Faleron.

After Lord Wyldon took the pages out to Lake Naxen for their summer camp training, the squires served only at the evening meals. It was much more relaxed than the Midwinter banquet service, but Master Oakbridge did not want the squires crashing into one another at the serving door, so he directed them in an orderly fashion as they handled the platters of food and pitchers of drinks. Once the knights and noblemen began their customary after-supper debates and story-telling, the etiquette master released the squires from their duties and they ate a late supper in their own mess hall.

A few weeks before the congress was over, Kel had looked around the supper table and tried to guess who, if anyone, intended to make his affection for her known. It never occurred to her to think of the squires who were absent in the evenings. Finally, Kel decided that the only thing she'd worry about was if and when someone would choose her as a squire.

* * *

Cleon was serving the after-dinner drinks to his knight-master, Sir Inness, and his family at the Mindelan town house. Baron Piers and his other sons, Sir Anders, Sir Conal and Avinar also sat in the cozy parlor and accepted the refreshments that Squire Cleon offered to them. Lady Ilane had retired to her room for the evening so that the men could talk freely.

"I hear you had quite a bit to say about Inness' decision to stay up at the cold Scanran border this past winter," said Conal, winking at Cleon. "When _I_ was a squire, we just did as we were told and-"

"Conal! You never did any such thing!" Anders rolled his eyes. "It's amazing you survived your knight-master's wrath at your inability to shut your mouth for any reason."

"Gentlemen-" Piers voice had a warning tone to it.

"Anyway, I don't think it was the _cold_ that my squire objected to necessarily," Inness smiled mischievously. "I caught him ... writing _poetry _one night."

"Oh? So it's a matter of the heart, is it?" asked Conal. "Is this going to get ... _interesting_? Should we send Avinar away to spare his tender young ears?"

"Hey!" protested the youngest member of the Mindelan clan. "I'm no baby! I know about females and such."

"And _such_ - I think not!" Conal teased. "You're just a pup!"

"That's enough, lads." Sir Piers quieted his sons and smiled kindly at Cleon. "Pardon the rowdiness, Squire Cleon. My sons have a way of pestering one another whenever they're together. Unfortunately, my daughters have the same tendency when _they_ are here, too. I don't know where they get it, but it's a terrible family trait."

Cleon blushed as he thought of the youngest Mindelan girl - the one he wished he could be with now, instead of here with all of her male relatives. He reached for the water pitcher to refill the goblets, but not before his knight-master noticed the expression on his red face.

x-x-x-x-x

Later, as they were preparing to go to sleep, Inness sat on his bed and looked down at Cleon, who was lying on his pallet with his hands behind his head. Inness reached for the candle to snuff it out, but then the knight changed his mind. He suddenly felt the need to reassure his brooding squire.

"I apologize for telling tales on you down there tonight, Squire Cleon," Inness said quietly. "I'll be more careful in the future so that you won't have to deal with a 'delicate situation' in my family."

Cleon sat up and gave his knight-master a questioning look.

"If either of my younger brothers catches any hint of you having romantic feelings for our youngest sister, well ..." Inness chuckled and then he sighed. "All I can say is that you'll never hear the end of it. And Kel ... gods! She'd be mortified. You see, Avinar enjoys a good joke, but Conal can be rather _abrasive_."

"Sir, I ..." Cleon's face turned beet-red. "How did you guess, Sir Inness?"

"I saw your poetry, remember?" Inness grinned. "Tonight, when my father mentioned my sisters, I saw you blush and then I just ... understood. By the way, I don't think Kel's really the type of girl who goes for poetry."

"So I've been told." Now Cleon chuckled as he remembered Neal's recent advice. "But sir, I wrote those verses before I knew she'd rather challenge me to a wrestling match than listen to me sing her praises with flowery prose."

Inness shrugged. "Well, the congress is almost over. Perhaps there will be a free moment or two before we head back to the border. I can't promise you anything, but you have my permission to at least tell her how you feel. We all like you here at House Mindelan. And I _know_ you won't ... misbehave." Then he winked at Cleon and blew out the candle.

* * *

The congress would be ending within a few days and Sir Paxton planned to take Joren back to the desert as soon as possible because he would be training another knight to assume his duties during the coming year. Sir Khalid al Jumah, one of the earliest knights of Bazhir descent and his fourth-year squire, Giles of Meron, would take charge of the desert outpost the summer after Giles passed his Ordeal of Knighthood.

Joren knew Giles through Zahir; both of them were from Persopolis and their families were very close. Giles of Meron had been Zahir's page-sponsor during their first year at the palace and he was one of only a few older pages who had been kind to Joren back then. Joren liked the older squire and he knew that Giles had requested the desert assignment specifically because it was located so close to his hometown.

Sir Paxton had given his squire the evening off so that they both could have some time alone with their families before they headed south. At Marbleton, the Stone Mountain family's Corus town house, Joren sat across the table from Lord Burchard and waited for him to finish eating his second slice of apple tart. This was the last opportunity for him to speak privately with his father before they all departed from Corus.

Lord Burchard finally pushed away his plate and looked at his only son. "I have spoken with Ebroin of Genlith, my steward here in Corus, and it comes down to this," His voice was brisk. "The harshest penalty for kidnapping another noble's servant is a monetary fine. We don't think that will ruin your chances for a betrothal with the haMinch girl, but I'm looking at a few other young ladies just in case General Vanget decides to reject you as a suitable mate for his daughter."

When his father arrived in Corus, Joren immediately told him about his role in Vinson's messed-up scheme to get rid of Keladry of Mindelan by kidnapping her maid. Unfortunately, Joren completely had forgotten about his father's betrothal negotiations concerning Rhiannon haMinch, the general's daughter. At first Lord Burchard harshly berated Joren for endangering the negotiations, as well as for being so stupid about paying the criminals. Then he said that Joren just should have _given_ Vinson the money to carry out his insane plan.

Lord Burchard continued. "As far as the law is concerned, the only possible crime is that the Mindelan wench was deprived of the services of her maid for a day or so. It's a trifle of a case, but I've retained a good lawyer for you and I've agree to pay whatever the court determines is appropriate. Hopefully our advocate will be successful in arguing for leniency, but it doesn't really matter - as long as you do your part. We don't want the Minchis to see you as callow or cruel."

"Thank you, Father." Joren did not break eye contact. "I apolo-"

"Nonsense!" exclaimed Burchard. "At least you _tried_ to do something about 'The Girl.' Mithros! I can't believe she's actually a squire now. Blast those progressives and their foolish policies!"

"What about Vinson?" Joren asked. He was concerned about his insane friend's ability to defend his actions. "Did Ebroin say anything about his nephew's defense?"

"Vinson is another matter entirely." Lord Burchard's expression hardened. "The plan to kidnap that girl's maid wasn't the smartest thing you two young fools could have implemented, but _you're _the one who decided to pay those criminals. They'll identify _your_ noble hands as the ones that placed the coins in their filthy, common hands. Therefore, when you appear before the magistrate, _you _will take full responsibility."

"_What?_ It was _Vinson's _stupid idea all along!" Joren protested. "Father, I don't understand!"

"Joren, there's much that you do not understand." Burchard said tiredly. "The House of Genlith is a very powerful House; they're not quite as wealthy as we are, but they are influential in many important ways. Ebroin has made a variety of ... arrangements for me over the years. I need to be able to depend on his continued _discretion_, especially with regard to 'delicate situations' such as your betrothal, among other things. Now, as a favor to them, Vinson's father - Ebroin's brother - and I expect your full cooperation in this matter."

"But, Father, I only _paid_ those men," Joren continued to protest. "Vinson worked out all the details - and he changed the original plan, too. Kela- I mean, 'The Girl' wouldn't have gotten injured if Vinson had stashed the maid in the empty building like I told him."

"Joren, think! Neither you nor that Genlith whelp is known for being intelligent, but you must get this through your thick skull." Lord Burchard's voice was full of bitterness as he glared across the table at his son. "Since you so brilliantly paid the kidnappers, the criminals _and_ the officials will identify you as the person in charge of that ill-fated plan. What more is there to understand? You should be grateful that I'm willing to pay for everything."

Joren didn't say another word. He knew that Vinson's family was not a family to cross, but he didn't think it was fair that his friend should get off completely. Unfortunately, Joren also had known that he was doomed ever since Duke Turomot addressed everyone in the mess hall. He heart sunk as he realized that once the case went to trial, Kel never would trust him again.

Lord Burchard did not know that it was 'The Girl' who had helped his son overcome his academic difficulties. He didn't know that, in a very strange way, his son's heart truly belonged to 'The Girl' who was now the realm's newest squire. And Joren definitely couldn't explain to his father that by accepting full responsibility for the kidnapping of the maid, Lalasa, he would be destroying any chance he might have had for the future he so desperately desired with Keladry of Mindelan.

A new thought suddenly occurred to Joren and he began to hold on to a little glimmer of hope. Perhaps he could speak privately to Kel and apologize to her before he left for the desert. Perhaps she could forgive his stupidity, if not his actions. Joren knew he had to try, even if it meant defying his father's directives to stay away from the Mindelan girl until the trial.

* * *

The following morning, the whole palace was buzzing with the news that Lord Raoul, the Knight Commander of the King's Own, had taken on 'The Girl' as his squire. Both Cleon and Joren went to Kel's rooms in the squires' wing - at different times during the day - but they kept missing her. Kel was busy moving her things into her new quarters and getting her horse settled in to the Own's stable, as well as a hundred other errands.

Cleon was very disappointed that he'd not had the chance to tell Kel how he felt about her. Sir Inness would want to leave for the border as soon as the congress ended and if Cleon didn't find Kel before they left, he'd have to wait until Midwinter to declare himself.

Joren was extremely frustrated that he'd not had the chance to apologize to Kel and explain to her that he never meant for her or her maid to get hurt. He wanted Kel to understand that he had gone along with Vinson's plan only because he so desperately needed her to leave the palace and become a regular young lady - a lady for whom he already cared deeply enough to defy his father's choice of a bride for him.

Neither young man had the chance to Kel how much she meant to him. The next time either of them was able to look for the girl squire in her new rooms, she was gone - the Own had departed before dawn to give aid to the townspeople of Haresfield in the Royal Forest, and they wouldn't see each other again until much, much later.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Joren. :-( I don't know why I keep trying to save the guy, especially since he's so messed up, but it's just something I have to do. I guess that's why I'm writing this is as an AU story. More drama to come! ;D**

**Please Read and Review. Thanks! :D **


	24. Only in Dreams

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Okay, I'm jumping ahead in time again. Some readers wish I would move along at a faster pace, but there are things I **_**must**_** write about so that the AU parts of my story make sense. This chapter takes place in late autumn, 456 H.E., after Kel's first few missions as Lord Raoul's squire with the King's Own, but prior to the arrival of the Yamani ladies. So, Kel's already had encounters with Dom and Lerant, killed a centaur, become foster mother to a baby griffin, witnessed lots of hangings and beheadings, tilted against Raoul and others (including Garvey), accompanied her knight-master to a Bazhir headman's wedding in the desert and then more missions in the Royal Forest. I hope that helps you understand where I am on the timeline. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_In her dream, Kel faced Joren of Stone Mountain, Vinson of Genlith, and Garvey of Runnerspring ... Although she rarely saw them, Kel still dreamed of them, and they were still her foes. In this dream Joren - White-blond, blue-eyed, fair skinned, the loveliest man Kel had ever seen - grabbed Kel's left ear between his thumb and forefinger. Smiling, he pinched Kel's ear hard, fingernails biting through cartilage to meet. Kel sat up with a yell. Her dream vision of the older squires vanished. The red-hot pain in her ear went on. She grabbed for it and caught a mass of feathers and claws that scored her hands. The griffin had gotten out of its cage, climbed on to Kel's bed, and buried its beak in her ear._

_--Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Only in Dreams**

Once again, Kel woke up from a dream, in which Joren was hurting her, only to find that the baby griffin had attached itself to her body in a different and painful way. This time, Kel's dream really unnerved her because Joren's dream-self had been kissing her very nicely while standing in the doorway to her room and then he suddenly started clawing at her chest to rip out her heart. When she awoke, the baby griffin had jumped on top of her bedroll and was kneading its claws through her covers and into her tender skin.

"Ugh! You little monster!" Kel groaned as she lifted the immortal, claws still entangled in her blanket, off of her. "You didn't have to claw me to wake me up." Then she placed the beast back onto its perch and fed it a breakfast of dried venison strips.

Kel went through the rest of her morning routine as quietly as she could; she knew her knight-master didn't want to be disturbed this morning. Today, the Own was returning to the palace and Raoul knew he would have to attend boring meetings and social events. Kel had discovered that he truly preferred life away from the city and would do practically anything to prolong his time out on missions - including sleeping in late before riding back to Corus.

As she performed her pattern dances with her glaive, Kel wondered why she dreamed of Joren so often. Practically every dream of him ended in some kind of painful event, regardless of whether the baby griffin woke her at the end of the dream. The handsome squire really had been nice to her for the past two years and the memory of his Midwinter kiss and poem still made her tingle. Kel saw Joren only in dreams, but she just couldn't shake the feelings of dread those dreams gave her.

* * *

Once again, Joren's dreams tormented him and he shifted uneasily in his sleep. In one dream, Keladry of Mindelan was fully covered in many layers of shiny silver armor from head to toe. Joren's dream-self had to peel off piece after piece after frustrating piece of metal before Kel finally stood before him in a simple white nightdress. Still, it was as though he couldn't see her clearly - his vision seemed to be clouded by a thick fog. Kel's dream-self always evaporated into the mist of Joren's dreams.

In another, more disturbing dream, Joren was holding Kel in his arms and looking into her more-green-than-brown hazel eyes. As his dream-self leaned in to kiss her, her eyes turned black with hatred and she pushed him away from her violently. He reached out for Kel, but this time her dream-self melted away like liquid candle wax and slid like oil through his fingers. When Joren woke up, he was clutching his thin covers tightly in his fists.

"_Mithros! This is ridiculous!_" Joren thought as he untangled himself from the covers. "_I understand where these dreams of Kel came from, but they have to stop._"

Joren went through his morning routine as quietly as he could and dunked his head into a bucket of water to wash away his dreams. He stifled a yelp when the chilled water touched his scalp; his knight-master didn't want to be disturbed this morning, because they had been up quite late the previous night. Joren left the tent and silently waved to his fellow squire who pointed at his own wet head and grinned. The day already was hot and having wet hair often made the men feel much cooler until they donned their burnooses.

Earlier that week, Sir Khalid and Squire Giles had traveled deeper into the desert to attend the wedding of Khalid's brother, who was headman of his tribe. Joren wished that they would have stayed away for a longer time, because now Sir Paxton wanted to get back to the palace sooner. The knight had been discussing potential departure dates with his squire when Khalid and Giles rode into the camp. After the travelers washed up and ate a good meal, they all talked for a while as the stars appeared in the velvet sky.

In the morning, Joren remembered both the heated discussions from the previous night and the disturbing dreams they had caused. He vigorously shook the water from his hair as if that would dislodge the memories from his mind. The sudden action did not have the desired effect, and instead, Joren's head started to pound.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

_**Flashback to the previous evening**_

"We saw 'The Girl' - Keladry of Mindelan - at Sir Khalid's brother's wedding," Squire Giles told Joren as they sat by the campfire. "It's hard to believe that she's now the squire for the Knight Commander of the King's Own, Lord Raoul."

"Yes, it is hard to believe," Joren admitted. "But ... she is ... sort of my friend."

"Really?" Giles lifted his eyebrows. "Zahir used to tell me stories of the fights you and the girl got into when she first arrived at the palace. I wouldn't have thought you'd overcome something like that."

"Well, I _was_ her page-sponsor, the only volunteer for the job." Joren was grateful that the shadows from the firelight hid his blushing face from the older squire. "Do you remember when Lord Wyldon and the headmaster assigned mandatory study partners that year?"

"Oh, yes, I remember that." Giles nodded. "Actually, I was glad not to need to baby-sit a new page when that happened. My assigned study partner was another fourth-year page - a real math genius - so that helped me a lot."

"Had you planned on sponsoring someone then?" asked Joren. "I know most fourth-years don't bother with that. I certainly didn't."

Giles nodded again. "Unfortunately, a fierce sandstorm delayed my return to the palace that year, so I missed out on volunteering to sponsor the Mindelan girl myself. I thought it would be ... interesting." He shook his head when he saw the shocked look on Joren's face. "You see, my cousin, Sir Geoffrey, was a year-mate of the Lioness. He never guessed that 'Alan' of Trebond was actually 'Alanna' during that whole time. He tells some great stories about the lady knight from when everyone thought she was a 'he.'"

"She really fooled everyone," Joren said bitterly. "My father was among the first of many nobles who called for _Sir_ Alanna to be stripped of her knighthood after her deception was exposed."

"Obviously, you've never seen the Lioness in action," Giles said slowly. "The Bloody Hawk tribe adopted her after they tested her in battle, and she's a Bazhir shaman, too. I've met her. Even after all these years, Sir Alanna is the best swordsman _anyone_ has ever battled. That's why she's still the King's Champion."

Joren made a rude noise. "My father said she's the champion because she slept with-"

Giles abruptly stood up, grabbed the front of Joren's shirt and pulled the surprised squire up to stand level with him. "Take care, Stone Mountain! As I said, the Lioness is my cousin's close friend and he holds her in the _highest_ regard. It is unwise to speak of a proven knight of the realm in so base a manner."

The squires' knight-masters immediately came over from their side of the fire to see what was happening between the two young men.

"Squire Giles, explain yourself!" Sir Khalid demanded. "And release your fellow squire, now!"

"Yes, sir." Giles immediately obeyed his knight-master and bowed to him. "Squire Joren and I ... we had a ... philosophical difference."

"Sir Khalid, Sir Paxton," Joren spoke up. "The fault is mine. I insulted a friend of Squire Giles' family. I ... I apologize. It won't happen again." He politely bowed to Giles, and then to both of the knights.

"Very well," Sir Paxton gave Joren a look that told him there would be further discussion about his behavior. "Why don't you two join us on the other side of the fire? Sir Khalid was beginning to tell me about his brother's elaborate wedding. Squire Joren, I want you to listen carefully and then be prepared to tell me of at least three differences between our northern wedding customs and the customs of our Bazhir brethren. I know my brother Merovec would have enjoyed this, and perhaps you will, too. The next time we are at Nond House, we'll have something interesting to tell Mero. Now, attend!"

Both of the squires moved their camp chairs to the other side of the fire and listened to Sir Khalid's vivid descriptions of the Bazhir wedding ceremony and the subsequent feasts. At first, Joren resented having to pay such close attention to the rambling story as though it was an academic lesson. Then he changed his attitude as soon as it occurred to him that, someday, his friend Zahir might invite him to such a ceremony and it would be nice to know what the customs were so that he wouldn't feel foolish.

After Khalid finished explaining the rituals that occurred on each day of the three-day celebration, he turned to Joren and asked, "Well, my northern friends, what do you think? Sir Paxton told me that you assisted him at the wedding of his brother, Squire Joren, so you are familiar with the northern customs. Squire Giles has grown up seeing both sets of traditions, but I'd like to know _your_ thoughts about our Bazhir wedding customs."

"Sir Khalid, everything sounds magnificent, except that I ... I think it's not fair," Joren hesitated and looked at his knight-master who nodded for him to continue, "Well, your brother didn't ever get to see what his bride looked like until _after_ they were married. What if she had been ... ugly or ... unpleasant?"

Sir Khalid laughed aloud. "Squire Joren, you embody the very essence of northern skepticism," said the knight. "My brother is our tribe's headman. The elders _never would_ have arranged for him to be wed to anyone but the most beautiful and cultured woman from all the neighboring tribes. The Voice would not allow them to make a poor match for such an esteemed member of our society. There is no doubt in my mind that my brother is the happiest man in the desert this week."

"But isn't it true that all the Bazhir women are covered and veiled from the time they ... um ... are able to bear children?" Joren felt his cheeks burning. "All I ever see walking around here are pairs of eyes surrounded by yards and yards of woven cloth. How is it right to keep a bride hidden from her groom until it's too late to do anything about it?"

Joren actually had been thinking about the long, drawn-out betrothal negotiations his father had entered into recently. Ideally, in his irrational mind, Joren longed for Kel to become his betrothed. His rational mind understood that this was highly unlikely ever to happen. Even if Kel miraculously became a regular lady of the Court, her family was not noble enough for his father's approval.

If he hadn't seen with his own eyes that Rhiannon haMinch was both pretty and pleasant, Joren knew he would be upset, though there were far worse choices his father could make for him - he had seen them. His sister's warnings were accurate; except for Rhiannon, the few young ladies from other Book of Gold families were plain-looking, dull and boring. Joren told himself he'd rather die than be forced to wed someone he couldn't bear to look at or be near.

The fact that Joren didn't _want_ to be married to the haMinch girl was irrelevant; if he truly did not enjoy his marriage bed, he knew he could follow his father's well-worn path and acquire mistresses who were more to his liking. The only problem was that Joren had decided not to be so much like his father. For now, he returned his attention to what Khalid had continued to say.

"Ah, yes, but therein lies the true beauty of our ways," Khalid was explaining. "As you have pointed out, among our desert tribes, a respectable woman must be covered whenever she is outside of her family's tent or villa. You see, we Bazhir cherish and respect our women. On his wedding night, my brother knew for certain that _his_ eyes were the only eyes ever to see his bride in all her glory - not even her father or brothers had seen her true form since she was a young girl. _That's_ the kind of union I want, too."

"But ... how can your brother be sure that he married the _right_ girl if he didn't know who his other choices might have been?" Joren asked. "In the north, all of the eligible ladies are presented at Court. While it's true that most of us have very little say in the matter of our betrothals, at least we know who all the choices are. How can you Bazhir be sure you'll make a good match if you aren't allowed to meet the ladies before you're wed?"

This time Sir Paxton laughed. "What you see in a pretty gown isn't always what you bargained for after the wedding night. There are no guarantees of happiness in marriage, Joren. All of us hope for the best and most of us are more than satisfied." Then he smiled. "But some of us ... are very lucky, indeed."

"Joren, believe me," Sir Khalid said. "My brother and his new wife are quite lucky. Everyone could see it in their eyes when they rejoined the celebration after their wedding night. Even through her veils, the bride radiated joy."

"Obviously, my family usually follows the northern customs," Giles interjected, "but one of my sisters married into a Bazhir tribe - actually, our friend Zahir is her brother-in-law now - and she told me how glad she was to not have to fuss with all the northern ways of Midwinter balls and fancy gowns and such anymore. For her, the Bazhir life is a simpler life and _she_ chose it - against my mother's protests, I might add."

"That's ... very interesting," Sir Paxton finally spoke up. "In his travels and studies, my brother found that most northern ladies would have little desire to follow traditional Bazhir customs. Honestly, quite a number of northern women aren't even following _our_ traditions anymore, especially since females can be Riders or even ... knights."

"I suppose my sister is a bit odd," Giles grinned, "but what woman isn't? I'm not sure which lady my father will pick for me, but I have confidence in his choice. He knows what I like." Then he thought of something and laughed. "Wouldn't it be funny if all the northern ladies suddenly covered themselves? I'll bet there would be a lot more interesting matches."

Joren shook his head. "Humph! I can't think of any ladies of the Court who would hide themselves from view willingly." He smiled at the memory of the previous year's Midwinter balls. "They all parade around quite nicely in their fine clothes, and I, for one, am glad of that. It's good to be able to see what might be mine someday."

"Hah! That's exactly what is wrong about _your_ ways." Khalid's voice sounded a bit irritated. "The northern customs allow for - and even encourage - _every_ man to see the treasure that a husband could and should have only for himself. I admit that I'm selfish and old-fashioned; I don't want anyone else to have thoughts about what will be mine someday."

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, let's not turn this into an argument," Paxton soothed. "I am certain that our neighbors, the Yamanis and the Tyrans and the others, all have their own opinions on the proper ways of courtship and marriage. Let us agree tonight that everyone's customs have their merits."

The other men relaxed and nodded. Giles quietly admitted, "No matter what culture they're from, women are very mysterious to me. It makes no difference whether they're veiled and covered or if they're dressed up for everyone to see - it's as though they all have a thousand secrets."

Paxton chuckled and looked up at the starry night sky, "Yes ... they do. And discovering those secrets is one of the things that make this life worth living." He got up out of his chair and stretched. "Well, gentlemen, I think that will be enough for tonight. I do not intend on greeting the sunrise. We may continue the discussion after our breakfast."

_**End of flashback**_

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Joren sighed and started to walk toward the mess tent for breakfast. He did not want to continue the discussion of northern and Bazhir wedding customs. He did not want to discuss betrothals or weddings at all. Such talk reminded him that only in dreams could he have his heart's desire, and even then he could not hold on to Kel. Joren changed his mind and went in search for the camp healer to get some headache-relieving tea instead.

* * *

**A/N: The inspiration for this chapter came from the beginning of Chapter 7 of ****Squire:**

_**"A week of flying lessons later, Raoul took his squire and half of Third Company into the Bazhir desert. They represented the Crown at a headman's wedding and negotiated the end of a blood feud between two tribes."**_

**I started to think, 'what if some of my characters met them at that wedding?' and the chappie came to life! I adapted most of the dialogue from a past discussion between two of my colleagues, one of whom is from a Middle Eastern family. It wasn't exactly part of my original story outline, but as I said, the info is important to the plot. Never fear, the next update is almost ready for uploading, too. Please R & R. Thanks! :D**


	25. Together Again

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: OMG! You fabulous readers have written over 300 reviews! Thank you so much!! (Sniff - she wipes away a tear of joy.) So ... as promised, here's the next chapter. I had hoped to post this earlier, but I went to see a great play, Oscar Wilde's 'The Importance of Being Earnest' at my local high school. Anyway, thanks again for reading my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_That night she went to eat in the pages' and squires' mess for the first time since she'd joined Raoul. It was November, the end of the raiding season in most of the country. Many knights and squires would be returning for the winter._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Together Again**

Kel fell into her bed with a silly grin on her face. After such a long and dusty ride back to Corus, seeing her friends had lifted her spirits. Her page friends, such as Owen and his cousins, had waved gleefully from their side of the mess hall. Her squire friends were a bit more dignified, but they were surprised to see her because the rumor was that she only ate with the Own now. Kel sat across from Neal and Cleon during supper and they all traded stories about the adventures they'd had. She didn't mention it, but Kel thought it was odd the way her two friends kept nudging each other about something unspoken.

The evening had been full of surprises. Neal surprised Kel by asking if she wanted to trade knight-masters with him - the Lioness apparently had been 'sharpening her claws' and he was having difficulty adjusting to her tempers. Cleon surprised Kel by being extremely polite to her and not calling her by any of the ridiculous names she had grown accustomed to hearing from him. Even her brother Inness had winked at her and smiled from across the room as he ate at Lord Wyldon's table. That was quite the surprise.

The best surprise of all was that Kel was reunited with some of the Yamani people she knew from her childhood. Her friend, Lady Yukimi noh Daiomoru, had surprised every male in the mess hall by barging in during supper time and asking to speak with Kel. And later, Kel was surprised to find that Prince Roald's betrothed, Princess Shinkokami, was none other than her childhood playmate known then as Cricket. The Yamani ladies surprised Kel further by inviting her to join them for dawn practice with her glaive.

It was good to be together again with so many of her friends. Only as she was drifting off to sleep did Kel wonder when Joren would return to the palace. There were things she wanted to say him and questions she wanted him to answer. Kel hoped she would be able to untangle the mysterious jumble of feelings she had for the squire. Perhaps then, Joren would cease to haunt her dreams.

* * *

_A dry summer and a delay in the winter rains in the south bred problems. First the hill folk near Fief Shaila tried to rebel, laying siege to the local army fort. Third Company rode to free the garrison and hunt those responsible. No sooner had Raoul punished the worst troublemakers and gotten pledges of loyalty from the rest than word came from the village of Sweetspring: forest fires, in the hills between the village and the Drell River. Third Company rode hard to get there and worked harder still to clear wide strips of ground, trapping the fires within them. For two weeks they labored beside hill people, Bazhir, soldiers, and the other inhabitants to save forests and villages. At last the rains came, adding a layer of mud to the soot ground into Kel's skin._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Neal sat down next to Cleon at the squires' table and promptly started to ramble on about the lovely Yamani ladies who had come to Court. Finally, the talkative squire noticed that the big redhead did not seem to be his usual cheerful self. No one else was at their table yet, so Neal started to probe a bit. He was certain that he knew why his friend looked so forlorn.

"Hey, Cleon," Neal nudged him. "Did the servers forget to give you two of everything on your tray? Is your hair curled up too tight this morning? Come on ... tell 'Uncle' Neal what's wrong today."

"I missed her - again." Cleon looked over at Neal and poked at his food some more. "When I finally had time to go see her, she was gone. Third Company got called out on another mission last night. There's no telling when she'll be back. It's as though the gods are conspiring to keep us on different schedules."

"So ... Kel doesn't know you like her, yet, huh?" Neal patted his friend on the shoulder. "I suggest you say something the very next time you see her. I tried to get you to make a move when we were at supper the other night, but you wouldn't cooperate."

Now Cleon glared at Neal. "Declaring myself to Kel in the mess hall is _not _what I had in mind. It was completely ridiculous the way you kept nudging me and Sir Inness kept winking at us. I'm surprised she didn't notice it. I'm surprised other people didn't notice it." He dropped his head into the palms of his hands.

"Notice what?" Faleron said as he sat down next to Cleon.

"Faleron!" Neal exclaimed, deflecting the attention away from Cleon and the topic of their discussion. "When did you get back?"

"Late last night," Faleron said as he stuffed his mouth full of scrambled eggs. "I saw Kel leaving out when I had finished grooming the horses. The King's Own is a sight to see - even in the middle of the night!"

"I'll bet it is," Cleon said sourly. "You're lucky if you can see them at all."

Faleron regarded Cleon more carefully. "Are things between you and-" He let the question trail off as Neal shook his head. "So ... she doesn't return your affec-"

Cleon slapped the table and stopped Faleron from finishing his statement. "Mithros! I haven't had the chance to talk to her yet! Why can't everybody just stay out of my business?" Then he picked up his tray and walked over to hand it to a servant. He did not look back at the table when he exited the mess hall.

"What did I say?" asked Faleron. "I just thought that ... maybe if Kel doesn't like Cleon, then she might care for ... someone else."

Neal shook his head again. "Kel's been gone a lot. I think she really enjoys being with the Own and all, but Cleon can't ever catch her by herself - not even for a minute."

"Oh." Faleron shrugged. "Still, if our tall friend doesn't do something sooner rather than later, then he needs to step aside and let somebody else try."

Neal flinched. "Some friend you are! Don't be so hard on Cleon. Kel really is away from the palace most of the time. We might get to see her at Midwinter, but then again we might not. Lord Raoul is notorious for figuring out other places to be during the social season."

"That's too bad." Faleron said sympathetically. "I thought that by now Cleon would be strutting around with Kel, seeing if he could press his advantage as her brother's squire. You know, meeting with the family and getting on their good side, anything to acquire some kind of early betrothal. That's what I would do."

"Whoa! Slow down there, Faleron." Neal laughed, but then he lowered his voice as other squires started walking toward their table. "I don't think Kel will be thinking about marriage until well _after_ she earns her shield. No one else should be thinking about it any time soon either."

* * *

"Hello, Squire Keladry!" Squire Giles of Meron greeted the soot-covered girl squire. "Do you remember me? We met at my knight-master's brother's wedding - the Bazhir wedding." The tall, lean squire pushed a lock of sun-bleached blond hair out of his friendly brown eyes and extended his arm to her.

Kel wiped her grimy hands on her breeches, clasped Giles' much-cleaner, outstretched forearm and smiled. "Yes, of course! It's good to see you again, Giles of Meron, squire to Sir Khalid al Jumah."

"You do remember!" Giles sounded pleasantly surprised. "It looks like everything is under control here." He looked around at the charred trees and blackened dwellings.

"It's been a struggle," Kel admitted. "Actually, I think I'd rather fight bandits than fight flames. At least bandits are somewhat predictable."

Giles laughed. "Joren was right - he said you had an interesting sense of humor."

"Joren?" Kel blinked. "You know Joren of Stone Mountain?"

"Yes, we're at the same outpost." Giles nodded. "Sir Khalid and I will be replacing Sir Paxton and Squire Joren next year after I pass my Ordeal. They will have to travel with the King's Progress so that Joren may continue his formal training along with the rest of you squires. My knight-master and I both asked for assignments close to our desert homes and here we are."

"That sounds great. I hope _I'll_ be assigned close to my home someday." Kel looked around. "Is Joren here? I haven't seen him in a long time." She was so tired after every day's hard work that she slept soundly and she really hadn't seen Joren, not even in her dreams.

"No, he and Sir Paxton were called away on some sort of official business." Giles explained. "Sir Khalid and I came here to help as soon as we could. There have been a lot of raids near our camp because the crops in southern Tusaine did poorly again this year."

"Well, I know Lord Raoul will be pleased to see you and Sir Khalid. The local people appreciate all the help they can get," Kel led Giles toward her knight-master's tent. "Let's see what--"

Kel never finished her sentence because heavy drops of rain started falling and in a very short time everyone and everything was soaked. The stench from the now wet _and_ burnt land was awful, but everyone was able to bear it as they sat down and ate a hearty, if soggy meal that evening. Lord Raoul also knew Sir Khalid and they had a good time chatting in the mess tent about their past adventures in the desert while Kel and Giles waited on them.

Every so often, Kel would catch Giles watching her with an amused look on his face. She meant to ask him what was so funny; she assumed that her appearance - stringy hair, sooty clothes, and wrinkled tunic - was the cause of the older squire's mirth. Giles was covered with road dust when he had arrived at their campsite, but he still looked fresher and more proper than Kel possibly could after her few weeks away from hot baths. She never would have guessed that the older squire was not laughing at her.

Instead, Giles was amused by his thoughts about the many pieces of wadded-up paper Joren left behind at their camp, crammed into the back of the field desk the squires shared. He was certain that his fellow squire had intended to burn the papers and not let anyone see them, but Joren and his knight-master had to answer their odd summons immediately. They obviously planned to return to the camp, so they had packed quickly and left some of their possessions behind.

Each discarded scrap of parchment in the squires' desk had the beginning of some sort of letter or poem which Joren had tried to write. Most of the writing was appalling - poor spelling, mismatched words, sappy sentiments - and Giles was not surprised that Joren had neither completed nor sent them. The thought that made Giles smile the most was that everything Joren had attempted to write had been about or addressed to the squire who was serving tea to their knight-masters at that very moment - Keladry of Mindelan.

* * *

_"I hear the two Yamani ladies with the princess aren't spoken for," Lerant said, grinning at Dom. "Thinking you might wangle an introduction, Sergeant Domitan?"_

_"I hoped my good friend Kel might take pity on me," Dom replied with a wink for her._

_Kel's heart turned over in her chest, just as it did whenever he noticed her. It wasn't fair for Dom to be so good-looking, she thought, or worse, so _nice.

_"I still prefer--" Raoul was saying when a sodden messenger walked into the tent. He clutched an oilcloth envelope in his hand. Kel took it, noting the seal: a crossed gavel and sword._

_... He gave her the parchment. "They've found who paid those two rogues to kidnap your maid in April," he told Kel. "We're going back for the trial."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

As they rode along the muddy road north, Kel knew she was being silly and that she needed to stop thinking about Neal's cousin as anything more than a friend. There were so many other young men, closer to her own age that she could and probably should think about - like her fellow squires, Cleon or Faleron or even the friendly Giles of Meron.

Dom was a grown man, serving the realm with the King's Own and she was a fourteen-year-old girl squire, just beginning to serve her four years with Lord Raoul. Dom was gorgeous and self-assured, a constant flirt. Kel felt awkward and clumsy and shy whenever he smiled at her, which she thought he did far too often.

Lord Raoul once told Kel that Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle was one of the best natural commanders he'd ever seen. Someday, he'd probably command one of the companies. Dom never would consider marriage because then he would have to leave the Own. Marriage? Why was she thinking about marriage? Kel shook her head to get rid of such crazy thoughts. Drops of water from her rain-soaked hair splashed onto Peachblossom's wet neck and he twitched his muscles a bit.

The confused Kel was certain about one thing: if the sapphire-eyed charmer ever did leave the Own to get married, the lucky lady would be beautiful and refined - not boyish with scarred hands and arms. Kel now felt that she no longer could wear dresses without long sleeves - the marks of the baby griffin would be with her forever. And as though the little immortal knew she was thinking about him, he began to squawk louder in the pouring rain.

* * *

Joren listened to the patter of the raindrops against the window of his father's office in Corus. He stared across the table at his fellow squire, Vinson, and realized that the crazed person in front of him was no longer the friend he once knew. It was the first time they were together again since Lord Burchard had forbidden Joren to have any contact with his fellow squire.

Vinson glared at Joren in return. His dark hair hung down in greasy strands and his sallow skin looked worse than ever. He kept chewing on his fingernails and jiggling his leg nervously, making the whole table shake. There also seemed to be a permanent sneer on the lanky squire's face. It chilled Joren's blood to think that he used to be close with this almost-unrecognizable young man.

"You see? Your father's money can't buy you everything." Vinson's voice dripped with malice. "_My_ family has power. It's the greater protection by far. You won't be able to smooth-talk your pretty little face out of this mess."

Joren stiffened at Vinson's use of the word 'pretty' and then he knew for certain that their friendship was finished. Vinson knew that Joren hated such references to his looks. The handsome blond squire's true friends knew not to describe him that way.

"Vinson, this whole mess is--" Joren said through clenched teeth before Vinson interrupted him.

"Not my fault!" the mean-faced squire almost screeched. "It's not my fault that stupid maid ruined my face! It's not my fault those kidnappers weren't fast enough to get away from the dogs. It's not my fault you didn't hide your lovely face - the face that so easily wins you the hearts of all the ladies - from the criminals. It's not my fault that--"

"That will be enough, nephew." Ebroin of Genlith spoke with authority as he entered the office and sat down at one end of the table. "You have said quite _enough_."

The lawyer, Master Advocate Muirgen of Sigis Hold, followed Ebroin into the room and sat at the other end of the table across from the Stone Mountain steward. Joren's parents had not come down from their fief to attend the legal proceedings. Lady Virryn had a slight illness, and Lord Burchard used that as an excuse not to travel to Corus to watch his son's trial. Already, the snows were closing the mountain passes and it would be a while before anyone could get through.

"_Besides_," Lord Burchard had written to his son, "_this is such a simple legal case, my presence is not needed. I am certain that my steward and my lawyer can handle everything. Just do what they advise you to do._"

By Lord Burchard's decree, Sir Paxton was not to be informed of any of the details of what happened between Joren and Vinson and the kidnapping of the maid. Joren's father did not want his godsson to have to face the possibility of being called as a witness. The less Paxton knew about Joren's troubles, the better off he would be. Unfortunately, this left Joren entirely at the mercy of the other men - and they were not merciful.

For two weeks prior to the trial, Joren was practically a prisoner at Marbleton, his family's town house. He was not allowed to go anywhere or do anything, except trot his horse around the small exercise yard at the back of the house. Also, he was forbidden to send any messages to anyone at the palace. Sir Paxton was allowed to visit Joren, but only under the watchful eyes of the lawyer, the steward or both men. It was difficult for the honorable knight him to understand what was happening, but he let Joren know that he would be with him in the courtroom on the day of the trial.

Every day until the trial, Ebroin of Genlith and Master Advocate Muirgen repeatedly asked Joren questions about the kidnapping and made him practice his answers. They coached him to say only certain things and to offer only certain facts in a certain way. Joren would be the only one to pay for the crime of paying the kidnappers. Vinson's name was not to be mentioned - ever.

During that time, Joren got very little rest. Almost every night his dreams were filled with horrible visions of Kel's eyes turning cold and dark with hatred against him or glowing red with fury when she learned of his involvement in the kidnapping of her maid. He also dreamed of Vinson mocking him and taunting him that money couldn't buy everything and that power was the most important thing in the world. Every morning Joren woke up exhausted and full of dread; he hadn't felt so alone since his first days as a new page.

* * *

**A/N: A word about the previous chapter: please do not take my description of Bazhir customs to be **_**exactly**_** the same as our world's Middle Eastern customs. They are close - TP has said so, but only as a pattern. I'm writing about Joren's trial next, so please be patient with me because I'm really going deeper into AU territory. Oh, and please review my work. It's so lovely when you do that for me. Thanks! :D**


	26. Words Left Unspoken

**

* * *

**

The Only Volunteer

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine. In this chapter there are more lines of dialogue than usual, which came directly from the original book, but some of the lines have been altered. I'm sure you'll figure it out. ;D**

**A/N: Thank you for being patient with me. I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written. I hope you have a nice, comfortable chair to sit in while you read it. Here's where I really go deep into the AU. I'm also trying 'first-person' again - I was inspired by the 'return' of Sulia Serafine because I just discovered her fantastic stories, many of which she wrote in f-p. I hope you continue to like my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_"How far has the trial come?" Raoul asked the two young women._

_Lalasa smoothed her neat white linen apron with fingers that trembled. "The men have given their evidence," she said quietly. "They followed the man who hired them in case he chose not to pay them after. I do not properly understand why it took so long for this man to be captured, but they hold him now in the waiting room reserved for nobles." _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

_

* * *

_

**Words Left Unspoken**

I'm dining alone with my wife and I'm enjoying every minute of it. The Midwinter season will be upon us before we know it and I won't have her to myself for almost a month. Mithros! She's still the loveliest woman I've ever seen.

"Thayet," I said, "I want us to go to the courtroom tomorrow morning. You know, Duke Turomot is trying the case of those criminals who kidnapped your dressmaker last April. Raoul and his squire just arrived back at the palace tonight, so they'll be there, too."

Thayet raised her beautifully-arched eyebrow at me. "Really, Jon, why do you want to go now? We've stayed out of this sort of thing for quite some time."

"I know, I know. But I was ... scrying." I hesitated to tell her because we both knew that looking into the future was not one of my strengths. "I don't truly understand everything I saw, but I feel that something important will happen in that courtroom tomorrow. It's nothing ... bad, but something vital to the future of the realm."

"Well," she sighed, "The dressmaker - Lalasa Isran is her name - was Keladry of Mindelan's maid at the time of that awful crime. I have had the pleasure of morning glaive practice with Lady Ilane since Roald's bride arrived and I know their family is very anxious about the outcome of the trial. Keladry is quite ... idealistic. They don't want her to be disappointed."

"Hmm. The Lord Magistrate follows the laws _exactly_ - even when it half-kills him to do so." I said. "I know Turomot will be fair, no matter what."

"There's nothing _fair_ about the entire situation, Jon," Thayet's voice tightened just a little and I knew what was coming next. "This never would have happened if you had allowed our Kally to be the first girl page. No one ever would have dared to haze her or bully her or threaten her personal servants."

I sighed. Here it was again - the same argument we'd been having for several years. Our oldest son, Roald, and Thayet always were close and my son confided in his mother, so my queen became aware of some of the bad situations that the Mindelan girl had endured and overcome. Thayet - and my champion, Alanna - believed that I should have intervened somehow and stopped the practice of hazing altogether.

It did not matter whenever I reminded my queen that Alanna's scrapes with the evilly insane Ralon of Malven forced my champion to become the best fighter in the realm. It did not matter that Alanna wasn't even using any of her magical Gift at that time. No, I had to stay away from such topics if I wanted to have my way tonight. Those words needed to remain unspoken.

"Thayet," I said in my warning tone of voice, "The past is the past. Let's not reopen that particular wound right now. Tomorrow, Lord Burchard's son will testify. I understand that Squire Joren was the one who hired the kidnappers."

"Stone Mountain! They've been a thorn in our side ever since we've been married." Thayet scowled. The way her regal nose wrinkled up, you'd think she had smelled something foul. "That old stiff-rump fights us on every matter that has to do with educating the commoners or allowing women to fight for the realm. Yet, he fancies himself to be a ladies' man! No wonder his son is such a--"

"Tsk! Tsk!" I smiled at my queen and scolded her playfully, glad to have deflected her off of the topic of Kalasin's training, "Surely you wouldn't besmirch the name of one of our wealthiest families, now would you?"

She softened her expression as I knew she would. "If you want us to go tomorrow, I'll gladly accompany you. Should we send the Lord Magistrate a message to let him know we'll be coming?"

"No, no. Let's just surprise everyone." My mischievous side took hold of me as I got up from the table and walked around behind my wife's chair. "It'll be good to see what they all do when they're ... unnerved."

"I don't think _anything_ unnerves Duke Turomot," Thayet stood up, turned around and draped her arms around my neck. "But it might be fun to see if the young Stone Mountain might fidget a bit."

* * *

_Lalasa ... looked at Kel. "He has not been named, but servants talk. Sir Paxton of Nond has attended each day. So too has Ebroin of Genlith, who is the Corus steward and representative of Lord Burchard of Stone Mountain."_

_When Kel saw who the noble culprit had to be, she almost laughed._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

I paced across my room, crisscrossing it diagonally and then going straight across. My steps and turns made an hourglass pattern on the floor as I paced back and forth. Back and forth. Across and turn. Over and over and over again.

I wasn't really nervous, but I knew that my pacing annoyed Ebroin of Genlith - a lot. So, I paced - a lot. It was good to be back in my own rooms in the squires' wing at the palace. However, all I had done was trade one 'prison' for another.

The trial began two days ago and for each of those days a palace guard had been posted outside my rooms to guarantee my attendance in the courtroom whenever the Lord Magistrate called for my testimony. Hah! They were fools if they thought I would run away. Perhaps Vinson is too cowardly to face the magistrate, but I am not.

My keepers, as I had come to see Ebroin and Master Advocate Muirgen, still would not let me speak or communicate openly with anyone at the palace about anything. I've eaten all my meals my rooms and they paid one of the stable hands to care for my horse. Thankfully, they also allowed my loyal servant, Spencer, to stay with me and his presence has been very welcome.

During the day, Ebroin escorted me to the special waiting room reserved for nobles. There, next to the courtroom, he allowed me to speak briefly about nothing important with Sir Paxton. I want to explain everything to my knight-master so that he won't keep looking at me with that awful mix of disappointment and dismay. There are so many words left unspoken between us. I can only imagine what he was thinking as he listened to the criminals and witnesses give their testimonies.

Every evening after the trial proceedings concluded for the day, Ebroin escorted me back to my rooms and waited for the guard to arrive. Spencer prepared my bath and then I ate supper by myself. I haven't slept very well for quite some time, although knowing that Spencer's nearby has made my life somewhat bearable. This evening, Ebroin was even more agitated than usual because the guard was late. And so I paced.

"I'm hungry," I told my father's steward as I followed my pattern across the floor. I was not going to take my bath or eat my supper until the odious man left my room. "Shall we ask Spencer to arrange for you to dine with me tonight?"

"No, thank you, but he may go to the kitchen to retrieve your supper now." Ebroin answered tersely and called for Spencer. "Be quick about it, man, and find out where the guard is."

Spencer politely nodded to Ebroin, but he turned to ask me, "Is there any ... _special_ food you would prefer this evening, Master Joren? I know you have your ... _own _favorites, but perhaps your desires have changed since you ... _returned_."

I looked at my long-time servant and blinked. Spencer never asked me that type of question. We held eye contact for a moment longer and he raised his eyebrow at me. I was stunned into silence until he turned away and headed for the door.

"Ah ... Spencer, wait," I finally understood that my servant was craftier than I had thought. He was offering to help me in a way I never would've considered by myself. "You are correct - I _do_ have my _own_ favorites now, especially since I got used to the food in the desert. Let me write you a list. That way, if they don't have what I'm hungry for in the kitchen tonight, you can work on obtaining these foods for me in the future."

I glanced at Ebroin while I hastily wrote a message on a scrap of paper:

**********

_K. -_

_I am very sorry for all this trouble. I did the wrong thing for a good reason, but I __only_ _paid the money. No one was supposed to get hurt. I must do this or I will be in more trouble. Please don't hate me._

_J._

**********

Then I folded up the paper and handed it to Spencer. Amazingly, Ebroin paid no attention to what was going on between me and my servant. The steward was quite preoccupied with the fact that he had been stuck with me for so long a time and all he wanted was to go to his own rooms and have a long, hot bath.

I only hoped Kel would read my quick note and understand. I begged the gods; _please, please, _please_ let Kel understand_. And then I paced.

* * *

_"I'm _angry_," Kel replied, her voice soft, one fist clenched. The others stared at her, startled. Kel rarely showed temperament of any kind. "Whatever was bad there, it was between me and him. He didn't care about Lalasa or Jump. He didn't care who got hurt, so long as he could fix me. And to put a smile on his face, and tell me how I might get a husband, when he was groping for a plan like this ...!" She got to her feet, unable to sit any longer. "Lalasa, Tian, thank you. My lord? If you'll excuse me, I need to think a bit."_

_Raoul nodded. "Kel ..."_

_She bowed to him and retreated to her rooms, closing the door firmly behind her. _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

I performed the ancient dance and made the patterns in the air with my wooden glaive. Step, slash, pivot and jab! Step forward and slash down. Step back and jab forward. Over and over and over again.

I decided to complete a second pattern dance to work off my anger toward Joren. _Joren!_ His name sounded so bitter in my mind that I wanted to spit. Step, slash, pivot and jab! How dare he pretend to be my friend and yet hurt Lalasa and Jump in such a way? How dare he tell me he could love me and then keep scheming behind my back to force me to leave the palace?

I imagined causing lots of pain to Joren's beautiful body and bruising his perfect face with my glaive. Step, slash, pivot and jab! I heard someone softly knocking on my door only because I'd paused to catch my breath.

Spencer, Joren's gray-haired manservant, was among the last people I would have expected to see. I know my mouth dropped open when I saw him there, standing in my doorway. His eyes looked worried and he looked around as though he was afraid of his own shadow.

"Spencer, what's wrong? What are you doing here?" I asked him quietly, not wanting to alert anyone else to the man's presence. We both knew that he had no business coming to my rooms at that moment. "Does ... anyone know you're here?"

"My master sent me, my lady. It was vital that I give this to you tonight." Spencer glanced in both directions down the hallway and reached into his pocket. He held out a small scrap of folded paper. "Please, my lady ... all is not as it seems. It's ... it's not right, but he dare not go against them."

"Them? Who are you--" I started to ask, but the sound of footsteps and men's laughter coming closer from around the corner of the next hallway made both of us jump back.

"I can't say, my lady." The old man whispered and he shook his head. "He ... my master, he cares for you ... in his own way. I ... I must go now."

Spencer quickly bowed and hurried off in the opposite direction of the footsteps. I ducked back into my room and silently closed the door. I knew that whoever was walking toward the corner down the hallway probably wouldn't recognize Joren's servant, but I didn't think that this would be a good time for people to ask questions.

Was this part of some new scheme? Part of me was so angry at Joren that I wanted to fling the message into the fireplace and never read it. No, Spencer looked genuinely worried. It was risky for him to deliver the note; the least I could do was to read the blasted thing.

What could Joren possibly have to say to me now? The other part of me was intensely curious. My fingers trembled as the inquisitive part of my mind triumphed over my furious soul and I unfolded the piece of paper. I shook my head as I recognized Joren's messy scrawl:

**********

_K. -_

_I am very sorry four all this troubel. I did teh rwong thing four a good reason, but I __olny_ _paid teh money. No won was supposed to get hrut. I muts do this or I will be in mor troubel. Pleas dont hat me._

_J._

**********

I smiled ruefully as I read and re-read Joren's note. There was no mistaking that it came from his own hand - he'd always had difficulty with the 'silent e' at the ends of words or the words that have more than one spelling for the way they sound. I remembered that Joren also made a lot of mistakes writing his letters in the proper order whenever he was rushed or pressured.

Then my traitorous mind dredged up the memory of Joren's surprising Midwinter kiss and that silly poem he'd given me. I had not looked at the poem since I compared the handwriting on the Balor's Needle note, so I walked over to my desk and pulled out the pieces of parchment. He had taken his time with that and there weren't the kind of mistakes that this new note had in it. Even though Spencer had said that Joren still cared for me, it was hard to make myself look at those earlier words:

**********

_I was the only volunteer_

_To show you the palace ways;_

_You were the only volunteer_

_To help me write my essays._

_When I saw you dressed as a lady -_

_Like all the others on a summer day,_

_I knew I could fall in love with you, _

_If you'd only let me say:_

_"Volunteer to leave your knight training_

_And volunteer to learn a lady's ways."_

_Then I will be the only volunteer_

_To love you for all of your days._

**********

Ugh! After I read the poem and Joren's new note again, it occurred to me what Joren's 'good reason' for doing such a bad thing might have been and it almost made me laugh. He really liked what he saw at my sister's wedding - when I was all dressed up like a proper lady - and that's when he kissed me the first time. That's also when he told me his 'secret' about being able to love the young-lady-version of me if I'd only abandon my training.

My Joren/griffin dreams suddenly made sense in an awful way. Why was Joren such a pain in my behind - and my head and my heart? Hadn't I told him over and over again that I _wasn't _leaving? Hadn't he done _everything_ else to make me go away and become a 'regular lady' as he put it? Why couldn't he just accept me the way I am? Why did I even care what he thought?

It now was obvious to me that Joren had acted out of his stupid desperation; the kidnapping was his last attempt at preventing me from becoming a squire, but at what cost? Everyone knew he was guilty and this trial was sure to tarnish his reputation, as well as his family's honor. What was he thinking? All I had was more and more questions, but no answers.

As I stared at Joren's handwriting, I noticed the scrawl on all the papers was the same - except for the note about trying Balor's Needle. The gorgeous squire still wrote like a new page - or someone even younger. That's why I didn't suspect him before - his poem was proof that he could not have written those other bad notes, either.

Joren's new note spoke of trouble. Something else was going on and his man Spencer had risked discovery because Joren wanted me to know about it. Was the wrong person on trial? Again, I couldn't understand what Joren meant by telling me all this now. There were too many words left unspoken here. Perhaps if he had tried to explain everything last summer, then ... then what?

Joren knew I hated heights and yet Balor's Needle was where I had to go to rescue Lalasa and Jump. All of us could have fallen to our deaths as we walked down the outer staircase of the tall tower. Would anybody have been more forgiving right after the kidnapping? Would _I_ have been more forgiving when I thought I would have to repeat all four years of page training? I don't think so.

No, Joren admitted that he paid the kidnappers. Mithros! All I wanted to do at that very moment was to pound some sense into Joren. What did he mean by saying that no one was supposed to get hurt? He paid _criminals_ to do his dirty work for him. What an asinine fool!

Sighing, I put away everything and got ready for bed. The effects of the long, grueling journey back to Corus finally overwhelmed me. I was so tired I barely could think straight and head hurt from all the swirling thoughts. Whatever or whomever was causing Joren all his trouble was not my concern tonight. If someone else was involved, the magistrate's officials would have to figure it out for themselves.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next day, just after I had finished my morning exercises, I heard soft knocking on my door. I wondered if it was Spencer again, back with another note from Joren. Warily, I opened my door and nearly lost my balance when I saw that Cleon was standing there.

"Kel! Thank the gods you're still here!" he exclaimed. "I've been so worried about you. May I come in?"

"Of course!" I quietly waved my good friend into my room and left the door ajar. It was still very early and I didn't want to disturb Lord Raoul. We had a long day in the courtroom ahead of us. "Cleon, it's so good to see you, but this isn't--"

Strong arms gathered me close to a solid chest and warm lips pressed against mine. It took me a moment to realize what was happening and when my tired brain caught up with my fluttering heart, I was dizzy anyway and grateful that Cleon held me so tightly. He loosened his hold on me and held me away from him just far enough so that he could look into my eyes.

"Kel, I've wanted to do that for so long," he explained. "I knew if I didn't catch you early this morning, then I'd probably never get the chance. I ... I hope I didn't ... um ... presume too much."

"Oh." I was still in shock and couldn't think of anything else to say.

Glimpses of past memories swirled through my mind and I suddenly realized how dense I'd been before. Out of all my friends, of course it would be Cleon! I thought of his flowery language and the recent extreme politeness around me. And Inness and Neal! All their winking and nudging. I felt like ten times the idiot for not noticing Cleon's affections sooner.

Then I felt like ten times the fool. While Cleon's kiss was very nice and his embrace made me feel safer than I'd felt in a long time, there was no tingle. I liked the kiss, but it was very much like Neal's kiss - warm and friendly and ... familial.

What's wrong with me? Cleon's one of the best, most trustworthy and kind men I know, but my lips only responded to the stolen kisses of my blond nemesis. Joren was the _opposite_ of Neal and Cleon and most of my friends - he was arrogant and sneaky and mean. Why couldn't I fall for someone who would be good for me, like Cleon? I knew I was blushing when the cute, big-hearted redhead smiled down at me and kissed my lips again.

"Kel? Was that alright?" he asked hoarsely. "The walls are still standing and neither of us turned into anything awful. Even the animals are quiet."

I looked around and saw that Cleon was right. Jump, the sparrows, and even the griffin were staring at us. It was eerily quiet as he leaned in for another kiss. Suddenly, I remembered a time when Joren joked that I should marry someone big like Cleon and raise young giants. He felt me stiffen and looked at me.

There was such hope in Cleon's eyes that I couldn't hurt his feelings. Not now. Not today. So I nodded and let him kiss me again. After that, I gently untangled myself from Cleon's arms and tugged on the hem of my practice shirt.

"I ... I have to get ready ... for the day," I stammered, willing my heartbeat to return to normal. Cleon's kisses may not have excited me in the same way that Joren's did, but they still were kisses and I hadn't had so many of them before.

Cleon backed up a step and nodded. "I'll be there in the courtroom with Sir Inness and your parents today."

"That will be ... nice." Even after all this time, it always surprised me that Cleon was my brother's squire. "I ... I can't believe it was Joren who did this awful thing."

"I know. It's terrible." he shook his head. "We all thought he'd changed. That's what he said anyway. Except, well, _Neal_ never trusted Joren."

"Neal barely trusts _us_," I laughed now, relieved to be able to release some of the tension I felt. "Really, Cleon, I must wash up and get ready. My lord will be awake very soon and--"

"Say no more, _young_ squire," Cleon grinned. "I do have a bit of experience with the duties and responsibilities, you know." His clear gray eyes twinkled and I instinctively knew he wanted to kiss me, so I grabbed my drying cloth and snapped it at him.

"Shoo! Go away!" I said playfully, but then I softened my expression as he exited my room. "Cleon ... I'll see you ... soon." And then I closed my door.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

My mind continued to buzz with emotions as I watched the courtroom proceedings. I was glad that Lalasa and I were surrounded by so many of our family members and close friends. Incredibly, the king and queen came to hear the day's testimony, too, but their presence didn't fluster me. Cleon's presence flustered me because of what had passed between us that morning, but I tried not to think about it. It was good to see Neal , Prince Roald and Lord Wyldon there, too.

I was so angry when I learned that the magistrate had agreed to reduce the punishments of the scoundrels who had kidnapped Lalasa and Jump because they were going to testify against the man who paid them. I wanted to scream my frustration. Where was the justice in that?

When Joren entered the courtroom, my stomach felt like it dropped to my feet. Despite everything, Joren still managed to look beautiful; he was taller and tanner than I remembered and his hair was bleached even lighter blond by his days in the desert sun. He was more dazzling in person than he was in my dreams. If it weren't for the knowledge that Joren was the cause of so much pain in my life, perhaps I really could fall for him.

The only thing that marred his appearance - besides the fact that his knight-master's brown and yellow never would look good on him - was that there were faint purplish-blue areas under his gorgeous sky-blue eyes. Anyone could see that Joren had not been sleeping very well. I supposed he knew that I had received his note. Nevertheless, Joren only addressed the monarchs and the Lord Magistrate; he did not even glance at me or Lalasa.

I listened and watched carefully. I wished I knew what was behind Joren's message and I hoped for some kind of clue. When the kidnappers identified Joren as the man who had paid them, Joren's lawyer, a man Lord Raoul told me was the best that money could buy, attempted to discredit the commoners' testimonies. I winced when the guards cuffed the criminals' ears after they protested the Master Advocate's courtroom tactics.

Most of the time, Joren had a bored, smug look on his face. It was infuriating to think that he considered these proceedings to be beneath him. I wanted to walk over and slap him myself, until I noticed a slight change in his facial expression. Now he was glaring at his father's steward and the Master Advocate.

A moment earlier, Joren's eyes had widened when his lawyer started to discredit the map and instructions that the squire had given to the kidnappers. I stole a peek at the writing on the map, and knew that Joren's hand couldn't have created it nor could he have written any of the instructions upon it. The handwriting was completely different. That made me wonder what sort of sneaky game was afoot. Joren's note had said he had to do this. What was going on here?

I stared at Joren and flinched when I saw the look in his eyes. I knew that look - I remembered it well from the days of Joren being my sponsor. It was a look of pure hatred. Joren _despised_ the two men who were his counselers. Could they be the 'them' that Spencer feared?

_

* * *

_

Kel wasn't sure why their majesties had come, but she could ask Raoul later. He would know.

_--Tamora Pierce, Squire_

* * *

When the guard outside the waiting room came in to tell me that the king and queen had made a surprise appearance in the courtroom, I only smiled. Now my esteemed parents would regret that they had not come down from the mountain to be here with me. I already knew that my father would regret not coming - he said he was willing to pay any fines or fees and I meant for him to pay well.

I suspected that Keladry probably wouldn't want to speak to me ever again. Spencer had delivered my note to her, but that was no guarantee of her understanding or of her willingness to forgive. I couldn't even look at her; there were too many words left unspoken between us now. I would have to live with the consequences of my stupidity, even though Vinson would escape all blame.

My former friend wasn't even in Corus - Vinson's uncle wanted him to be far away with his knight-master in the event that I slipped up and gave his name during my testimony. I told the lawyer to just pay the fine, but Ebroin convinced Sir Paxton to 'encourage ' me to present myself to the magistrate and defend my family's honor.

I wondered again what my father had done to be in such a disadvantaged position to 'throw me to the wolves' and it sickened me that I was being forced to cooperate with this farce of a trial. I had decided to tell as much of the truth as I could get away with today. Unlike Vinson and his uncle, I still had _some_ honor.

Since the law said we had to pay a fine, I wanted to make sure that Stone Mountain paid the maximum amount. When I confessed to paying the criminals, the magistrate was certain to decide in favor of a large fine. That would suit me - and punish my father - very nicely. Perhaps Kel would be more willing to forgive me when I handed her a bag of gold coins for her troubles.

I could hardly believe my ears when Master Advocate Muirgen began to argue that the documents I gave the kidnappers - the ones Vinson gave me to give to them - were insufficient evidence to find me guilty. He insinuated that they were fakes. When he and Ebroin gave each other a brief look and a slight nod, I knew the game had changed.

Muirgen boldly questioned the use of court mages to attest to the documents' validity. Suddenly, I understood that if anyone was to compare my handwriting with the writing on those documents, _nothing_ would match. Mithros! That hired smooth-talker was trying to weasel out of paying the money we owed Kel. I had to do something - anything - quickly!

"Oh, stop this currish babble," I said coldly. I could feel everyone's eyes fixing on me. "Ebroin and Muirgen have talked at me for days. I'm weary of it. I paid those idiots to steal the wench, but Balor's Need--"

My heart ached as I saw my honorable knight-master drop his head into his hands. I knew I was disappointing him with every word I said. My blood ran cold when my father's steward and the high-priced lawyer rushed to my side and interrupted my speech. I knew they feared I would tell the _whole_ truth now.

"Squire, Master Joren, I beg you, not another _word_," Ebroin's smarmy voice sickened me. _Now_ he calls me 'master' - what a joke. "Think of your family, the smirch to your honor. There are ways to handle--"

I shook his filthy paw off of my arm, "For a man who comes from a great family, you talk like a merchant. My _honor_?" _That's right, _I thought, _we both know that my cooperation was purchased, traded for the security of my father's secrets as well as your crazy nephew's secrets_.

Now everyone was watching and listening to me. I wanted to look at Kel so badly. I wanted to see her face, but I forced myself to maintain eye contact with the Lord Magistrate. I couldn't renege on the arrangements my father had made, so I let cold fury fill my mind with words that had haunted me for a long time.

"Where is the honor in allowing females to live among men and pretend to the noble profession of arms, when everyone knows that it's best if they fulfill their _proper_ roles as wives and mothers?" I looked over at the training master's grim face. "What honor is there in forcing a good, brave knight like Wyldon of Cavall, a hero of the realm, to accept this ... this _girl_ into training and to allow her to continue?"

"I was not forced, Joren," now Lord Wyldon interrupted my speech. "She earned her right to stay, as much as - more than - you lads. Against odds that might have broken one of you."

I nodded. Here was another man of true honor, like Sir Paxton, someone I could and did respect. "I understand you are honor-bound to say so, my lord. The conclusions I draw are my own."

I couldn't stop myself; I looked from Lord Wyldon to Kel. I had to see her eyes. It was as I had dreamed and feared; her amazing, changeable eyes were now dark with anger that I had caused. I needed to finish my testimony so that I could get as far away from her as possible until she calmed down. Forcing myself, I turned back to face the Lord Magistrate.

"Duke Turomot, I decided to provide the funds for making Keladry of Mindelan go away so that she would become the _lady_ she should be. The plan was simple: either she failed in her duty to her servant, and everyone would hear about how the wonderful Keladry had shirked her first obligation as a noble - or she'd be so late she'd have to repeat the whole four years. No one would do that. No _reasonable_ person would do that."

I glanced at Kel again and saw that she had continued to look at me with her dark eyes, but her Yamani mask was firmly in place. Ebroin and Muirgen both were white-faced and silent with shock. Several other people looked uncomfortable or upset, too.

"But you, Lord Duke, and the other examiners made allowance for her," I continued, knowing that I was going to make everyone else mad at me now, "because certain interests in this kingdom mean for her to succeed as a lady _knight_ - not merely as a lady. You allowed her to take her exams alone. Of course she passed. So, yes, I paid those men. I give you leave to sentence me under the law." _There, sir, now do your worst, _I thought triumphantly.

Duke Turomot's face was beet-red and I braced myself for words that were certain to be sharp. I wanted them; I welcomed them. This needed to hurt. He did not disappoint me. His legal lecture was harsh and I could tell that he barely was holding back his own fury. And then he fined me.

Yes! One hundred blessed gold crowns, half of them to Kel! The magistrate had punished me to the fullest extent of the law and, if I heard correctly, he tacked on even more of a fine. I had done what I vowed to do and there was nothing that either my father's power-grubbing steward or his money-grubbing lawyer could do about it.

* * *

_"Stop whining and get them their filthy money, Ebroin," snapped Joren. "As far as I'm concerned, this country's going to the sewer-mucking merchants." He strode out through the door by which he had entered._

_For a moment Kel thought Duke Turomot, rapidly turning purple, would send the Watch to drag him back. King Jonathan cleared his throat. It caught the magistrate's attention; when he glanced at the thrones, the queen shook her head slightly._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

I was dumbfounded. Joren's behavior alone would have been enough to make me feel as though I had been pole-axed, but the fact that Joren was getting away with only a fine made me furious. Even if it was a large sum of money the magistrate awarded to me for the 'inconvenience' of Lalasa's absence, I did not think it was fair that the wealthy squire didn't have anything really bad happen to him.

Sir Paxton's grave voice reached through the haze of my anger and I gave him the courtesy of my undivided attention. He apologized for Joren's courtroom behavior, and professed not to have known anything about his squire's crime. The Lord Magistrate reassured the embarrassed knight and gave him the charge to train his squire in the ways of humility for the remainder of Joren's time in service to him.

The honorable Sir Paxton of Nond - my sister, Adalia's brother-in-law I realized - looked so weary and beaten that I truly felt sorry for him. Having Joren as a squire probably was not a picnic, although, now that I thought about it, they had seemed fine together at Adie and Mero's wedding. How could Sir Paxton not know about Joren's crime? How could there be so many words left unspoken between the knight and his squire? Now I was certain that something strange was going on.

Part of me wanted to run after Joren and make him explain to me what really happened. I knew he had not acted alone and that the person who made the map and wrote those instructions was escaping all justice. It truly was unbelievable that the whole case of Lalasa's kidnapping came down to _money_. I tried to make myself calm and accepting, but I just couldn't let the matter go. Chasing after Joren would have to wait.

Against the protests and warnings of Lalasa and Lord Raoul, I questioned the Lord Magistrate's decision and challenged the law on which it was based. Duke Turomot lectured me almost as hard as he had lectured Joren. Against the advice of Lord Wyldon, I asked the monarchs if I could speak with them before they exited the courtroom. I did follow Lord Raoul's advice and asked them for a private audience, and to my relief, they consented.

The magistrate's clerk offered us the use of his office and Lord Raoul asked if he could join us. Lalasa refused to budge when I encouraged her to come along, too. Finally, once everyone was settled, it was just me and my knight-master, the king and his queen.

* * *

_Kel nodded. Her heart thudded in her breast. She couldn't let this pass. It's all of a piece with this king, she thought. He doesn't understand what 'fair' means._

_... "What just happened? It was wrong, sire," she said firmly. "If Joren had kidnapped me instead of my maid, the legal penalties would have been much worse." _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

The small room was very quiet. I could hardly believe my ears. A first-year squire - _Raoul's_ first-year _girl_ squire, no less - had just denounced the law of the kingdom and challenged my fairness. And she was absolutely correct in her assessment.

I looked at the girl. Physically, she was nothing like my Alanna had been. Emotionally, this girl seemed as steady as a rock - also nothing like my Lioness. But Keladry of Mindelan saw the injustice of our legal system and she was not going to let go until something got resolved. In that, the girl squire reminded me so much of my stubborn champion, I had to fight hard to stifle my smile.

Finally, I sighed. "It's not right. Only a fool would say that it was. I am called many things, but 'fool' isn't one of them." I glanced over at Raoul, who also was trying hard not to smile. I fixed my eyes on young Keladry. "Alright, then, what do you want?"

"Change the law, sire." Kel said evenly. I could see Baron Piers' diplomatic influence in his daughter as she controlled her facial expressions and emotions. I also could see a world of turbulence in the many words left unspoken there in that room.

I launched into a not-so-brief lecture on the intricacies of law-making within a monarchy and how I had to appease the various opposing interest groups and such. To her great credit, the girl's eyes did not glaze over while I told her of the successes Thayet and I had had over time and how difficult it was to keep everything in balance. After I finished my little speech, her expression remained the same, and so did her request.

"My point is the same, Your Majesty," she repeated. "This particular law is just plain _bad_."

Mithros! The realm needed ten more squires just like Keladry. I started to ponder aloud whether or not I could get the priests behind a change in the law. Thayet said she thought the temple priestesses would support the change because the law stank of slavery. After kicking around a few more ideas of how to get more support from within the various political circles of my Court, I finally convinced Raoul to speak his mind, too.

My old friend was blunt and painful in his commentary, as always, but it was good to know that we agreed on this matter. Raoul even reminded me that the Lord Magistrate was so angry at the Stone Mountain whelp that the old sourpuss probably would support changing the law just to get back at him and his House. It made me happy to think that an old conservative like Duke Turomot could become a strong advocate for such a progressive law.

Once I explained to Keladry that we would do our best to change the law she found so objectionable, I had to do one more thing. In the courtroom, I had seen the gleam in her eyes of planning to get personal revenge via the lance or sword. I had seen that look a thousand times in my champion's eyes and I knew I had to prevent this certain tragedy in my son's generation. That would be Squire Keladry's price - I made her swear not to challenge Joren of Stone Mountain to any duels or grudge matches, as I swore to change the law of the realm.

Today, something very important had happened in that courtroom, just as I had foretold. _Not bad for a day's work_, I thought. In fact, I felt very good about the new changes and I vowed to watch Squire Keladry's progress a bit closer in the future. Still, I wish I had ten more just like her.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you liked the teeny bit of fluff I slipped in there. ^_^ Again, many, many thanks to: khadeejah, Faia Sakura, Lady Grace of Masbolle, LJane, jayley, Sarah7191, pyrena93, spazzysassyangel, confuzzled lil phoenix, KTParrott, secret-scribbled-notebooks, Mrs Nicholas Jonas teehee, Merkaba7734, beastie92, , Killer Zebra, BookWorm 37, The Red Night's Revenge, Kari of Mindelan,Darth Tater, Elaine-Herd, SabbyRinaBanina, chesire, elf warrior princess, Imperfectionist ;D, xxTunstall Chickxx and confusedknight ; I appreciate and look forward to your consistent and constructive reviews. It's good for me when you're honest (but never flaming) in your reviews of my work. Thanks again! :D**


	27. Consequences

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I've always wondered what might have happened if Lord Wyldon had taken more decisive action after Joren's trial, so here's my AU version of that particular 'what if ...?' scenario. Thanks again for reading my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_"... If I were training master, I wouldn't have let Joren get this far."_

_Kel stared at him, mouth open, until she realized he'd already begun to sew and she was falling behind. As she dug her needle into the cloth, she protested, "But if you pass the exams and do the work, and don't do anything really bad, the training master can't stop you from being a squire and then taking the Ordeal."_

_"Of course he can," Raoul told her, amused. "There are ways to discourage someone who is unfit. And often you're doing them a favor. The Chamber is ..." He fell silent, shadows in his eyes, though he continued to stitch. "Hard," he said at last._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Consequences**

The evening after Joren's trial ended, Lord Wyldon had a series of meetings. First, he met with King Jonathan, who informed him of his chat with Squire Keladry and the oath that she swore to forego her privilege to challenge Joren.

"Your Majesty, do you mean to tell me that Squire Keladry agreed to this?" Lord Wyldon asked, amazed at this news. "She won't be able to challenge Squire Joren at all? Not even on the Progress this summer?"

"No, she may not, not at all. However, she drives a hard bargain," King Jonathan replied, his sapphire eyes twinkling. "That law won't be easy to change, but changing it is the right thing to do. What I want from you is something similar - without such a bargain. Wyldon, you must do everything in your power to keep the rest of the squires from issuing challenges left and right in some misplaced notion of defending of Keladry's honor."

Wyldon felt the side of mouth twitch as he kept himself from smiling. Sometimes the king surprised him, such as when he backed his decision to keep Alanna the Lioness away from Keladry during her training years. However, the training master never was surprised at how well the king understood his son's generation.

"I assure you, Sire," Wyldon said dryly, "I do not wish for a repeat of the stable brawl from a few years back, nor do I wish to see future knights of the realm kill or maim each other during the tournaments on Progress this summer. I will confer with their knight-masters and obtain their compliance as well."

Jon clapped Wyldon on his shoulder, "I'm glad we agree on this matter, Wyldon. Now, about Squire Joren - what do you think really happened here? I do _not_ believe we got the whole story in that courtroom today, do you?"

Wyldon shook his head and sighed. "Your Majesty, I have misjudged certain circumstances and I will look into several incidents that have come to my attention recently. I know can't change the past, but I intend to make sure nothing like this ever occurs again in the future."

"How often did Keladry and Joren fight as pages and when did they stop fighting?" Jon asked casually and chuckled when Wyldon's eyebrows rose. "Oh, don't be so surprised that I know about that - and no, Roald didn't tell me. Things around here haven't changed _that_ much. Remember, my champion had ... similar issues as a new page. The beatings didn't stop until 'Alan' defeated Ralon of Malven, which caused the lout to leave the palace. Of course, he came back to haunt us later and I want to prevent that sort of history from repeating itself. So tell me, has Keladry ever _defeated_ Joren?"

Wyldon shook his head. "No ... I don't believe so. In the beginning, Joren actually volunteered to be Keladry's sponsor. Later on, though, there were several ... incidents of 'falling down' - too many to count," he admitted, "I finally forced the two of them study together. Then I made frequent, unannounced visits to the pages' wing during study time to verify that they were doing their homework instead of brawling in the hallways. They did not become the best of friends, but I truly thought they had worked through their differences. At one point, after Joren had been away with his knight-master for a while, I even thought Joren _liked_ Keladry. I just can't imagine what happened between them for him to commit such a horrible crime to try to prevent her from becoming a squire."

"Do you think ... could they have been ... _involved_ with each other?" Jon asked carefully, remembering his own relationship with his then-disguised squire. "I know Keladry's a bit young for that sort of thing, but do you think it's possible that they quarreled over something such as that?"

Wyldon shook his head. "I've watched them all from her first day here, so I highly doubt that Keladry would give Joren a second glance as a suitor. It's quite obvious that there _are_ other squires and pages who adore the girl, but she's shown no romantic interest in any of them either. You know, Keladry is fifteen now; if she had followed a more normal course, her father would be presenting her to the Court this Midwinter. Sometimes I wonder if ... well, I just wish she'd been born a boy."

"You've told me that before, Wyldon, but the fact remains that Keladry of Mindelan is one of the most interesting girls we've ever encountered." Jon nodded. "Let me know when you discover what caused such a terrible lapse in judgment on the part of the young Stone Mountain. I'd heard that he has the potential to be a solid warrior for the realm. If you believe that's still true, then let's find a way to turn that squire back onto the right path, alright Wyldon?" The king opened the door to indicate that their meeting was over. "My squire, Zahir, told me that he used to be close to Squire Joren. Perhaps I'll have him keep in better contact with his old friend."

"Yes, Your Majesty," Wyldon bowed and exited the royal chambers. "He probably would be a good influence on the young man."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

After a brief chat with Master Oakbridge, Lord Wyldon met with Sir Paxton. Both men felt the same embarrassment and disappointment over the way Joren had behaved in the courtroom that day. They each felt responsible for not having seen the seriousness of the arrogant squire's flaws.

"Lord Wyldon, I swear, if I could return the lad to palace duty right now, I would," Paxton angrily admitted. "Unfortunately for me, I feel honor-bound to do whatever I can to correct Joren's obvious lack of chivalry until the Chamber passes its cold judgment on him. Also, his father would have my skin."

"Don't fret, Paxton," Wyldon said, "I've failed here, too. The situation is worse than we could have imagined, but now that we _are_ aware of it, the king would like for us to help your squire see the error of his ways. We both know that Joren _could_ become a good knight, so let's see what we can do to try to make that happen. I have some ideas I'd like to share with you."

The two men talked for the next hour or so, until it was time for them to go to supper. Now that the trial was finished, there was no guard outside Joren's door, but Sir Paxton stopped by and told his squire to eat supper in his room again. This was no time to test Wyldon's directive against challenges among the squires. Then Paxton ordered Joren to pack his things and prepare for their return to the desert. They would leave Corus in the morning.

Paxton also informed Joren that there would be an early morning meeting with Lord Wyldon before they departed. He expected that Lord Raoul and Squire Keladry would be in attendance as well. The blond squire looked thoroughly confused when his knight-master left his room. He didn't see the sly smile on Sir Paxton's face when he closed the door after him.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Finally, Lord Wyldon had his last meeting of the day with Lord Raoul after supper. There had been quite a fight between the baby griffin and the other animals Squire Keladry cared for in her rooms. Once everything was settled again, Raoul, knowing that he had an appointment with the training master, gave Kel permission to have supper with her parents that evening. He hoped his squire would be out for a long time so that she'd miss his meeting with Wyldon.

"Thank you for seeing me tonight, Raoul," Wyldon said as he settled into one of the comfortable chairs next to the commander's fireplace. "I have spoken with both the king and with Sir Paxton and I wanted to invite you and your squire to a little meeting first thing tomorrow morning."

Raoul chuckled. "An early morning meeting, huh? Does this have anything to do with the message you sent out to every current knight-master about the terms and conditions for any squire challenging another squire prior to the King's Progress this summer?"

"You are most perceptive, Lord Raoul," Wyldon smiled in return. "Actually, I have asked Sir Paxton to take his squire back to the desert until the Progress begins. They will be leaving Corus shortly after our chat tomorrow. I do not wish for there to be any 'incidents' during the Midwinter festivities."

"Ah, I see," Raoul nodded. "Very wise, Wyldon. I suppose you know that my squire has quite a loyal group of friends. Although I do not doubt Kel's ability to follow orders, there's no telling what any of her friends might do in retaliation for Squire Joren's misbehavior."

"That's all the more reason for me putting some distance between the offended parties," Wyldon explained. "Let the winter snows cool them off."

Wyldon then outlined his and Paxton's plans for the re-training Joren of Stone Mountain and Raoul admitted that he was impressed. He agreed to cooperate in the ways that he could. Raoul only hoped that their efforts wouldn't be too little too late. Wyldon had been gone for only a few minutes before Kel returned from dining with her parents. The big knight-master hid a grin when his squire grimaced at the news of their meeting in the morning.

"Surely you can control your urge to pound Squire Joren into the ground for a _few_ moments," Raoul joked. "Perhaps you'll hurt him more if you tell him about all the weapons and armor you plan to buy with the money from the fine he's required to give you."

Kel frowned and shook her head, "Sir, you are a _bad_ man."

* * *

_Was he right about Joren? Raoul saw so much in people, more than anyone she'd ever known, even Neal or her parents. But Lord Wyldon would have seen any great flaws in Joren, surely, and corrected them._

_Like Joren's hiring criminals to kidnap someone? asked part of her that had spent too much time conversing with nasty, suspicious Neal. He questioned anything and everything. Worse, he now had some of Kel doing it too, and the rest of her never seemed to have any answers._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Prior to breakfast on the morning after the trial, Lord Wyldon summoned Squires Joren and Kel, as well as their knight-masters, to his office. First, he spoke with Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton privately while the squires stood in the outer chamber and waited. Kel had decided to ignore Joren and she had on her calmest Yamani face. They were on opposite sides of the small room and Joren made no effort to hide his smile when Lord Wyldon's assistant walked out of the room and down the hallway. The two squires were alone for the moment.

Joren stepped closer to Kel and whispered to her, "Kel, I'm ... I'm sorry about yesterday. I need to ... we need to talk." His clear blue eyes searched her dreamer's hazel eyes and he liked what he saw. He attributed the greenness of her eyes to her justifiable anger, but he'd accept any emotion from her if she'd just talk to him.

Kel took a step back from Joren and swore inside her mind - it just wasn't fair for someone who had committed such awful acts to be so handsome. She hated her stomach for the flip-flopping feelings she was having as he gazed into her eyes. Kel held her calm Yamani mask in place and hoped that Joren couldn't hear the way her heartbeat was speeding up.

"I think you've said quite enough, Joren." Kel whispered back. "If you have _anything_ more to say, then I would have you explain the note you sent me." She wished her voice sounded cooler and more detached than she felt.

"We can't talk _here_," Joren maintained eye contact with her. "Can you come to the stables after breakfast? Sir Paxton and I are leaving to go back to the desert today, but we're going to Nond House first. I could deliver a message to your sister, if you'd like." He had taken another step closer to Kel and he could see that she now realized that her backward step had put her against the wall.

Kel's eyes momentarily widened in surprise and then she made her face blank again. "Why are you leaving _today_? I thought all squires had to be here for the Midwinter services. Master Oakbridge--"

Joren saw Kel's eyes get greener and smiled wider. His next step eliminated the space between them and then he pressed her into the wall and covered her lips with his. It was a very brief kiss because Kel recovered her senses quickly this time and she forcefully shoved Joren away from her. Then she slapped his face - hard.

"Master Oakbridge excused me from serving this year," Joren smirked triumphantly and rubbed his cheek. "He said my presence would be ... distracting. Don't you think he's right?"

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Kel whispered angrily. She no longer tried to keep her face calm. Now she was glaring at the sneaky squire. "I should report--"

Joren eyes sparkled mischievously as he interrupted Kel with words this time, "Report what? That you just slapped me? I believe that might just be considered an official challenge." Then he crossed his arms on his chest and continued to look smug.

"You ... you _tricked_ me!" Kel exclaimed softly. She was horrified at the thought that she had broken her oath with the king. What if the law she wanted him to change might stay on the books because Joren tricked her into challenging him? "You think you can do as you please and get away with it, but I think--"

"_I _think it's time we traded secrets again, Kel," Joren said seriously. "Come to the stables and let me explain things to you. I promise I won't tell anyone you slapped me if you'll just listen to what I have to say."

Before Kel could answer Joren, Lord Wyldon's assistant returned to his desk and glared at the two squires. They had returned to their original places, but the man could sense the charged atmosphere in the small room.

Joren looked at Kel and raised an eyebrow. Kel knew he was waiting for her answer and she tried to think if she had any excuses she could use to get out of meeting with Joren. Hadn't he just proven to her _again_ that she couldn't trust him? Kel wanted to refuse him, but her traitorous mouth said, "Fine."

"I've been looking forward to trading secrets with you, again," Joren whispered. "It's been such a long time. You know I never told anyone about your other secret. Remember, the one that only Cleon and I know - the one about you being all dressed up like a proper lady?" The memory of Kel looking so pretty made him smile again.

When Joren mentioned Cleon's name, it was as though he had thrown a bucket of ice water over Kel's head. How could she have forgotten about Cleon's kisses so quickly? Once again, Kel wondered what was wrong with _her_ and she vowed to speak with her mother when she had an opportunity. The previous evening, after having a very nice supper with her parents, Kel had hoped to talk privately with her mother about her confusion over Cleon. Unfortunately, her father never left them alone and she was not comfortable sharing such information in front of him.

Joren watched with great interest the change that came over Kel's face when he mentioned her other secret and Cleon's name. He wondered which was responsible for cooling the passion in her eyes so quickly; now they were a more balanced brownish-green hazel. Her Yamani blank face was in place again, which was just as well because Lord Wyldon's voice beckoned for them to come into his office at that moment.

Lord Wyldon narrowed his eyes as he watched Joren and Kel approach his desk and salute him. His lips tightened into a grim line as he looked from Kel's face to Joren's face and back to Kel again. Both squires were blushing and one side of Joren's face was redder than the other. Neither squire looked at the other, but they both seemed somewhat distressed.

Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton sat in chairs to either side of Lord Wyldon's desk and they also looked intently at their squires. The office was very quiet. All three men could tell that something had happened in the outer chamber, but they could only guess at what it might have been. Lord Wyldon broke the heavy silence by clearing his throat.

"Did you two engage in any _philosophical discussions_ while you were waiting?" Lord Wyldon asked them. "You know ... the kind of discussions which lead to ... disagreements?"

"No sir," Joren and Kel answered in unison and then glanced at each other, startled. Then they quickly looked forward again. Raoul had to stifle a laugh; he was going to enjoy speaking with his squire after this meeting.

Wyldon inwardly cursed at himself for forgetting that these particular squires should not have been left alone so soon after the events of the previous day. He instinctively knew that they had had some sort of argument, but he also realized the squires wouldn't say anything now. There would be trouble if Keladry had broken her oath and challenged Joren, but they both denied it so he had to take them at their word.

"Well, don't just stand there," Wyldon said tersely, "Sit down next to your knight-masters and pay attention. We are ready to tell you what we will expect from you from now until Joren ends his time as a squire."

Kel did not look at Joren as he allowed her to go to her chair before he went to his. She didn't want to look at Lord Raoul, either, but she knew her perceptive knight-master would lecture her afterward so she met his curious gaze with her best Yamani face. Kel couldn't shake the feeling that Raoul already had guessed at least part of what had happened between her and the arrogant squire who kept stealing kisses from her.

Even though the cheek that Kel had slapped felt like it was on fire, Joren welcomed the pain; he knew he deserved it. He tried very hard to keep his lips from lifting into the smile that lay just under the surface. Every time Joren stole a kiss from Kel, it made his pulse quicken in a delightful way and he knew that, despite her protests, she really liked it, too. He had seen it in her eyes right before she slapped him.

"Originally, we planned to explain this to you privately, but after speaking with both Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton, we decided to include Squire Keladry because much depends on her cooperation." The training master's expression was unreadable as he stared at Joren. "As of now, Squire Joren of Stone Mountain, you are on a _probationary_ status. You will return to your knight-master's desert post and he will re-train you to improve your grasp of the meaning of chivalry, as well as your reading and writing skills. If your progress is unsatisfactory, you will not be allowed to enter the Chamber of the Ordeal next Midwinter."

All the color drained from Joren's face. He no longer felt like smiling. Kel struggled not to gasp at Lord Wyldon's announcement.

"Joren, we all know that I've not required you to prepare our weekly reports because your work is abysmal," Sir Paxton began, "In order to correct this deficiency, we now will require you to compose at least two letters each week. The first will be a summary of our weekly activities to send to Lord Wyldon. This will strengthen your military writing skills. The second letter will be more of an academic assignment. Lord Wyldon mentioned your improvement when you and Squire Keladry were study partners. Therefore, considering the events of the past few days, we have decided that you will write a weekly letter to her about the topic of chivalry. We will ask Squire Keladry to comment on your writing skills in her return letters to you. Lord Raoul has agreed to ensure delivery of these letters no matter where their missions send them. We will reassess the situation when we all join the King's Progress this summer."

Joren's face turned whiter. If he had been standing up, he would have needed to sit down. Now Kel really felt sorry for him - and for herself, too. Suddenly she realized that this arrangement added another responsibility to her long list of chores, not the least of which was the continuous care of the demanding baby griffin.

Raoul cleared his throat and continued, "Squire Joren, I understand you are very good at dismounted and unarmed combat. Lord Wyldon assures me that your mount is a fine warhorse - indeed, one of the finest from his stables. He also says that your mounted combat skills should be better than they are at this time and Sir Paxton agrees with him. So, when I take Third Company south after Midwinter, we will make a point of visiting your camp, where you and I will enjoy some additional training. You may not joust against Squire Keladry, but if you ask her nicely, she might be able to help you understand the finer points of flying through the air." He smiled pleasantly at the now-sickly-looking squire.

"Well, I think that covers everything," Lord Wyldon stood up and then the knight-masters and squires also stood. "Are there any questions?"

"Sir, I ..." Joren's voice was shaky now, "I've never heard of a squire being on _probation_ before. Is that ... allowed?"

Wyldon's smile was cold and it matched his voice, "I am the training master here and I assure you that I am allowed to do as I please when it concerns your training for knighthood. These ... assignments ... are the consequences of your recent actions. Consider yourself special, _Probationary _Squire Joren. There's always a first for everything - ask Squire Keladry. Never fear, no one outside of this room will know of your new status unless you choose to divulge the information. I will, however, inform your father. I highly recommend that you add him to the list of recipients of your weekly correspondence. Any more questions?"

"N-no ...no, sir." Joren swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat.

"Excellent. Thank you all for coming here so early this morning." Lord Wyldon nodded to them. "Gods all bless your journey south, Sir Paxton. Squire Joren, I will look forward to your weekly summaries. It's always good to meet with you, Lord Raoul. And Squire Keladry, I expect to see you in the mess hall shortly."

They all knew a dismissal when they heard one, so the four of them exited Lord Wyldon's office. Once they were in the hallway, Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton clasped arms, bid each other farewell, and walked away in different directions. Kel followed her knight-master, but she glanced back at Joren and saw that his face still was quite pale. All of his earlier arrogance had disappeared. Kel knew then that she would do her best to get to the stables before Joren rode out.

* * *

**A/N: I just love messing with Joren and as the old saying goes: If you're gonna do the crime, then you gotta do the time. ;D BTW, now I've arrived at the problem of Kel's missing year (this has been a topic of discussion on several TP-related sites), and the way I've handled it is to make Kel fifteen at this point in the story, just the way Tammy did. Let me know if you don't understand what I'm talking about. Anyway, please R & R. Thanks! :D**


	28. Trading Secrets

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Thank you for all the lovely reviews! ^_^ Several readers asked about Kel's 'lost year' so I've included a brief explanation of it here: When TP wrote ****Squire****, Kel was fourteen at the beginning of her first year with Lord Raoul; but by the end of her first year (and the beginning of the tournaments of the King's Progress) TP wrote that Kel was turning sixteen. On the Sheroes website, TP admitted that she 'skipped' a year, but it actually turned out for the best so that Kel was eighteen at the right time to go into the Chamber of the Ordeal of Knighthood. Okay, that's enough 'history' and now here's some more of my AU. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_They all knew a dismissal when they heard one, so the four of them exited Lord Wyldon's office. Once they were in the hallway, Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton clasped arms, bid each other farewell, and walked away in different directions. Kel followed her knight-master, but she glanced back at Joren and saw that his face still was quite pale. All of his earlier arrogance had disappeared. Kel knew then that she would do her best to get to the stables before Joren rode out._

* * *

**Trading Secrets**

"Alright, Squire Keladry," Raoul said as he and Kel walked toward the pages' and squires' mess hall, "Out with it. I want to know what Joren said to you while you were waiting that made you slap him like that. And don't give me any nonsense about 'philosophical disagreements' and such."

"My lord, I ... I" Kel's speech faltered. She did not want to admit to her knight-master that she had failed to keep her oath. She definitely was not going to tell him that Joren kissed her. When the shamefaced Kel looked up at Raoul, she saw that he was grinning and then she relaxed. "How ... how did you know, sir?"

Now Raoul laughed aloud. "My dear squire, I have seen too many slapped faces during my time as commander of the Own not to recognize another one when I see it. There's practically an 'epidemic' of them whenever the men go into a town for a night of fun and dancing. Ask your friend Dom - I'm sure he can recall one or two 'outbreaks' of reddened cheeks, also."

Kel felt foolish. She knew Raoul had guessed that she'd reacted badly to something Joren said or did. She was not going to tell him everything - it was far too embarrassing - but she figured she'd better tell her knight-master something about the slap to make sure her actions hadn't messed up her bargain with the king.

"I didn't mean to break my oath, sir," Kel said. "He ... Joren does things and ... and he just made me so ... mad! So I slapped him. He said he wouldn't tell, but--"

"But nothing, Kel," Raoul chuckled, "Joren is an arrogant schemer, just like his father, so it doesn't surprise _me_ that the day after his trial he's back to harassing you."

"He's just so ... so," Kel searched her mind for the right words. "You said it, my lord, he's arrogant. Joren is an arrogant, puffed-up peacock, that's what he is!"

Now Raoul was more curious than amused and he studied his squire's face intently. A stray thought crossed his mind, but he quickly dismissed it. He could not imagine his steady, determined and focused squire being even remotely interested in the young man who had just been found guilty of kidnapping her maid and causing her such grief.

"Joren certainly didn't look so puffed up and full of himself _after_ our meeting." Raoul spoke slowly and continued to watch Kel. "Somehow, I don't think Sir Paxton's squire will be thinking about much more than his new probationary status with the training master. I'm sure that whatever Joren said to you this morning is unimportant now. Remember, both of you denied - to Lord Wyldon, no less - anything occurred, so it's no longer an issue. We'll just have to fulfill our end of the bargain."

"Are we really going to go south after Midwinter, sir?" Kel asked. "Do I really have to exchange letters with Joren?" She was not looking forward to that part at all. She had enough work to do without having to tutor Joren from a distance.

"Yes and yes." Raoul answered. "I apologize for making you a part of this dubious plan without asking you first, but Lord Wyldon was insistent. He said he'd never seen such an improvement in so short a time. So, you and Joren are writing partners now and you can explain it to me later."

"Joren's writing really is awful, my lord." Kel admitted, thinking about his most recent note. "I hope he doesn't send me letters that make me mad, too."

Raoul laughed. "When we go south, Kel, you _must_ be able to control your temper around him no matter what he says to you. Leave the hitting to me; just think of how much you enjoy your 'flying' lessons."

"That's pretty sneaky, sir." Kel laughed now. "I suppose Joren's additional training with you will be punishment enough."

"Keep in mind, Kel: there will be plenty of witnesses to everything that happens in the desert and word always gets back to the king long before we return to the palace." Raoul scratched his head. "Maybe you should use some of your Yamani meditation chants or something to stay calm - do whatever it takes not to hit Joren again."

"Yes, sir. I'll work on that." Kel nodded. "I'll be attending morning glaive practice with the Yamani ladies and they can help me with masking my emotions more effectively. I know I've become too expressive since I left the Islands."

Raoul looked at her with his eyebrows raised comically, "How can you stand there and tell me that you're _too_ expressive? No one can beat you at card games because you don't give anything away once you look at your hand. If you become more blank-faced, I'll have to check your pulse to make sure you're still alive!"

Kel giggled and shook her head, "I'll try to be more expressive around you, my lord, and less expressive around ... other people."

"Good enough!" Raoul smiled at her and clapped he on her shoulder, "We'll have an easy day today - no tilting or such - just clean the equipment. We need a restful day after all the recent events. I have a party to attend this evening and that means you do, too."

Kel tried not to groan - Raoul was infamous for not wanting to attend social events. The men of the Own had warned her with many stories of their commander's attempts at skipping parties and balls. He despised getting dressed up in fancy clothes and he often behaved like a sullen child when it was time to go to the festive events.

They both saw Lord Wyldon walking toward the mess hall doors and Kel knew she should go in before the training master did. Raoul started to wave her away, but then he remembered something and stopped her.

"I forgot to tell you that some of your friends dropped by last night while you were at supper with your parents." Raoul looked apologetic for not telling her sooner. "I think they're really concerned about you, Kel. Go and have a nice breakfast with them. Tell them what you can, but you'll have to leave out most of what you know. Understand?"

"Yes sir," Kel definitely understood. With friends like hers, who needed older, protective brothers? "I'll just let them see for themselves that I'm alright. What time will you need me to help you get ready for the party?"

"_Late_ afternoon at the earliest," Raoul told her. "There's no sense in being on time to the accursed event. I'm only going because the queen told me I'd better be there, or else. See you later, Kel" And then he motioned for her to go on. He nodded toward Lord Wyldon and then continued on his way to the Own's mess hall.

* * *

"So. Are you sure you're alright, Kel?" Neal asked worriedly. "I noticed you hardly ate any of your rolls. You love the breakfast rolls."

"I'm fine, Neal, really." Kel glanced around the table at her friends. They all had concerned expressions on their faces. "Listen, everyone, I appreciate your support. Yesterday's trial was ... difficult. Joren's terrible plan failed and I'm a squire. He got caught and now he will pay the magistrate's fine and that's that. It's over."

"You can't mean to just let it go at that!" exclaimed Seaver. "Joren needs to pay on the challenge fields. He _pretended_ to be a friend and all the while he was plotting and planning against you, Kel." Several heads nodded their agreement.

"No, please, I ... I can't challenge Joren." Kel hoped they would understand. "The king and I have a ... an agreement. There's a law - a bad law - that I want changed so that people like Lalasa will have real justice someday. The king is willing to fight for that change, if I do not fight Joren. And I don't want any of you challenging him, either! Didn't your knight-masters receive a message from Lord Wyldon yesterday?"

"Ah, so _that's_ what the directive is about," said Neal, nodding his head. "I'll bet the Stump doesn't want a repeat of what happened when we were pages. Remember the stable fight?" More heads nodded.

"Remember it? _You_ started it, Neal," Cleon finally spoke up. "I believe you called Joren 'pretty' or something. Gods, Kel don't you just want to pound him into the ground?"

"Who? Joren or Neal?" Kel asked mischievously. "I think there's been more than enough silly fighting that has to do with me. Fight your own fights - and let me fight mine."

"Hey!" Neal protested. "We've only ever tried to make sure that Joren and his cronies didn't get the best of you."

Kel looked at her friends intently. "I don't want there to be any more trouble. Do you think they'll allow any more girls to train here if everyone thinks our presence causes such trouble?" Then she sighed and looked down at her plate. "We've received all the justice we're going to get for now. Please ... all of you ... just ... let it go."

"Kel's right," Cleon told the group. "We need to show Stone Mountain and his ilk the true meaning of honor. If we challenge Joren, then we validate his views. Let's do as Kel has requested and leave him alone." Kel looked up at the big redhead and then she winced internally. Cleon's smile was bright and adoring as he looked back at her.

* * *

Thankfully, the other squires had duties and responsibilities to attend to after breakfast. Kel wasn't sure what she would have done if any of her friends had wanted to linger and talk with her some more. She put several small apples in her pockets and headed for the stables.

When Kel entered the stable where Joren was preparing his and Sir Paxton's horses and pack mules for their trip, she looked around to see if there was anyone else nearby. Two stable boys were working with a hostler at the opposite end to the building. There were horses in most of the stalls, but the biting cold of the morning meant that many riders would wait to take their mounts out later in the afternoon when it was warmer. Basically, Kel and Joren were alone.

"Hello." Kel greeted Joren. "I brought some apples for your animals." She held out the fruit to him. One of the horses looked at her hands with considerable interest.

Joren had been checking the saddle bags one last time and he turned around to face Kel, but he did not take the offered gifts. Once again, she noticed the purplish shading under his eyes and his face still was rather sickly looking. Against her normal judgment, she felt deep compassion for the squire.

Kel correctly assumed that Joren's mind was overwhelmed by the outcome of the early morning meeting with Lord Wyldon. He opened his mouth to say something, but then he closed it again and shook his head. Other than recitation times in their former classes together, Kel had never known Joren to be at a loss for words.

"So, writings on chivalry," she decided to sound light-hearted about the matter. "Shall I run to the library and get a reference book for you?" She kept her face Yamani calm.

Joren glared at her, clearly not amused. "I'll get something from Merovec's library at Nond House. It's one of the best private collections in the realm. I'm sure that Mero will have a suggestion - or five." The thought of having to read and write about chivalry was utterly depressing to the troubled squire.

"Blast! I meant to write a note for you to deliver to my sister." Kel told him. "The baby is due any day now. Could you ... please give Adalia my good wishes when you see her? And also to Mero, of course."

"Yes, of course," Joren said flatly and returned to checking the packs. "I look forward to being your personal messenger." Then he winced because he knew he sounded churlish, even though he was relieved that Kel had come to listen to him before he left. Joren just wasn't sure where to start now. Luckily for him, Kel already was curious and she didn't hesitate to bring up the subject of the trial.

"Joren, I ... we can't change what ... what happened yesterday," Kel spoke carefully. "But I know that _you_ ... didn't make that map. And, well ... you couldn't have written those instructions either because ... because that wasn't your handwriting."

Joren's head snapped up and he looked directly at Kel's face. She knew! He wasn't sure how much she knew, but she'd just told him enough that he felt he had a chance to convince her that he didn't mean for her or anyone else to get hurt. Perhaps Kel would believe him after all.

"Shh. Come over here." Joren whispered and he took the apples from her hands. "How did you ... when did you figure that out?" His eyes searched hers and found sincere concern there.

"I still have the note telling me to ... to look for Lalasa on Balor's Needle." Kel whispered back, "The same hand that wrote that note also drew the map and instructions for the kidnappers, but it wasn't _your _hand. I compared the note with ... with the poem you gave me, and then again with the new note your man Spencer gave me the other night. The handwriting is _completely_ different from yours; yours is much worse." She shook her head in mock disgust.

Joren was amazed. Most of the time Kel's intelligence really infuriated him, but now he wanted to hug her for figuring out as much as she had on her own. Remembering the earlier slap to his face, he decided to control himself. He knew he had to rebuild her trust if she was going to believe the rest of his story.

She had kept his poem! Something about knowing that Kel hadn't tossed his words into the fire changed Joren on the inside and he desperately desired her words to match the passion he sometimes saw in her eyes. Stealing kisses was fun, but Joren decided that the next time he kissed Kel, he would not act the part of 'thief.' Joren wanted Kel to want him to kiss her.

"You ... you still have my poem? That's ... _nice_. I'm glad it helped you figure out ... things." Joren said, trying to keep his voice low. "And you're right; I _didn't_ make those documents that were presented as evidence during the trial. If Muirgen had shown the magistrate a copy of my own writing, the case might have been dismissed. Ebroin didn't want to pay the fine at all and I just couldn't let that happen, so that's why I said those things. I ... I had to deflect the magistrate's attention from what my father's people were trying to do. I _had_ to confess."

"But Joren," Kel softly protested. "If you didn't do this, then someone else has escaped justice. That's not right!"

"I'm sorry, Kel ... I really did pay those men." Joren admitted to her. "I swear I didn't make the plan, and I _never_ would have sent you to Balor's Needle - I know how much you hate heights. But ... the money passed from my hands to their hands. I am guilty of that much." It hurt him to watch Kel's face become a stony mask.

"Why, Joren? Why did you do such a thing?" Kel struggled to keep her voice calm. She couldn't allow herself to explode at him. "You said you wanted to be friends. I thought we ... we were becoming good friends. How _could_ you pay those kidnappers?"

Joren turned away from Kel and stowed the apples in one of the pouches. He didn't want to see her face or her eyes when he continued, so he rechecked all the equipment on the pack mules. And then he checked the saddle on Sir Paxton's horse again.

"I didn't plan on anyone getting hurt. That was ... someone else's plan. I only wanted you to be late for the exams." Joren worked his way around to the other side of the horse's stall. "I thought that if you couldn't become a squire, then ... then you'd become the lady I'd hoped you could be."

Now Kel really had to control her anger. She had suspected Joren of having such a stupid reason for committing his crime, but hearing him confirm those suspicions was just maddening. And the thought that he was covering up someone else's crime was more infuriating. Kel thought of calm lakes and hard, smooth stones in a vain attempt to control her temper.

"Joren ... that is the most ... _ridiculous_ thing I've ever heard!" She finally spat out. "Some unnamed plotter is free from penalty and you risked my maid's life and my dog's life and even _my_ life, just so that I would go away and become a lady? I've told you a thousand times - I'm going to earn my shield! Why can't you accept me the way I am?"

Joren sighed. "You just don't understand. You're not like the rest of the girls I know." His voice took on its usual high-born drawl which annoyed Kel further. "Unfortunately, my father_ never _would consider you to be an acceptable match - certainly not as a squire. And I care for you, Kel. I don't understand why, but I really do."

Kel suddenly remembered her cousin Tressa's remarks about Joren's potential betrothal to a lovely girl, a true young lady of the Court. "Joren, you said that we would be trading secrets, but it's no secret that your father is negotiating a betrothal for you." She spoke casually, making her face blank again and her voice calmer than before. "As you once gave marriage advice to me, I now can return the favor. You'd be a decent man after you lost some of your arrogance and realized that you don't _have_ to rebel against your father. You'd make a fine husband for one of those Book of Gold ladies - Rhiannon haMinch, for instance. You certainly can afford to keep a wife. Then you can live happily in your castle at Stone Mountain and settle down to raise beautiful, blond heirs."

Joren closed his eyes against the memory of the time when he had made similar remarks to Kel about her marriage prospects. It was painful to have her throw those words back in his face. He shook off his feelings of doom and walked around the stall to grab Kel's shoulders.

"I don't care for Rhiannon the way I care for you." Joren sounded like a petulant child. "She's silly and boring - just like all the high-born ladies of the Court. Perhaps I won't get married at all. I really just want to be a knight errant and go where I want to go without my father's leash pulling me back to that accursed mountain."

"Now _that_ sounds like another one of your true secrets." Kel shrugged out his grasp and tried not to smirk. She thought it was sort of cute the way Joren pouted in the same manner as her young nephews and nieces. "Hmm. The highly-sought-after heir to Stone Mountain wishes to remain a bachelor knight and travel across the realm? Hearts all over the Court would break if they knew, especially Rhiannon's. However, I promise not to tell your secret since you promised not to tell mine. Will you consider this a proper trade-off?"

Joren blinked. Then he looked at Kel and saw the side of her mouth twitch before she controlled her face again. He knew that Sir Paxton could walk in at any moment, so he decided to reach for one of Kel's hands and bring it to his lips. He stopped when he saw all the scratches and scars. Kel tried to pull back her hand, but Joren wouldn't let go. Then he grabbed her other hand and examined both of them closer.

"Mithros, Kel!" Joren searched her eyes now. "What's happened to you?" He held on tightly to her wrists even as she pulled against him.

"The baby griffin has a ferocious beak and very sharp claws." Kel stated flatly. "I didn't mean to repulse you. Will you let go of me now?" Joren still held her wrists and watched her blank face grow red with embarrassment.

Then he defiantly kissed the inside of one wrist and then the other. "Our other secrets have been sealed with a kiss. This is no time to break tradition. Just ... be careful with that beast, alright?" He held her gaze as he let go of her hands.

"Alright, that's another promise I can keep." Kel nodded and hid her hands in her breeches pockets. She was trying very hard to keep her breathing even and her face Yamani calm.

Joren hadn't moved and Kel noticed that he was looking at her in a peculiar way. She smiled slightly and looked down, suddenly aware of how close they were standing. Then, because Joren hadn't laughed or scoffed at her scars, and because she was tired of struggling against herself, Kel looked up and gently kissed Joren on his lips. Startled at herself, she sprang away from him and turned to hurry away, but she stopped when she saw Sir Paxton walking through the stable door.

"Squire Keladry, I'm glad you're here," the knight said cheerfully, "I just received a message from Nond House a few moments ago, as did your parents. It seems that I am a new uncle and you're an aunt - again."

"Do you mean - Adie and Mero?" Kel truly as excited now. "The baby--"

"Yes, it's a boy!" exclaimed Paxton. "Now I'm glad we're already packed and ready to go. We _are_ ready to go aren't we, Squire Joren?" He glanced at the stall where Joren was still standing. He did not seem to notice the shocked expression on his squire's face.

"Yes sir, everything is ready and ... um ... Squire Keladry even brought us some apples for the horses," Joren mind was reeling from Kel's surprising kiss and he was relieved to have some sort of explanation for her presence in the stable. "Um ... congratulations ... to both of you. This is great Midwinter news for your families to start off the season." It was amusing to him to think of Kel and his knight-master being related now by the birth of Adie and Mero's son.

"Indeed it is," agreed Paxton. "If we set a good pace, we can be at Nond House before nightfall. I'll give your regards to your sister, Squire Keladry. Come along, Joren. Let's get going." And they walked their horses and pack mules out of the stable.

A light snow had begun to fall, but the skies to the east appeared clearer. Sir Paxton and Joren would have a cold journey to the now-joyful Nond House. Kel watched them as they mounted their horses and rode toward the palace gate. Joren glanced back at her once and nodded. It would be a while before she saw him again and she hoped to sort out her muddled feelings by then. Kel smiled inwardly as she thought that, perhaps, trading secrets with Joren wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, yes, I know they're a little OOC - this is AU remember? I'm just feeling good because I had a very nice day. ^_^ I hope you enjoyed the teeny bit of fluff. ;-) Please R & R. Thanks! :D**


	29. Presentation Day

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Here's more AU. ;-) This chapter asks and answers the question, "What if Kel had witnessed the other girls her age who were being presented to the Royal Court?" I know, I know - I think crazy thoughts, but hopefully they generate decent plot lines. Thanks again for reading my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_"Did Cleon kiss you for Midwinter luck?" a familiar voice drawled in her ear._

_"Did Princess Kalasin ask for a dance at the ball tomorrow night?" she retorted to Neal._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Presentation Day**

Kel was fairly proud of herself. She had served at a party in the Crystal Room and her knight-master had _not_ been late this time. Squire duties at Midwinter were much better than the page duties had been, even if the nights were longer. The atmosphere at this party was more relaxed than at any of the banquets she had served as a page. Kel even had the chance to participate in a toast when the monarchs announced the happy news of the birth of her parents' newest grandchild.

After observing that Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami looked completely bored with one another, Kel had convinced Cleon, Neal and Yuki to help her 'corral' the prince and princess into a book room off to the side of the Crystal Room. There, they had been able to enjoy mutually interesting conversations with Lord Raoul and Buri and a variety of rotating visitors. Kel smugly considered the evening a success. Her night became more complicated later.

When Lord Raoul excused Kel for the night, Cleon walked with her back to her rooms. They chatted about the book room 'party' and how good it was to see their friends, Roald and Shinko, finally relax with one another and start to be comfortable with their betrothal. Kel was so focused on her little social triumph that it completely surprised her when Cleon pulled her into a shadowed niche in the hallway and kissed her passionately.

When the tall redheaded squire finally stopped his gentle assault on Kel's lips, she was surprised that she needed to catch her breath. Cleon's kisses really were nice, but she couldn't help thinking about the way Joren's stolen kisses had made her pulse race. Kel knew she had better tell Cleon that she just didn't feel the same about him as he obviously felt about her, but he started talking before she could say a word.

"Kel ... um ... about the other morning," Cleon gazed into Kel's eyes, still breathless. "I've been thinking ... and I was wondering if ... if ... perhaps, you and I ... um ... Blast it all!" He finally blurted out, "Kel, may I court you?"

Kel didn't know what to say. First of all, she had not been prepared for Cleon's romantic advances, even though Neal had hinted at them. Secondly, she had not been prepared for such a question, despite Cleon's earlier kisses. And, thirdly, she didn't want to hurt her friend, especially because she didn't know how she really felt. So Kel said the first thing that popped into her mind.

"I ... I'm only ... f-fifteen," Kel stammered. "I ... I should ... talk to my parents about ... about this."

Cleon pulled Kel into a tight hug. "Of course you should. Your parents are the best, Kel, just like you. And you know what? You're not too young for this; if you were a 'regular' fifteen-year-old girl, your father would be presenting you to the Court tomorrow anyway."

Kel was grateful that Cleon couldn't see her face since it was buried in his shoulder. Funny, she had never noticed how solid his chest was, or how muscular his arms felt or how nice he smelled. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, but then she stiffened when Cleon mentioned the next day's presentation of the young ladies.

There it was again: If Kel was a 'regular' girl, her father would be presenting her to the Court with the other young ladies. Hadn't Joren been obsessed with that issue to the point of committing a crime? What if Cleon - or any other future potential suitors - wondered what she'd be like as a 'regular' lady? Kel knew that she'd never be the same as most other girls her age; she just wanted to become a knight and help people who couldn't help themselves. She just didn't think she could do all that while wearing a fancy dress and satin slippers.

"Don't fret, Kel," Cleon had mistaken her now-stiff posture as worry over whether her parents would consent to him to courting her. "Sir Inness let it slip that your whole family really likes me. I know your parents will approve of this - I just know it." And he kissed the top of her head.

Now Kel had to stifle a groan. Her whole family liked him? Of course they did - as Inness' squire, the Mindelan clan had seen more of Cleon in the past two years than they had seen of her. He was sure her parents would approve of this? Of course they would - Cleon was polite and handsome and tall. Goddess! This was going to be more difficult than she thought.

"Um ... Cleon?" Kel began to pull away from him, "It's ... late and I think ... I think I should go to my rooms now."

"Yes ... of course. That's probably best." Cleon hesitated and then he released her, but only far enough so that he could kiss her once more.

This time, his kiss was short and sweet and he smiled down at her with the light of a nearby torch making his eyes sparkle. "Midwinter luck, Kel." He said softly.

Slowly, Cleon peeked out of the niche to check if anyone was coming and then he ushered Kel into the hallway again. "It's all clear; I'll see you to your door. That is, if it's alright with you." All Kel could do was nod.

There were other people walking about when they arrived at Kel's rooms, so Cleon couldn't kiss her again. Instead, he looked at her intently and wished her to have 'sweet dreams' before he headed back toward the squires' wing. Kel managed a small wave of her hand and then hurried into her room and shut the door.

Kel forced herself to stay calm, but she felt as though time and events were conspiring against her. It had seemed like weeks had passed since Cleon first kissed her, but it was only a few days. So much had happened since then: the trial, her talk with the monarchs, the meeting with Lord Wyldon, her kissing Joren before he left. There were so many new ideas and new emotions swirling around within her, Kel feared she might explode.

Additionally, Kel hadn't given much thought to the whole presentation event, except that she knew it was her knight-master's least favorite ball of the season. The 'hordes of match-making mothers' would be there in full force and he would be dodging them all night. Lord Raoul was required by the king's orders to attend the ball, so Kel would have to attend and serve there, too. Now she was dreading it almost as much as Raoul.

Tomorrow, Kel thought, she would watch as all the young ladies, her peers if she had attended the convent school, descended the grand marble staircase on the arms of their fathers. They would be dressed in their fanciest ball gowns and they would dance with the noblemen, young and old, to whom they might become betrothed someday. Kel suddenly realized that she'd probably be watching as some of her squire friends danced with these ladies. She would watch and she would wonder; what _if_ she had been one of them?

On a whim, Kel went to her desk drawer and pulled out Joren's poem and read it again before she went to bed. That night she dreamed of Joren having to rescue her from being wrapped up and smothered in yards and yards of velvet, silk and lace. She also dreamed of the way Joren's face looked after she kissed him, his sky-blue eyes wide with surprise under his pale blond lashes. Kel felt strangely giddy, but not well-rested when she woke up.

After the morning glaive practice with the Yamani ladies, Kel asked her mother if she could drop by for a chat after that evening's ball. She really wanted and needed her mother's womanly advice. Kel knew that Lord Raoul would look for any excuse to leave the event as soon as possible, and she vowed to figure out a way to help her knight-master escape so that she could, too.

* * *

Lady Ilane of Mindelan stood in front of window as she brushed the snarls out of her long silvery hair. There was a fine frost on the inside of the glass and the darkening sky outside promised to add more snow to the thick layer already on the ground. Her husband, Baron Piers, walked up behind her and circled her waist with his arms to comfort her.

"So, another grandson," Piers said softly. "Perhaps we'll ride out to Nond House after all the Midwinter festivities are over. Would you like that?"

Ilane turned to him and nodded. They both knew that she had wanted to be with their daughter, Adalia, when she gave birth to her first child, but their official duties took precedence over their family life right now. As the Tortallan ambassador to the Yamani Islands, it was Baron Piers' responsibility to ensure that the Yamani delegation successfully navigated the seemingly endless schedule of social and official functions of the Midwinter season in Corus.

"Oh, Piers, that would be wonderful," Ilane said. "I'm sure that Merovec's mother is taking excellent care of Adie and the baby, but I'd love to visit them and see them with my own eyes. The last time I spoke with Adie, she said that she and Mero were thinking about the name 'Francis' if they had a boy. That's a nice name, don't you think?"

"Yes, it is," Piers agreed and hugged her again. "So it's settled - we'll take a little trip after the holidays. I'm sure the Yamanis will appreciate some time on their own after all of the parties and gatherings. Now, what shall we wear to tonight's ball?"

Ilane smiled at her husband and then walked over to their wardrobe. After all their years of marriage, Piers still enjoyed wearing matching ensembles. It was a good thing that Kel's former maid, Lalasa, considered Kel's parents to be among her most important customers. The highly-desired seamstress always found the time to make outfits for them and for their Yamani friends.

"Last night we wore silver and blue." Ilane said. "Let's go with green and gold tonight. I noticed Lord Raoul's name on the guest list for tonight's event, so Kel might find it amusing when she sees that we match her knight-master's colors."

Piers laughed. "I like the way you think, my love!" Then he suddenly became more subdued. "Oh, blast. Tonight is the presentation of the new young ladies to the Court, isn't it?"

Ilane pressed her lips together and walked over to the mirror to braid her hair. She knew that her husband still had a few mixed emotions about the upcoming event. He already had presented their four older daughters when their times came. Tonight would have been the night that Piers presented their youngest daughter to the Royal Court - that is, if she hadn't gone into training to become a knight.

"What do you think Kel will do with her life, Ilane?" Piers asked her with a concerned look in his eyes. "What if she decides she wants a family after all? I don't think I'll be able to - or that I should try to - arrange a marriage for her, but I know I'll feel awful if Kel spends her life in service to the crown with no one to call her own. Have I done the right thing by her?"

Now it was Ilane's turn to comfort her husband. "Alanna the Lioness married a good man and her children are almost grown now. And according to some of the history books Avinar has read, many lady knights of the past were married and had children. Actually, some of our conservative friends might discover that they are the descendants of such women if they look closely enough at the branches their family trees. I think our Kel will be fine, Piers. Haven't you noticed the way a certain squire watches her whenever she's near?"

"Hmm. Inness' squire, Cleon of Kennan." Piers' eyebrows drew together. "He's a nice young man and all, but I thought you told me that he's been betrothed 'unofficially' to the Aminar girl for years. What of that?"

"You know those so-called early betrothals don't always work out, dear." Ilane shrugged. "Chances are that nothing will be firmed up until after Cleon becomes a full knight anyway. Inness speaks very highly of him - _and_ I think Kel likes him, too. I'm certain that I saw her glancing in Cleon's direction more than a few times at last night's party in the Crystal Room."

"Well, Squire Cleon hasn't spoken with _me_, yet." Piers' said gruffly. "I'm not sure that I approve of a young man just ... pursuing our daughter on his own. I've always had a say in the matter with our other girls."

Ilane blinked. "Kel's not like our other girls. Really, Piers, what did you think would happen when we decided to support Kel's extraordinary ambitions? As a knight, she'll be as free to choose her own path as Anders or Inness or any of our boys are. She's free to choose her own path _now_."

"I know, I know," Piers closed his eyes. "It's just that ... well ... she's the last of our girls, Ilane. She's _my_ baby, the child of my heart."

Now Ilane went to him and hugged him tightly. "So _that's_ what this is all about. You've finally realized that all our girls are grown up now. The news of Adie's baby has made you think about such things, too. Don't fret, my love. I'll talk to Kel and make sure she's alright. As a matter of fact, she asked if she could stop by tonight if we're back early enough."

"Oh, good. I'll go for a late-night stroll while you two talk." Piers smiled up at his wife. "I'm sorry, Ilane, I suppose I'll have to stop seeing Kel as the little, idealistic ten-year-old girl page we delivered to the palace."

Ilane's melodious laugh echoed throughout their room. "Yes, you must! Especially since she's now the tall, idealistic fifteen-year-old female squire to the commander of the King's Own. I promise I'll talk to her about her plans and prospects for the future. Meanwhile, we must hurry or we'll be late for the banquet." Then she kissed him and they finished getting dressed.

* * *

Twelve young ladies were presented to the Royal Court that Midwinter. Kel recognized the fief names of several of the girls, including one of Neal's sisters and another of Lord Wyldon's daughters. The ladies' beautiful gowns were a rainbow of bright colors and fabrics and Kel swelled with pride knowing that Lalasa had created several of the best-looking dresses in the room. At some point after the ceremony, though, Kel sensed that her father was hovering nearby and wanted to speak with her about something important.

"Papa, what is it?" she asked, sounding concerned. "Is something wrong?"

"Keladry, after seeing all these girls - young ladies - with their fathers, I just hope," Baron Piers paused and made his face Yamani calm. "I just hope that you don't have any regrets."

"Regrets?" Kel blinked. "No, Papa, I'm fine. Really, I am."

Piers gazed up at his youngest daughter and searched her now-Yamani-calm face. "I'm very proud of you, Kel. You've handled yourself so well these past few years. And the trial ... well, your mother and I, our whole family, we're so proud of your courage and your strength and your integrity." Then he stretched up and whispered into her ear, "You're more beautiful than _any_ of these young ladies here tonight."

Kel smiled and blinked back unshed tears after Piers patted her on the shoulder and disappeared into the crowd.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Kel was relieved to see that Cleon's name was not on the service roster for the presentation ceremony and ball. She'd been able to avoid him all day, but that would have been impossible if they were serving at the same event. Now, she could breathe and relax and try not to think about Cleon's courtship question until she'd had a chance to speak with her mother.

"Kel? I have someone who's _dying_ to meet you." Neal touched Kel's shoulder and she turned around, trying not to spill any of the drinks on the tray she was holding. "Squire Keladry of Mindelan, this is my next-to-youngest sister, Mariel of Queenscove."

"I'm so pleased to meet you, Squire Keladry. Neal has told me so much about you!" The newly-presented young lady curtsied to Kel, which made both of them blush.

They regarded each other with friendly curiosity. Neal's sister was wearing a jade green velvet gown which called attention to her sparkling green Queenscove eyes. She was small and cute - a head shorter than Kel - and she had the same brown hair as her tall brother. A major difference was that Mariel's long tresses were piled on top of her head in a mass of curls that Kel knew had to have taken quite some time to fashion. She suppressed a shudder at the memory of her own hairstyle nightmare.

"It's very nice to meet you, too." Kel smiled warmly at Neal's sister. "Please, call me Kel."

"And you must call me Mari." She smiled wider and her dimples made her face appear even cuter. "Neal says we're the same age. I think we should have been great friends if you had come to the convent instead of the palace. Then _I_ would be introducing _you_ to Neal." And she giggled.

Kel blinked and looked at Neal. She could tell that he was considering Mari's comment and wondering what Kel might have looked like as one of the young ladies who were scattered about the ballroom. The thought of Kel being dressed up like a convent girl made Neal smile wickedly at her and she knew her face was quite red now. Kel fought to keep her composure while she rearranged the drinks on her tray.

"That would have been ... interesting," Kel finally managed to say. "Perhaps we can get to know each other very soon. I'm sorry, Mari, but Neal and I are _supposed_ to be handing out these drinks right now. Would you care for some mulled cider?"

"Oh, no," Mari declined in an overly dramatic tone of voice."If I spill anything on this dress, Mother will kill me! I shall have to die of thirst tonight. By the way Neal, have you seen our cousin, Dom? He promised me he'd be here and he said he'd ask me to dance. All the other girls will be green with envy!"

Neal shook his head and explained to Kel, "Mari has had the most _indecent_ crush on Dom since she was, oh, about three years old. It's disgraceful!" He made a funny face at his sister and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Mariel of Queenscove!" a sharp voice sounded from behind them. It was one of the Daughters, the teacher/chaperones of the convent ladies. "That behavior is most unbecoming. You are a young noblewoman now, not an immature school girl. I shall suggest to your mother that you spend a bit more time practicing proper decorum. Do not let me catch you doing that again!"

"Yes, First Daughter, I understand," Mari inclined her head contritely and waited for the old woman to walk away before she glared at Neal and hissed, "Now see what you've done! I'll be lectured to death because of you."

Neal shrugged. "You're _always_ dying, Mari - dying to meet Kel, dying of thirst, dying of lectures. Why don't you decide to live and be done with the whole doom-and-gloom bit? It's most ... unbecoming."

Kel bumped Neal, which caused a few of the drinks on his tray to sway precariously. Then she winked at Mari who smiled brightly in return. Perhaps they would become good friends soon enough, but for now, Kel needed to perform her duties and look for an opportunity to get herself and Lord Raoul away from the ball. The poor man was surrounded by three very hungry-looking matrons - each one with a fresh young maiden in tow - and Kel knew it was time to rescue him.

On cue, exactly as they had planned, Kel walked over to Raoul with her tray of drinks and promptly 'tripped' so that her knight-master's black satin tunic and gold hose were drenched with juice. Thankfully, the ladies surrounding him had jumped back just in time so that their gowns were not splashed. Raoul made a show of chastising his squire and grumbling that he would have to make her carry around a tray the next day for extra practice. Then he excused himself and his squire and they left the ballroom before he had to dance again.

Across the room, Queen Thayet and Buri had been chatting together on the dais. They saw the entire 'spilt juice play' and shook their heads in mock disgust. They both agreed that it was shameful the way Raoul now was corrupting his young squire by including her in his event-escaping schemes.

Once they got back to their rooms, Kel told her knight-master of her plans to visit with her mother that evening. Raoul was more than happy with their 'performance' in the ballroom so he waved Kel away and wished her a good night. Then he disappeared into his rooms to change out of his damp outfit and finish the book he had been enjoying before he had to go to the accursed ball. _Now _it was a good night.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! More fluff for those of you who like it! ^_^ BTW, I know some readers want the action to move along faster, but I'm trying to tell an intricate AU story here. ;D I'm typing as fast as I can, but my 'real' life (you know - laundry, meal prep, checking mountains of homework, etc.) keeps intruding. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D**


	30. Maternal Revelations

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: This chapter originally was part of the previous chapter, but after I read through it, I thought it deserved a space of its own - plus it would have made for another huge chapter. I've taken quite a bit of dialogue from Squire, from the talk Kel and Ilane had while on the Progress. However, since my timeline is faster than in the original books, the ladies needed to have this chat a bit sooner. I hope that makes sense and I'm so happy that you're still reading my story - it's going to be a very long tale, indeed. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_After that night's service Kel visited her mother. They had talked about lovers and pregnancy, how these things happened, and how important it was to decide if she wanted children when she chose to bed a man. Still, then it had been all theoretical. With Cleon looming in her mind's eye, she wanted her mother's practical advice._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Maternal Revelations**

Although the Baron and Lady of Mindelan kept their own townhouse in Corus, they were staying in the guest wing of the palace for the Midwinter festivities. This was especially helpful for the Yamani delegation because they were able to summon the ambassador quickly whenever they had questions or needed advice. However, the hallway was very quiet when Kel knocked on the door to her parents' rooms because most of the people were still out at the presentation ball or at any number of other parties.

"Keladry! Come in, come in," Baron Piers ushered her in and then gave her an almost crushing hug. "I'm just going out for a walk. You two enjoy yourselves. I'm so glad you could stop by." His voice cracked just a little when he looked up at her.

Kel just stared at her father when he let go of her. Now she was quite concerned. It was so unlike her father to have such displays of emotion. Piers then excused himself from the room and left the women alone. When Kel glanced at her mother, Ilane only shook her head slightly.

"Your father is feeling, well, _fatherly_ tonight." Ilane explained. "Seeing all those young ladies - ladies the same age as you - being presented to the Court today was somewhat difficult for him. You are his special girl, you know, and he's just realized how grown up you've become. He'll be fine. Come, sit down and have some tea."

At first, Kel was happy to drink the freshly made green tea and chat with her mother about a variety of topics. They talked about the trip her parents planned to take to see Adie's new baby. Ilane explained the changes Anders planned for part of the lands back at Fief Mindelan. Kel described the griffin's latest fight as well as her recent training with Lord Raoul and she felt so content that she almost didn't want to bring up the issues she had come to discuss with her mother.

Ilane finally set down her tea cup and looked directly at Kel. "As much as I know you love fresh green tea, I also know you didn't come here just to sip several cups of it. Kel, what's on your mind? Tell me what's bothering you, dear."

"Mama," Kel looked down at the tea cup in her hands and asked quietly, "was Papa the first man who ... kissed you?"

"No, dear, he wasn't." Ilane looked at Kel with great curiosity and spoke slowly, "Didn't I ever tell you about my first kiss? I know I've told your sisters; but I suppose I never got around to telling you."

Kel shook her head, suddenly apprehensive about this new information from her mother. Her parents, for all their Yamani training, were quite affectionate with each other inside their own home. It was hard for Kel to imagine her mother kissing anyone except for her father - she and her siblings had witnessed their parents kissing so often that nobody ever blinked when they saw it. Part of her wanted to know, but the other part wasn't sure she wanted to know about her mother's life before being with her father.

Ilane sighed. "I would have loved for my first kiss to come from your father, but it didn't. And in case you were wondering, most girls don't marry the boys who kissed them first. One of your sisters was terrified that she'd have to marry someone she didn't really like because he gave her the oh-so-special first real kiss." Ilane's low chuckle filled her tea cup as she took a sip. "So ... Kel, who kissed you?"

Kel's head snapped up and she knew her face gave her away to her mother. For a brief moment, she struggled with what exactly to say. Then, instead of talking about Cleon or Joren, she talked about her first kiss with Neal. Kel told her mother all about her crush on her friend and about the boys' silly pact and Neal's sudden kiss and how she had been afraid it would ruin their friendship, but relieved when it didn't. Everything just tumbled out of her mouth in a jumble of words she couldn't seem to stop.

However, when Kel thought about Joren's stolen kisses and Cleon's recent kisses, her mind froze. Finally, she decided to tell her mother about the kisses themselves, but she left out names altogether, saying that of the two other boys who had kissed her since Neal's first kiss, one of them actually asked if he could court her. Then she felt terribly guilty for not giving her mother the full truth about her real problems. Afterward, Kel looked down at the tea cup in her hands again while her mother sat in silent contemplation.

"Well! I find it rather interesting that your _first_ kiss actually happened a while ago." Ilane's eyes now were dancing with amusement. "And you and Neal felt nothing - no spark, no tingle of excitement with each other?"

"It was like kissing Inness or Avinar," Kel shook her head and blushed, "Or what I imagine that would be like, anyway. And we're still the best of friends - like brother and sister, almost. Tonight I met Neal's actual sister, Mariel, and she's the same age as I am. I think it's rather funny."

Ilane smiled mysteriously. "It's funnier than you realize, dear. Before I met your father, _I_ had a very good male friend. Our mothers were the best of friends and we attended the same parties and events, many of them here at the palace. We learned to dance together and we always had a wonderful time. Then one summer, when I was fourteen, he gave me my very first kiss - right out there in one of the rose gardens. His name was ... Baird, Baird of Queenscove - your best friend's father, as a matter of fact."

Kel bobbled her tea cup and was relieved that it was empty. "Mama! Y-you kissed ... D-Duke Baird?" Kel suddenly remembered a time when Neal's father had said something to her about dancing with Lady Ilane.

Kel's mother laughed aloud at the horrified expression on her reddened face. "Darling, Baird wasn't the duke of anything back then and I was simply a very young Ilane of Seabeth and Seajen. The funny thing is that _our_ kiss seems to have had the same effect as the kiss you shared with Neal. There was no spark, there was no magic - even though Baird has the Gift and we truly cared for each other. I suppose it means that you and I are destined only to be good friends with the men of the Queenscove line."

Kel giggled at her mother's comment. It _was_ quite funny. She never would have guessed that she and her mother had something like this in common. It also was rather nice - if strange - to know of this new and different bond with her mother.

"Now, about these other kisses," Ilane began. "You said there are two young men who are vying for your affections. That's wonderful, Kel! Who do you like the best?"

Kel put down her tea cup and took a deep breath. "It's ... complicated, Mama. I like both of them, I think, but in very different ways and they're not actually _vying_ for my affections. I'm certain neither of them knows that the other has kissed me. The one who kissed me first - well, after Neal, that is - I don't think he's right for me. He ... he's arrogant and he ... bothers me and he makes me feel agitated most of the time. But the one who kissed me next makes me feel ... _safe_ and I know he really cares for me. Everyone likes him, too, and he's a wonderful friend, but there's no ... there's no-"

"No spark?" Ilane offered. "And ... there _is _a spark with the first young man, isn't there?"

Kel stared blankly ahead and felt a deep blush creep up her neck and face. "Yes, Mama, there are _lots_ of sparks and I don't understand why. I ... I kissed him back and that's why I have this problem--" Kel blinked and shut her mouth when she realized that she told her mother more than she had planned to say.

Ilane closed her eyes and spoke very slowly, "Keladry ..._ please_ tell me you've been wearing your pregnancy charm. I know we haven't spoken about it in a long time, but-"

"Oh, Mithros!" Kel gasped as she realized that Ilane had misunderstood her in a big way, "I don't have _that_ sort of problem, Mama. Honestly, we've only been ... kissing. And I always wear my charm, like you told me to, ever since I got my first monthlies. But I don't ... I mean I haven't ... oh, gods!" Kel covered her face; she was mortified that her mother could even think that she'd been with a man already.

Ilane exhaled and looked visibly relieved. Then she moved Kel's hands away and cupped Kel's cheek in one cool, long-fingered hand. "Forgive me. The last time I heard those words you spoke, we had to marry off one of your sisters a bit earlier than we had originally planned."

Kel's mouth dropped open in her mother's hand. She hadn't realized that there had been a rushed wedding among her sisters. But then again, Kel was so much younger than her four sisters, there had to be many things that she didn't know about them.

"Thank the Goddess you're smarter than--" Ilane abruptly let go of Kel's face and smoothed her dress. "But Kel, sometimes a girl may be carried away and it's not always about love. Lust may feel wonderful enough to be mistaken for love. Do _I_ know either of these young men who've been kissing you?"

"Yes, Mama, you do." Kel blushed and looked down at her hands in her lap. "They're both ... squires, like me."

"Really?" Ilane's raised her eyebrows. "Have we seen them around the palace lately?"

Kel only nodded when she lifted her head to make eye contact with her mother, who stared at her for a long moment. Kel was very glad her father had gone out for a long walk. She hoped he wouldn't return any time soon.

"Well!" Ilane said finally, sitting back in her chair. "You're in a unique position, I'd say."

"Um ... how so, Mama?" Kel could not imagine what her mother was thinking.

"You are a lady squire, Kel. Most squires - rightly or wrongly - gain a reputation for being quite amorous prior to knighthood. And most young noblewomen don't have your freedom, dear," replied Ilane. "Remember all those girls you saw at the presentation ceremony today? Their fathers are quite determined to marry them off in such a manner as to keep their family bloodlines pure; that means the girls must stay virgins until they're married. I've always thought that the nobility is like one big stable, with the horse breeders trying to keep their mares from being mounted by the wrong stallions."

"Mama!" Kel exclaimed. She'd never heard her mother speak about such things. "I'm not ... I don't want ... I don't know what to say."

"Well, I have plenty to say," Ilane bristled. "I think that the common folk have the right of it - they know a woman's body belongs to herself and the Goddess, and that's the end of it. Kel, since you've decided against an arranged noble marriage, you may bed whomever you like."

Kel swallowed. "Is that my ... my ... unique position?"

"Yes, darling, it is." Ilane replied firmly. "Unlike other young ladies, you don't have to wait for your father to find a suitable match for you. And although he does worry about your prospects if you decide you want a family, your father knows that you are your own person. He might even be relieved to hear that you already have _two_ potential suitors from among your fellow squires. The point is, Kel, you can _choose_."

Goose bumps rolled down Kel's arms. "But I don't want to choose anything like that! I ... I want my shield - I've given up everything for it. And I don't want to be distracted," she admitted, "Especially not by my fellow squires."

"Well, that's understandable, dear," Ilane said soothingly. "You will have to take into consideration how you might safeguard your reputation so that ugly rumors don't come back to haunt you. As I said, the decision is up to you, though, and I think it's wise of you to consider everything before you commit yourself to anyone."

"I don't think I want to bed anyone, Mama." Kel looked at the scars on her hands and remembered the way Joren had kissed them. "It's really ... just kissing, that's all."

"Kissing may lead to more serious things, my darling. It's best if you're prepared." Ilane smiled kindly at her youngest daughter. "Is ... Inness' squire, Cleon of Kennan, one of your would-be suitors?"

Kel gasped. "How did you--"

"Just an educated guess," Ilane replied, her eyes suddenly watery. "And another guess is that Cleon's the 'nice one,' isn't he?

"He really is nice, Mama," Kel quickly admitted. "And I know that Cleon would be a much better match for me than ... the other one. It's just that--"

"I know," Ilane nodded. "There's no spark."

Now Kel felt small with guilt. Words could not describe how mixed up she felt. After what Cleon had said about her family liking him and all, Kel was fairly certain that she knew why her mother correctly guessed that her tall, redheaded friend was one of her potential suitors. But there was no sane way to explain her attraction to the horrid young man who had just been found guilty of a terrible crime against her and her maid.

"Well, I don't have any ideas about the identity of this 'other one' and I sense that you don't wish to tell me his name just yet," Ilane sounded much more serious. "But I won't lie to you, either Kel; I really like Cleon as a suitor for you - we all do - and I'm _glad_ he finally kissed you. The suspense of when he would get up the nerve to do anything was so vexing to me. It's been almost painful to watch him watching you. And poor Inness - he's had to endure his squire's lovelorn face ever since Adie's wedding."

"Adie's wedding! What an accursed day for me!" Kel scoffed, startling both herself and her mother with her harsh tone of voice. "Mama, do you realize that so much of this ... this ... romantic _nonsense _has come from you making me wear a fancy dress and fancy hair and face paint for Adie's wedding? If _they_ hadn't seen _me_ like that, none of this would be happening now!"

"They?" Ilane blinked. Kel groaned inwardly. She knew it would take only a few moments for her intelligent mother to figure out who 'they' were, especially since she already knew about Cleon. When she heard her mother gasp, Kel hung her head and put the palms of her hands over her eyes.

"_They?_ Keladry ... no," Ilane stood up and talked to herself as she paced across the room. "That _can't_ be right, but there were only two squires present at the wedding. No, not _him_. Goddess, no! _Joren of Stone Mountain_ is the 'other one' - the one with whom you've had ... sparks?"

"I'm sorry, Mama." Kel felt awful. Now she wished she had blurted out all this information earlier in their conversation. "I told you ... it's ... it's complicated."

"_Complicated?!_" Ilane exclaimed. "Kel, please explain this to me: how is it possible for you to like Joren - the same Joren who has hurt you and your friends so much? When exactly have you two kissed?"

"I ... I promised not to tell." Kel admitted, shamefacedly. "Before the kidnapping, we were becoming friends - better friends, I thought. We didn't fight anymore, we ... exchanged secrets. I know why Joren did what he did, Mama, and even though it was stupid of him, I truly understand. I ... I've ... forgiven him."

Kel quickly decided to tell her mother about things she hadn't promised Joren not to tell. She told Ilane that Joren had been the student she had helped when she was a page. She talked about Joren's poem and how she figured out that the handwriting on the kidnapper's map and instructions was not Joren's handwriting. Kel even told Ilane about the agreement between Lord Wyldon, Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton to rehabilitate Joren's sense of chivalry by having her read and correct his letters to her.

It was a great relief for Kel to get at least a few important things out into the open. There was so much more that she just couldn't talk about yet, but what she did say seemed to put her mother into a solemn, pensive mood. When Kel finished talking, Ilane was standing by the window and staring at a flickering candle on the opposite side of the room.

"There's even more I haven't told you, Mama, but I can't speak of it now because it has to do with the trial." Kel began again. "All I can say is that Joren didn't plan for Lalasa to be taken up to Balor's Needle. He didn't act alone, but he can't speak of it, either. It's bad enough, though, that Joren really did pay the kidnappers, so the trial and punishment was justified."

"I see." Ilane nodded and began speaking in a soft voice. "Keladry, you may not realize this, but sometimes people say what they say so that other people will do what they want them to do. How do you know that Joren's not telling you tales just to get what he wants?"

"I _don't_ know, Mama, but I believe him about this. That's why ... that's why I think I have ... a problem." Kel's voice broke as she continued, "I know I shouldn't care about Joren at all, but I do. And I think that I _should_ care for Cleon more than anybody else, but I don't. Last night, when Cleon asked if he could court me, I didn't know what to say. That's really why I needed to talk to you tonight. Can you try to understand?"

Ilane returned to her chair and began to speak, "When I first met your father, he was not the man you know today. He was quite a bit more forward then - very much like your brother, Conal. Nicer, but still ... hmm ... somewhat rowdy. Fatherhood - as well as his diplomatic career with the Yamanis - calmed Piers considerably over the years."

Kel raised her eyebrows at this revelation. Her father had been rowdy? She almost laughed at the thought, but then controlled herself when she saw how serious her mother was.

"_Everyone_ thought I should marry the tall and refined Baird of Queenscove - our parents had talked about it for years." Ilane continued. "Of course, no one else ever thought twice about Piers of Mindelan as a proper match for me. I'm sure that was due in part because I'm so much taller than he is. But I liked Piers because he had such a wicked sense of humor. Your father has no shame of his lack of height and he even made his own jokes about it."

"He still makes jokes about it," remarked Kel, "He told me tonight, at the ball, that now that you and I are the same height, he wished he could dance with both of us at the same time. He wanted to brag that he had the prettiest 'book-ends' in the realm."

"Yes, that's your father, alright. I liked Piers because, unlike so many other men, he wasn't too intimidated by my height to ask me to dance." Ilane paused and smiled slyly at Kel. "I also liked him because he wasn't afraid to lay his head on my chest and hum to me while we danced. And the first time Piers kissed me, well, there were lots of sparks. I definitely wanted him to kiss me again. That's how you feel about Joren, isn't it?"

Kel nodded. "Mama ... how did you ... get to be with Papa?" She knew her face was beet-red.

"The stubbornness you and your siblings possess is a 'gift' from my side of the family," Ilane quipped, "Your grandfather outlasted all of my many tantrums and refusals to attend social events if he persisted in trying to make me marry Baird. He even threatened to drag me to the altar by my hair to marry who _he_ chose for me. In the end, it was Baird finding his true love - Neal's mother - that freed me to be with your father. I thank the gods every day for that. And after more than thirty-five years of marriage and nine children - six of you already married - I've learned a thing or two about courting and marriage."

"Then ... what should I do about Cleon?" Kel asked. "I know you like him, but Papa's not planning on negotiating a betrothal between us, is he?"

Ilane's face fell a little. It seemed that some things never changed from one generation to the next. She told Kel of the potential betrothal for Cleon between him and the daughter of his mother's best friend. Kel was surprised - and a little hurt - by this information.

"Why would Cleon ask to court me if he's going to be betrothed to someone else?" Kel asked. "That doesn't seem right, Mama."

Ilane thought for a moment before she answered. "Keladry, you may find this hard to believe, but knowledge of the future sometimes does not affect people as you think it should. Perhaps Cleon will marry Ermelian someday, but perhaps he won't. He likes _you_ and you're here now; any possible betrothal won't occur until after he's knighted, anyway."

"But, Mama," Kel looked alarmed. "What if I ... gave myself to Cleon now, but he still ends up with ... someone else later?"

"Ah, that also is something you may decide for yourself, dear," Ilane said. "You might just want to put everything off - courting, betrothals, marriage and even bedding - until you're really ready for all the consequences of such actions."

"I ... I don't know if I'm ready for any of that." Kel's mind felt ready to explode again. "Perhaps it won't matter anyway - Inness will drag Cleon back up to the northern border whenever the passes are clear and Lord Raoul will be taking me south to Tyra after Midwinter. Cleon and I won't be near each other until ... until the Progress." Kel blinked and then turned to face Ilane. "Mama! I think that's my answer - I'll just tell Cleon it would be better to wait and see how we feel later."

"And what of Joren?" Ilane asked. "Do you think that's the approach you'll take with him as well?"

Kel sighed. "Why is being an adult so confusing, Mama? I liked it much better when the boys just treated me like their sister. Then I could pound them on the practice courts and be done with it. Now, I worry about how they see me or if they see me as a female at all. And the Lioness can't help me because - even if she was allowed to talk to me - she was disguised as a boy when she was here. I hate this!"

"I'm sorry, darling," Ilane touched Kel's face with the palm of her hand. "You're the first female to come through the training like this, so there are very few guidelines for you. Remember these things so that you may help girls who come here in the future. I know that won't help you figure out what to do now, but your father and I have faith in you, Kel. You'll make good decisions - and if you don't, you'll learn from your mistakes and move on. The question remains: What do you want to do most of all?"

"I just want my shield," Kel whispered. "I'll deal with the rest later. The - complications."

"Then you _do_ have your answer." Ilane smiled wistfully at Kel. "Take care of yourself, no matter what you decide to do about the young men. You know how I feel about each one, but _you_ have to live your life, Kel; I cannot decide for you. Now, here's an easy decision: would you like another cup of tea?"

* * *

**A/N: Yay! I've written well over 100,000 words in this story so far! :D In this chapter I imagined Ilane of Mindelan to be very much like my own mom - intuitive, realistic, and straightforward. She always made me think for myself and I'm thankful that she's still in my life. I still can talk to her about difficult situations. I like the way TP wrote Ilane, too, and I thought it was time for the Kel in my story to have a heart-to-heart with her wise, not-old mom. Anyway, please R & R. Thanks! :D**


	31. At Nond House

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine. In this chapter I also went back to ****In the Hand of the Goddess ****to pull the ritual words of the Ordeal of Knighthood that Gary and Jonathan spoke to Alanna before she entered the Chamber, because TP only had Lord Raoul and Duke Turomot say a portion of them in ****Squire****. **

**A/N: Thank you again for the many lovely reviews. They are so encouraging! ^_^ My 'real' life has kept me quite busy lately; please forgive me for being so far behind on my responses to your reviews. Also, thanks again for continuing to read my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_A light snow had begun to fall, but the skies to the east appeared clearer. Sir Paxton and Joren would have a cold journey to the now-joyful Nond House. Kel watched them as they mounted their horses and rode toward the palace gate. Joren glanced back at her once and nodded. _

_

* * *

_

**At Nond House**

The snowy conditions did not hinder Sir Paxton and his squire as they rode to Nond House. When they arrived at their destination, members of the household greeted them with a hot meal and warm cider to throw off their chills. The main hall was decorated for the Midwinter season, with garlands of freshly cut evergreens and decorative ribbons. The whole house radiated with a festive atmosphere.

Joren had accompanied his knight-master to Nond House twice before, and he had enjoyed himself immensely - especially when he was with two of the cutest chamber maids who found the handsome squire's charms irresistible. There were no women available to him at the desert camp, so he figured he'd better entertain himself as much as possible while he was still in the north. Joren was thinking about such fun when he snuggled under the warm coverings of his bed and fell into a deep sleep.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Everything seemed so real - the swirling dust motes visible in the filtered light of his tent, the dusty smell of the desert, and even the muffled sounds of the activities outside of his tent. He knew he was dreaming, though, when Kel - the same Kel who had kissed him earlier that day - entered his tent and knelt down beside him, next to his cot.

_He was lying there in excruciating pain, completely unable to move. Kel's dream-self asked him a question he could not comprehend and then he felt her cool fingertips traveling slowly across his chest and down along the bare skin of his torso. Although he was certain that Kel did not possess any magical Gift, a soothing sensation radiated from her hands and he felt relief. Soon, though, different, painfully pleasant warmth from the depths of his abdomen began to spread throughout his body. _

_Whatever it was that Kel was doing, she was oblivious to effect she was having on him. He heard his dream-self ask Kel to go away, but she shook her head, mumbled incoherently and continued her strange inspection of his exposed skin. As she reached over to move her hands along his other side, the edge of Kel's clothing gently brushed his face and he could smell the slightly floral scent of her bath soap. Frustrated, he finally growled at her to stop touching him. When she turned her head to look at his face, he saw that her hazel eyes were very, very green._

_Then, just as in the stable that morning, Kel shyly pressed her lips to his and his whole body felt like it went up in flames. _

Joren awoke and sat bolt upright. The faint light of the winter dawn shone around the edges of the window draperies. He shut his eyes against the memory of the dream and groaned. When his breathing finally returned to normal, Joren realized it would be best - and far less embarrassing - if he took care of his personal laundry on his own.

* * *

"Squire Joren, please sit down." Sir Paxton gestured to one of the chairs in front of the large desk. His facial expression was grim. "This morning I received a mage-message from your father. Lord Wyldon has informed him of your new probationary status, as well as the conditions you must meet in order to be allowed to go through your Ordeal of Knighthood."

Joren nodded his understanding. The squire was not surprised at the quickness of his father's message. Stone Mountain was very isolated, especially once the winter snows closed the northern passageways, and Lord Burchard always employed a strong mage so that he could communicate with the outside world.

Paxton continued, "As you can imagine, Lord Burchard is not pleased with the events of the past week. He was rather ... hostile toward me. Joren, your father actually warned me that your performance had better improve or he will take firm and drastic measures against both of us. We both know that he is not a man prone to issuing idle threats."

Joren's lunch began to feel like a lead weight in the pit of his stomach. "Yes sir," was all he could manage to say.

"In order to assuage your father, I have set a rigorous course for the next several months." Paxton stated. "We both know that, as your knight-master, I have been far too lenient with you. I assure you that will no longer be the case. I have no intention of being on the receiving end of Lord Burchard's wrath and I should think you would not want that either."

"No sir," Joren replied as he remembered times when he hid from his father to escape the man's rage. "I do not."

"Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, we must stay at Nond House until the end of January." Paxton continued. "My father is not in the best of health, and there are many things here to which I must attend. Also, with the birth of Merovec and Adalia's son, my wife has expressed her desire that I remain here to help with entertaining the inevitable additional holiday guests and well-wishers."

"Yes sir!" Joren's spirits lifted for a moment. This would be such a treat - a whole month at Nond House! Sir Paxton's continued scowl was the only thing that kept Joren from smiling widely. Joren began to get a bad feeling again about whatever his knight-master would say next.

"There will be new rules for you here this time." Paxton handed Joren a parchment on which he had written a detailed schedule of activities. "You will keep to a regular schedule of study and physical training. My brother has offered to assist you with your academics while you are here, and my men-at-arms will spar with you when I am unavailable. You will complete your weekly assignments and show them to me prior to sending them to Lord Wyldon and Squire Keladry. This is not a holiday for us, Joren."

Joren pushed away thoughts of the previous night's dream when he heard Kel's name. Then he looked at the schedule and groaned inwardly. It was almost as bad as being a page again. Apparently, Sir Paxton was taking Lord Burchard's threats quite seriously. Joren looked up and nodded his understanding.

"I am certain that Lord Wyldon imposes certain rules of decorum for all you squires when you are in residence at the palace. And I now will do likewise here at Nond House." Paxton abruptly cleared his throat. "It has come to my attention that you indulged in quite a bit of ... female companionship when we were here previously. To that end, I have spoken with my chamberlain and he has spoken with his staff - especially the maids. They now understand that there will be none of that during your stay this time. If you choose to disregard my rules for you, any female may report your misbehavior to me. Do you understand?"

Joren blinked. "Yes sir. I understand." Now his spirits plummeted. This would be torture for him because he had not been with a woman in a very long time. He already had hinted to one of the scullery maids that she should visit him after she completed her kitchen duties. Now he knew that if he pursued any liaisons within Nond House, someone would report him to his knight-master. The pit in the bottom of Joren's stomach grew heavier.

"You may think this is extreme, Joren," Paxton's voice had less of an edge to it now. "But I am doing this to _help_ you. Your training master believes - and I happen to agree with him - that you can be better than you currently are. Despite your recent poor behavior, there is the possibility that you still may become a worthy knight of the realm. The choice is yours to make."

"Sir, I ... I'm not sure I understand," Joren said. "What choice do I have?"

Paxton sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked at Joren and realized that his squire probably had not considered becoming anything other than a knight. Also, given what Paxton knew of Lord Burchard's attitudes and demeanor, there was little chance that he ever knew of any other options. Even if Joren had been born magically Gifted, Paxton doubted that the Lord of Stone Mountain ever would have allowed his only son to train for anything except knighthood.

"Joren, why do you want to be a knight?" asked Paxton. "What is the main reason you want offer your sword arm in service to the realm?

"Sir?" Now Joren was confused. No one ever asked him that question before. "I ... I have to become a knight. I'm the only male heir to Stone Mountain. It's my duty."

"If you weren't the heir and you could do whatever you liked," Paxton proposed, "Would you still want to become a knight?"

"Yes sir, I would. It's ... it's all I've ever wanted to be. I'm quite skilled with weapons and I like to fight. I ... I'm not much good at anything else." Joren felt a cold chill run down his spine. Why was Sir Paxton asking him these things?

Paxton looked at him oddly. "Do you realize that you do not _have _to be a knight to be an overlord, Joren? There are many heads of Houses throughout Tortall who've never become knights. Most Bazhir headmen are not knights. I only chose to enter the training to become a knight after my oldest brother died in the great Sweating Sickness during the previous king's reign. I wanted to honor Francis' life and serve the realm with my sword. I thank the gods for my two sons, but if I had no heirs and something tragic happened to me, Merovec, who never wished to become a knight, would become the lord of this House."

"Why are you telling me this, sir?" Joren's voice sounded slightly shaky now, "Am I ... am I in worse trouble than anyone has said?"

Paxton sighed and placed an ancient-looking scroll on the desk. "This will be your first reading assignment while we are here; these are the ritual words that I will say to you before you enter the Chamber of the Ordeal. You should consider them very carefully." Paxton reached out and put his hand on Joren's shoulder before he continued. "Joren, the Chamber has no mercy. It _knows_ your deepest, darkest secrets. It _knows_ your hidden hopes and fears. You must change your ways if you hope to survive your Ordeal. I will leave you to your studies now. Think about what I've said."

Sir Paxton got up and handed the scroll to Joren before he exited the library. Joren sat there for moment and he shivered once despite the warmth coming from the hearth. He slowly unrolled the stiff parchment and began to scan the words he had heard many times before, but never really paid much attention to when he was in Sir Myles' and Master Oakbridge's classes. Goosebumps prickled Joren's skin as he read the ancient lines.

*************

_1. If you survive the Ordeal of Knighthood, you will be a Knight of the Realm. You will be sworn to protect those weaker than you, to obey your overlord, to live in a way that honors your kingdom and your gods._

_2. To wear the shield of a knight is an important thing. It means you may not ignore a cry for help. It means that rich and poor, young and old, male and female may look to you for rescue, and you cannot deny them._

_3. You are bound to uphold the law. You may not look away from wrongdoing. You may not help anyone to break the law of the land, and you must prevent the breaking of the law at all times, in all cases._

_4. You are bound to your honor and your word. Act in such a way that when you face the Dark God you need not be ashamed._

_5. You have learned the laws of Chivalry. Keep them in your heart. Use them as your guides when things are their darkest. They will not fail you if you interpret them with humanity and kindness. A knight is gentle. A knight's first duty is to understand._

*************

Joren's fingers traced the words as he read down the scroll and a feeling of nausea washed over him. He struggled to keep his lunch in his stomach when he read the last three paragraphs. Joren knew he was in very deep trouble and he hoped he could find his way out of it before he faced the Chamber.

* * *

Adalia of Nond glared at her husband, Merovec, as he held their newborn son, Francis, in his arms. The love of her life had just informed her that the person she wanted to see the least in the world was staying in their household until the end of the month. Her anger and disappointment had caused one of the couple's rare fights after he came up from supper that evening.

"How can you stand there and defend Paxton keeping him here?" Adie demanded. "That ... that ... _scoundrel _masquerading as a squire hurt my sister! How could anyone pay criminals to hurt Lalasa? She's the gentlest soul you'd ever want to know. And poor Tian! She'd probably still be my maid if she hadn't been so worried about Lalasa's health after the kidnapping. Why didn't Paxton dismiss Joren?" She spit out the squire's name with considerable contempt.

"Sweetheart, we've been over this a hundred times already," Mero pleaded and handed his son back to his nursemaid. "I don't understand how Joren could have done such a thing, either. Sure, he's his father's child, but I _never _would have thought him capable of such an act against your sister and her maid. However, Joren _did _confess to the magistrate, he paid the fine and now he's been sent away from the palace - at least for the time being. Paxton feels it's his duty as a knight-master to rehabilitate his squire. Adie, _please_, can't you just ... let it go?"

"No, I can't." she replied. "My parents will be here tomorrow and I thought Paxton and his squire would've departed by now. How do you think _they _will react to staying under the same roof with the man who was just convicted of such a crime against their daughter? Don't you feel ashamed that Nond House is harboring such a creature?"

Mero wrapped his arms around his wife and comforted her. "Adie, sweet, you used to like Joren. When you first met him you told me it was a good thing we already were betrothed or you might be tempted to wait for him to grow up. Remember?"

"Humph!" Adie rolled her eyes. "That was just ... maidenly silliness. I didn't know he would turn out to be such a villain. I cannot comprehend how the charming young squire who attended our wedding - and danced with all my cousins - is this ... this ... Aagh! Honestly, Mero, I just want to slap him hard for Kel's sake."

Mero sighed and held her tighter. "Paxton thinks there's still hope - something good is deep inside of Joren and I believe him. I'll work with him, too. Give him a chance to prove himself. My love, how would you like it if all your faults and mistakes were held against you for the rest of your life? I know I wouldn't like it at all."

"That's because you've never done anything so horrid," sniffed Adie. "You barely have any faults at all. In fact, I think you're perfect."

Mero laughed. "You say such things now, but just this morning you complained that I snored and stole the covers from you. I certainly don't want you to bear a grudge forever because of that." He gently tweaked the end of her nose and she smiled up at him. "Now, what of Squire Joren? Do you think you can be civil toward him?"

"Fine." Adie sighed. "I won't leave a room anymore when he follows Paxton in."

"And?" Mero prodded.

"_And_ I'll come down to eat supper in the main dining room even though I know he'll be there, too," she conceded as she snuggled into his embrace. "But you can't make me like him again - he'd have to do something extraordinary for _that_ to happen."

* * *

"Well?" Lady Ilane said as she drew lazy circles on her husband's bare arm. "What do you make of Squire Joren now?"

Baron Piers of Mindelan shifted under the covers of their bed and embraced his wife. "I don't know, Ilane, I just don't know. He's quite puzzling and I don't like puzzles without solutions."

It was their last night at Nond House before they returned to their town house in Corus. For the past two weeks they visited with Adie and Mero and the other members of the Nond household, and Ilane spent a lot of time holding their newest grandson, Francis.

They had enjoyed their stay at the immense Nond House, but it would be good to be back in the peace and quiet of their own modestly cozy home. It also would be good to be away from the awkward and unsettling presence of Sir Paxton's squire, Joren of Stone Mountain. They initially were somewhat dismayed to see Joren with Merovec's brother, but they used all their diplomatic skills to maintain a cordial atmosphere.

The last time Piers and Ilane had seen Squire Joren was in the courtroom when the arrogant, blond squire was behaving contemptuously toward their daughter, Keladry, as well as toward his own counselors and even the Lord Magistrate. The subdued, polite and gracious young man who patiently and expertly served his knight-master at Nond House did not seem to be the same person whose callous disregard for their daughter and her maid had caused such pain.

"I certainly don't know what to think. He's such a different person here. If _this _is the Joren that Kel knows best," Ilane snuggled closer to Piers, "Then it's no wonder she's confused. _I'm_ confused about who he really is."

"One thing I do know is that when it comes to family lines, the apples don't fall very far from their trees." Piers stated firmly. "Kel has a good head on her shoulders - I just hope she's as careful around the young Stone Mountain as I have to be around his sire."

"What do you mean?" Ilane asked. "Are you talking about Lord Burchard, now?"

Piers pursed his lips. "Burchard is not one of my favorite people. His agents and the merchants who work for them are always snooping about for more favorable trade agreements with the Yamanis. Stone Mountain already has most of the contracts within the islands and I discovered that they've been pushing other exporters of fine stone out of competition for several years. I don't like it, but there's too much money flowing into the treasury through taxes to make it stop."

Ilane leaned upon her elbow and gazed down at Piers' face. "What's that got to do with Joren's behavior?"

"Burchard thinks that his vast wealth will allow him to get away with anything he pleases - and to a certain extent, he's right." Piers toyed with the laces of Ilane's nightgown. "Clearly, he has passed this trait down to his son. Who knows what that young man might decide to pay for next? And if it's our Kel he wants, well, that concerns me."

"What do you think we should do? Should we warn her?" Ilane sounded alarmed. "I know there's still some time - at least until Kel earns her shield - but I can't bear another situation like Demi's marriage."

Ilane was referring to their second daughter, Demadina, and her very difficult marriage to Sir Gelvan haMinch. Neither Piers nor Ilane thought that their lively and free-spirited daughter would be happy with the stiff and serious knight from a staunchly conservative family. However, the more they resisted their daughter's choice, the more she insisted that she wouldn't agree to marry anyone else. It was familiar territory, but the weary parents of the newly-born Avinar failed to recognize and heed the warning signs.

Piers and Ilane finally gave in to Demi's stubbornness and, not surprisingly, her marriage had been strained and unhappy from the very beginning. After a few years and three children together, Sir Gelvan spent almost all of his time away from home, serving under his uncle's army command. Demi's letters to her parents hinted that she was surrounded by condescending in-laws and her life was fairly dreary. Ilane truly did not want the same thing to happen to Kel if she ended up with Joren.

"I think it will be best if we wait and see what happens." Piers said, "We absolutely must not denounce the Stone Mountain boy while singing the praises of the Kennan boy or any other suitor who may come along. You'll remember how well that worked when _your _parents did that. Besides, you said that Kel really is concentrating on earning her shield first, so the less we say about our preferences, the better the chances are that she'll make wise choices."

"I know you're right, dear," Ilane snuggled into the warmth of his shoulder. "Still, I wish that Kel liked Cleon best."

Piers smiled lovingly at his wife and hugged her tight to his body, "Ah, but speaking as a reformed almost-outcast myself, I honestly can say that we never can predict the future accurately. All we can do is hope for the best and pray to survive the worst. I think we've done alright, don't you?" Then he kissed Ilane passionately and they didn't speak of their worries anymore that night.

* * *

"I've finished reading your reports and I think they are satisfactory." Mero told Joren several days before the squire and his knight-master prepared to leave Nond House to return to their desert post. "It was good to see that you incorporated Lord Wyldon's suggestions from your previous report. Now, about the letters to Squire Keladry - you sent the first one without either of us checking it, didn't you?"

"Yes ... I did." Joren admitted. "I knew it was awful and I just didn't want to have to rewrite it again." At least that was mostly the truth.

Joren hated this part of his 're-training' because writing was so hard for him. It had taken him most of the week to compose and send Kel a few poorly-written paragraphs about chivalry. He knew that his letter was not remotely close to being acceptable work, but he also had included a very personal note to Kel and he really hadn't wanted either Sir Paxton or Mero to see it.

"Paxton is willing to overlook it this time, Joren, but do not bypass him again." Mero said kindly, "Well, since you seem to be having so much trouble writing about chivalry and the ritual of knighthood, I suggested a different, but related, reference book to my brother and he agreed with my selection."

Joren watched Merovec as he walked over to the bookshelf and pulled down a small leather-bound book. The scholar lovingly rubbed his hand over the face of the book and placed it on the desk in front of Joren. Joren stared at the title for a long time before he looked up at his temporary tutor.

"The Rules of Courtly Love, by Sir Andrew of Capellan." Joren was horrified when he read the words on the cover of the very old book. "Surely you're joking. What's the point of me writing about ... all this?"

"My brother told me that your father is deep in the negotiations for your betrothal to one of the haMinch girls," Mero paused when he saw Joren wince, "So ... I thought this would be a good book for you to study in preparation for courting your chosen lady once you become a knight."

Joren opened the cover of the book and groaned. It was worse than he'd imagined. There were thirty-one rules listed on the first two pages and then the rest of the book was an in-depth exploration of all the rules. The first rule listed was: "Marriage is no real excuse for not loving." _Right._ The last rule on the page was: "Nothing forbids one woman being loved by two men or one man by two women." _Hah! _Joren shut the book with a loud clap and the dust motes made him sneeze.

"This is worse than the ritual's words," Joren complained as he waved the book in the air. "I can't write about ... _courtly love _to Squire Keladry. It wouldn't be ... it's just not ... proper."

Mero rolled his eyes. "Writing is writing. It's like ... sparring. The more you practice your skills, the better you become. You have to use a variety of weapons to become a skilled fighter and you have to write about different things to become a better writer. I recommend that you compose something about chivalry one week, and then something about courtly love the next week. It'll be simple to keep alternating, Joren - you'll see."

"Fine." Joren wanted to scream his frustration, but that would go against the code of chivalry, so he controlled himself and tried to sound civil. "What if I write my comments as though I am a ... a scholar ... like you, Mero? I'm merely _studying _these rules of courtly love - the way you study the customs of a particular region - I'm not putting them into practice at this time." Especially since he wasn't allowed to touch any of the females at Nond House.

"That's the spirit, Squire Joren!" Mero exclaimed. "We'll make a decent writer out of you yet."

What Mero didn't realize was that the main problem for Joren wasn't some sort of 'writer's block' about the concepts of chivalry; every time the troubled squire studied the ritual of knighthood, he nearly choked on his terrible feelings of guilt. Practically every word struck a stinging blow to Joren's newly-aware conscience. He_ knew _he wasn't ready to enter the Chamber yet and he wasn't sure he'd ever be ready. Foolishly, Joren wished for time to pass quickly so that he could move on to the jousting lessons in the desert with Lord Raoul.

* * *

**A/N: In case some of you haven't noticed, I am a **_**complete **_**book nerd. ;D That said, I did a little research on medieval codes of chivalry so that I could figure out what kind of book or scroll Joren might have had to study for writing his letters to Kel. That's how I came across the 12th century classic ****The Art of Courtly Love ****by Andreas Capellanus, which I 'reworked' as the other reference Merovec gave to Joren. Not much fluff, just the dream kind, but I hope you liked it anyway. Let me know what you think. Thanks again for reviewing! :D**


	32. Letters

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine. **

**A/N: This chapter's format is a little different. As the title states, there will be letters. I've italicized them and placed them between asterisk dividing lines. I hope that helps to distinguish them from the book quotes. BTW, all of Joren's letters have a bunch of mistakes written into them on purpose, so I apologize if your computer's spell checker goes again for reading my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_The next evening Cleon had duty at a different party from Kel. That's a relief, she told herself as she offered sweetmeats to the heads of guilds and their wives. Of course it's a relief, not to see him so soon. I need time to decide what to say to him, or what to do, when I see him. Particularly what I'll do. Not that I plan to _do_ anything._

_Then they didn't serve together at any other Midwinter parties. Kel only glimpsed him once, at a distance. She told herself that she was _not _unhappy that he hadn't seen her. _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

_

* * *

_

**Letters**

One cold January day, Kel returned from her morning weapons practice with Lord Raoul to find a folded and sealed letter addressed to her lying on her desk. She smiled when she saw that Cleon must have given up trying to catch her alone again. As Kel had predicted, her brother Inness had dragged his squire off on a mission as soon as the Midwinter festivities were over. Still, Kel blushed as she read Cleon's words to her.

*************

_To Keladry, the Pearl of My Heart,_

_I miss you. My lips still remember the warmth of your kisses and I had hoped to speak with you before now to find out your answer to my question. Alas, Sir Inness is taking me on a short mission to Port Caynn and then up to Fief Mindelan before we go back to the Scanran border. Never fear, the thought of seeing your luminous face again will cheer my lonely soul until we meet again on the Progress. I shall pray to all the gods for your continued safety. _

_Forever Yours,_

_Cleon_

*************

Kel fought a sudden wave of panic as she realized that Cleon already expected her to agree to him courting her. Remembering her recent conversation with her mother, she knew her answer would have crushed the big redhead's spirits. There was no way she could decline his request or explain her reasons in a letter. Now Kel was extremely glad that Inness had found someplace else to be for the winter so that she wouldn't feel guilty. She placed Cleon's letter into a small metal case inside her desk for safekeeping; she would handle that problem later.

* * *

_During the festivities Kel thought of those squires who faced their Ordeals that year. Each night one of them held vigil; each morning one entered the Chamber at dawn._

_... That year ten of them entered the Chamber, three more than the holiday had nights._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

"Squire Keladry!" yelled a deep voice, "Over here!"

Kel looked around and saw a tall knight waving at her from across the practice court. Bowing to Qasim, she excused herself from their sword fighting drills and trotted over to the wooden fence.

"Sir Giles, congratulations!" Kel smiled up at the brand-new knight. "I saw your name on the list. Well done!"

"Thank you." The tall, blond Sir Giles of Meron bowed his head and then looked up with his friendly brown eyes. "It's good to be done with all that. Now I'm headed back to the desert - and warmth!"

Kel giggled. "When do you leave?" she asked. "Is Sir Khalid with you?"

"Sir Khalid and I are heading south in the morning," Giles pushed his shaggy hair out of his face and smiled crookedly at Kel. "I just wanted to stop by and show you that I made it through my Ordeal, that's all."

"There was never any doubt of you passing your Ordeal, Sir Giles," Kel said. "Best of luck to you in your assignment! I'm sure you'll do just fine." She smiled back at him and hoped her voice still sounded normal.

Kel felt her stomach do its funny flip-flop again as she watched the new knight wave goodbye and saunter away. Sir Giles was one of the nicest men she had met during her travels with the Own. The idea that he had searched for her and found her - something Cleon had not managed to do - before he departed Corus gave her goosebumps and she was glad her arms were covered by her padded practice clothes.

Off to the side of the practice yard, Raoul observed the brief interaction with interest. He glanced over at Qasim, who only shrugged. Then he saw the expression on Kel's face. Their time in the desert promised to be interesting.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

When Kel returned to her room, another letter was waiting for her on her desk. She picked it up and turned it over in her hands and saw that it was from Joren. She realized that this must be the first of his writing assignment letters to her and she braced herself for what she would find inside. Despite the inevitable misspellings and letter flips, Joren's words actually surprised her.

*************

_To Squire Kelardy of Mindilin_

_From Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

_At Nond House_

_Janaury 5, 457 H.E._

_Please don't show this to Lord Wlydon - it is four your eyes olny. I sent it fast and Sir Paxton did not see it. I'm having troubel writing about chivlry. Teh words are hard. Teh words cut deep. You know why. _

_You have a good nefew, but he is so smal. Your sister hats me, but Mero stoped her form glaring at me anymoor. Your perents are hear at Nond House, to. They don't like me but I understnad why. Stil, they are nice. I think your fahter understnads chivlry. _

_Teh words of teh riutal of knigthood are very powefrul. Moor powefrul then what you did to me in teh stabel. I want to talk to you about that when you and Lord Rauol come to jowst. Promis me that you wil brun this leter atfer you reed it. I wil write a beter won next week._

_Regrads,_

_Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

*************

Kel sat at her desk and held the letter in her hands for a long while. It never occurred to her that Joren would write a personal note to her. She had expected him to send her the obligatory academic assignment and nothing more. She could tell that he struggled to write it at all, but his final paragraph is what touched her heart and gave her shivers. Joren still thought about her kiss.

Kel ran her fingers over the words Joren had written once more before she kept the promise he asked her to keep. After thinking for a moment, she came up with a suitable plan. Kel used the document to play tug-of-war with the griffin and then she placed the damaged parchment in the flames of hearth.

* * *

_Third Company took to the road ... to escort the outgoing Tyran ambassador to his own border. They rode south on a trip Lerant mockingly described as "departing the land of snow and sleet for the land of rain and sleet."_

_... Third Company got ten days to recuperate before they escorted the new ambassador and his lady to Corus. Kel, seeing all of the goods in the Pearlmouth marketplaces, did some of her shopping for next Midwinter._

_-- Tamora Pierce, Squire_

* * *

Joren nervously opened the letter Sir Paxton handed to him. He had been hoping that Kel had understood his letter to her and that she had figured out a way to bypass Lord Wyldon for the first week's assignment. He barely was able to hide his grin as he quickly scanned the letter and then handed it to his knight-master to read. Joren was glad Kel was so smart.

*************

_To Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Squire __Keladry__ of __Mindelan_

_Pearlmouth, Southern Tortall_

_January__ 17, 457 H.E._

_First of all, I apologize for not being able to show your first composition about __chivalry__ to Lord __Wyldon__ before I left Corus on a mission with the King's Own. It's much warmer __here__ in Pearlmouth. Unfortunately, I had some __trouble__ with __the__ griffin and I ended up having to __burn the __letter __after the beast caused so much damage. I __promise__ I __will__ take __better__ care of __the__ next __one__ you send to me._

_On a __more__ personal note, I __still__ think your horse is just as __powerful__ as my horse or any other warhorse in __the __stable__; she's just not as ornery as Peachblossom. Perhaps we can continue our discussion about them when Lord __Raoul__ and I come down to __joust__ with you and Sir Paxton. _

_I __understand__ that my __parents__ truly enjoyed their visit to Nond House. Thank you for your kind words about my __nephew__. Yes, most babies are that __small__, but they grow quickly. I'm glad to hear that my sister Adalia has __stopped__ feeling poorly. She __hates__ to be ill, so I hope she won't fret over certain things __anymore__. _

_My __father__ was able to obtain a copy of __the __ritual__ of __knighthood __for__ me to keep, since __the __only __one__ I've ever seen belongs to Master Oakbridge. I __will__ be happy to __read__ your next __letter__ and I am sure it __will__ be a __better one __than __the first __one__, especially if you pay heed to __the__ words I have underlined __here;__ they are __the__ words you misspelled in your __letter__. _

_Best wishes for you in __the__ new year. _

_Regards__,_

_Squire __Keladry__ of __Mindelan_

*************

Sir Paxton looked up at Joren after he read Kel's return letter. "It appears that Squire Keladry is indeed a good tutor. She has underlined many words for you to concentrate on spelling correctly - including her name."

Joren turned red. "Yes sir, and Lord Wyldon's name, too. I will be more careful in the future."

"Be sure to show me your next letter before you send it," Paxton warned his squire. "I will not correct your mistakes; that is Squire Keladry's task. I just need to see how you are progressing, understand?"

After Joren endured a brief lesson on proper spelling and grammar, his knight-master excused him to go to weapons practice with the men-at-arms. Although he could imagine that Kel had enjoyed figuring out how to write such a clever letter, Joren felt much better with a sword in his hand instead of a quill. Perhaps he could become a decent writer someday, but for now he enjoyed his time sparring much better.

* * *

_In February after they returned to Corus, Third Company headed down the coast. They were accompanied by Baron George Cooper of Pirate's Swoop, a man people both pitied and looked down on for marrying Alanna the Lioness._

_... The baron had heard of pirates who spent the winter near a town called Bay Cove._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Lord Raoul was true to his word; Kel received Joren's next letter via courier after they had rounded up the pirates at Bay Cove. At first, Kel smiled as she noticed the somewhat-improved spelling, but then she became increasingly dismayed when she realized that Joren had written about a new topic.

*************

_To Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

_At Nond House_

_January 29, 457 H.E._

_I except your apology for the loss of my first letter. Hopefuly, you can show this one to Lord Wyldon before anything hapens to it. There is another book for you to get, too. Sir Paxton wants me to write about __The Rules of Courtly Love__, by Sir Andrew of Capellan, to prepear for my future betrothal. It's a very old book and I do not like it. Perhaps the palis libery will have a copy for you to borow. There are many rules so I will write about three or for of them at a time._

_The first rule is: "Marriage is no real excuse for not loving." If this rule is true then a lot of husbans and wifes are making a lot of excuses. I know many coupels who do not love each other but they are still married anyway. I was always told that the only point of marriage is to get leagel airs. I ges if a man is lucky, he will have love, too. _

_The second rule is: "He who is not jealous cannot love." I think this is true. Men always want other men to want what they have. If a man dosn't care that someone else wants his lady, that means he dosn't really love her. There is no point to loving a lady who no one else wants. _

_The third rule is: "No one can be bound by a double love." I do not understand this rule. Even if a man loves more than one lady, he can only be married to one at a time. Perhaps this rule is for the Cathrakis who can have many wifes. _

_The forth rule is: "It is well known that love is always increasing or decreasing." This is true. The more a man loves a lady, the more he wants to marry her. The les he loves a lady, the les he wants her. It is not good when the love of the man and the love of his lady is increasing and decreasing at oposit times. I have seen this. _

_When you find this book I think you'll agree that many of these rules are just silly and I don't want us to waist a lot of time writing coments about them. Please ask Lord Wyldon if there is a difrent book about chivalry to study. _

_Regards,_

_Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

*************

Kel stared at the title of newly added reference book. The topic of courtly love was the last thing she wanted to hear about from Joren. She vowed to do whatever she could to petition Lord Wyldon to replace this book as soon as she returned to Corus.

* * *

_There was a short, pitched fight, which Third Company won easily. Kel did little more than stand by Raoul, listening to the orders he gave and the reports he got. With pirates in tow, they sought the Port Legann magistrate. That meant another series of trials, another set of executions. More than once she wished there were a different way to handle murderers._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Joren opened the tent flap and stared up at the desert's velvety black sky. There seemed to be a thousand stars twinkling above him. He felt very, very small. In his hands he held two letters, one from his father and one from Kel. He had just finished reading them by the candlelight inside of his tent. Joren sighed as he made his way over to the camp fire and handed Sir Paxton the letter from Kel.

*************

_To Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_Port Legann, Western Tortall_

_February 9, 457 H.E._

_Your last letter was much improved over your first letter. I am glad that you were willing to __accept__ my apology. __Hopefully__, I will be able to __borrow__ a copy of the other book from the__ palace __library__. Unfortunately, it will be a while before that __happens__. The Own captured some pirates in Bay Cove and there are __four__ or more executions to witness prior to our departure._

_I have some questions about these rules. Are they only for __husbands__ and __wives__ who wish to have __legal __heirs__, or are they intended for betrothed __couples__ as well? My __guess__ is that they are for all noblemen in the Eastern Lands, but probably not the __Carthakis__. I suppose I agree with your __comments__ about the first through the __fourth__ rules, though I believe I have __less__ experience than you do. Perhaps you can show me the book when we come to the desert in March._

_You should be prepared to suggest other books if Lord Wyldon __doesn't__ have a __different__ book for you to study. Perhaps he will have the __opposite__ view; he might not think it is a __waste__ of time. Meanwhile, I will ask Lord Raoul if he has any suggestions._

_Regards,_

_Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

*************

Joren was a bit envious to see that Kel was traveling all over the country with the Own. He also was excited that Kel would be at their camp within the month. It was disappointing that she had not been able to talk to Lord Wyldon before she left Corus, so Joren decided he would ask the training master about a different book when he sent his next military training report. After all, there no longer was a reason for him to care about courtly love.

*************

_Joren,_

_I regret to inform you that your mother's health continues to decline. The healers believe that she may need to relocate to a warm, dry climate, such as Persopolis. My agents will travel there and search for a comfortable villa that I might purchase for her. _

_Additionally, the negotiations for your betrothal to the haMinch girl have failed. Apparently, the wench you paid to have kidnapped is the favored dressmaker of most of ladies of the Court, including the queen. It will be very difficult to negotiate any kind of decent match for you now. We will discuss your options the next time I see you. I am exceedingly disappointed in you._

_Burchard, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_January 30, 457 H.E._

*************

Earlier that day, Sir Giles had handed Joren a packet of paper scraps. The new knight barely hid his smile of amusement when he told the squire he had found the papers stuffed into every nook and cranny of the desk they had shared. Joren felt intensely embarrassed when he realized that Giles had read his horrible scribbles to Kel. Now he would burn every scrap, along with the letter from his father. Joren walked toward the fire pit with grim determination to carry out his tasks.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for being patient with me as I try new things. I hope you liked the chapter this way. Let me know what you think. Thanks again! :D**


	33. Balmy Desert Nights

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I'm glad so many of you enjoyed the letters in the previous chapter. I'll probably incorporate some more of them into a future chapter or two. I just can't seem to write a short chapter - so I think of this one as a huge filler. It's purpose is to get J & K to the same place at the same time. Thanks for your patience and thanks for continuing to read my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_In March they stayed with the Bazhir. Kel, Lerant, Dom, and some of the others raced against the Bazhir, though Kel seldom won. Hoshi was fast and strong, but she was no match for the dainty-boned Bazhir horses, called by their proud owners 'children of the wind.' Raoul gave her more jousting lessons, something that puzzled Bazhir men and amused Bazhir women. They would gather around Kel afterward to put balm on her bruises and tease her._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Balmy Desert Days**

The Own visited with several different tribes of the Bazhir as they made their way east from Port Legann and then south from Persopolis. Each tribe they stayed with welcomed them with feasting and celebrating. The Bazhir's hospitality was almost overwhelming, but there were practical reasons for the Own's visits, including census-taking and recruiting. Lord Raoul already had received a great number of applications from the young men of various Bazhir tribes.

The recreational horse races were fun, although Kel discovered that the desert sand provided just as much of a hard landing as dirt and sawdust for her 'flying lessons' with Lord Raoul. The girl squire was a bit of a novelty for the Bazhir, but she decided she didn't mind providing such interesting entertainment for her hosts. It had been a pleasant surprise to discover that the balm the Bazhir women applied to Kel's jousting bruises and sore spots was almost the same concoction as the potent bruise balm she had received as a gift from her secret benefactor long ago.

"You are not at all like the Woman Who Rides Like a Man," a Bazhir woman named Lailah remarked to Kel, who had taken one too many hard falls that day. "I have met her and she is very much smaller than you and it seems that you are not yet full grown." Lailah was helping the girl squire put on her shirt after applying the soothing balm to her back, shoulders and shield arm.

"I don't understand," said Kel, "Who is the Woman Who Rides Like a Man? I've never heard of such a person."

"I think you northerners call her ... the Lioness. She also was the Burning Brightly One and helped to defeat the evil in the Black City." Lailah saw the puzzled look on the girl squire's face and continued, "I grew up in the tents of the Bloody Hawk tribe before I married into my husband's tribe here, and we Bazhir adopted her. She even was our shaman for a time. What a wonder she is! She was the one who was loved by not one, but _two_ kings - even though she wore breeches like a man."

"No, I suppose we are not much alike, except for the breeches," Kel murmured when she realized that Sir Alanna was the person to whom Lailah was comparing her. "Actually, I've never met the ... Woman Who Rides Like a Man. And what do you mean by saying that two kings loved her?" Kel tied the laces of her shirt and tried not to wince at the pain.

"Do you not know the history of your own kind, lady squire?" Lailah gently tugged Kel's tunic over her shirt. The headman of the Sunset Dragon tribe was hosting a more formal feast this evening so Kel had to dress accordingly. "Well, the king still was the prince back then, but it did not matter because she married the King of the Thieves anyway."

"The King of the Thieves?" she asked. Now Kel was confused and a little indignant, "I have met the Lioness' husband and he's no thief. In fact, he's the Baron of Pirate's Swoop. We just came from being on a mission with him."

Lailah's eyes twinkled with amusement, "_Now_ he is a baron, but when I met him, he most definitely was the King of the Thieves. Theirs is a wonderful love story, but now it is time for you to serve your master. Perhaps he can tell you the rest of the story." Then she led Kel out of the tent toward the sounds of a great feast.

Kel pondered this amazing information as she walked along despite the lingering soreness of her jousting injuries. There were so many things she realized that she didn't know; and she decided to ask Lord Raoul about them when she had a chance. At that moment, Kel thanked all the gods for whatever magic they allowed the Bazhir shamans to put into the wonderful balm which allowed her to move at all.

* * *

Kel opened the tent flap and gazed across the desert to watch the sun's rays peeking above the mountains to the east. The previous evening, Lord Raoul and Third Company had arrived at the southeastern outpost now commanded by Sir Khalid al Jumah. Sir Paxton had relinquished command a few weeks earlier, but he and his squire were staying at the desert camp until it was time for them to go north for the King's Progress.

Kel walked around to the side of her tent, positioned her hands on her glaive and performed the pattern dances her body knew so well. Sir Paxton and Joren were out on patrol when the Own had arrived and had not returned to the camp before everyone had gone to sleep, so Kel had not yet seen her fellow squire. She was a little apprehensive about their eventual meeting, but decided she would tackle that problem after she finished her morning routine.

Half-way through her second pattern dance, Kel noticed someone moving next to a tent on the other side of the camp. She squinted into the morning light to see if she could determine what the person was doing and then her eyes widened in surprise. It was Joren and he seemed to be doing morning exercises of his own - except that his weapon of choice was a sword.

Kel stood there and watched the muscular blond squire as he performed a complex series of slashes and strikes, twirling the sword by its hilt. Even from far away, his movements looked smooth and fluid as he pivoted and sliced and whirled and struck at his imaginary foes. Kel was captivated by the sight as the blade flashed in the air and she did not hear her knight-master walk up behind her.

"He's quite good," Raoul remarked, startling Kel. "No wonder Wyldon wants to try to salvage him. It would be a shame to let all of his training go to waste."

"Um ... yes, my lord," Kel said. She turned to face her knight-master, hoping that her face wasn't too red. "I ... I should wash up now and get ready for the day, sir."

Raoul shook his head and chuckled. "No, no. Take your time. You've got to feed that beast of yours before you do anything else. His squawking was what woke me up in the first place."

"Sorry, my lord." Kel ducked her head, "I thought I'd be done by now."

"Yes, well ..." Raoul let his sentence trail off as he looked across the camp. "I suppose you're allowed to be distracted from time to time." He returned his attention to Kel, "Go on, take care of the little monster and then go have your own breakfast. We'll go see Sir Paxton and Squire Joren a bit later."

* * *

"Mornin' Kel," greeted Dom, as Kel entered the camp's mess tent. "You should try the flatbread - it's really good." He smiled at her as she brought her food tray over to the table. "Has your knight-master shown you where he plans to set up the jousting lanes?"

"Not yet," Kel scowled at Dom, even though her insides still melted at the sight of his sparkling blue eyes, "But I'm sure he's already figured out where to place them so that the maximum number of Bazhir will be able to observe my daily flights."

Dom laughed. "There _are_ other jousters here," he said. "Maybe you'll get a chance to be a spectator for a change."

Kel blinked. Dom was right. How could she have forgotten that part of the reason for them coming to this outpost was so that _Joren_ could have a few flying lessons, too? Now Kel smiled widely and bit into the warm flatbread drizzled with honey.

"Mmm ... this _is_ good," she said with her mouth full, "And you're right, I won't be the only entertainment this time, so I just might enjoy myself a bit." Kel was perplexed when she saw Dom's eyes grow cold and hard.

"Is this seat taken?" asked a familiar voice. "I promise I won't steal anything off of your tray - the cooks already fed me quite well this morning."

Kel willed herself to stay calm while Joren settled himself into the place next to her. Dom no longer was smiling; his lips were a thin line and Kel suddenly realized that she never had seen Neal's cousin look so serious. She prayed to the gods that there wouldn't be any trouble between the two blue-eyed men.

Prior to Third Company coming to the outpost, Raoul had warned the men that no one was to try to avenge the wrong that Squire Joren of Stone Mountain had done to Kel. There had been a bit of talk that since she was not allowed to challenge Joren herself, others might try to do so in her place. Kel was embarrassed by the men's loyalty to her and she was uncomfortable with their jests and jokes about pounding the arrogant squire for her. How would they react if they knew how she _really _felt about Joren?

"Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle, this is Squire Joren of Stone Mountain," Kel introduced them. "We ... we are ...colleagues." Kel was sending mental messages to Dom to stop staring at Joren as though he wanted to hurt him, but her normally-good-natured friend was ignoring her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sergeant Domitan," Joren nodded courteously, "Lord Raoul has mentioned to me that you might be a good sparring partner for me."

"Did he?" Dom raised his eyebrows, "Then I shall look forward to meeting you in the practice yard tomorrow morning. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must see to my men." Dom got up from the table, nodded curtly at Joren and gave Kel a peculiar look, almost as if he was warning her to be careful. Then he walked out of the mess tent without looking back.

Kel and Joren sat there next to each other for a moment, neither of them wanting to speak first. Kel knew that most of the men of the Own probably would react to Joren in much the same way as Dom did. And who could blame them for feeling such animosity toward the man who had hurt her? She had intended to sigh inwardly, but the breathy, wistful sound escaped through her lips. Joren looked at Kel with an unreadable expression and got up from the table.

"Lord Raoul said that I should give you a quick tour of the camp and then bring you to Sir Paxton's tent." His sky-blue eyes held contact with Kel's hazel eyes. "They want to discuss what our schedule will be while you're here. Are you almost done with your breakfast?"

Kel had lost her appetite when she saw Dom's barely concealed contempt for Joren, so she got up from the table, brushed the crumbs off of her breeches, and declared that she was ready to go. She followed him out into the bright sunlight. He immediately started to point out to her which tent was the infirmary and which tent housed the clerks and so on around the camp.

Joren still was the most gorgeous male Kel had ever seen and she braced herself against feeling awkward whenever he looked at her. She wished he didn't look so nice in his white shirt and tan breeches. Although both squires appeared to be concentrating on the tour of the camp, they both knew that there was unfinished business between them that they would have to deal with sooner or later.

* * *

"Ah, Squire Joren, I see you found my squire," Raoul said cheerfully when Joren led Kel into Sir Paxton's tent, "Have you completed your tour already?"

"Yes sir," Joren admitted, "There really isn't that much to see. I thought perhaps we could take the horses out for a ride in the afternoon and show you the areas we patrol."

"Yes, of course," Raoul nodded, "That will be very good. Now, about the schedule; Sir Paxton and I have a bit of a dilemma."

Paxton cleared his throat, "It seems that Lord Wyldon does not share my brother's high opinion of the book he chose for your additional writing assignments. Therefore, for the time being, you shall concentrate your compositions solely on the ritual of knighthood."

"Honestly," Raoul was chuckling now, "He sent a message to Paxton stating that the reason the book about courtly love is no longer part of the curriculum for the squires - as it was when we older knights came through - is that it caused too many arguments and debates. I certainly remember some spectacular fights over a few of the rules, especially whenever the new ladies were presented to the Court. What a mess!"

"Yes, well, that ought to make you happy, Joren," Paxton looked at him, "I know you didn't care for the book in the first place." Then he turned to Kel and asked her what she thought of the book.

"I've never read it, sir," Kel admitted. "I only know the few rules that Squire Joren wrote about. We were already on the road when the new writing assignment came in, but I had planned on obtaining a copy from the palace library when we returned to Corus."

"Don't bother." Paxton told her, "My squire can show you what you missed, but as of now, you're done with it. Let's move on to the business at hand."

When they were finished writing out the details, the knight-masters gave each squire a copy of the training schedule for the week. Each morning after breakfast, Joren would join the men of the Own for weapons practice. Both the knight-masters and their squires would hold a daily meeting prior to lunch to discuss the previous day's training. After that, Joren would write a composition which Kel would read and correct every other day after lunch. In the late afternoon, there would be jousting. Both squires left the tent extremely happy that the Own would be staying at the camp for only one week.

* * *

Kel tipped the ladle from the water barrel and let the cool refreshing liquid run down her face and neck. Then she gulped down another ladle full of water and wiped the sweat from her forehead. It was only midmorning, but the bright sun already beat down on them mercilessly.

Kel had finished her weapons practice with Qasim and stayed to watch other combatants who were still out in the sandy practice yard. One set of swordfighters was as interesting to her as they were to the small crowd of Bazhir lads on the other side of the rope fence. Even though their weapons were made of wood, the fighting was quite intense.

The taller, dark-haired swordsman had powerful moves. The bare skin of his well-muscled torso had a bronze tint to it from the amount of time he had spent in the sun without wearing a shirt. Kel had almost grown accustomed to the way her insides reacted to his handsome features, especially his bright smile and sparkling sapphire eyes.

The other swordsman was slightly shorter, but he looked just as strong and perhaps a bit more agile than his opponent. He had much fairer skin and wore his shoulder-length white-blond hair pulled back into a horsetail. Kel had seen both intense hatred and startling warmth from the shorter fighter's sky-blue eyes. She blushed when she realized that ladies all over the realm would love to see the scene unfolding before her.

"So ... how much of a wager did you put down?" The slightly mocking voice from behind Kel irritated her. "Dom looked like he had the advantage at first, but Stone Mountain has some surprisingly good moves. It would be too bad if you lost a lot of money." His concern for her purse did not sound sincere.

"No bets for me, Lerant." Kel looked at Lerant, more irritated by his question. "I'm just ... watching the match, that's all."

"Right." Lerant didn't sound convinced. "The way you've been staring at those two all morning, it's a wonder Qasim didn't knock your head off with his staff. So ... how about a friendly little wager, just between us?"

Kel turned to face the standard bearer and handed him a dipper full of water. "Here, the sun has baked your brains. You know I don't place bets like that. They're such a terrible waste of good money!"

"Alright, then." Lerant held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "No money ... if Dom wins ... you can take care of Lord Raoul's gear as usual during the jousts. If Stone Mountain wins, I get to do it instead."

Kel considered the offer. She and the jealous Lerant still weren't the best of friends, but they had figured out a fairly decent division of duties for serving their commander. Kel knew the standard bearer tried to usurp her position occasionally, but she bore him no malice. She decided it wouldn't hurt to be more accommodating to Lerant this time, so she stuck out her hand and they shook on it.

Two minutes later, Joren performed an intricate twist and sweeping arc which sent Dom's practice blade flying into the sand. Kel was shocked when Lerant laughed and told her to look at the bright side - she hadn't lost any money on their bet _and_ she'd be able to sit back and watch Raoul get his own revenge on the blond squire. His comment disturbed Kel so much that she went to Raoul before they headed out to the makeshift jousting lanes.

"My lord, may I have a word?" Kel called to Raoul through the flap that separated her part of the tent from his. "It's about ... this afternoon's jousting lessons ... with Squire Joren."

"Come on in so you can talk to me." Raoul ushered her in and told her to have a seat while he finished putting on his padded practice clothes. "What's on your mind? Do you have some last-minute pointers for me? His dark eyes twinkled at his joke.

"No, sir," Kel swallowed. "I just want to make sure ... that this ... that this isn't revenge. I know you and Sir Paxton said this would help Joren, and you told the men not to fight him for my sake, but I--"

"Kel, you should know me better than that by now." Raoul gently chided his squire. "I don't need to take any revenge. This is training - pure and simple. I promise I will hit Squire Joren just the same way I hit you or anybody else. Whether he takes it as well as you do is another matter. Now, let's go and have some fun, shall we?"

Kel smiled sheepishly. "Yes sir." She was somewhat ashamed of herself for even suspecting Raoul's motives and it was a great relief to know that her knight-master would behave honorably. She only hoped that Joren would do likewise as she followed Raoul out to the jousting lanes.

* * *

Kel had to admit to herself that she was impressed by Joren's performance against Lord Raoul. She had grown accustomed to Raoul's side-numbing lance strikes, as much as she had become adept at flying through the air when he popped her out of her saddle. It was interesting to watch her knight-master joust against someone else for a change.

Joren, despite his professed lack of skill, managed to stay upright in his saddle for two of the four hard hits he received. His lances shattered on the first and third runs. However, on his second flight, Joren fell the wrong way. Everyone winced when they saw his body slam into the sand so hard.

Sir Paxton trotted over and checked Joren as he lay there, gasping for air. The knight helped him to stand upright and signaled to Raoul that the squire was done for the day. Then Paxton escorted a woozy Joren to the camp healer and excused him from any other duties for the rest of the day. No one was surprised when Joren did not show up for supper that evening.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next day, while Raoul was pouring over the applications of several young Bazhir men who hoped to join the Own, Kel finished her workout and realized that she hadn't seen Joren out and about all morning. When she asked a Bazhir serving boy if he had seen Sir Paxton's squire, the lad nodded his head and pointed to a tent near the edge of the camp. Then he smiled mischievously and told her that he had delivered a tray of fruit and water to Squire Joren, but the man only lay there, moaning and groaning in pain.

Kel remembered back to her first time of jousting against Lord Raoul and she had a good idea about what had happened to Joren. She thought about the terrible bruises she'd received. That's why she knew what Joren probably was going through; and he did _not_ have the luxury of soaking in a large tub of hot water at a bath house. Kel went back to her tent, retrieved her special balm and set out to find the hurt squire.

Preparing herself for whatever foul mood Joren most likely would be in; Kel entered his tent and found him lying on his cot with one arm draped over his eyes. He wasn't wearing a shirt and his lightweight covers were turned down to his waist. Even in the hazy light, Kel could see the colorful bruises all over his torso that she'd known she would find.

"Joren? Are you alright?" she asked quietly. "One of the Bazhir lads said that you seemed to be in a lot of pain when he brought you something to eat."

"I'm ... fine," Joren lied through his clenched teeth. "Nothing to worry about ... just some aches and bruises."

Kel bit back a smile, "We missed you at morning practice. Are you able to move around at all? "

"I told you ... _I'm fine_." Joren replied. "I'm just ... resting. Sir Paxton told me to take my time - so that's what I'm doing. Satisfied?"

"What about your arm?" Kel continued her inquiry as she stood next to his cot. "I can't see your eyes. Can you wave at me or something? Just so I know you're really alright?"

"What are you - a healer now, too?" Joren complained. "Kel, I'm not one of your birds or some pathetic stray dog or lost griffin. You don't have to try to take care of me. Just ... leave me alone."

Kel ignored him and when she jostled his cot, Joren cried out in pain. "Hmm ... that's what I thought. The camp healer really should come back and take a look at you."

"He already did, thank you very much," Joren growled, "Nothing's broken - it's only bruises. Really big bruises, courtesy of your knight-master. I think he's out to get me for my past crimes against you. Everybody probably had a good laugh about it, too. Now, go away."

Kel knelt down next to the cot and took out the jar she had brought with her. She remembered that Neal had commented on the magical nature of the balm when they were pages. Lailah had said that Bazhir shamans infused the special herbal mixture with powerful healing magic. Now Kel took the time to apply the pungent-smelling balm to Joren's bruises.

Joren flinched at Kel's touch. His mind was a jumble of crazy, mixed-up thoughts. He remembered a rare scene from his early childhood when he watched his mother tend to his father's injuries after some sort of tournament. For a girl who claimed not to want to be a regular lady, he thought, Keladry of Mindelan was doing exactly what ladies had done for their lords throughout the ages.

Another thought that crossed Joren's mind was that Kel's touch was the first time in well over a year that any female had touched him with any level of tenderness. He also remembered a recent, embarrassing dream he had had and this all seemed suddenly and horribly familiar to him. A fine sheen of perspiration broke out on Joren's face as he now fought to maintain self-control.

While she gently dabbed the herbal mixture on every one of his bruises, Kel told Joren that it he should be able to sense an easing of the pain quite soon. He might not be able to fight right away, but at least he'd be able to get up and walk off some of the soreness. She was oblivious to the riot of thoughts going on in his mind. Additionally, Kel knew that the balm would feel cold at first, so she ignored her 'patient's' flinching.

"You know," Kel chattered pleasantly while she worked, "this is the best thing for your bruises. I use it all the time, but I have another jar of it, so I'll leave the rest of this one here with you."

Lost in her thoughts and concentrating on her task, Kel hadn't noticed that Joren's pulse was getting faster and that his breathing was becoming more ragged. She was trying not to notice the solid ripple of Joren's abdominal muscles or the way that the fine hairs on his chest were almost invisible against his skin. When Kel reached across to apply the balm to a large, ugly-looking purple bruise that stretched down his left side, the edge of her shirt brushed against Joren's face.

Joren gasped. "Kel ... _please,_" his voice sounded very strained. "Please stop touching me."

"Don't be such a baby," Kel chided, "I'm almost finished."

"So ...am .... I," Joren growled at her through clenched teeth. "Now ... stop it!"

The tone of Joren's voice finally made Kel lift her hand away from him. She turned to face him and saw that beads of sweat were rolling down his face. He was staring at her very intently.

It was strange to Kel how the tent seemed to be ten times smaller than it had been the moment before. She became aware of her own quickened pulse and the odd way that she now felt. She bit her lower lip and smiled weakly at Joren.

Even in the hazy, filtered light of the tent, Joren could see the greenness of Kel's hazel eyes. Very slowly, as if in a trance, Kel drifted toward Joren's face and his feverish blue eyes. They both held their breath as Kel moved closer to press her lips to Joren's lips.

"Hey, Sir Giles!" Raoul's voice sounded nearby, "Have you seen my squire? One of the young lads said she came over this way. Which one is Squire Joren's tent?"

Kel's head jerked up before she made contact with Joren. Her sharp intake of breath sounded so loud to her own ears that she was certain her knight-master had heard her through the canvas. She looked around for an escape route and was dismayed when she realized that there was only one way out of Joren's tent. Finally, she saw a small book on Joren's field desk, snatched it up and was flipping through it when Raoul stuck his head through the tent flap.

"Ah, there you are, Kel. Hah! I see you've discovered the offending book." said Raoul cheerfully and then he saw Joren, still lying there on his cot. "Squire Joren, are you alright?

"The healer said that nothing is broken," Joren answered, "But my body is one solid bruise, sir. Squire Keladry was kind enough to fetch some of the Bazhir balm for me. I never knew this sort of thing existed."

"Yes ... bruise balm," Raoul nodded and looked at Kel who was still holding the book in her hands. "I thought I recognized that smell."

"You know, sir," Kel tried to sound casual. "The Bazhir ladies have been rubbing balm all over me since we came to the desert. I can't believe our own army healers don't have this in their supplies."

"Well, the Bazhir have a different kind of magic than that of our healers," Raoul stated, "So stock up on this balm while you can, because you're right - you won't be able to get any up north. Anyway, I'm glad both of you are here. Kel, please let Sir Paxton know that I think it would be best if we held our daily meeting in his squire's tent. And leave the tent flap open so this place can air out - it's a bit too balmy in here."

* * *

**A/N: Well ... what do you think? Like I said, it's sort of a giant filler chapter. Please R & R. Thanks! :D**


	34. Unfinished Business

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Happy Groundhog Day! (For those of you who aren't familiar with this quaint American tradition - don't worry about it.) I enjoyed watching the 1993 Bill Murray movie 'Groundhog Day' for the hundredth time today and laughed a lot. ^_^ I know some of you readers might not have been born when this film came out, but you should see it - it's very cute. I even used its main gimmick as a plot device in my other long K/J story, 'Redemption.' Anyway ... K & J are still in the desert and this story keeps getting longer and longer. ;D I guess that just means there'll be more for you to read! Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Raoul sat at his camp table with a pitcher of juice and two cups. He motioned to the second chair. Obediently Kel sat._

_For a long moment Raoul scratched Jump's ear. At last he said, "I hear this from women of the Queen's Riders, the ones who want to command. Men who join the Riders are able to fight alongside females, or they don't last. But what the women say is that if they take Rider men as lovers, and it's found out, they encounter trouble. Men who dislike their orders offer to work it out in bed. Jealousies spring up, particularly if the woman and the man are in the same Rider group. If the woman is in command and the man isn't, they're both mocked by other men, and the woman gets treated like a trollop."_

_Kel looked down. "Sir--"_

_"Nobody makes men surrender private life when they take up arms, Kel," Raoul said, filling their cups. "We only ask that such lives happen off duty. It's more complicated for women. It's not fair, but I think you already know the world isn't."_

_Kel nodded, sipping grape juice. How many knight-masters would have done this differently, even hurtfully? How many would have said nothing until Kel was so deeply in a mess that she would never get out of it? Only Raoul would treat it as another lesson in the intricacies of command. _

_"I understand, sir," Kel told him. "I do know there could be problems."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Unfinished Business**

"Problems?" Raoul chuckled and shook his head. "Kel, you have a gift for understatement. To say that there could be problems is like saying that handling the baby griffin could be difficult. Now, help me understand this ... _exactly_ what's been going on between you and Squire Joren? And don't tell me any tales about just trying to help a fallen comrade or some such nonsense. I wasn't born yesterday; I know what I saw."

Kel sighed. She didn't want to look at her knight-master, but she knew she had to. Raoul had not said a word to her after their brief meeting with Joren and Sir Paxton, except to let her know that they would have a discussion when they got back to their tents. She felt so embarrassed that she wished she could disappear into the sand.

"I ... I really did ... go to Squire Joren's tent just to help him, sir," Kel looked directly at Raoul, "I knew he'd have the same kind of bruises I had after the first time you jousted with me. When he didn't come to the practice yard this morning, I realized he must have been in worse shape than anyone thought."

"So ... you decided to ... rub balm all over Squire Joren, in the same way that the Bazhir ladies have done to you." Raoul remarked dryly, "How nice of you to overlook the fact that your 'patient' is the same person I had to warn all of Third Company not to try to kill upon our arrival here."

"I'm sorry, my lord." Kel hung her head shamefacedly. "I probably should have gotten one of the Bazhir healers to tend to him. I ... I didn't give it much thought, I just wanted to hel--"

"Help him. Yes, I know." Raoul interrupted her. "You'll need to be careful about the strays and loners you choose to assist, Kel. Fellows like Jump here," and he scratched the dog behind its ears, "can become your loyal friends for life, whereas creatures like the griffin would just as soon bite off your healing hands as accept food from them. The question you have to ask yourself is this: which one is Joren most like?"

Kel blinked. She had never thought about her relationship with Joren in such a manner. Was he more like Jump, or was he more like the griffin? Her heart sank because she knew the answer to that question. Despite the way he made her pulse race, or the way he explained his underlying motives for the bad things he had done, Joren had done more harm than good to Kel since the day they had met.

Another thought popped into Kel's mind at that moment. Joren never had sought her help; it always had been forced upon him - the study sessions, the long-distance tutoring, and even her tending to his bruises. Not once had Joren indicated that he wanted any sort of assistance from her. The only thing Joren had asked of Kel was the only thing she wouldn't do for him or anyone else: leave palace training and become a regular lady.

Raoul watched Kel's face as she thought about what he had said concerning the nature of her ties to Joren. He knew that his young lady squire's relationship with the handsome blond squire was not what it seemed to be on the outside. There was far more to it than the arrogant son of a conservative lord harassing the strong-willed daughter of a diplomat.

"Sir, I wish I could understand it myself." Kel looked at Raoul. "Joren was the only volunteer to be my page-sponsor and we've had a ... difficult time over the years. But when he became a squire, he said he wanted a fresh start. I thought we were ... good friends, before ... before Lalasa's kidnapping. The biggest problem was that he ... he always wanted me to leave and become a ... a regular lady. Joren says he ... likes me better that way. And despite everything that happened at the trial, I have reason to believe that he wants to be ... friends again, even though I'm a squire now, too."

"Has he kissed you?" Raoul asked bluntly.

Kel felt her face become redder and she nodded. "Um ... not today, sir, but ... um ... well, yes. And I ... I almost k-kissed him, but ... you came along right when ... um ..."

"I see." Raoul's mouth twitched in an effort not to show his amusement at his normally-steady squire's stammering, "You know, Kel, all three of us - Lord Wyldon and Sir Paxton and I - heard you slap Joren's cheek when we met in Lord Wyldon's office. We couldn't tell what else happened out there, but when I saw the smug look on Squire Joren's face, and the puffiness of your lips, I figured it was something like that."

Kel gasped and her fingertips involuntarily flew to her lips. Lord Raoul had guessed correctly about that incident? Did that mean that the other men knew about it, too? She quickly withdrew her hand and placed it back in her lap. Once again, she wished she could just melt away into the sand.

"Don't fret, Kel," Raoul smiled. "I doubt that the training master or Joren's knight-master had the same thoughts; they're not as suspicious as I am. But that's only because they haven't had the opportunity to observe you interact with such men as, say, Domitan of Masbolle or Giles of Meron. Your 'Yamani mask' is quite good at hiding most of your emotions, but I've made it my business to study people, especially those closest to me. You, my dear squire, _will_ have choices other than Joren of Stone Mountain when it comes to your future suitors or lovers - if you want them."

"But ... my lord ... that's the thing," Kel explained with a pained expression on her face, "Even though I ... care for Joren, I don't know if I really want ... _suitors or lovers_. At least, not yet. More than anything else, I want my shield. My mother and I spoke at Midwinter, because ... someone else asked to ... to court me, so she knows about ... all of this. Mithros! Sir, I ... this is so ... embarrassing! How did _you_ know about me and ... and ... Joren?"

"The truth is ... I _saw_ you enter Squire Joren's tent," Raoul admitted sheepishly, "I wondered where you were hurrying off to and when you didn't come right back out, I started to ... worry just a bit. Sir Giles had just come out of his tent so I called to him - that way, I figured you'd realize I was nearby. Then I entered the tent and you were standing there, flipping through that book." Raoul paused to take a sip of his juice and then smiled mischievously at Kel. "But you were holding it upside down and I could tell that you were somewhat distressed. I've also never seen you looking so ... guilty. And as for Joren, well, I don't think we really need to talk about his obvious discomfort at that moment. Kel, honestly, do you _really_ care for him that much?"

Kel remembered her long conversation with her mother and sighed. "It's complicated, sir. It's ... it's almost like the way I feel about the king - I _want_ him to be different. He can be so charming and ... and nice sometimes. I want to be able to like him and to trust him, but I ... I don't know if that's truly possible. Joren ... confuses me."

"I've seen people fail miserably when they try to change others to be more to their liking," Raoul held her gaze. "Kel, do you remember when you asked me all those questions about the past 'adventures' of Alanna and Jon and George?"

Kel nodded. When she had asked him to explain what Lailah had said about the Woman Who Rides Like a Man being loved by two kings, Raoul almost choked on his juice. He'd told her he would tell her about it sometime later, but he had not yet found the right time to delve into the past. Now, apparently, the time was right.

"Well," he sighed, "The ballads that the bards sing these days just don't tell the whole story - and that's not necessarily a bad thing. You youngsters have heard only the exciting legends and fancy tales of Alanna's great feats. Thankfully, the bawdy songs of the past have gone out of style and favor. At least, that's the only reason I can think of for you not already knowing these things I'm about to tell you."

"Sir, you don't have to--" Kel began to say; no longer sure she wanted to hear anything that might be negative about her hero, the Lioness.

"Oh, yes I do," Raoul asserted firmly. "Why do you think I was able to figure out that _something_ was going on between you and young Stone Mountain?"

"You're very observant, my lord," Kel shrugged. "Just like you said."

Raoul ran his fingers through his dark hair. "Kel, part of the reason I'm so observant today is that I felt completely pole-axed when I found out that one of my best friends was a girl - a woman, actually. Alanna had lived as 'Alan' among us men for so long that the only thing I can say in defense of my own denseness is that I saw what I wanted to see. After that, I vowed never again to take anything or anyone at face value, but always to look deeper. Jon, the king, failed to acknowledge and accept that his Lioness did not _want_ to be the queen. He should have known; when we were young, Squire 'Alan' hated social events even more than I did. She was horribly angry - and rightly so - that Jon assumed she would be eager to give up everything she had worked so hard for and become his queen. George, on the other hand, always had accepted everything about Alanna - from her short hair to her short temper. Maybe it helped that he was common-born and never had a whiff of pretentiousness about him. Anyway, Alanna fixed Jon by finding Thayet and bringing _her_ back to become his queen."

"The ballads do mention that part of the story," Kel interjected. "That's the most romantic story in all of the Eastern Lands."

"Yes, well, they no longer seem to mention the fact that when I found them and escorted them back to Tortall, Alanna was in the company of a different man, Liam Ironarm, the Shang Dragon." Raoul shook his head. "_That_ put both Jon and George in their places. I don't want your high opinion of Alanna to wane, but I think it's helpful for you to see your heroes as real people and not just fanciful legends. Alanna the Lioness forged her own path, much of it the hard way, just as you'll have to forge your path, Kel."

"What should I do, my lord?" Kel asked earnestly. "The king and his queen and the champion and her husband all seem happy these days. And yet, from what you just told me, that wasn't always so. I really want to know what you think I should do next, sir."

"Follow your heart, Kel." Raoul said decisively. "Earn your shield first. I can - and I will - help you do that much. That's the mission I accepted when I chose you to be my squire. I have faith that you will become a fine knight and a commander, even - if I have any say in the matter."

"Thank you, sir," Kel nodded once, grateful for his sound advice and confidence in her ability to become a knight, "First, I have to earn my shield. After that ... well, I suppose I'll just wait and see what the gods have planned for me."

Raoul considered his squire for a moment and then said, "I'm not your father, Kel, but I'd be happy to figure out a plan to keep the suitors at an arm's length until you're a full knight. Think about it and let me know what you decide."

The seriousness of the moment was ruined when Kel's stomach growled loudly. She giggled and Raoul laughed aloud.

"Mithros! I guess it's time for lunch." Raoul quipped. "Okay, let's talk about this afternoon's jousting and then we'll go. I'm now considering letting this be a rest day for Squire Joren; I'm not so sure that either one of you can stand any more bruise balm today."

* * *

After Lord Raoul and Kel left Joren's tent, Joren followed Sir Paxton back to his knight-master's tent. They reviewed Joren's reports from his recent patrols and Paxton made comments on them. Then they had a little chat, too.

"Joren, why didn't you tell me it was this bad?" Paxton asked worriedly as he watched Joren walk stiffly over to his desk. "I would have sent the healer back again to do something about your pain. Your ribs must be badly bruised. Looking at you now, I don't know that it would be wise for you to ride again this afternoon."

"I'm sorry, sir," Joren apologized, realizing that his actions, or lack thereof, made his knight-master seem cruel and uncaring. "I thought ... I thought I'd get better on my own - that it would just take some time."

"Well, it's a good thing Squire Keladry knew what to do," Paxton said dryly, "She's probably had more experience with that bruise balm than anybody, especially since she jousts with Lord Raoul every day."

"Every day?" Joren blinked. "She ... she gets slammed like that ... every day?" He hoped his knight-master wouldn't think that he was ridiculing their few times of jousting - neither of them enjoyed working with the lance.

Paxton nodded and Joren was silent for a while as he recalled the force of the knight commander's blows. Kel endured this torture _every day_? There was no way Joren thought he could joust against Lord Raoul all the time and be able to walk away relatively unscathed - the way Kel seemed to be able to do. Once again the blond squire thought, _Why can't she just be a regular lady?_

"That's what Lord Raoul told me, anyway." Paxton shrugged. "He's hoping that Squire Keladry will be ready for the tournaments during the Progress. Speaking of which, I've been meaning to ask you about competing in the sword fighting contests. I think you'll do quite well."

"Yes, sir, I would like to do that." Joren replied. "I just ... prefer ... not to joust." He winced when he sat down.

"That's understandable," Paxton chuckled. "But you must be ready for any type of challenge, Joren. You won't always get to pick your favorite weapon during a fight. Come now, it's time for lunch. You must be starving." Paxton stood up and motioned for his squire to follow him.

Joren sighed inwardly. He was very hungry, but it had taken a lot of painful effort for him to sit in the chair, and now he had to get right back up again. Additionally, he wasn't looking forward to seeing Kel in the dining tent. Facing her again so soon promised to be awkward at best. He knew that she had been poised to kiss him when her knight-master found them together. Joren also knew that Kel knew that he knew what she'd almost done.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Raoul sent Kel to Sir Paxton's tent to give him the message that Joren didn't have to joust that day if he was still in a lot of pain. She was taking a shortcut between the tents when someone behind her grabbed her wrist. Her training and instincts kicked in and she immediately clamped down on her attacker's hand with her other hand, pivoted and flipped him over her side.

"Aagh! Ow! Great Mother Goddess!" Joren lay sprawled on the sand in front of Kel, groaning in pain. "What'd do that for, Kel?" He felt along his ribcage to make sure nothing was broken this time.

Kel glared down at him. "Are you insane?" She hissed. "You ought to know better than to try that with me. What were you thinking?" Her hands were on her hips in a classic scolding stance.

"I was only _trying_," Joren breathed in and winced when he pushed himself up on his elbow," ... to get your attention ... but you were ... moving so fast. I didn't think--"

"That's right, you _didn't_ think," Kel was just as annoyed at herself as she was with him and she extended her hand to Joren to help him stand up. "Come on, Joren, we learned about defensive tactics against sneak attacks back when we were first-year pages. And you ought to know me well enough by now that you wouldn't think to come at me that way."

Joren stared at her hand for a long moment before he reached out to take it. Kel pulled him up off the ground and he took advantage of his forward momentum to close the gap between them. Joren wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulled her tightly against him and kissed her fiercely.

Kel hesitated for a half-second and then returned his kisses with just as much intensity. In her muddled mind, she wanted the moment to go on forever; unfortunately, this was the conclusion of their unfinished business. It was the hardest thing in the world for her to do, but Kel brought her hands up to Joren's solid chest and pushed him away.

"Ow! Gods, Kel!" Joren's bruises protested against such rough treatment. "That hurt ... a lot." His breathing was ragged, but he smiled when he saw that hers was, too.

"Good." Kel breathed, "I mean ... if you're still in a lot of pain, you don't have to joust this afternoon. That's what this message says." She pulled the folded parchment out of her pocket and waived it front of him. "I was in a hurry to deliver it because Lord Raoul didn't want you to start preparing when there's no need for that. It'll just be me jousting against my lord today."

Joren took a step toward Kel and she shook her head as she took a step backward. She marveled at the way his eyes matched the bright blue sky above them. He could see that her hazel eyes were very, very green and his crooked grin became wolfish. She noticed his smile and gulped. Kel truly wished that kissing Joren hadn't felt so incredible, but she squared her shoulders and stuck to her decision, even though every fiber of her being was screaming at her to embrace him again.

"No, Joren," Kel said firmly and kept walking backward slowly, keeping her gaze locked with his. "I ... I will _not _be distracted. Not by you, not by anybody. I'm going to earn my shield, first." She held up her index finger and gestured for him to stay put. "You can ... you can come to me when ... when I'm a knight. Until then, I'll be your ... your _comrade_, but nothing more." Then Kel turned away from Joren and hurried out into the open area of the camp to complete her mission.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! I've written over 120,000 words and y'all have written over 450 reviews! =D I am truly humbled by your responses to my story so far. You encourage me to keep writing and you motivate me to update quickly. You're awesome! :D**

**I appreciate all of your reviews, including the ones for the previous two chapters from: confuzzled lil phoenix, P.R.M.A.S., abyssgirl, Kari of Mindelan, BookWorm37, LarkaSpirit, LJane, spazzysassyangel, Sarah7191, Mrs. Nicholas Jonas teehee, pyrena93, Faia Sakura, elf warrior princess, SpaceHead3, JorensxGirl3, Enno Vy, crazylittlefox, Gigi, Imperfectionist ;D, SamAnnette, Ybs, Killer Zebra, jo, s. phoenix, Eskimo680, and anyone else who reads the story but doesn't have time to send a review. **

**I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Here are some general answers to some of your recent review comments and questions: Yes, Giles of Meron will 'stir the pot' and provide a little competition for Joren and the others. No, there won't be any hidden messages in future letters (too much work!). Yes, Kel will deal with Cleon soon enough. No, Raoul obviously isn't clueless. Yes, I love the original SotL characters, especially George (I think he's perfect for Alanna). Yes, there will be more fluff in the future. Cliffies and fillers can be fun! ;D **

**Keep reading and reviewing! Thanks so much!! :D**


	35. Distractions

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long for me to update! I've been helping my son with his auditions and application packets for high school specialty programs. He's quite talented, if I do say so myself. ^_^ So ... rehearsing lines and reading over portfolio submissions have consumed my life over the past week, and I'm just now getting back to my keyboard. Thanks for being patient. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Joren took a step toward Kel and she shook her head as she took a step backward. She marveled at the way his eyes matched the bright blue sky above them. He could see that her hazel eyes were very, very green and his crooked grin became wolfish. She noticed his smile and gulped. Kel truly wished that kissing Joren hadn't felt so incredible, but she squared her shoulders and stuck to her decision, even though every fiber of her being was screaming at her to embrace him again._

_"No, Joren," Kel said firmly and kept walking backward slowly, keeping her gaze locked with his. "I ... I will not be distracted. Not by you, not by anybody. I'm going to earn my shield, first." She held up her index finger and gestured for him to stay put. "You can ... you can come to me when ... when I'm a knight. Until then, I'll be your ... colleague, but nothing more." Then Kel turned away from Joren and hurried out into the open area of the camp to complete her mission._

* * *

**Distractions**

Most mornings at the desert camp, Lord Raoul practiced his sword fighting skills with Sir Khalid first and then he walked around the practice yard looking for his next opponent. Usually, he would just find Kel and test her skills with a variety of weapons, but this morning she and Qasim still were fencing and he didn't want to interrupt their match. A few minutes later, he spotted the perfect 'victim' and walked up behind Sir Paxton's squire, who was just shrugging into his padded practice clothes.

Joren had arrived at the practice yard a bit later than everyone else and he was in a foul mood. When Sir Paxton discovered that the squire's writing assignment wasn't ready for the weekly review, he coldly interrupted Joren's breakfast and sent him back to his tent to work on it, but he still wasn't finished. He'd already written over half of the letter prior to the Own's arrival at the camp, but then he'd procrastinated its completion because he couldn't think of anything good enough to write after the incident with the Kel and the bruise balm. Now, Joren felt a chill as Raoul's large shadow blocked out the sun behind him.

"I'll be happy to fence with you, Squire Joren," Raoul said amiably as he clapped the younger man on the shoulder. "This won't be nearly as bad as the jousting - probably."

Joren forced himself to stay calm as he turned to face Raoul. For a moment, he wondered if Kel had said anything about their kiss from the previous day. It was difficult to read Raoul's expression because the sun was directly behind him and Joren had to shield his eyes. No matter what the knight said, the squire knew he was outclassed and outmatched, but he also knew he'd better not refuse.

"Certainly, my lord," Joren replied and bowed to the knight commander. "I'm almost ready."

Joren smiled politely as he gathered his white-blond hair into a tight horse-tail at the back of his head and fastened it with a length of leather cord. Then he casually glanced around the practice yard until he spotted Kel. Why wasn't her knight-master bothering her instead of him? Usually, _she_ was the one Raoul hacked at all morning.

"Fine," Raoul's mouth twitched as he noticed where Joren was gazing, "I'll meet you over on the far side. Take your time." Then he sauntered away, whistling a peppy tune.

Joren's mood worsened as he slowly trudged over to where Lord Raoul was waiting for him. When the squire first had arrived at the practice yard, Kel's opponent had been one of the soldiers of the Own, but now he saw that she was fencing against Sir Giles. Joren narrowed his eyes when Kel locked sword hilts with the smiling, overly-friendly young knight. They looked like they were having entirely too much fun with each other.

"Sir Giles and Squire Keladry are very evenly matched," remarked Sir Khalid, who had walked up behind Joren and saw who he was watching. "They look good together, don't you think, Squire Joren?"

Joren swallowed the burning sensation in his throat before he answered, "No sir, I really _don't_ think so. Sir Giles is ... much too ... smiley. They're supposed to be fighting ... not _flirting_." He wondered if Kel's last words to him about "not distracting her" only applied to him or if they also applied to others, such as her current fencing partner.

"And yet you still doubt the wisdom of the Bazhir keeping our women covered," Khalid chuckled softly and noticed that the squire's hands were now balled up into fists at his sides. "The lady squire is quite skilled and I respect her considerable abilities, but she is also a ... distraction around here. I'm glad she wasn't at the palace during _my_ time in training. It will be good when Third Company moves on."

Joren stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say. On the one hand, he knew that he had a certain advantage over most other men while Kel was so near to him and away from her usual gang of palace friends, such as Queenscove and Kennan. On the other hand, Kel's nearness was driving him insane; he thought about stealing kisses from her all day and he dreamed about holding her all night. Sir Khalid definitely had a point - the lady squire _was_ a distraction, just as she'd always been to him since the day they first met.

"Yes, sir, it ... it will be ... good," Joren's voice sounded tight as he watched Giles skillfully disarm Kel and then playfully flick a lock of her sweat-soaked hair out of her face with the tip of his practice sword. "Then we - _all of us_ - will be able to ... concentrate on our missions." His fists tightened when Kel giggled at Giles' antics.

Khalid now hid his own amusement and offered Joren some advice about sword fighting with Lord Raoul, "He was favoring his left side when we fenced earlier, but remember, the knight commander fights equally well with both his left and his right hand. His battle cry today is 'Youth and skill are no matches for age and treachery!' and he means it. Good luck to you, Squire Joren."

The sullen squire merely nodded his head in acknowledgement, even though he groaned inwardly at his impending doom.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Raoul was waiting patiently for Joren to stretch, but the squire only spent a little time getting ready. Joren knew he would not win - no one ever defeated the knight commander - but he didn't want to get beat too badly. The opponents both stood in a ready stance and then began to circle one another.

"So ... are your bruises completely healed?" Raoul asked as he lunged forward.

Joren deflected him easily and frowned as they began a familiar warm-up exercise of thrusts and parries. "No, my lord, but you needn't go easy on me at all. Sir Paxton says it's best to work out no matter how I feel. Besides, Lord Wyldon certainly never gave any of us a day off."

"Paxton is a wise man - you'll have a lot of success if you follow his advice," Raoul smiled and feinted left before cutting hard and swift around to the right. "I've known your knight-master for many years; his older brother, Francis - may he always rest in peace - was a good friend of mine."

Joren parried and slid his blade around Raoul's to come at him from the other side. "Really, my lord? Did you know that Sir Paxton's new nephew is named for that brother?" Joren was glad to have something fairly pleasant to talk about.

"Yes, Squire Keladry told me about that," Raoul replied as they continued to fight, "Little Francis is her nephew as well. I think it's a fitting honor. How well do you know Kel's sister, Paxton's sister-in-law?"

"Lady Adalia? Oh, just a bit, sir," Joren kept looking for an opening, but Raoul was too quick, "Merovec talked about her all the time when he was here with us, but I've only spoken to her at their wedding and then again whenever Sir Paxton took me to Nond House."

Raoul was impressed with the younger man's ability to focus during their fight and decided to probe in a different direction, "I know my squire's parents and brothers - the ones who are knights - but I'm not acquainted with any of her sisters. Is Kel anything at all like Lady Adalia?"

"I ... I believe so, sir. They're both rather ... stubborn," Joren paused for a moment before he continued, "Of course, Squire Keladry is much taller than Lady Adalia, but I think they look a lot alike, especially when she - Squire Keladry ... um ... dresses up nicely ... like her sisters. "

"Ah ... Kel in a _dress_," Raoul mused as he easily parried Joren's series of thrusts and strikes, "I've not had the occasion to see my squire so attired. I don't suppose you could describe that for me?"

"Sir?" Joren stumbled a tiny bit and almost failed to block Raoul's next blow.

"Kel in a dress," Raoul repeated, not quite suppressing his mischievous smile, "Can you describe that for me?" He nearly disarmed the momentarily stunned Joren with quick thrust and twist.

Joren held on to his sword - barely - and cursed inwardly. Trying to fight while conjuring up a mental picture of Kel dressed as a lady was too much of a distraction for the squire. He _knew_ the big knight was toying with him now. Sir Khalid had warned him about Raoul's treachery and Joren felt that the older man was not playing fair, but he couldn't protest without sounding whiny. He stubbornly pushed the memory of Kel dancing around in a pretty dress from his mind.

"Well, my lord, it's ... it's difficult to describe just now," Joren doubled his efforts and began a more aggressive series of strikes and blows, "Perhaps ... _you_ should have your squire ... dress up for you sometime - so you can see for yourself."

"You think so?" Raoul was surprised by Joren's deflection. He was certain that he'd unnerved the young man, but now the squire seemed to be even more intent on his movements and form. "And what, pray tell, would that accomplish?"

"It might be ... good for Squire Keladry if you make her behave like ... like a _proper_ noble lady for once. You know - just to see if she can do it, sir," Joren sounded rather proud of that thought as he blocked a lightning fast overhead blow. "After all, there are times when Sir Paxton makes _me_ wear formal attire and practice my skills as a proper nobleman."

"Hmm ... that's an interesting idea, squire," Raoul feigned a step backward but then came up under Joren's blade, twisted again and sent it flying. "I think I shall give that some consideration." And he pressed the tip of the practice sword to Joren's throat.

"I yield, sir," Joren said through his panting breaths. He knew he shouldn't have let himself be tricked by that last move, but he was grateful to be standing upright in his defeat. Most of Lord Raoul's opponents ended up on the ground at the end of a match.

Raoul lowered his weapon and they bowed to each other to the sound of applause. Joren turned around and his eyes opened wide in surprise. An audience of soldiers and Bazhir men and boys had gathered to watch the end of their match. He noticed that Kel stood among them, clapping and smiling, too. Joren was not so naïve to think she was smiling at _him_, but he wished that was so as he accepted a ladle of water from one of the Bazhir boys.

"Thank you, Squire Joren, for such a good match." Raoul said as he handed over Joren's practice sword. "I'll look forward to watching you in the tournament matches during the Progress. Perhaps ... I'll even figure out an occasion to implement your _suggestion_." Then he smiled and clapped the exhausted squire on his shoulder before he made his way through the crowd.

* * *

The rest of the week, in accordance with Lord Raoul's new plan, Kel was never alone with any of the young men who had shown even the slightest interest in her. She went on patrol with Dom _and_ Qasim. She toured the local villages with Sir Giles _and_ Raoul. Now she was leaning on the small table in Sir Paxton's tent, reading through Joren's latest composition, while the knight sat at his field desk, working on his own correspondence.

Kel sat comfortably on the edge of a camp chair, holding a quill in her hand, ready to take note of any mistakes as she went along. She tried very hard to focus only on the grammar and spelling, and not on the actual content when she read through it the first time. She also tried very hard to ignore Joren, who was sitting across the table from her, watching her intently.

"Um ... I thought that we were _not_ supposed to discuss these rules anymore," Kel remarked without looking up.

"Well, no, we're not," Joren admitted with a casual shrug, "But Sir Paxton agreed that since I already had written more than half of that letter before you arrived here, I should go ahead and finish it. What do you think - has my writing improved?"

Kel shook her head slightly to quiet him. She had not found any mistakes so far, but there were a few more paragraphs for her to read. She could feel her pulse speed up ever so slightly as the meaning of Joren's written words snuck into her consciousness and she made her face Yamani calm so that she wouldn't give away her true emotions.

******************

_To Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

_Oasis of the Seven Palms_

_March 29, 457 H.E._

_I hope you are enjoying your travels. In your last letter to me, you asked me if I knew if these rules are only for husbands and wives or if they are for betrothed couples, also. Sir Paxton told me that they are for everyone of noble birth. _

_Here are my thoughts on more of the rules. We can go over the entire list when you get here. _

_The fifth rule is: "That which a lover takes against the will of his beloved has no relish." I think this is mostly true. It is best if both lovers agree to the taking, but I have found that there is not much harm from stealing a small favor, such as a kiss. In fact, such things have a lot of relish as long as they can be done quickly and quietly. _

_The sixth rule is: "Boys do not love until they arrive at the age of maturity." I think this is very true. Most boys hate girls and some boys even hate their own sisters. When a girl becomes a lady, then a boy can begin to like her. When a boy becomes a man, then he can begin to love the lady she has become. _

_Another rule is: "The easy attainment of love makes it of little value; difficulty of attainment makes it prized." If love is like fighting, then I think this is true. When your opponent is weaker than you are, then the battle will be short and you will not enjoy it very much. When your opponent is equal to you or even better than you are, then the fight will be much harder, but your prize will be worth more if you win. _

_One of the final rules is: "A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thought of his beloved." I think this is the truest of all 31 rules. There are too many thoughts in the day and even dreams at night. That's why I now think that the Bazhir have the right of it. They keep their women covered from head to toe. If we did that in the north, I think it would be a releaf for many men. Then there would not be so many distracshuns and the men could do their work and fight their battles much better. _

_I'm glad we won't have to discuss these rules anymore after this, because I will not be betrothed to anyone soon. Next time, I will write about the first statement of the ritual of knighthood. _

_Regards,_

_Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

******************

While Kel was reading, Joren looked over his shoulder at Sir Paxton and saw that his knight-master wasn't paying any attention to the squires. The blond squire crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back leisurely in his camp chair. Then Joren stretched out his legs and bumped the toes of his boots against Kel's boots under the table.

"You cut your hair," Joren remarked. "It looks very ... neat."

"Mmm hmm," Kel acknowledged the comment but kept on reading. She had decided that her hair had grown too long after Sir Giles made a comment about it earlier in the week. The funny knight had joked about slicing off a lock of her damp hair because it had been dripping sweat into her eyes throughout their fencing match. He even pretended to make an attempt at cutting it, but lamented that the edge of the practice blade wasn't sharp enough for the job. Kel finally found a Bazhir lady to carefully trim her hair short again.

After Joren's remark about her hair, Kel moved her feet back a little bit, not thinking that his feet had touched hers on purpose. Then she felt his boots bump hers again and she slid her feet back toward her chair, still concentrating on finding the mistakes in his work. After the third bump, Kel moved her feet under her chair so that Joren couldn't reach them unless he slid out of his own seat and onto the floor. Now she was annoyed with him - he'd never behaved this way when they had studied together as pages.

With a jolt, Kel realized what part of the problem could be as she read what Joren had written about the sixth rule. When they studied together at the palace, he had been a boy and he definitely had hated her then. Now, a half-year away from his Ordeal, Joren was considered a man. And - at least according to her parents and Cleon - Kel was just as much a lady as any of the ones who had been presented to the Court that Midwinter. She felt the hairs on her arms rise up and she bit her lower lip nervously.

The days since their last kiss had been unbearable for Joren because they never were alone long enough for him to steal any more kisses from Kel. Obviously, she was serious about not being distracted from her primary goal. It seemed as though all the inhabitants of the camp had become her instant chaperones. Every time Joren saw her, she was either with Lord Raoul or with a crowd of other people, or under the not-so-watchful, but certain presence of his own knight-master.

Joren decided to amuse himself by observing Kel's little fidgets and twitches while she reviewed his work. He noticed the slight pulsing in her neck and the way her breath caught when she read certain sentences - words he had written specifically to catch her attention. He was quite happy to see the way her eyes occasionally widened, even though he could tell she had on her Yamani mask. It made Joren smile wider to think that if Kel looked up at him now, her hazel eyes might possibly be very green.

Kel finished reading the letter, kept her face Yamani blank and slowly raised her head. Joren's level blue gaze had remained on her and he was smiling in a genuinely charming way because he had been correct about her eyes. Kel heard herself swallow and she looked down again to write her evaluation on a different piece of paper.

"You ... only ... misspelled two words," she spoke to Joren as she wrote out the correct spellings for the words 'relief' and 'distraction' for him. "O-otherwise, I ... I think your writing is much improved ... and I ... I'll let Lord Wyldon know."

"Thank you," he said graciously, "But what do you think of the subject matter? Did I do a sufficient job of explaining myself?"

"Um ... yes, of course," Kel tried to breathe normally while she wrote the rest of her evaluation, but it was quite difficult when she knew he was staring at her that way. "I ... I think your thoughts are quite ... um ... interesting. There were hardly any mistakes this time. You ... do need to work on the proper spelling of relief and ... and distractions, but otherwise, it's ... fine."

Kel knew she was babbling, so she shut her mouth and slid the papers across the table to Joren. His fingertips brushed hers as he took the papers from her. She was chagrined that she had flinched at Joren's brief touch and looked up again. That was a big mistake. He merely glanced at the papers and then smiled beautifully at her. Kel felt ridiculously like a rabbit caught in the hypnotic trance of a large predator.

"W-what happened to the seventh and eighth rules?" Kel's voice sounded strained, even to her own ears. "Why did you skip them and all the rest and ... and go to one of the final rules?"

Joren's gaze did not waver as he shrugged and his voice was a quiet drawl this time, "They were boring - one was about widows and the other was about deprivation or something. Besides, after we found out that Lord Wyldon didn't want us to continue discussing them, I decided to finish up by writing about rules that ... that were more ... _relevant_ ... especially since I'm no longer in danger of being betrothed."

"Oh." Kel managed to say. Even though Sir Paxton was sitting in the same tent with them, she felt very alone with Joren. She wished the knight would look up from his work and take notice that the squires were finished, but he seemed to be oblivious to their actions. So Kel broke the strange spell Joren had been weaving around her by addressing his knight-master directly.

"Sir Paxton ... we're finished for today," Kel called to him, "Joren's writing this week was ... very good. He only missed--"

"Two words - relief and distractions," the knight said almost gruffly, "I heard your _discussion._"

Paxton put his papers away, pushed himself away from the desk, and walked over to the table. He picked up Joren's letter and Kel's evaluation and read them. Both squires stood up, straightened their tunics and gave the knight their undivided attention. Paxton stared back at each of them for a long moment, but he didn't say anything, even though he noticed that both of their faces were rather pink with what he correctly assumed to be embarrassment.

The knight had not wanted to believe Raoul when he told Paxton about the truly complex nature of their squires' relationship, but he had agreed to stay alert and observe Squire Joren's behavior around Squire Keladry. Raoul even convinced Paxton to make a small wager: five gold crowns if either squire flirted with the other in Paxton's presence. While it may have appeared to the squires that Sir Paxton was not watching them, he most definitely had seen - and heard - Joren's shameless attempts at flirting with Kel.

Looking from one to the other, the knight suddenly remembered other strange events. On the day he and Joren departed the palace to go to Nond House, Squire Keladry had been coming out of the stable where Joren was preparing their horses when Paxton told her about the birth of their mutual nephew. Their faces had been pink then, too, but he had attributed that to the cold. At Nond House, Joren had been on his best behavior around the Baron of Mindelan and his wife and their daughter - Squire Keladry's sister was his brother's wife. And then there was the 'bruise balm incident' after Joren's first time of jousting against Lord Raoul. Paxton sighed and walked out through the tent's door flap.

"Come along, then," Paxton said wearily, "We'll _both_ escort you back to Lord Raoul now, Squire Keladry. It seems I owe him money for a bet."

* * *

The royal courier arrived during lunch the next day. He carried orders for Lord Raoul to take Third Company back north immediately to help with flood relief along the Drell River. The camp then became a beehive of activity as Kel and the men of the Own packed their equipment and prepared to leave the desert that evening.

Late in the afternoon, Kel and Jump took several extra water skins to one of the nearby oasis pools to fill them for the journey. When she was half-way done filling the skins with the cool, fresh water, she heard someone coming down the well-worn path that led to the pool and turned to see Joren standing there. Jump happily went to the blond squire, who leaned over to scratch the dog between his ears and then they both walked down to stand next to Kel.

"Do you know what fort or town you'll be near?" Joren asked. "I was just wondering ... where to send my ... the next writing assignment. Has Lord Raoul told you yet?"

Kel shook her head, "There's no telling where we'll end up until we see what the situation is. I'm sure your letters will find me - they have so far." She had three more skins to fill. Joren knelt next to her and began to help.

"Kel," he said quietly, "I really meant what I wrote about ... distractions. You're not the only person who ... who has them, you know."

"I suppose you're right, Joren," Kel answered, just as quietly, "But I also meant what I said to you after ... um ... you know. I don't _want_ be distracted now; I just want to earn my shield before ... before anything else. Then, I probably ... well, we'll see."

They worked in silence until all of the water skins were full. Kel felt a little awkward at first because it was the first time in several days that they had been alone together. She appreciated Lord Raoul's plan to keep her potential suitors at an arm's length, but her knight-master couldn't do anything about the 'distractions' inside of her head. Now Kel and Joren each picked up half of the water skins and turned to go back up to the camp.

"Wait a moment," Joren blocked Kel with his outstretched arm, guided her off the path and up against a thick palm tree, "I just have to know something before you leave." He quickly set down his load and before she could utter a protest, Joren held Kel's face between his hands and kissed her - gently at first and then more intensely as she silently answered him kiss for kiss. Then he slowly backed away, breathless and smiling, and picked up his half of the water skins again.

When he spoke again, his voice was husky, "I ... I think ... we'll both be able to ... keep _that_ ... a secret."

Kel wanted to be mad at Joren, but she wasn't. Instead, she closed her eyes for a moment and caught her breath - she knew instinctively that he had found the answer he was hoping for. Her traitorous mind had been thinking about him and his kisses all week and she had to admit to herself that she was quite glad he had figured out a way to steal a few more kisses before she left. Then she followed Joren back up the trail to the bustling camp. Nobody seemed to notice them as they loaded the water onto a pack mule and said farewell in a more formal manner.

The sun was low in the sky by the time everything was ready. Third Company would travel during the coolness of the desert night. Joren watched them as they all mounted their horses and rode away from the camp. Kel glanced back at him once and nodded. It would be a while before they saw each other again and the restrictions of the Progress would require them to behave much differently than they had in the desert. Joren smiled inwardly as he thought about the idea that trading secrets with Kel didn't _have_ to be such a terrible distraction after all.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! It feels so good to write again! ^_^ I hope you enjoyed the teeny bit of fluff. ;-) Actually, some readers have asked how I define 'fluff' and 'AU' and 'OOC' and such terms. I've tried to follow the very long list of definitions and descriptions in the 'Wikipedia(dot)com' article for 'fan fiction' and I think it's an accurate resource for these things. I hope that helps. Please R & R. Thanks! :D**


	36. More Letters

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Yay! I've broken through my writer's block! ^_^ Sorry it took me so long to update - even though I couldn't log in to the site, either. A lot of readers seemed to like the letters, so I decided to bring them back for this chapter - writing them actually helped me get over the block. Sorry, no fluff this time - just more plot and character development. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_They spent April on the banks of the Drell River, which flooded when the winter snows melted. Kel's back was a solid ache as she labored with Raoul and the men to shore up the flood walls._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**More Letters**

Kel was so tired and sore she almost wanted to cry. Soldiers and villagers had worked side-by-side to save the docks and riverside properties, but the spring rains fell relentlessly, adding more and more water to the flooded river. Everywhere Kel looked, people were coated and smeared with the dark clay mud and she knew that she was covered with it, too. She would've given anything for a hot bath, if there had been one to be had; however, the nearest ladies' bath house was several miles away in the town of Sweetspring.

Trudging back to her tent through the sea of mud, Kel wondered what Joren was doing at that moment. Was he preparing for supper in the heat and dryness of the desert while she was soaked to the skin? The baby griffin protested the sudden shower of water droplets when Kel shook her head to clear away such thoughts. After she was dressed in dry clothes and felt relatively clean again, she picked up Joren's latest letter and re-read it.

******************

_To Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

_Oasis of the Seven Palms_

_April 7, 457 H.E._

_I hope all is well with you and I trust that this letter will find you in good time. The curier said there were many places your group might be along the river. _

_Here are my thoughts on the first statement of the ritual of knighthood, which reads "If you survive the Ordeal of Knighthood, you will be a Knight of the Realm. You will be sworn to protect those weaker than you, to obey your overlord, to live in a way that honors your kingdom and your gods." _

_I have always wanted to be a knight, mostly because I believe it is my duty as my family's heir. Stone Mountain has always has a knight in service to the Realm because we are so close to the northern border with Scanra and the eastern border with Galla. My uncle commands the soldiers who live on our fief and, since he has no sons, I expect to take his place someday._

_Stone Mountain has always protected the weaker southern lands of Tortall. Without us - and the other northern fiefs - the Scanrans would have taken over the mountains long ago. My father is the overlord of many smaller fiefs. His only overlord is the King. As a knight, I will do my best to obey both my father and the king. _

_In order to live in a way that honors our kingdom and our gods, a knight must first understand what honor is. That is why noble boys have always trained at the palace. I don't know if noble girls learn these things at the convent school. I think they must because my mother is the one who made me obey my father and give honor to Mithros and the Goddess when I was little, before I went to the palace to train. _

_Our camp is calm now without all the distractions of extra people. I do wish you were able send some of those spring rains down to us. We could use some relief from the blazing heat. Next time, I will write about the second statement of the ritual of knighthood. _

_Regards,_

_Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

******************

Kel put the letter away; she would write her reply after supper. Jump looked sleepily at her from his curled up position on the foot of her cot. After his initial joy of rolling around in the mud had worn off, the clean and dry dog had no intention of following his mistress back out into the rain. She glared at him and sighed. The blazing heat of the desert sounded very inviting right now. Kel then fed the griffin, shrugged into her damp cloak and trudged back through the mud to the dining tent to eat another soggy meal.

* * *

Joren flipped through the large stack of letters he'd received that day. He was very happy to see a letter from his long-time friend, Zahir, who wrote to ask how the fair-skinned northerner was doing in the desert sun. The Bazhir squire to the king also described some of the more interesting plans for the upcoming Progress. Joren thought about how good it would be to rekindle a closer friendship with Zahir when he and Sir Paxton joined the huge procession in the summer.

Both of Joren's parents wrote to tell him that his mother would be moving into a villa in the Bazhir city of Persopolis at the end of the summer season. Her healers had advised her that staying in the north would be fine during the warmer months, but that she should relocate to the desert before the damp and chilly air settled into her lungs again. Lady Virryn's letter was brief, but she seemed excited about having two places in which to live and two households to run.

Joren's father again wrote of his difficulty in finding a suitable match for him and hinted that they might have to lower their expectations and look amongst the Book of Silver families. There were many more prospects there, but the Lord of Stone Mountain was not happy about it. Once again, he scolded Joren for damaging his reputation so much by being involved in the tawdry court case.

Lord Burchard's letter also included a message for Sir Paxton, which the knight read over twice and then scowled. The Lord of Stone Mountain stated that he'd already spoken with King Jonathan, as well as Lord Wyldon, and had obtained permission for Joren and his knight-master to miss the latter part of the King's Progress so that they could accompany Lady Virryn during her move. Neither Joren nor Sir Paxton was pleased with this news; the extra traveling would not be pleasant.

Joren's uncle, Sir Langdon of Stone Mountain, wrote to tell him about some recent changes to the fighting force which was garrisoned at Stone Mountain. The Scanrans had conducted more raids than ever this spring so the king granted several more squads of fighting men to their area. Uncle Langdon looked forward to Joren's next visit to their fief so that he could introduce the squire to the men he someday would command.

Quite surprisingly, Joren also received a letter from his half-sister, Anniseth, who now lived in Maren with her husband's family. She wrote to tell him of the birth of her second son and she even invited Joren to visit her sometime. There was an unmistakable tone of sarcasm when she wrote that she doubted their father would allow Joren to travel abroad to meet his little nephews any time soon. First, Lord Burchard would require his only son to marry and produced sons as quickly as his daughter had. It was obvious to Joren that marriage, moving far away and motherhood had not softened Anniseth's scorn for their father's quest for more Stone Mountain heirs.

Joren read Kel's letter after he set aside all of his other correspondence.

*************

_To Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_Sweetspring-on-the-Drell, Eastern Tortall_

_April 16, 457 H.E._

_Please extend my greetings to Sir Paxton, Sir Khalid and Sir Giles. Unfortunately, it took the __courier__ quite a while to find our group, because we are camped further away from the town than we originally had planned. The river's waters are still flooding the area and we needed to camp on higher ground. _

_I shall inform Lord Wyldon that you continue to show great improvement in your writing skills. There was only one misspelled word - courier - and I believe your thoughts about the first statement of the ritual of knighthood to be well-written. I did not realize that such a large fighting force was garrisoned within your home fief. You probably will become a commander before any of your year-mates. _

_It might surprise you to learn about how much and what subjects the young ladies study at the convent school. My sisters and female cousins have assured me that their classes were every bit as tedious as many of the courses we must take during our palace training. My relatives and their friends definitely learned about honor and the ways of the nobility while they attended the convent school. _

_I am certain that the ladies also study many of the same things we do, such as grammar and mathematics; however they apply them differently. For example, while we may apply arithmetic to figure out the right amount of food and supplies for our fighting units, they may apply it figure out how to manage the castle provisions needed to survive the winter. It's all a matter of perspective and necessity. _

_Hopefully, it will stop raining soon. This is not a complaint, but it seems as though I've been damp and muddy forever. If only I really could trade you some spring rains for desert dryness. It was good to hear from you and I shall look forward to your next letter. _

_Regards,_

_Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

*************

Joren smiled as he read the letter twice more. Kel not only had complimented his letter, but she also said she looked forward to hearing from him again. He closed his eyes and allowed his thoughts to drift to the last kisses he'd stolen from her by the oasis pool. Joren had wanted - needed - to find out if Kel really liked him more than she admitted, and their last private moments together confirmed what he had suspected.

Now Joren was certain that no matter what Kel said about not letting distractions get in her way, he possessed a 'secret back door key' that he planned to use as much as he could. There was no mistaking that she had returned his kisses with a passion he couldn't describe with words. His skin still tingled whenever he thought about it. One way or another, Keladry of Mindelan would be his and Joren knew he was already halfway there.

* * *

_In early May, they returned to the Bazhir and helped the headman of the Sunset Dragon tribe celebrate the birth of twins to his wife. _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Lord Raoul received the official invitation to the Bazhir celebration a few days after the flood waters of the Drell River began to subside. Everyone in Third Company was happy to pack up and head back to the hot desert lands. Once there, they were able to dry out everything, including themselves and enjoy the hospitality of their Bazhir hosts for a few days.

The evening of the main feast, Kel was pleasantly surprised to find out that she would attend as a guest and not have to serve her knight-master during the festivities. Still, she wore her more formal tunic in the Goldenlake colors of green and yellow over her nicest white shirt and green hose. There was so much good food at the feast that Kel was able to fill a napkin with tidbits to give to Jump afterward.

Several Bazhir ladies peered at Kel through their veils and Kel recognized the familiar eyes of the healer woman, Lailah, who had given her the jar of bruise balm that she left with Joren. One of the things Kel still remembered from her days among the Yamanis was how to express all manner of emotions and communicate with her eyes. She made positive eye contact with Lailah and the woman nodded and came over to sit next to her.

"It is good to see you again, Squire Keladry," Lailah clearly was pleased to have been invited to sit with the lady squire. "You are looking much better tonight than you were the last time I saw you."

"Thank you. It's so good to see you, too, Mistress Lailah," Kel replied. "Your balm has saved my life - or at least my back - on several occasions. I would like to buy some more from you before we leave."

"My goodness, child!" Lailah exclaimed, "You cannot have used that entire jar of balm already!"

"Well," Kel looked sheepish and hoped her face wasn't turning too red, "I ... I actually gave it away to one of my ... comrades. He ... he really needed it more than I did after jousting with my lord. I hope you don't mind."

"Oh, of course I can give you some more, but you must not pay me for it," Lailah waved her hand. "I am pleased you were able to help someone in need. Is he ... good-looking ... this _comrade_ of yours?"

"What?" Kel was surprised by the question, "Um, I suppose so. Yes." Now she could feel the heat she knew was evident in her face.

"Is he ... that young man across the tent from us?" asked the older woman as she gently jabbed Kel in the ribs and nodded toward Sir Giles, who also was a guest at this celebration. "I've noticed him glancing over at you many times tonight. He looks like he'd rather be more than just your comrade, though."

Kel quickly glanced over and saw the friendly knight lift his goblet in an informal salute to her. She acknowledged him with a brief nod and turned back to talk to Lailah. Now Kel wished she had a veil to hide behind; she knew her face was beet-red.

"Um ... no, it's not him," Kel replied, "My ... um ... comrade isn't here with us."

Kel quickly changed the subject by asking the healer woman about remedies for callused hands and blistered fingers. She also avoided Sir Giles for the remainder of the evening. She had forgotten that Sir Khalid was the younger brother to the headman of the Sunset Dragon tribe and that, as his former squire, Sir Giles was practically a member of the family here, too. Kel decided it would be best if she was safely inside her own tent before any of the traditional dancing began.

Breathing a sigh of relief when she made it back to her tent without having to talk to Sir Giles, Kel was surprised to find three letters waiting for her on her bedroll in the tent. She opened the one from her cousin Tressa first and had a good laugh. Tressa's father, Lord Kinrath of Seabeth and Seajen, was having some difficulty negotiating a betrothal for her - mostly due to the girl's sharp wit and even sharper tongue. Kel imagined that the arguments between her feisty cousin and uncle were quite similar to the ones her mother confessed to having had with her own father, the late Lord Conal of Seabeth and Seajen, the grandfather whom Kel and Tressa shared in common.

Apparently, Kel's cousin had started an anti-Joren campaign amongst her friends, and every young lady Tressa knew at Court now refused to let their fathers consider the Stone Mountain heir as a desirable match. After all, who would want a husband who had kidnapped their favorite seamstress? Fashionable dresses were very important! It was a relief that Queen Thayet recently had chosen Tressa to be one of the Royal Ladies and the young lady was very excited about the upcoming Progress. Kel now looked forward to seeing her cousin soon.

The second letter Kel read also made her laugh; it was from Neal. His comments were both comical and colorful. Her best friend continued to be annoyed that his knight-mistress dragged him to every town, no matter how small, to learn about various healing techniques and remedies from dodgy old healers and aged hedge witches. Neal's favorite things about the Lioness were her down-to-earth husband, Baron George, and her three wonderful, but mischievous children. Everything else made the Stump look positively serene in comparison.

Finally, Kel opened Joren's letter.

******************

_To Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

_Oasis of the Seven Palms_

_April 26, 457 H.E._

_Again, I hope that this letter will find you in good time. We had news that the rains had stopped, so I trust that you are not as damp and muddy as before. It's still brutally hot here - you didn't send the rains over to us. _

_I am pleased that you liked my previous letter. Here are my thoughts on the second statement of the ritual of knighthood, which reads "To wear the shield of a knight is an important thing. It means you may not ignore a cry for help. It means that rich and poor, young and old, male and female may look to you for rescue, and you cannot deny them." _

_The Shield of Stone Mountain has the outline of the mountain in the background with a crossed sword and battle-ax underneath. For centuries, there always has been some kind of fighting going on in the mountains, so my shield will carry a lot of importance. I will put my skills - and my shield - to good use when I become a knight. _

_Again, Stone Mountain has always protected the weaker southern lands of Tortall and the mountains are full of all kinds of people. No one ever has had cause to complain to the king about lack of support or protection from Stone Mountain. We've always honored our obligations and we always will. _

_There are more things I hope to discuss with you before I have to write my next letter. Sir Paxton and I are preparing to return to Nond House next week and then travel on to the palace after that. Perhaps we will see you there before we join the Progress. May the gods all bless and keep you until we meet again. _

_Regards,_

_Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

******************

After she fed the animals and settled the griffin for the night, Kel let her thoughts wander while she finished preparing for bed. What things could Joren possibly want to discuss with her? Part of her hoped he didn't want to trade any more secrets with her, but the other part was curious about how and when he would steal more kisses.

It was only when Kel remembered the words of the third statement of the ritual of knighthood that she realized the most likely problem: "_You are bound to uphold the law. You may not look away from wrongdoing. You may not help anyone to break the law of the land, and you must prevent the breaking of the law at all times, in all cases."_ How in the world was Joren supposed to write about this? Perhaps Joren finally wanted to tell her who had been his partner in crime. Kel certainly hoped so; that was one secret she was tired of keeping - it made her feel less than honorable, too.

The sleepy squire let her final thoughts of the night linger upon the last statement of Joren's letter. He actually had asked the gods to bless and keep her; he had wished her well. Kel tried to keep from remembering the way she felt during their last kisses by the oasis pool, but she eventually gave up and allowed the warm, tingly feelings to carry her off into her dreams.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I decided to write only the letters between Kel and Joren and just describe the other mail because the chapter was becoming ridiculously long. I hope that makes sense and I'm so happy that you're still reading my story. Please R & R. Thanks! :D**


	37. Sparks

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Sorry, I haven't updated at my usual quick pace - life's been hectic and I started a new story and excuses, excuses, etc. :D I'm glad so many of you enjoyed the last chapter's letters. Now it's back to the palace before joining the Progress. And ... here's a friendly little **Fluff Alert** ;D I know some of you have been waiting patiently for this. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_In early May, they returned to the Bazhir and helped the headman of the Sunset Dragon tribe celebrate the birth of twins to his wife. After that Raoul led them back to the palace._

_There wasn't a noble in sight. The immense parade of the Great Progress, designed to introduce Tortallans to Shinkokami and to renew the people's ties to the monarchs, had departed..._

_... They had two lazy weeks before a firm message arrived from the king. Third Company packed and rode slowly for six days._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Sparks**

Sir Paxton and his squire arrived at the palace one week after the Progress departed. The knight only planned to stay in Corus long enough to tend to official Nond family business and to speak with Lord Wyldon about Joren's continued probationary status. Joren hoped that the Third Company - along with Kel - would return before he and his knight-master left and he grew more agitated with each passing day that the Own's stables remained empty.

Three nights before he and Sir Paxton planned to depart Corus, the impatient squire decided to calm himself with a visit to 'Lady Loelle's' establishment. The women greeted Joren with delight. It had been quite a while since they'd seen him and several of the 'ladies' commented on the handsome squire's height and how much he now resembled his generous father.

There was an uncomfortable moment when the proprietor asked Joren how he intended to pay for his visit. At first, this was confusing to the wealthy squire because he knew that his father had set up a personal account for him after his 'initiation' and he had not visited the brothel in well over a year. Now the account was nearly depleted and Joren burned with anger when he discovered that Lord Burchard had given Vinson of Genlith written approval to charge his activities against his son's account.

Suddenly, Joren no longer wished to be entertained by women who'd been with either his father or Vinson - who'd obviously become a regular patron - or any other man. He knew he couldn't stay there another minute, so he disentangled himself from the woman who'd thought she would be his partner for the evening and he left the room. Disgusted at the situation and frustrated with his conflicted feelings, Joren walked away from 'Lady Loelle's' and silently vowed never to return.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next morning, after he and Sir Paxton finished their daily exercises and sparring, Joren felt a strange compulsion to go to the Chapel of the Chamber of the Ordeal. He'd been there only once before - on a dare from Vinson and Garvey, no less - and the terrifying vision the Chamber had given the squire had haunted him for many days afterward. Back then he vowed not to return until it was time for his Ordeal, but now he couldn't stop himself from pushing open the door to the chapel and peering inside.

The nervous squire quietly entered the dimly lit room and slowly approached the Chamber's mysterious door. Now that he was trying to be a better person, as well as a more chivalrous candidate for knighthood, Joren hoped for a different vision than the one of him dying a horrible death on a far-away battlefield. He took a deep breath, placed both of his palms on the cold metal and tried not to scream.

_It was bitterly cold and his body hurt all over. Small, dry snowflakes were swirling all around him, scouring his face and hands, and the force of the wind slammed him into the stone tower over and over again. He knew he had to keep climbing - higher and higher up the outer staircase of Balor's Needle. Vinson's insane note had told him where to go. Time was running out and Joren knew he wasn't going to make it to the top of the tower in time to save Kel's maid. Now he feared he wouldn't be able to save Kel either. _

_When his frozen and raw fingers reached up and felt the flat surface of the highest platform of the Needle, Joren gritted his teeth and pulled himself up. He could hear loud, rhythmic grunting under the howling wind and he gasped in horror as he realized what was happening. Vinson stopped in mid-thrust turned his head and smiled maliciously at him._

_"I had to have the maid all to myself," Vinson nodded toward the deathly still form, already covered with snow, on the far side of the platform. "I knew you'd understand about that. Actually, I was surprised you didn't have the_ guts_ to report me last year. It gave me more time to come up with this much better plan for my revenge."_

_Joren felt his stomach lurch as he stared at the scene in front of him. It was obvious that he had arrived too late to save anyone. The insane squire straddled a bound and gagged Kel; her breeches had been ripped off and tossed aside. If the pain didn't kill her, she'd soon freeze to death. Vinson saw Joren's horrified expression and sneered at him._

_"As for _this_ wench, I made her watch me take my revenge on her stupid maid," Vinson laughed cruelly. "When I'm done with her, there might be something left over for you. I couldn't believe it - after all this time, the Lump really was a virg--"_

_Joren launched his body toward Vinson, pushing him off of Kel. Her badly bruised face and haunted eyes told the whole sordid story. The maid, Lalasa, was dead already and now Kel was hurt and her life was in grave danger. Joren strengthened his struggle for the knife in Vinson's hand; he had failed to save Kel's virtue, but he would not fail to save her life. In one fatal movement, both men tumbled over the edge of the platform and fell down, down, down..._

Joren's backside hit the chapel's flagstones with a loud thump. His throat was raw from all of his stifled screams and it took him several minutes to catch his breath. He sat there on the floor, trembling and rubbing his frozen fingers until they had feeling in them again. Still, Joren couldn't get the memory of the Chamber's vision - of Kel's terrified and accusing eyes - out of his mind.

When Joren finally felt strong enough to stand up, he made his way outside to one of the gardens. There he vomited under the rosebushes and then sat against a stone bench to rest for a while. He was grateful that most of the palace's inhabitants were away with the Progress; there was very little chance that anyone would find him in such a state of disarray.

Even though the day was quite warm, Joren continued to feel chilled to the bone from the effects of Chamber's awful vision. He shivered in the sunlight and thought long and hard about what he should do next. Then he got up and walked back into the palace to find his knight-master.

Early the next day, as Joren completed the final lap of his morning run along the curtain wall, he saw the horses and men of Third Company cantering through the palace gate. He stopped running and watched for Kel. When he spotted her, he breathed a sigh of relief - she was laughing and joking with the men riding on either side of her as they made their way to the Own's stables. Joren quickly dashed back to his rooms, wrote a short note and hurried to place it on Kel's desk before she returned to her rooms.

* * *

Kel finished grooming the horses and putting away all their equipment. Then she dragged herself back to her rooms. It had been a long, dusty ride home. After she fed and settled the baby griffin, Kel grabbed a fresh change of clothes and turned to head back out to the women's bath house for a well-deserved scrub and soak. The simple folded note on her desk caught her attention.

***********

_K. - _

_Welcome back. I saw you ride in this morning. We should talk soon - I must depart for the Progress tomorrow. I will be studying maps in the second-floor library for one full bell after lunch today. I hope to see you then._

_J._

**************

Kel chewed on her lower lip for a moment, tucked the note in her pocket and went directly to the women's bath house. She didn't know whether or not it was a good idea to meet with Joren by herself, but she didn't think he'd want to discuss any issues about the kidnapping trial if someone else came with her. She was intensely curious about what he wanted to tell her, but she couldn't make any decisions until she was clean.

When she entered the large tub of hot, sweet-smelling water, Kel pushed all thoughts about Joren - and everything else - out of her mind. It definitely was good to be back at the palace. She had to wash her hair several times before her scalp felt free of sand. After she scrubbed her skin clean, dried off and put on fresh clothes, Kel made up her mind to talk to Joren - alone.

Kel ate a hearty lunch with the soldiers in the Own's dining hall. Afterward, Lord Raoul told her that the only task she needed to complete during the afternoon was cleaning their equipment so that it would be ready for tilting practice the next day. He also reminded her that he had an early afternoon meeting with Lord Wyldon. Kel nodded her understanding - even though she inwardly groaned at the prospect of more 'flying lessons' so soon after their return.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The library was very quiet and peaceful and Kel didn't want to disturb Joren. She'd found him working at a table in the back part of the library and she watched him for a while as he traced paths with his fingers on a rolled-out map. His unbound white-blond hair hung down around his face and he seemed completely oblivious to her presence. Kel remembered that posture from their days as study partners and she smiled.

"Hello ... Joren," she finally said, "I got your note. You said you wanted to talk to me, so ... here I am." And she shrugged amiably.

Joren looked up from the map table and met Kel's gaze with his sky-blue eyes. Then he gave her the most genuine, heart-stopping smile she'd ever seen. She felt the odd tingling sensation all over her body and her stomach did its funny little flip-flop. Kel's breath caught in her throat and she hoped she wasn't blushing.

"Come over here," Joren urged her with a tilt of his head, not moving his hands from the map, "Let me show you what I've been planning. I'll have to leave the Progress during the autumn tournament season to escort my mother down to her winter lodgings in Persopolis. Sir Paxton gave me the responsibility to determine our best routes and decide where we'll stop along the way."

Kel walked over to the large table that was designed for studying maps and she stood next to Joren, but not too close. She could see that he'd been writing lots of notes on the papers strewn about the table. When he leaned over the map again, she became acutely aware of the way his muscles moved and flexed within his well-tailored tunic. She noticed that the handsome squire also smelled very nice, which was quite an improvement over the dusty, musky-smelling soldiers of the Own she'd been around lately.

Now Kel was glad she had spent such a leisurely time in the bath house that morning. She brushed the shaggy wisps of her bangs out of her eyes and decided she'd better trim her hair before the next day's tilting practice. Then she tugged on the hem of her plain green tunic. Finally, Kel crossed her arms over her chest and forced herself to focus on listening to Joren as he explained his plans and the various routes he had chosen for the trip.

"... and so I figure it will save us two days travel time if we go down along the river this way," he was saying, "What do you think? Kel?" He leaned on his elbow and looked up at Kel again, waiting for her to answer him. It was somewhat amusing to Joren to discover that the lady squire hadn't been giving him her undivided attention and he wondered what she'd actually been thinking about while he was talking.

"Um ... yes, that route looks pretty good. You should ... have a very pleasant trip." Kel felt foolish but she willed her voice to sound normal, "Does your mother go south every winter?"

"No," Joren shook his head, "This will be her first stay in the desert - which is why she wants _me_ to escort her there. My father despises sand and heat, but he only recently purchased the villa because the healers are convinced that my mother's health will benefit from the drier climate. Sir Paxton and I will rejoin the Progress once my mother is settled in Persopolis. I suppose she'll return to Stone Mountain after the snows thaw, but she plans to be in Corus for my ... when I go through my Ordeal."

"Oh," Kel still felt distracted by Joren's physical closeness. "Well, I do hope your mother will like Persopolis. Remember all the information we studied when we put together that battle plan for Lord Wyldon's class? It's such an interesting place - there's so much history and culture there." Kel knew she was babbling. She felt silly and strange as she wondered what it would be like to run her fingers through Joren's pretty hair.

Almost as if he'd read her mind, Joren stood straight up, ran his fingers through his hair and then crossed arms over his chest. "I think she'll like it just fine - especially since she told me she was tired of coughing all winter long in Stone Mountain's bone-chilling climate," he said as they both stared down at the map and all of his notes.

"Kel, I ... I really _wanted_ to tell you ... everything," Joren sighed in resignation, "But my knight-master advised me to confront the person who actually made the map and wrote those notes that the kidnappers used last year. Maybe ... just maybe ... I can convince him to confess. Sir Paxton said I should try to clear everything up before ... well, before the Ordeal of Knighthood."

"I see," Kel said. "So ... you're _not_ going to tell me who it is, are you?"

Joren looked at Kel now and shook his head slowly, "I can't. Not yet, anyway. I'm sorry, Kel, but I hope you can understand."

Kel saw the anguish in Joren's sky-blue eyes and felt oddly comforted that he at least felt bad about not being able to tell her the whole story now. She did understand that he was honor-bound to give the other culprit one final chance to turn himself over to the authorities. Her only fear was that his efforts would be in vain; after all, whoever came up with that foolish plan to kidnap Lalasa had remained completely silent while Joren took the full blame.

"It's alright, Joren. I can wait." Kel nodded solemnly. "It's just that ... truthfully, I'd hoped you would tell me sooner rather than later. I don't think we can properly discuss the third statement of the ritual of knighthood until both of our consciences are clear of this mess."

"I agree with you," replied Joren as he faced her. "That's why I've asked Sir Paxton to petition Lord Wyldon for a break from our writing assignments. We'll both be quite busy with all the social duties and responsibilities of the Progress. And then there are the tournaments and the contests and all the travel. We simply won't have very much free time. And - you've said it yourself - my writing _has_ improved tremendously." Now he smiled brightly.

Kel turned toward him and said, "That's right! I didn't have to make _any_ corrections to that last letter you sent me. It was your best work so far." She grinned, remembering how proud she'd been when she first read the mistake-free piece of correspondence.

Suddenly, both Kel and Joren realized just how close together they were standing. Joren's smile slowly disappeared from his face. He had tilted his head slightly and was gazing at her more intently. Kel broke eye contact by looking down at the floor.

"Kel," Joren's voice sounded huskier now, "There's ... something else we ought to ... talk about before I leave."

"Are you ... Do you ...?" Kel gulped. "Do you want to ... trade more secrets?"

"Please look at me, Kel." Joren quietly insisted. When she lifted her face to his, he saw the desired greenness of her hazel eyes and slowly asked her, "Would you ... would you like for me ... to kiss you now?"

Kel could nod only once before Joren's lips were pressed against hers and his arms wrapped around her in a gentle embrace. Her knees felt weak and she placed her hands on his solid shoulders to steady herself as their kisses deepened and he held her tighter. Although the sparks were not visible to her, Kel was certain that there were many of them flying through the air between her and Joren.

* * *

While Joren and Kel were in the library, their knight-masters were meeting with the training master in his office. Although the Progress was already underway, Master Oakbridge was in charge of the squires there when their knight-masters didn't need them. Lord Wyldon planned to conduct his usual summer camp training with the pages and then catch up to the Progress after he released the pages for their summer break.

Lord Wyldon pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to ignore the pounding in his head. His discussion with Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton was both encouraging and dismaying. Apparently, Squire Joren was taking his probationary status quite seriously and had made a lot of improvements in both his writing and his mounted combat skills. However, Wyldon was not pleased by the flippant humor with which both knight-masters treated the almost-romance between their squires.

"You should have seen them, Wyldon," Raoul chuckled as he recounted the incident with the bruise balm, "That boy was in such ... distress. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing aloud."

"And I am ashamed to admit that I was largely oblivious to the situation," Paxton shook his head in bemusement, "Lord Raoul warned me, but I didn't believe him until I watched the two squires _flirting_ over that writing assignment about the rules of courtly love. That's when I realized it was time for me to pay up."

"The writing assignment?" Wyldon's voice sounded alarmed. "I told you to have them stop writing about those rules. That book is nothing but trouble!"

"My lord, please don't worry." Sir Paxton tried to soothe the training master, "That was the final composition about the rules. I assure you, Squire Joren is back to writing about regular chivalry and the ritual of knighthood and such."

"And the men of the Own are like a large group of older brothers to my squire - well, for the most part, anyway." Raoul explained, but he did not tell of his suspicions about a certain blue-eyed sergeant. "Joren can't get near Kel without a whole bunch of them hanging around and acting as de facto chaperones. It's quite funny - you should come down to our stables sometime and see for yourself."

"Humph! You two just don't understand," Wyldon said grumpily, "Girls are ... _difficult_ to handle at this age. One minute they're fine, and the next minute you can't keep them away from the males, or vice versa. I have four daughters; my oldest two are married - thank the gods - and my youngest has just begun her studies at the convent school. However, my third daughter - who is close to the same age as Squire Keladry - tries my patience constantly. She has to have a chaperone at all times and it's more complex than you can imagine. And you, Paxton - you _know _about Joren's tendencies in this area! You must stay more alert!"

"Joren's _tendencies_?" Raoul asked as his eyebrows rose, "What do you mean by that?"

Paxton shook his head and sighed, "Lord Burchard took his son to 'Lady Loelle's' salon shortly before the boy's fourteenth birthday and he's become quite ... popular. Females flock to him. Both Lord Wyldon and I have had to warn the housekeeping staffs here at the palace and at Nond House to report any misbehavior from the squire, lest he follow too closely in his sire's footsteps."

"Ah, I see," said Raoul dryly, "Perhaps I'd better teach my squire a few more _defensive_ techniques. She does not to want to be distracted from her goal of earning her shield. I wouldn't want Squire Joren's - or any other interested males' - attention to interfere with her plans."

"Well, I wouldn't worry too much about that," Paxton said. "We are leaving tomorrow to catch up with the Progress. I've been putting a lot of pressure on my squire to enter the sword fighting competitions during the upcoming tournaments. He's worked very hard and I believe he'll do quite well. Additionally, he's been thinking more and more about his Ordeal. I feel that he is close to confessing everything about that ill-fated kidnapping."

"Oh? Joren has spoken to you about this?" Wyldon leaned towards Paxton at this news, "Has he named his accomplice to you?"

"No, my lord," Paxton replied, "Not yet. But Joren seems more and more preoccupied by _something._ He's only hinted at the problem in a general way. I advised him to proceed with caution; he must give the offending person the chance to do the right thing and then confront the issue directly if the person does not respond favorably."

"That's good advice," Raoul remarked, "But Joren already took full responsibility for the kidnapping. What can he hope to accomplish by convincing his accomplice - or accomplices - to come forward at this point in time?"

Wyldon answered before Paxton could speak, "A clear conscience, my lord, a gods-blessed clear conscience. I know that's something _I'd _want to have before I entered the Chamber of the Ordeal, wouldn't you?"

The men were silent for a moment and then wrapped up their conversation by wishing each other luck on their various missions. They agreed to meet again during the autumn tournaments to discuss whether or not to allow Joren to take his Ordeal on time. Each man now knew what to watch for and each man now knew it was very important to be more vigilant than ever. Neither man understood that it already was too late.

* * *

Joren was so relieved when he saw Kel standing there in the library, healthy-looking and happy. He'd been having nightmares of the vision the Chamber had given him and he vowed never to let that horror become a reality. He was pleased to be able to show her his plans for escorting his mother to Persopolis. And he was ecstatic when Kel admitted that she wanted him to kiss her. All of the stolen kisses had been fun, but _these_ kisses - freely given and freely taken - were like nothing he'd ever experienced.

Neither Kel nor Joren wanted to be the first to stop kissing the other, but the realization that he somehow needed to warn Kel about the potential danger to her was what finally broke through to Joren's muddled thoughts. He kissed her deeply one more time and then hugged her to his chest. Both of them had to catch their breath and Kel was grateful that Joren seemed to be content with just holding her in his arms now.

"Mithros, Kel!" Joren softly exclaimed. "Where did you learn how to kiss like that?"

"Um ... that's never happened before. Remember, I'm trying _not_ to be distracted," Kel replied. She was glad Joren couldn't see her blushing face as she quipped, "Anyway, I ... I think ... _you_ just taught me how to kiss ... like that." She felt him tighten his embrace around her. Then she felt the deep rumbling in Joren's chest when he chuckled at her remark.

"Well ... then, I guess that's that," Joren quipped back. "I'm glad I finally got to 'tutor'_ you_ in something."

"So, you'd give me a passing mark?" Kel asked mischievously.

"Yes ... yes, I would - even if you only see me as a _distraction_," he admitted with a laugh, but then his voice turned sober and he let his arms fall away from her, "Kel, I need to tell you about something else. It's really important."

Now Kel took a step back so she could see Joren's face. "You sound ... worried. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong - well, not exactly," Joren answered, "But I want you to promise me that you'll stay away from the top of Balor's Needle. I know you probably don't need me to tell you that, but ... please, Kel ... just don't go near the place, alright?"

"Alright," Kel agreed. "I hope I never have to see that place again. Heights no longer frighten me, but I still don't like them."

Joren added, "Also, you should be extremely careful around anyone you think is my friend. Some of them continue to be quite ... eager to be rid of you. We both know that no one will accept ... this ... this _secret_ between us - especially after everything that's... happened. I want to be able to be with you, Kel, but I can't explain it fully to anyone yet, and I don't think you can either."

Kel thought about the recent discussions she'd had with her mother and her knight-master. Lady Ilane and Lord Raoul were the most understanding people she knew, but even they had not been very supportive of a romance between her and Joren. And she just knew that neither her father nor his father would be happy with the situation. Whatever it was that they had between them would have to remain a secret for the foreseeable future. Besides, she really didn't need this kind of distraction in her life at this time.

"You're right, Joren," Kel sighed. "I just wish people didn't care so much about what I do or fail to do. I'd like to be with you, too, but I need to earn my shield first anyway. Perhaps things won't be so complicated in a few years."

"Then I guess it's settled," Joren gently held Kel's face between his hands and gazed into her eyes, "I'll just have to go back to 'stealing' your kisses."

Many 'sparks' later, Kel practically floated back to her rooms and happily cleaned equipment until it was time for supper. She didn't even mind tilting practice the next day, mostly because she'd been able to create a few more sparks with Joren before he left. And when Third Company finally rode out to catch up with the Progress, Kel looked forward to the occasional distractions she knew Joren would gladly provide.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know - some readers probably think my versions of Kel and Joren are slightly OOC here, but **_**come on**_** - after 36 chapters of AU storytelling, these characters **_**are**_** different from the originals. Besides, some of you **_**really**_** wanted more fluff. ;D I appreciate everyone for continuing to read my story and I hope you'll continue to like it the way I'm writing it. Please review. Thanks! :D**


	38. An Extremely Irritating Journey

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Sorry it took me such a long time to update. My first few drafts of this chapter were more attempts at first-person perspective writing. Ugh! :-( The words just weren't coming together for me. I had hoped to post this chapter last week and now I'm sick and tired of playing with different perspectives. Therefore, I'm posting it as it is - ready or not. I've returned to my usual 'storytelling' mode again and I hope the enormous length of this chapter will make amends for my long absence. If you've read TP's original book, ****Squire****, you've seen the King's Progress mostly from Kel's perspective - so, the book quotes I've used in this chapter are there to give you a frame of reference. Now here's a look at some of the events, mostly from Joren's point of view. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

**An Extremely Irritating Journey**

_At last they topped a ridge that overlooked the city of Whitethorn, tucked into a delta formed by the rivers Olorun and Tirragen. There they watched the fat, glittering serpent of the royal progress come into view ... The city was swathed in banners and garlands. Tortallan and Yamani flags waved atop every tower._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

-----------------------

A solitary figure sulked at his small table near the noisy tavern's smoky hearth. People all around him were laughing and drinking and celebrating the arrival of the King's Progress to the prosperous city of Whitethorn. The sullen squire only wished he was back in the desert. So far, the Progress had been one long, extremely irritating journey for Joren of Stone Mountain.

When he and his knight-master caught up with the long procession of horses and carts, he received an annoying message from his father, who already was waiting for them in Whitethorn. Lord Burchard had arranged lodging for Sir Paxton and Joren at the same inn where he and Lady Virryn were staying. Joren would have preferred to stay in the 'tent city' with his fellow squires.

The Lord of Stone Mountain planned to introduce his soon-to-be-knighted son to various noblemen and their eligible daughters during this first important stop of the Progress. Joren wasn't in the mood for his father's attempts at matchmaking. After the third extremely irritating evening of stiff politeness and awkward conversation with young ladies who clearly had no interest in an arranged marriage with him, Joren finally told his father that he couldn't bear another such appointment.

"What do you mean, you won't do it anymore?" Lord Burchard demanded to know, "You're not even trying to be successful at this. Do you have any idea how difficult it's been for me to get these families even to agree to consider you as a potential match? Your foolishness concerning that stupid maid has decreased our options considerably."

"Well, maybe I'm just not ready to be betrothed," Joren sighed, "Why can't this all wait until after I become a full knight?"

"Because there are no daughters of Book of Gold families scheduled to be presented to the Court for the next two years." Burchard sounded indignant. "As it is, we're scraping around the bottom of the barrel of the Book of Silver families now. Your choices are limited, son, especially because there are more and more daughters of the new nobility coming up in the future."

"And what's so wrong about those girls?" Joren was thinking about a particular hazel-eyed daughter of the newest nobility. "As long as she's noble, what difference does it make who I marry?"

"The difference is _quality_, son," insisted Joren's father, "I want only the best for you - I always have and I always will. The haMinch girl would have been a delightful addition to our family, but now that's out of the question. And you know you need to marry as soon as possible after you're knighted so you can start producing Stone Mountain's heirs. Otherwise, I just might have to--" Then he stopped speaking and looked across the room. Joren followed his father's gaze to the entrance of the inn.

The beautiful and popular widow, Lady Gwendolyn of Haltkindle, had arrived in Whitethorn and it was obvious that Lord Burchard, like most of the other men in the sitting room, was attracted to her. At the age of twenty-six, she still looked quite young, even though her son, Kalven, would become a page in the autumn. Lady Gwendolyn was tall and shapely, with honey-blond hair and blue-green eyes. She also had sly smile which reminded Joren of his sister, Anniseth, and he shuddered at the thought.

Everyone at Court knew that the elderly Lord of Haltkindle had married the much younger Lady Gwendolyn for her potential ability to produce another heir for him. He'd been a widower for many years when bandits killed two of his sons and the other one died at sea, leaving him without any legitimate heirs. His new wife was almost seventeen when she gave birth to their son, so that when the old lord passed into the Peaceful Realm, he was a very happy man.

Joren had heard rumors that his father once had an affair with the flirtatious Court lady, and seeing the expression on the older man's face, he no longer doubted the truth of those rumors. He only hoped that his mother had not heard about her husband's dalliances. Joren narrowed his eyes in disgust and excused himself from his father's presence. He had no desire to watch the man drool over the lovely Lady Gwendolyn. Lord Burchard barely noticed that his son had left his side.

* * *

_At Whitethorn castle a servant directed Kel to an assembly room. She joined other squires to await their usual spate of banquet instructions from the palace master of ceremonies, Upton Oakbridge._

_... Briskly Oakbridge gave instructions. These banquets were only a little different from page service: squires were assigned to a table where their knight-masters were joined by a dinner companion and other notables. Once the feast was over, guests roamed while squires remained at their posts, refilling glasses, offering sweets, fruits and cheeses, and providing finger bowls and napkins._

_... Once they were released from banquet service, Kel ate a late supper with her friends among the squires, including Owen, Neal, Merric and Cleon. Usually some of them walked her back to her tent to watch the griffin's last feeding of the day. They kept a respectful distance as they looked on. None of them wanted to risk a griffin attack just because Kel's charge might scratch or bite him._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

-----------------------

It was obvious that many of Joren's fellow squires were still quite upset about his actions against Kel and the outcome of the trial. If looks could kill, the blond squire would have been buried many times over already. At first, since Kel had not yet arrived in Whitethorn, Joren merely ignored her friends' hateful stares and rude comments. He truly didn't care what they thought of him anymore.

Vinson also had not yet arrived - he was still out on other missions with his knight-master - so Joren hadn't had the chance to clear things up with his former friend. Currently, Zahir, Garvey and Quinden were the only ones who'd speak to Joren during the banquet services or eat with him when the squires all had their suppers afterward. One evening, prior to Kel's arrival, Joren overheard a conversation between Cleon of Kennan, Merric of Hollyrose and the insufferable Owen of Jesslaw. The whole exchange had irritated him further.

"Cleon, when is Kel going to get here?" Owen had asked. "It'll be jolly to see her again!"

The tall redhead had shrugged, "How should I know? Why are you asking me?" He sounded unreasonably cross.

Merric nudged him in the ribs and said, "Because you always said you'd be courting Kel once she became a squire. We just thought you'd certainly know when she's coming here."

"Well, I don't." Cleon grumbled, "I _finally_ got to kiss Kel the night before that awful trial and then we kissed again at Midwinter, but we haven't been in the same place at the same time since then."

Both Merric and Owen seemed embarrassed for a moment but then the pudgy new squire recovered his composure and asked, "So, you're courting her now, right?"

Cleon shook his head, "I ... I've asked Kel to consider a courtship between us, but the courier service is so unpredictable along the northern border, I haven't been able to send any letters to her. As soon as she gets here, I'll ask her in person. I've been waiting for her answer for a long time."

"I'm certain she'll say yes," Merric assured his friend, "After all, doesn't Kel's entire family already like you?"

"Yes, that's true." Cleon began to sound more cheerful, "I just hope Kel gets here before her birthday. Sir Inness said there'll be a family celebration for her and that I may accompany him to it. Perhaps I'll be able to talk to Kel alone for a moment and, well ... we'll see."

The three friendly squires then chatted about others things and Joren stopped listening to them. How could he have forgotten that Cleon liked Kel, too? In fact, it was Cleon who'd first pointed out all of Kel's great qualities to him in the first place. Joren was extremely irritated with himself for forgetting that Cleon was squire to Kel's brother. He remembered all of the family's friendliness toward the redheaded squire during Merovec's wedding at Fief Mindelan. And despite the politeness with which Kel's parents had treated him during their visit to Nond House, Joren was certain that they didn't like him as much as they apparently liked Cleon of Kennan.

The more Joren thought about the conversation he'd overheard, the more irritated he became. He burned with envy at the thought of Cleon kissing Kel - _his_ Kel - and asking to court her long before she came to the desert. She'd obviously lied to Joren about him being the one to teach her how to kiss so passionately - the way they had kissed in the library before he left the palace. She'd never mentioned _anything_ about Cleon, but they'd clearly kissed a few times and Joren was certain that the redheaded squire enjoyed Kel's lips just as much as he had. How dare she make such a fool of him?

When Kel finally arrived in Whitethorn, she and Lord Raoul ended up staying out in the tent-city, so Joren only got to see her when all the squires served together at the banquets. He'd wanted to confront her immediately, but there never was a time when she was completely alone. He rarely had the chance to say more than a few words to her and, even then, it felt as though both Kel's friends and Joren's friends watched them very closely to see if they would get into a fight.

Eventually, Joren decided to make a point of ignoring Kel. She had said that she didn't want to be distracted and she truly seemed to be busy with all of her duties and responsibilities, so Joren tried to push all thoughts of getting together with her from his mind. He stopped addressing her directly and he barely glanced at her during the banquets or their later suppers. Joren even stayed away from the stables when he saw Kel enter them and he kept his distance when he saw her in the practice yards.

Joren's main irritation came from the fact that he longed to talk to Kel - and to kiss her again - especially whenever he saw her standing near Cleon. Occasionally, he'd spy on Kel when she and her friends walked back to her tent after their late suppers. It was somewhat gratifying to see that Neal, Merric and Owen never left Kel alone with Cleon. And due to the tall redhead's increased grumpiness, he was certain that Cleon hadn't been able to kiss Kel again or to ask her about courting. Still, it was torture for Joren to watch Kel's friends gathered around her, always talking and laughing together.

* * *

_The tournament, held just before Kel's sixteenth birthday _**(A/N: Here's one of Tammy's 'infamous' time jumps!)**_, was educational. It was also the first time Kel squired for Raoul in the traditional way. Since Raoul was scheduled to joust in the afternoon, she had all morning to inspect, clean and polish his armor and that of his warhorse, black Drum._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

-----------------------

Any day now, Joren expected Cleon to start crowing about his conquest of Keladry of Mindelan. He'd heard that the Mindelan family managed to have their quiet little birthday celebration for Kel and that Sir Inness had taken his squire with him to the event. Most betrothals only occurred after a squire gained knighthood, but Joren wouldn't be surprised if the Baron of Mindelan agreed to an early match between Cleon and Kel. Oddly, no such announcements or even rumors of a courtship or a betrothal came out after Kel's birthday. Joren assumed that they were being as secretive as he would have been if he could court Kel; he knew she was good at keeping quiet about a lot of things.

Instead of brooding about Kel's probable preference for Cleon, Joren decided to work harder to prepare for his sword matches during the tournament. He performed quite well; winning seven out of nine contests and coming in second place overall to a much older and very experienced knight. It felt good when his father and Sir Paxton expressed their pride in his abilities and victories. Unfortunately, Lord Burchard tainted his praise by mentioning that Lady Gwendolyn had been quite impressed with Joren's swordsmanship, too.

Joren was getting an increasingly uneasy feeling about the amount of time his father seemed to be spending with the young widow. He knew that his parents' marriage wasn't a very happy one, but it was extremely irritating to think about his father's probable activities behind his mother's back. Joren then decided to spend a bit more of his free time visiting with Lady Virryn to keep up her spirits.

"I received a very nice letter from Lady Catania of Meron," Joren's mother told him one afternoon. "We attended the convent school together long ago when we were girls. She said that when I arrive in Persopolis, she's planning to have a little gathering of the other northern ladies who live there."

"That sounds pleasant, Mother," Joren replied, glad that she had something she looked forward to doing. "I hope you'll enjoy your stay in the desert. I know I certainly miss the place. It'll be good for me to go back there for a while and stay with you while you're getting settled into the villa."

"Lady Catania also writes that she's looking forward to meeting you," Lady Virryn continued, "She says that her nephew has spoken of you from time to time when he's visited her. Are you acquainted with Sir Giles of Meron?"

"Yes, I know him." Joren nodded, "Sir Giles and his former knight-master, Sir Khalid al Jumah, took over the desert post when Sir Paxton and I departed."

It had been a long time since Joren had thought about Giles and the way the young knight constantly flirted with Kel. He allowed his mind to wander while his mother spoke of her plans to plant a small garden at the villa. He heard her happily chatting about how her friend promised to show her which flowers, as well as vegetables and fruits, grew the best in the hot, dry climate. Joren's day had been going quite well until memories of all the other males who'd flirted with Kel flooded his mind. Now he felt more irritated than ever.

* * *

_The progress crawled south, then east. Kel discovered far more was planned than the introduction of the heir's foreign bride-to-be and the production of noble spectacles. At the heart of every camp was a complex of tents where work was done: a new census, a survey of roads for a new up-to-date map, and a study of local laws and medicines._

_... She continued to refuse offers to compete. Raoul did it because he was challenged to fight at every stop and didn't mind showing people that his reputation was well earned. Kel was happy just to assist him and cheer when he rode Drum onto the tilting field._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

-----------------------

As the extremely irritating journey dragged on, Joren discovered that many of the conservative noblemen considered him to be somewhat of a hero for taking action against Keladry of Mindelan. They thought it was shameful that 'The Girl' still lived among honorable men and pretended to their ways. He did not know what to say to them when they offered their condolences for the way the trial ended. Several knights offered to challenge the upstart lady squire in his place after he explained that he was not allowed to joust or spar against her during the tournaments.

One evening, after an early banquet service and supper, Joren visited one of the many 'pub' tents with some of his father's younger acquaintances. He graciously accepted several rounds of ale from the men and listened to their drunken stories of skirmishes along the Scanran border and battles against an assortment of immortal beasts. It was getting late when one of the knights, Voelden of Tirrsmont convinced Ansil of Groten that they should go teach the pretentious lady squire a lesson or two. At the very least, they decided they should tell 'The Girl' how much she shamed herself and all decent females in the realm by trying to be so much like a man.

Joren wasn't sober, but he had enough awareness of the situation to realize the danger that Kel could be in, especially if her overprotective knight-master wasn't around to shoo away the inebriated knights. He decided he'd better accompany Ansil and Voelden to make sure things didn't get out of control - perhaps he'd even get the chance to ask Kel about her courtship with Cleon. Surely she owed him an explanation about that.

When they finally found their way to the part of the camp inhabited by the King's Own, they discovered that Kel wasn't in her tent. The three men sobered up slightly while they walked between the rows of tents, hoping to spot 'The Girl' when she returned to the area. They all recognized Lord Raoul's standard bearer, Lerant of Eldorne, and Ansil became indignant when the young man challenged them and told them they shouldn't be there.

Kel showed up after Ansil already had punched Lerant for being insolent. The standard bearer bristled when she tried to defend him and the Groten knight continued to speak against those who supported any female's unnatural quest for knighthood. Joren felt very uncomfortable when his friends sang his praises, but he now was confident that nothing truly bad would happen that night. The knights were full of indignant bluster and not much else.

Surprisingly, Kel - who'd declined to enter her name on the lists so far -agreed to joust against Ansil in retaliation for the knight's insults against Lord Raoul. Lerant just sat there glaring at Joren, which made the blond squire wonder if there was anything more between the Eldorne whelp and 'The Girl' than just sharing a knight-master. Joren's ale-muddled mind was convinced that Lerant had flirted with Kel, too, and he allowed his jealousy and frustration to irritate him almost to the point of rage.

When Ansil stalked off to enter his and Kel's names on the lists, Joren and Voelden followed quickly behind him. They had wasted enough time with all the chatter and they had to hurry if Ansil was going to get to the tournament clerk before the lists were closed for the next day. The blond squire didn't realize that he had a vengeful smirk on his face when he looked back at Kel.

* * *

_Something had gripped Kel's tongue to make her most un-Yamani-ly frank. "You called my knight-master a dolt," she continued. "I accept that you wished you'd kept quiet. You called Lerant of Eldorne cur and traitor. You will apologize to him, before witnesses, or we shall return here tomorrow and you can test my skill with a sword. Understand?"_

_Ansil muttered something, until Kel thumped his shoulder lightly with the butt of her lance. He glared at her. "You won't live until the Ordeal," he snarled. "One of us will spear you through your bitch's heart. I will apologize to Eldorne - need you be a witness?"_

_"No," she said. "But make sure one of your witnesses tells me he saw and heard you do it, today." She turned Peachblossom, wanting to get away from this man and his poison._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

-----------------------

It was extremely irritating for Joren to have to listen to all the excuses and the complaining from Ansil while he and Voelden assisted the defeated knight back to his tent. Voelden declared that he would invite the wench to joust the next day. Joren cringed on the inside. Men like Ansil and Voelden had been hoping for a chance to pound 'The Girl' and send her away broken or dead. Now Joren knew that several other conservative knights would come forward and challenge Kel and he wouldn't be able to stop them.

On the one hand, Joren felt a certain level of satisfaction that Kel would now pay the price for choosing Cleon over him. He had seen the tall redheaded squire visiting Kel's tent without all their other friends by his side and figured that they were just being secretive about their courtship. If Kel had given Joren any indication that she'd rather let _him_ be her main 'distraction,' he felt he could have protected her somehow. He was extremely irritated that his heart still felt hurt by her choice.

On the other hand, Joren struggled to contain his excitement over Kel's victory against Sir Ansil of Groten. Once the squire had sobered up, he realized what had happened during the confrontation between Lerant and the knights - Kel finally agreed to joust in front of everyone. He remembered the way she trained with Lord Raoul and he knew better than any of these grumbling men that Kel's knight-master had prepared her quite well for this moment. That morning, Joren secretly placed a bet against the Groten knight and he'd just won a lot of money, thanks to Kel.

Unfortunately, now Joren was required to play a part that he didn't feel much like playing. Many of his father's friends had rallied around Joren as their 'mascot' of taking action against Keladry of Mindelan. Joren was certain that Kel would think he was lower than dirt when he showed up at her tent to deliver the message that Ansil had apologized to Lerant as she'd demanded. She also wouldn't be happy to hear about the other knights who planned to challenge her as soon as possible.

Joren waited until he saw Kel returning from the women's bath house. Her freshly cut hair was still wet and he felt an odd desire to tousle it until it was dry. She was wearing a well-worn tan shirt and brown breeches, as well as comfortable-looking boots. He suddenly longed to spin her around in his arms and hold her close enough to smell her clean, freshly-washed scent. Instead, Joren calmly strolled closer to her tent and called out her name before she entered it. Kel looked genuinely surprised to see him.

"Joren?" Kel asked cautiously, "What are you doing here?"

Joren stopped a few feet away from her and said, "I ... I'm here to deliver a message. It's from Sir Ansil of Groten - he's apologized to Lerant of Eldorne. I told him I wouldn't mind being the one to inform you that it's all done."

"I see." Kel said coolly. "And why, of all people, would he send _you_?"

"Well, he's a friend ... of my father," Joren admitted, "But I wanted to come here ... anyway. May I talk to you for a moment, Kel - privately?"

Kel looked around, but no one else seemed to be nearby. It appeared that Lord Raoul was not in his tent, either. Joren suppressed a smile - no 'chaperones' were present. Perhaps this was his lucky day. Perhaps he'd finally have enough time to say everything to Kel that he hoped to say before anyone interrupted them. She sighed and nodded her head and led him inside her tent, but she left the door flap open.

"Would you care for some juice?" she offered politely, "I'm going to have some." And she poured a cup of the cool liquid from the pitcher on her camp desk.

"No, thanks," Joren replied and looked toward the open tent flap. "There's not much time, but I had to see you."

"You sound rather serious," Kel observed, "Have you been able to clear up everything with ... the person you've been protecting since the trial?

"Oh, that? Um ... no, not yet." Joren hastily admitted as he turned toward her, "I ... we haven't been in contact since I joined the Progress."

"Then why did you want to see me?" Kel looked confused. "I thought we couldn't discuss anything further until you're ready to tell ... everything."

Joren looked back at the open flap again, "I wanted to ... to warn you - as a friend."

"Warn me?" Kel sounded somewhat alarmed, "Is Ansil of Groten going to come after me again tonight?"

"Oh, not Ansil. I don't think he'll bother you again." Joren answered and took a step toward her, "Kel ... you were ... you were great today. Really, truly ... great. But now ... now other knights, like Voelden of Tirrsmont, will come and challenge you. It's not my idea, but they think ... well, they think they're doing me a favor because I'm not ... we're not ... allowed to fight each other."

Kel stared at Joren for a long while before she spoke in a quiet, tightly controlled voice, "It's never _your_ idea, Joren. These new ... challenges, you say ... aren't your idea. The whole kidnapping scheme and Balor's Needle weren't your ideas. I'll bet it's not even your idea to marry the widow, Lady Gwendolyn of Haltkindle, either. Tell me, _friend_, who is it that does all of your thinking for you, since you never seem to be the one with any ideas?"

Joren opened his mouth but then closed it very quickly. He stood there like a statue, still processing Kel's statements in his confused mind. He couldn't believe what she'd just said. _Marry Lady Gwendolyn?_ Where would she get such an absurd idea? Why would Kel think he'd even _consider_ marring a woman who was _nine years_ older than him?

"Kel ... I ... I don't understand what you're talking about," Joren began, "I'm not marrying anyone - certainly not Lady Gwendolyn. Where did you hear such a thing?"

"My cousin, Tressa of Seabeth and Seajen, told me," Kel said casually, "You might remember her from my sister's wedding. Anyway, she's one of the Queen's Royal Ladies now and she knows everything that's happening at Court."

"Ah, you've been listening to Court gossip," Joren sounded disgusted, "Really, Kel, I thought you knew better than to believe everything you hear from a bunch of silly ladies."

"Those so-called 'silly' ladies often know more than you men think - and they're often quite correct." Kel regarded Joren with disdain, "I suggest you review those Rules of Courtly Love again - it sounds like you'll need to know them sooner rather than later."

Joren sniffed, "I highly doubt that." He didn't like the tone of this conversation, but now he was curious about Kel's 'information' and asked, "What makes you say such a thing?"

"Joren, the whole Court knows that your father has accompanied Lady Gwendolyn to see every one of your contests during this tournament season. She seems to be quite interested in you." Then Kel shrugged, "Besides, Tressa told me that the lady in question has been to see one of the royal healers to verify that she is still able to bear children."

Joren felt like he'd just been pole-axed. He was quite certain that Lady Gwendolyn and his father were having an affair because his mother's constant sadness confirmed it. Lord Burchard couldn't possibly believe that Joren would acquiesce to such a mismatch between him and the much-older woman. He knew his father was desperate for more heirs, but how could he have misunderstood the lady's intentions? This information wasn't merely irritating; it was alarming.

"That's ... that's got to be a ridiculous rumor!" Joren exclaimed. "I don't know what games my father and Lady Gwendolyn are playing, but I do know that you and Cleon are ... are ... _sneaking_ around, pretending you're not courting when you really are. I know that he asked you about it back at Midwinter. Your family absolutely adores him and..."

"We're not courting," Kel interrupted quietly, "I told him the same thing I told you: I don't want to be distracted from my goals to earn my shield and become a knight. Cleon is ... we're just ... good friends for now."

"For now?" Joren's eyebrows rose, "What happens if you become a knight? Which of us will become your main 'distraction' then? Or is all the waiting really just some big lie?"

"_If_ I become a knight?" Now Kel sounded irritated. "How ... how can you say that? And what makes you think that ... that I've _ever_ lied to you, Joren?"

Joren studied Kel's face and felt disappointed when he saw that her hazel eyes were more brown than green. "I know you've lied to me because I heard Cleon tell your friends about the times he's kissed you. And I've seen him with you - alone - plenty of times."

"So you just assumed that Cleon and I are ... that we're ... Mithros, Joren!" Kel poured herself some juice and drank it all down, refilled her cup and glared at him.

"And what about those lies you told me in the library?" Joren wasn't done with his accusations, "Remember when you told me that _I_ taught you how to kiss me like that? I'll bet Cleon's had his share of 'lessons' with you."

"That's a bet you'd lose," Kel said coldly, "Cleon might have kissed me that way, but I didn't return the same kisses. I meant it when I told you I'd never kissed anyone like that before."

Kel continued to stare at Joren and he thought she looked just as hurt and confused as he felt. Then she crossed over to the corner of her tent, pulled out a piece of paper from under her pillow, and held it out to show him. Joren came over to look at it and saw that it was the beginning of a letter, addressed to him.

"I've tried writing to you, but I didn't know what to say so I never could finish a letter," Kel admitted sadly as she waved the paper in front of him, "You hardly ever talk to me when we're serving at the banquets and I never see you in the stables or the practice courts. I just thought ... well, since you had a _real_ lady, I thought you'd ... laugh at me and my ... girlish kisses now. And then you were out there with your conservative friends, bullying Lerant ..."

"I truly regret that whole incident," Joren blurted out. "We'd all had a bit too much to drink and I didn't want anything bad to happen to you and then there _you_ were, defending Lerant - and yourself - rather well. And today, you won your first official jousting contest."

Suddenly, it occurred to Joren that they each had misunderstood just about everything they or someone else thought they heard or saw. Kel obviously came to the same conclusion and she shook her head slowly. She put away the unfinished letter and turned to him again. They were standing very close in the corner of her tent.

"Honestly, I'm not courting Lady Gwendolyn, Kel," Joren said and he watched in awe as the irises of Kel's eyes began to change colors, "I think there's been a terrible misunderstanding."

Kel wiped her palms on her breeches and said, "And Cleon truly isn't courting me, either, Joren. I think--"

She didn't get to finish her statement because Joren, once again after such a long time, covered her mouth with his kisses. Kel didn't even pretend to resist and they wrapped their arms around each other and held each other tightly. Their kisses grew more and more intense until--

"Kel?" Raoul called. He was coming through the entryway that connected their tents. "Are you in there?"

Joren quickly sprang away from Kel, sat down at the camp desk and picked up Kel's cup. He had just finished taking a big gulp of the fruit juice when Raoul entered Kel's tent. The highly observant knight-commander looked from his squire to Joren and back again and shook his head in amazement. It was almost like the bruise balm 'incident' all over again.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Squire Joren," Raoul sounded amused as Joren stood up again and bowed to him, "I was wondering when you'd grace us with your presence again. Surely, you didn't drop by to tend to my victorious squire's bruises. No, I'll bet Ansil of Groten sent you to deliver his message of mission accomplishment with regard to his apology. It's a good thing he doesn't know you the way we do - right, Kel?"

Kel nodded and Joren could see that she realized her blushing face and swollen lips had given them away. Raoul knew the two squires' strange history too well by now to be fooled by their current 'casual' positions in the tent. He stood there grinning like a self-satisfied cat until Joren finished the juice and thanked Kel for her time and hospitality. Then Joren bowed again and exited the tent.

Nothing could spoil Joren's good mood the rest of that week. He and Kel continued to behave coolly toward each other during the banquet services, but that was for the best because so many people kept congratulating the lady squire on her jousting victories - mostly against the blond squire's conservative acquaintances. It was extremely irritating to both Kel and Joren that they never had another private moment together. So they made the most of every opportunity to 'steal' kisses from each other in the dark corners of the stables whenever they could.

* * *

_The progress moved on. At each new tournament location, Kel was offered a match with someone. Once she learned that a refusal meant someone would disrupt time with her friends to slap her with a glove and challenge her, she accepted the matches when proposed. _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

-----------------------

As the summer drew to a close, Joren knew that his time with the Progress also was coming to an end. After the next tournament ended, he and his mother would travel to Persopolis. When he wasn't competing in the sword or pole-arms contests, Joren enjoyed watching Kel's matches, even though he had to pretend to cheer on her opponents. He was glad they weren't allowed to fight each other because she'd become quite the competitor. Joren always placed secret bets on Kel winning, even though she sometimes lost.

Vinson of Genlith and his knight-master, Sir Nualt of Rosemark, finally joined the Progress at its current stop. Once again, Joren's father had arranged for him and Sir Paxton to stay at the same inn where he and Lady Virryn would be staying. Vinson's knight-master also preferred to stay in town, so the two squires agreed to meet at a local tavern before they had to prepare for that evening's banquet service. Now Joren regretted that decision.

Swirling around the ale in his tankard, Joren never felt so much like throttling someone as he did at that moment. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to convince his old friend to cooperate. Not only was Vinson unwilling to confess his part in the kidnapping, but he also refused to listen to the reasons Joren wanted to clear up everything before they faced the Chamber of the Ordeal.

"Vinson, I believe we're courting disaster here," Joren had reiterated, "And I don't think that either one of us should go into the Chamber of the Ordeal with this ... this situation unresolved."

"I don't care what you think," Vinson sneered back at him, "From what I hear, disaster is the only thing you _can_ court. Besides, you're just a _probationary_ squire now, and so you might not have to worry about entering the Chamber at all."

Joren had felt the color drain from his face, "How ... how did you know that? No one is supposed to know that!"

"Your father was ranting rather loudly to my uncle last year after the advocate told him how badly you ruined your trial," Vinson's smug smirk taunted Joren. "He was appalled when Lord Wyldon informed him of your probationary status. Apparently, you can barely read or write - but we already knew about that sad state of affairs from our page years didn't we, _pretty boy_?"

Joren inwardly flinched at that hated nickname, but he kept outwardly calm and didn't interrupt the spiteful squire sitting across from him. He had hoped that the time away from each other would do Vinson some good. After all, Joren felt that the time he'd spent with Sir Paxton in the desert had changed his own life for the better. He still wasn't ready to face the Chamber of the Ordeal, but at least he now understood the seriousness of their situation.

"You know, there's never been a probationary squire." Vinson continued in a mocking tone of voice, "What an _honor_ that must be for you! And the dishonorable amount of the fine you had to pay to the Lump was a complete embarrassment to your father and to your family's good name. Lord Burchard went on and on and on about that. I just happened to overhear all those conversations."

"So that's how you know all this private information - you've been eavesdropping." Joren narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice. "What have you been telling other people about me?"

Vinson casually glanced at his fingernails and picked at them, "Nothing," he said and then he fixed Joren with a meaningful glare, "At least, not yet. But that could change if you keep insisting on these lunatic ravings of yours."

"Lunatic rav--" Joren hissed angrily. "Listen, I'm not the crazy one here, Vinson. The Chamber _knows_ things - things that you've done already, as well as things that you're planning to do. It knows the dark places of your twisted mind and I promise you, those things never will come to pass. I won't allow them."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Joren," Vinson lowered his voice menacingly, "But you'd better stay out of my way from now on. You're lucky to still be a squire at all, _probationer_. The way I figure it, you're hardly better than the Lump now. I'm warning you, Joren, if you ever renege on any of our previous arrangements, I'll expose all of your secrets and lies - and your father's, too. Then we'll all see just what comes to pass."

"_Fine_." Joren glowered at Vinson, "If that's how you want this to end, then I'll just leave you to your own conscience. But I'm going to do what _I_ have to do to be ready to face the Chamber and restore the honor you seem to think I've lost."

"Honor? What honor? You barely ever had any honor to lose," Vinson scoffed. "You'd just better remember to leave my name out of anything you say or do - like the agreement between your family and mine says you'll do. Otherwise, you'll be acting without any honor at all and you _will_ be sorry." Then he'd pushed back his chair and walked out of the tavern, leaving Joren to pay for their food and drinks.

Later that night, Joren lay on his cot and thought about his aggravating conversation with Vinson. He dreaded the return of the nightmares of the Chamber's awful images of Vinson and Kel and her maid on Balor's Needle. He hadn't had any bad dreams for quite a while and he tried to shut out those thoughts. No matter what happened in the future, Joren knew he could not let those visions become realities. He only hoped that when he escorted his mother south in a few days, he'd leave all of this extremely irritating journey's troubles behind him.

* * *

**A/N: Well, I hope you liked it. Again, I apologize that it took me so long to update, but I really wanted to get through most of the first part of the Progress. It's really challenging to create an AU that uses so many of the original story's conversations and settings, but in different ways. Let me know what you think of this time 'inside' Joren's head. I look forward to your reviews. Thanks! :D**


	39. A Cure for My Sadness

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I apologize, but I haven't felt like writing very much lately. Still, I'm extremely grateful for all the encouraging reviews. My 'real' life has been an emotional rollercoaster for the past couple of weeks: my father's best friend died suddenly; my father's brother was hospitalized and may need to go into an assisted-living facility; a close friend suffered a miscarriage of a much-hoped-for baby; and another friend's seventeen-year-old son died. Writing usually is therapeutic for me, but everything I wrote was so depressing that I had to do something else. Therefore, this is not actually a chapter - it's a 'cure for my sadness' because it's a list of all the original characters I've created for this story, as well as other characters TP has mentioned who weren't in the original books. I'm currently revising the next 'real' chapter and I'm hoping to pick up the pace here again. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

**Cast of Original and Expanded Characters for 'The Only Volunteer'**

_**Author's Note: **__I've listed the characters roughly in order of appearance throughout my story and I'll continue to add on to this list and update the file whenever I introduce new characters. _**Bold lettering**_ indicates someone I created for this story. _Regular lettering_ indicates someone TP only vaguely mentioned in the books or in more detail on the Sheroes website. In some cases, I gave full names to some of TP's minor characters and only their _**first name**_ is in bold letters. I hope this will help you as you read along._

**Characters' Names**

**Perrin of Knightsbridge**: Joren's first-year page sponsor; now a knight

**Lady Anniseth of Trenell**: Joren's older half-sister; eloped with Lord Fenton of Trenell from Maren; now a citizen of Maren and the mother of two young sons

Lady **Virryn** of Stone Mountain: Joren's mother; Lord Burchard's second wife

**Molly**: Joren's childhood nursemaid; still employed as a maid at Stone Mountain

**Master Chalmers**: Mithran priest; palace headmaster of all academics; sometimes teaches classes in literature with Master Yayin

**Spencer**: Joren's elderly and loyal personal manservant; brother to Agnes, Lady Virryn's personal maid

**Lady Cordelia of Stone Mountain**: Lord Burchard's first wife; Anniseth's mother; died at a young age

**Lord Fenton of Trenell**: former Marenite diplomat; eloped with Anniseth of Stone Mountain; moved back to Maren; now the father of two young sons

Lady Vivienne of Cavall: (mentioned on Sheroes website) Lord Wyldon's wife; talented breeder of prize-winning horses and dogs; mother of four lively daughters

Margarry of Cavall: (mentioned on Sheroes website) Lord Wyldon's youngest daughter; has special talent of picking which animals will breed best together; currently attending the convent school

**Odette of Cavall**: Lord Wyldon's oldest daughter; already presented to the Royal Court; currently betrothed to be married

**Celine of Cavall**: Lord Wyldon's second daughter; already presented to the Royal Court; currently one of the Royal Ladies who ride with the queen

**Cordelia of Cavall**: Lord Wyldon's third daughter; already presented to the Royal Court; currently living at home and helping her mother

Merovec of Nond: (mentioned on Sheroes website) also known as Mero; married to Adalia of Mindelan; Paxton of Nond's younger half-brother; scholar; father of a baby boy named Francis, in honor of his deceased older brother

**Shadow Dancer**: Joren's bay mare; a Cavall-bred and fully-trained warhorse

**Tansy**: royal bake mistress; won the palace servants' betting pool on Kel returning for her second year as a page

**Lord Dennyson of Nond**: elderly father of Paxton and Merovec, as well as the deceased Francis; brother to the family matriarch, Lady Florzile

**Gertrude** of Kennan: also known as Gertie; Cleon's older sister; Rider with the Thirteenth Rider Group, which is stationed near the desert outpost formerly commanded by Sir Paxton of Nond

**Tressa of Seabeth and Seajen**: Kel's cousin; already presented to the Royal Court; currently one of the Royal Ladies who ride with the queen

**Rhiannon haMinch**: General Vanget haMinch's daughter; almost betrothed to Joren, but the deal fell through when Joren went to trial for kidnapping Kel's maid

Ortien of Hannalof: (mentioned on Sheroes website) married to Oranie of Mindelan; Uline's brother

Sir Gelvan haMinch: (mentioned on Sheroes website) married to Demadina of Mindelan (mentioned on Sheroes website); father of three children

**Lady Gwendolyn of Haltkindle**: wealthy young widow; mother of Kalven of Haltkindle, a boy who will enter page training soon; Lord Burchard's mistress; possibly Joren's future betrothed

**Sir Khalid al Jumah**: Bazhir knight; younger brother to the headman of the Sunset Dragon tribe; current commander of the desert outpost formerly commanded by Paxton of Nond

**Sir Giles of Meron**: new knight; formerly squire to Sir Khalid al Jumah; cousin of Sir Geoffrey of Meron

**Mariel** of Queenscove: (mentioned in First Test) also known as Mari; Neal's sister; same age as Kel; already presented to the Royal Court

**Lailah**: Bazhir healer woman; originally a member of the Bloody Hawk tribe; married into the Sunset Dragon tribe

Sir** Langdon** of Stone Mountain: Joren's uncle; Lord Burchard's younger brother; commands the army garrison located at Fief Stone Mountain

**Lord Kinrath of Seabeth and Seajen**: Kel's uncle; Lady Ilane's brother; Tressa's father

**Lord Conal of Seabeth and Seajen**: deceased father of Kinrath and Ilane; Kel's and Tressa's grandfather

**Kalven of Haltkindle**: Lady Gwendolyn's ten-year-old son; sole heir to Fief Haltkindle

**Lady Catania of Meron**: Sir Giles and Sir Geoffrey's aunt; Lady Virryn's friend from her convent school days; lives in Persopolis

**Agnes**: Lady Virryn's loyal personal maid since before she was was married to Lord Burchard; sister to Spencer, Joren's manservant

**Sergeant Branford Pearlman**: Squad leader in First Company of the King's Own; son of a noblewoman and a wealthy jewel merchant; Tressa's sweetheart

**Sir Lars of Dunmoor**: Baron; Lady Virryn's only brother; Joren's uncle

**Sir Tannack of Kennan**: Baron; deceased father of Cleon

**Lady Priscilla of Kennan**: Baroness; mother of Cleon and his four sisters

-----------------

**A/N: Wow! That's a lot of original characters! Writing this list has cheered me up considerably; I didn't realize I'd created so many other people. Again, I'll update this list whenever I add new characters. I truly appreciate everyone who's continuing to read my story and I hope to make it up to y'all with more chapters very soon. Keep reading! Thanks!! :D**


	40. Autumn Letters

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I truly appreciate all the wonderful reviews with the encouraging words. Hopefully, things will get better sooner rather than later. Thanks also for hanging in there between these slower updates. I've been working on this chapter for such a long time and I finally finished rewriting it to decrease the heavy angst and depression that reflected my recent moods. I feel better, so now you can read a lot more character and plot development instead of doom and gloom. (At least you won't need a box of tissues to read through it all.) And, obviously, there are more letters. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_The leaves turned color, then fell. It got cold. The Progress crossed the Olorun just east of Corus. A tournament was set up outside Fief Blythdin, the festivities brightened by the scarlet-and-gold uniforms of the pages. Lord Wyldon had granted them a holiday of sorts. They got to observe a tournament, and the squires were freed from banquet duty as pages did the work._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Autumn Letters**

Joren enjoyed being away from the irritations of the Progress. He and his mother quietly celebrated his eighteenth birthday and he was glad that he'd planned to stay with her in Persopolis until it was time to return to Corus to prepare for his Ordeal. He stood on the small terrace outside of his room and the marble floor felt cool beneath his bare feet. Even though it was the middle of November, the air was still quite warm this late in the day. Joren came out every evening to watch the orange-gold sun slowly slide down beyond the edge of the desert's western horizon and he never grew tired of the view.

There were so many interesting things to do in the ancient Bazhir city. Sir Paxton had accompanied Joren and his mother on their journey south and the knight-master kept his squire busy for the duration of their stay in Persopolis. They exercised their horses and trained with a variety of weapons every morning, sometimes going to the local army garrison to spar against other knights and soldiers in order to keep their skills sharp. And they explored the city more than they'd ever done in earlier visits.

Joren had mentioned the battle plan for the defense of Persopolis that he and his group had put together for Lord Wyldon's Sunday evening lessons, so Paxton took his squire all around the city to check the feasibility of that plan. They discussed certain aspects of the plan with men who'd been stationed at the army garrison for quite a while. It was fascinating to see things the way Zahir must have envisioned them and Joren learned quite a bit more about planning a good defense for the ancient city. He was quite certain that his time away from the Progress was far more beneficial than any amount of sword fighting contests or the endless banquet services.

The best part of being away from the Progress was that Joren and Kel wrote letters to each other again. Lord Wyldon had agreed to allow the probationary squire to skip over the third statement of the ritual of knighthood on the premise that he'd learned enough about adhering to the law from his criminal trial and its aftermath. When he finished watching the sunset, Joren went back inside, read Kel's reply to his latest letter again, and sighed happily.

*************

_To Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_Fief Blythdin_

_November 10, 457 H.E._

_It was very good to get your latest letter. Please extend my greetings to Lady Virryn and to Sir Paxton. I am glad to hear that your mother is pleased with her new winter lodgings. The Bazhir villa sounds very nice. _

_It has become quite cold here. The weather mages are predicting another week or so of chilly rains and then lots of snow for the rest of the season. I certainly hope we'll have better weather for the Midwinter festivities._

_My life has become much simpler since the griffin's parents reclaimed him. I suppose I'll always have the scars from the little beast's scratches and bites, but they do seem to be fading just a little. The only injuries I have to tend to now are the ones I've received on the tilting field. _

_Today, I miraculously survived a jousting match against Lord Wyldon. He sent me flying on our third run and I landed in deep mud. Afterward, he gave me some good advice and he also asked about you. Are you still sending him your weekly status reports? _

_Your letter contained only two misspelled words: turmoil and dilemma. I was very impressed with your thoughts about the fourth statement, especially the way you explained that being bound to your honor and your word, specifically concerning certain aspects of your trial, has caused a bit of __turmoil__ in your life. I imagine that the __dilemma__ concerning the unsettled matters between you and the unnamed person is one of the most difficult things you've had to face. _

_As for your honor, I believe you still can act in such a way that you need not be ashamed when you face the Dark God. Before you begin your vigil, you could confess your knowledge of what your accomplice did, as well as the secrecy to which you were bound by oath. You wouldn't have to give any names, but you should be as detailed as possible without breaking your oath. I think that if you do this, your conscience could be clear when you enter the Chamber of the Ordeal, as well as later, when you eventually face the Dark God._

_There's only one more stop for the Progress before we all return to Corus, so you should send any future correspondence to the palace. I look forward to your next letter. I also look forward to seeing you again when you return for your Ordeal. _

_Regards,_

_Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

*************

Joren folded the letter and put it away. Once again, he was impressed by Kel's amazing fighting skills and pleased by Kel's clever ideas. She always seemed to be able to think of interesting solutions to complex situations. It used to irritate Joren when she did great things, but now he just accepted that the realm's only female squire was quite different from anyone else he knew. And now, he appreciated those differences very much.

* * *

In exchange for a solemn promise to attend each and every royal ball and royal party of the Midwinter season, Lord Raoul convinced the king to allow Third Company to escort the senior squires back to the palace a full week before the main body of the Progress returned. Prince Roald and Cleon and the rest of their year-mates were grateful that they'd have a little extra time prior to the beginning of the Midwinter festivities to prepare for their Ordeals of Knighthood. They would spend their last days as squires receiving final instructions from Lord Wyldon, cleaning and polishing their personal armor and equipment, and contemplating what the Chamber might throw at them.

Kel was quite happy to be away from the chaos of the Progress, too, even if it meant dragging her knight-master to all those social events to ensure that he kept his end of his bargain with the king. Once she finished grooming the mud and muck from the horses, as well as the equipment and travel gear, she headed for the women's bath house. There were public bath houses in most of the towns where the Progress had stopped, but Kel looked forward to seeing familiar faces and catching up on local gossip from the friendly attendants at the palace bath house.

After a wonderful soak and a lively conversation, Kel returned to her room and was surprised to find Lalasa there, sitting in a chair by the warm hearth. As usual, the woman had a sewing needle in her hand and a basket of works-in-progress on her lap. Lalasa stood up and bobbed a curtsy, but then Kel embraced her former maid and they greeted one another like old friends. The seamstress insisted on fixing cups of steaming hot tea for them and, after she took a good look at Kel, she shook her head in amazement.

"Oh, Lady Kel, I think you've grown some more!" she exclaimed, "I knew I was right to allow for such a thing. I hope you'll like this." Lalasa held out a large, wrapped bundle.

Kel looked surprised, "Lalasa, you didn't have to--"

"I know, my lady, but I wanted to," she said shyly, "It's an early Midwinter's gift. Go ahead and open it, so I can make sure everything fits you properly."

Kel gently unwrapped her present and gasped at Lalasa's creations. She unfolded a lovely long-sleeved gown of russet red velvet, Kel's favorite color, and a hooded cloak of darker fabric with a silk lining. It didn't take Kel very long to change out of her shirt and breeches and slip the soft, plush material onto her tall, well-muscled frame.

The gown fit Kel beautifully. The cream-colored lace and ribbon accents made the low neckline seem high enough to give her a sense of modesty. The bodice of the gown performed a bit of magic to give Kel more defined curves than what nature had provided to her and although the full skirt appeared to be heavy, the material was the lightest velvet she'd ever touched. The cut of the dress was such that, if she wanted to, the lady squire could fasten her sword belt around her waist and still look somewhat ladylike. Kel's face showed her delight.

"Lady Kel!" Lalasa sounded quite pleased, "It looks just the way I imagined it would on you! All you need now are some earbobs - maybe pearls - yes, and a necklace and, oh!" Her voice caught in her throat and tears welled up in her eyes.

"Lalasa, what's wrong?" Kel was concerned. "What's the matter?"

"You ... you ... you're so b-beautiful!" Stammered the seamstress as she tried not to cry, "I always knew you'd become a lovely lady."

Kel blushed. She disliked it when Lalasa made such a fuss over any of her more womanly traits. She was grateful that the talented seamstress had been her personal maid when she went through all her 'growing pains' and needed a calm female presence in her life. Kel lifted the cloak and swirled it around onto her shoulders. It also fit perfectly and looked wonderful on her.

"It's not _me_ - it's this dress and you know it! Are you sure there's no magic involved in your dressmaking?" Kel attempted to distract Lalasa from being so emotional. "And do you really think I should get earbobs? Won't they hurt?"

Now Lalasa chuckled and wiped the remnant of a teardrop from her eye. "No, my lady. Well, not for long, anyway. Tian can pierce your earlobes anytime - I'm no good at it. Just let me know when you'd like to have them done and we'll come back."

"Oh, I'm not so sure I want earbobs," Kel shook her head and undressed again, "I rarely wear dresses these days and when I attend a ball, I'm dressed as my lord's squire, not as a lady of the Court." Once she finished tucking her shirt into her breeches she helped Lalasa hang up the new clothes and put everything away.

"If you change your mind, you know where to find me," Lalasa gathered her things and prepared to leave. "I'm so glad I got to see you before everyone else returns. We've received so many orders for special gowns and dresses this season, we'll be sewing in our sleep!"

"Please give my regards to Tian," Kel said as she opened the door for Lalasa, "I'll try to visit your shop before the Progress departs again, but I'm sure we'll see each other during the holidays. Anyway, Midwinter luck, Lalasa. And thank you."

"You're welcome, Lady Kel," Lalasa bobbed another curtsey in the hallway and called over her shoulder, "Midwinter luck to you, too."

As Kel was closing her door, a palace courier trotted toward her room and called out her name. The young man handed her a letter and she gave him some of the small coins that she kept in her desk drawer. Kel turned the sealed parchment over and smiled as she recognized the handwriting. Then she opened Joren's letter.

******************

_To Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

_Villa al-Hajar, Persopolis_

_November 20, 457 H.E._

_This is my final letter about the statements of the ritual of knighthood. Here are my thoughts on the fifth statement, which reads "You have learned the laws of Chivalry. Keep them in your heart. Use them as your guides when things are their darkest. They will not fail you if you interpret them with humanity and kindness. A knight is gentle. A knight's first duty is to understand." _

_My earliest memories about chivalry are from when I was a very young boy. My parents took me to the Great Temple of Mithros and showed me the stone tablets on which the Code is displayed there, but I couldn't read them. My mother took the time to explain each law to me. I did not enjoy studying chivalry when I was a page; however I am glad I've had the chance to review them since that time._

_As I've said before, I always wanted to be a knight. Only recently have I tried to understand the full meaning of the laws of Chivalry. We both know knights who seem to have lost their way with regard to chivalry and you've been able to beat many of them on the tilting field. It may take me more time to understand all of the laws completely, but if I survive my Ordeal, I will do my best to live up to them always. _

_I wish I could say that I'm looking forward to returning to Corus, but that would not be the truth. The desert becomes more and more appealing to me each time I am here and I'm glad that my mother plans to live in Persopolis during the colder months every year. Who needs the chilly rains or heavy snows?_

_Sir Paxton told me that we all will have another meeting with Lord Wyldon before he makes his final decisions about the end of my probation and my Ordeal. I hope you will be able to give him a good report about my writing. I like your other ideas and there are several things I want to discuss with you when I return to the palace. May the gods all bless and keep you until we meet again. _

_Regards,_

_Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

******************

Kel wondered if any of the "several things" Joren wanted to discuss with her were the persistent rumors that he would be betrothed to Lady Gwendolyn immediately after his knighting ceremony and married as soon as possible. Then Kel remembered an interesting conversation she'd had with her cousin, Tressa of Seabeth and Seajen during the Progress. Tressa had invited Kel to come with her for a ride along a nearby trail and spent most of the trip telling her all the latest gossip of the Court. When Kel told Tressa she seriously doubted that Joren would _want_ to marry the widow, her cousin chided her for being so naïve.

"Dearest Kel," Tressa said lightly as they trotted along a wooded path, "I assure you that he doesn't have a choice in the matter. Noble-born males are bartered and traded almost as much as females, except that no one cares if _they're_ virgins on their wedding nights. If Joren's father wants him to marry the widow, then that's who he'll marry. _Your_ parents are among the few that I know who've allowed your siblings to choose mates for themselves."

"Tressa, surely you're exaggerati--" Kel started.

"No, Kel, I'm not! Most of the rest of us must do as we're told, whether we like it or not," insisted the lively brunette as she slowed her horse to a walk, "You have no idea how grateful I am to the Queen for 'rescuing' me. My father almost bargained my life away to some old prune-faced lord last summer, but I threw such an enormous, unladylike tantrum in front of the entire Court, that the betrothal negotiations fell through. Then Queen Thayet told my father that she'd consider it a great kindness if he'd allow me to join her inner group of young ladies for a season. Thank the gods he agreed! "

"But that's so ... so ..." Kel was at a loss for words.

"Pathetic. Yes, I know." Tressa interrupted again, "Really, I think it'd be much simpler to be common-born and marry whomever you like ... or not. Did you know that commoners are even able have 'trial' marriages. They can just go to the Temple of the Goddess with a set of ribbons, complete the handfasting ritual, and if they don't like each other after a year and a day, they go back to the temple, reverse the process and go on about their merry way. Now _that's_ a life worth living!"

"You sound envious of the common-born," Kel looked at her cousin as though she was seeing her for the first time. "How do you know so much about all this, anyway?"

Tressa gave Kel a crooked grin and leaned toward her, "I met someone. He's from a wealthy merchant family, but his mother's family is noble. Sergeant Branford Pearlman - Bran - is the most handsome, charming and thoughtful man. He's with the First Company of the King's Own. We met at the beginning of the Progress and he's, well ... I like him very much."

"Tressa, you can't be thinking of ..." Kel sounded alarmed, "You wouldn't dare do something so foolish, such as _marrying _behind your father's back."

"Oh, wouldn't I?" Tressa arched one eyebrow at Kel, "Handfasting is valid in all of the Eastern Lands. Bran told me that's how his parents ended up together. Once his mother's family discovered she no longer was a virgin - and thus no longer desirable for a noble match - they left her alone with the love of her life. They had a temple wedding before the first year was done and they've been happy together ever since. If Bran and I--"

Kel interrupted her, "But Tressa, once Bran is married, he can't stay in the Own. Soldiers aren't allowed to have wives! What would you do for money? What if your father disowns you? Uncle Kinrath is not known for his tolerance. How would you live?"

"Who cares about all that?" Tressa sounded exasperated, "I _told_ you - Bran's family is wealthy; their primary trade is in fine jewels and jewelry. Besides, my father has done all of his negotiating behind _my_ back, so it would serve him right if I marry the man of my choice behind _his_ back. Everyone my father's wanted to match me with has been old and decrepit. Can you imagine me with someone like that? Truthfully, I'd rather die than marry an elderly fool who wants my young _womb_ just so that he can get more heirs."

"Tressa!" Kel was appalled and distressed by her cousin's statements. "How can you say such a thing?"

"Easily! Thanks to my father's choices, both of my sisters are married to men who are almost twice their age. Someday they may become wealthy widows like Lady Gwendolyn, but today they're just unhappy mothers," Tressa explained in a bitter tone of voice, "Money and prestige are the only things my father cares about. I don't have your freedom, Kel."

"My freedom?" snorted Kel, "I don't know if 'freedom' is the correct name for the endless hours of training and the contests and the fighting both with and against males who rather kick me than kiss me."

"Ah, yes, but according to the Lioness, _you_ can marry for love," Tressa declared, "Just like she did or you can decide not to marry at all. If I have only this one chance to marry for love, I'd be a fool not to take it - no matter what the consequences might be."

Kel knew that she'd get no further with her stubborn cousin, so she pounced on the one piece of information her brain could handle at that moment, "You spoke with Sir Alanna? I've never had the chance to have a private conversation with her. What's she really like?"

"Oh, that's right - you can't talk to her. By the way, the queen still thinks it's ridiculous that the king won't allow his champion to be around you or help you in any way," Tressa sounded less upset now, "Honestly, Kel, Alanna the Lioness isn'tthe way you'd expect her to be. She actually wears beautiful gowns to supper most of the time she's at Court and she wears earbobs all the time, even under her helmet when she's wearing armor. She and the queen often ride together and talk with each other for hours. I like her; she's quite fascinating."

Kel nodded and sighed. She knew she'd eventually get the opportunity to have a real discussion with the realm's only lady knight, but probably not until _after_ she earned her shield. The cousins turned their horses around and headed back to the stables. They parted ways and Kel returned to the tent city to prepare for the evening banquet. She truly felt privileged to have Lord Raoul as her knight-master, but Kel still longed for the kind of womanly advice she knew only Lady Alanna could give her.

Even though that conversation had taken place over a week ago, Kel kept thinking about all the bits and pieces of information she'd heard both from Tressa and from other people. She shuddered at the rumors about Joren's probable betrothal and the harsh reality of many noble matches. Then she smiled at the thought of the realm's only lady knight wearing earbobs all the time and dresses whenever she could. If the Lioness did those things, maybe she should, too. Perhaps she'd allow Tian to pierce her ears after all.

* * *

Joren enjoyed his last few days of the relaxed atmosphere at the villa. Usually, after he watched the sunset and dressed for supper, Joren would go to his knight-master's room and escort him down to the small dining room. Lady Virryn, who truly seemed to be in much better spirits ever since they all had arrived in the desert city, would greet them warmly and inform the servants that they could bring in the meal. Joren wondered if his mother's mood was related to the way she took charge of her new winter home once they settled in.

One of the first things Lady Virryn had done was to hire an entirely new household staff. The only servant she retained was her personal maid, Agnes, who'd been with her since before she was married. Agnes also was the sister to Spencer, Joren's personal manservant, who was back in Corus preparing the town house for their Midwinter stay. Joren hadn't quite understood the reason for all of the changes until three days prior to their departure to return north, when he received an intriguing letter from his half-sister, Anniseth.

*************

_Dear Joren,_

_Greetings from Maren, little brother! We all are fine here. My husband, Lord Fenton, is considering a new foreign posting to the Yamani Islands. That would be very exciting, but my sons must grow a bit more before we travel so far away from our wonderful home at Trenell. _

_I trust that this letter will find you in a timely manner. One of my husband's diplomatic associates recently delivered some fascinating bits of gossip from the Tortallan Court concerning our esteemed sire. Contrary to the rumors, I find it difficult to believe that our father truly means for you to wed the widow. I am convinced that it is my noble duty to tell you the following story in the hope that you will understand:_

_Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little girl who lived in a beautiful mountain castle with her beautiful parents. Her father was tall and strong, but her mother was not. Healers told the mother that she might feel better if she lived by the sea again, so the father took the mother back to her family's home fief on the coast. The little girl went with her mother while her father stayed behind. Sadly, the mother never recovered from her illness and she died. When the little girl returned to the mountain castle, her father had a new beautiful wife, who looked almost like her own mother. Soon enough, there was a new baby boy in the mountain castle and the little girl's father ignored her until she was old enough for marriage. All of this made the little girl very sad and very angry and when she grew up, she married a foreign nobleman and moved far, far away from her father and his family. She became part of a new family and then she and her children lived happily ever after. The end._

_Amazingly, our father has been married to your mother now for more than twice as long as he was married to my mother, but I doubt that he's changed very much over the years. Ask your mother why she came to Stone Mountain in the first place and what occurred after she met our father. He probably thinks that no one remembers the events of long ago, but _I _will never forget. You are capable enough to make sure your mother has servants who are loyal only to her - especially her healers. Be careful, little brother. _

_Sincerely,_

_Lady Anniseth of Trenell_

_Kingdom of Maren_

*************

For a day and a half, Joren thought about the things that Anniseth said in her letter and he wondered if she was trying to stir up trouble, as usual. Finally, when he couldn't stand the mystery of it all, he showed the letter to his mother. Lady Virryn had been enjoying a walk in her little garden, but her face turned pale white and her hands began to shake when she read her step-daughter's letter.

"Mother, are you alright?" Joren asked worriedly as he led his mother to sit down on a stone bench. "What does Anniseth mean by all this?"

Lady Virryn closed her eyes and her voice sounded shaky, "I ... I didn't ... I didn't realize that your ... your sister ... understood so much. She ... she was so young ... and she ... rarely talked to me. She always told me ... she wouldn't allow me to be her mother. Anniseth truly hated me."

"Yes, well, she's always hated me, too," Joren said matter-of-factly, "Will you tell me what happened back then, Mother? I think it might be important now."

The pain in Lady Virryn's eyes when she opened them nearly brought tears to Joren's eyes. Physically, Joren looked almost exactly like his father, except for his embarrassingly rosy cheeks and thick eyelashes. Lord Burchard had a handsomely bearded face and intense ice-blue eyes, but Joren had his mother's smooth skin and her softer, sky-blue eyes. Unshed tears filled Virryn's eyes and she spoke slowly.

"I first came to Stone Mountain to ... to marry your Uncle Langdon, Burchard's younger brother," she began, "I was sixteen at the time and Langdon was my brother's best friend. He visited our family all the time at Fief Dunmoor, and my brother, Lars, often visited Stone Mountain. Of course, my father was quite pleased for me to make such a good match. And since your grandparents were deceased, _Lord_ Burchard threw a big party to welcome me to the family after we'd completed the betrothal agreement. Not surprisingly, your father danced with all the ladies that night and when it was my turn ... something happened and well, it didn't take long for us to figure out other ways to ... to be together."

"What about Uncle Langdon?" Joren asked, knowing he wouldn't like the answer. "What about Anniseth's mother?"

Virryn sighed. "Your father and I - we fell in love with each other on the day I arrived at the castle. We couldn't help ourselves. Burchard was - and still is - the most fascinating man I've ever met. You know how he is, Joren. He almost always gets his way, except that, well, he always wanted to have a lot of sons and he only had the one girl child. Your sister's birth had been a very difficult one for Lady Cordelia and she never fully recovered from it. The week after I arrived at Stone Mountain, she moved back to her family's home fief by the sea and took Anniseth with her."

"Then ... Anniseth's story is _true_?" Joren asked. He felt an odd chill wash over him as his mother continued to speak about the past.

"Yes, I suppose it is," she admitted as tears ran down her face, "But she only had a little girl's perspective; it's impossible for Anniseth to know everything that happened. She wasn't even there for most of it."

"Can you tell me the rest of it ... now?" Joren was beginning to feel slightly nauseous, but he knew he had to keep listening and he offered his mother a dry handkerchief.

Virryn dabbed at her now-puffy eyes and nodded. "Burchard was so ... so lonely and I ... I felt sorry for him. I was almost _relieved_ when Cordelia ... when she passed into the Peaceful Realms. I didn't think about what _might_ have happened to her. By then, I already knew that I ... I carried you inside my womb. Understandably, Langdon was devastated and he wouldn't marry me. Your uncle is a very honorable and kind man, but he didn't want to shame me, so we quietly dissolved the betrothal and your father married me as soon as he could. I was very pleased with myself for being able to give Burchard the son he desired so much - you. Unfortunately, the circumstances were not _ideal_. It was a long time before either my family or Langdon would speak to me again. And now ... and now--" She broke off as sobs racked her small frame and she covered her face with her hands.

Joren wrapped his strong arms around his mother and held her as she cried. He really didn't know what to feel. Of course, he loved his parents, and yet he was finding it more and more difficult to like them. He'd known for a long time that his father was a philandering fool, but it was very shocking to hear about his mother's youthful wantonness, too. Now he understood why Anniseth always treated him with such contempt. He probably would've behaved the same way if their roles had been reversed.

"Mother, why are you really here - in Persopolis?" Joren asked softly and, "Were you - are you - truly ill?"

She shook her head and said, "Not anymore. My sudden illness last year scared me, but Agnes was very suspicious. She secretly brought in a different healer - someone your father didn't know - who helped me recover quickly. Anniseth isn't the only one who ... who remembers things. I'm sure Burchard will be surprised to hear that I've made a full recovery and that I'm feeling so much better now. I came down here, Joren, so that I can plan for and insure my own safety. "

"Mother, you don't think--" Joren's head was reeling from his mother's implications. "Surely he wouldn't--"

"No, son," Virryn had regained her usual calm exterior, "But when it comes to your father, I'm not sure of anything anymore. He wants what he wants and he usually gets it. I'm not proud of what I did long ago, but I'm also not foolish enough to ignore what I see happening in front of my own eyes now. I always thought ... we were so certain that there would be more of you - sons, I mean. Five years ago, the healers told us ... they told us to ... to stop trying." She reached up and caressed the side of Joren's face. "So you're my only one. You're all that I have or ever will have."

Joren's eyes stung now, but he willed himself not to shed any tears. He knew he needed to be strong for his mother, regardless of her past actions. He also knew he'd have to do something more to help protect her from his father's schemes. Joren almost choked on his next few questions.

"Mother, this is important," he began, "Do you know anything about Lady Gwendolyn and ... and my father? And do you truly believe that Father has plans - plans to make me marry her?"

"I'm not _that_ naïve; I've known about ... about them for quite a while," Virryn stated bitterly. "After we discovered I couldn't give Burchard any more sons, I figured he might try to ... to set me aside someday for someone with a young, fertile womb. For all I know, the lady may already be pregnant; your father certainly wants the widow to become a member of our household as soon as possible. The servants told me that he asked your Uncle Langdon to marry her right away and that their heated conversation almost ended in a duel. I suppose he sees you as the next most logical choice to insure that his ... his new child won't be born a bastard."

Joren closed his eyes and swallowed to keep from vomiting. This was a nightmare -- it had to be worse than anything the Chamber possibly could throw at him. How could his father do this to him? To his mother? To Uncle Langdon - again? Joren's head was pounding and he felt sick, but he asked his mother one final question.

"What do you think will happen...," he paused to force the bile back down his throat, "What if I ... _refuse_ to go along with his plans?"

"Only the gods know that, Joren," Lady Virryn shook her head slowly, "Only the gods know."

* * *

It was cold and foggy on the third day after Kel had been back, and the mists of the early morning clung to her and dragged her spirits down with the dampness. She would be glad when the Yamani ladies were back at the palace so she could attend morning glaive practice with them again. Until then, she just finished her exercises and then went for a short run around the curtain wall. She was soaked to the skin by the time she finished.

Kel's heart leapt for joy when she got back to her room and she discovered a folded note on her desk. At first, Kel had a huge smile on her face when she unfolded the parchment and recognized Joren's handwriting - he was here in the palace now! But when she read the short note, both her smile and her joy faded quickly as she began to understand what his words meant.

*************

_K. --_

_By the time you read this note, I will have given my full confession. I will explain why later, but I know it's the right thing for me to do now. I doubt that I will be allowed to go through with my Ordeal this year. We have much to discuss before I leave again, so I hope to see you as soon as possible. Please try to understand. _

_-- J._

*************

Kel cleaned up as fast as she could and put on dry clothes. Then she knocked on Lord Raoul's door and waited for him open it. She showed her knight-master the note from Joren and watched him intently as his face turned grim and his lips tightened into a thin line. Raoul hesitated for only a moment. Then he silently nodded at Kel and they both left their rooms to find Lord Wyldon - and, hopefully, Joren.

* * *

**A/N: Please don't flame me for writing such an evil cliffy! Yes, I know I'm cruel - my daughter reminds me of this every time I make her do her chores. Thank you to abyssgirl for bringing the word 'wanton' to my attention. ;D The next chapter is half-completed so it shouldn't take me too long to update. I hope you enjoyed this chapter well enough to leave me an honest review. Thanks! :D**


	41. Duke Turomot's 'Special Guest'

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Call me overly-cautious, but I stayed off the computer for a while and I hope everything's fine now. On April Fools' Day, my daughter thought it was funny to set the alarm clock for 3 a.m., but no one in our household cared for that joke. :-( She also switched around the breakfast cereals in every box. What a clown! BTW, my uncle is out of the hospital now and doing better - not great, but better. I truly appreciate all the messages of concern. Originally, there was too much of everything in this chapter, so I had to break it into three separate chapters. I'm reworking the other two chappies now, so that they'll be able to stand on their own. Oh, and there's also some **fluff** in here for those of you who've been waiting for it. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_She showed her knight-master the note from Joren and watched him intently as his face turned grim and his lips tightened into a thin line. Raoul hesitated for only a moment. Then he silently nodded at Kel and they both left the room to find Lord Wyldon -- and, hopefully, Joren._

* * *

**Duke Turomot's 'Special Guest'**

"He's not here yet," said Lord Wyldon told Lord Raoul and Kel, who was standing silently behind her knight-master. "We just sent a messenger to his rooms to find him. He told Paxton that he'd meet him here before breakfast, but we've been waiting for more than ten minutes."

"You should read this," Raoul said gravely and handed Joren's note to the training-master. "It was on Squire Keladry's desk when she returned from her morning jog."

Wyldon handed the note to Paxton, whose face lost all of its color and he groaned, "Mithros! Where could he be?"

"Well, I suppose that since he's not here confessing to _me_," Wyldon began, "Then the next logical place for him to be is--"

A loud knock on the door of Lord Wyldon's office stopped him before he could say anything else. The training-master's assistant briskly walked in and handed him a sealed letter. Wyldon open it and then all the color drained from _his_ face. He passed the letter to Paxton, who read it and passed it on to Raoul. When Kel read the letter and she realized what Joren had done, her face became a stony mask.

******************

_To Wyldon, Lord of Cavall and Royal Training-Master_

_From Turomot, Duke of Wellam and Royal Lord Magistrate_

_Lord Wyldon,_

_The purpose of this letter is to inform you that I have one of your trainees, Probationary Squire Joren of Stone Mountain, in my personal custody. He came to me this morning and respectfully requested a private audience with me. Based on the information the young man has divulged to me, I believe it will be most prudent to remove his name from the list of squires who are currently scheduled for their Ordeals of Knighthood this year. _

_Furthermore, Joren of Stone Mountain will remain in my custody as my official 'guest' within the rooms at my disposal until I confer with His Royal Highness, King Jonathan V, about the very serious issues at hand. Anyone with questions, including the young man's family or legal counsel, may attempt to contact me directly; however I am disinclined to discuss anything more about this case until after the Midwinter holidays are completed._

_Written under my hand, on this 17th day of December, 457 H.E., in the City of Corus, in the Kingdom of Tortall._

_Turomot _

_Duke of Wellam and Royal Lord Magistrate_

******************

The official crossed gavel and sword seal adorned the bottom of the parchment next to Duke Turomot's large, ornate signature. Kel's hand shook just a little as she returned the letter to Lord Wyldon, who read it closely once more. The silence in the office was almost deafening.

Wyldon finally looked up sharply and asked Paxton, "Has he told you _anything_ more about what really happened with the kidnapping case - anything at all?" And then he looked at both Raoul and Kel, who didn't respond immediately.

"While were with the Progress," said Paxton wearily, "Joren told me that he tried to convince the person who planned the kidnapping - he wouldn't give me the name - to confess, but the scoundrel apparently refused to cooperate. On our way here from Persopolis, I could tell that something else was bothering him, too. There have been rumors about a ... a potential betrothal, but Joren has refused to talk about the matter. We were supposed to discuss everything with you this morning, because my squire doesn't think he can go into the Chamber with the whole tawdry mess unresolved. I'm inclined to agree with him. But now--"

"But now," interrupted Wyldon, "Now, he is at the mercy of our royal legal system. May the gods all help him; there's nothing more that any of us can do."

* * *

_Three days before Midwinter's start, the progress returned to the palace. Prince Roald was scheduled to take his Ordeal over the holiday; his parents wanted to be on hand._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Rumors about Joren flew around the pages' and squires' dining hall like the flurries of snowflakes swirling through the air outside the palace. The senior squires were concerned for their missing year-mate and they talked constantly about the possible reasons why Joren hadn't shown up for his Ordeal. Prince Roald promised that his father hadn't uttered a word about the situation and Zahir ibn Alhaz, the king's squire, confirmed what the prince said. During their final supper together as squires, Vinson of Genlith, told anyone who'd listen to him that Joren's previously unannounced probationary status was the real reason he'd stayed away from the palace.

"Give it a rest, Vinson," growled Garvey of Runnerspring from the other end of the table, "That's the craziest thing we've heard so far. There's no such thing as a 'probationary status' for squires."

"Yes, there is," Vinson insisted. "Ask the Lump, she knows all about it."

All eyes turned toward Kel and she froze in mid-bite of a roll. She wondered how Vinson had found out that much of the truth. Lord Wyldon had sworn her, Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton to secrecy following the revelation that Duke Turomot had Joren in his personal custody. It nearly killed her to keep quiet and not rip out Vinson's throat for blabbing what he thought he knew about Joren's situation.

"Kel, is that true?" asked Cleon, who was sitting across from her. "Does Vinson know what he's talking about?"

Kel kept her face Yamani calm and still managed to glare at Vinson. He sneered back at her, as if daring her to dispute him. The only thing that saved her from having to answer Cleon's question right away was that Lord Wyldon had walked to the edge of the dais to address them all and the hall became very quiet.

The training-master cleared his throat and then began to speak. "It is obvious that most of you have noticed the absence of one of our senior squires, Joren of Stone Mountain." He glared at the pages and squires until their murmuring quieted down again. "I will tell you only that he is safe and sound. It is not yet clear as to when he might undergo his Ordeal of Knighthood, but the rumors must cease _immediately_. If any of you have further questions, you may ask me directly. Otherwise, there are several of you who must now focus on your own upcoming Ordeals and leave the business of training to me. The name-drawing ceremony for the order in which the senior squires will begin their vigils will commence in precisely one bell's time. Do not be late. The gods be with you all in the days to come. You are dismissed."

* * *

_Cleon's was the first name drawn of the squires who faced the Ordeal. He would take the ritual bath at sunset on the first night of Midwinter, with two knights there to instruct him in the laws of chivalry. Next would come his solitary vigil in the chapel throughout the night with only his thoughts for company. At dawn he would enter the Chamber. _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

"Please, Kel," Cleon pleaded, "It would mean so much to me if you'd spend the afternoon with me - just as friends. I promise."

Kel looked into Cleon's clear gray eyes and sighed in resignation. The big, redheaded squire had asked her to meet him for a late lunch out in town before he reported for his ritual bath and the rest of his Ordeal. Raoul had given Kel the day off anyway, because he would be resting in preparation for staying awake throughout the long night, too. Cleon's knight-master, her brother, Inness, had asked Lord Raoul to be the other knight with him to give Cleon his final instructions before his all-night vigil.

"Alright, Cleon, but only as friends," she replied, "It's like I said before, I don't want--"

"Any distractions from earning your shield," he finished her statement, "Yes, I remember your declaration and I'll honor your wishes - even though I continue to live in hope that you'll change your mind someday. It's just that, well, I need to be with someone who's not in my immediate family. Everyone except for my sister Gertie, the one who's with the Queen's Riders, is worried to death and they're making me nervous, too."

"Fine. I said I'd do it," Kel reiterated, "Just tell me where to meet you and I'll be there."

"My family is staying at the Inn of the Golden Roster on Glass Street, near the Temple District. I like the food there and it's nice and quiet." Then Cleon turned red and asked sheepishly, "Um, Kel, can I ask one more favor of you? I'd really appreciate it if you'd ... ah, would you wear a dress for me, please?"

"And ... and why do you want me to do that?" Kel asked, afraid that she already knew the answer.

Cleon confirmed her suspicions. "I want to remember you like ... like the way you were at your sister's wedding. I want to have a pleasant vision on which to fix my mind throughout my vigil."

"You're supposed to be thinking about _chivalry_ during that time," she reminded him dryly, "Not me."

"Ah, yes, you're right, O pearl of squires," he proclaimed like a Player, with his hand over his heart. "But of what use is chivalry if there are no fair maidens for whom we must perform great deeds?"

Kel punched Cleon on his shoulder and told him to stop being so silly. Then she bid him a good night and left him standing in the hallway outside of her rooms before he tried to kiss her again. She'd recognized the look of longing in Cleon's eyes after she'd agreed to meet him for lunch and she didn't want to hurt his feelings so soon before his Ordeal. Thoughts of Joren now consumed much of Kel's mind, even though she'd neither seen nor heard from him since he'd become Duke Turomot's 'special guest.'

* * *

_Seeing herself in the mirror, Kel thought she'd made herself into the girl she would have been had she not tried for her shield. The feeling was odd, more good than bad. Maybe I'm the same whatever I wear, she thought. It's just easier to fight in breeches._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Kel was wearing the russet red outfit that Lalasa had given her and she felt very pretty in it. She also felt quite guilty. Deep in her heart, she wished she was dressed up for Joren instead of Cleon. Kel really wanted to see the blond squire, if only to make sure he was alright since there still hadn't been any official news about him; no one was foolish enough to ask Lord Wyldon for information. On a whim, Kel decided to write a short note expressing her concern for Joren's welfare and deliver it to Duke Turomot's clerk before she went into town to meet Cleon. She only hoped that the clerk would allow him to receive it.

The hallway outside of the Lord Magistrate's chambers was brightly lit with torches, even though it was barely past the middle of the day. The cold and damp winter brought such gloominess with it that only fire could ward it off. Kel stepped cautiously into the legal clerk's office and asked him if he would please deliver the note to Duke Turomot's 'special guest.' Surprisingly, the clerk gestured to another door and asked her if she would be so kind as to deliver it herself, because he needed to finish writing some reports before the Lord Magistrate returned to his office.

"Squire Joren tries to read after his lunch," the clerk explained, "I've attempted to find interesting topics for him to study because he has nothing better to do at this present time. Unfortunately, the books usually put him right to sleep, poor fellow. I just checked on the squire before you walked in and he's already asleep. Go on in; leave your note on the table in there. I doubt he'll even stir."

Kel's skirts made a soft swishing sound in the quiet office as she walked over to the door and slowly pushed it open. Sure enough, Joren was sitting in a plush chair on the far side of the small bedroom and his head was slumped down over an open book. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that the clerk was not paying any attention to her, so she quietly closed the door behind her and crossed over to where Joren sat. Kel placed her note on the small table beside his chair and then watched the slow, rhythmic rise and fall of his chest.

Joren was dressed casually in a white shirt and dark gray breeches, and she noticed that his loose, white-blond hair was longer than she'd ever seen it. Because his head was bent forward, the silky strands hung down in an almost solid curtain of hair, partially covering his beautiful face. Kel thought Joren looked quite harmless while he slept and his relaxed facial expression reminded her of the way her young nieces and nephews looked when they napped.

Kel knew she'd never have another opportunity such as this, so she bent down to steal a kiss from the sleeping squire. She felt a jolt of excitement because she so rarely she acted on such impulses. Then she smiled as she slowly moved away from his face; secure in her knowledge that he'd never know what she'd done.

The rustling sound of Kel's skirts startled Joren awake and she nearly jumped out of her skin when he raised his head and looked directly at her with his sleepy, sky-blue eyes. For a moment, Kel was afraid to move or even to breathe. Joren merely sat up straighter in his chair, as though he'd been expecting to see her leaning over him. He placed his book on top of the table and tucked his loose hair behind his ear. Then he smiled at Kel in a way that melted her insides.

"Mmm ... green eyes. I was hoping I'd have this dream again," Joren slurred his words groggily. "Although ... I didn't think the book about Marenite fencing techniques would put me to sleep so quickly."

At first, his sleepy eyes gazed lovingly at Kel's face but then they wandered down to her neckline. "Mithros! This dream keeps getting better and better," he exclaimed softly and reached up to stroke the fabric of her sleeve. "Red velvet suits you quite nicely. I wonder if you even have a dress like this."

"Joren? Joren! Are you fully awake?" Kel whispered frantically, not wanting to alert the clerk that the duke's 'guest' wasn't asleep anymore. "It's me - Kel. I came to see how you are doing. Are you alright?"

"Of course I'm alright," he murmured, his voice becoming steadier the more he talked. "You know this is my favorite dream, Kel. It's the one where I close my eyes and you kiss me the way you did in the library. That part's always very nice. But for some reason, whenever I take you to my bed, I always open my eyes before we ... and then you're ... you're gone and I'm all alone again, except for the blasted books. So this time, I think we should just stay over here so the dream will last longer."

"Do you really dream about me like this every day?" Kel asked; she still wasn't sure whether or not he was awake.

Joren slowly nodded, "But this time I think I can even _smell_ you. Mmm ... this is the best dream ever."

Shivers went down Kel's spine; she was both amused and alarmed when she thought about everything Joren had said. He clearly believed that he was in the midst of a very elaborate dream - one he'd apparently experienced a few times before. A sudden impish urge to see what would happen when the semi-conscious squire realized that he was awake kept Kel from leaving the room immediately; although the sensible part of her brain was screaming at her to run away before it was too late. Too late for what? Kel didn't really know. She'd missed Joren so much that it was easy to risk looking into his incredibly gorgeous eyes and steal another kiss from him - just this one time.

In fact, it was _too_ easy. One kiss became three and then more after that. Kel quickly lost control of the situation when Joren slowly rose up from his chair, pulling her up with him, and held her tightly against his solid chest. She could feel his heart beating faster and faster and she knew her heart was speeding up, too. Kel felt the 'sparks' flying all around them. She threaded her fingers into his loose, shoulder-length hair, which was something she'd always wanted to do, and she played with the silky locks. They both closed their eyes and their kissing became more and more intense - even more so than their time in the library.

Joren kissed each of Kel's eyelids and the tip of her nose, and then he kissed her lips once more before he trailed kisses down her bare neck all the way to her collarbone and back up to her lips again. She began to feel a strange, tingling warmth building inside of her as his strong hands gently massaged her back and neck muscles through the plush velvet fabric of her gown. Kel sensed that something was different from their previous kissing sessions and that Joren was moving her beyond the 'sparks' phase and deeper into territory unknown to her body. The insane part of her brain strongly urged her to give in to her newly awakened desires, but when Joren caressed all of her soft curves, Kel gasped and sprang away from him. Her sanity returned with a vengeance.

"Ow!' Joren exclaimed as he became conscious of the pain of a few strands of hair being yanked from his scalp.

"Shh! Be quiet!" Kel hissed at him "Unless you want the clerk to come in here with us!"

Joren's eyes flew open and he swayed unsteadily. Shaking his head the way a dog shakes water from its coat, it took another moment before he seemed to realize that this was _not_ part of his dream. When Joren saw Kel standing only a few feet away from him with her arms crossed over her chest in a protective stance, he covered his mouth so the clerk wouldn't hear his startled yelp.

"Oh, Goddess!" Kel quietly groaned; her face and neck were a deep red that almost matched her dress. "I should've just dropped off my note and left quietly. The clerk thought you were asleep in here."

Joren's eyes were wide open and he was fully aware now as he warily took a step toward her. "S-so did I. K-Kel, is it ... is it _really_ you?" He stammered in his astonishment.

When Kel answered him with a silent nod, Joren reached out to touch her face. She backed away from him and put her index finger over her lips to indicate that he needed to be quiet. Kel knew they probably had only a few more moments before either the clerk realized she hadn't left Joren's room yet or Duke Turomot returned to the office. But she also knew she might not get another chance to talk to Joren, so she shook off her embarrassment and recomposed herself.

"Joren, please listen to me," she whispered loudly to him, "Forget about ... about what just happened. I know we have a lot to say to each other, but we must be quick about it because the duke might return at any moment. Please, _please_ tell me what you've done to deserve this treatment! What all did you tell the Lord Magistrate? Is he treating you fairly? What's he planning to do with you next? And ... and are you really going to ... to marry Lady Gwendolyn?"

Joren's shoulders slumped with disappointment. No, he definitely wasn't dreaming anymore. Keladry of Mindelan - the actual person and not just his dream lady - really had been in his arms a moment ago. He still could taste her on his lips and feel her body in his hands. Now she was standing beyond his reach, hissing at him like a crazed goose and whispering for him to answer her questions. Joren crossed his arms over his chest, mirroring Kel's almost-comical stance, and tilted his head to one side before he answered her.

"Let's see ... you've requested a lot of information," he spoke slowly, as though he was choosing his words very carefully. "Here are your answers: I'm a 'special guest' in these chambers because I told the Lord Magistrate the whole truth, starting from when I volunteered to sponsor _you_, including the part about why I wanted you to leave and become a regular lady, and ending with the most recent events of my probation. I told him everything I could without naming names, just as you suggested in your letter. Yes, the duke has been more than fair to me. I have no idea what'll happen next, but I might have to go away for a while. My sister lives in Maren and she's invited me to visit her there, so I'll probably do that after ... after all this is over. And _if_ I ever get married, I would prefer that the lady be both younger than I am _and_ a virgin; therefore, I'm definitely _not _marrying the widow - no matter what anyone, including my father, says. There, I think I covered everything. Now tell me - why did you come here today, Kel? What's really going on out there in the palace? Who will enter the Chamber first? And where are you going all dressed up like that? You're more beautiful than ever, you know."

Kel's face turned red again and she replied, "Um ... thank you for ... for the compliment. I suppose I can answer your questions in order likewise. Um ... I only came here to give you a note - it's nothing really; I've just been, um, worried about you. I thought ... well, I thought you would've sent out a message by now. Somehow, Vinson knows about your probation and he's telling everyone that that's why you didn't come back for your Ordeal. All kinds of other rumors about you are flying around the palace - such as your betrothal to Lady Gwendolyn - even though Lord Wyldon is trying his best to stop them from spreading. Starting tonight, the first few squires to go into the Chamber are Cleon, then Vinson tomorrow and Prince Roald on Midwinter's Eve, but I'm not sure who'll go next. Zahir and Garvey are going in later this week. I'm wearing this gown because it's the first day of Midwinter and I'm going into town to meet ... to meet with some friends and ... and then I'm going to have my earlobes pierced. You know, so that I can wear earbobs." Kel decided it was best not to go into a lot of detail about her late lunch with Cleon or her recent decision to visit Lalasa's dress shop and let Tian pierce her ears before she lost her courage to do it.

"Ah ... so you're getting earbobs put in - just like a regular lady," Joren said pensively, but then he looked confused, "Wait! How ... how did _you_ get in here? My own father can't even get past the clerk to see me."

"I ... I don't know. Perhaps he thinks I look trustworthy," Kel shrugged and continued to whisper as she glanced at the door behind her. "You'd better sit down again - in case the clerk remembers that I'm still in here and comes to check on us. He was quite preoccupied with all his reports when I talked to him, but he said the duke should be returning at any moment. I don't want you to get into any more trouble on my account."

Joren didn't move; he just stared at her for a long time. "I'm glad you came to see me, Kel, and I know you must leave soon, but I have a favor to ask of you: will you wear this dress again for me someday?" he asked. "I ... I think it looks wonderful on you. And seeing you like this now, I've realized that my dreams haven't quite done you justice - _Lady_ Keladry."

"Don't call me that," she whispered angrily, "It's only this ... this dress that's making you act this way. I probably should go back to my rooms and change out of all this velvet and lace and put on something less ... less--"

"Revealing?" Joren offered. "It's like I told you when we were in the desert - your presence can be quite distracting, whether or not you want to admit it. Honestly, Kel, I'd be a happy man if no one else except for me ever sees you in this particular dress. But ... but I realize that I'm selfish about certain things and, well, perhaps all my time in the desert has given me thoughts that are more aligned with the Bazhir's ways of thinking."

Kel closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see the hunger in Joren's eyes. She knew she'd been 'playing with fire' for far too long and she had to put an end to it. Although it caused her great pain, Kel made up her mind to treat Joren the same way she treated Cleon - as a friend and nothing more. It was much safer that way, because Joren simply was too distracting.

Sadly, though, Kel realized it meant that there couldn't be any more kissing - not like that, anyway. And there definitely wouldn't be any more touching, either. She understood that the overwhelming feelings she'd experienced when he'd caressed her was far too dangerous to unleash. Kel decided that she'd allow herself to enjoy Joren's closeness this one last time and then she'd _really_ make sure they were never alone from this moment on.

"What a load of rubbish!" Kel quietly exclaimed. "None of you males ever seemed to notice so much about me during our page years. And I wore dresses to supper practically every night!"

"Hah! Obviously, none of us _males_ ever told you about all the 'philosophical discussions' we had in the men's bath house," he whispered back at her, "No, Kel, it's ... it's more than the dress, I assure you. It's you - the woman inside of the dress - who dominates my dreams." Joren moved closer to Kel now.

"But, Joren, you should be thinking about the _real_ ladies of the Court and not wasting your time dreaming silly things about a girl who's trying to become a knight," Kel protested, wrapping her arms more tightly around herself, as though she could hide all evidence of the existence of her bosom, "Surely there are plenty of women who'd want to spend time with you like that. I ... I _know_ of your past reputation with ... with the ladies, Joren. I mean, how is it even possible that you can dream of _me_ like ... like that?"

Joren grinned wickedly at her and purred, "You're a female, aren't you?" And he eliminated the space between them again.

"Of course I'm a female!" she hissed and gave him a withering glare. "But ... but we haven't done ... um ... I mean, I'm still a ... a ... you know what I'm trying to say. Anyway, dreaming about that is just ... just the most _pointless _thing and you know it! You really should stop." She desperately needed to turn his thoughts away from her - it was for his own good, she told herself.

Joren chuckled at Kel's distress over his dreams of her. It _was_ pointless, but he wouldn't be able to control his dreams any more than she'd be able to control anyone else's thoughts about her. Then Joren carefully embraced Kel, with her crossed arms still in place, and spoke softly into her soap-scented hair.

"Those dreams are my deeply personal secrets and you're really not supposed to know anything about them," he said quietly, "Besides, there's not much else I _can_ do right now other than dream, is there?"

"I ... I just think you'd be better off dreaming about someone else," Kel spoke into Joren's shoulder, her voice muffled by their closeness, "It'll be two whole years - maybe more - until ... until I can think about anything beyond knighthood. Your family expects you to ... to marry soon. _I_ certainly wouldn't expect you to wait that long to be with ... with someone."

Now Joren almost choked over the inadvertent humor of her statements. "It's _already_ been that long since I've ... well, that's none of your business either. All I know is that someday, Keladry of Mindelan - regardless of whether you're a lady or a knight or both or neither - I'd really like to have you all to myself. Until then, let's just keep my dreams a _secret _secret, alright? Since you already know about them, you don't have to trade with me for them. That is, of course, unless ... _unless_ you want to make them come true."

Kel took a deep breath, silently disentangled herself from Joren's embrace and looked at him with her hazel eyes. His blue-eyed gaze held her in place for a long moment, but she was determined to stick with her decision to keep him at arms' length from now on. It took all of her willpower to resist flinging herself back into his embrace and giving in to his kisses once again.

Joren didn't resist Kel's strength as she gently pushed her palms against his chest to make him move backward. When his legs bumped into the edge of the chair he'd been sitting in, he plopped down without a protest. Kel leaned over Joren and, just when he thought she was going to kiss him again, she lightly touched her lips to his forehead and quickly moved out of his reach.

"Go back to sleep, my friend," Kel whispered to him, "I'm glad to see that you're in such good spirits. As always, your secrets are safe with me. And just in case I can't come to see you again, Midwinter luck, Joren of Stone Mountain." Then she left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Joren sat in the comfortable chair for quite a while after Kel left him and willed himself to relax and stay calm. It took a long time for his pulse to return to normal. The myriad of thoughts and feelings whirling through his dazed mind all fought for his highest level of attention. Obviously, life outside of this room to which the Lord Magistrate had confined him was going on just fine without his involvement. His year-mates were going through with their Ordeals, people were celebrating Midwinter, and his father still was trying to manipulate him into marrying the widow, Lady Gwendolyn. He wished he knew exactly what Duke Turomot intended to do with him after the holidays were over. Joren's brain was just as divided over his jumbled emotions as Kel's brain had been split between her difficult decisions.

The rational and calculating part of Joren's brain congratulated itself on maintaining his deceit so well. Truthfully, the book he'd been reading was quite boring and he'd started to doze off, but he became fully alert when he heard Kel's voice outside of his closed door. So he really hadn't been asleep when Kel crept into his 'special guest' room; he'd only assumed the peaceful pose to fool her. Originally, Joren had planned to jump up and surprise Kel when she came near to him, but then he decided to play a more elaborate trick on her.

Feigning sleep had not been the difficult part for Joren, but pretending to be semi-conscious nearly drove him to his knees. The way Kel felt in his arms was so completely intoxicating that he'd almost lost control of himself. The only thing that kept him from ruining his 'act' was the fact that Kel seemed so willing to believe him; and for that, he did feel extremely guilty. At first, he only wanted to see what she'd do when she thought he was napping. Then, especially once he saw how lovely she looked in that incredible gown, Joren just wanted to spend as much time as he could with Kel before she returned to the outside world, where no one would be able to understand or accept the fact that they were attracted to each other on so many complex levels.

The impulsive and romantic part of Joren's brain rejoiced at Kel's surprisingly bold actions. Who would've guessed that the lady squire had the nerve to steal a kiss - actually _lots_ of kisses - from him while he was 'asleep' and supposedly unaware? Joren certainly wouldn't. And the way her body responded to his barely-controlled caresses was almost his undoing. If he'd held on to Kel for a few seconds longer, Joren was certain that nothing would have prevented him from taking her all the way into his bed. He knew that he'd awakened a deep passion that he'd long suspected was lurking under Kel's Yamani mask and changeable green-hazel eyes. He also knew they both would've regretted it afterward, even if no one had caught them in the act.

Joren mentally thanked all the gods that Kel was so obviously inexperienced she'd flinched away from him when his hands explored places that no one else had ever touched that way before. Now he knew without a doubt that, despite all the raw passion in her kisses, the lady squire was still very much a virgin. And, much to his great surprise, he discovered that he wanted her to stay that way until he could figure out how to win her heart forever. Suddenly, Joren also understood that he'd have to be much more careful around Kel - and perhaps even stay away from touching her altogether - if he truly meant to protect her virtue until she earned her shield. The realization of that hard truth made Duke Turomot's 'special guest' a very sad man indeed.

----------------------------------

**A/N: Congrats to 'PLAIDunderpants' (what an interesting pen name!), who wrote the 600th review of my story so far!! =) It's hard for me to believe that I've written well over 150,000 words and I'm not even close to the end of this story. I'm extremely happy that so many of you are reading and enjoying **_**and reviewing**_** my story - you're awesome! ^_^ As always, I look forward to more of your reviews. Thanks! :D**


	42. Cleon's Future

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Surprise! I completed two posts in one day! ^_^ This is the second of three chapters that used to belong to one colossal chapter. Recently, I was watching the movie 'The Princess Bride' for the thousandth time - I absolutely _adore_ Cary Elwes in this film! Hmm, I think that if Mr. Elwes' hair had been bleached white-blond and was longer back then, he might've made a good 'model' for Joren. ;D Anyway, I became inspired by the little speech that the movie character, swordsman Inigo Montoya, recited practically every time he battles anyone. I'm still weaving a lot of book quotes from TP's original work into my story here to maintain the connection between the timelines of both the PotS ****and my AU version of events. I wrote this _relatively_ shorter chapter in first-person; call me crazy, but I just had to try it again. ;P Also, I decided that Cleon truly deserved a separate space of his own, especially since he's going to ... oh, well, I'll just keep quiet and let you read it for yourself. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_A big, cheerful-looking redheaded boy walked on Wyldon's left.... _

_He was a third-year page, a joker who still sported a tan from days spent in his father's fields, bringing in the harvest._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __First Test_

* * *

**Cleon's Future **

My name is Cleon and I've been in love with Keladry of Mindelan since the first day she arrived at the palace to begin training for knighthood. The dream that has lived inside of my heart from the time of our very first kiss is that Kel and I will be married to each other someday and have lots of big, redheaded, hazel-eyed warrior children. I've longed for that day to come and I wish the future would hurry up and get here.

You must understand that my name is also Cleon of Kennan, the third of five children born to Sir Tannack, Baron of Kennan and his wife, Priscilla. I am their only son. I plan to serve as a knight, so that I can fight bravely and do great deeds for the kingdom of Tortall. Perhaps the king will reward my faithful service with gold and silver; Mithros knows Fief Kennan could use the monetary help.

My oldest sister brought honor, but not much wealth to our family by marrying one of the finest scholars in the kingdom. My second oldest sister brought scorn upon our family because she broke off her betrothal and ran away to join the Queen's Riders, where she's very happy now. It's too soon for my younger sisters to marry well-off noblemen, but I know that my mother has plans for them to do so. My shrewd mother will do anything to save our lands from declining into complete ruin. I know that she even has plans to marry me off to an heiress as soon as possible, but she doesn't know that I have my own plans, too.

* * *

_Cleon's was the first name drawn of the squires who faced the Ordeal. He would take the ritual bath at sunset on the first night of Midwinter, with two knights there to instruct him in the laws of chivalry. Next would come his solitary vigil in the chapel throughout the night with only his thoughts for company. At dawn he would enter the Chamber. _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

My name is Cleon and I've been in love with Keladry of Mindelan since the first day she arrived at the palace to begin training for knighthood. The dream that has lived inside of my heart from the time of our very first kiss is that Kel and I will be married to each other someday and have lots of big, redheaded, hazel-eyed warrior children. I've longed for that day to come and I wish the future would hurry up and get here.

You must understand that my name is also Cleon of Kennan and I am currently Squire to Sir Inness of Mindelan, one of Kel's older brothers. He is the best knight-master any squire could hope for and I know the gods were looking after my welfare when Sir Inness chose me. He has trained me thoroughly by taking me on a variety of military missions along the Scanran border. We've fought bandits and raiders in all types of situations and in every kind of weather. SIr Inness also taught me how to train villagers and farmers to defend themselves against the northern invaders, using everything from spears to common farming tools. And he even approved of and encouraged my efforts to win his youngest sister's affections.

Tonight I will begin my Ordeal of Knighthood. Lord Wyldon drew my name first at last night's ceremony. My family is so proud to know that, assuming I survive the Chamber, I'll be the first to become a full knight from among my year-mates. I feel honored that Sir Inness was able to convince Lord Raoul, the Knight Commander of the King's Own, as well as Kel's knight-master, to help him with my final instructions before I begin the vigil. I am nervous and excited and perhaps just a wee bit scared, too.

* * *

_She saw Cleon before he saw her. He stood at the foot of King Jasson's statue, where the Palace Way met Gold Street. He missed her as he scanned the crowds coming down from the palace. Kel slid back her hood and smiled when he finally looked at her._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

My name is Cleon and I've been in love with Keladry of Mindelan since the first day she arrived at the palace to begin training for knighthood. The dream that has lived inside of my heart from the time of our very first kiss is that Kel and I will be married to each other someday and have lots of big, redheaded, hazel-eyed warrior children. I've longed for that day to come and I wish the future would hurry up and get here.

You must understand that my name is also Cleon of Kennan and this afternoon I had a quiet lunch with the lady squire at the inn where my family is staying in town for the festivities. Everyone else had eaten earlier and gone out to shop for last-minute Midwinter's gifts, so Kel and I had the dining room practically all to ourselves. I only hoped that none of my sisters would return early and intrude upon the privacy I worked so hard to create for this rare time alone with the pearl of my heart . Sitting across the table from Kel, I could just imagine us spending more times like this in our future life together as the Baron and Baroness of Kennan.

She's perfect for me - tall and strong and able to fight by my side. I don't even have to bend down to kiss her. Mithros! Kel looked so beautiful today! I had asked her to wear a dress and she didn't disappoint me. Her pretty pink shift matched the pinkish coloring of her face and the soft brown color of her gown really made me notice the interesting brownish-green flecks in her hazel eyes. I was pleasantly shocked when Kel informed me that she was going to get her earlobes pierced after our lunch. Now I'll know what kind of gifts to get her for our future Midwinter holidays together.

Truthfully, it's never mattered to me whether Kel wore dresses or shirts and breeches, because she's always looked good in my view, but today she really seemed to be glowing with an excitement I'd never before seen in her. I asked her if there was any particular reason why she looked so radiant today, but she claimed it was just the cold air and the brisk walk that put the color in her cheeks. Sometimes I wonder if Kel is thinking about the same kinds of things I'm thinking of doing when she becomes a knight. I'm trying to be patient, but it's getting harder and harder to behave properly every time I'm near her.

Don't misunderstand me - Kel has asked me not to pressure her to agree to a courtship between us until after she earns her shield. I plan to honor her request, but I want her to know that I haven't lost interest in our potential future. I want her know that I couldn't care less about the small size of her dowry or that she plans to roam around as a knight for a few years before she settles down. I want her know that I'm frantically looking for a way to escape my mother's plans to marry me off to the heiress she's chosen for me. I want Kel to know that I still think about her day and night.

The food at the Golden Rooster Inn was very good and Kel and I enjoyed a lively conversation about her brothers' youthful antics, as well as how much all of her nieces and nephews have grown since she last saw them. It's so easy to talk to her because she's been my friend and my comrade for such a long time. I think Kel sensed that I had something more serious to say to her, but she never gave me the opportunity to tell her that my mother invited Ermelian of Aminar to stay at the inn with my family and that the young lady planned to attend my knighting ceremony.

* * *

_Inness hurried forward to grab Cleon as he tottered into the chapel. Kel bit her lip: Cleon was pale, sweating, and shaky. Inness asked him something - Cleon nodded, and searched the room with his eyes. When he saw Kel, he smiled wearily. He was all right, or as all right as anyone who had survived the Ordeal could be._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

My name is Cleon and I've been in love with Keladry of Mindelan since the first day she arrived at the palace to begin training for knighthood. The dream that has lived inside of my heart from the time of our very first kiss is that Kel and I will be married to each other someday and have lots of big, redheaded, hazel-eyed warrior children. I've longed for that day to come and I wish the future would hurry up and get here.

You must understand that my name is also Squire Cleon of Kennan and I have just survived my Ordeal of Knighthood. I wish I could say that I was brave and gallant in the face of _all _the horrors the Chamber threw at me, but I can't. I wish I could say that I am happy just to be alive, but I can't. I think that part of my soul died in the Chamber and I don't know how I'm going to live the rest of my life without it.

I was doing fine as long as the Chamber pit me against crazed Scanran warriors or marauding bandits or even wild Immortals. Each battle felt extremely real and I have the cuts and bruises to prove that I surely fought against something in there. It was grueling work and I had to use every survival skill and fighting technique I'd ever learned here at the palace or out in the field under Sir Inness' competent leadership.

Then, the Chamber changed tactics on me. No longer was I battling and defeating foreign enemies or strange Immortals, but the accursed room of stone made me face up to my own self and I almost failed. The Chamber reached deep down inside of me and showed me visions of the futures that could be mine. Every time I chose to be with Kel, instead of Ermelian, terrible things happened at Kennan because of my stubborn selfishness.

In one vision, my little sisters died of a wasting-away sickness because they drank water from a contaminated pond that we didn't have the money to clean up. Another time all the livestock we couldn't butcher and preserve starved to death because our crops failed again and we couldn't afford to feed them. In yet another vision, the impoverished villagers, most of our tenants, moved away in order to escape the localized famine caused by the constant failures of the levees along the nearby Lictas River we couldn't afford to repair.

The most horrifying experiences the Chamber forced me to endure were the calamities that crushed the joy out of my life with Kel as my wife. The worst was watching a pregnant Kel slip and fall off the crumbling edge of a step on the stone staircase we also never repaired due to our poverty. In this vision, Kel's tumble caused her to go into labor far too early and our first child - a tiny baby boy - wasn't strong enough to survive. All I wanted to do was to curse and scream at the Chamber to make it stop showing me all these tragedies, but I knew I couldn't utter a sound.

Once I surrendered to the realization that any possible scenario with Kel would probably end in either disaster or death, the Chamber stopped showing me those visions. I knew that there was another option waiting for my acceptance, but the Chamber showed me nothing - either good or bad - about the consequences of that choice. Only when I silently vowed to let go of my dream - the dream that had kept me warm during so many snowy nights on border patrol, the dream of my future life with my future wife Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan - did the Chamber let go of me.

My heart felt broken into so many pieces that I know I left some of them behind on the Chamber's cold floor. As soon I became reconciled with what I would have to do, the door to the Chamber swung open and I stumbled out, eager to get away. I searched around the room until I spotted Kel. Then, remembering my silent vow, I continued to search the crowd until I locked on to the direction I knew I must follow.

* * *

_Cleon was knighted at sunset. Kel thought she would burst with pride in him._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

My name is Cleon and I've been in love with Keladry of Mindelan since the first day she arrived at the palace to begin training for knighthood. The dream that has lived inside of my heart from the time of our very first kiss is that Kel and I will be married to each other someday and have lots of big, redheaded, hazel-eyed warrior children. I've longed for that day to come; however, I will _not_ condemn the woman I love to a future of poverty, despair and death.

You must understand that my name is also Sir Cleon, loyal knight of the realm of Tortall and soon-to-be the Baron of Kennan. I am my recently-widowed mother's only son and I am now responsible for all the people who live and work on my family's lands. The Lictas River has flooded most of Kennan again, threatening our meager crops, and our tenants are beginning to suffer. In order to save my family and our lands from ruin, I will marry Ermelian of Aminar, a wealthy heiress and the daughter of my mother's best friend.

Our mothers truly have been planning this wedding since we were young children and it's only right for me to uphold my responsibilities by honoring this union. I believe I can learn to love Ermelian; she is pretty and pleasant and she seems to like me, too. In time, I hope that I will be able to discover and embrace a new dream for my new future wife.

My name is Cleon and I've been in love with Keladry of Mindelan since the first day she arrived at the palace to begin training for knighthood. But this is the last time I will ever speak these words. I know that Kel would agree with this decision. I only wish that the remaining pieces of my broken heart would agree with me, too.

* * *

**A/N: Well, I hope you liked this. It's like I've said from the very beginning of my AU story, Cleon doesn't get to be with Kel because this is a **_**Kel/Joren**_** fic. However, since Cleon rarely gets to speak for himself in this fandom, I thought I'd give him the opportunity to do so here. He really is a nice guy and he's been a faithful friend to Kel from the start, so I wanted him to have a little taste of the spotlight. Besides, TP married Cleon off to Ermelian, too. It's just that the whole affair takes place much sooner in my AU. ;D Again, I look forward to your reviews. Thanks! :D**


	43. The Truth Shall Set You Free

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Yay! Here's the third of three chapters that I broke off of the one humongous chapter. There's some fairly heavy stuff in here, and maybe even a little soap-opera-ish stuff, too, but I'm excited that it's done. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_For the second night of Midwinter, Raoul decided he liked parties the size of the one they'd had the night before. At his request palace servants filled a table with food and drink.... _

_Cleon was knighted at sunset. Kel thought she would burst with pride in him. That pride filled her again when he walked into Raoul's chambers. _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**The Truth Shall Set You Free**

When Cleon first emerged from the Chamber, Kel noticed that he glanced briefly in her direction, but then his eyes seemed to look past her until they rested on the sight of a petite, well-dressed young lady with long chestnut-brown hair and bright blue eyes. He smiled wearily at the girl and she smiled shyly back at him. One time, at a ball where Kel had been serving cups of hot cider and spiced wines, her cousin Tressa had pointed the girl out to her; she was Ermelian of Aminar, a wealthy heiress and was, if the rumors were correct, soon-to-be-betrothed to a certain tall, redheaded man.

Later that afternoon, Kel attended Cleon's ceremony of knighthood with Inness and the rest of her family at the palace. She knew that her brother had done a great job of training his former squire and that he had every right to be proud of Cleon. For the past four years, all of the clan at Mindelan had thought of the tall redhead as a nice 'addition' to their family. Some members of the family still hoped that Cleon of Kennan would become a permanent addition after Kel earned her shield.

Lady Ilane was pleasantly surprised to see that her youngest daughter was wearing tiny gold studs in her earlobes now. She told Kel to visit her later so that she could give her a pair of Yamani earlobe-sticks for daily wear to 'train' the piercings to stay open. That reminded Kel to twirl the small earbobs as Tian had advised her to do until her earlobes healed; overall, the experience hadn't been nearly as painful as she'd expected it to be. Kel had marveled at the story the seamstress said the queen had told her during a recent fitting: when Alanna the Lioness had her ears pierced, the lady knight actually fainted!

Even though Cleon suddenly seemed reluctant to introduce her, Kel had enjoyed meeting all of the Kennan clan, especially Cleon's sister, Gertie. Joren had mentioned Gertie a few times when they'd been in the desert. Kel was able to have a long conversation with the experienced Rider and she discovered many interesting facts about the training Gertie had received over the years. Gertie also told her stories about some of her missions and the places that some of the lesser-known groups, such as the 13th and the 16th, usually were stationed.

Kel also met Ermelian of Aminar, who complimented Kel on her victorious jousting contests during the Progress. Apparently, Ermelian had been in the viewing stands for practically ever one of them. Kel remembered what her mother had told her about the young lady's mother and Cleon's mother being long-time friends with long-standing plans for their children to marry, regardless of what their children might want for themselves. She sensed that if Cleon gave the quiet brunette with pretty, blue eyes half of a chance, Ermelian would be a very nice match for him - even if he'd have to bend down to kiss her.

When most of the ceremony's attendees had disbursed, Cleon asked Kel to take a walk with him before they went to Raoul's informal party. Even though he was tired, he looked so much better than he had when he'd exited the Chamber. It was somewhat strange for Kel to see Cleon wearing his own fief's colors with his newly-awarded knight's badge, instead of the Mindelan colors of his squire years. They strolled down a nearly-deserted corridor for quite a while before Kel no longer could stand Cleon's uncharacteristic silence.

"Spit it out, Cleon," Kel insisted, "I know it mustn't be anything good because you're hardly ever at a loss for words. And don't try telling me it's just fatigue from the Chamber, either. You asked to speak privately to me for a reason, so let's hear it."

Cleon stopped walking and reached for her hand. "You know me too well, Kel. I do have something to tell you and ... and I don't want you to be upset. I wanted to tell you yesterday - at the inn - but we were having such a nice time together that I didn't want to spoil it with bad news." Kel didn't move as he curled his large hand around hers and looked into her eyes.

Kel nodded. "Go ahead, Cleon. I'm listening."

"Kel, I know we agreed that I could ask again to court you once you're a knight, but ... but that won't be possible anymore," Cleon said haltingly, "I ... I'm going to be betrothed to Ermelian of Aminar. It's a bit too soon for my liking, but ... but our parents will announce the ... the wedding arrangements at the final Midwinter ball. I was hoping ... well, I _had_ hoped to get out of it, but ... after I came out of the Chamber I ... I realized that ... that it's really for the best."

Kel nodded slowly. "Con ... congratulations, Cleon."

Ever since her mother had told her about Cleon's mother's plans for him, Kel had known that this was highly likely to happen. She also realized that this truly was the best thing for her friend, especially since she knew she didn't have the same level of affection for the tall redhead as he had for her. Truthfully, Cleon's announcement had just simplified her life tremendously. Still, she was surprised at the sudden dryness of her throat and the tightness she felt in her chest.

"I hope you ... you two will be very happy together." Kel finally said with sincerity.

Cleon pulled Kel to his muscular chest in a tight embrace, "I'm so very sorry about ... about all of this. I never meant to hurt you or to mislead you, Kel. Ermelian and I have known each other since we were babes in our mothers' arms and ... and they've been planning this wedding since, well, forever." Then he released her and looked into her eyes, "Unfortunately, the situation at home in Kennan has gone from bad to horrible and with this year's flooding, it'll only get worse. Ermelian's wealth will help my family so much. I hope you can understand."

"Of course I understand, Cleon," Kel reassured him, gently pulling out of his embrace. "What kind of a friend would I be if I didn't?" She knew that as the youngest daughter of the large Mindelan family, her own dowry would be a pittance compared to what the Aminar heiress could bring to a marriage, but it would be tactless to point out that fact now.

Cleon looked relieved, "I just wanted you to hear the news from me first. I didn't want you to hear it at the same time as everyone else - and certainly not from your busy-body cousin, Tressa."

Kel feigned shock for a brief moment, "What? Tressa is a ... a _busy-body_? Whatever gave you that idea? I mean, really Cleon! I wouldn't know _anything _about the goings-on around here if it weren't for my dear, sweet cousin who keeps me so well-informed." And she smiled mischievously.

Cleon chuckled at Kel's play-acting. "You always know how to make me feel better, Kel," Then his face became serious again. "I only wish ... I wish things could be different."

Kel shrugged nonchalantly and asked him, "Do you ... like Ermelian? I met her today and ... and I think she's nice."

"Oh, yes, she's very nice and all, but she's just not _you_, Kel," Cleon said ruefully, "And she's so ... well, she's so _short_."

"Ah, I see," Kel nodded with understanding. Cleon had often told her how wonderful it was for him not to have to bend down when he'd kissed her. "Perhaps the height difference won't really matter after a while, Cleon. I'm sure you'll be fine."

They walked the rest of the way to Raoul's chambers in companionable silence. Before they reached the door, Cleon sent Kel in ahead of him. He said it would be best not to give anyone the wrong idea about their friendship, especially because of the upcoming announcement of his betrothal. Suddenly, Kel felt relieved not to have to worry about Cleon's future intentions anymore. In an interesting sort of way, the truth of his situation had set her free.

* * *

_"It's that Vinson of Genlith." Lalasa stood beside Raoul, grim-faced, hands clenched under her embroidered apron. Her friend Tian stood just beside her. "His Ordeal was this morning."_

_"He left the Chamber and requested an audience, with Turomot present," Raoul told Kel. "Get dressed. When they want something after they come out, it's usually not good." He left her, closing his door._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Kel stood in stunned silence with Lord Raoul and Lalasa beside her in the Great Throne Room of the palace. Many other sleepy-looking people, including Kel's parents and Baron Myles of Olau stood near them, all silent and wondering what was happening. It was difficult for them to believe what they were seeing and hearing. Not only had Vinson of Genlith just confessed to awful crimes against several women in the Lower City, including rape and assault, but he'd also confessed that it was _him_ and not Joren of Stone Mountain who had planned and arranged for the kidnapping of Lalasa.

Vinson still was dressed in his vigil clothes and it was obvious that the mysterious Chamber of the Ordeal still held the criminally insane squire in its eerie, supernatural 'grip.' All the while, it seemed that unseen hands were tormenting the weeping squire as he made his awful confessions to the monarchs, as well as to the Lord Magistrate, who was standing one marble step down from the thrones. One moment, Vinson would double over in pain as though he'd been kicked in the gut, and the next moment his head would snap to one side as though he'd been slapped. Purple bruises and bleeding cuts appeared and then faded from the squire's face and body.

Most of the people assembled in the throne room were surprised to hear that Joren of Stone Mountain truly hadn't acted alone on the day his actions caused Keladry of Mindelan to be late for her big exams. They were shocked when Vinson further confessed that he and his uncle Ebroin, with the full permission and cooperation of Lord Burchard, forced Joren to endure the criminal trial alone in an effort to discredit the prosecution's case. He also revealed that the legal advocate had planned to show documents proving that the barely literate Joren wouldn't have been able to prepare the map and instructions the kidnappers used.

Vinson alternately wept and moaned throughout his confession and the invisible torture, but he spared no detail of his descent into criminal activity. He spoke of his rebuffed advances toward Lalasa, his failed plans to take revenge against the maid and her mistress, Keladry of Mindelan. He even snarled his disgust at Joren's reluctance to go along with his plan to finally rid the palace of the infuriatingly tenacious girl page and how his former friend recently had tried to convince him to take responsibility for his role in the kidnapping. Finally, he collapsed to the floor after he confessed to taking out all of his frustrations on the poor female victims in the Lower City.

* * *

_The king reached a hand toward Vinson and twisted his fingers. The blue fire of his magic settled over the weeping squire. It blazed fiercely white, then vanished. "He tells the truth," King Jonathan said grimly._

_"Tell the Chamber I confessed," Vinson begged, raising his face. "Tell it I did what it wanted me to. Make it let me go! Make it stop hurting me!"_

_The queen's face was hard. "The Chamber is commanded by no one, Vinson of Genlith. It will release you as it chooses."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Vinson had wrongly assumed that all he'd have to do was confess his crimes before the monarchs, the Lord Magistrate and the assembled audience and then the Chamber of the Ordeal would release him from its torturous grip. When he finally realized that the supernatural torment might continue indefinitely, he frantically looked around the crowd to locate Joren, but the Stone Mountain squire was not in the throne room. Vinson spotted Joren's father and began to shriek spiteful comments at Lord Burchard, who was standing next to Lady Gwendolyn near the front of the crowd.

"Where's your son? Why hasn't Joren shown his face here?" Vinson pointed at Lord Burchard and shrieked, "I'll tell you why - he's scared! He knows he can't just toss Stone Mountain money at the Chamber and make it do his bidding. Your money couldn't win Joren's court case and it couldn't make his probation go away, either. That cowardly son of yours knows that the Chamber will get him next! That's right - he'll be ruined just like I am - and _you'll _never get to pawn off your bastard by marrying Joren to _her_." And he indicated Lady Gwendolyn who then turned pale and fainted at her lover's feet.

The red-faced Lord Burchard immediately bent down to check on the stricken Lady Gwendolyn. He beckoned to two other men who came forward and carried her out of the throne room. Then the enraged and humiliated nobleman stood up and straightened his tunic. He mustered as much dignity as he could and addressed the monarchs directly.

"Your majesties, I must protest!" Lord Burchard said angrily. "This whole display is preposterous! My son isn't even here in this room to defend his honor against this ... this lunacy! In fact, the Lord Magistrate has prevented me from seeing my son all week. And now ... now _this_! I demand justice!"

Duke Turomot glanced at King Jonathan who nodded solemnly. Then the Lord Magistrate banged his brass-tipped walking stick on the marble step and called for silence in the throne room. He directed the guards to take the moaning Vinson to stand between his parents once more and he addressed the embarrassed and scandalized Genlith family.

"I am going to place your son into custody until I am able to try him for his crimes," Duke Turomot said gravely. "You may send in your advocate as soon as possible. It is clear to all of us here that the Chamber is not yet through with Vinson of Genlith. The healers may examine his wounds to see if there is anything they can do for him." Then he stared coldly at the Lord of Stone Mountain.

"Lord Burchard, I assure you," said the duke, "I am well-aware of your son's true involvement with the Mindelan girl's case, however, this is not my courtroom." Then he looked at the monarchs who again nodded their silent agreement to his silent request. "If you wish to subject your son to the ravings of this Genlith boy, you may file your complaint with my clerk and we will schedule a hearing at a later date. Now, sir, I suggest you tend to your _friend'_s distress."

"Very well, my lord." The humiliated Burchard hesitated for a moment and then bowed stiffly toward the thrones. "By your leave, your majesties," And he left the throne room.

Vinson watched the Lord of Stone Mountain depart and an uncontrollable rage consumed him. He shrugged out of his father's grip and ran after Lord Burchard. People moved out of his way and didn't try to contain him as he grabbed the edge of the doorway and shouted down the hallway at the retreating figure of the nobleman.

"Joren of Stone Mountain is nothing but a rich, stupid _pretty boy_!" Vinson screamed. Then he turned back toward the horrified crowd and continued to rant, "All Joren had to do was pay the criminals and make sure that they got the map and directions I made for them. That's all. But was he smart about it? No! He's such an _idiot_; he let the kidnappers see his perfect little face. That's why they were able to identify him so quickly. He should've been more careful. My plan would've worked, I tell you. The Lump and her foolish maid would've been mine! All of this is his fault! Where _is_ that stupid pretty boy? He needs to pay! I'll make him pay! I'll _choke_ the life out of that bastar--"

Then Vinson gagged on the rest of his words and dropped to his knees, clawing at his throat as the invisible hands of the Chamber wrapped around his neck. The harder Vinson pulled and struggled, the harder the Chamber squeezed. Everything happened so fast; Vinson's parents and the palace guards quickly lurched forward to assist the squire, but there was nothing that anyone could do. The Chamber's unseen hands kept choking Vinson until his face turned dark and he lay still on the marble floor.

Kel turned her head away from the scene in front of her; she thought she was going to be sick. Then she caught a glimpse of the triumphant expression on Lalasa's face and realized that the seamstress was quite happy to see her attacker dead. Kel also realized that Lalasa didn't understand that this awful mess might never have happened if they'd reported Vinson's original attack against her to the Goddess' Temple.

The Lord Magistrate's facial expression remained stony as he again called for order. The only remaining sounds were those of Vinson's weeping mother, who was draped across his motionless, lifeless form while her husband and his brother vainly attempted to comfort her. King Jonathan and Queen Thayet asked everyone to respect the grief of the dead squire's family and dismissed the crowd. Then the monarchs and their children quickly departed the throne room.

The people were silent as the monarchs quietly filed out of the room, but their whispers and comments gained volume throughout the hallways of the palace as they returned to their chambers. At breakfast there would be so much to gossip about: the tormented confessions, the revelation of the Stone Mountain scandals and the horror of the Genlith boy's awful death. Everyone who'd seen Vinson's limp body, talked about the way the dead squire's purple face was frozen in a grotesque mask of rage and hatred, even at the end of his life.

Vinson of Genlith finally realized the truth of his situation, but he didn't allow it to set him free. He saw only a bleak future of trial and imprisonment for his crimes and let his twisted mind guide him toward his own death. The Chamber of the Ordeal killed the unrepentant Vinson in the same manner he intended to kill his former friend, Joren of Stone Mountain. Only after it choked the truth out of him did the Chamber set Vinson free.

* * *

_"I still should have reported Vinson at the Temple of the Goddess," Kel said stubbornly._

_"Very well, you should have done," Buri agreed, her face sober. "Next time, you will. And while it won't heal his victims, here's something for you to drink besides self-pity. No court in the land could put him through what he did to those girls. The Chamber did ... The world is imperfect, Kel. But you do more than your share to set things right. Next time, report it. Even if nothing is done because the one reported is too powerful, a record will be made. When he does it again, the record will show he won't stop."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

After they left the throne room, Kel had allowed Raoul and Buri to lead her to a little-used passage and out into one of the more private, snow-covered courtyards. Raoul left his squire in the wise and capable care of his long-time friend and the two women talked about the intense guilt Kel felt for not reporting Vinson after he'd attacked Lalasa. He returned with two steaming mugs of cider and then left them alone again.

Buri wouldn't allow Kel to wallow in self pity. Instead, she encouraged Kel by telling her about the self-defense classes Lalasa taught other girls three nights a week. She also talked about the way that several of her female Riders had found work training young noblewomen to become more adept in handling smaller weapons and bows. Finally, Buri reminded her that King Jonathan was hard at work convincing his conservative council members to change the law the lady squire had thought was so unfair. Kel felt much better when the sharp-witted K'mir walked her back to her rooms.

Kel was grateful to her insightful knight-master for the warm fire crackling in her hearth, as well as the tray of bread and fruit and juice waiting for her on her table. She stomped her feet until she could feel her toes again and then held her hands out to fire to warm them. Then she remembered that she'd gotten up so early to witness Vinson's confessions that she hadn't done any of her morning exercises. It was only after Kel finished several vigorous pattern dances with her practice glaive that she noticed the folded note on her desk.

******************

_K.--_

_My future has been decided. Please meet me in the far stable as soon after the noon meal as you can. I'll understand if you decide not to come, but I do hope to talk to you before I go._

_--J._

*******************

Kel stared at Joren's words for a long time. She thought about the truths she'd heard recently and how much those words meant to her. The truth of Cleon's situation had set her free romantically. The truth of Buri's stories of encouragement had set her free emotionally. Kel wondered if the truth of Vinson's words finally had set Joren free, too.

* * *

**A/N: Goodbye, Vinson - and good riddance! I've always thought TP should have killed that filthy rapist instead of Joren anyway. Sure, her version of Joren was rotten, but she never wrote that he abused women in any way other than fighting with Kel. And speaking of Joren, what do you think - should he go into the Chamber now, or not? I'm interested in finding out which path you think I should send my blond squire-in-transition. Let me know your opinions; this is your chance to influence a part of my story, because I can get to my ending either way. (Yes, I've already written it, but it will still take a while for the rest of the story to get there.) I look forward to your constructive and detailed (hint, hint) reviews. Thanks! :D**


	44. Decisions, Part 1: Guilty Conscience

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: It was thrilling to see that so many of you took the time to think about what you'd like to see happen next! I'd like to thank the following readers for providing such wonderful input and insightful advice: abyssgirl, Finaldream88, Miss Lola D, Kari of Mindelan, pyrena93, jayley, Lintila, Mrs. Nicholas Jonas teehee, LJane, Olive-Whisperer, penguinegg, BookWorm37, Eskimo680, Merkaba7734, confuzzled lil phoenix, SarahE7191, Darth Tater, jo, spazzysassyangel, Mystic_Moon_Empress, and beastie92. You all are awesome! You'll have to wait a few chapters to see what'll actually happen, but those of you who 'voted' for Joren to enter the Chamber as soon as possible will be very happy. ;D Thanks again for helping me shape this story. **

**Okay, I admit it - I don't pay attention to the length of a chapter while I'm writing it. So, once again, I've written a gargantuan chapter (well over 15,000 words!) and it has to be broken into much smaller pieces. The good news is that I'm posting the first three parts almost simultaneously - think of them together as 'eggs' in a 'virtual' basket of plastic Easter eggs that you can break open and discover the goodies inside. ;D I'll post the other three parts after the holiday. Happy Easter! Happy Spring! Enjoy!! :D**

* * *

_"You're an idealist, Kel. I've noticed that about you. See, I try to beat idealism out of Rider trainees. It just ruins their ability to give a fair report. So long as there are nobles and commoners, the wealthy and the poor, those with power will be heard, and those without ignored. That's the world."_

_"I don't accept that," Kel said grimly, shredding her bun without eating it._

_"I didn't say you should," Buri replied._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Decisions, Part 1: Guilty Conscience**

It was difficult for Lady Vivienne of Cavall to believe that Vinson of Genlith was dead. She had known Vinson's mother since they were students together at the convent school. The two women only saw each other on the occasions when Vivienne came to Corus to be with her husband during the holidays, but they'd exchanged letters throughout the years. Pity and grief for the mother of the dead squire filled her heart.

Worry creased her brow as Vivienne watched her husband, Wyldon, staring out of the window of their palace bedroom. It seemed that he'd not moved even a muscle for almost half a bell's time. Soon, the training master would have to go to the dining hall and preside over the pages' breakfast. She knew that the horrible scene in the throne room earlier that morning really had shaken him. Vivienne also knew that Wyldon blamed himself.

"Wyldon, I know you have to go soon, but come sit down for a moment," Vivienne urged him, "Listen to me. That boy's death was not your fault. The Chamber killed him - everyone in the throne room plainly saw what happened. Vinson's own wickedness was his downfall. Darling, please, it's not right for you to beat yourself up over this."

Wyldon turned to look at his wife, but he didn't move from his spot. "Who else but the training master should bear the responsibility for the conduct of the pages and squires under his care? Fool that I am; I let my idealism blind me to the reality in front of me. There were hints and clues - Vinson's demeanor never was pleasant - but I ... I was focused on other things. I should have seen his flaws more clearly, Vivienne."

Vivienne rose from her chair, walked over to Wyldon and wrapped her arms around his solid chest. After all their years of marriage, she knew better than to try to convince him of his innocence in the matter. He still blamed himself for getting injured when he saved the younger royal children from the Immortals' attacks. She just held him silently and hoped for the best.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

During his breakfast, Lord Wyldon received a message from the Lord Magistrate, requesting his presence as soon as possible. Wyldon wasn't surprised. He knew the time had come to make a decision about the fate of Joren of Stone Mountain.

"Thank you for coming so quickly," Duke Turomot said to Lord Wyldon as he offered him a chair. "I hope I didn't cause you to rush away from your meal."

Wyldon bowed and sat down. "Not at all, my lord. I came here as soon as I dismissed the pages from the dining hall. I didn't want to keep you waiting. You've been a very gracious host to the Stone Mountain squire and I assume you'll want to return him to my control now."

"Not so fast, my lord," Duke Turomot said gravely, "I have spoken at length with the king about this case. We both believe that since Squire Joren bravely came to me first and confessed everything that the Genlith whelp later admitted to doing, there might yet be hope for Stone Mountain to serve the realm honorably."

"Do you mean that you want me to put Joren's name back on the roster to enter the Chamber this year?" Wyldon asked incredulously.

The Lord Magistrate shook his head, "No, that's not what I want at all, but it's not that simple. This is where the king and I disagree. I truly believe that another year of probation would be good for Squire Joren. In fact, you probably ought to have considered probation for several of the squires."

Wyldon winced. The Lord Magistrate's comment pierced his guilty conscience. It confirmed to the training master that he wasn't the only one who held himself responsible for the debacle in the throne room.

"Joren of Stone Mountain is one of the most arrogant pups I've ever met, but he cannot help who his sire is," said the duke. "Nevertheless, after all of the vile accusations Vinson of Genlith made, the monarchs believe that the people need to see for themselves that Lord Burchard's son is not a callow coward. I will admit, however, that I've had my own reasons for not wanting Squire Joren to face the Chamber this year."

Wyldon lifted an eyebrow. "Do you no longer have such reasons?"

"You are aware of Lord Burchard's _personal_ situation, are you not?" Duke Turomot asked and when Wyldon nodded cautiously, he continued, "There are many situations on which I do not have a legal standing to interfere. Given such circumstances, I had thought that it would be in Joren's best interest to remain a squire for another year. That way, the lad wouldn't be eligible for a hasty marriage and a dubiously quick fatherhood."

"So the rumors are true?" Wyldon asked, "And you think that Lord Burchard intends to ... to force his son into a marriage to legitimize his ... his--" The honorable and stoic man couldn't bring himself to complete the statement.

The Duke merely nodded. "He did, but the rutting fool has no further need to do that now. I've received news from the infirmary that the unfortunate Lady Gwendolyn has suffered a miscarriage and that Lord Burchard has all but abandoned his wife to attend to his mistress' considerable grief. It's a very sordid mess and I daresay that there will be a lot of unsavory gossip about Stone Mountain for some time to come. Perhaps, if Squire Joren survives his Ordeal and becomes a knight this year, something of his family's reputation might be salvaged."

"Duke Turomot, I admit that I am confused," Wyldon said, "It's difficult for me to comprehend why _you_ of all people have taken such a keen interest in Squire Joren's affairs."

Duke Turomot looked almost like a lizard when he smiled. "Have you ever played a game of cards with the squire?" asked the duke. "Were you aware that Joren is quite good at chess?"

"No, sir, I ... I wasn't," replied Wyldon, a bit confused, "But I've always encouraged the pages and squires to learn about and become proficient at games of logic and chance. They're good activities for building up tactical thinking and planning strategies."

"Well said, Wyldon, well said indeed," Turomot chuckled, "Anyway, Squire Joren and I have had several interesting - and enlightening - discussions in the evenings while playing chess during his stay here. You can learn a lot while the mind is otherwise occupied with trying to win. Did you know that the squire's half-sister is married to a Marenite nobleman, a former emissary to Tortall? I was very glad to hear good news about Lady Anniseth; Joren informed me that she's the mother of two little boys now. It just so happens to be a fact that Anniseth's mother was my late wife's favorite niece. We always enjoyed Lady Cordelia's visits; that is, before she became ill and died at such a young age."

Wyldon blinked. He'd always wondered about the exact reasons behind the duke's decision to have Joren stay in his 'special guest' quarters for the past week. Now he understood; Duke Turomot had wanted to settle a score with the Lord of Stone Mountain in his own devious, but legal, way. Suddenly, Wyldon remembered the stories that Lady Cordelia, who'd always been one of Vivienne's closest friends, told them about her visits with her favorite aunt, the Duchess of Wellam, wife of the Lord Magistrate.

"I see," Wyldon admitted. "Then, my lord, considering all that has happened this morning, shall I inform Squire Joren of the decision to allow him to enter the Chamber this year?"

"That will not be necessary," replied the Lord Magistrate, rising from his chair. "I took the liberty of telling him about that earlier, after I described to him this morning's events in the throne room and my discussion with the king. Then I summoned Sir Paxton of Nond to retrieve his squire. I've encouraged them to report to you as soon as Joren finished putting his personal belongings back into his own rooms in the squires' wing."

Wyldon also rose and replied, "Thank you for your time, sir. I ... I appreciate all that you've done for Squire Joren. I only hope that _he_ understands and appreciates it as well." Then the training master bowed and left the Lord Magistrate's chambers.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lord Wyldon went directly to the squires' wing, where Joren's manservant, Spencer, informed him that the squire and his knight-master had left the room several minutes earlier. Sir Paxton and Joren were standing in the outer chamber of Lord Wyldon's office when he arrived there. He told them to follow him and asked them to sit down in the chairs in front of his desk. Wyldon stared at Joren for a long time before he spoke.

"Squire Joren," Wyldon finally addressed him, "Prior to your 'confinement' with the Lord Magistrate, Sir Paxton and I reviewed your letters and reports from the past year. It appears that you've made great improvements in both your skills and your understanding of the true meaning of chivalry. I would have removed your probation and allowed you to proceed with your year-mates at that time. Why, then, did you turn yourself over to Duke Turomot?"

Joren sat up a bit straighter before he answered, "Lord Wyldon, I knew that I could not confess the full extent of my ... my former friend's involvement in the kidnapping to either you or Sir Paxton without Vinson knowing that I had dishonored my own father's order of silence about the matter. After Vinson wouldn't agree to confess, I felt that my best choice was to admit everything to the Lord Magistrate because ... because he could uphold the law better than anyone else. I didn't know that the duke would take me in and protect me like that. He has explained his reasons to me since then, but at the time, I only wanted to clear my own conscience without placing any more burdens on you or my knight-master."

"I see," said Wyldon. "And now, do you believe you're truly ready to become a knight of the realm? Are you prepared to face the Chamber of the Ordeal?"

"Sir, I ... I don't know that anyone is ever _ready_ for the Chamber," Joren admitted, "But I do know that all I've ever wanted to be is a knight. I want to serve the realm and do great things for Tortall. But ... but after Vinson's death, I ... it's hard to say if I'm prepared to ... to face the Chamber, my lord."

Wyldon cleared his throat, "These are extraordinary circumstances, young man. Both the king and the Lord Magistrate have agreed that you should proceed to the Ordeal of Knighthood with your year-mates. Therefore, I am prepared to place your name at the end of the list in accordance with their wishes."

"Thank you, Lord Wyldon," said Joren. "I ... I will do my best."

"Yes, of course you will," Wyldon nodded once in acknowledgement. "Unfortunately, you are at somewhat of a disadvantage since you were absent for my final instructions last week. And due to your lack of outside contact for the past several days, there are many things about which you may be unaware."

Sir Paxton politely interrupted, "I have been filling him in on most of the ... the current events, my lord."

"Very good," Wyldon nodded again. "Squire Joren, I dearly hope you understand that none of this is happening because of your family's influence or money." His expression had become stony.

"I do understand that, my lord," Joren's gaze didn't waver, "I know I must face the Chamber on my own merits."

Wyldon stood up to dismiss them, "Alright then, Joren of Stone Mountain, you will begin your Ordeal of Knighthood seven days from today. Sir Paxton will see to your final preparations, especially some additional time in the practice yards. No doubt you've gone a little _soft _during your stay as the duke's 'special guest.' Chess is a great mental exercise, but you need to have a sword in your hands again."

Joren blinked. Had Lord Wyldon just smiled? "Yes, my lord, do you want me to follow any particular schedule?"

Wyldon shook his head, "I'll leave that up to your knight-master. Like your year-mates, you no longer are required to serve at the parties and balls or to eat your meals with the junior squires. However, I expect to see you in attendance at all required events for the remainder of the week. Tonight is Prince Roald's Ordeal and I look forward to your presence in the morning in support of your year-mate and the heir to the throne."

"Yes, my lord, I will be there." Joren stood and bowed to Wyldon, "And ... and thank you again, sir."

Wyldon held up a hand to stop him, "Joren, one more thing - I'm sure that there will be many questions and that people will want to know details about you and your family's, er, situation. You are not obligated to give them any answers. Be polite, but if anyone becomes insistent, you may refer them to me, do you understand?"

Joren acknowledged Wyldon's advice with a bow and then Wyldon watched him and Paxton exit his office. Once his door was closed, the training master pulled several thick files out of his desk drawer and began to review every scrap of paper he'd ever collected over the years about the senior squires. He knew that he must have overlooked and misunderstood several things about many of the lads. It was too late for one of them, but somehow, Wyldon was going to figure out where he failed to guide these young men. It was time to make some new decisions, but his guilty conscience wouldn't let him rest until he'd found some answers.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, that's the first part of six. It's kind of a 'sour jelly bean egg' full of character development and plot stuff. But now you know what'll happen soon. ;D Please bear with me; I've written a lot of 'supporting cast' dialogue and such in the next few parts. There's some fluffiness coming up, too, so keep reading! Please R & R. Thanks! :D**


	45. Decisions, Part 2: Hayfever

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Okay, this is the second piece of the huge chapter. Think of it as the 'marshmallow-fluff egg' in the 'virtual' Easter basket. ;D Also, I hope you remember that by this time in ****Squire****, Kel and Cleon took **_**every**_** opportunity they could find to get away from people and they snogged passionately in the shadows and hidden corners of tents or the palace or wherever. So, please don't think my versions of Kel and Joren are too OOC, because I think they're headed in that direction, too. ;D Enjoy!! :D**

* * *

******************

_K.--_

_I know about Vinson and my future has been decided. Please meet me in the far stable as soon after the noon meal as you can. I'll understand if you decide not to come, but I do hope to talk to you before I go._

_--J._

*******************

* * *

**Decisions, Part 2: Hayfever**

Joren sat up high in the hay loft, waiting for Kel to arrive. He'd left a note for her just after the Lord Magistrate released him to Sir Paxton. Both he and his knight-master had hoped to see Lord Raoul and Kel, but neither of them had been in their rooms at the time. Now that he was finished grooming his horse, Shadow Dancer, Joren became more and more anxious, both hoping and dreading that the lady squire would come to the stable soon.

The main reason Joren was sitting up in the loft was that it was his way of ensuring that he kept his hands to himself. His last encounter with Kel, when she was dressed in that fabulous red velvet dress, reminded the handsome squire of how long a time it had been since he'd been with a woman. He figured that if he put some distance between them, he wouldn't be able to touch Kel or to hold her or to kiss her. Joren was fairly certain that Kel wouldn't want to join him sitting up so high.

When Kel finally strode into the stable, Joren silently watched her for a few moments. Today the lady squire was wearing a hooded winter cloak over her usual shirt, tunic and breeches, but she still looked very enticing to him. Mentally scolding himself for having such a one-track mind, Joren forced himself to think of all the ways Kel had ever annoyed him. Then he waited until she'd finished feeding an apple to Shadow Dancer before he called down to her.

"Joren! You startled me!" Kel exclaimed. "What're you doing up there, anyway?"

"Thinking. Making some decisions." He shrugged. "Waiting for you. Thinking some more. I've got a lot to think about."

"I suppose you do," Kel shielded her eyes from a beam of sunlight that streamed through the wooden slats of the stable. "I ... I guess you already know about ... about Vinson. I'm ... very ... sorry."

"I'm not." Joren replied flatly. "You should know that Vinson stopped being my friend a long, long time ago. I'm really not sad about him, Kel. It's true that when we were first-year pages, Vinson was practically my only friend; we'd known each other since we were small boys because of our families' close association. But the whole kidnapping scheme and the circumstances of my trial choked the life out of our friendship - just like the Chamber choked the life out of Vinson. The Chamber did us all a favor; Vinson wasn't fit to live anymore."

"Don't say that!" Kel chided him. "Have you no pity for his parents and his family?"

Joren stared down at her for a long moment before he spoke again. "I _would_ pity them, if I didn't know that they'd influenced my father to make me take the full blame for Lalasa's kidnapping. I'm sure they all suspected that Vinson wasn't in his right mind, but they let him have his way for a long time. And then there's my father and his antics. No, I'm not feeling very charitable toward anyone in either Vinson's family or my own at the moment."

Kel's shoulders slumped and she looked down at the ground. "Then ... then you probably shouldn't feel very charitable toward me, either. I could've reported Vinson to the Temple of the Goddess after he attacked Lalasa, but ... but she begged me not to, so I didn't. Perhaps if I had turned him in, he would've received the Goddess' judgment and then ... and then he wouldn't have been able to entangle you in his kidnapping scheme or to hurt any other women."

"Well, if you put it like _that_," Joren scowled, "Then I'd have to be mad at myself, too, because _I_ knew he'd attacked your maid and I didn't report him, either. In fact, when Vinson came to me afterward, I sent him to a healer to get his wounds fixed."

"That just ... that just doesn't make me feel any better," Kel admitted. "Buri was right - we can only learn from our mistakes and try not to make the same ones again the next time."

"I hope there's never a 'next time' for someone like Vinson," Joren sounded bitter. "He threatened to choke me to death and I have no doubt that he would've done anything to kill me - _and_ you _and_ Lalasa _and_ Mithros knows who else. Were you there? Did you see it happen?"

Kel nodded and her voice sounded haunted. "It was a terrible sight, Joren. The Chamber ... it ... it actually killed Vinson right in front of everyone's eyes."

"I'm only sorry that I missed the whole thing," Joren drawled, "Sir Paxton also told me about Lady Gwendolyn and everything else that happened this morning, so I guess I'm no longer in any danger of being the first of my year-mates to make the trip up to the marriage altar." Then he sighed heavily. "Please, Kel, I don't want to talk about Vinson or his parents or even _my_ parents right now. I assume that you got my note?"

Kel nodded and rubbed her neck as she looked up at him again. "Yes, I got your note, but the news is already all over the palace. Lord Wyldon put your name back on the roster of squires to go into the Chamber this year and it's all anyone talked about at lunch. How ... how do you feel about going in last?"

"Better than I would if I weren't going in at all," Joren quipped. "I just hope I'm ready."

"You are - or at least I think you will be," said Kel encouragingly. "I _know_ you understand chivalry much better now." She smiled up at him. "I guess you might need a little weapons practice, but if you want some sparring partners, I ... I know several men in the Own who'd probably be willing to help you out on the practice courts."

"Several men? Really?" Joren grinned down at her, "But not _you_?"

"I, um ... I think we're still not supposed to fight each other," Kel said, thinking that his smile was very nice. "You know, so that there's no hint of a challenge or a duel or anything like that."

"Ah, I see," Joren nodded, still grinning. "But we haven't been _angry_ with each other for quite a while. Isn't that right?"

"Yes, I think we get along just fine now," she said in a casual tone, "Except that, well, most people wouldn't und--"

"Understand," he finished for her. "That's unfortunate, because I personally think that you and I would make excellent partners - sparring, I mean. Despite the ... um ... brawling ... we were always well-matched during our page years and I ... I think you understand the way I fight better than anyone else I know. Well, other than Sir Paxton - and Lord Wyldon, of course."

"Of course," she said dryly. "What about all your long-time friends?" Kel asked about Joren's year-mates, as well as the conservative knights who'd challenged her so far during the Progress. Surely, some of them were at the palace for all the festivities. Surely, some of them would overlook Joren's family's scandals to help out their friend in his time of need.

Joren shook his head. "Perhaps Zahir or Garvey would have helped earlier, but they're preparing for their own Ordeals now. And honestly, we've drifted apart since we became squires because we rarely see each other. It's almost funny, but many other conservative knights and squires _think_ they're my friends because of the whole kidnapping scheme. They truly believe that I hate you. They just don't und--"

"Understand." Kel finished the word this time, smiling wistfully up at him. "Why don't you come down here so we can talk properly? All this looking up at you is causing a pain in my neck."

Joren slowly shook his head. "No, it's better this way, Kel. Trust me; I'm up here for our own good. It's ... it's less ... _distracting_." His sky-blue eyes stared into her green-hazel eyes without blinking.

It took Kel half a second to understand what Joren was hinting at and when she did, her face blushed a bright pink. She remembered too late that she'd recently promised herself not to be alone with Joren for this very reason. Knowing that he was right made her blush even more. Then she blinked and looked away. She finally glanced down at the stable floor and willed her voice to be normal before she rubbed her sore neck and looked up at Joren again.

"You know," she began, "I'm not really afraid of heights so much anymore. I _could_ climb up there, but ... but I'm glad you thought of this. It ... it's very considerate of you."

Joren grinned crookedly at her, "You're welcome ... Lady Keladry."

"Joren, don't press your luck." Kel warned. "I'm just ... plain Squire Keladry, and I'll thank you to remember that."

"Never plain, Kel, not even today," Joren decided to press his luck, "There's always been _something_ about you, whether you're wearing a fancy gown or a man's shirt and breeches. Just ask Cleon of Kennan; he figured it out first. Although, I suppose we should call him _Sir _Cleon now. I'm glad the big redhead went first. He always was ahead of the rest of us - in height and academics and such. As a matter of fact, Cleon was the one who pointed out to me that there's so much more to you than meets the eye, Keladry of Mindelan. He even was ahead of me when we danced with you."

"He'll be ahead of the rest of you in marriage, too," Kel said, ignoring Joren's not-so-veiled references to the way he saw her at Adalia's wedding. "Cleon's betrothal to Ermelian of Aminar will be announced at the final ball after all of the Ordeals are over."

"Betrothed? Already?" Joren's eyebrows shot up. "She's not--?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Kel blushed again at his inference to a possible pregnancy, "Their mothers have been planning for them to marry each other for ages. It's actually for the best and Cleon will be happy, I'm sure." She rolled her neck and rubbed it again. "Ow! I can't keep talking to you like this. Why don't you just come down here? I have to go back to the palace soon, anyway, and I ... I'm sure we can be civil toward one another for at least a short amount of time."

Hearing that his main competitor for Kel's affections was no longer in the running made Joren a very happy man. Against his better judgment, he slowly flipped himself over the edge of the loft, hung by his fingertips for a few seconds, then dropped down to the stable floor and forward-rolled up onto his feet. Kel giggled and applauded Joren's tumbling trick and helped him brush off the pieces of hay that were sticking to his thick woolen shirt.

When Joren reached around to pluck a bit of hay out of Kel's hair, they both froze in place; they were standing only a few inches apart and could sense each other's body heat. There was no mistaking the intense look in Joren's sky-blue eyes and Kel felt all of her resolve not to kiss him anymore melting away fast. _Hayfever_, she thought as she suddenly felt too warm.

"Civil ... right." Joren said, his voice suddenly husky, "Kel, I want you to know that ... that I intended to keep my distance from you today, but ... but I think I can manage a _civil _kiss right now, can you?"

Kel only shook her head once, but before she could back up or turn away, Joren had pulled her close and kissed her full on the lips. True to his word, his kiss was quite civil - very sweet and gentle, almost polite. But when Kel responded to the kiss with more passion than either of them knew she possessed, Joren's kisses became increasingly less civil. Time seemed to pass by very slowly until they heard the horses starting to get restless. Then they both came to their senses and awkwardly backed away from each other, quietly panting to catch their breath. **(A/N: I'm envisioning a kissing scene between Ewan McGregor and Renée Zellwegger's characters in the movie "Down With Love" - very goofy and steamy at the same time when they disengaged themselves from their kiss at the end of their date.)**

"I ... I'm really sorry about that," Joren said, his voice still husky, but remorseful, too. "I know you don't want my distractions right now, Kel, but I just can't--"

"No, Joren. That ... that was my fault." Kel said hoarsely as she wrapped her cloak tighter around her shoulders. "I shouldn't have coaxed you down from the loft. You were trying to be ... um ... chivalrous, but I complained about my neck hurting and then there were all the bits of hay and we really were standing too close and ... and I ... I should go now." She was deeply chagrined by all her babbling and knew she'd better escape before she said anything else to further embarrass herself.

"There's more that we should talk about, Kel." Joren' voice almost sounded like he was pleading with her to stay, "I haven't had the chance to tell you about all the decisions I made during my time with Duke Turomot. And I just made some more decisions while I was waiting for you this morning. You need to know that ... that some of my decisions involve _you_."

"No, Joren, not until after I earn my shield." Kel shook her head vigorously this time and started to back away from him again. "We can't ... I won't--"

Now Joren paused. Had Kel actually been thinking about going farther than kissing with him just now? He knew the answer to that thought was in the way she'd kissed him, but he also saw the fear and shame in her eyes. Nevertheless, Joren's heart soared at the realization that Kel truly cared about him that much and in that way.

"Kel, I'm going to go away for a while," Joren blurted out before Kel bolted from the stable. His statement stopped her in her tracks, so he continued, "If I pass my Ordeal, I won't be returning to the Progress. I'll escort my mother back to Persopolis and then I plan to visit my sister in Maren. My father will be angry, but I truly don't care what he thinks anymore. There are some things I want to do and places I want to go before I settle down. Perhaps ... perhaps you'll already be a knight by the time I return to Tortall. But I want ... I want to keep writing letters to you. Not like the ones Lord Wyldon and Sir Paxton made me write, but ... but the more personal kind, I suppose."

"You _want _to write to me?" Kel sounded amazed by this because she never would've imagined him saying such a thing.

Joren nodded. "That's one decision that involves you. I'll understand if that won't be suitable. I know you have your duties and responsibilities and all--"

"No, that will be fine," Kel interrupted him, "I'd be glad to exchange letters with you, Joren. It'll be great to hear about all of your adventures."

Joren's happy smile melted what was left of Kel's insides, but she kept her distance from him. She was still mortified by her own behavior and she didn't trust herself to be any closer to him than she was. She'd decided that her resolve needed some major adjustments.

"Good!" Joren nodded. "Another decision is that I'd like to introduce you to my mother while she's here in Corus. I've told her a lot about you and, well, she'd really like to meet you, too. I know you have a lot of holiday party obligations to Lord Raoul and Master Oakbridge, but if it's possible, my mother and I would like for you to visit us at Marbleton House sometime before ... before my Ordeal."

"Alright, Joren." Kel said slowly. "I'll check my schedule with Lord Raoul. There really haven't been very many formal parties or balls this season because of the Progress, so I might have a night off this week. I'll send you a message as soon as I know."

"Then I'll look forward to hearing from you," Joren was looking intently at her again, "I hope you can join us for supper during the week."

"That ... that would be nice," Kel felt suddenly shy. "Are there ... any other decisions concerning me?"

Joren's cheeks turned pink before he answered. "As I said before, I truly intended to keep my distance from you today, because ... well, because I can't control myself around you, Kel. I think you know that already. So ... so I've decided that we ... we shouldn't, um, be alone ... like this. At least for the time being."

"Ah, yes, I see," Kel nodded. "And I ... I agree with your decision. I think that'll be the best thing for us to do."

"Fine," Joren replied. "Then I suppose I'll see you tomorrow morning - at the end of Prince Roald's Ordeal - where there'll be lots of people around us, right?"

Kel just smiled. Joren nodded and gestured to the open doorway of the stable. He let her pass by him without another word. As she walked back up to the palace, Kel's heart was filled with gratitude - and a little bit of giddiness - that Joren recognized her dilemma as his own, too. From now on, they'd just surround themselves with unwitting chaperones to keep from being 'distracted' by each other. Kel blushed again when she remembered that it was _her_ kisses that hadn't been very 'civil' this time and then she felt a strange and wonderful shiver of longing for the day when she'd be a full knight, too.

* * *

_Next came the longest night of the year, the night the crown prince kept his vigil. Kel and her friends stayed up late talking, then rose early to go to the chapel. The king and queen were already there, holding hands. When Roald emerged from the Chamber, white and dazed, the packed room echoed with cheers._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Kel stood between Neal and Owen, far in the back of the chapel with many other squires and pages, cheering and whistling when Prince Roald emerged from the Chamber. She'd caught her suspicious, green-eyed friend staring at her a few times and felt self-conscious about his sudden, unwanted scrutiny. Kel was certain that she and Joren, who was on the other side of the chapel with his knight-master, had made eye contact only once or twice during the time everyone was waiting for the door to the Chamber to open.

"Is it that my hair sticking straight up, Neal?" She finally asked him. "Or do I have something stuck in my teeth?"

Neal pursed his lips, narrowed his eyes and replied dryly, "No ... but you might have some_one_ stuck in your eye." And he jerked his head in the direction Joren was standing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kel replied, "Owen do you know what Neal is babbling on about?"

"I have no idea." Owen shook his head and shrugged, even after Neal pointed his thumb in Joren's general direction.

"How many times do I have to tell you, _Nealan_, that I don't understand you when you get all mysterious with me?" Kel refused to play along and made her face a blank mask.

"Oooh, Nealan is it?" He lifted one eyebrow at her. "Someone's getting testy. And you've got your Yamani face on, so I must've hit a sore spot. What's bothering you, Kel? Is it Stone Mountain again? I know everyone's talking about him. What a mess, huh?"

"Leave it alone, Neal," said Kel. "It's nothing. Really, nothing at all."

"Have you ... spoken with him?" Neal asked, too casually. "I mean, that whole scene with Vinson really seemed to take a lot of the blame off of Joren, don't you think?"

"We are here to support our friend, Prince Roald, remember?" Kel sounded exasperated now. "This is neither the time nor the place to discuss such unpleasant matters."

"Ah-ha, so you _have_ spoken with Joren," Neal quipped. "Just let me know if you want or need a 'second' in a duel. I'll be there for you. My knight-mistress has been teaching me some neat fencing tricks lately."

"Oh, Kel, I'll be there, too!" Owen joined in the conversation. "Especially if it involves challenging Joren. Will you duel him before he becomes a knight? That would be jolly! It'll be much more difficult to challenge him when he's a full knight - assuming that he survives the Chamber, of course."

"Stop it - both of you!" Kel growled under her breath. "There isn't going to be any kind of a duel! I told you before - we're not allowed to fight each other, not even in the practice yards. Nothing like that _has_ happened or _will _happen. Just. Leave it. Alone."

Neal and Owen exchanged curious glances. Clearly _something_ had happened between Kel and Joren, but they knew better than to press for any more details. Kel's face looked Yamani calm, but her eyes were flashing green and that meant she was quite upset. Neal decided to keep his mouth shut; he had a feeling that if he said one more word, Kel would take it out on him the next time they were in the practice yard together. After his last match with his knight-mistress, the Lioness' squire had no desire whatsoever to face off against another angry female with a sword.

* * *

**A/N: Again, this in an **_**Alternate Universe**_** (AU) story; therefore, my versions of Kel, Joren, Neal and others will not be **_**exactly**_** like the original characters. I hope that the differences aren't too jarring, but after **_**43 chapters**_** and **_**six years**_** of elapsed time within the story, I've recast each character to be the way I want them to be. ^_^ Nevertheless, I hope they are recognizable to you and that you like them the way I've written them. Keep reading and reviewing! Thanks!! :D**


	46. Decisions, Part 3: Social Education

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Here's the third part of six of the super-big chapter. I'm going **_**deep**_** into AU territory with the events in this chapter, so you might consider it the 'sugar-frosted egg' in the virtual Easter basket. It's neat to look at, and perhaps a little too sweet, but more crunchy than fluffy. ;D Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Kel grinned. "_You're_ in a splendid mood," she remarked. Getting the book, she saw that Raoul's second-best tunic, wine-colored velvet with gold borders, was laid out. "Is there a party tonight?" she asked, puzzled. She'd received no instructions to report for service._

_"I wish," he replied gloomily. "I've received an imperial command." He lifted a sheet of parchment. "My great-aunt Sebila of Disart, my sire's aunt, matriarch of our clan, orders me to present myself at her house tonight. She and the other local relatives will be there to greet me." _

_Kel didn't understand. "But, sir -- Midwinter and ... family. They go together."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Decisions, Part 3: Social Education**

After lunch in the Own's dining hall, Raoul and Kel returned to their rooms in good spirits. They still were laughing at some of the stories the men had been telling Kel about Raoul's narrow escapes from his great-aunt's match-making schemes. Raoul noticed Kel pick up and open a sealed parchment letter that was lying on her desk. When he saw her smile disappear and all the color drain from her face, he looked over her shoulder to find out what had caused such a drastic change in his squire's demeanor. He received quite a surprise, too.

******************

_To Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Squire Joren of Stone Mountain_

_Marbleton House, Corus_

_December 22, 457 H.E._

_Dear Keladry,_

_My mother, Lady Virryn, and I request the honor of your presence at dinner this evening at our Corus residence, Marbleton House. We were very pleased to receive your message today and to learn of your 'free' evening. We will be most delighted to share your company tonight. _

_Unfortunately, due to unforseen circumstances, I will not be able to escort you to the city myself. Please accept my apologies for this breech of decorum. I will, of course, be able to accompany you back to the palace at the conclusion of our evening at Marbleton House._

_Please wear the appropriate holiday attire for a lady. I believe the gifts you received from your seamstress friend, Lalasa, will be quite suitable. I truly look forward to your arrival._

_With Warmest Regards,_

_Joren_

******************

Raoul stared in disbelief at his squire. _"Dear Keladry" _and "_With Warmest Regards, Joren"_? Clearly, the big man realized, he hadn't been keeping a close enough watch on what was occurring right under his nose. Earlier that day, Kel had convinced her knight-commander that he should send a message asking Buri to accompany him to his great-aunt's holiday party and then she offered to deliver the note personally. It was quite obvious now that Raoul's message wasn't the only one Kel had delivered during the day.

When Kel sent her message to Joren to let him know that she would have the evening off, she figured that it probably was too late for his mother to make last-minute arrangements to accommodate a dinner guest. After all, she'd _never_ think of adding a person to her own mother's table on the same day as a planned event. In fact, Kel's parents were hosting Inness' wife's family for a formal meal that evening and Kel knew better than to arrive at their town house herself on such short notice.

Kel only felt obligated to send the message because she'd promised to inform Joren and his mother when she had a 'free evening.' Now she was stuck. She knew she had no choice but to present herself to Lady Virryn or else she risked offending both Joren and his family. When she looked up from the letter, Raoul was smirking at her.

"Well, well, well," Raoul sounded amused. "It seems I've underestimated you again, my sneaky squire. I guess I should have screened all of those other letters a bit more closely. Now I see that some things have been _progressing_ while we were with the Grand Progress. First you went out and got earbobs and now this. What else is there that I should know about?"

The color had come back into Kel's face with a vengeance and she knew that her cheeks were now bright pink. Her knight-master was too smart not to understand that she'd been in closer contact with Joren than he'd previously thought. After a long moment, Kel finally decided it would be best just to tell Raoul about some of her more recent encounters with Joren, leaving out the most embarrassing parts. She was certain that the knight knew her well enough to fill in the blank spaces on his own.

"So, it's still rather _complicated_, as you always say," Raoul chuckled, "And now you're actually going to meet his parents? Will wonders never cease?"

"Oh no, sir, it's ... it's only Joren and his mother for now," Kel replied hastily, "Apparently, only Lady Virryn is in residence at Marbleton House. From what I understand, Joren's father has remained at ... at his lady friend's side during her time of distress. It's rather comp--"

"Complicated. Yes, I know," Raoul said dryly. "Everything about Stone Mountain seems to be rather complicated. Kel, I promised you that I would help you earn your shield. Are you certain that all this isn't too _distracting_ for you? I'll bow out of your personal affairs, if that's what you want, but I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I still have some concerns."

"I know, sir," Kel almost felt like a child who'd been caught stealing pastries from the kitchen. "And, well, I've only recently decided that it's best for me not to be alone with Joren anymore. I'm not saying that everything is his fault, because ... because that wouldn't be true. I ... um, I like being with him and ... and he likes being with me, too. S-so I think we ... we're going to make more of an effort to stay away from each other unless ... unless there are other people with us." She knew her face was very red now.

"Kel, you amaze me," Raoul scratched his head, "Many young ladies your age - and the men who wish to be with them - do everything they possibly can do to escape from their chaperones' watchful eyes. And yet, here you are, deciding on your own that you really _need _chaperones around you to keep you ... to keep you apart from the man who's courting you."

"Sir, Joren is _not_ courting me!" Kel protested with complete sincerity.

Raoul's eyebrows shot upward and he laughed aloud. "_Dear_ Keladry, perhaps you've not spent enough time with females your own age, because I can assure you that a gentleman does _not_ write a letter such as this unless he feels great affection for the lady to whom he has written it. Joren might not have asked for your hand or anything so serious yet, but this letter certainly bears the markings of a courtship. Mithros, Kel! I can see that the Lioness is right -- I _have_ neglected your social education." Then he sighed and shook his head for emphasis.

"The ... the Lioness?" Now Kel was confused and her voice dropped to a whisper. "Why would she say such a thing, sir?"

"Do you remember when we caught you off-guard this summer?" Raoul asked, "When you were so surprised to see my dinner guest that you dropped the finger bowl?"

Kel nodded. She'd been embarrassed and horrified at splashing water on Sir Alanna's dress. Even though the king's champion told her to relax, Kel had had a difficult time holding herself together for the duration of that banquet.

"While you were retrieving a fresh finger bowl," Raoul continued, "Alanna scolded me for quite a number of things -- not the least of which was your lack of training as a young lady."

"But, sir, I don't need--" Kel tried to say, but Raoul held up his and to silence her.

"Alanna told me that when she was your age, _she_ had to sneak out to town for 'lady lessons' with the woman who's since become her mother-in-law. Of course, we all thought she was 'Alan' back then, so none of us knew about her needing to learn those things." Raoul chuckled and then went on, "I nearly dropped my own drink when Alanna asked me if I'd made any arrangements for you regarding such 'lady skills' as properly walking and sitting in a dress, curtsying and pouring tea and so on."

"Lord Raoul, I can assure you that I'm able to do all of those things. My mother--" Kel tried to explain, but Raoul wouldn't let her finish.

"Kel, your _mother_ is not in charge of your training -- _I_ am," Raoul's eyes were twinkling with mirth now. "You're already half-way through your years as a squire and I have very little idea of your proficiency in the so-called 'gentler' skills. It's obvious to me that you didn't even recognize the true significance of Joren's letter. Yes, I know you're going to be a knight and all, but you'll also be a _lady_ and there's no use fighting it."

"Sir, I'm _not_ fighting it," protested Kel, "It's just that, well, I didn't expect this ... this invitation so soon."

"Ah, well," Raoul continued, "Now that you've received such a timely invitation to dine with the person _whom you say is not courting you_ and his mother, this will be the perfect opportunity for me to assess some of your 'lady skills' and determine if you'll require further social education. And, coincidentally, Marbleton House is on the same street as my great-aunt Sebila's house. Buri and I can escort you to your dinner engagement and then all four of us, including Squire Joren, may return together after my party appearance is over. It'll be a sort of ... test. I assume this statement here is referring to a gown that will be appropriate for you to wear this evening, right?" And he pointed to the last paragraph on the parchment.

"Yes, sir," Kel answered glumly. This had just become a bad dream that she couldn't escape.

"Oh, don't look so forlorn, Kel," Raoul said heartily as he patted her on the shoulder, "Remember, '_Midwinter and ... family. They go together._' and all that? I must admit that I was a little jealous of you getting to stay here, reading a good book in your room, while_ I _would have to endure the social scrutiny of my extended family. But now we _both_ have somewhere special to go tonight. Ah, yes! I'm feeling so much better about the whole evening already."

Kel knew she was beaten. Raoul was enjoying her discomfort very much and she could tell that, 'social education' or not, he intended to use this opportunity to the fullest extent. The only thing that could save her now would be a sudden mission for the Own to ride out and fight against a band of marauding bandits or crazed Immortals, but that seemed highly unlikely to happen.

Kel just glared at her knight-master and repeated the words she'd said before and that she'd probably say again, "Sir, you are a _bad_ man."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Kel thought that the first part of the evening went very well, all things considered. Raoul joked that lots of tongues would be wagging all over the court that he'd escorted not one but _two_ well-dressed ladies out of the palace gates. Buri complimented Kel's attire, but she lamented over the fact that the tiny gold studs in her earlobes and the delicate chain that held her pregnancy charm were that the only pieces of jewelry the squire was wearing because they were the only pieces of jewelry she owned.

"Ah-ha!" Raoul exclaimed victoriously, "_There's_ an area that'll need work. You don't own any accessories, Kel; therefore, I doubt that you even know how to accessorize properly. Look at Buri - notice how her black pearl earbobs and the elaborate silverwork of her pearl necklace complement the stitching on her gown. And see the way the dark gray silk of her gown shimmers when she walks; it echoes the same sheen of the pearls. It all goes together quite nicely."

Both women looked at him strangely for a moment, but said nothing as they walked the short distance to the wealthiest section of town homes near the temple district outside the palace gates. Kel marveled at the size of the grand town houses; her parents' home a few streets over was quite modest in comparison. Raoul got great pleasure from a quick stop at his great-aunt's house to introduce Kel to everyone before he and Buri escorted her to Marbleton House.

"Who did you say this lovely young lady is?" said Dame Sebila of Disart in a too-loud voice, "I thought you said she's your _squire_."

"That's exactly what I said, Aunt Sebila." Raoul smiled wickedly as he observed his relatives' various reactions. "This_ is_ Squire Keladry of Mindelan, the same squire I've had for two years now."

"But that's not right! This is not a squire -- this is a properly-dressed girl!" The elderly matriarch was thoroughly confused now. "The person I saw at the palace definitely was not _this_ girl. Who is she again?"

Kel disliked being put on display in such a manner, but she told herself that this was her punishment for having had too much unsupervised time alone with Joren. She endured the scrutiny of all the other ladies at the party until Buri finally whispered to Raoul that it would be unforgivable if Kel was late to her dinner engagement because of his fun. Kel decided she liked the Commander of the Queen's Riders more and more with each encounter they had.

Joren's reaction to seeing Kel in the foyer of his beautifully decorated home confirmed all of Raoul's suspicions. Despite whatever Kel thought, the handsome young man, who was dressed formally in a black velvet tunic with a white silk blouse and white hose, definitely had the look of courtship written all over his face. Apparently, Lady Virryn, who was wearing an elaborate gown of dark blue silk, also recognized the look on her son's face and smiled knowingly when Joren introduced Raoul, Buri and Kel to her. Once Raoul was certain that his squire had passed the 'test' of gracious curtsying and introductions, he and Buri went back to his aunt's party. They promised to return in a few hours to collect the squires and escort them back to the palace.

Kel felt a slight moment of panic when she was all alone with Joren and his mother, but she relaxed when she saw that Joren's manservant, Spencer, would be serving them their supper. She greeted the older man with genuine cheer and didn't notice the quick look of approval that passed between Lady Virryn and her maid, Agnes. The meal was delicious, and Kel relaxed enough to enjoy the small talk about various regional holiday traditions and where the Progress would go after the holidays were over.

Joren didn't say very much. He kept thinking about the way his father had chosen to spend the most family-centered day of the year away from his family. Joren and his mother had waited for Lord Burchard to arrive at Marbleton House so that they could exchange Midwinter gifts, but he never came. Joren was certain that the Lord Magistrate had sent his father a message to inform him of his release. The disappointed squire finally decided that he was glad his father wasn't there and then he relaxed when he saw that his mother was beginning to like Kel.

After supper, Lady Virryn invited Kel into her sitting room for tea and apple tarts. Joren gave Kel an encouraging glance and went off to a different part of the spacious home. Virryn offered Kel a comfortable chair and then sat across from her with a small table between them. Kel offered to pour the tea and explained about her time in the Yamani Islands with her parents. Then Virryn talked some about her original home fief of Dunmoor, a bit more about Stone Mountain, and then a lot more about her new villa in Persopolis. Kel had the feeling that Joren's mother truly wanted to speak of something more important, and after a while, the _real _conversation began.

"Joren has told me a lot about you, Squire Keladry," Virryn began, "But I must say that I am confused about something. How is it that _you_ - a mere girl, mind you - were able to teach my son to read and write when some of the finest tutors in the realm failed to do so?"

Kel blinked. This was not what she'd expected. "I beg your pardon, my lady, but I didn't really teach Joren how to read and write - he already knew how to do those things. I just ... helped him figure out better ways to put everything all together."

"Squire Keladry, you're too modest for your own good," Virryn countered, "I _know_ my son was failing academically. I _know_ he hated to read and we hardly ever received letters from him during his page years. I _know_ he was hateful toward you and yet ... and yet, you helped him anyway. What I _don't_ know is how you did what you did. Please tell me."

Kel sipped her tea and then took a deep breath. She explained about her brothers Conal and Avinar and how they'd had trouble learning their letters and numbers, too. She talked about the Yamani methods of teaching that her mother discovered and how much the 'flash' cards had helped her brothers to overcome their academic difficulties. Kel didn't talk about Joren's initial resistance to her help or about the 'trade-offs' they eventually made when he finally could get passing marks on his work by himself.

Lady Virryn listened with keen interest to the fascinating young lady sitting in front of her. She had seen Squire Keladry of Mindelan in a few jousting contests and had been mildly disturbed that such a girl could unseat older, seasoned knights. She'd listened to her son's earlier rants about the infuriating girl page who wouldn't leave the palace training to the hard-working, honorable males. She'd also heard all manner of coarse stories from her husband and his friends about the 'obvious' pitfalls of having a female train with males at the palace. But the more Kel talked, the faster all of the negative things Virryn had ever heard or believed about the lady squire dissolved.

"So, how many brothers and sisters do you have?" Virryn asked when Kel finished talking about Joren's academic progress. "My son jokes that your family keeps growing larger every year and that people with Mindelan blood in their veins will soon overtake the land."

Kel chuckled. "It's true that there are lots of children and grandchildren and more on the way. I have three older brothers and four older sisters. I also have one brother who's younger than I am. Everyone is married and has several children, except Conal, Avinar and me. My sister Oranie is due to deliver her first child very soon and my sister Adalia - the one Joren knows from Nond House - is expecting her second child this summer. It's hard for me to believe, but my oldest nephew will start page training soon. I suppose our family tree is more like an orchard." Kel smiled at her little joke.

"Your mother is a very fortunate woman," Virryn said wistfully. "Our family tree is a shrinking vine. I have only one brother and he has only two young children, one boy and one girl. Joren has a half-sister who has two small boys now, but she lives in Maren. My ... my husband has only one brother and he ... he never married."

There was an awkward silence and then Kel said, "Joren mentioned that he might visit his sister sometime soon. Are you planning to accompany him to Maren?"

"Oh, no, I couldn't." Virryn shifted uncomfortably. "Anniseth and I ... we don't really get along well with each other. But I think it will be ... good for Joren to ... to reconcile with his sister. Given the current ... circumstances, she's likely to be the only legitimate sibling he'll ever have."

Following another awkward silence, Kel decided to change the subject to something hopefully a bit more pleasant for both of them. "Joren also mentioned that you've planted a lovely garden at the villa. What types of plants grow well there?"

Lady Virryn was able to speak about the many varieties of plants in her garden for quite a while. Kel expressed an interest in the plants that would yield edible fruits and vegetables. She'd thought that the desert climate was too restrictive for such things, but Joren's mother told her about the local gardeners she'd hired to help her select the best varieties of plants and she hoped for a nice little harvest before the summer's end.

When Joren came into the sitting room, he was carrying several wrapped boxes, which he placed on a low table. Kel realized with horror that since Joren had been home only the one day, they were going to exchange Midwinter gifts now. She hadn't thought to bring anything with her because most people had celebrated the previous day. Lady Virryn noticed the sudden pallor of her guest's face and chastised her son.

"Joren, I can't believe you didn't tell Keladry that we were exchanging our gifts tonight, instead of last night." Her blue eyes flashed angrily and her face grew red. Kel could see where Joren got his rosy-colored cheeks. "I suppose you didn't mention that in your invitation, did you?"

"No, Mother, I didn't." Joren happily admitted, "I thought it would be a pleasant surprise."

"Well, it's just rude!" Virryn whispered harshly and then turned to Kel and apologized profusely. "Men do _not _understand that we ladies need a bit more advanced notice for these things. Please don't feel bad, dear. I'll make Joren take those packages out of here and we'll unwrap them later."

"But, Mother, one of them is for Kel." Joren protested. "At least let _her _open her gift now." He looked so much like a petulant child that Kel had to try hard not to smile.

Virryn's lips became a thin line while she fought to control her tongue in front of Kel. She and Joren had so little to be happy about this holiday season and she was determined not to ruin a pleasant evening by embarrassing their guest with an argument. Finally, she nodded her consent and retrieved a small package from the bundle before she made Joren take the rest of them away.

"Squire Keladry," Virryn offered the nicely wrapped box to Kel, "I hope that we aren't being too presumptuous," and she shot a severe glance at her son when he returned to the room, "But thank you for joining us this evening and ... Midwinter luck."

Kel graciously accepted the package, but she hesitated to open it until she saw the pleading expression in Joren's gorgeous eyes. She gingerly removed the wrapping and opened the box. Kel gasped aloud at what she saw there, nestled in a bed of cotton batting: a set of red crystal earbobs and a delicate-looking necklace made of the same glistening crystals. Their color matched Kel's gown exactly.

"I hope you like them," Joren said quietly. "I explained the color of your gown to my mother and we searched the marketplace today until we found this set."

"They ... they're beautiful!" Kel softly exclaimed. "But I ... I can't accept them. I didn't know--"

"Of course you can accept them," Virryn assured her, "Midwinter is a time of giving and _receiving_. Go ahead; put them on so we can see how they look on you."

Kel shook her head. "Please, Lady Virryn. I _shouldn't_. I didn't bring anything for ... for you. Not even flowers or some wine or anything."

"Nonsense!" Virryn exclaimed. "That wasn't _your_ fault." And she glared at Joren again, whose cheeks were a bright red now. "I'm so pleased that you were able to visit with us on such short notice. Now don't fret about this. Just look at the color; these pieces of jewelry were made for that gown! Come along now."

Then Lady Virryn rose from her chair and pulled on Kel's hand to make her get up and follow her. They walked over to a mirror hanging in the hallway and Virryn hesitated for a moment as her fingers brushed against the chain that already hung around Kel's neck. After she fastened the new necklace, she held out the matching earbobs in her hand and watched the lady squire's slightly trembling fingers replace the tiny gold studs with the dangling red crystal earbobs.

Both women stared at the reflection of the young lady in the mirror. Lady Virryn was right, the jewelry looked perfect on Kel and made her gown appear even more fabulous than before. Virryn was touched by the embarrassment she saw in the girl's dreamy eyes - she really was too modest for her own good. But when Virryn caught a glimpse of Joren's reflection, she almost stopped breathing. The smoldering, passionate hunger in her son's eyes looked exactly -- and dangerously -- like the expression she'd seen in Burchard's eyes so many times.

"Joren, be a dear and ask Spencer to bring out Squire Keladry's cloak before he leaves for the palace," Virryn said to 'break the spell' on her son. "And you should retrieve your cloak while you're at it. I'm sure that it's almost time for Lord Raoul and Commander Buri to collect the two of you. We don't want them to have to wait too long for you to be ready to leave. We'll just open the rest of our gifts when you return tomorrow, Joren."

Then Lady Virryn turned back to Kel and said, "Please don't worry about reciprocating. Consider this gift a small token of my deep appreciation to you for ... for teaching my son to _enjoy_ a book and ... and for helping him to be able to write a letter to his mother. Thank you, Keladry of Mindelan. You've done more than you can ever know. I hope to see you again after Joren's Ordeal. And please, you are most welcome to visit me at my villa when the Progress comes to Persopolis. In fact, I insist upon it."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Raoul commented on Kel's new red earbobs and necklace when he and Buri returned to Marbleton House. Buri was very impressed with Lady Virryn and Joren's gift. She told Kel that the jewelry pieces went so well with her outfit that she should always wear them together. Everyone wished Lady Virryn and her household staff a good night and Midwinter luck. Then, as more snow began to fall, the foursome bundled up and walked briskly back up the hill to the palace.

It was a night when many of the squires had joined their families in town for parties, good meals and other social activities. Three of them had decided to meet up on Palace Way to walk back to the palace together after their evenings out. Neal had ventured out to an elaborate family meal at the Queenscove town house to meet - and torment - the young knight from Fief Aili who hoped to court his sister, Mariel. Merric of Hollyrose went with his kinsman, Faleron, to the King's Reach town estate and they both had enjoyed a lively party with many of their mutual cousins and several eligible young ladies.

The three squires walked closer together as the snow came down faster. They could see a group of four people trudging through the palace gate ahead of them. Neal correctly identified the very tall man as Lord Raoul. There was no mistaking the knight-commander under any circumstances. Merric figured out that the shorter woman was Commander Buri and he made a joke about the fact that everyone had placed bets on when she and Raoul would stop dancing around and finally settle down together. Faleron made a rude noise when he recognized that the other man was Joren of Stone Mountain. Then all three squires stopped in their tracks when the torchlight shone on the face of the taller woman.

"Th-that's K-Kel!" Merric exclaimed, his teeth chattering in the cold air. "Wh-whoa! She l-l-looks g-great!"

"Hush! Be quiet or they'll hear us," hissed Neal. He was extremely curious now, especially after his last conversation with Kel. "I wonder--"

Faleron walked on ahead of his fellow squires. "It's too cold to wonder. Let's get inside before we're completely covered with snow!"

Neal opened his mouth to comment on how mysterious it was to see Kel all dressed up, but then he closed it again when he realized that his friends truly were too cold and too tired to care. Once they were back in the squire's wing, Neal bid Merric and Faleron good night, but he kept his door open so that he'd be able to hear when Joren returned to his rooms down the hall. He didn't have to wait very long.

Joren had lingered briefly in Kel's doorway, asking questions about which soldier was good at what weapons so that he could train with them over the next few days. But when he kissed Kel's hand and wished her a good night, he stared into her eyes for a bit too long. Raoul cleared his throat loudly to remind the young man to move along.

"So, Joren, did you have a nice evening out?" Neal leaned out into the hallway and asked Joren when he finally heard the blond squire's door latch rattle. "Was it a party, or perhaps a quiet little dinner?"

Joren glared at Neal for a long moment and then said, "Queenscove, I'm tired and I'm going to bed now. I suggest you do the same." And he pushed his door open. Spencer had arrived earlier, so the fire in the hearth was warm and welcoming.

"Oh, come on," Neal prodded, "I'm just _curious_ about the young lady - the _tall_ young lady - you seemed to be escorting back to the palace. She isn't anyone that _I_ would know, is she?"

Joren drawled, "Curiosity killed the cat."

"And satisfaction brought it back," Neal replied in a similar tone of voice.

"Good night, Queenscove," Joren said as he shut his door quietly, but firmly.

Neal just smiled as he closed his door, too. A lot of things started to 'click together' in his inquisitive mind. Tomorrow's time in the practice yard with Kel would be quite entertaining. Neal knew, though, that he'd better be prepared to run away fast. He'd bet anything that his friend had no idea anyone had seen her all dressed up and in the company of someone everybody, including himself, had always assumed was her enemy. And she probably wouldn't be too pleased to discuss his discovery, either.

Meanwhile, over in the part of the palace that housed the officers of the King's Own, Kel lingered in Raoul's room, chatting with Buri. She'd asked the K'miri lady about the different gemstones found in Sarain and which kind of earbobs went well with certain types of outfits and all sorts of other female frippery until Raoul couldn't stand it anymore. He told his squire that he was somewhat pleased about her level of 'social education' so far, but that it was time to go to sleep, now. He declared that they'd been too lazy for the past few mornings and he expected to see her in the practice yard for at least half of the following day. It didn't occur to Kel until much later that Buri had taken off her shoes and was sitting crossed-legged on Raoul's bed when he guided his squire back into her own room and almost closed the door in her face.

* * *

**A/N: Well, those were the first three parts of the really big chapter. I'll give you the other three parts after the holiday. Again, I appreciate all of you who are continuing to read my story. Happy Easter! Happy Spring! Please R & R. Thanks! :D**


	47. Decisions, Part 4: Foolishness

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to post this chapter. It was very short when I chopped it off of the original 'Decisions' chapter, but then I ended up making some fairly substantial revisions - and then there was the whole domino effect on the remaining parts. Anyway, thanks again for all the wonderful reviews for the first three parts. I'm glad you enjoyed them. Sorry, no fluff this time - because it's mostly a lot of character development - but don't fret, you _know_ there will be more fluff in the future. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Raoul eased the pressure on Burchard of Stone Mountain's throat. The man was not white haired but pale blond, as Joren was. "He was to be the greatest of us," Burchard whispered. "My Lord Wyldon said, after that first year, he was the most promising lad he'd seen." His eyes were adder-poisonous as he looked at Kel. "Jumped-up merchant slut," he whispered. "He was never the same after you arrived. Never. You witched him, cursed him--" His voice was cut off as Raoul reapplied pressure._

_"I am tired of you," Raoul said, his voice deadly soft. _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Decisions, Part 4: Foolishness**

Neal, Faleron and Merric were not the only ones to see Lord Raoul's interesting entourage. Lord Burchard spied the four people from afar as he was returning to Marbleton House. He'd left Lady Gwendolyn because she had asked her lover, the father of her dead child, to depart from her presence forever. She'd finally decided that the scandal surrounding their torrid love affair and the devastating loss of her accidental pregnancy were too much for her to bear. The widow of Haltkindle requested that Burchard leave her alone to handle her grief privately so that she could begin to mend her ruined reputation.

No woman had ever dismissed Burchard of Stone Mountain. He'd been accustomed to having his own way with females from about the age of thirteen. Being handsome and wealthy had always opened bed chamber doors for him; women rarely refused his advances. Now the disgraced man was returning to the wife he'd so publicly humiliated. Both his head and his pride hurt as he walked the short distance back to his family's town home in the Palace District.

Lady Virryn was enjoying another cup of tea and thinking about the nice evening she'd had with Joren and the surprisingly delightful Keladry of Mindelan. She truly liked the young lady squire and thought that a future match between Kel and her son wouldn't be a bad idea. The Baron of Mindelan might be one of the 'new nobility' and all, but Virryn knew that the man and his family had a reputation of loyalty and integrity throughout the court. Her own family could boast of no such regard. She also knew that her estranged husband would not be pleased if he knew she entertained such 'progressive' thoughts.

The servants were busy with their evening's tasks when Lord Burchard entered Marbleton House. He shook the snow from his hair and cloak and checked his appearance in the hallway mirror. When Burchard walked into the sitting room unannounced, Virryn dropped the teacup from which she'd been drinking and it shattered on the floor. The couple stared at each other for a long moment before either of them spoke.

"I've returned." Burchard finally said, but he offered no further explanation. "Who were those people with Joren? I saw them all leaving my house just now as I came up the street." Then he sat in the chair across from Virryn - the same chair in which Kel had sat only an hour or so earlier.

"Hello, Burchard," Virryn greeted him coolly, "Midwinter luck to you, too. We've ... missed the pleasure of your company. Did you enjoy your festivities yesterday?" She shared a wary glance with Agnes, who had come in to clean up the spilt tea and broken pieces of china and then hastily departed the room again.

"No, not particularly." He replied and stayed on his own topic. "One of those people looked a lot like Lord Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak, the Commander of the King's Own. He wasn't trying to recruit our wayward son for the Own, was he?"

Virryn again stared at her husband before answering, "No ... no, he wasn't. And Commander Tourakom wasn't trying to get Joren to join the Queen's Riders, either. They ... they were only here for a moment. It was a social call - to collect Joren and our guest. I think it's nice that they're all able to keep each other company on the way back up to the palace. People do these things during the holidays, you know. Have you been receiving our messages?"

"I ... I haven't been back to my rooms at the palace since ... since that _awful _day," Burchard admitted, and then he called out, "Agnes! Bring me some of that special healer's tea - my head is aching fiercely tonight. And I need something to eat, also!" He turned back to Virryn and said nonchalantly, "There probably are many messages waiting there for me, but I decided to come here first. What did your messages say?"

"Well ... there was the one about our dinner guest for tonight," Virryn began slowly, "And there were others about our ... our plans for Midwinter's eve, of course."

"Yes, yes, I know I've missed quite a few events," Burchard waved his hand as though dismissing the thoughts of those occasions. "Just tell me what's most important."

Virryn waited until Agnes finished setting out the tray of hot tea and pastries for Burchard and then she replied, "The best news is that Joren will enter the Chamber at the end of the week. Lord Raoul has agreed to help Paxton administer the ritual of knighthood. It's quite an honor."

"That is good news, indeed," said Burchard as he accepted the steaming cup of special tea from Virryn's slightly trembling hands. "I'd been under the impression that the Lord Magistrate meant to prevent Joren from going through his Ordeal this year. Mithros! It's about time the old codger stopped meddling in my affairs." After he sipped the soothingly hot liquid, he asked, "So, who was the tall woman with Joren?"

"The tall woman?" Virryn repeated, trying to stall her answer until she could figure out how to tell Burchard that Joren no longer despised the female squire. She didn't think she'd be able to express just how much their son liked his former nemesis without there being a lot of yelling and strife.

"Yes. Was she Lord Raoul's sister or perhaps a niece?" Burchard sounded oddly hopeful. "I never considered it before, but Goldenlake _is_ related to several high-born families -- progressive, but Book of Gold, anyway. We still might be able to get Joren married and have at least one heir for Stone Mountain by next Midwinter."

Virryn blinked. She couldn't believe that Burchard had returned to his foolish and destructive quest for more heirs. She also decided that she definitely was _not_ in the mood to discuss Joren's marriage prospects right now. Burchard was behaving as though nothing was wrong, as though nothing bad had happened between them over the past year. He hadn't offered any apologies nor had he asked for her forgiveness. After everything that she'd endured, Virryn was seething with anger.

"Have you _nothing_ to say to me about ... about Lady Gwendolyn?" Virryn spoke through tightly clenched teeth. "Tongues are wagging from one end of Corus to the other. I can't even show my face at court. You've made us the laughingstock of the season, Burchard! And now, here you are - fresh from the arms of your mistress, no doubt - and you expect me to just ... just blithely discuss tonight's dinner guest as a suitable match for Joren? You _owe_ me an explanation about Lady Gwendolyn _and her unfortunate loss_!" Her face was red with fury.

"Nonsense, Virryn. I owe you nothing of the sort." Burchard drawled. "We've been married for a long time and you've always known how I am. It's obvious that you've been poisoned by the court gossip and there's nothing more for me to say about the widow from Haltkindle, except for the fact that it was a ... a _tragic_ mistake. But that's all in the past and I will not tolerate hearing her name spoken in this house ever again. Now, _who_ was that young lady? I don't recall there being such a tall girl among the ladies at court."

Virryn narrowed her eyes and said, "You _really_ don't want to know, Burchard, and I _really_ don't want to tell you."

He shrugged his shoulders and called for Agnes to come into the sitting room. The maid's face was white with worry when she saw the cold fury in her mistress' eyes. Lady Virryn had been so relaxed over the past few months, but now she looked as tense as ever. In fact, tension now radiated from every corner of the residence. Lord Burchard's sudden appearance at Marbleton House had sent all the servants scrambling to rearrange things to be the way their master preferred them to be.

"Agnes, I want you to tell me the name of the young lady who dined here this evening, and then you may return to your work," he demanded, and then he glared at his wife. "Don't toy with me, Virryn! I am in no mood for any more of your foolishness. This is _my_ house and I have every right to know who's been visiting you here. Now, who was she, Agnes?"

"Y-yes, my lord," replied the frightened maid. "Our g-guest was K-Keladry of M-M-Mindelan, my lord." Agnes bobbed a quick curtsy and scurried from the room.

Now Burchard exploded. "_What_!? You allowed that ... that _trollop_ to enter my house and dine at my table? How _dare_ you?" He stood up and banged his teacup down on the table. His headache returned with a vengeance and he winced from the pain.

Virryn smiled coldly at Burchard and said in a calm tone of voice, "You weren't here, remember? I _did_ send you a message, but as you said, you were not in residence at the location to which I sent you so much important information. Of course, when I didn't hear back from you, I assumed you no longer were concerned about any young lady Joren might fancy."

"I cannot believe Joren still has such foolish notions about that Mindelan wench!" Burchard growled as he began to pace back and forth across the room. "He once informed me that the only reason he went along with the Genlith boy's kidnapping scheme was so that the girl would get kicked out of her training. _Then_ Joren told me that he planned to court the wench after she was forced to become a regular lady. Hah! She'll never be more than a jumped-up merchant slut! I should've _beaten_ that nonsense out of him back then."

"Actually, she's a lovely and charming girl from a large, prosperous and _well-respected_ family," Virryn said. She had decided to relax and enjoy Burchard's distress, and she even spoke in a pleasant tone of voice to annoy him further. "I'm sure Joren likes her more than ever now. Honestly, Burchard, _I _like Keladry much better than any of your other choices for our son, and perhaps you would like her, too, if you weren't so biased against her ambitions. Alas, it doesn't really matter anyway; the lady squire can't even consider a courtship for the next few years. Besides, I don't believe that Joren wants to be married any time soon. He plans to travel for a while after he becomes a knight."

"Travel? Has everyone in this household gone mad?" Burchard stopped pacing. "He'll do no such thing! Joren knows how important it is for him to return to Stone Mountain and marry as soon as we can find someone _willing_ to make a match. And it certainly won't be _that_ female."

"Oh, Burchard! If our son wants to see the world while he waits for the lady squire to earn her shield, then I say let him go and have some fun. He's got plenty of time to think carefully about making a good marriage. It'll be good for Joren to occupy himself with other things for a while." Virryn laughed bitterly and continued in a sharper tone of voice, "At least Keladry is younger than Joren _and_ she's probably still a virgin - unlike your most recent choice for him." Her obvious reference to Lady Gwendolyn made Burchard's face turn purple with rage.

"Mithros, Virryn! I'm thinking of the future of Stone Mountain here!" He yelled. "You know better than anyone that this family's line has dwindled to almost nothing. Our lands will pass on to someone else if Joren makes a poor choice and fails to produce more viable heirs than either I or my brother have done. I chose poorly - not once, but _twice_. And now--" His voice faltered for a moment, "And now, the opportunity for another heir has been ripped from my grasp. Blast it all! I should've forced Langdon to marry you anyway, and then maybe I'd have had better luck finding a more _fertile _wife."

Virryn gasped in horror. Burchard's comment pierced her heart like a dagger and caused tears to well up in her eyes. He'd never said such a hurtful thing to her face before and the cruelty of it filled her with unbearable pain. She stiffly rose out of her chair, walked silently past him and hurried up the stairs into her private chambers. Agnes quickly followed her mistress and held her tightly, gently rocking her back and forth while sobs wracked Lady Virryn's body.

Lord Burchard did not attempt to pursue his distraught wife to her rooms. Instead, he put on his cloak, stormed out of Marbleton House and headed for the palace. He was extremely bitter about the events of the past few days and he was furious about Virryn and Joren's ridiculous attitudes and actions. Burchard ignored the now-throbbing pain he felt in his head as he trudged through the snowy night to find and confront his foolish son. He'd decided that, no matter how late it was or how bad he felt, it was time for him to convince Joren to do what was best for the future of Stone Mountain.

* * *

In his sleep, Joren was hammering nails into wooden boards to build a house. Even though it was a dream, this was an odd experience for the squire because he'd never considered assembling anything so large with his own hands - certainly not a house. The rhythmic pounding of the hammer on each iron nail was almost soothing to his dream-self. Soon, though, the sound became erratic and jarring, until Joren woke up and realized that someone actually was pounding on his bedchamber door.

"Who is it?" Joren hoarsely called out, wondering where Spencer was. "And what do you want at this time of night?"

"Open up, Joren! It's your father!" Burchard's angry voice echoed down the hallway. "I need to talk some sense into you - right now!"

Joren padded across the room and opened the door just a crack. Burchard pushed past him and swept into the room. The sleepy squire looked out into the hallway and noticed that someone else had peered out, too. Blasted, nosy Queenscove! Joren quietly closed his door, crossed over to the table and lit a candle. Then he turned to stare through his tired eyes at his father.

"How nice of you to visit me, Father," Joren drawled sarcastically. "But couldn't this have waited until, say, _dawn_ at least?"

"Don't be pert with me!" Burchard growled as he sat down on one of the wooden chairs and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "I'm in no mood for more of your foolishness."

"More of my--" Joren started and then sat down on the edge of his bed. "Father, please, it's the middle of the night - just tell me why you're here. Mother and I missed you on Midwinter's eve, you know. And I'm sorry to hear of your _loss_ and all, but--"

"Shut up and listen to me!" Burchard said. "I've just come from Marbleton House, where your mother has informed me that you're still entertaining the foolish notion that the Mindelan wench can be some sort of _lady_ for you to court someday. I saw your little group, including that trollop, leaving the house as I was returning tonight. I thought we'd agreed before your trial - the trial where we had to pay _her_ a lot of money because _you_ couldn't keep your mouth shut - that you were not to waste any more time wishing for such a sow's ear to transform into a silk purse. It can't be done - no matter how nice a dress she wears to entice you."

Joren sensed that his father was not in the proper mood for a rational discussion. He sighed wearily and said, "Father, there's obviously nothing I can say to you right now that would put your mind at ease. It's very late, or perhaps it's very early - I don't really know which one it is - and I promise I'll listen to everything you want to say to me when we've both had some more rest. But right now I'm too tired to think straight, so I'm going back to bed."

Then Joren turned away from his father to slide back under his covers, but he didn't get very far. Burchard had launched himself out of the chair and pulled Joren to his feet. He held his son by both arms and shook him hard, the way he used to when Joren was disobedient as a child. The two men were the same height now and their faces were only inches apart.

"You will listen to me _now_, boy! If you pursue this ... this ... _harlot_," he spat out the word, "You will bring shame upon our noble House!"

Joren broke out of his father's grip and snarled back, "Greater than the shame you've brought upon our House with the noble harlot _you_ chose for me? Greater than the shame of having everyone at court thinking that I'd marry your cast-off lover and raise your bastard as my own son?"

The force of the back-handed smack across the face that Burchard gave Joren knocked the squire to the floor and made him hear a ringing sound in his ears. Burchard's voice shook with rage. "How _dare_ you speak with such disrespect against the poor, lost babe who would've been Stone Mountain's next heir?"

Joren used the tips of his fingers to wipe the blood from the side of his now-busted lip before he slowly rose to his feet. He glared at his father with a hatred that threatened to shred his soul. When he spoke, it was barely above a whisper.

"How dare I, you ask me?" Joren hissed, but his voice gained volume with every word he spoke. "How dare _you_, Father? Look at how you've disrespected my mother, your faithful _wife_! I'll have you know that I've spent the better part of the past year studying and meditating on the laws of chivalry, and you, sir, have no honor. Tell me something, were you actually going to kill my mother the same way you killed Anniseth's mother?"

Now Burchard laughed bitterly, almost maniacally, and sat back down in the chair, "Has your sister been telling you bedtime tales from afar? Anniseth has always blamed me for her mother's death. I thought she'd finally grown up and grown tired of her nonsense, but now it's obvious that you're becoming just like her with your foolish, selfish notions."

Joren swayed unsteadily, still a bit dizzy from the blow, and asked, "Selfish? What about the way you treated Anniseth's mother, sending her away to die while you stole my mother away from your own brother? If I'm selfish, then I must have learned it from you!"

"Yes, I can see that Anniseth has gotten to you," Burchard sounded angry and exasperated. "For the thousandth time, I did _not_ kill Cordelia. She'd always been a fragile woman and giving birth to your big-headed sister nearly ripped her apart. Mithros! If anyone killed Cordelia, it was Anniseth. She just continued to decline and the poor thing died slowly over a number of years. And as for _your_ mother, I'd have been better off letting your uncle have her, and I told her so tonight. Virryn never was the same after you were born and she just gets weaker every year. That's what some women do, Joren; they become frail and useless after childbirth and then they die."

"Why, then, has my mother's health returned to her so vigorously since she left the lands of Stone Mountain?" Joren demanded, his tone still spiteful, "I'll bet you were disappointed to hear about how well she recovered in the desert climate, weren't you?"

"I _sent_ Virryn to the desert to get well!" Burchard insisted, "That's what the healers said to do and I did it. How can you think that I'd ever wish ill health upon your mother?"

Now Joren laughed bitterly, "How? I'll tell you how! Because you dallied with another noblewoman, Father. Everyone in our household, including Mother, knows that you usually just tumble the chambermaids or the flower sellers or the girls at 'Lady Loelle's' establishment. But _this_ time you got Lady Gwendolyn with child. I suppose you didn't check for a charm the way you've always warned me to do, did you?"

Burchard raised his hand to strike Joren again, but the younger man caught his father's wrist and held it tight. The older man's eyes opened wide in amazement at the strength he felt in his son's powerful grip. A flicker of pride in Joren's obvious physical prowess flared up in Burchard's mind before the pain in his head surged again to push it aside.

"And when Uncle Langdon refused to marry the widow to cover up your mistake," Joren spoke through clenched teeth. "You tried to make _me_ do it. What did you think my _mother_ would do after that - go away like Lady Cordelia and leave you to your quest for more legitimate heirs? Everyone at court knows of our family's shame now!"

"You _and_ your mother have been listening to too much gossip, boy!" Burchard scoffed as Joren pushed him away and released his wrist. "That's exactly the sort of thing that made your sister so unreasonable. Bah! You're too _young_ to know women the way I do, Joren. They're tricky and they're devious. They'll promise you something wonderful, but they always disappoint you in the end. Lady Gwendolyn _was_ a mistake, I'll admit, but I won't allow you even to think about that Mindelan wench. And you can forget about gallivanting all over the Eastern Lands, too. I realize I've wasted a lot of valuable time, but now I'll work harder to find a young virgin of _genuine_ noble birth for you to marry. I know we can have you married by midsummer at the latest."

Even though he _knew_ he shouldn't say another word, Joren replied, "No, Father, I won't go back to Stone Mountain with you and I'm not getting married this summer. There are so many other things that I want to do with my life right now. I'm going to Maren to visit Anniseth and her family. I plan to enter the tournaments there and test myself against men from all over the world. Then, I'm going to visit the Yamani Islands - remember that trip _you_ promised me, but never delivered? And later, when the woman _I_ care about the most has earned her shield, perhaps I'll be able to convince her to think about settling down with me someday. But I _refuse_ to become like you and Uncle Langdon - chained to those accursed mountains forever."

"Insolent boy! Those mountains are our home!" Burchard snarled and launched himself at Joren again. This time the physically fit squire quickly stepped aside and his father almost crashed into the wall. Burchard whirled around, rage blazing in his eyes and pointed at Joren, "_I'm_ doing what's best for Stone Mountain and _you will obey me_. Now I order you to stop this foolish talk immediately!"

Joren was too overwhelmed to say anything right away. It was obvious to him that his father was not in his right mind. They glared at each other for what seemed to be an eternity. Finally, something broke inside of the squire. Whatever respect he'd had for the man who sired him all but disappeared and he decided he'd had enough of his father's foolishness. Joren also realized that, before he did or said anything he might regret later, he needed to get his father out of his room as quickly as possible. Then he forced himself to calm down enough to speak respectfully and carefully.

"Father, I truly don't want to argue with you anymore," Joren said, "I must face the Chamber of the Ordeal in a few days and I want to keep my conscience clear. I was sorry to hear of the grief you've suffered this Midwinter and I apologize for anything that I've done to add to your frustration. But I am a man now and there are many things I feel that I must do once I become a knight. I ... I hope that you'll respect my decisions - we both know that the gods will stand in my way if I am wrong."

Burchard looked at his son and scoffed again. "You may _think_ you've placated me with your smooth talk, Joren, but you haven't. I'm still your father and you're still my son, no matter how much of a man you might think you are tonight. We'll just have to wait and see what the Chamber does to you, won't we? Anyway, as soon as you're knighted, I'm taking you back to Stone Mountain, where you'll fulfill your duties to our noble House!"

Joren knew it was pointless to argue anymore, so he stiffly walked to his bedroom door and opened it wide. Then he turned to Burchard and coolly said, "Alright, Father, I am exhausted. Sir Paxton expects me to be ready to train with him in a few hours and I won't be able to perform my duties adequately if I don't get some more sleep before then. Please - I'm begging you - go back home now so that we both can get some rest before the day begins." Then he gestured toward the open door.

Burchard stared at Joren in disbelief. First his mistress dismissed him and now his son. "Very well, Joren, I'll leave you to get your sleep as you've requested," Burchard said coldly, his rage barely controlled, "Obviously, now that you think that you're such a _man_, you also think you can do whatever you please. But you are mistaken; being a man means honoring your duties and responsibilities to your higher authorities. You might also think that the Mindelan wench will be good enough for you, but what you've failed to realize is that you must wed a _real _noblewoman, one who will be capable of becoming a proper Lady of Stone Mountain. So go ahead and have your fun now. You'll probably be quite disappointed when you discover that the trollop is no more a virgin than you are. But when you return to your senses - and I know that you must - you will do well to remember that not only am I your sire, but I am also your overlord. And I assure you, son, you _will_ fulfill your duties to me." Then Burchard stalked out of the room without looking back.

Joren closed the door behind him and rested his forehead against the smooth wood. He licked at the line of blood that had dried on his puffy, busted lip and sighed tiredly at the thought of how awful his face would look in the light of day. Slowly, he crossed his room, blew out his candle and slid back into his now-cold bed. And for the first time since he was a new page, Joren of Stone Mountain curled up around his pillow and silently cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Lord Burchard's mind was filled with an almost blinding rage. He felt that everything was horribly wrong and that the whole world had gone mad while he'd been grieving over his lost heir. And he knew whose fault it was - it was that Mindelan wench who'd somehow bewitched his boy, his only son now, his heir. _She_ would have to answer for Joren's continued foolishness and Burchard of Stone Mountain decided to make her answer to him right now. A sudden, searing pain in his head did not prevent the angry lord from going to the wing of the palace that housed the King's Own.

The confrontation with the female squire was brief. Angry wild birds and a ferocious white dog attacked Burchard after he'd smashed through Kel's door and began cursing and ranting at the girl about the bad influence she'd been on his son. The crazed man fought off the beasts as best as he could and then the squire's knight-master burst in to assist her. Burchard's fury only increased when he took one look at Lord Raoul, clad only in a loincloth, and the foreign woman standing next to him who wore only a bed sheet and was armed with a dagger.

"I _knew_ it!" Burchard yelled, "Allowing females to serve amongst the males has tarnished the honor of this once-great realm! Look at this abomination - the Commander of the Own cavorting with _two_ women at the same time! No wonder Mithros no longer smiles down upon us! You progressives have ruined everything - you school the whelps of farmers, let women make war, intermarry with foreigners--"

Lord Raoul shoved Burchard against the wall and applied pressure across his throat with his thickly muscled forearm. The Lord of Stone Mountain fought to pull air into his lungs. He barely comprehended what the giant man growled at him, because the pain in his head was so severe. When he felt the pressure ease up a little, Burchard resumed his tirade by speaking of Joren's promising start as a page and how the girl page's arrival at the palace had ruined his son.

"If it weren't for Kel here," Raoul tilted his head toward the girl, who now held in her hands what Burchard recognized as a Yamani glaive, "Your son wouldn't even be able to read and write properly. I don't suppose you knew _that_. And as for you breaking into her room just now and accusing her of ruining your son, go look in the mirror. If anyone almost ruined Joren, it was you."

"You turned Joren against me!" Burchard growled at Kel through clenched teeth. "He claims he won't return to Stone Mountain - to his own home! He's so deranged now that he even told me he has plans to wait for _you_ - _you jumped-up merchant slut_ - to become a knight so that he can court you. It's unbelievable the harm you've done to my boy! How did you do it?"

"I didn't!" Kel protested. "I don't understand what you're talking about!"

"Hush, Kel," Raoul ordered. Then he released Burchard, who slumped to the floor and clutched his head between his hands. Mithros! His head really hurt now. The big man warned him, "One more chunk of spew and you answer me by the sword, understand?"

Burchard shook his head and looked up at Raoul, his voice betraying his deep distress, "Nothing is the way it should be anymore! Everything is lost! I only tried to secure the future of Stone Mountain by getting another heir. He was a poor, innocent babe and now he ... now he's ... he's lost to me forever." Burchard's bulging blue eyes were filled with tears, but once he got to his feet, he pointed at Kel and said, "And it's _her_ fault that my only living son refuses to come to his senses now and follow my orders."

"I make allowance for your grief." Raoul stepped in front of Kel protectively, crossed his arms over his chest and said coldly. "But if your son wishes not to follow in your faulty footsteps, that is not my squire's fault. In fact, Joren has become a much _better_ person since he shrugged off your burdensome mantel of bigotry and hatred. You really could stand to learn a few things from him. Right now, though, I demand that you leave this section of the palace and do not bother my squire further or I will be forced to settle your insults by combat."

Burchard considered his disadvantaged position and decided to stop struggling against Raoul's considerable might. Raoul then grabbed the subdued man by his arm and ushered him out into the hallway through Kel's doorway. The Lord of Stone Mountain looked as though he wanted to say something else, but the door closed in his face. Once more, he'd been dismissed, and Burchard thought he'd go mad from the pain of his bitter rage.

The swirling snowflakes felt refreshingly cool against Lord Burchard's burning skin as he slipped and slid his way toward the palace gate. The guards quietly greeted the angry-looking nobleman as he approached them, but he said nothing in return or acknowledgement of their salutations. They nodded their respect anyway, and watched him walk out into the darkness. He was less than five meters outside of the palace wall when the searing pain in his head struck again. Then Burchard of Stone Mountain knew no more.

* * *

**A/N: Cue the dramatic music! What will happen next? Tune in next time to ... Decisions, Part 5. (It'll really be Chapter 48.) ;D Again, I appreciate all of you who are continuing to read my story. There are almost 700 reviews as I post this! =) Please keep letting me know what you think. Thanks! :D**


	48. Decisions, Part 5: Fault

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: This fifth installment is the most filler-like of the six 'Decisions' chapters, but it's still kind of long. Please let me know if you think you sent in the 700th review of this story. Somehow, I missed it and I'd love to congratulate whoever it was. :D Also, I know some of you would prefer more fluff, but there's only 'wishful thinking' in this part. ;D I hope you'll enjoy it anyway! :D**

* * *

_Quite a few people visited the Chapel the next morning as Garvey of Runnerspring entered the Chamber. Kel did not, though she heard about it from Owen. The watchers had a long, quiet wait. When Garvey emerged, weak and shaken but otherwise fine, a sigh of relief went up._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Decisions, Part 5: Fault **

While Garvey's family and friends were congratulating him on successfully completing his Ordeal, Kel was hurrying up to the palace infirmary. When she'd returned from her morning jog, she almost stepped on a note that Joren had pushed under her door. After she read it, she decided to show it to Lord Raoul, who told her not to worry about her 'flying' lessons for that day. Then he told her to go ahead and that he'd join her after he attended an important meeting. Kel washed up as fast as she could, changed into her normal duty uniform, and then re-read the note before putting it in her pocket and dashing out of her room.

******************

_K.--_

_My father is deathly ill. My mother is quite upset and I was hoping you'd be willing to sit with her at the palace infirmary while I attend a meeting with Lord Wyldon. She truly enjoyed your company last night and I think she'd welcome your presence today. I'll certainly understand if you cannot come, but please send me a message so that I may find someone else to sit with her if your duties prevent you from doing so. I do not want to leave her alone at this time. Thank you._

_--J._

*******************

Kel slowed her pace as she neared Joren and Lady Virryn, and her blood ran cold when she saw the grim expressions on their faces. Joren's mother looked as though she'd been crying all morning; her face was splotchy and her eyes were bloodshot. Joren looked as though someone had beaten him up; his lip was split and one side of his face was bruised and puffy.

"Squire Keladry, it's good to see you," Joren greeted her formally when he noticed her walking toward them. "Thank you for coming up. I ... I wasn't sure if you'd received my message." He attempted a smile, but then winced as the broken skin of his lip felt the pain of stretching too far.

Kel just stared at Joren's bruised face and split lip before answering, "Lord Raoul will be here shortly, too. He ... he had a meeting to attend." Then she realized that she hadn't greeted Joren's mother and turned to bow toward the woman, "Lady Virryn, I ... I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's illness. Will he be ... alright?"

Virryn bowed her head in return and looked up at Joren before answering Kel, "We don't really know just yet. Duke Baird is ... is doing the best that he can do. He thinks that ... that something inside of Burchard's head ... burst open. The bleeding has stopped for now, but ... but--" And she sat down on a nearby bench, put her head in her hands and began to sob.

Joren sat down next to his mother and gently patted her back. "There, there, Mother. Please don't cry. I asked Squire Keladry to come here and sit with you while I go to my meeting with Lord Wyldon. Isn't that right, Kel?" He looked up into her worried, green-hazel eyes and silently pleaded for her to say something.

"Y-yes, that's right, my lady." Kel said as she sat on the other side of Lady Virryn and put her hand over the older woman's clasped hands in a comforting gesture. "And I can stay with you for as long as you'd like me to."

Virryn accepted a dry handkerchief from her son and dried her eyes with one hand. She changed the position of her other hand so that she now was holding tightly to Kel's hand. Joren was relieved that his mother hadn't made a fuss, but he sighed heavily and stood up.

"Mother, I must go now," he sounded worried, "But I'll be back soon. Send word to Lord Wyldon's office immediately if ... if--" But he couldn't finish the sentence.

"We will, Joren," Kel said and she looked up into his tired, but still-beautiful blue eyes, "Go on, I'll stay here with Lady Virryn until you return. It's alright."

There was an awkward moment while the two squires gazed at each other. All Joren wanted to do was pull Kel into a close embrace and kiss her until she was breathless. Instead, he decided just to reach down and squeeze both ladies' clasped hands. Then he bobbed his head toward Kel and hurried away down the hall and to the stairway.

As soon as Joren was gone, both women looked up and around because they'd heard the sound of quick footsteps headed their way from the opposite end of the hall. The tall, blond-haired man looked strangely familiar to Kel, and once she saw him up close, she knew he had to be related to Joren. He possessed the same handsome appearance, but where Joren was wiry and well-muscled, the older man's build was a bit stockier. And while Joren's eyes were a gorgeous sky-blue, this man's eyes were a stormy bluish-gray under his very fair eyebrows. Lady Virryn released Kel's hand and stood up to greet him.

"Langdon!" Virryn exclaimed. "You came!" She sounded surprised.

"Of course I came, Virryn," the man's voice sounded both pained and agitated. "He _is_ my brother, after all. What happened? Your note was quite vague."

Kel was standing behind her and when Virryn turned to sit down again, she remembered her manners. "Oh! Squire Keladry of Mindelan, this is my brother-in-law, Sir Langdon of Stone Mountain, Joren's uncle. He is in charge of the army garrison at Stone Mountain."

"I am pleased to meet you, sir," Kel politely bowed to him.

The tall man stared at Kel for a moment longer than was polite before he said, "So, you're The Girl? I watched you joust against Lord Wyldon in that last tournament. Your knight-master has trained you well."

"Thank you, sir," Kel replied, "You're too kind. I ... I went flying that day."

"Everyone flies when they're up against Wyldon," Langdon laughed warmly and remarked, "But _you_ stayed in your saddle longer than most. You've been causing quite a stir amongst those in our social circle, but I'm sure you're aware of that. Mithros! I doubt that my nephew could have done as well as you did against the royal training master. Come to think of it, where is Joren?"

"He had to attend an important meeting with the training master and Sir Paxton," Virryn told him. "We've really only been here a short while, because it took a long time for Duke Baird to ... to notify us. Joren didn't want me to be alone so he asked Squire Keladry to come up and sit with me until he returns. He didn't know that I ... that I'd sent you a message, too."

"Humph! Well, I'm pleased to hear that Joren is thinking about someone other than himself for a change," Langdon gave Kel an odd look before he asked, "Great Mother Goddess, Virryn! What happened? How did Burchard end up in here?"

"He ... he came back to Marbleton House late last night," Virryn spoke slowly, "But ... but we argued and then he went out again. Apparently he came to the palace and quarreled with Joren until ... well, until Joren finally asked him to leave. We think that's when he left the palace and ... and fell down." She stared at a spot on the floor.

"That sounds like Burchard," Langdon remarked. "In his anger, he probably wasn't watching where he was going. Hotheaded fool!"

"No, Langdon, it wasn't like that!" Virryn insisted, looking up again "The guards who brought him here in the wee hours of the morning told Duke Baird that he'd barely walked past them and out through the gate when they saw him collapse into the snow. At first they thought he'd just slipped and fallen, too, but when he didn't get up again, they went out to investigate. He was having some sort of convulsions, they said."

"Mithros!" Langdon softly exclaimed, "What could have caused such a thing to happen?"

Virryn shook her head, "No one really knows for sure, but Duke Baird said that a blood vessel or something burst inside of Burchard's head. The healers have stopped the bleeding, but he still might not ... he might not survive. Oh, Langdon! This is entirely my fault! I shouldn't have aggravated him so!" And she began to cry again.

Kel sat down next to Virryn and gently put her arm around the woman's thin shoulders. She had become very still as she listened to Joren's mother telling his uncle what she knew of the events that led to Lord Burchard's sudden illness. Kel had realized with horror that Joren's father was the person who'd hit him so hard and that he must have come to her room _after_ he'd battered his son's face. She also realized that Joren's mother didn't know anything about her husband's attack on the lady squire or how Lord Raoul had thrown the crazed nobleman out of their quarters.

"Virryn! Don't be silly!" Langdon gently chastised the sobbing woman, "I'm sure that you are not the reason Burchard collapsed. What I want to know is why did it take so long for someone to notify you?"

Virryn hiccupped and sniffled as she dried her eyes. Then she sighed wearily before she continued, "Obviously, Duke Baird is quite familiar with everything that goes on here in the palace. He was the healer who ... who helped them when Lady Gwendolyn lost ... when she lost her unborn child. Baird knew that Burchard had been staying with ... with the widow and so he sent word of Burchard's collapse to _her_ residence first. It ... it took a long time for Lady Gwendolyn to reply that she no longer has anything to do with him. Then Baird decided to notify Joren, who sent a message to me, and then I decided to tell you."

Virryn had just finished speaking when Duke Baird of Queenscove, the Chief Royal Healer - and Neal's father - came out into the hallway to speak with her. His eyes registered a bit of shock when he saw Squire Keladry and Sir Langdon sitting with the Lady of Stone Mountain. He quickly recomposed himself, though, and silently wondered what could have brought this little group together? A far as Baird knew, his son's friend, Kel, wasn't on friendly terms with anyone from Stone Mountain. Even the residents of Stone Mountain weren't on friendly terms with each other.

First of all, Baird remembered all of the juicy court gossip that surrounded Stone Mountain back when Lady Virryn broke off her betrothal to Sir Langdon and married the newly-widowed Burchard instead. Langdon had stormed away from Stone Mountain and stayed away until the king ordered him to return to his command of the garrison back at his home fief. Baird's wife and her friends had talked about the scandal for weeks, until the joyous birth of Crown Prince Roald became the main topic of discussion. Secondly, Baird had healed enough of the injuries that Joren had inflicted upon Kel during their page years - and he knew enough about Joren's trial - to think that Neal's friend would be the _last_ person to be sitting with and comforting the bully's mother.

"Lady Virryn, Sir Langdon, Squire Keladry," Baird nodded to each one of them, "It's been a difficult morning so far; however, there is good news and there is bad news. Which would you care to hear first?"

Virryn glanced at Langdon before she answered, "Let's hear the bad news."

"Alright then," Baird nodded again, "My healers and I have done all that we can for now, but is highly unlikely that Lord Burchard will ever be the same as he was before. He probably won't walk again, and he might not even speak for quite some time. Lady Virryn, you will need to hire a full-time nurse for your husband and I recommend that your regular healer contact me for further instructions regarding his care."

Silent tears ran down Virryn's face as Duke Baird spoke. Kel's Yamani training held her steady when Lady Virryn nearly crushed her hand upon hearing the bad news. Kel glanced at Sir Langdon's face, but his expression was unreadable. She wondered about the relationship the knight had with his brother and sister-in-law.

"And the good news?" Langdon asked.

"Well, the good news is that Lord Burchard is in stable condition," Baird said carefully, "We hope he'll awaken later today so that we may determine if he is able to feel any sensations in his limbs. That is, if he is able to communicate with us."

"So, he'll probably be an _invalid_ for the rest of his life?" Langdon sounded slightly annoyed. "That's just ... wonderful." But there was no joy in his statement.

Duke Baird had opened his mouth to say something else when Joren, Sir Paxton and Lord Raoul came up the stairs and into the hallway. He waited for the three men to join the group before he continued. Kel made eye contact with her knight-master and he knew instantly that the situation was not good.

"Good morning to you all," Baird began again, "I've just finished telling Lady Virryn about Lord Burchard's condition. He is not yet conscious, but I'm going to allow her to come into the infirmary and see him for a short time. Sir Langdon can fill you in on everything I've said." Then he lightly grasped Virryn's elbow and ushered her through the infirmary doors.

While Langdon recounted to the newcomers all that Duke Baird had told them, Kel quietly moved back to the bench and stood beside it. Her mind was reeling with all the information she'd heard that morning. Waves of guilt washed over her and her stomach churned with nausea at the thought that she and Lord Raoul probably were the last people who spoke with Lord Burchard before he decided to leave the palace. From all the hateful things that Joren's father had said to her, Kel knew that she had been the main source of his distress.

Joren surreptitiously watched Kel as she withdrew from the group. He was very glad that she'd stayed with his mother. Once Lord Wyldon learned of the seriousness of the situation, he postponed their meeting and released Joren to return to the infirmary. Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton requested to accompany him and he agreed. When they all arrived, Joren was quite surprised to see his Uncle Langdon at the infirmary, and now he wondered if the conservative knight had said something to offend or upset Kel. It took every shred of willpower Joren possessed to prevent himself from rushing to Kel's side and trying to comfort her.

Raoul also saw that his squire looked very pale and not quite her normal self. As soon as Sir Langdon finished explaining Burchard's current status, he walked over to Kel and quietly told her to follow him. Sir Paxton brushed past them and explained that he would return after he gave Lord Wyldon an update of the situation. They walked down the hallway in silence until Raoul was certain that they were far enough away from the others to have a private conversation.

"Alright, Kel, what _else_ is the matter?" Raoul asked, "I can see that something is causing you a lot of distress. Is there more information that Sir Langdon hasn't shared with us?"

Kel shook her head and made her face Yamani calm. When she spoke, though, her voice gave away her true feelings, "None of them know about Lord Burchard's ... um ... visit with us last night. They don't know that he came to my room and attacked me. They don't know that you had to ... to put a _choke-hold_ on the man to keep him quiet when he kept saying such awful things about me and ... and Joren. Lord Raoul, this is _my_ fault!" Kel fought hard to maintain her mask, but she couldn't prevent a wayward tear from rolling down her face.

Raoul put his large arm around Kel's shoulders in a very fatherly way and completely shielded her from the others' view. He let her dry her face with a handkerchief and waited for her to regain control of herself. Then he spoke to her sternly.

"Squire Keladry, I want you to listen to me very carefully," Raoul began, and Kel knew he was quite serious because he rarely addressed her in that way. "You are no more responsible for Lord Burchard's physical condition than are either his son or his wife. On our way up here, when _I_ told Joren about his father's late-night tirade in your room, he expressed a lot of regret and guilt that you had to endure any of that. And from what Joren said about his mother's distress, it seems that she feels just as guilty as the two of you do. The fact is that neither of you is entirely at fault; Lord Burchard was out of control last night and he most likely brought this upon himself!"

"But, sir," Kel insisted, "None of this would have happened if ... if I hadn't gone to supper at Marbleton House. Then Lord Burchard wouldn't have seen me with Joren and become so upset. If it weren't for me, perhaps he'd still be ... he'd be alright." Her shoulders slumped as she wallowed in her guilty feelings.

"Nonsense!" replied Raoul. "You can't possibly know that, Kel. Joren's father was already upset over a number of things - his marital infidelity had been exposed in a very public and humiliating manner; his lover's womb had expelled their unborn son and then she dismissed him after he'd chosen to stay by her side; and then there's the resignation of his long-time steward, Ebroin of Genlith. Apparently, there's been a major falling out between the two families since Vinson's death. Kel, when you said your relationship with Joren of Stone Mountain was complicated, you didn't know the half of it."

Kel blinked. "I ... I suppose you're right, my lord." She was stunned by all the things that Raoul said.

"My great-aunt and her other guests were quite insistent on sharing all the latest gossip with Buri and me." Raoul sounded almost disgusted. "The most repeated rumor throughout the court right now is that the main cause of Lord Burchard's collapse was Lady Gwendolyn's abrupt dismissal of him. Kel, I'm telling you the truth: Joren's father could have used any of those reasons - or even situations that none of us know anything about - to be quarrelsome last night. This is _not_ your fault."

Kel gave Raoul a doubtful look. He silently rebuked her skepticism by shaking his head in mock disgust. Fortunately, she was saved from more of his lecturing her when Lady Virryn emerged from the infirmary. Raoul led Kel back down the corridor to rejoin the group.

"He's sleeping peacefully now," Virryn informed everyone in a calm voice. "Duke Baird says that he'll allow one person at a time to sit with Burchard, in case he awakens. I will stay here first." She seemed much more composed than she had earlier.

"Mother, why don't you let me do that, so you can get some breakfast?" Joren offered, "It's been a long morning and I'm sure you must be hungry by now."

Virryn shook her head, "Oh no, I couldn't possibly eat at a time like this! I ... I really feel that _I_ need to stay with Burchard now. Please, all of you, just go on down without me. There's no point in everyone starving to death. Joren, you can bring me a roll or some fruit for later."

"But, Mother--" Joren began again and Virryn held up her hand to stop him from continuing.

"I've made my decision, Joren, and that's that!" She said sternly and then her voice became pleasantly mild again. "I just want to thank everyone for being here this morning - especially you, Squire Keladry."

Then Virryn stepped past the men, embraced Kel and kissed her lightly on each side of her face. Both Kel and Joren were speechless after such a display of warmth and affection. Both Langdon and Raoul raised their eyebrows in interest and surprise at the scene in front of their eyes.

"_You_ are a gift from the gods, Keladry of Mindelan," Virryn continued to gush as she held Kel at arm's length. "I'm so thankful that my son had the presence of mind to ask if you'd come up to be with me this morning. I think I should be fine now that Langdon is here to keep me company. And we will keep you informed of Burchard's progress, won't we Joren?" Then she released Kel and grasped Joren's hand.

"Um, yes ... yes, of course we will," Joren agreed, feeling pleasantly awkward because of his mother's familial behavior toward Kel.

"Then we'd better go to the dining hall now," Langdon said, somewhat impatiently. "The sooner we eat, the sooner we can return. Come along, Joren." And he started walking down the corridor. Joren truly wanted to embrace and kiss Kel, too, but he restrained himself and just smiled wistfully at her. Then he quickly hugged his mother around her shoulders and hurried after his uncle.

Raoul mentioned to Lady Virryn that Kel might be able to come up a sit with her again after the squire completed her other tasks for the day. They both bowed to Joren's mother and watched as she disappeared back inside the infirmary. Then Raoul motioned for his squire to follow him and they went directly to the Own's dining hall. They ate heartily - and mostly in silence - but Kel knew there something more her knight-master wanted to say to her. Finally, Raoul pushed away his breakfast tray and began to speak.

"It's a good thing that Joren's uncle arrived when he did." Raoul's dark eyes twinkled with mischief. "I know you would've stayed if Lady Virryn had needed you to do so, but you'd have started eating that bench within the hour."

"Very funny, sir," Kel said dryly. "Actually, I wasn't even hungry until we came down here." She was tempted to throw her third roll at him, but she didn't want him to decide that they'd have time for jousting after all. She put it in her pocket to feed to the sparrows later. Then she asked, "So, what other tasks must I complete today?"

"Nothing, actually," Raoul shrugged as he confessed. Then he smirked at Kel before he continued in a conspiratorial whisper. "I just thought it might be a good idea to get you away from Lady Virryn before she proposed a betrothal between you and Joren right then and there. It's quite obvious to me that you need not worry about Lord Burchard's disapproval of Joren courting you in the future, Kel, because you've already won over his mother's heart. And according to many of my married friends, that is not an easy task for any woman to accomplish - even after _years _of marriage!"

Kel's face turned beet-red. Raoul's insights were just too close for her comfort. She wanted to slide underneath the table and hide from his scrutiny. She also wanted Raoul to stop talking about her relationship with Joren and their potential courtship - or whatever it was that they were doing. Sometimes Kel wished that she'd never confided so much about her private life to her knight-master, even though she had to admit that the big man made a great chaperone.

When she saw him that morning, Kel knew that Joren really wanted to hold her or touch her or kiss her. She'd seen the intense desire smoldering in his eyes and, despite all the horrors of the past evening's events, she'd wanted the same things, too. If Lord Raoul and the others hadn't been there with them, she definitely would have decided to let Joren hold her and kiss her - and she would have held him and kissed him in return. Kel winced as another wave of guilty feelings washed over her. It promised to be a very long day.

* * *

**A/N: As you might have noticed, all of the characters are making decisions that are having or will have major impacts on their lives. Some of the choices are good and others are not so good. That's why these past few chapters all have been named 'Decisions.' Several of you have been making some interesting guesses about the direction of my story, but I still have some surprises up my sleeve. ;D Keep on reading and reviewing! Thanks!! :D**


	49. Decisions, Part 6: Facing the Future

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: This is the longest chapter I've _ever_ written and now the story is over 200,000 words! **squee!** In other news, congratulations (belatedly) to abyssgirl, who sent in the 700th review of this story! :D Yay! Big, warm, gooey chocolate cyber-chip cookies to you, abyssgirl!! Also, I'm sending out a tremendous 'Thank You!' to ****crumblycookie71615****,**** who reminded me to take care of a very important issue within the story. I had to make major revisions to this chapter because of it and even though it almost doubled in size, I hope it's better now. (I just couldn't bear to break it into smaller pieces.) Anyway, this monstrosity is the sixth and _final_ part of the ridiculously long 'Decisions' chapter. Grab a comfy cushion before you start to read it! ;D Enjoy!! :D**

* * *

_"And the good news?" Langdon asked._

_"Well, the good news is that Lord Burchard is in stable condition," Baird said carefully, "We hope he'll awaken later today so that we may determine if he is able to feel any sensations in his limbs. That is, if he is able to communicate with us."_

_"So, he'll probably be an __invalid__ for the rest of his life?" Langdon sounded slightly annoyed. "That's just ... wonderful." But there was no joy in his statement._

* * *

**Decisions, Part 5: Facing the Future **

The first thing that Burchard of Stone Mountain realized about his current condition was that he no longer was tethered to his body - his weakening and dying body. He had become two separate beings: one was his physical self, lying unconscious on a bed in the palace infirmary and the other was this insubstantial, ghost-like self that was very much aware of everything going on around him. Initially, he could hover only directly above himself, but then he discovered that the feebler his body became, the further away from it he could travel.

That's how Burchard found out about his true diagnosis. His spirit-self had traveled through the infirmary doors with Duke Baird when the healer went out to speak with his family. That's where Burchard saw Virryn squeeze the Mindelan wench's hand in her anguish and then he heard the disdain in Langdon's voice. That's when Burchard decided he could not face his future life as an invalid, not even for a short amount of time.

Burchard watched as Joren, Paxton and Lord Raoul arrived and Langdon told them the bad news, too. He couldn't understand why the commander of the Own and his trollop of a squire were even here with his family. What business of theirs was his physical condition? Burchard wondered about these things as he followed Virryn back inside to where his body lay. He felt a perverse pleasure at seeing his wife nearly collapse with grief at his bedside.

"_Good_," Burchard thought, "_Virryn needs to feel sorry for failing me so completely. She only provided me with the one heir and now the foolish boy imagines himself to be in love with that jumped-up merchant slut. What rubbish! How in the world did Virryn allow the wench to worm her way into our noble family's affairs?"_

"Duke Baird?" Lady Virryn looked away from Burchard's gray face. "Is my husband ... is he in any pain?"

"No, Lady Virryn, we don't believe so," the healer replied. "He's just sleeping now because of the powerful healings we had to work on him. But that's why we hope he'll regain consciousness soon, so that he can help us to understand what happened and how he feels."

"Do you think that ... that this could have been ... prevented?" she asked, "I mean, if Burchard hadn't been so upset would he ... could he have been just fine?"

Duke Baird looked at the anguished woman and decided to tell her what she needed to hear, regardless of its truth or lack thereof, "Lady Virryn, this is not your fault. These things just happen and I want you to understand that they're _nobody's _fault. Yes, extremely stressful situations can be factors; however, I have known of people who were happy and laughing at the time of their affliction and collapse. Do not blame yourself - or anyone else for that matter. My best healers and I will do everything we can to bring your husband around to better health again."

Virryn simply nodded and picked up Burchard's limp hand. She stroked it lovingly and then placed it back on top of his chest. Then she smoothed his blond hair back from his face and leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. Despite everything he'd done and said to her, she knew that down in the depths of her heart she still loved him and she quietly told him so.

Burchard's spirit-self watched all of this and scoffed at it. He knew that the duke was only trying to make his wife feel better about her feelings, and it only made him angrier. He wanted Virryn's guilt, not her pity. He drifted back out of the infirmary with her when she went to tell the others that she wanted them to go to breakfast without her. He wanted to slap the silliness out of her when he saw the way she fawned over the Mindelan wench. Then Burchard realized that he now possessed the perfect solution to stop this madness once and for all - and he smiled.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Kel was glad that her knight-master had cancelled their afternoon jousting session, but she still went down to the practice courts to work out her tension from the morning's events. She blushed as her mind kept returning to the way Lady Virryn had embraced her and what Raoul had said about all that. She was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she walked right past Neal, as he chatted with Merric and Faleron, who had just finished a vigorous sword match.

"We missed you this morning, Mindelan," Neal drawled behind Kel and made her jump in surprise. "Did you have ... a late night?"

Kel spun around at the sound of Neal's voice and noticed her other friends with him. It was good to see their happy, familiar faces. Then her expression turned to wariness because they all seemed to be looking at her strangely and their smiles seemed more like smirks. What was it that Neal had asked her? Kel remembered his words and blanched at the thought that they somehow knew she'd been out with Joren the previous evening. Kel decided to pretend she hadn't heard Neal's question and she greeted her fellow squires with what she hoped sounded like her normal voice.

"It looks like you two are almost done for the day," she said as she tilted her head toward the sweat-soaked Faleron and Merric. "I don't suppose _you_ might have a little bit of energy left over for me?" And she glanced sidelong at Neal.

Neal shrugged and picked up his practice sword. "Oh, alright. I'll let you beat up on me for a round or two. At least you're my friend and not my knight-mistress, so you won't keep quizzing me on the proper use of this herb or that elixir whilst we fight." He smiled crookedly at her and began to stretch.

"I don't know much about all that sort of thing anyway," Kel admitted, "So we'll just let the blades do the talking. It's been a very trying day and I've been itching to get down here the entire time."

Kel silently cursed herself when Neal raised an inquisitive eyebrow at her last statement. Although she hated keeping secrets from her closest friend, she just wasn't ready to talk about the way she and Joren had reconciled long ago or about the current events surrounding his troubled family. If she wasn't careful, the too-smart-for-his-own-good Neal would be able to piece together her current situation without very much effort.

After they both finished their warm-up stretches, Neal and Kel started to duel. Their wooden practice swords made pleasant clacking noises as they worked through several basic drills. Gradually, the rhythm sped up and both squires began to sweat. Kel truly was enjoying herself until Neal began to speak.

"I suppose you've already heard about Cleon's upcoming betrothal to Ermelian of Aminar," he said casually and lunged forward.

"Yes, he told me." Kel shrugged as she easily parried Neal's blade. "They're going to announce it at the final ball of the season."

Neal blocked Kel's next swing. "I'm real sorry about that, Kel."

"Sorry about what?" she asked, keeping her face calm.

"I _know_ Cleon asked if he could court you," Neal replied. "We all know about that. And ... so.... we're just hoping that you're ... well, that you're alright and that your feelings aren't too hurt, especially given the circumstances."

"Wh-what do you mean by saying 'We all know about that,' Neal?" Kel frowned as they increased the intensity of their blows.

"Well ... you know, your friends," Neal knew he'd pay for his comment and the next blow was very hard indeed. He'd definitely have a bruise on his leg.

"Great Mother Goddess! Now I remember that stupid 'pact' you all had back when we were pages," Kel growled, "Are you _boys_ still gabbing and gossiping behind my back? Mithros! You _are_ aren't you? Alright ... alright ... not that it's any of your _or our friends_' business, but my feelings aren't hurt. Cleon and I were - and still are - just friends." All the while she attacked him with more aggressive moves and harder blows.

Neal could only defend himself for so long until Kel backed him into a corner and he ended up yielding to her blade at his chest. Even though they both were winded, she demanded another round from him and he knew better than to refuse her now. He could tell that his friend was agitated because she'd made her face Yamani blank. Regardless, Neal guessed that if he prodded Kel just a bit more, she'd slip up and confirm for him what he thought he already knew. He also figured such confirmation would be well worth the extra bruises, so they took up their fighting stances and started to duel again.

"So, anyway," Neal carefully began, "Merric and Faleron and I were coming back up to the palace from an evening in town last night, and you'll never guess who we saw trudging through the snowstorm ahead of us."

Kel forced herself to stay Yamani calm and gave nothing away as she casually replied, "I have no idea."

Neal saw Kel's eyes flash green inside of her mask and he knew he was on the right path, so he continued to prod between his strikes and parries, "Well, there was no mistaking the tall fellow - he was Lord Raoul for sure. And although she was wearing a nice-looking gown and cloak, I'd recognize Commander Buri anywhere. The interesting part was their two companions. One of them had to be Joren of Stone Mountain; his hair is so blond it almost looked as white as the swirling snow."

"Hmm, that is interesting," Kel said flatly and she increased the intensity of her blows in an attempt to make Neal work so hard that he'd shut up.

"Yes, but the _real_ mystery is the tall, brown-haired lady who seemed to be with Joren," said Neal, knowing that he had Kel right where he wanted her. "I don't know of any young ladies of the court being so tall. And I saw her outfit as a gust of wind blew her cloak open. She was wearing a strikingly familiar red gown and cloak, with dangling earbobs and everything."

Kel inwardly cursed herself for being so stupid. How could she have forgotten? Neal had seen Lalasa's gift to her one evening when he'd tagged along with Princess Shinkokami and her ladies-in-waiting, Yukimi and Haname, to Kel's room during one of Raoul's informal parties. The Yamani ladies had been quite impressed with the lovely red gown, and Yuki had hit Neal after he'd commented that the realm's only lady squire should wear it to supper in the pages' and squires' dining hall sometime just to see the Stump's reaction.

"Red _is_ a striking color," she finally managed to say and struck Neal's arm with the flat of her blade. He didn't let go of his sword, even though the blow really hurt him. He also didn't shut up.

"When we all got back to the squire's wing," Neal spoke in short spurts now, trying to catch his breath, "I asked Joren who the unknown lady might be, but, alas, he remained quite mysterious about the whole thing."

Kel inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. If Joren wasn't spilling secrets about them yet, then she certainly wasn't going to say anything, either. She looked for a hole in Neal's defenses, and she thought she'd spied one when Neal spoke again.

"Well, I'm glad Stone Mountain had a nice evening out," Neal sounded too nice, "Because later last night I heard Joren's father pounding loudly on his door. Then there were the sounds of arguing and such. And now, I've heard that Lord Burchard collapsed outside the palace gate and he's currently in the infirmary under my father's special care. Poor Joren! I wonder if his lady friend has been a comfort to him on this very trying day."

Kel faltered. Now she _knew_ that her friend knew. Neal almost felt bad as he took advantage of Kel's hesitation and swung his blade around and up to point at her throat. Of course, she had to yield to him. On the sidelines, Merric and Faleron, as well as some other spectators, whooped and whistled. They all knew it had been a very long time since Neal had defeated Kel in a duel.

"Best two out of three," Neal asked hopefully, feeling more than a little cocky.

She bobbed her head curtly and they got back into their ready stances. Then Kel attacked Neal with a ferocity that frightened both of them. Her rational self chastised her foolish self for behaving badly just because Neal knew more about her private affairs than she thought he should. Still, it took her barely more than a minute to disarm her friend and he quickly conceded his defeat.

Neal and Kel bowed to each other and acknowledged their applauding audience, but they walked to the empty, far side of the practice yard to put away their weapons and to get some water. Neal waved off their friends, who then began to drift away or became engaged in other training duels of their own. The two squires knew that they needed to have a more in-depth conversation, but neither of them wanted anyone else to listen in.

When Kel finished drinking her water and turned to face Neal, he could see that her lips had tightened into a very thin line. He became very concerned that he actually might have pushed her too far. It was obvious to the green-eyed squire now that there was a lot more going on between Kel and Joren than he'd already guessed. And as much as he was dying to know all of the details, Neal decided to let his friend off the hook - almost.

"Kel, I'll stop prying for now, because I can see that I've upset you," Neal said quietly, so that only she could hear him, "But don't you dare to insult my intelligence by telling me I'm wrong - I know what I've seen over the past week and ... and I know what I heard coming from Joren's rooms last night."

Kel stared at Neal for a long moment while she thought of all the vile things Lord Burchard must have yelled at his son. Even if Neal had overheard only a fraction of what the crazed man had said, then he already knew far more than she'd ever wanted him to know. Horrified, Kel wondered how many other squires had heard the ruckus.

She shakily asked, "Neal, did ... did _everybody_ in the squires' wing hear what ... what happened last night?"

"I don't think so," he said, shaking his head, "At least - I didn't see anyone else open their doors. There are lots of empty rooms in the wing now because the new knights have moved out, but my rooms are closest to Joren's and I'm a light sleeper. Some squires, like Faleron, snore so loudly, they'd sleep through a stampede of bulls. Others, like Merric and Owen, have rooms that are much further down the hallway. Kel, please, now will you tell me what's really going on between you and Joren? I promise - I'll even swear on my mother's name - not to tell anyone else."

Kel thought about all of the secrets between her and her former page sponsor- both the secrets she had kept for a long time and the secrets she recently had promised to keep. There were so many things she couldn't tell Neal without breaking her promises to Joren and there were other things she didn't think she'd ever want him to know. But the tall, green-eyed squire had become her friend long before anyone else had decided she was alright, and she felt that she owed him at least a little bit of an explanation. Kel walked over to a bench and patted at an empty place for Neal to sit down next to her.

"It ... it's complicated," Kel carefully said and she winced at her overuse of that phrase, "Joren and I are ... um, we're friends now, ever since the end of the trial. There's a whole lot that I can't tell you - maybe I'll talk more about it later, but not now. Actually, it's probably best if I just tell you about the events that led up to last night and what's happened since then. But don't interrupt me or I'll stop talking. And I'm not promising to answer any of your questions afterward, understand?"

Neal nodded and said, "Fair enough. I'll be quiet. I _think_ I can wait until you're ready to tell me the rest."

Kel took a deep breath and started to explain, "I always believed that Joren hadn't acted alone when Lalasa was kidnapped, so I confronted him after the trial. He was quite surprised that I had guessed the truth, but he never would tell anyone who it was that actually planned the crime - not even Lord Wyldon. He only ever told the Lord Magistrate last week and then he got confined for his confession."

"So _that's_ what all Lord Wyldon's secrecy was about," Neal said and then he held up his hands in a gesture of apology for speaking when Kel glared at him.

"Then, when Vinson ... died," she continued, "Joren finally was able to leave the palace. He immediately went to see his mother, Lady Virryn, and he told her about the way I'd always believed in him. She decided that she wanted to meet me, so she invited me to supper at Marbleton House. When Lord Raoul saw the invitation, he decided that he wanted to test me to see if I could behave like a regular lady, so that's why I got all dressed up like that."

"You're joking!" Neal snickered.

"I'm not, she replied flatly, "Do you want to hear this or don't you?"

Neal nodded again and pantomimed locking his lips together with an imaginary key. He was surprised that his normally quiet friend was telling him so much and now he was beginning to understand what he'd seen and heard. There were a million questions churning through his head, but Neal decided to behave and listen to whatever information Kel was willing to share with him now. He knew he'd be able to coax the rest of the story out of her later.

"Anyway," she began to speak again, "Lord Raoul told me about some of the difficulties the Lioness experienced because no one taught her how to be a lady until she was the age I am now - and even then she had to hide her gowns and such because, well, you know the rest of _that_ story. So, Lord Raoul and Buri escorted me out to Marbleton House, where I dined with Joren and his mother, and then we all walked back to the palace afterward. That's when you must have seen us. Lord Burchard also saw us - he wasn't with us for supper, but he became angry when he spotted us leaving the house. The man hates me and he became so irate that he went after Joren. Then he came to my rooms and tried to attack me, but Lord Raoul threw him out. We found out about his collapse this morning when Joren sent me a message, asking me to come up to the infirmary and keep his mother company because he couldn't stay with her the whole time. Lord Raoul thought it was a good idea; he had seen the way that Lady Virryn really took to me - she actually gave me those dangly red earbobs last night. So I spent most of this morning with Joren's mother and I met his uncle, Sir Langdon, too. After Duke Baird told us that Lord Burchard finally was sleeping peacefully, we left to get some breakfast. I took care of the horses and finished my other chores and then I came here. As you can see, it's been a very long day for me, so far. Thankfully, Lord Raoul cancelled my afternoon flying lessons for today."

They sat in silence while Neal tried to digest everything that Kel had said. He really was trying to 'read between the lines' to figure out other things that she hadn't said. Two things immediately came to the front of his mind and he knew he'd have to frame one of his questions very carefully. Unfortunately, he blurted out his first question before he could stop himself.

"So, Joren is ... he's trying to _court_ you now?" Neal asked and then he winced at his bluntness.

Kel's mouth dropped open and she quickly closed it again. First her face turned pale and then it turned bright pink. Whatever it was that she had expected Neal to ask her, that was not it. She shook her head vigorously, both to clear it and to make her point.

"No!" she said emphatically, "I won't allow anyone to court me until after I become a knight. That's what I told Cleon and that's what I told Joren. That's even something you can tell to all of our nosy little friends. In fact, I insist that you tell them. I don't want anymore misunderstandings about this, Neal. All of you can - _and should_ - chase after the real ladies of the court. I'm going for my shield first and I'll deal with the rest later."

"Alright, Kel," Neal nodded, but he looked skeptical. "I'll tell them, but ... but I can't guarantee that the more aggressive ones will abide by your wishes. As soon as they heard about Cleon's betrothal, a couple of the young bucks started to make plans."

Kel rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't really want to hurt anyone's feelings, so you'd better tell whoever is the boldest of the lot to back off."

"And leave a clear path for Stone Mountain?" Neal's emerald-green eyes sparkled mischievously, "Oh, no, I think not. You'll just have to fight them off on your own, my young friend. After such a terribly disappointing failure with Cleon, I'm _not_ getting involved in your romantic life anymore."

"Gee, thanks," Kel said dryly. "I'm so glad I can count on you, _old friend_."

"The oldest," Neal quipped and then his expression sobered. He didn't want to bring up the next question, but he felt that it was for Kel's own good. She'd have to deal with this tough issue over and over again if she ever decided to allow Joren to be the one to court her, so she might as well start thinking about it sooner rather than later. Kel saw Neal's grim expression and she became serious, too.

"Just spit it out, Neal," she said, "It looks like I probably won't like what you're going to say next, so why don't you just say it plain and simple, alright?"

Neal looked down at the ground and sighed. Then he looked up again and spoke very slowly, "Kel, I want you to consider something I believe is very important about whatever it is that you're doing or not doing with Joren. How do you think Lalasa will feel when she finds out? She made that beautiful gown for you to wear and of all the people in Corus, you wore it for _him_ - the man she probably still blames for causing her - and you - so much pain. Have you given much thought about how others will handle any kind of friendship between you and Joren, especially after everything that's happened?"

All the color drained from Kel's face. "Mithros!" Kel stumbled over her next words, "I never thought ... I ... I'd _never_ hurt Lalasa intentionally. You know that, Neal. And Joren didn't mean to... but ... she didn't know ...and ... Oh, gods! I'm a terrible person! I didn't even consider her feelings about ... about--"

"Kel, stop it," Neal gently ordered, "I don't want you to feel bad about this, but I just think it's best for you to, well, think about it. You should talk to Lalasa. Explain it to her the way you just explained it to me. I'm sure she'll try her best to understand. And then there's Lord Raoul, but I'm guessing he already has an idea that something's going on. Now, as for your parents--"

"They know," Kel said before she could stop herself. She closed her eyes and waited for Neal's next stream of questions - knowing that it was her own fault for being such a blabbermouth this day.

"What do you mean?" Neal asked warily. "Gods, Kel! Who else knows about this? Am I actually the _last_ one to find out?"

Kel sighed and told Neal more of what she _could_ say without breaking any of her promises to keep Joren's secrets. "It's not like that, Neal. Only a few people know. Third Company spent a lot of time in the desert last year - I sent you several letters from there, remember? Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton are, well ... they're, um ... quite observant. And I needed advice from Mama about ... about Cleon's request to ... to court me, so we talked about all manner of things and, um, the topic of Joren came up. I know that my mother keeps most things that we say private, but not from Papa. If Mama knows something about any of her children - unless we swear her to secrecy, which I didn't - then Papa knows about it, too. Other people might have guessed - like you did - but I think that's everyone who _knows_. They're probably not happy about Joren's interest in me, but they do know about it."

"Are _you_ happy about Joren's interest in you?" Neal asked and raised one eyebrow at her.

Kel blinked. It was another question for which she was unprepared and she remained silent for too long. She knew what that meant and she knew that Neal also knew it. Blushing furiously, Kel decided that she was finished answering questions for the time being and said curtly, "Sorry, no more questions," Then she stood up and stretched. "I've got other things to do now and I'll bet you do, too."

Neal just shook his head and followed Kel out of the practice yard. He knew he wouldn't get more answers today, but now he knew the truth of the situation. He also knew he'd gotten Kel to think about things she'd never considered before their chat. She'd just have to face the future and deal with it as it came. Nealan of Queenscove couldn't wait to see how the remainder of the week would unfold.

* * *

_The next morning Zahir ibn Alhaz, another of Joren's friends, entered the Chamber. He too walked out alive, sane and confessionless._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Later that afternoon, Joren attended the knighting ceremony of his friend, Zahir, and was pleased to see that so many of the young man's Bazhir relatives had come up from the desert to support him. The colorful flowing robes and headdresses, as well as the fully-covered Bazhir ladies and their veils, looked quite exotic in the royal throne room and everyone was genuinely happy for the former squire to the king. Joren wondered who - if anyone - would be there for him in a few days when it finally was his turn to kneel before the king and pledge his loyalty to Tortall.

Zahir waved his blond friend over to introduce him to some members of his family. Joren bowed politely toward Zahir's father, who was the second-in-command of the city of Persopolis, and told the man how much his mother enjoyed staying at her newly-acquired villa in the ancient Bazhir city. Zahir asked Joren about his bruised face and he accepted the lie that it had happened during training. The two friends made tentative plans to get together when Joren took his mother back to Persopolis. Perhaps then they'd have the opportunity to catch up with each other and tell the truth.

Later, Joren shared a sly smile with his friend when Zahir pointed out to him a small, black-clad woman. Her gorgeous, kohl-rimmed, amber-colored eyes were her only features truly visible within her veils. Earlier, the newest knight of Bazhir descent had confided to his northern friend that he would meet his chosen bride for the first time that night after he received his shield. Joren could tell that Zahir was quite pleased with the match and he wished him good luck.

The longer Joren stayed in the throne room with all of Zahir's desert family and friends, the more he realized just how much he missed the hot sun, the cool nights, and yes, even the sand of the Bazhir lands. The idea of spending the rest of his life atop the beautiful, but cold and snowy mountains of his home fief depressed him. When Joren finally decided to leave the celebration, he gazed at all the happy people and sighed; he knew that his knighting ceremony wouldn't be half as festive as this.

As he headed back up to the infirmary, Joren felt a deep sadness seeping into his bones. He knew that his father's condition was not improving and that the healers who worked for Duke Baird didn't seem to be as optimistic as their boss. When he came up the stairs and into the hallway, he felt even sadder to see his mother sitting by herself on the bench. Joren knew it was unreasonable for him to have expected to see Kel there again, but he couldn't help the way he felt about that.

"Oh, I didn't expect you back so soon, dear," Lady Virryn smiled at her son as he approached her. "I thought you said that the celebration for your Bazhir friend would go on for quite some time."

Joren casually shrugged and replied, "It still is, but I didn't want to stay away from here too long. Visiting time will be over soon and I thought I'd escort you down to your rooms. Agnes and Spencer have returned from Marbleton House with your things and they're all ready for you now. There's even a light supper of bread and ham and fruit waiting for you there."

Lady Virryn had decided to move into the palace guest chambers in which Burchard had been staying before he went out to Lady Gwendolyn's town house. It was far more convenient for Joren's mother to be within the palace walls in case there was any change in her husband's condition. Joren had instructed their servants to set up the room for his mother as quickly as possible so that she could get some much-needed rest.

"Thank you, Joren," Virryn said wearily. "I'm looking forward to a hot bath and some of Agnes' special tea."

"Good," Joren nodded and looked around, "Where's Uncle Langdon?"

"He's inside with your father now," She slid over on the bench to make room for him to sit beside her, "Come and sit with me for a while. I want to talk to you about something while we're alone."

Joren sat close to his mother. She smelled of rose water and lilies and a memory from his childhood suddenly flooded into his mind. When he was no older than three or four years of age, they would sit on one of the stone benches in their garden and she'd read to him every afternoon. He'd loved all the fantastic stories and legends and tales she told. Part of him wished he could go back to that much simpler time. When Joren turned five, his father said he was too old for such nonsense and he put a toy sword in his son's hands to begin his weapons training.

"Joren, your uncle and I have had the chance to talk about many things today," Virryn said, "Langdon is willing to take care of everything at Stone Mountain so that you may travel for a year or two after you are knighted. I know that's what you truly want to do, and I want that for you, too. The mountains aren't going anywhere, and really, the steward takes care of most of the daily business anyway. In fact, I'm convinced that the best thing for _me_ to do is to take your father back to Persopolis with me when he's well enough to be moved from here."

Joren felt like a happy child again - it was as though his mother had just given him one of his most-desired Midwinter gifts, such as a puppy or a new toy. His grin lit up his entire face and Virryn knew that she'd pleased him. He hugged her around her shoulders and kissed her smooth cheek three times in a row, the way he used to do when he was a young boy.

"And another thing," she continued, "I want you to know that no matter what's happened with your father, I like Squire Keladry. I like her very much. You would do well to stay in her good graces, my son. I explained her odd presence here today to your uncle and he's not as prejudiced against the lady squire as your father has been. You know as well as I do, though, that most of our friends and associates probably won't understand; however, I no longer care what they think."

Burchard's spirit-self twitched with uncontrollable rage. He had decided to float out of the infirmary and listen to Virryn and Joren's conversation. His brother was boring him to distraction with his talk about the new equipment he'd recently purchased for the regular soldiers stationed at the army garrison located at Stone Mountain.

Now Burchard wished he had control over his physical self because he wanted to throttle his traitorous wife for allowing their son to have his own way with his future plans. The boy needed the iron-fisted decisions of his father to straighten him out, not the soft-hearted foolishness of his mother to coddle him. Burchard decided that it was time for him to take action.

The last statements of the dying are considered to be among the most powerful of all words. Burchard knew that he only needed to hold his brother's hand and utter the words to seal his wayward son's fate. He also knew that Langdon would be able to look past their many years of quarreling and see that his older brother was right. It was time for Joren to grow up and face the future that was best for Stone Mountain.

Burchard struggled hard to reunite his two selves. He knew that this final effort would finish him, but he was ready to be free of his weakening body anyway. A nurse saw Burchard's eyes flutter open and she immediately ran to call in Virryn and Joren, while another nurse fetched Duke Baird. It took every shred of energy Burchard possessed to get his slack tongue to work at all. And, although he slurred the few words he could force out of his mouth, he was certain that Virryn and Joren and - most importantly - Langdon had heard them well enough.

The dying lord feebly clutched his brother's hand and rasped out, "Joren ... must go ... home. Be new ... lord. Need ... heirs. Must marry ... soon. Only ... a virgin. His last ... duty ... to me." His final words flowed over and through his family, compelling them to honor his wishes and allowing Virryn and Joren to know that Langdon now would do everything in his power to force his nephew into total compliance. Then Burchard of Stone Mountain slumped back into the pillows as his spirit left his body behind forever.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next morning, Joren sat on a wooden bench in the palace's Chapel of Mithros. His mother was exhausted from her grief, as well as the events of the past day and a half, so the healers had given her a sleeping draught and sent her to her rooms to rest. Joren's uncle had given him the task to stay with his father's body while he made the many arrangements. Once the Mithran priests conducted their solemn service for the dead, the temple mages would cremate Burchard's body and place his ashes into an urn. Then Joren would have the responsibility to transport the urn back to Stone Mountain and place it within their family crypt.

Among the noble-born, the traditional mourning period for the death of a parent was a full month, during which time the grieving children were excused from all except the most essential activities. When Lord Wyldon heard about Lord Burchard's death, he offered Joren the choice to postpone his Ordeal of Knighthood until the following year, assuring the squire that no one would think less of him if he waited. Joren thanked the training-master for his consideration, but he knew that he couldn't stand to wait that long. He would proceed to his vigil in three days hence as scheduled.

While he was sitting in the chapel, Joren was supposed to be offering up prayers to both Mithros and the Dark God, but he was just staring at his father's corpse. Burchard's stiff body was wrapped in the traditional white shroud and the priests of the Dark God had laid him out on the black marble altar at the front of the chapel. Joren's mind drifted and he wondered if the stone on which his father lay had come from the rich quarries of Stone Mountain. He was so wrapped up in his muddled thoughts that he did not notice Lord Raoul and Kel enter the chapel until they joined him on the bench; Kel sat by his left side and Raoul by his right.

Raoul spoke first, "We are here to offer our condolences for your loss, Joren, and we truly hope that there are no hard feelings between us for the actions that occurred the night of your father's collapse."

Joren looked at Raoul and then at Kel. "No. I don't blame either of you - for anything." _I do, of course, blame myself_, he thought. He sighed and then his gaze returned to the altar. "My father was on a rampage that night. I think we all felt the sting of his wrath. He might have paid a high price for his rage, but he certainly won the final round. Yes, he did." Then he leaned forward and dropped his head into hands. Kel and Raoul looked at each other over his back and shrugged.

"Joren, what do you mean by that?" Kel asked quietly.

He sat up again and laughed bitterly. "My father _won_, Kel. With his dying breath he placed a compulsion on his brother to carry out his wishes concerning me and my future. Now, even though I am to be the new lord, Uncle Langdon has taken up the cause of 'chaining' me to Stone Mountain until I fulfill my duties to my father and produce an heir or two." Then Joren told them about Burchard's last moments and the exact words he'd said.

"That's some powerful magic," Raoul agreed. "I've heard of that sort of thing happening before. Your father really did want to control your future."

"The funny thing is, my father didn't have to do that at all," Joren said, his voice breaking with anguish. "Because of his untimely death, I must become the Lord of Stone Mountain now, before I'm ready. I will be overlord to ten lesser fiefdoms and I'll have to fill a seat on the king's council. I must take my father's place as an advisor to both the Stonecutter's Guild and the Council for Foreign Trade. I'll have to hire a new steward for my family's Corus holdings, since Ebroin of Genlith has resigned his post. And then there is Stone Mountain itself - its lands and quarries, its people and towns, everything. My father didn't need to put the compulsion on his brother to carry out his will because the responsibilities of my title alone are enough to tie me down for a very long time. I'll never get the chance to just be a knight. So you see, the victory is his - completely."

"I ... I'm so sorry, Joren," Kel placed her hand on top of Joren's hand which was on the bench between them. "Lord Wyldon told us that you're going to go through with your Ordeal anyway. Are you ... sure?"

Joren's voice was steely as he replied, "I am as ready as I'll ever be. I know that I must to go through the formalities of mourning my father and I _will _fulfill all of my official duties. But I truly believe that I've earned my shield and I want to be done with my training now. Besides, what can the Chamber do to me that my father hasn't already done?" He touched the bruise on the side of his face and grimaced.

"Don't be arrogant now and don't tempt the gods," warned Raoul. "There's still plenty the Chamber can do to you - and it will. No one ever comes out of there unscathed." His facial expression had turned grim.

"I apologize, my lord," Joren said contritely, "I'm just so ... so tired. I want ... I want it all to be over."

"You'll need to rest up before your Ordeal," Raoul replied and clapped him on his shoulder. "Come on, Kel, let's go find Sir Langdon and see if he'll listen to my advice." The big man stood up and bowed his head toward Burchard's shrouded corpse in a show of respect for the dead.

"Sir, may I ... have a moment?" Kel didn't have to say that she'd like to be alone with Joren; her eyes spoke volumes to Raoul, who nodded and walked out of the chapel without her. She knew he'd only be right outside the door.

Joren turned his head to look at Kel, but before he could say anything, she leaned forward and gently kissed his barely-healed lips. His red-rimmed eyes searched her watery ones, but there was no passion behind them. It was a kiss of comfort and Joren smiled slightly at the purity of the moment. Then Kel sat back against the bench and stared forward at the altar.

"I meant no disrespect to your father or to the Dark God," she said quietly. "It's just that ... you looked like you've needed that since yesterday, when I came up to the infirmary to sit with your mother. I'm your ... friend, Joren. And I want you to know that I'll be here for you as much as I can, or at least until you have to go ... home."

Joren also stared forward, but he grasped Kel's hand and brought it to his lips. Then he slowly kissed the scarred back side of her hand, as well as the pulse point on the inside of her wrist, and she felt as though there were sparks flying between them again. Afterward, he gently placed her hand on her lap and patted it before he clasped his hands together between his knees. They sat in silence next to each other for a long moment before he spoke again.

"Kel, I ... I want to thank you for sitting with my mother the other day. I can't tell you how much that meant to ... to both of us." Then Joren sighed. "I was wondering if ... well, I could really use your help again. My mother is in need of a seamstress. She has a black gown that needs altering so that it will be suitable for the memorial service and she requires mourning veils and shawls as well. The problem is that she just discovered that the woman to whom she always gave her business here in Corus has recently retired to Blue Harbor. Do you think that your seamstress friend would be willing to help?"

_Would_ Lalasa help the newly-widowed Lady of Stone Mountain? Kel's heartbeat quickened as she remembered what Neal had said. She decided that this just might be the opportunity she needed to let her former maid know that Joren wasn't exactly the terrible person everyone believed him to be - at least not to her anymore. Kel knew Lalasa was a compassionate and understanding woman, but she also was a good businesswoman. A customer like Lady Virryn could bring in many other wealthy, conservative customers.

Kel finally looked at Joren and answered, "I will ask her. In fact, I know Lalasa will be in the palace today to finish a few fittings for some ladies in preparation for this evening's Presentation Ball. It's one of the few balls this year and I've heard that there are several very nice young ladies who will be presented tonight."

"Humph!" Joren scoffed. "Thank the gods I'm officially in mourning, as well as preparing for my Ordeal, and _cannot_ attend the event. Otherwise, I'm sure that my uncle would honor my father's wishes by putting a leash on me and parading me around the room until he found a suitable mate - one that he could drag back to Stone Mountain with us next week." He scowled at that thought.

Kel shook her head, "Lord Raoul _wishes_ he didn't have to attend the event, but the queen always insists on his presence at this particular ball every year; therefore, that's where I'm serving tonight. I'll find Lalasa and send word to your mother, alright?" She stood up to go and Joren grasped her hand again.

"Thank you, Kel," his voice was barely above a whisper, "I appreciate your help with this."

Kel looked down at Joren and smiled a genuinely happy smile that made his pulse race. He still held onto her hand as he stood up level with her. They gazed into each other's eyes, but Kel shook her head slightly and glanced over toward the altar again. He shrugged and sighed. They both knew that this definitely was neither the time nor the place for anything of a passionate nature. As Joren watched Kel walk out of the chapel, new thoughts began to churn in his mind. Then he decided to sit down and pray earnestly; he spent a long time begging the gods for their guidance and help.

* * *

_Prince Roald's year was larger than the previous one: eleven squires awaited the Ordeal. The court remained at the palace as every squire entered the Chamber. There were no more upsets, and the departure of the progress was announced the day of the last Ordeal._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

The morning of Joren's Ordeal dawned gray and snowy. The last senior squire of the group stared out at the falling snow through his bedroom window and sighed. He'd slept at Marbleton House the evening before because Spencer had cleared out his rooms in the squires' wing. Lady Virryn also was at the town house; she'd only stayed at the palace until the day after her husband's death and the very private memorial service they'd held that evening. Langdon then moved into the guest quarters at the palace so that he could represent Stone Mountain at official functions and such.

Joren would have liked to have seen Kel privately again, but there hadn't been any time for that. At least she'd been able to speak with the seamstress, Lalasa, who kindly agreed to make all of the appropriate mourning clothes and accessories for Lady Virryn. Kel had other duties, mostly preparing for the resumption of the Progress, which kept her quite busy. Joren did send her a message asking her if she would be able to be in the chapel when he emerged from the Chamber, and she'd sent back a very positive and encouraging reply that she wouldn't think of being anyplace else.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

After Sir Paxton and Lord Raoul administered the Ritual of Knighthood to him, Joren dried off from the traditional cool-water bath and dressed in the simple cotton shirt and breeches as required. Then, like all those who had come before him, Joren sat in the Chapel of the Chamber of the Ordeal and waited. During his vigil, he contemplated the laws of chivalry and what they meant to him now. He thought about his father's death and all of the events that led up to it. He thought about his mother's grief and his uncle's compulsion to follow the wishes of the dying lord. And he thought about Kel.

When the door of the Chamber swung open, Joren almost breathed a sigh of relief. Part of him wasn't entirely certain that the Chamber would even accept him as a candidate for knighthood, especially after everything that had happened. Joren carefully entered the dark, chilly Chamber and stood in the center of its flagstone floor. After the door closed, a dim light started to gain more brilliance and he discovered a small arsenal of weapons at his feet. Joren picked up a javelin and felt its solid, very real weight.

The monster came at him from a dark corner of the room. It was a spidren, ten feet tall and seemingly ten feet wide. It hissed and spat at Joren and he recoiled in fear and disgust when he saw that its human head possessed Vinson's sneering face. It didn't take Joren very long to defeat it, but the Chamber was just getting started with him.

Monster after monster came after the squire and he began to notice that the Chamber had a peculiar sense of humor - if you could call it that. The first Stormwing had Lord Burchard's disapproving face and it screeched the same sorts of things that Joren's father would have said to him. Next, the centaur was part Vinson again and so were two other Stormwings. When the bellowing tauros possessed his father's rage-filled blue eyes, Joren almost laughed. Almost. The beast was attacking a girl who looked a lot like Kel and Joren nearly lost his head when the tauros swung a big mace at him.

Joren was able to defeat all of the monsters, but not always easily. He noticed that he had very real cuts and bruises after each attack. He also noticed that his pile of weapons had grown smaller and smaller with every attack, even though he hadn't used them all. Suddenly, every other sword, spear and staff disappeared before his eyes. The Chamber took on a different appearance, too. Now it was more like a long, mist-filled tunnel. The skin on Joren's arms prickled and the hair on the back of his neck stood up.

A figure walked toward Joren from out of the mist. The being looked exactly like Lord Burchard, but Joren wasn't fooled. Whoever - or whatever - this was, it only had taken on his father's form to rattle him. It was quite effective.

"My son," the man said, sounding exactly like Joren's father, too, "You have done well. I always knew you would make a good, fighting knight. But now it's time to see what you're really made of." And then the figure vanished.

Joren put his fist into his mouth so that he wouldn't scream aloud. The monsters with Vinson's and his father's faces and features hadn't fazed the exhausted squire, but this 'ghost' of his father made his skin crawl. The mists in the Chamber lifted to reveal a circular room now, made up of mirrored doors all surrounding him. Everywhere Joren looked, he saw not his own reflection, but only his father's image. Then he realized that his 'father' was only present within the glass of the mirrors and all of the images spoke with the same tone of voice. It was very unnerving.

"You may exit this Chamber only if you find the correct door," said the smirking images one after another. "All except for one of these mirrored doors leads to your demise." "You will have until the crystals run through one side of the hourglass and into the other." "Choose wisely and you will live." "Choose poorly and you will join me in the Peaceful Realms." "It will help if you consider my dying words." "And if you do succeed, you'll need to remember that _she_ will have her work to do." "And you will have your work to do, too." "Only when both your missions are completed will you be able to move forward with _your_ plans." "Remember your duty to _me_."

The effect of all the images of Lord Burchard glaring at and speaking to Joren was dizzying. When they paused, he steadied himself and discovered that a large hourglass had appeared at his feet. It was filled with tiny russet-red crystals, just like the jewelry Joren and his mother had given to Kel. He stared in amazement as the hourglass floated into the air until it was level with his face. Then it slowly turned upside down and the images all spoke in unison.

"Begin your quest - now!" They all shouted the last word which made Joren shut his eyes and put his hands over his ears.

When Joren opened his eyes again, he was dismayed to see how quickly the little crystals were draining into the empty half of the hourglass. He wanted to scream at the smug-faced images of his father that he needed more specific directions, but he knew he couldn't utter a sound. Instead, he frantically felt around edges of the mirrored doors, trying to find any indication of an opening. The glass sliced his fingertips and they began to bleed, so he became more careful as he circled the room. Handles suddenly appeared on each of the mirrored doors.

The images were not silent while Joren tried to find the right way out of the Chamber. Every one of them lectured him sternly about his duties to Stone Mountain: he must return home, he must marry a virgin and produce heirs, he must represent his family with honor, he must lead their soldiers bravely, and he must uphold the laws of the realm, and so on. The noise level in the Chamber made it nearly impossible for Joren to concentrate.

Then he walked around the room again and his heartbeat sped up when he realized that there were different things in the background of every mirror. When he attempted to look beyond each of the images of his father to see if what was behind them in the glass, they all tried to block his view. Nevertheless, Joren could see that each background scene was related to whatever that particular image of his father was yelling at him to do.

In the mirror where the image kept insisting on Joren returning to Stone Mountain immediately, he clearly saw his home fief and its beautiful surroundings. He suddenly longed to be there more than anywhere else in the world. In the mirror where the image reminded him to lead their soldiers bravely, he saw the troops from the army garrison marching out of the gates as though they were heading off to war and he saw himself as an armored knight, riding in front of them. He almost could feel the reins in his hands and now he wanted to do _that_ more than anything else.

When Joren stood in front of the mirror whose image told him to marry a virgin and produce heirs, he was sorely tempted to open that door right away. There stood Kel, in her red dress, smiling and waving at him to come through the door. Her image in the mirror looked lovelier and more alluring than he'd ever seen her. Joren wanted nothing more at that moment than to satisfy his desperate need to join with Kel, but something in the back of his mind kept him from turning the door handle. He remembered that he had work to do and so did she. No, this was not the time to go through that door, so he slowly backed away from it and forced himself to keep searching.

The noise in the room was nearly deafening and Joren started to panic when he realized that over three-quarters of the crystals had drained down to the bottom of the hourglass. How was he ever going to figure out which was the right door in time? His throat was raw from all the stifled screams of anguish and he could feel hot, angry tears of frustration threatening to spill out of his eyes. He knew he had to act fast or everything he'd worked so long and hard for would be lost.

Joren quickly walked around to all the mirrors again and decided to stop in front of the image who admonished him to uphold the law. He could see a hazy image of himself stopping another nobleman from whipping a beggar just for being on the streets. He also saw himself preventing an unknown woman from being molested in a dark passageway. Lingering guilt over his failure to stop Vinson's crimes pricked his conscience, but he pushed those thoughts aside as he now desired to do the things that he'd always considered to be someone else's responsibility. As a knight of the realm, _he_ would have to be responsible for upholding the king's law. Somehow, this felt like the right door.

Joren glanced over his shoulder and saw that only a few crystals remained in the top half of the hourglass. He was out of time. Whatever he decided to do in the next second would seal his fate forever. He'd either exit the Chamber to begin his life as a knight, or he'd lose his life and join his father in the Peaceful Realms. As the last crystal fell, Joren's trembling hand turned the handle and he pushed against the mirrored door to face his future.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, yes, I know it's evil to leave you hanging on the edge of your seat like this, but this chapter is way too long as it is. Soap operas have cliffies all the time because they're effective. Anyway, I hope you liked the way I handled Joren versus the Chamber. (Nods to the brilliant J.K. Rowling and the Mirror of Erised!) Honestly, this is the part of the 'Decisions' series of chapters that I wrote first, and then I had to write all the other parts of 'Decisions' to get the scenes I'd already written so that it all would make sense and fit together nicely. That's the way it's been with this entire story - I wrote the rough draft of the ending of the story, as well as an epilogue, back in November '08 and now, almost fifty chapters later, I'm still not there yet. ;D Oh well, I guess that means there'll be more for you to read. Please let me know what you thought of this (**_**other**_** than the fact that I'm a cruel person for writing a cliffhanger, please). Thanks!! :D**


	50. After the Chamber

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Wow! This is the fiftieth (50th) chapter!! :D I never planned for my story to be such a long one and I'm amazed that I've written this much. I'm very happy that so many of you liked the way I handled Joren's Ordeal. ^_^ There are plenty of chapters left for me to write - some, like this one, will even have more fluff in them. ;D Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Joren glanced over his shoulder and saw that only a few crystals remained in the top half of the hourglass. He was out of time. Whatever he decided to do in the next second would seal his fate forever. He'd either exit the Chamber and begin his life as a knight, or he'd lose his life and join his father in the Peaceful Realms. As the last crystal fell, Joren's trembling hand turned the handle and he pushed against the mirrored door to face his future. _

* * *

**After the Chamber**

When he had finished his part of Joren's vigil, Raoul returned to his rooms and called for Kel to come in and give him an update on their preparations for departure. The king had announced that he was willing to allow Third Company to head out on patrol ahead of the main body of the Progress, so they had to be ready to leave within two days. Unfortunately for Raoul, the king would not allow him to depart prior to the final banquet and ball of the season.

"Kel, this all looks very good," Raoul said as he looked up from the stack of reports and ledger notes. Then he leaned back in his chair, poured two cups of juice and indicated to her that she should sit down. "We haven't really had a chance to talk about what happens after the Chamber - assuming Joren passes his Ordeal. I'm not trying to take the place of your father, Kel, but I've been wondering if Joren has requested to court you yet. Did anything like that happen after I left you two alone in the Mithran chapel?"

Kel looked down at her hands in her lap. When Raoul had given them that tiny bit of privacy, there was a brief moment when she knew that Joren had wanted to say something or perhaps even kiss her, but the presence of his father's shrouded corpse prevented that sort of thing. She and Joren had such a strange relationship anyway; she'd hardly ever imagined that he would ask to court her in the same manner Cleon had asked her. Obviously, her knight-master had considered that a serious possibility.

"No, sir," Kel replied, trying not to feel glum, "But ... but since he has to go back to his home fief and ... and fulfill his duties as the new lord there, I don't think ... well, I wouldn't expect him to ... to wait for me to earn my shield. I mean, Joren ... he has to marry someone very soon, doesn't he?"

"Kel, look at me," Raoul gently ordered her, "Joren can't even get to Stone Mountain until the northern snows let up and begin to melt. I doubt he'll be able to think about marriage until after he and his uncle settle all of his father's estate. And he's supposed to be in mourning through February, anyway."

"Mithros! I completely forgot about the mourning period," said Kel. "I guess I really haven't given much thought to all of the other things Joren has to do now."

Raoul looked surprised and said, "I hope I wasn't assuming too much, but you _have_ given some thought to what might happen between you two after Joren becomes a knight, haven't you?" His dark eyes seemed to peer right into her mind.

Kel nodded slowly. Of course she had, but she'd also tried to tell herself that she really didn't harbor any optimistic ideas about having a future with Joren, even though she knew that wasn't exactly true. Now that he must become the lord of his fiefdom, she figured she'd have to let go of any such thoughts. They both had important duties to perform - duties that would keep them very busy, as well as very far apart from each other, for a long time. Besides, she thought, why should _Lord_ Joren even think of her at all, especially when there were so many readily-available and suitable matches for the soon-to-be knight?

It was as though Raoul had read her thoughts when he said, "I _know_ that the young man who's going through his vigil tonight has more than a few stray thoughts about you whirling through his head right now. Never mind the fact that he's supposed to be meditating on the laws of chivalry and such. I'm sure that, thanks to those letters you wrote to each other, Joren can't even think about chivalry without thinking about you."

Kel wanted to protest, but she knew better. She knew that if their roles had been reversed, _she'd _definitely be thinking of Joren every time she thought about chivalry. She just hoped that Joren didn't become too distracted to endure whatever it was that the Chamber would put him through once he entered it. Lord Raoul probably was right, and yet there was nothing that she could do about their situation, she told herself.

"But, sir," Kel said quietly, "Joren can have almost any lady of the court; he really shouldn't waste any more time thinking about me. It's ... it's like with Cleon - Joren should just do what's best for his family."

"What's best for his family? Mithros, Kel!" Raoul sounded disgusted, "This is _not_ the same situation as with Cleon! From what you've told me, the new Baron of Kennan always understood that his future would be tied to the Aminar heiress - regardless of his feelings toward you. Joren has the wealth and freedom to choose anyone he likes and we both know that he likes _you_. I was under the very strong impression that your feelings were mutual."

"Yes ... I ... I _do_ like Joren, but ... but I'm also trying to be realistic." Then she became agitated as she remembered Cleon's claims of constantly thinking about her and Neal's warnings about the obsessions of her other friends who'd been members of that silly pact. "Honestly! Why is it that males constantly obsess over things they cannot have?" She asked angrily.

"And you females don't?" He returned her question with an arched eyebrow aimed in her direction. "I seem to recall a certain young _female_ squire obsessing over everyone being treated fairly. Kel, you know you can't force everyone to think the same way as you do."

Kel sighed and her shoulders slumped, "I understand that, sir, I really do. But what Joren wants ... well, it's absolutely unrealistic - especially now."

"Squire Keladry, I'm surprised at you!" Raoul said playfully, "Are you going to give up without so much as a fight? Listen, we both know that if Joren had been able to make things work out the way he originally wanted from the start, you wouldn't be here in training to become a knight anymore. His circumstances are different now, but don't fool yourself into believing that he doesn't think about the way things might have been different. Everyone has unrealistic dreams - even if they don't have the additional obstacles of deathbed compulsions."

Kel did protest this time, "But won't those compulsions that Joren's father placed on Sir Langdon drive him insane if Joren doesn't cooperate soon? Doesn't Joren _have_ to marry and ... and produce heirs in order to save his family's line?"

"Not exactly," Raoul said as he leaned forward and smiled slyly. "As a matter of fact, Sir Langdon and I had a nice long chat with Duke Baird the other day. We learned that there are lots of ways to work around that vindictive curse that Lord Burchard put upon his brother. And even if Joren's uncle starts to feel like he's losing his mind, the healers can brew a special tea for him to help him feel better."

"That is good news, sir," Kel sounded relieved.

"Besides," Raoul continued, "Joren will have an incredible number of official duties to perform after he is knighted and becomes Lord of Stone Mountain. Neither his uncle nor his mother believe that he'll be ready for marriage until he's fully in command of his fief and I agree with their assessment. Most young knights aren't ready for marriage right after the Chamber, anyway. They need a few years to, as we say, become properly seasoned."

"Are _you_ properly seasoned yet, my lord?" Kel asked impishly.

"We're not talking about me right now," Raoul deflected, but his cheeks were quite rosy now. "Seriously, Kel, when Joren comes out of the Chamber, it wouldn't surprise me if he decided to kiss you right there in front of everyone - I've seen it happen a hundred times. When some men survive their Ordeals and the Chamber releases them, they bypass everyone else and head straight for their ladyloves - that is, if they have enough energy to do so."

"Oh," was all that Kel could think of to say, but her thoughts were whirling so fast that she barely nodded when Raoul offered her another cup of juice. She remembered her mother's initial reaction to learning she'd had 'sparks' with Joren. Then she thought about Neal's responses to hearing about her evening with Joren and his mother. Kel mentally thanked the gods that Lalasa hadn't ended their friendship when she explained the whole situation to the skeptical seamstress. The shy woman even treated Joren's mother with gentle kindness and she agreed to sew all of the widow's mourning clothes.

Then Kel sat bolt-upright and stared wide-eyed at her knight-master when she suddenly realized that if Joren kissed her immediately after he came out of the Chamber, _everyone_ would find out about their relationship. She didn't think she was ready for that to happen yet and she began to feel a little queasy. She didn't realize that her face had lost its Yamani mask while her mind raced along. Watching Kel's thoughts play out on her face - the face that so often was deceptively blank and calm - surprised Raoul so much that he laughed aloud, which caused his mouthful of juice to spray out over everything.

"Oh! Are you alright, sir?" Kel asked as she jumped up to get a cloth to dry off the mess.

Raoul plucked the cloth from her hands and waved her away, still laughing and sputtering as he tried to speak without coughing. "Kel ... if only ... you could've ... seen your face." He shook his head and dried up the spilled juice by himself.

"I'm sorry, my lord," Kel looked down again, "Perhaps that's why the Yamanis prefer to keep their thoughts and feelings hidden - it's much neater that way. The only things they seem to despise more than overt displays of emotion are disorderliness and filth."

That comment made Raoul laugh some more, but when he finally calmed down, he became somewhat serious again. He sensed that Kel now understood what he was trying to say earlier when he told her about the way new knights often emerged from the Chamber of the Ordeal and kissed their sweethearts. Raoul was fairly certain that Kel wasn't ready to take that step, but he asked her about it anyway.

"Oh, no sir!" Kel raised her head and looked terrified. "Since Joren hasn't asked ... I mean, we really aren't courting or ... or anything ... so I wouldn't want ... people to get ... the wrong idea."

"I see," Raoul said, trying not to smile. "Anyway, as you know, all of the new knights will be introduced at tomorrow night's banquet. I believe at least two of them - Kennan and ibn Alhaz - are planning to announce their betrothals then. There will be a lot of match-making mothers and their eligible daughters present, especially since this is the final event of the holiday season. People probably will be dancing until dawn. Of course, due to his mourning status, Joren won't have to stay for the ball - lucky man. Do you think anyone else there might ask you to dance?"

Kel shook her head. "I'll be dressed properly as your squire, my lord - not as one of the ladies of the court. I believe I passed _that_ test when I dined at Marbleton House, didn't I?"

"You haven't yet proven to me that you can dance, squire," Raoul said with mock seriousness. "But it would be unreasonable of me to test those skills while you're supposed to be serving the guests and all, so we'll look for a better opportunity in the future."

"Thank you, sir," Kel replied dryly, "Especially since Master Oakbridge has already posted our serving duties. Merric and Faleron and I will be handing out the drinks. I think Neal and Owen will have trays of those tiny pasties you like so much."

"Good, I'll look for them," Raoul said. "As soon as I've consumed a tray-full, it'll be time to go. When I give you the sign, we'll put on a repeat performance of our little drink-spilling play. I cannot bear another evening of dancing, especially not right before we're supposed to go out on a scouting mission. Jon may force me into attending these blasted events, but he can't force me to stay all night."

Kel pursed her lips and said, "I don't know if that's such a good idea, sir. I think the queen is suspicious about our little 'performance' and I'm certain that Commander Buri is on to us. It'll be risky."

"Life is full of risks, my young squire," Raoul clapped her on the shoulder. "You've just got to figure out which ones are worth taking. Speaking of which, if you're not feeling up to the potential risks of tomorrow morning, then I think it'll be best if you just stay next to or behind me. Make sure you have some bandages or a basin of water or something in your hands so that you look officially busy when we go down to the Chapel of the Ordeal."

Kel nodded her understanding and Raoul dismissed her for the night. She returned to her rooms and quickly prepared for bed. Glancing at her reflection in the mirror, she shook her head in disgust. She didn't feel very pretty or special or ladylike. _Joren really should forget about me and find a real lady_, she thought. But while she slept, Kel's dreams were filled with visions of all their stolen kisses and when she woke up she no longer thought it would be such a terrible thing if Joren attempted to steal another kiss from her after the Chamber released him.

* * *

The moment Joren's hand turned the handle of the correct mirrored door, an argument broke out in the Divine Realms. Several gods had gathered to watch the young man as he struggled through his Ordeal in the Chamber. He had, after all, called upon them for their assistance after the death of his father, as well as during his vigil. Now that the heir of Stone Mountain had passed his tests of knighthood, both Mithros and the Great Goddess wanted his undivided devotion and so they fought over who should have Joren as a vassal.

"His fathers have served me from the time I granted them dominance in the rugged mountains; therefore, his sword arm already belongs to me," insisted Mithros. "You know the boy has the potential to become a great warrior, so I don't see why you've suddenly taken issue with him becoming my vassal. Besides, he chose to uphold the law - and that path also belongs to me."

"Ah, but for many generations, his mother's people have been faithful to _me_," argued the Great Goddess. "I am the Mother of the Mountains - his home - so he should take care to honor me, anyway. Only I can revive his family line since both children and childbirth belong to me, too. You have plenty of warriors, Mithros - almost all of the males worship you above the rest of us gods - I want _this_ one's devotion! He'll be a handsome addition to my flock."

The Trickster God shook his head at the two greatest gods and chimed in, "You both make me laugh. We all know that the candidates for knighthood become very religious right before they enter the Chamber. Without fail, every single one of them calls upon us in their time of need and we come forth to do what we can for them. So, the boy has potential? Why don't you two just compromise? Honestly, the sons of Stone Mountain have shown no true devotion toward either of you for several generations. Just look at the boy's sire." And he waved his hand toward a black-clad figure standing a few paces away.

The gods turned their attention toward the Dark God's cloak. They could see the shadow of the ghost of Burchard of Stone Mountain, now smugly confident that Joren would return to his home fief and do as he was told. The Goddess scowled in disgust at the memories of Burchard's arrogant and contemptuous behavior toward females when he was alive. Then she looked at Mithros with determination flashing in her eyes.

"I will strike a bargain with you, Mithros," her voice was hard, "Allow me to have this boy, and I will relinquish my claim on the heart of next lady knight. I already have my fire-haired vassal and she is more devoted to me than many of my own priestesses. There will be others after her. You may have the one who is in training now - as long as she fulfills the tasks we already know she'll have to face first."

Mithros thought about the Goddess' offer for a moment and then nodded, "Alright, we shall trade - you may have Joren of Stone Mountain and I shall have Keladry of Mindelan. We all know that she will become a great warrior, too. And she also possesses a keen sense of what is right and what is wrong with the laws of the land. She should belong to me, anyway. Good - it is done!" And he extended his forearm to the Goddess to seal their deal.

No one noticed the mischievous twinkle in the Trickster God's eyes. He, too, had his own plans for Joren of Stone Mountain. Although many years would pass before his 'tricks' bore fruit, he knew that the seeds he'd just planted would take root and thrive. His divine siblings would recognize his handiwork - eventually. For now, his job was done. Besides, the Trickster had plenty of important things to keep him occupied until then.

* * *

While the gods were arguing over Joren's divine affiliation, the mysterious Chamber held the young man, suspended in time. His hand was on the door handle and his body leaned against the mirrored doorway, but he couldn't push it open until the exact moment that Mithros and the Goddess finished making their deal. Joren didn't know that he was caught up in a time freeze, but during what seemed to him to be a long pause, he feared he had chosen the wrong door.

The exhausted and battered young man slumped wearily as he became certain that the Dark God would be on the other side of the door to drag him away from the Living Realms. He wondered which door really was the correct one, if this one wasn't it. Suddenly, Joren was able to push the door open and the brightness of the sunlit chapel temporarily blinded his vision. Then he heard a roaring in his ears as he collapsed onto the flagstone floor.

Sir Paxton and Lord Raoul had rushed forward to catch Joren when he stumbled out of the Chamber. Lady Virryn cried out in alarm when she saw all of the blood and bruises on her unconscious son's face and hands. The healer on duty helped the knights lay the young man on the nearest bench so that he could examine him, and Kel brought forth the basin of warm water and the bandages that Raoul had advised her to have ready.

Joren was a bloody mess, but once the healer washed away most of the blood, he discovered that the majority of the wounds were superficial. Joren's sliced-up fingertips had bled so much that his hands were almost completely red and there were many bloodstains all over his shirt and breeches. His long blond hair had come loose from its binding and there were gruesome-looking streaks of blood all along its tangled length from when he'd run his fingers through it to get it out of his face. Joren slowly regained consciousness and groaned aloud as the healer examined every scratch, cut and bruise on his body.

Relief washed over Joren when he realized that he truly was in the Living Realms. He'd made it back to the chapel. He'd survived his Ordeal! Severe pain made him wince as he brought his hands up to his face and he pressed his bloodied palms against his eyes to hold in the tears. He heard someone order him to lie still while the healer used his Gift to heal two cracked ribs and a severely bruised collarbone. Joren would need stitches to close up two small, but deep gashes, and time would heal everything else.

There was no shame in collapsing after exiting the Chamber, plenty of candidates for knighthood fainted after their Ordeals ended, especially those who'd endured physically rigorous challenges. Everyone who had crowded into the small chapel to witness the final Ordeal of the season whispered quietly as the healer completed his work. Once the efficient mage verified that Joren was alive and conscious, many of the onlookers - mostly curious people who didn't really know the would-be knight or his family - began to drift away. It was time for breakfast and everyone was hungry. Within moments, only Joren's family, a few close friends and all of his year-mates remained in the chapel.

The healer urged Sir Paxton to bring Joren up to the infirmary to seek care for his remaining wounds as soon as they finished acknowledging all of his well-wishers. Joren winced in pain when he tried to sit up on his own, and the healer was chagrined to discover that he'd overlooked a tiny crack in another one of his ribs. After he examined him one more time, the healer helped him to sit upright on the bench. Although Joren felt lightheaded and his stomach rumbled loudly, he only asked for some water.

When Kel attempted to pass a silver flask to Lady Virryn, the older woman only shook her head and pulled the squire forward to give her son the water. Kel knelt next to the bench and held the flask up to Joren's swollen and cracked lips. He drank slowly, allowing the cool liquid to refresh his parched throat, but his half-closed eyes never left Kel's shining eyes. Carefully, Joren lifted his hand up to cover her hand that held the flask and she felt the familiar jolt which happened so often whenever they touched.

Joren finally emptied the flask, slumped against the back of the bench and closed his eyes again. He did not release Kel's hand when she tried to pull away. Instead, he brought it, flask and all, close to his chest and held her hand against his heart. Then Joren's head slumped forward as he fell asleep. Kel looked pleadingly at Raoul, who only shook his head slightly. This was something he'd never seen happen before.

Sir Paxton placed his hand on Joren's shoulder and shook him gently until he opened his eyes again. He quietly reminded his former squire that now wasn't the time to fall asleep. Now was the time to stand tall and face those who had awakened early enough to be here for him in the Chapel of the Ordeal. Before he raised his head, though, Joren kissed Kel's hand and then he released it. Slowly, the new knight stood next to his former knight-master and braced himself against the aches and pains he felt from all over his battered body.

Lady Virryn and Sir Langdon were the first ones to offer congratulations to Joren for surviving his Ordeal. They also thanked Sir Paxton for his time and effort and then stood behind the knights as the small group of people filed by. Lord Wyldon and Lord Raoul were next in line, followed by Lady Virryn's brother, Baron Lars of Dunmoor, whom Joren had met only twice before, when he was a boy. Next came all nine of Joren's year-mates, including the crown prince. It was a long-standing tradition that all of the other new knights of that season would come out to support whoever made it through the last Ordeal of the year, but their fresh memories of their time in the Chamber kept them from lingering in the chapel.

When Kel came through at the end of the line of well-wishers and clasped forearms with him, Joren was sorely tempted to pull her in close and kiss her hard, but two things kept him from losing his self-control. One, he wasn't really sure how she'd react to so public a kiss, and two, his lips were such a painful mess that he couldn't even smile without them starting to bleed again. So he contented himself with a quick wink at her and Kel rewarded him with a shy smile. Joren made a mental promise to himself to kiss her properly as soon as they could escape from all their self-imposed chaperones.

Joren still needed to visit the infirmary before he could eat a nice hot meal, then take a nice hot bath and then have a nice long rest in a nice soft bed - all in that order. He hoped there would be enough time for him to find and kiss Kel before his ceremony of knighthood occurred later that afternoon. If not, he would make sure that they would have some time alone afterward. Joren now knew what he wanted to do and he knew exactly how he wanted to accomplish his goal.

Soon, everyone had left the chapel except for Joren's mother and uncle, Sir Paxton, Lord Raoul and Kel. Joren took a final look at the cold metal door of the Chamber of the Ordeal and shuddered. While Lady Virryn and Sir Langdon led the battered young man toward the infirmary, Sir Paxton accompanied Raoul and Kel to the Own's dining hall for breakfast. They all agreed to arrive at the throne room early, well before the start of Joren's ceremony of knighthood, and then they went their separate ways.

* * *

Raoul and Kel were quiet when they walked down the corridor which led to the throne room where Joren's Ceremony of Knighthood would take place. They already had discussed the way that Joren had held onto Kel's hand that morning and what it might mean. Raoul had a feeling that the young man was more than just grateful for the water and probably knew better than to speak of his true emotions at the time. Joren and his mother and uncle, as well as Sir Paxton and his wife, Lady Amelia, already were in the throne room when they arrived.

Stone Mountain's knight-to-be was dressed magnificently in his family's colors of sky-blue, black and white. He wore a formal, blue satin tunic - which matched his eye color exactly - over a white silk shirt with black hose underneath. The tunic had intricate black embroidery all around the collar and hem and it hugged his well-muscled torso quite nicely. He had pulled his long, white-blond hair into tight horsetail and his mother had braided it and bound it all the way down its length with two crisscrossed ribbons. One of the satin ribbons was black and the other was sky-blue.

Joren's face looked much better than it had right after the Chamber had released him. Several scratches and bruises were still visible, but he had pleaded with the healer to mend his cracked lips as completely as possible. Now he could talk and eat and smile without pain. And now he could plan to use his lips in other ways, if an opportunity presented itself. Thoughts of such opportunities made him smile even more. When he noticed that Kel and Raoul had entered the room, he crossed over to them immediately.

"Lord Raoul and Squire Keladry," Joren bowed graciously to them and spoke formally, "Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. I know I wouldn't be standing here today if not for your timely assistance. I greatly appreciate your presence here this afternoon at my Ceremony of Knighthood. May the gods all bless you both as you continue on your missions for the realm."

Kel looked at Joren strangely and Raoul merely raised an eyebrow. Then the big man grinned widely and said. "Very nicely done, _Sir _Joren. How long have you been practicing that little speech?"

Joren grinned crookedly back at him, "Ever since Sir Paxton woke me up and made me write it out this afternoon. How is it? Not _too_ pompous, I hope?"

"It'll do," Raoul chuckled and shook his head, "It'll be quite suitable for the king and queen, as well as any other high-ranking guests. Are you expecting a large crowd?"

"Yes, representatives from all of the fiefs who muster behind my House's banner will be here," Joren answered. "Immediately after King Jonathan knights me, he'll call for my allegiance to him as Lord of Stone Mountain and he'll place the official seal on my shoulders. Then all of the barons and knights who served under my father's leadership and protection will swear their loyalty and service to me as I am sworn to the king. It's going to be a long ceremony, so I hope you ate a hearty lunch."

Raoul laughed and then excused himself to go over and speak with Sir Paxton for a moment. There was an awkward silence between Kel and Joren while they stood there. Kel glanced around the room until she spotted a familiar face.

"Is that the Archpriestess speaking with your mother?" Kel asked Joren. She remembered the stately old woman from her time as a page when Master Oakbridge assigned her to serve at Archpriestess Danayne's table during the holiday banquets. It had been the least contentious of all her table assignments.

Joren nodded and looked across the room, "Yes, that's her alright. After I become a knight and a lord, then my mother will cut off my hair and present it to the Archpriestess as an offering to the Great Mother Goddess. It's a long story, but the short version of it is that the men of Dunmoor, my mother's home fief, have always offered the hair of their youth to the Goddess to insure longevity and, um, fertility. That's why I've been letting it grow out so long. I'll only have the tiniest bit of hair left over to pull back into a ponytail after that." And he ran his fingers down the length of the braid which rested between his shoulder blades.

Kel shook her head, "Even after all of that, your hair _still _will be longer than my hair." Then she couldn't help herself and she giggled.

Joren turned his head sharply to look at Kel. The light sound of her silly little laugh did something to his insides that he couldn't begin to describe. She'd stopped the moment he stared at her, but he wanted to hear her giggle like that again. He also wanted to kiss her right then and there, but he held back. Raoul was across the room, exchanging stories with Sir Paxton, so Joren saw his opportunity to escape with Kel for just a moment.

"Come with me," Joren said, and he turned and walked away from her. "Right now."

Joren's voice sounded so terse and commanding that Kel thought something must be wrong. She quickly followed him without hesitation and found herself in a small area behind one of the thick velvet curtains that hung down from the ceiling and pooled onto the marble floor. It was dark and close and Kel's protective instincts were a fraction too slow.

Without any warning, Joren wrapped one arm around Kel's waist and pulled her into a tight embrace. The fingers of his other hand wound their way into her hair and held her nearly motionless while he kissed her - fiercely at first and then much gentler when he realized that his freshly-healed lips truly weren't up to such heavy use just yet. Even so, Joren reveled in the taste and smell and feel of Kel as he planted soft kisses all over her face and neck and then back to her lips again.

There was a very brief struggle between Kel's head and Kel's heart. She truly wanted Joren to kiss her, but she didn't think this was the appropriate time or place for him to do such a thing. Then again, _no_ time or place had ever seemed right for them. The last coherent thought Kel recalled having before her head gladly gave way to her heart was that it was so very considerate of Joren to wait until they could have at least this little bit of privacy before he attempted to kiss her again. After that, she only knew that she didn't want him to stop what he was doing.

The unmistakable sound of Raoul's chuckle froze Kel and Joren in place. "Ahem! I know you're in there, but it's time to come out now," rumbled his low voice from beyond the curtain, "More of your guests are arriving, _Sir Joren_, so I suggest that you calmly exit from the right side of the curtain and rejoin Sir Paxton and the others. Squire Keladry, you should wait there for few moments before you exit from the left side of the curtain and join me for a nice little walk."

Kel couldn't really see Joren's face in the semi-dark space, but she felt his smile against her lips before he released her. She also felt her own heart beating very quickly in her chest. How long had they been kissing behind the curtain? Surely, Kel thought, it hadn't been too long, but she was afraid that she and Joren must have lost track of time.

"Come on out, you two! You may continue your ... hmm ... _conversation_ after the ceremony," Raoul sounded insistent, but not irritated, "I'm trying not to draw too much attention to this place, so the sooner you come out, the better off you'll be. Duke Gareth the Younger and his wife, Lady Cythera, have entered the throne room now and this has always been one of _their _favorite spots. I really don't think you want them to discover you here."

Joren sighed with frustration and released Kel from his embrace. He straightened his tunic and smoothed his hair. He leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips against Kel's ear and whispered, "I _love_ you, Keladry of Mindelan, more than you know. And we will continue this ... _conversation_ very soon." Then he carefully stepped out from behind the curtain and strode confidently across the throne room without glancing at Lord Raoul.

Kel felt as though she'd been hit over the head too many times with a wooden staff. Although her heart was soaring with the realization that Joren had just professed his love for her, Kel wished that she possessed the magical ability to disappear into the floor rather than come out and face her knight-master. She smoothed her tunic and her hair, but she knew her face would betray her.

There was no way she'd be able to deny or hide what she and Joren had been doing behind the curtain. Still, Kel wouldn't have traded those few stolen moments - and kisses - for anything. It definitely was worth the scolding she was certain she was about to receive.

"It's all clear now," Raoul's voice interrupted her thoughts, "Just calmly walk out and exit the room. I'll meet you in the corridor."

Kel obeyed his instructions and hurried to fall into step with her knight-master as soon as she caught up with him. They walked in silence for a moment and then he led her out onto one of the small balconies. Most of the snow had blown away in the brisk breeze and the cold actually felt good against Kel's face. She waited for Raoul to speak, but at first he just stared at her. Then he began to laugh.

"Mithros help me; I hope I never have any daughters of my own!" Raoul was still chuckling softly as he wiped a tear from his eye. "This palace has barely changed since I was a squire, so we all know about the nooks and crannies that are perfect as hiding places. Joren actually picked a good spot, but I wasn't joking about what I told you. Whenever Gary and Cythera attend a function in the throne room, everyone knows that's where they'll eventually end up. It's practically become a tradition with those two and they don't like to share 'their' space with other people. You're lucky I found you before they did."

"Sir, I--" Kel began, but Raoul held up his hand to stop her.

"No, Kel, it's alright," he explained, "I've been expecting something like this, remember? Now you can cool off and compose yourself before we go back inside for the ceremony. Spending time in this cold air will give you a good excuse for having such a red face."

After their talk, Kel realized that it was time for her to reclaim some of her privacy concerning her potentially more intense romantic life. It was becoming too embarrassing to discuss these matters with Raoul, so she decided she'd just have to seek her mother's advice about Joren again. Unfortunately for her, Lady Ilane and Baron Piers had traveled out to Nond House for a few days to visit with Adalia and her family until it was time for the Progress to continue.

Later, Kel had her Yamani face firmly in place and she quietly stood next to Raoul while they watched the ceremony unfold the way Joren had explained it would happen. Lady Virryn proudly presented her son with a new sword and scabbard, as well as his shield, after King Jonathan knighted him. Sir Langdon presented the official signet ring to his nephew after the king accepted him as Lord of Stone Mountain. It was odd to see the older men step forward to offer their fealty to Joren, who was so very young in comparison.

After that, Joren fastened his new sword belt around his waist and drew the sharp, new blade out of its fancy scabbard. He lightly cut the palm of his hand - just enough to get blood on the blade - and handed it to his mother's brother. Then, using the bloodied side of the blade, Joren's Uncle Lars sliced off his thick braid and handed it to Lady Virryn. Archpriestess Danayne accepted their offering, untied the blue ribbon and returned it to Joren, and then she ended the ceremony with an eloquent prayer of thanks to the Great Goddess for all of her blessings. Finally, everyone applauded the acceptance of the last knight of the season, Lord Joren of Stone Mountain.

* * *

**A/N: I hope that those of you who wanted some fluff are happy. Also, I hadn't given much of a voice to the gods, so I thought it was time for them to meddle with these mortals' lives. ;D Again, I appreciate all of you who are continuing to read my story. Please review. Thanks! :D**


	51. Family Ties

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Just to clarify something, neither Joren nor Kel will become 'god-touched' or 'chosen ones' in this story. The way I see things, the gods in this world **_**always**_** meddle in the lives of 'their' mortals. The previous chapter just had a little peek into their negotiations as to which mortals they'll have the most influence over. As TP has stated in her past blogs, part of the reason the people eventually loved Kel so much was that she really seemed 'normal' and not Gifted or 'god-touched' in any way except that she's great at what she does. Anyway, from your lovely reviews I can tell that you really liked the fluff and I promise there **_**will**_** be more fluffy-fluff in later chapters, but this very long chapter is mostly full of important plot and character developments. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_After that, Joren fastened his new sword belt around his waist and drew the sharp, new blade out of its fancy scabbard. He lightly cut the palm of his hand - just enough to get blood on the blade - and handed it to his mother's brother. Then, using the bloodied side of the blade, Joren's Uncle Lars sliced off his thick braid and handed it to Lady Virryn. Archpriestess Danayne accepted their offering, untied the blue ribbon and returned it to Joren, and then she ended the ceremony with an eloquent prayer of thanks to the Great Goddess for all of her blessings. Finally, everyone applauded the acceptance of the last knight of the season, Lord Joren of Stone Mountain._

* * *

**Family Ties **

The new Lord Joren of Stone Mountain sat in one of the nicely-upholstered chairs by the hearth in his uncle's guest chambers and stared out the window at the falling snow. His mother, Lady Virryn, sat nearby, writing letters to far-away friends and associates to inform them of Burchard's recent death, as well as her son's knighthood. Joren was supposed to be writing letters, too, but the ink in his quill had dried up while he daydreamed. He could hear the bits of conversation and laughter coming from the adjoining room, where his uncles were trading stories about their recent adventures.

Sighing heavily, Joren remembered the feel of Kel in his arms and the taste of her on his lips. He had hoped to speak with her again before she left the throne room so that they could figure out when and where to meet again. Unfortunately, that hadn't happened because so many other people wanted to congratulate him and petition for appointments to see him during the upcoming weeks. Every time he turned around to locate Kel, someone else wanted to meet him and offer condolences for his father's death or tell him how wonderful it was that he was now a knight or ask when he could join them for a meal. Joren had struggled to maintain a pleasant smile.

The official business side of his new station in life was beginning to emerge, regardless of the traditional mourning period, and Joren was tired of it already. He'd tried to concoct some sort of reason to leave the throne room and go looking for Kel, but his mother reminded him of all his responsibilities, as well as the 'mountain' of correspondence they needed to write. Now the frustrated new lord was stuck in this room with his mother, composing letters and waiting for his uncles to finish getting ready for the banquet.

Virryn looked up from the parchment on which she'd been writing and glanced toward the doorway of the adjoining room. She had an odd feeling that someone was watching her, but no one was there, so she turned and watched Joren as he absentmindedly played with the length of blue ribbon that had once been wrapped around his long, braided hair. She heard him sighing and figured it would take a while for her vain son to get used to his much-shorter locks. She'd already commented that he could grow it out to whatever length he desired now, but he still sat there in a pensive mood. Virryn capped her bottle of ink and set aside her quill.

"Joren, you really should put that ribbon away in a safe place," she said. "I'd hate for you to get ink stains on it or worse, to lose it. If you truly intend to worship the Goddess in the ways of our Dunmoor ancestors, you'll need the ribbon again someday when you're ready to get married."

"What do you mean by that, Mother?" Joren stopped wrapping the ribbon around his smallest finger and stared at his mother and asked, "What are you talking about now?"

Even though Burchard insisted that Mithros was the patron god of Stone Mountain, Virryn had always won the argument with her late husband about keeping Joren's hair long when he was a young boy. She'd always told Joren that he needed to continue growing his hair in order to be able to make a proper offering to the Goddess when he became a knight. Burchard had scoffed at the low-country tradition, but he never pressured his son to cut his hair shorter because it upset his wife so much whenever he mentioned it. Ever since Burchard's death, Virryn had begun attending services at the integrated temple of the Great Mother Goddess, where men and women worshipped together, and she encouraged Joren to consider following the faith of their Dunmoor ancestors.

Virryn sighed and then said, "I know I haven't fully explained everything to you, darling. You'll learn more about the men's role in our faith when you spend some time with your Uncle Lars. This will be a chance for us to ... to rebuild our family ties. I just think you ought to know that there's powerful magic in that ribbon you're mauling."

"Magic?" Joren looked puzzled and he quickly shook the ribbon off of his hand and into his lap. "What sort of 'powerful magic' can there be in a simple piece of cloth?"

"Weren't you listening when the Archpriestess gave you her blessing?" Now Virryn spoke in a slightly exasperated tone. "She advised you to 'treasure your treasure with the one to whom you're bound.' Don't you remember? It was scarcely two hours ago!"

"Mother, you only started to teach me this faith recently," Joren reminded her. "I didn't even know there was anything beyond the haircut until yesterday before my vigil. And I still don't understand half of what the Archpriestess said to me. I thought it was mostly about our family being bound to the land and making good sacrifices for good harvests and such. Now, what's so special about this ribbon?"

"When you marry in front of the altar of the Goddess," Virryn patiently explained, "You will present that ribbon to your intended bride. Once you say your vows to each other, the priestess will use the ribbon to tie your bride's hands to your hands and then, while she asks the Goddess to bless you in a very special way, the ribbon will dissolve into your skin and you'll be bound to each other for as long as you both shall live. It's very much like the handfasting that the commoners do, except it's a permanent bond - mostly for noble marriages. It's meant to bring about the Goddess' unique blessings upon the landholder's marriage bed, as well as prosperity upon the land itself."

Joren was intrigued by this information and he picked up the ribbon again, holding it by one end. Virryn extended her arm toward him and he placed the ribbon over her hand as she continued to speak, "The Goddess' blessing isn't painful. And the ribbon's magic will not work until you're actually getting married. Generations after generation of men and women in my family have done this. I saw it happen at Lars' wedding and it's a beautiful thing."

"Did _you_ have a ribbon dissolve intoyour skin when you married my father?" Joren asked warily, glancing at her hands as though he'd never seen them before. "I don't think you've ever mentioned such a thing to me."

Virryn looked down at the ribbon in her hands and spoke softly, "No ... it was ... different for me. I was ... not on good terms with my family at that time. As I've told you, they ... they didn't approve. Only Agnes and Spencer - my faithful servants - had accompanied me to Stone Mountain when I was ... betrothed. After Langdon cancelled the ... the original betrothal, your father wouldn't hear of our wedding taking place anywhere else but at the Mithran chapel within his family's castle. That meant there was no ribbon and ... and there was no blessing. Not for me." She handed the ribbon back to Joren, who carefully rolled it up and placed it in one of his pockets for safekeeping.

"So ... when I'm ready to marry, I'm supposed to give this _magical ribbon_ to my betrothed?" Joren asked, wanting to make sure that he understood what his mother had said. "Is it like an engagement ring?"

Virryn nodded and said, "Very much so, but rings are popular for the followers of all the different gods. Only those who worship the Great Mother Goddess are concerned with the ribbons anymore. From what the Archpriestess told me, this tradition is much more prevalent in the kingdoms where most of the land is farmland. I wonder if your sister has become a follower of the Goddess since she moved to Maren. I guess you'll find out when you travel there to see her."

"Hmm ... that would be ... interesting. I'm sure that Anniseth has done whatever is most expedient. She's quite ... resourceful." Then Joren looked out the window again at the quickly fading light and exclaimed, "Blast it all! I can't believe it's still snowing!"

"Yes, I'll be so glad to return to sunny Persopolis," Virryn said as she shuddered, "Even if the bone-chilling winter climate at Stone Mountain really didn't make me ill, I prefer the warmth of the desert."

Excitement sparkled in his eyes when Joren turned back to his mother and asked, "Do you think we could invite Kel - ah, Squire Keladry - to supper at the villa when the Progress is in town there? I'm certain that she'd love to see your gardens; you two talked about them so much when she came to Marbleton House."

"Of course, we should invite her," Virryn smiled warmly at her son. She wasn't fooled by his statement; she knew Joren really liked the young lady squire and that he enjoyed her company very much. "That's a wonderful idea! Perhaps some of your other friends might come for a visit, too. Do you know where they'll be staying once everyone arrives?"

"No, but I should give Keladry the directions to find the villa before they leave tomorrow," Joren replied and then explained, "Lord Raoul is taking part of the King's Own out ahead of the Progress to scout the roadways and make sure there are no obstacles along the travel route. Of course, you and I won't be departing Corus until next week, so they'll be in Persopolis long before we get there."

Virryn uncapped her ink and began to write the directions, as well as the open invitation for Squire Keladry to visit them at the villa. She also included information about a few of the nicer eating establishments in Persopolis and the locations of two women's bath houses. Then she dried the ink, folded the parchment and gave it to her son. After she explained to him everything that she'd put in her note, he placed it in his pocket, with the ribbon. Joren felt much better now that he possessed a legitimate reason to find Kel. He could hardly wait to see her and ask her about visiting him and his mother again, as well as other topics of conversation.

While Joren and Virryn spoke of magical ribbons and blessings from the Goddess, his Uncle Lars noticed that Langdon kept glancing into the adjoining room. Lars knew that his newly-widowed sister was visible through the doorway and his heart became troubled as he watched his friend watching her. The young Sir Langdon had fallen in love with Lars' much younger and very beautiful sister, Virryn, the first time he'd visited Barony Dunmoor. Although Lars truly cared for his sister and her son, he never forgot that she had nearly ruined Langdon's life.

When the sixteen-year-old Virryn of Dunmoor married Lord Burchard instead of his brother, Sir Langdon, the betrayed and bitter knight angrily stayed away from Stone Mountain for quite a while. He and his best friend, Sir Lars of Dunmoor, went to the eastern border and served in the army together along the Drell River. Fighting the hill bandits and riding into skirmishes with raiders from Tusaine helped to distract Langdon's mind away from his heartache until King Jonathan ordered him to return to Stone Mountain to fulfill his duties as commander of the army garrison located there. To keep himself from going insane with jealousy and rage, the younger Stone Mountain brother spent most of his time away from the main castle and preferred living in a small house closer to the barracks.

Langdon and Lars remained the best of friends through the years, and Lars had tried, unsuccessfully, to convince Langdon that there had to be another woman for him somewhere. Eventually, he stopped inviting his friend to Dunmoor's harvest balls and wine festivals to meet eligible ladies and only had him come down from the mountains to attend the smaller, family-only gatherings where Langdon was like a doting uncle to Lars' children. Virryn's brother worried about his old friend from time to time, but the solitary knight seemed content just to work with the officers and soldiers under his command. Now, Lars was worried again and Virryn was still the cause.

When his estranged sister wrote to him and asked him to come to Corus and participate in his nephew's Ceremony of Knighthood, Baron Lars was overwhelmed with surprise. He hadn't been aware that Virryn had kept the tradition of letting her son's hair grow long. It had been many years since a male from any part of the Dunmoor line had become a knight and now, especially with the heavy rains of the past year, the crops were beginning to suffer. The idea of being able to offer the Goddess as rich a sacrifice as the hair of Joren's youth filled Lars with such joy that he truly forgave his sister of all the grief she'd caused. The baron didn't hesitate to ride through the drifting snow and he had arrived in time to see his nephew stumble out of the Chamber of the Ordeal that morning.

Interestingly, Virryn had asked her devout brother to help her son learn about the ways that the men of the Dunmoor line worshipped and honored the Goddess. She told Lars that Joren had agreed to visit the lands of his maternal ancestors during the harvest season so that he could learn more about her side of the family. He'd also agreed to spend some time getting to know his young cousins. Lars was glad to hear that Virryn wanted to have a closer relationship with Dunmoor and that she was returning to the faith of her youth. He also was glad to hear that she was returning to her winter lodgings in Persopolis, because he sensed that his unlucky friend, Langdon, was beginning to fall for his sister all over again.

* * *

Baron Piers of Mindelan sat in one of the comfortable chairs by the hearth in his private chambers and stared out the window at the falling snow. He and his wife, Lady Ilane, had just arrived back at the palace from Nond House where they'd spent a few days visiting one of their daughters, Adalia, and her family. Normally, it was a half day's ride, but today it had taken almost twice as long due to the heavy snow. They'd barely made it back in time for the final banquet and ball. Piers' tired eyelids started to droop as he listened to the soft, muffled sounds of conversation coming from the adjoining room, where his youngest daughter, Keladry, was helping her mother put the finishing touches on her preparations for the evening's events.

When Kel and Raoul left the throne room after Joren's ceremony, they immediately returned to their rooms to continue packing for their journey. Throughout Joren's ceremonies, Kel couldn't stop grinning and Raoul understood the reason for her happy attitude. He'd also noticed the way Joren gazed hungrily at Kel, which was the main reason they hadn't lingered after congratulating the new knight and lord. The almost-giddy squire dreaded having to listen to another lecture from her well-meaning knight-master, so she nearly danced with delight when she discovered the message from her parents stating that they had just arrived at the palace.

The note said that Kel's parents had decided to cut short their visit to Nond House and they returned to Corus earlier than they originally planned so that they wouldn't miss the final social events of the season. Since he and his squire already were appropriately attired for the evening, Raoul didn't hesitate to send Kel off to find Baron Piers and Lady Ilane. The big bachelor was more than happy to let his female squire spend some quality time talking to her mother about her romantic adventures instead of to him. They all would meet up again in the banquet hall.

Lady Ilane listened intently as Kel explained the events of the past week, from supper at Marbleton House up to and including Joren's kissing her that afternoon. The very perceptive mother had wondered how the news of Cleon and Ermelian's betrothal would affect both Joren and her daughter and now she knew. Ilane also suspected that the secretive couple had spent a lot more time together - much more than Kel admitted to at this time - but she wasn't going to pry. However, she had _not_ expected the new Lord of Stone Mountain to profess his love for her daughter so soon after his father's untimely death. Ilane silently pondered this surprising new development while she pinned up her long, silver hair and put the finishing touches on her face paint.

"Keladry, I'm so glad you were able to tell me all this," Ilane said in her deep, melodious voice, "But after everything you've said, I think the real question you must answer is this: how do _you_ feel about Joren now? Do you really think that you love him?"

Kel sighed. She had been wondering the same thing ever since Joren had whispered in her ear. When she was completely honest with herself, she admitted that she'd always enjoyed his wonderful and mostly-stolen kisses. She definitely liked the way he pulled her close to him and held her against his solid chest. She truly cared about him, but did she actually _love_ Joren? Kel didn't know the answer to that very important question, but she knew she had to figure something out before she saw him later that evening. There was no doubt in her mind that he'd find a way for them to be alone again.

"I ... I feel ... I feel ... confused! Mama, what exactly _is_ love?" Kel finally blurted out. "I see what you and Papa have and that's what I want, too. I just don't know if I can have that with Joren - certainly not any time soon. Is it ... possible for me to love him, but not want to _be with_ _him _yet?"

Ilane stood up and embraced her youngest daughter and smoothed her hair as she crooned, "Oh, my poor, darling Kel! You've asked the question that so many others before you have asked." Then she chuckled and said, "Love is many, many things, and yes, your father and I share a beautiful kind of love. I'm glad that's what you want for your life."

"But, Mama," Kel's voice wavered just a little, "What am I supposed to do with all these _feelings_ I have for him? You warned me about kissing leading to, well, other things and I ... I just didn't understand it then. But now, whenever Joren kisses me, I don't want him to ... to stop. It's way more than sparks and it seems like I'm losing my mind. It's ... it's insanity!"

Ilane continued to stroke her daughter's hair as she replied, "Kel, this may be difficult for you to comprehend, but I do believe it's quite possible for you to love Joren now and yet not give yourself to him _right now_. I even believe it's possible for you to have a future with him, but I don't think either of you are ready for that future to begin _right now_. You'll have to be very careful - always, _always _wear your pregnancy charm. You've already told Joren about your goals in life - many times. If he truly loves you, darling, he'll wait for you. And if you truly love him, you'll be able to help him understand. That's part of love, too. And we already know that you seem to have a special talent for helping Joren understand things."

Kel stood there in her mother's arms, not wanting to leave the serenity and safety of her rooms. She had missed being able to pour out her heart and receive such wise, womanly advice in return. Lord Raoul was a good man, and a great knight-master, but her mother was, well, her mother. Kel felt much calmer as she pulled away from Ilane's warm, maternal embrace and took a deep, cleansing breath.

"A knight's first duty is to understand." Kel murmured the final sentence of the Ritual of Knighthood. When Ilane merely raised an eyebrow at her, she explained, "I will appeal to Joren's sense of chivalry. He's much better at that sort of thing now. I'll tell him tonight and I'll simply ask him to ... understand."

Ilane nodded. "That sounds like a good plan, darling. May the gods be with you. Now, let's wake your father. It's time for us to go down to the banquet hall and I'm certain that he's dozed off while we've been in here chatting." And, of course, she was correct.

* * *

Lord Wyldon of Cavall sat in one of the high-backed chairs by the hearth in his private chambers and stared out the window at the falling snow. His wife, Lady Vivienne, and his youngest daughter, Margarry, sat nearby, working on their embroidery. They all could hear the chatter and giggles coming from the adjoining room, where his three oldest daughters were preparing for the evening banquet.

Wyldon was beginning to feel old. Not that he was vain, but he'd noticed a bit more silver in what little hair remained on his balding head. Soon, he and Vivienne would become grandparents. Their oldest daughter, Odette, who'd recently celebrated her third wedding anniversary, was pregnant with her first child which was due in late spring. He could hear her high, musical laugh above the other girls' giggles as they fixed each other's hair and commented on each other's face paint and jewelry. The young women were very excited.

During the final banquet of the season, Wyldon would announce the betrothal of his third daughter, Cordelia, to Sir Garth of Legann, one of Lord Imrah's nephews. Garth was the much-older brother of Cordelia's best friend at the convent school, Nelda of Legann. Cordelia had fallen in love with the seasoned knight when Wyldon, at Vivienne's request, had allowed their daughter to visit her friend in the coastal city during the summers.

Sir Garth was one of the knights who had begun his page training at the same time Lord Wyldon had accepted the position of training master. He had come across the not-so-young knight's file when he was researching his own shortsightedness about the moral fitness of his trainees, as well as his failure with Vinson of Genlith. Wyldon had been training the realm's pages for over fifteen years now; and while he enjoyed his work, he also wondered if it was time to allow someone with a fresh outlook to take over the position. Returning to Cavall for a while, and then being assigned to field duty near his home, both seemed more and more appealing with every snowflake that drifted past the window.

Vivienne noticed her husband's pensive mood and sought to bring him out of it, so she said, "That was quite the ceremony this afternoon, Wyldon. What did you think of that part at the end, when Joren's uncle cut off his braid?"

It took him a moment to refocus his attention, but he finally answered, "That was ... unexpected. I didn't realize that Joren had become such a devout follower of the Goddess. Burchard certainly wasn't."

"No, definitely not." Vivienne agreed. "I remember when my dear friend, Cordelia of Blue Harbor, first married Burchard of Stone Mountain - may the gods grant peace to both their souls. That man wouldn't allow her to keep anything more than a small shrine to the Goddess, even in her private rooms. It was quite upsetting to Cordelia, especially because she was certain that her lack of proper devotion was the reason the Goddess did not bless her womb with more children after Anniseth was born. Whatever has changed in Joren's faith since Burchard's death, you can be sure that it came from _his_ mother."

"You're probably right, dear," Wyldon said absently as he now stared at the fire in the hearth.

"I'm sure that Lady Virryn's family of origin follows the Goddess," Vivienne said, "After all, Barony Dunmoor produces some of the finest wines in all of Tortall. Anyone who depends on good harvests had better pay proper homage to the Goddess."

"Yes, well, perhaps the Goddess will be pleased with such an interesting offering," he replied. "I've always wondered why the boy kept his hair so long. Mithros! I remember receiving a very angry letter from Lady Virryn when Joren was a first-year page and some older boys gave him a rather pitiful haircut." In fact, Wyldon had just seen that letter again when he'd read through Joren's trainee file.

Vivienne raised her eyebrows. "I wonder if Burchard's second wife felt the same way that Cordelia did about his attitude toward worshipping the Goddess. I think it's awful when people don't respect the religious preferences of others. Poor Lady Virryn! I still don't like the woman, but I do pity her. Her life with Burchard was not an easy one."

"But Mama, I thought you said Lady Virryn brought trouble upon herself when she married Lord Burchard and not his younger brother, Sir Langdon, like she was supposed to do," Margarry interjected. "That's what you said to Lady Arrabella at tea the other day."

The fact that his precocious daughter had just exposed her mother's own gossiping was just too funny to Wyldon. He hid his smile behind a cough and silently watched as Vivienne scolded Margarry for eavesdropping and repeating what others had said. He knew he should chime in and support his wife, but he also knew that Margarry had a point. The ladies at court tended to gossip quite a bit and the recent troubles of the Stone Mountain family had been a main topic of discussion this Midwinter season. Wyldon was glad it was almost over.

"Margarry, why don't you go visit with your sisters for a while?" Wyldon suggested. "I can see that _you're_ already dressed for the banquet, but perhaps you can help them hurry along. Tonight is an exciting time for all of us as we announce Cordelia's betrothal. Just think - soon, you'll be my only little Cavall girl left at home."

"Papa, I'm almost twelve years old! I am _not_ little," Margarry sniffed, "My sisters are just ... old ... and slow. The reason they aren't ready yet is that they gossip too much. Besides, they just want to blather on about weddings and new gowns and other boring things. I like the interesting discussions that you and Mama have."

"Nevertheless, your mother has a point," Wyldon replied. "You mustn't go around repeating what others have said in their private discussions, understand?"

"Yes, Papa," Margarry bowed her head. When she looked up again, she had a mischievous twinkle in her eyes and Wyldon knew to brace himself for whatever she was going to say next. "Thank you for allowing me to come with you and Mama this afternoon. I like Lord Joren much better than Lord Burchard. He's different than he was before."

Wyldon raised an eyebrow, "Different? How so?" He was interested to hear what his observant, not-so-little girl had to say.

"Oh, I think he's still very handsome and all," Margarry blushed slightly and continued, "Remember how all the girls swarmed around him when we visited Lady Anniseth at Stone Mountain? Well, it's not like that anymore. Of course, the ladies still like him, but that's too bad for them because Lord Joren is only interested in one particular female. In fact, I think he's just like Bruno the wolfhound now!"

Wyldon and Vivienne exchanged a questioning glance. Bruno had been one of their kennel's champion wolfhound studs. After a few successful years of breeding, though, Bruno refused to mate with any of their female wolfhounds. Instead, the large, gray hunting dog preferred Rosie, a reddish-brown mutt, who was one of the best herding dogs at Cavall. Rosie was a favorite of the shepherds who tended Cavall's substantial flocks of sheep and goats.

When Vivienne finally realized that she couldn't force Bruno to do her will anymore, she gave up on the headstrong hound and let him loose to sleep in the barn with the mate he'd chosen for himself. Now, there was quite a demand for Rosie and Bruno's multi-colored offspring. They also had become quite popular with tenants throughout the Cavall lands because they all were dependable, hard-working dogs.

Wyldon felt a cold chill run down his spine. Hadn't Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton informed him of the budding romance between their squires? He sensed that his intuitive daughter was saying that Keladry of Mindelan and Joren of Stone Mountain were meant for each other, but he forced himself to ask more questions anyway. Then the wary training master again braced himself for answers he was certain he wouldn't like.

"What exactly are you saying, Margarry?" Wyldon asked her. "Why do you think that? And what has given you such ideas?"

Margarry big brown eyes were serious as she explained what she had observed when Wyldon and Vivienne had allowed her to accompany them to Joren's Ceremony of Knighthood. She'd noticed that the handsome new knight kept watching the one lady squire while he greeted his well-wishers. Even when he was talking to beautiful ladies, Joren's sky-blue eyes would search for and find the tall girl with the even taller knight-master. Margarry, who still possessed a keen sense of which animals in the Cavall kennels and stables would make good breeding pairs, then stated that she thought the lady squire would be an excellent match for Lord Joren.

"I predict they'll have better offspring than any of the other people I've put together," Margarry insisted. "Even better than Cordelia and Garth, Mama. You'll see."

Wyldon turned his now-stony gaze from his daughter to his wife and did not break eye contact with Vivienne as he said. "Alright, Margarry, run along and tell your sisters that they have less than half a bell's time to be ready to go. We shall not be late."

Margarry put down her needlework and did as she was told without any further remarks. She even closed the door behind her because she could tell that her parents were about to have an intense discussion. Wyldon's youngest daughter was sorry that she was the cause of her parents' upcoming argument, but she knew it wasn't the first time that her perceptions had caused a bit of a ruffle - and she knew it wouldn't be the last time, either.

"Any of the _other people _she's put together?" Wyldon's voice was tight. "Vivienne, what is the meaning of this? What's been going on back at Cavall? And since when has our daughter been a ... a matchmaker for two-legged beings?"

Vivienne sighed, "Calm down, Wyldon, it's not all bad. You know that Margarry has a 'gift' for this sort of thing. When she was younger, it was just the animals. Now that she spends most of the year at the convent school, she's become more perceptive about people, too. Especially people of, shall we say, 'breeding age.' She's the one who told me that she liked Garth for Cordelia, Turald for Celine, and--"

"Don't tell me," Wyldon pinched the bridge of his nose, "Odette's husband, too? Mithros, Vivienne, she's only eleven years old! I can understand her intuition about breeding the animals, but I cannot be so lenient about her matching people together. Why have you allowed this to continue?" He felt the beginnings of his old, familiar stress headache.

"She's very good at what she does, that's why," Vivienne held her head a little higher. "Three of our stable hands, the reeve's son and a few local shepherds all have fine wives now and new families because of our talented daughter's intuition about people and their compatibility. I don't know why Margarry has such a gift - two different mages have examined her and to the best of their knowledge, she doesn't possess any other trace of magic. She just ... _knows_ which beings should be coupled with each other."

Now Wyldon raised his eyebrows and said, "You've had our daughter examined by _two_ mages and this is the first I'm hearing of it? She's making matches for our tenants as well as for our breeders? What else haven't you told me, Vivienne?" He wasn't exactly angry, but he was deeply concerned and anxious.

"Wyldon, please don't be upset," Vivienne tried to make her voice sound soothing, "You have a very important mission here at the palace and I'm not going to bother you with every little thing that happens back at Cavall. Neither of us can do anything about the way Margarry sees things. If you'd spent more time around her, you would understand."

The silence between them was filled with tension. Wyldon knew that his wife was very proud of his position as training master. He'd been training pages since before Margarry was born and Vivienne had raised all of their daughters mostly by herself. She also ran the fief efficiently and without complaining, but the past few years had been difficult ones. The older girls' courtships and betrothals and weddings had taken their toll. Margarry was in her second year at the convent school and although she spent her summer breaks helping Vivienne in the kennels and stables back at Cavall, Wyldon's wife essentially was alone now.

"Well ... that's everything then," Wyldon rose from his chair and walked over to the window. "I've been thinking about resigning ever since Joren went to trial two years ago. Add to that my failure with Vinson of Genlith and now _this_." He sighed and looked out the window again. The winter sky was dark now and the snowfall had slowed to just a flurry. The torches were lit and he could see the shadows of people arriving for the banquet as they walked along the covered passageways.

Vivienne rose out of her chair and wrapped her arms around Wyldon's waist. She rested her head against his solid back and spoke softly into his formal brown tunic, "You don't have to leave the palace, Wyldon. Not for me. We'll figure out a way to control Margarry's special talent - I promise. I'll even tell her to keep her perceptions to herself for the time being. Please ... _please _don't do this for my sake."

"It's not just for you, my love, although you'd be reason enough," Wyldon said as he turned around within Vivienne's embrace and kissed her lightly on her forehead. "I believe my time here is finished - someone else will need to make the changes that must come. I'm no longer the right person for this position and I'll inform the king of my decision tomorrow morning. But let's not speak of it anymore because tonight is a time for celebration. Now, let's get our girls and go on to the banquet. As I said before, we shall not be late."

* * *

Squire Nealan of Queenscove sat in one of the sturdy, wooden chairs by the hearth in his father's office and stared out the window at the falling snow. He knew it was almost time for him to report to Master Oakbridge - and serving duty for the evening banquet and ball - but he didn't want to go. Neal's knight-mistress, Alanna the Lioness, had abandoned him at the palace while she spent some private time with her own family at Pirate's Swoop. He wouldn't see her again until she and her husband, Baron George Cooper, caught up with the Progress near Persopolis. Meanwhile, Neal was stuck helping the other, unassigned squires perform holiday duties and he despised his current fate.

"Oh, stop sulking, Neal," said his father, Duke Baird, Chief Royal Healer, "You made your choice long ago and you have to accept the bad with the good. Just remember, you could've been working as a healer already for the past several years."

"I know, I know," Neal groaned. "I'm just procrastinating, that's all. Tonight is going to be a very long night with all the introductions of the new knights, announcements of betrothals, and the toasts." He slapped his hand against his forehead in mock anguish. "Ugh! The _toasts_ are going to go on _forever_!"

Duke Baird shook his head and said, "I don't want to hear anymore moaning and grumbling from you. I only have to finish writing this last report and then we'll go down to the banquet hall together. Your mother told me that I'd better not be late this time unless someone of royal birth actually was dying up here. So ... if you have a question for me, ask it. Otherwise, shoo! Go away!" And he waved his hand at his lanky son.

"Actually, there _is_ something that's been bothering me," Neal sat up straighter and said, "I'm concerned about a ... a friend of mine. I believe that this friend is becoming ... involved with someone who isn't right for her - I mean my friend. There's just too much bad history between them and I don't want ... my friend to get hurt anymore. What can I do to help my friend?"

"You can't do anything," Baird said matter-of-factly, "Not if it's a matter of the heart. And if your _friend _happens to be the daughter of the fearless Lady Ilane of Mindelan, then your _friend_ is highly likely to make an unconventional choice regardless of what you do." His eyes sparkled with merriment as Neal's mouth dropped open.

"How did you ... what did I say ... how could you have guessed I was talking ... about Kel?" Neal finally asked.

"I've been at this for a long time, remember?" Baird smiled crookedly and glanced around his office. "A good healer learns how to 'read' his patients very well. Additionally, a good healer always notices which people come to the infirmary to comfort family members in times of distress. Remember, too, I handled Lord Burchard's case. Your friend, Squire Keladry, spent quite a bit of time up here, sitting with Lady Virryn. Somehow, I don't think she just happened to be passing by."

"But Father, you _know_ how awful Joren has treated Kel over the years," Neal said in an exasperated tone, "You've even fixed her blackened eyes and broken nose and the many other injuries he inflicted upon her in the past. I don't want him to hurt her again. How can you tell me to do nothing?"

"People _can_ and _do_ change, Neal," Baird replied. "_You_ certainly did. If anyone had asked me ten years ago what you'd be doing now, I'd have told them you'd be married to some scholarly lady from the university and you'd be working with me here at the palace. Look at you now - you're the personal squire to the only lady knight in all of Tortall. Who knows what you'll be in two more years, or even ten?"

"I'll be a better knight than Joren - excuse me, _Lord_ Joren - that's for sure," grumbled Neal, "I just don't want Kel to be fooled by his current good behavior. Joren was such an angry and conniving boy, even for all his good looks. And his father-- Mithros! I hate to speak ill of the dead, but I overheard their final argument right before Lord Burchard collapsed and I actually felt sorry for Joren. Nevertheless, how can a person who has grown up with such hostility really change?"

Baird shrugged, "As for true change - only the gods know for sure. But I've witnessed many transformations up here in the infirmary. I can tell you, Joren _is_ different now. He's been through a lot of pain lately, especially with his father's final days and death and all. I'm certain that his outlook on life isn't the same as it was when he was a boy-page. And Squire Keladry has always been such a _fascinating_ young lady. Pity, you never liked her for yourself, did you?"

Neal blushed and looked down. He felt like a young lad again under his father steady gaze. There was no way for him to lie to the senior healer, who knew him almost better than he knew himself, so he told Baird about the pact with his fellow pages and about the time he and Kel had kissed and how it just wasn't quite right. The mature squire became shocked and indignant when his father doubled over with laughter.

"I'm trying to be serious here and tell you my problems," Neal complained, "And you're _mocking_ me? Father, this isn't like you! Did I say something unintentionally funny?"

Duke Baird wiped his eyes and drank some water from the flask on his desk. Then he told Neal about his first romance with the lovely Ilane of Seabeth and Seajen and _their_ first kiss. Then the father-and-son pair had to laugh at the idea that they'd had such similar experiences with the ladies from that particular family line. Neal was both relieved and pleased to hear that Baird and Ilane remained good friends, even after they each married very different people. Perhaps it would be the same for him and Kel.

"Blast it all, Neal!" Baird suddenly exclaimed as the bells chimed the hour, "Now both of us are late!" And then the two men of Queenscove hurried down to the banquet hall as quickly as possible, laughing all the way there.

* * *

**A/N: Well, after all those 'little' plot points, I hope you can see more of where this story is headed. Predictions are welcome, of course, but you'll have to keep reading to find out how close your guesses are. ;-) I _cherish_ your reviews - please keep sending them! Thanks!! :D**


	52. Too Many Toasts

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Woo hoo! Congrats to 'pyrena93' for sending in the 800th review!! =D I wrote all of the **fluffy fluff** in this chapter in honor of you! ;D BTW, 'Lady Myriam' was soooo close at 799, too. I love you all for being such faithful reviewers. ^_^ **

**Sorry it took a while for me to finish this long update. I was preparing to teach a workshop for other teachers and then I actually taught it. (Natch!) Sadly, my writing got pushed to the margins. I really hope to finish this saga before the summer break, so I might decide to do some time jumping. I haven't made up my mind yet, but I'll let you know. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_"Oh, stop sulking, Neal," said his father, Duke Baird, Chief Royal Healer, "You made your choice long ago and you have to accept the bad with the good. Just remember, you could've been working as a healer already for the past several years."_

_"I know, I know," Neal groaned. "I'm just procrastinating, that's all. Tonight is going to be a very long night with all the introductions of new knights, announcements of betrothals, and the toasts." He slapped his hand against his forehead in mock anguish. "Ugh! The _toasts_ are going to go on _forever_!"...._

_.... "Blast it all, Neal!" Baird suddenly exclaimed as the bells chimed the hour, "Now both of us are late!" And then the two men of Queenscove hurried down to the banquet hall as quickly as possible, laughing all the way there._

* * *

**Too Many Toasts**

"Where have you been?" Kel practically hissed at Neal at she glided past him with a full tray of beverages, "Master Oakbridge nearly had a fit when he found out he was short one squire!" Due to the large crowd at this year's final feast, the fussy etiquette master had assigned all of the available squires to distribute and refill the beverages, while the pages were responsible only for the many food trays and water bowls.

Neal shook his head and whispered back at her, "I was at the infirmary. Nothing serious though. My father escorted me down here and he smoothed everything over with old fusspot." Then he rearranged a few of the goblets on his own tray for better balance.

"It must be nice to have such wonderful alibis," Kel whispered and then looked at him disapprovingly, "You don't look sick or hurt."

"Did I say I was?" Neal raised an eyebrow at her as he carried the tray over to his assigned section of the banquet hall.

The tall, emerald-eyed squire groaned inwardly when he realized that his assigned post for the banquet was near the tables where the new Lord Joren of Stone Mountain and his family and friends were seated. Neal made brief eye contact with the newly-knighted lord and decided to ignore the smirk that played around the edges of Joren's mouth. Instead, he politely began to distribute the goblets of wine and fruit juice to the guests at the nearby tables.

It seemed to Neal that Joren appeared to be in very good spirits already and Neal's jaw tightened when he realized the reason for the blond man's smile. His sky-blue gaze was focused on the place across the room where Kel was serving Lord Raoul and his guests. When Neal witnessed the lady squire returning her admirer's smiles, he was sorely tempted to 'accidentally' spill a goblet of wine on Joren's lap. He changed his mind as soon as he saw that Kel had turned her back to him and continued to perform her duties without being distracted.

Thoughts of his father's certainty about Joren's transformation caused Neal to be very attentive to the conversations at the tables where he was serving. The guests on his side of the banquet hall were mostly conservative and definitely stuffy, so the bits of information and gossip that drifted into the squire's ears as he performed his duties tended to be bland and uninteresting. Thankfully, the second-year pages assigned to his area were calm and efficient and Neal was able to avoid colliding with them as they brought out tray after tray of delicious-smelling food. He was starving, but supper for the squires was a long time away because they'd also have to serve at the ball.

On the other side of the banquet hall, Kel had a much more enjoyable time serving her knight-master and the other guests who were seated at the tables nearest him. There was a lot of friendly banter around her assigned tables and she overheard several funny stories and bad jokes. Some people, like Raoul, drank juice but most of the guests preferred wine or ale. Kel refilled the wine goblets so many times, she wondered if anyone would be able to dance at the ball without falling over. The more the people drank, the sillier their stories and jokes became.

The lady squire already was having difficulty maintaining the proper composure while she served the drinks, because the guests kept trying to make her laugh. She nearly dropped a full goblet, though, when she looked up and noticed that Joren was smiling at her from across the room. The handsome blond knight winked at her and Kel's breath caught in her throat. She chanced a quick smile in return and then turned her back to him so that she could concentrate on her duties. She was not going to allow his smoldering gazes to distract her tonight.

Neal wasn't the only one to notice the smiles between Kel and Joren. Raoul hid his smirk in his goblet when he saw it happen. Lady Ilane gently nudged her husband and whispered to him about it. Margarry of Cavall kept it to herself, because she did not want to upset her father any more this evening. Even Cleon, who had not quite broken himself of watching Kel, ground his teeth together as he realized that something was going on between the woman he wished he could have and the new Lord of Stone Mountain.

After the pages served the beautifully-formed desserts, the royal herald stood near the dais and called for quiet in the banquet hall so that he could announce all of the new knights of the realm. Prince Roald stood up first, next to his father on the dais, and all of the guests toasted to his good health and his future marriage. Then, one by one, from Cleon to Joren, each of the new knights rose from his seat when his name was called and King Jonathan led everyone in formal toasts to their health and their future successes for the glory of Tortall. Unfortunately, Neal's prediction to his father came true: the many betrothal announcements and celebratory toasts took an extremely long time.

By the time the monarchs gave their final speeches and invited everyone to join them in the grand ballroom for an evening of dancing, all of the squires' were feet were quite sore. The predominantly conservative crowd Neal had been serving kept waving the squire over to their tables to refill their wine goblets as other guests began to leave the banquet hall. Many of them appeared to be content to sit and drink and talk until the dancing actually began. Neal envied those who were not staying for the ball because he wanted nothing more than to eat a good meal and fall into his bed. Of course, that would not happen for several hours.

Toward the end of the banquet, when Kel bent over to retrieve an empty goblet that had fallen off of her tray, she felt a familiar trickle seep down into her hose. _Blast it all_! She thought. Her monthly bleeding had started a full two days earlier than she'd expected it. Thankfully, Kel and Raoul had worked out special 'code phrases' for her to use in case of such an emergency. If anyone ever overheard their comments, it wouldn't be obvious that the lady squire was running back to her rooms to take care of such a personal matter.

"My lord," she said quietly as she bent down to speak next to his ear, "I regret to inform you that the new moon festival is sooner than I had thought. The courier brought the message today, but I forgot to bring it with me. Shall I go and fetch it?"

Raoul nodded slowly and replied, "I understand, Squire Keladry. Go quickly and then return as soon as possible. I'll let Master Oakbridge know that I sent you on an errand for me and that we'll go to the ballroom as soon as you get back." Then Raoul sat back in his chair and stroked his chin thoughtfully before saying, "Although, now that I think about it, there's really no rush. I'll just stay here and chat for a while until you return. Please - take _all _the time you need." His wicked smile was full of meaning and Kel knew then that her knight-master had decided to use her sudden indisposition as an expedient excuse to stay away from the match-making mothers and their dancing daughters for a while.

* * *

Kel barely finished exchanging her soiled loincloth and hose for fresh ones and a protective pad when she heard a knock on her door. At first she ignored it - no one should have known she was in her rooms. But the knocking became more insistent so she figured that, however unlikely, Raoul might've sent a runner or a page to hurry her along. Perhaps, she thought, the king had ordered her obstinate knight-master to come into the ballroom immediately.

Quickly adjusting her shirt and tunic, Kel opened the door, only to have Joren push his way inside her room. He gently placed his hands on both sides of her face and covered her mouth with hungry kisses. The sparks of excitement that tingled through Kel's body pushed away almost every rational thought she possessed and she returned Joren's kisses with enthusiasm. Then his not-so-gentle assault on her lips made her head spin and her legs feel weak.

Kel was vaguely aware of Joren closing the door behind him with his foot while he maintained close body contact with her. When she was a page, Lord Wyldon never had allowed her to be in the same room with any of her male counterparts unless the door was wide open. Raoul didn't have such a rule for his lady squire to follow, but now, she thought, it might not be such a bad idea.

"You ... we ... shouldn't be ... in here ... like this." She managed to say between their kisses.

"Shhh ... Our lips ... are continuing ... their previous ... conversation," Joren's voice was slightly slurred as he spoke while continuing to kiss her. "And it's ... not polite ... to interrupt ... such talk."

His lips and mouth tasted of sweet wine and Kel wondered how much of it the new knight had consumed during the banquet. She also wondered if it was possible for her to get tipsy from such a strong scent of wine. She'd never been much of a drinker and after witnessing the effects of so many toasts at the banquet, she reconfirmed her opinion that consuming too much wine could be a dangerous thing.

"Joren ... are you ... are you _drunk_?" Kel finally was able to ask through more kisses. The ever-shrinking sane part of her brain dreaded the thought that he was visiting her only because he'd had too much to drink.

He kept talking and kissing her, "Mmm hmm ... verra mush so ... but I ... still know ... what I'm doing ... even if ... _you_ don't know." His low chuckle sent a shiver down her spine and then he began to tickle her sides.

Disregarding the alarm bells going off in her head, Kel giggled when she tried to squirm away from his playful touch, which only made Joren tickle her more. Obviously, she had no way of knowing that the sound of her girlish laughter sent thrilling sensations through his body. He finally stopped tickling her and drew her closer to him for longer, slower kisses. As Kel relaxed in Joren's arms, something about what he'd said finally registered in her brain.

"Wh-what did you mean by that?" She asked, pulling herself away from his warm lips just enough to gaze into his gorgeous sky-blue eyes. "What is it that I don't know?

Joren returned her gaze and grinned when he saw how green her hazel eyes had become. He loved to watch the color of Kel's hazel eyes transform from greenish-brown to mostly green, because it meant that she was excited. It also was very exciting for him to know that his actions had brought about such a curious change. Holding her close again, he gently nipped at her earlobe.

When Joren quietly spoke into her ear, his husky voice was almost a most purr. "You're still a maiden, so you don't know how much I _need_ to be with you, Kel. Never in my life have I wanted a female the way I want you now. All night long I've watched you from afar and I just couldn't stand it anymore. When I saw you leave the banquet hall by yourself, I followed you here." The excess wine had not affected his manual dexterity at all and he'd been able to open the top two fasteners of her shirt while he was speaking.

For a long moment, Kel lost the words that had been on the tip of her tongue as Joren softly nipped and kissed his way down from her earlobe to the small bit of skin he'd exposed at the base of her neck. She felt completely giddy, as though she was spinning out of control and she didn't know how to stop. It was only after the dull ache in her lower abdomen intensified to an actual cramping sensation, that Kel was able to pull herself away from Joren's intoxicating kisses. He might want her, but he certainly wasn't going to have her tonight.

"No, Joren," she softly panted as he kept kissing her cheeks and jaw line, "We have to stop. Lord Raoul expects me back very soon so that we can go on to the ballroom." She was too embarrassed to tell him the main reason she couldn't allow him to continue, but she thought that the call of duty was a good enough one.

He shook his head and said, "_Everyone _knows how much your knight-master hates to dance. He won't be missing you yet." And then Joren resumed kissing her on her lips again.

When Kel felt her knees give way, she realized that while they'd been at it, Joren had backed her up against her bed. His body language told her that he truly meant to bed her, right there in her own room, without so much as a formal request for courtship or even a bouquet of flowers as a sweetening gift. Suddenly annoyed by Joren's drunkenness and horrified that he might discover her current physical disposition, Kel quickly came back to her senses. Then she placed her hands against his chest and pushed him away from her so she could sidestep out of his reach.

"I mean it, Joren," Kel's voice had a warning tone to it now, "It's my _duty_ to go back and serve at the ball. You've had a very, _very_ long day and ... and perhaps too much wine and you need to rest. You should just ... go to bed now."

Joren smiled crookedly at her and quipped, "That's what I'm _trying_ to do, but my lady isn't cooperating."

Kel blinked. Whenever she had allowed herself to daydream of romantic possibilities, she usually imagined that the first time a man tried to bed her, he would have courted her favorably and treated her the same way she saw her father treat her mother. And though she sometimes imagined that Joren might become her first real lover, Kel _never_ imagined anything as messed up as the current situation. The idea that Joren's desire was fueled mostly by wine only made her feel disrespected and disappointed.

"I am _not_ your lady," she replied coolly. "And I think it's time for you to go to your own rooms now, _Sir Knight_."

Confused blue eyes searched flashing green-hazel eyes. Joren's wine-soaked brain couldn't figure out what he'd done wrong. Kel had matched him kiss for kiss and her body language was so full of the promise of great passion that his whole being trembled with anticipation. Now she was standing farther away from him than he wished and she was glaring at him as though he had done a bad thing.

"But ... but I _love_ you, Kel," Joren's voice was still husky, "You love me, too, don't you?"

Ever since Joren had pulled her into the space behind the curtain in the throne room and whispered of his love for her, Kel had wondered when he would ask her if she loved him in return. She tried to remind herself that his declaration of love had happened before all of the toasts. She also knew that, deep down, the amount of wine he'd consumed had very little with the way he truly felt about her. Of course Kel loved Joren, too, but there was no way that she would give herself to him in either his current condition or her own state of being. Unwanted tears filled her eyes and her throat felt too tight for words, so she nodded her head several times as she took another step toward the door.

"What's wrong, Kel?" More confusion filled Joren's eyes and face at the contradicting combination of Kel's unspoken 'yes' answer and her backing away from him at the same time. "Your kisses definitely tell me that you want me as much as I want you. Now we both _know_ that we love each other, and I ... and I--"

Remembering the ribbon in his pocket, Joren's addled brain latched onto an incredibly impulsive idea. He pulled out the strip of blue material and thrust it toward her, swaying slightly on his feet, "I want you to become _my _lady tonight, Kel. See this ribbon? It's like an engagement ring. Honestly, it is! There are more than a few ladies who would do anything to be with me - some of them informed me of that tonight. But I love _you_ more than anyone in the whole world, Keladry of Mindelan. I'd even marry you right now if you would let me."

Kel closed her eyes and let the tears slide down her face without wiping them away. Her heart hurt. Her head hurt. Her insides hurt. A severe cramp almost made her double over in pain. Usually, her monthlies didn't bother her so much, but she figured that this awful situation, added to her hunger and fatigue, must have worn her down. All she really wanted to do was to curl up into a little ball on her bed and cry herself to sleep. "_But there'll be none of that_," she thought, "_I am a squire - in training to become a knight of the realm - and I will be strong."_

Ignoring the ache in her heart, Kel decided that she didn't have the time or the patience for Joren's nonsense anymore. She shook her head at the offered ribbon and gently pushed his hand aside. Handfasting ribbons might be alright for her rebellious cousin, Tressa, who was still considering an elopement with a wealthy commoner; but the lady squire had more important things to do than becoming the new Lord of Stone Mountain's latest conquest. She also decided that - moon cycle or not - if Joren really wanted her, he'd just have to wait until _she_ was ready.

"Please, Joren, go back to your rooms before you do or say anything else you might regret." Kel had found her voice again and there was a sharp edge to it now. "You're exhausted and you've had way too much wine to drink tonight. You really should be asleep already so that you can start to recover from your Ordeal."

Once he saw that Kel wouldn't accept the ribbon from him, Joren shoved it back into his pocket. "You sound just like my mother," he grumbled. "Everyone wants me to rest, but I don't want to be asleep right now. You're leaving tomorrow. I love you and tonight I want to be with you - only you and no one else. Doesn't that count for _something_?"

Kel felt slightly flattered by Joren's latest declaration, but it still didn't change anything. She sighed wearily and said, "Perhaps it will - some other time. Until then, you'll just have to ... to wait. Now is not a good time for ... for either of us. Trust me, Joren, your mother would agree with me."

"Ah! I almost forgot ... my mother hopes that you will visit her - I mean, _us_ - while you are in Persopolis." Swaying slightly, Joren took a step toward Kel, but then he stopped and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he pulled his mother's note out of his pocket and placed it on the lady squire's desk. "Here are the directions to her villa. She'd love to show you her garden."

"Thank you," she nodded and put her hand on the door latch, "Please tell Lady Virryn that I shall look forward to seeing the olive trees and her flowers and vegetables very much." Then Kel frowned when she saw that Joren didn't look as though he intended to leave her room willingly.

He reached over and grabbed her wrist to prevent her from opening the door. "I really mean what I say, Kel. Why won't you let me be with you?"

"I really mean what I say, too, Joren," she said through clenched teeth as she wrenched her hand away from him. "I'll be happy to talk to you at another time - when the wine isn't the one doing most of the talking. But for now, I will not allow you distract me any longer. I'll let you know when I'm ready - that is, _if_ that day ever comes."

"You seemed ready enough just a moment ago," Joren practically whined at her and then, shaking his head, he said, "I just don't understand this."

Now her face was Yamani calm and she fought to keep her emotions under control. Taking a chance that Joren might not be sober enough to comprehend her fully, Kel decided that it was time to let him in on the truth of her condition. She was willing to risk complete embarrassment in the hope that he would stop pestering her and leave her room.

"Joren, do you understand _anything_ about female moon cycles?" Her voice was level and cold.

Now it was Joren's turn to blink. Of course he knew about women's monthly bleeding. After his father initiated him into the wonderful world of women, Joren spent a lot of time at 'Lady Loelle's' high-class brothel. He'd wanted to learn how to be a good lover so he asked a lot of questions. One of the 'ladies' there thought that his youthful curiosity was quite amusing, so she spent as much time teaching the handsome lad about the mysteries of the female anatomy - including what happened every month - as she did teaching him how to please a woman in bed. The color drained from Joren's face when he finally realized what Kel was telling him without actually saying it.

"Mithros, Kel!" His voice was almost a whisper. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I wouldn't have ... I didn't mean to ... I'm sorry, Kel. Really, _really_ sorry."

"I'm sure you are," Kel said, keeping her gaze steady. "But we'll have to talk about the rest of it later, Joren. It's time for us to go now, so I hope you're sober enough to make it back to wherever it is that you're staying tonight - without me."

Joren was far from being sober, but he understood that he'd made a complete arse of himself. And even though he knew he could blame his bad behavior on having had too much wine, he still felt like an idiot. He only hoped that Kel would allow him to make amends for his drunken foolishness. The new knight finally succumbed to his long, exhausting day and he swayed again when he closed his tired eyes, trying to think of what to do next. Now he really didn't feel so well.

As soon as she noticed Joren's greenish complexion, Kel swore and ran across her room to retrieve the portable wash basin from her dressing area. She barely made it back in time to place the basin on the floor in front Joren as his stomach rejected its contents. Then she waited until he seemed to be finished vomiting before handing him a drying cloth. Breathing through her mouth so that she wouldn't gag at the smell, she calmly took the half-full basin into the privy to empty it. Cleaning up such messes didn't faze her because of the time she'd spent as a foster parent to the baby griffin.

Now that this had become one of the worse nights of her life, Kel didn't say anything when she helped Joren get up off the floor. He didn't resist her when she forced him to lie down on her bed. And neither of them spoke at all when she pulled a light blanket over him and pressed a damp washcloth onto his forehead. Only when she was leaving her room did Kel turn and address the half-asleep Joren.

"Stay here and sleep off some of that wine," her voice was calm, but firm - like a mother's soft command, "I'll find Spencer or somebody to take you back to your rooms after the ball. There is a basin down by the side of the bed if you ... if you need it again. Rest easy, Joren." Then Kel left her room and hurried back to the banquet hall.

* * *

In the Divine Realms, the Great Goddess relaxed on her throne and sighed in relief. She had hated to cause the female warrior so much pain and inconvenience, but she truly had the girl's best interests in mind. The Goddess' newest 'acquisition' had come very close to causing a complete disaster with his drunken behavior. As it was, there would be additional unpleasant consequences for the young knight's overindulgence in the fruit of the vine, but the Goddess knew that some mortals needed to learn their lessons the hard way.

"_That_ was brilliant!" exclaimed the Trickster god, applauding the Goddess' triumph as he popped in and walked toward her dais. "Pulling the girl's moon cycle forward by two days was a stroke of genius! She'll probably never blame _you_, though. Most mortals immediately point their fingers at the Graveyard Hag or Sakuyo or even me when their moon cycle causes them that much grief. Well done, sister dear!"

The Great Goddess turned her cool gaze toward the Trickster and said, "It'll be enough for now. Besides, I _had_ to do something quickly - the more wine that fool of a boy drank, the more his thoughts became fixed on having his way with the girl regardless of her feelings about it. Look at the pitiful mess he's made already! He'd have ruined everything if I hadn't put such an insurmountable obstacle in his way."

"Don't you believe that the female warrior could have fended off the male by herself? I bet she'd have had very little difficulty defeating him." he asked slyly, knowing full well that if the girl hadn't been indisposed by her early moon cycle, some of his own plans also might have been messed up.

The Goddess sighed and answered wearily, "I wish I could say yes, but it was a very close call. Even though she had every _intention_ of resisting his advances, the girl was beginning to give way to the young knight's persistence. Like his sire before him, he's quite skilled in the art of physical seduction; unfortunately, the boy doesn't seem to understand that romantic courtship is quite different. At this point in time, the only redeeming quality he possesses is that he truly loves the lady warrior."

"Well, he's certainly in no disposition to make any more advances tonight," the Trickster said with a wry smile. "What do you think the girl will do when she returns? I'm surprised she didn't toss him out of her room when he tossed up his supper."

"Ah, well, she truly loves him, too," The Goddess replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. "But he'll never win her heart until he wins her respect. Honestly, after his performance tonight, it will take a while for him to reverse the damage he's caused. He's very lucky that she possesses the soul of a compassionate protector. Despite his clumsy proposals, she still felt compelled to care for him when he became ill. And look at the way she's always cared for the animals that no one else wants. Or the way she defends other mortals when they can't or won't stand up for themselves."

"Hmm ... that's quite true." Stroking his neatly trimmed goatee, the Trickster commented, "One would think that the boy would show his gratitude for _all_ the ways she's assisted him through the years. In fact, he wouldn't even be here if it weren't for her."

"You see? This is why I so rarely seek devotion from males. They're such an ungrateful lot and they believe themselves to be entitled to far more than they deserve!" The Goddess sounded very annoyed. Then she raised a perfect eyebrow and asked the Trickster, "Why are _you_ suddenly so interested in these two mortals, anyway,_ brother dear_?"

"Oh, no reason in particular," he lied, "I only thought that your trick was a good one and I sought to compliment you. That's all." And then he vanished as quickly as he had appeared.

The Goddess was not fooled; she knew that her tricky sibling was up to some sort of mischief. Unfortunately, she had neither the time nor the inclination to force any answers out of him. Many of her faithful followers had requested her assistance, especially in the flooded areas of the Eastern Lands, and she turned her divine attention to them now. Once the new young lord learned from his mistakes, the Goddess would allow him success with the lady warrior who'd captured his heart. For now, he'd have to wait and muddle through on his own.

* * *

"Where have you been?" Neal whispered at Kel at as he glided past her with a full tray of assorted miniature cakes, "Master Oakbridge nearly had a fit when he found out he was short one squire!" He clearly was mimicking her earlier statement to him.

Kel glared briefly at her green-eyed friend as she walked around the edge of the ballroom, offering mulled cider and chilled fruit juice to the guests who were coming off of the ballroom floor after finishing one of the more lively dances of the evening. Her store of good will was dangerously close to being depleted and Neal's flippant comment irritated her. Still, it was good to see her recently-knighted friends, especially the newly-betrothed ones, enjoying themselves and she tried not to let her bad mood show.

Earlier that evening, when several families announced betrothals, Kel had recognized several names, including: Cleon of Kennan and Ermelian of Aminar, Zahir ibn Alhaz and Fatima al Jumah, and Garth of Legann and Cordelia of Cavall. Of course, there was no need to re-announce the betrothal of Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami, but everyone had toasted to their health anyway. Kel felt unreasonably angry when she remembered just how many toasts there had been that night and how they had affected the person who now was sleeping on her bed.

When Raoul was ready to leave the ball, he gave Kel their special signal and she made sure that her tray was covered with full cups of beverages. The big knight was looking forward to finishing a very good book when he got back to his rooms. He did not see Thayet whisper to Buri, nor did he see his K'miri friend walking behind him until she hooked her arm through his and pulled him away from his target.

"Not _this_ time, my anti-social friend," Buri grinned at Raoul's surprised expression as she expertly steered him away from Kel and her full tray. "We've been watching you and Thayet told me to inform you that it's time for you to stop corrupting your squire with your little escape routines. Teaching her to be sneaky like that just isn't right. Besides, it won't kill you to stay until the midnight bell. Third Company won't be riding out until the afternoon - and neither will the Riders. If you agree to behave, perhaps ... _perhap_s, I'll tuck you in tonight." Then Buri gave Raoul a sidelong glance that told him there might be a bright side to this 'social torture' after all.

When her knight-master didn't come close enough for her to crash into him, Kel became confused. She understood immediately when Buri winked at her as she led Raoul toward the dais where the queen sat, barely containing her laughter. It was as she had feared - the game was over - Queen Thayet and Buri were aware of their little ruse to escape social functions and now Raoul was caught. She almost felt sorry for the big man.

Since it was obvious that neither she nor her knight-master would be leaving the ballroom any time soon, Kel walked over to a group of her fellow squires and listened to them telling their stories. Once again, she tried not to roll her eyes when Owen lamented his future as a palace squire or as squire to Sir Myles of Olau. Merric and Faleron told Owen to stop whining and then they all argued over minor details of things they'd seen or done while on the Progress. Kel's head began to throb with pain now, too.

"Sometimes, I'll bet you really wish you were a male." Neal quietly commented to her when he finally joined their little group. "Do you need for me to make you some tea? My knight-mistress taught me how to mix an extra-special blend for times like this."

"Times like what?" Kel feigned ignorance and casually repositioned her tray.

"Kel, I may only be a healer-in-training," Neal sounded like a patronizing older brother, "But I have sisters and I underst--"

"Alright, alright, you can make some tea for me." Kel winced as she felt another cramp. Then she leaned in close to her friend's ear and whispered. "And no, I don't wish I was a male, but this ... condition ... is severely untimely this time, so I will accept your special brew with deep gratitude, especially since I've already packed my own supplies for tomorrow's journey. Still, _Nealan_, I think it's rude for you to 'examine' people without their permission. Does your father - or the Lioness, for that matter - know that you do this?

Neal didn't answer her because he was slapping Owen's hand away from his tray as the pudgy squire tried to steal a cake from it. The other squires snickered at Owen's sad expression and then they all disbursed when Master Oakbridge glared at them from across the room. They all knew they should have been circulating throughout the ballroom instead of chatting among themselves for such a long time.

"Neal, I may need your help with something else after we're done here," Kel whispered to him again as they headed in the same direction with their full trays. "It's ... it's Joren. He, um, got sick ... in my room and now he's asleep there. It's a long story and I promise I'll tell you about it later, but not now. If ... if I can't find his manservant, will you help me move him to his room? I don't think I should try to do this by myself."

It took a moment for Neal to close his mouth and lower his eyebrows. Kel's statements and her request had rendered him speechless. All he could manage was a quick nod. She thanked him and then walked in a different direction when she heard someone nearby wishing he had a cool drink. Now Neal had even more reasons to wish for the ball to end quickly and he could hardly wait to hear what Kel would say.

* * *

Joren's mother, Lady Virryn, and her brother, Baron Lars, had returned to Marbleton House for the evening, but his manservant, Spencer, had remained at the palace to reoccupy the new knight's former squire rooms for the night. After Raoul dismissed Kel from her squire duties, she sent a message to Spencer and the elderly servant sent a reply that he would have everything ready when she arrived with his master. Squires and pages often escorted inebriated knights and other guests of the palace back to their rooms after the conclusion of social events. Even so, Kel wrapped Joren in one of her hooded cloaks so that no one would recognize him in the passageways.

"So ... too many toasts, huh, Joren?" Neal said. The healer-in-training had sent a bit of his Gift into Joren's throbbing head so that it wouldn't be so difficult for him to walk.

"That's _Lord_ Joren to you, Queenscove," His voice sounded very weary and cross. "You should know - _you_ were the one pouring the refills into my goblet."

"Ah, yes, _my lord_," Neal said with considerable sarcasm, "But _you_ were the one who kept demanding more wine."

Kel glared at Neal as they made their way to the squires' wing. They'd been so hungry after the ball that they decided to wait until after they had eaten their late supper to return to her rooms to get the groggy Joren. Now that Neal had a full belly, his sharp wit had resurfaced and he seemed intent on teasing the still-tipsy knight all the way back to his old room. Although Kel didn't feel sorry for new knight at all, she had very little patience for the older squire's antics, too.

"What's next, _my lord_?" Neal continued, "Are you going to blame _me _for the loss of your meal, too?"

"No, but if I could, I'd toss some of it back onto your shoes," Joren said.

When they reached Joren's old room, Spencer was waiting there for them and he already had turned back the covers on his master's bed. The two squires followed the manservant into the warm room and deposited Joren on the end of his bed. Kel looked away while Neal and Spencer helped Joren out of his formal clothes and into a nightshirt. Despite Neal's assistance, Kel knew it might take a while for him and Joren to become friendly toward one another.

"Here we go, my lord" said Spencer as he helped Neal and Kel position the semi-conscious Joren into his bed. "You'll feel better after a good, long rest." And he covered his master with a crisp sheet and thick blankets.

"Kel, wait," Joren half-opened his eyes and reached out from under the covers to grasp Kel's wrist. "It would have been _rude_ for me not to drink to all those toasts, you know." He attempted to smile, but he was too tired.

Looking down at him with her Yamani mask firmly in place, she said, "And may the Goddess forbid that you should ever be rude, _Lord Joren_." Kel felt strange using his new title, but she figured it would be best for her to get accustomed to it because that's who he had become.

"Mithros, Kel! I ... I didn't think tonight would turn out like _this_," Joren's anguished voice pierced her heart. "You are the love of my life and the bane of my existence. I can hold you, but not have you. I can kiss you, but not keep you. I'm so sorry about--"

"It's alright," Kel interrupted Joren before he could enlighten Neal and Spencer any more than he already had done. "Just ... get some rest. We'll see you in Persopolis." She bent over and kissed his hand before she gently removed his fingers from around her wrist. Then she walked out through the open doorway without looking back.

* * *

**A/N: I had a great Mother's Day - my family did exactly what I wanted them to do. My awesome husband gave me breakfast in bed and a vase full of beautiful roses. ^_^ He and our kids took me out to lunch after church and then we went to see the new 'Star Trek' movie. It's was great! When we got home, they all left me alone so that I could finish this chapter. Don't you just love them? ;-) I certainly do! Please review my work. Thanks! :D**


	53. No Longer Enemies

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: This is another long transition chapter, so there's no real fluff here. Sorry about that! (No, not really.) There are, however several heaping servings of character development - naturally! ;D Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_"Mithros, Kel! I ... I didn't think tonight would turn out like _this_," Joren's anguished voice pierced her heart. "You are the love of my life and the bane of my existence. I can hold you, but not have you. I can kiss you, but not keep you. I'm so sorry about--"_

_"It's alright," Kel interrupted Joren before he could enlighten Neal and Spencer any more than he already had done. "Just ... get some rest. We'll see you in Persopolis." She bent over and kissed his hand before she gently removed his fingers from around her wrist. Then she walked out through the open doorway without looking back. _

* * *

**No Longer Enemies**

Kel sat in her chair by the hearth and sipped the hot, bitter tea that Neal had brewed for her. Thanking the Goddess, she closed her eyes in relief as she felt her aches and pains melt away. Her emerald-eyed friend had walked her to her rooms after they left Joren's room and he was waiting for her to begin explaining things to him. To his credit, Neal displayed an unusual amount of patience and didn't say a word until Kel had finished the entire cup of the special, healing brew.

"Feeling any better?" asked the healer-in-training. "The Lioness swears by this particular mix. I made a packet of it for you take with you."

"I do feel better, and thank you, Neal - for everything," Kel nodded, "You must let your knight-mistress know that I appreciate her giving you such good training. I think you'll be an excellent healer someday."

Neal chuckled and walked over to Kel's bookshelf to look at her collection of Yamani porcelain cats. All of their little paws were lifted in a feline salute and they brought a smile to his face as always. It had been a while since he'd visited her rooms and he realized just how much he missed seeing his best friend on a daily basis while they both were off with the knights they served. Then he turned to face Kel and hoped he finally would get some answers from her.

"So ... you and Joren, huh?" Neal asked, "Will you _please_ tell me what's been going on right under my nose all this time?"

Setting down the tea cup, Kel put her hands in her lap before she answered, "I couldn't have dragged Joren back to his room without your help, so I'll honor my promise to tell you everything you want to know. But you must promise me not to tell anybody - not one word - I really mean it, Neal! I don't think I can bear to be the topic of any more gossip and neither can Joren or his family. Now, what do you want to know first?"

Neal sat down in the chair opposite Kel and leaned forward to ask, "How long? How long have you ... have you known that you ... _liked_ him?"

Kel took a deep breath before she began, "Three Midwinters ago, Joren wrote a ... a poem to me ... and ... and he kissed me. I think that's when I actually started to think about him ... differently."

"_Three years_?" Neal's eyebrows shot up in amazement. "And he wrote you a _poem_? That's rather amusing, Kel, because I thought that Stone Mountain could barely read or write. I'd _never _have guessed that he had such poetic leanings."

The corners of Kel's mouth lifted into the tiniest of grins as she quietly said, "Yes, well, he _is_ full of surprises."

"Surprises?" Now Neal stood up and started pacing while he talked. "Kel, I nearly got all choked up when Joren said - and I quote - '_You are the love of my life and the bane of my existence. I can hold you, but not have you. I can kiss you, but not keep you._' My father told me that he thought Joren had changed, but ... Mithros! This is the same person who did everything he could to make your life miserable when we were pages. This is the same person who almost got you killed!"

Kel shook her head and said. "That was a while ago, Neal. I know why Joren did what he did and I forgave him. He's truly changed since then. Like I said before, it's very complicated and many things have ... gone awry along the way, but ... but I think I really do love him now."

Neal stopped pacing and smiled ruefully at Kel, saying, "That much is obvious to me. I don't why, but there is no doubt in my mind about that. What I can't understand is this: if Joren first kissed you three years ago, how could he turn around and join in on Vinson's scheme to get rid of you? That just doesn't make any sense, Kel!"

"That ..._wasn't_ the first time Joren kissed me," she admitted sheepishly. After Joren's drowsy declaration of love and longing for her, Kel figured that there was no point in trying to keep the timing of his love for her a secret anymore. "He kissed me while we danced at my sister's wedding - Cleon was there, too, but ... but he didn't see what happened. After that, Joren convinced himself that if I would quit trying to become a knight and became a regular lady instead, then he'd be able to court me properly. He really, really wanted me to leave."

"And let me guess - he thought that kidnapping your maid would do the trick?" Neal asked sarcastically. "Mithros, Kel! That ... that's either the craziest thing I've ever heard - or the silliest. How did you manage to forgive him after all of that?"

"Joren and I have spent a lot of time together - more than you know and certainly more than I've ever told you before," Kel admitted. "We've been exchanging letters with each other ever since the trial - when Lord Wyldon gave Joren several writing assignments for me to check - and I suppose that we ... well, we've grown closer as a result."

Then, beginning with the way she had tutored Joren when they were pages and ending with Joren's getting sick in her room, Kel spent the next half hour telling the older squire about her odd relationship with the new Lord of Stone Mountain. Neal was very quiet and attentive for a change and she didn't know if her friend's uncharacteristic silence was because of the late hour or because it all sounded so ridiculous to him.

Knowing that Neal was smart enough to figure out many details on his own, Kel didn't tell her friend about _all_ of the kissing that she and Joren had done. Nevertheless, when she finished talking, Kel felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders. It was good to unburden her mind of so many secrets, but then she realized that she hadn't even told her mother or her knight-master half of the things she'd just told her best friend.

Neal ran his fingers through his hair several times as he pondered Kel's tale. She was right - her relationship with Joren _was_ complicated. Now he understood why she had kept it to herself for so long and hadn't ever fully explained it to him before. Now he also understood why the blond squire had argued so fiercely with his bullying father - Joren obviously loved Kel more than he'd ever let anyone know, including Kel. For once in his life, Nealan of Queenscove was speechless.

"Neal? Don't you have anything to say?" Kel asked after a long silence.

He nodded and said, "I ... I'm not really sure where to begin. You just told me that Joren actually proposed to you tonight and that you turned him down. Tell me this, Kel, if you already had your shield, would you have ... _accepted_ Joren's marriage proposal?"

Kel blinked. Of all the things Neal could have asked her, she hadn't expected that. Actually, she hadn't had time to give Joren's proposal such serious consideration. She'd always said that she'd probably think about such things _after _she became a knight. Searching her mind and her heart now only caused her more confusion, so she looked at her friend and shrugged.

"I ... I don't know," Kel answered honestly. "But I do know that Joren was very drunk and I doubt he'll remember everything he said or did tonight. I'm ... afraid that his proposal might just have been the wine doing all of the talking. Maybe ... _maybe_ I might've said yes, but I probably wouldn't have agreed to marry him right away. Look at how much has changed between Joren and me in the past two years. Who knows what we'll be like in two more years?"

"You sound just like my father," Neal said, recalling his earlier conversation with Duke Baird.

This made Kel laugh. "First, Joren tells me that I sound like his mother and now you say that I sound like your father. Maybe I'm wiser than either of you think."

"Well, you know what they say about great minds thinking alike and all," Neal grinned back at her, "I suppose I'll just have to get used to seeing you together with _Lord _Joren. Mithros, Kel! I don't know I can be friends with the man, but if he's that important to you, then I'll try my best to find _something_ about him to like."

"Thanks, Neal," Kel's smile looked almost sad as she said, "But I really don't think you'll be seeing us together all that often. Joren has so many things he must do now that he's Lord of Stone Mountain and ... well, I'm still a squire. I'll be cleaning Lord Raoul's armor while he'll be attending meetings of the king's council. Joren's time doesn't belong to him any more than my time belongs to me. We ... we'll just have to wait and see what happens."

Neal shook his head, "That's you, Kel. Even after all of this, you're still thinking about what's practical. You aren't a bit romantic, are you?"

"Humph! I'll bet that's what Joren and the rest of you think, too," Kel said bitterly, "Maybe I _would_ like for someone to court me properly. And even though it's not necessary, maybe someone _should_ ask my father for a formal betrothal agreement - someday. I'm going to be a knight, just like the rest of you, but I'll also be a _lady_ knight. There's a difference, you know."

"Of course I know there's a difference!" Neal's voice almost squeaked. "Remember who my knight-_mistress_ is? Goddess, do I know there's a difference!" And he shook his head again in disbelief at her comment.

Now Neal knew that he had hit upon a sore spot with Kel. He wondered if he had misjudged his long-time friend in more ways than he'd previously realized. He knew that she was more like a 'regular' female than even _she_ liked to admit. Obviously, Kel liked whatever poetry and letters Joren had written to her. He knew that she also liked the lovely gowns Lalasa sewed for her. And her eyes had sparkled when she spoke of the pretty jewelry Joren and his mother had given her. Unfortunately, Neal would have to ponder all of these things later, because he could see that Kel was having difficulty keeping her tired eyes open.

The lanky squire walked over to the door and turned to say, "Well, my friend, I think we've had enough excitement for one night and it's well past the hour for all of us to be asleep. If you drink some more of that tea right when you wake up, you should feel much better than you did today. Dom told me that you're not leaving until tomorrow afternoon, so I hope to see you before you take off."

Kel only yawned and nodded as Neal left her room, closing the door behind him. It was very late and she knew she'd have to get up early because of all the tasks she had to do in the morning. When her head hit the pillow, though, her entire body stiffened with a peculiar jolt of awareness. Joren's head had rested on that same place earlier that evening and the cool linen pillowcase still smelled like a mixture of his unique scent mixed with the scent of the soap he used. Startled by the way her body reacted to his lingering scent, Kel began to turn the pillow over so that she wouldn't think of such intimacy. Then she changed her mind, breathed deeply and dreamt happy dreams of Joren all night long.

* * *

Peeking through eyelids that felt like gritty and stiff, the new Lord of Stone Mountain saw that candlelight flickered against the pale bluish-purple hue of early evening. Where was he? He thought groggily. How long had he slept? And why did he feel as though he'd been pounded by giants? Holding in a groan with tightened lips, he twisted his body to the side and eased his legs out from under the bedcovers. Then Joren remembered that he was on his bed in his old room in the squires' wing and he sat up and threw off his covers.

"I wouldn't move so quickly if I was you," said a familiar, drawling voice from over near the warm hearth.

"Well, you're not me," Joren croaked as he glared at his visitor, "Queenscove! How did you get in here? Where is Spencer?" He winced at the sudden pain in his head.

"It's almost time for supper, so I asked him to go down to the kitchens and get us something to eat," Neal answered, "When he told me that you were beginning to stir a bit more than usual, I knew you'd be awake soon enough - and that you'd be hungry. He should be back any moment now with a tray."

"Why are _you_ here?" Joren asked, almost sounding rude. "Don't you have someplace else to be? Isn't there a party or a banquet tonight?"

Neal waved his hand dismissively, "Oh, no, that's all finished. Everyone is resting up and getting ready for the Progress to resume next week."

"Kel!" Joren exclaimed and tried to stand up. His legs felt rubbery and he quickly sat down again. "Is she ... has the Own already departed?"

"Two days ago," Neal answered, watching the groggy man's shoulders sag at the news. "They're probably already past Irontown and patrolling down along the Great Road South by now. You certainly picked an interesting time to sleep away the days."

Then Joren looked up and his eyes widened in disbelief, "Wait ..._two days ago_? Mithros! I've been asleep for two whole days? What happened?"

Neal's emerald-eyed gaze was steady as he replied, "Quite a bit in that short amount of time. Let's see ... Third Company of the King's Own, as well as two Rider groups rode out to scout ahead of the Progress - and Kel went along with them. Lord Wyldon resigned his post as palace training master. Padraig haMinch has agreed to accept the position. And your wounds seemed to have healed nicely - I even removed your stitches this morning while you slept. You didn't move, so you must not have felt a thing."

"Lord Wyldon _resigned_?" Joren's eyes flew wide open in shock.

Neal nodded, "And Kel convinced the Stump to take on Owen of Jesslaw as his squire. Oh, but don't tell Owen that; I think it's supposed to be a secret."

Joren scratched his head and asked, "Why would Lord Wyldon do such a thing?"

"What? Resign or agree to take on that scrappy Jesslaw as his squire?" Neal joked, but then he became serious and said, "Lord Wyldon told King Jonathan that it was time for someone with a fresh outlook to step in and train the next generation of knights. He said that between your trial last year and Vinson's failure this year, he no longer felt fit for the position of training master and then he recommended Sir Padraig haMinch to take his place. They're making all the arrangements for the changeover now, before everyone departs on the Progress again."

There was nothing that Joren could say. He felt horrible, especially knowing that his own actions and their aftermath had contributed to such an awful turn of events. His chest felt tight and his eyes stung at the thought of Lord Wyldon resigning partly because of him. Joren turned away so that Neal wouldn't see the anguish displayed on his face.

"So ... Lord Wyldon is ... still here?" Joren wanted to know. Perhaps he'd be able to talk to the honorable man who had given him, the not-so-honorable heir to Stone Mountain, numerous 'second' chances to do the right things. Joren truly wanted to apologize; he felt that he owed his old training master that and so much more.

"Oh, yes, he's still here at the palace," Neal nodded. "He'll probably go north, back to Cavall, as soon as the passes are open again. It's been snowing heavily every day, though, so I guess that means you won't be heading back to Stone Mountain any time soon, either."

"Blast it all!" Joren exclaimed angrily and hit his fists on the mattress. "How could I have slept through all of this?"

Neal calmly replied, " Well ... between your Ordeal and your ... um, celebratory drinking, it appears as though your body decided it had had enough. When Kel and I brought you to your room, you only said a few things and then you fell into a deep, healing sleep. Obviously, your body needed the long rest. In fact, I'll make you some tea now that will help you feel better faster." And he walked over to hearth to place a kettle of water over the fire.

"You never answered my question," Joren turned and watched the squire, and narrowing his eyes at him suspiciously. "Why are _you _here?"

Neal came back over to Joren, poured a cup of cool water from the pitcher on the table and held it out to him. "When your mother found out that you were still asleep here at the palace, she wanted to hire a healer to see to your care, but my father wouldn't hear of it. He thought it would be good training for _me_ to attend to you as your personal and _temporary_ healer. Actually, he said I was getting underfoot at the infirmary and that I needed something to keep me busy until the Progress leaves. Besides, it was the least I could do to put my best friend's mind at ease - you didn't even stir when Kel came by to see you before she left. Watching over you has been quite easy."

Joren accepted the cup of water and gulped it down. Neal refilled the cup and watched the blond knight drink much slower as he gazed back at the tall squire who happened to be three years older than him. Neither man broke eye contact while Neal's words sunk in.

"You ... you _know_, don't you?" Joren asked quietly after he finished his water.

Neal slowly nodded, "Full disclosure was the 'price' of my assistance ... _and_ my silence."

"She ... she told you ... _everything_?" Joren looked skeptical.

"Probably not every little detail - our Kel isn't exactly the kiss-and-tell type, you know," Neal admitted, "But she told me enough. And it just so happens that _you_ sometimes talk in your sleep." Then he got up and poured hot water from the kettle into a teacup full of dried herbs and crushed flowers and brought it over to Joren.

Joren closed his eyes and leaned back against his pillows. He wasn't sure that he liked the idea of Neal knowing so much about his relationship with Kel. He certainly didn't like the fact that the healer-in-training was here in his room and had overheard his dream-talk. From what his still-fuzzy mind could recall, Joren knew that most of his dreams had been about Kel.

"Why aren't you with your knight-mast- ... er, mistress, anyway?" Joren asked, without opening his eyes. "Did she grow tired of your meddling ways and return you to palace duty?"

"Not exactly," Neal said with a grin, "Sir Alanna and her husband are traveling through the desert to visit with the Bazhir tribe that adopted her long ago. My knight-mistress prefers to have some ... solitary time with Baron George when they're staying together in tents; therefore, I have to travel with the Progress until we meet up again in Persopolis. I've been assisting my father in the infirmary to keep from being at Master Oakbridge's beckon call all day. Here, drink this." And he held out the mage-cooled tea to Joren.

"That's quite clever of you," Joren remarked, taking the teacup from Neal's hands. "But then again, you've always been a _clever_ one, Queenscove." He sipped the tea and then spit it back into the cup, making a face at it, "Mithros' shield! This is the worst-tasting brew I've ever had!"

"Drink it up!" Neal ordered. "I guarantee that you'll feel better in minutes."

Joren scowled over the edge of the cup as he quickly gulped down the awful tea and set aside the cup when he was done. "Ugh! You better be right, Queenscove, or else I'll throw you out of my room."

Neal tilted his head and asked, "The same way you threw your father out of your room?"

I _knew_ I saw movement at your door that night!" Joren narrowed his eyes again and said through clenched teeth, "How much did you overhear of the argument I had with my father?"

"A fair amount," Neal answered, keeping his gaze steady. "I heard most of your father's words loud and clear. I even heard him ... hit you and knock you to the floor. I ... I also heard the way you ... defended Kel from your father's curses and name-calling. That's how I knew to ask her about what was going on between you two. Remember, I'd already seen you walking back from town earlier that night and--"

Spencer came in at that moment, carrying a tray covered with food from the kitchens. He bowed toward Joren and Neal and then set up the small table so that both of them could eat their supper of sliced ham, boiled potatoes in gravy, fried apples and warm rolls. The gray-haired servant poured cups of juice and then gestured for the two men to come and eat.

"I'm very pleased to see that you're awake and about, milord," Spencer said to Joren. "I'll send word to Lady Virryn right away and make the arrangements to transport you and your things out to Marbleton House as soon as possible." Then he turned to Neal and added, "That is, if you think it'll be alright with Duke Baird, Squire Neal."

"Your master's wounds are healing quite nicely," Neal said to Spencer as he settled into his seat at the table, "I'm certain that if Lord Joren can find his way to the infirmary in the morning, my father will clear him to leave the palace. And as long as he takes a few days off from any sort of strenuous training, I see no reason for him to stay under the healers' care any longer."

As Joren walked slowly from his bed to the table, Spencer hovered around him like a mother hen. Finally, the starving knight glared at his servant in order to get him to stop fussing and move away. The food smelled so delicious that Joren had to force himself to eat only a little bit at a time. He did not wish for his stomach to reject his first meal in two days if he ate it too fast. When Spencer left the room to get fruit and some more bread, Neal began to speak again.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked. "The tea should have worked its magic by now."

Joren wanted to say something snappish at his supper guest, but he didn't follow that impulse because he really did feel better. "Yes, and thank you," he said politely. "My head isn't pounding anymore and my musles feel looser now."

"Then may I offer you some advice?" Neal asked, almost too casually.

"Do I have much of a choice?" Joren shrugged, mimicking the casual tone.

Neal shook his head slowly and said, "Kel loves you, you know, even if you don't deserve it. And I think you'd be wise to understand that you now possess something that many others - including myself - can only envy. If you ever hurt her again, you'll have many, _many_ challenges to answer. And no amount of healing or tea will be able to keep away the pain."

"Are you threatening me, Queenscove?" Joren asked. "That's almost funny, because I haven't tried to hurt Kel in a long time. I know that Cleon of Kennan was one of the many 'others' you mentioned. In fact, he was the first person to help me see Kel as the true lady she could become someday. Having said all that, I'll have you know that I've _never_ misled Kel the way Kennan did - asking to court her when he knew all along that he'd have to marry that heiress of his. No one else but Kel has a claim on my affections - no one!"

Neal was quiet for a moment and he pressed his lips into a thin line. Now that he knew much more about Joren, it was easier for the squire to see why Kel's feelings were in such a turmoil over him. Sometimes the blond knight behaved so arrogantly that it was maddening to be around him, but sometimes he was insightful and his comments had merit - like now. Joren had made a very good point and they both knew it. It was difficult for Neal to defend his redheaded friend's actions, so he didn't even try.

"Just ... treat Kel right," Neal muttered and pushed away his almost empty plate, "Or else suffer the consequences of your folly."

"Are you acting as Kel's _father_ now?" Joren snorted.

Neal shrugged, "No, but if you're truly serious about pursuing Keladry, then perhaps you ought to think about having a chat with Baron Piers of Mindelan. For all her fighting skills and such, our lady squire really is more of a traditionalist than you might imagine. You should consider writing more poetry and more letters to her. Send her nice gifts, take her riding on that ornery beast of hers and go on picnics when the weather gets nice again. At the very least, you should _attempt_ to court Kel - the way you'd court one of the 'regular' ladies - for a while before you propose to her again."

"Wait just a moment! What right do you have to lecture me, _squire_?" Joren asked indignantly, emphasizing his higher rank for the first time.

"Perhaps none, _my lord_," Neal replied with just as much indignation. "But the other night, after you so _impressively_ puked up your wine in her room, I shielded you from certain embarrassment by helping Kel move you here once most palace guests had retired to their rooms. And I plan to be available to offer my assistance to Kel whenever she asks. Remember, I was Kel's _only_ friend long before you and your cronies stopped trying to force her to leave."

Joren winced again at Neal's words, but his voice was hard as he said, "Don't you think I know how much of a mess I made the other night? I can't change what happened and I wouldn't be surprised if Kel is furious at me. I can't even talk to her right now to _try_ to make amends. Must I be on guard against your wrath, as well as the wrath of others, too?"

"Lower your hackles, sir," Neal shook his head again and said, "I was only trying to offer you some _friendly_ advice. I just want you to ... to be good to our Kel because ... well, she's very special and I ... I--"

"You keep saying '_our _Kel,' Queenscove," Joren interrupted. "Are you in ... in love with her, too, then?"

"Oh, no!" Neal replied quickly, "She and I ... we resolved that issue a long time ago. But ... Kel truly is my best friend - more like a sister to me than my own blood-sisters. In fact, she's exactly the same age as one of my younger sisters, Mariel."

Joren was about to ask another question, but Spencer returned to the room, carrying a basket filled with more rolls and some apples and pears. Neal looked at Joren and shrugged his shoulders before pushing away from the table and getting to his feet. Then he shouldered his leather healer's kit bag, adjusted his tunic, and bowed toward the lord and new knight.

"Lord Joren, if I may suggest," Neal spoke in a formal tone of voice, "It would be best for us to continue our discussion some other time. I realize that you'd probably prefer to go out and about, but as your healer, I recommend that you stay in and rest tonight. Try not to overdo things. Duke Baird will see you in the morning and he'll determine whether or not you are fit for duty. Then, of course, you may consult your own healer at your earlier convenience."

Joren stared at Neal for a long time. Now that he was a lord, there were certain courtesies extended to him because of his elevated position. It was slightly amusing to see the older squire adhering to the social rules so smoothly in front of Joren's manservant. The corner of the knight's mouth twitched in a half-smile before he answered.

"Very well, Squire Neal," he said graciously, "I think your advice - _all _of it - is sound and I appreciate your candor. I can't begin to thank you enough for your services as my temporary healer, so I'm glad that you were able to dine with me tonight. Good evening to you and I look forward to our next meeting." Then bowed his head toward Neal to dismiss him and Spencer ushered the squire out of the room.

Once Neal was back inside of his room across the hallway, he leaned on the closed door and let out a deep sigh of relief. Considering the many awful ways his conversation with Joren could have turned out, he realized that they'd actually done very well. He felt that he and Joren no longer were enemies and that they'd made a decent start, even though they weren't yet friends. Neal only hoped that Kel would be satisfied with his behavior toward the man she loved.

* * *

The next morning, after Duke Baird examined Joren and told him that he was free to leave palace infirmary care, the new knight went straight to Lord Wyldon's private chambers. The former training master seemed quite surprised when he answered the door and found Joren there. He ushered the young man inside and closed the door, offering him a cup of cider and a seat by the hearth. Joren was surprised by Lord Wyldon's cordiality toward him and he accepted the cup as they settled into the simple, but comfortable chairs that Wyldon liked so much.

"It's good to see you up and about, Joren," Wyldon began, "I'd heard that your Ordeal got the best of you after the final banquet. Don't worry, that happens quite often. The excitement of the ceremony of knighting, as well as the social events and such, can keep a man going for a time, but when there is a quiet moment and the fatigue catches up, I've known newly-knighted men to sleep for as long as three or four days."

Joren simply nodded and stared at the knight he had admired for so long. Words were stuck in his throat and he didn't know how to say what he'd come to say. Lord Wyldon saw the look on the young man's face and took pity on him.

"I can sense that you've already heard of my resignation," Wyldon said with a small smile. "It's really for the best, I assure you."

"But, sir, how can you say such a thing?" Joren's voice sounded anguished. "I ... I apologize for any of _my_ actions which might have led to your decisions, my lord. I know I wasn't the ... the best of students during my page years, but you taught me so much. And though my trial did bring dishonor upon my family's name, you gave me a second chance. Lord Wyldon, you're the most honorable man I know. How can this be right?"

The older man placed his empty cup on the small table and looked directly at Joren. "I won't lie to you, lad, I almost called it quits last year after your trial, but I didn't want anyone else to inherit the conditions surrounding your situation. If I had known of the true extent of the Genlith boy's troubles, I may well have thrown up my hands in surrender, anyway."

"I ... I'm so sorry, my lord," Joren said quietly. "For everything."

"I said it's not entirely your fault, Joren, and I mean that," Wyldon's voice was calm, "I have other, _personal_ reasons for stepping down, too, so don't keep trying to shoulder all the blame onto yourself. You've got more than enough to worry about now, _Lord _Joren."

The pain in Joren's chest threatened to bring tears to his eyes, so he closed them for a moment and willed himself not to cry. Regardless of what Lord Wyldon had said, he felt horrible. He felt responsible. He felt ... wrong.

"Lord Wyldon ... sir ..." Joren began, "I don't know what I'm supposed to do first ... or next. I'm not ready for this ... this responsibility of being lord of my fief. You've done this sort of thing for a long time - can you ... would you please advise me?"

Wyldon rose from his chair and put another log on the fire. He watched the flames dance around in the hearth and thought about the young lord sitting there behind him. Joren was correct - he was not ready to assume all of the duties and responsibilities of his new station in life. Suddenly, the old training master remembered something important and turned to speak to his visitor.

"Joren, I'm flattered that you want my counsel and I will give it to you," he said slowly, "As you already know, your uncle, Sir Langdon, has been sitting in on all of the king's meetings with the other lords of the realm since your father's untimely death. Although no one expects _you_ to begin attending these sessions until after your period of mourning is over, it might do you good to accompany your uncle to tomorrow's Council of Nobles. Do you think you might be up for it?" Wyldon's dark eyes had a look of controlled expectation.

Joren nodded, "Yes, sir, I ... I think I am well enough to attend."

"Good!" Wyldon continued, "It's the first session of the new year, and it will be the last full meeting of the council until the Progress ends. There is vote on an important change to a particular law that is supposed to take place. Your father had been planning to block the vote until later or to defeat the measure outright, but as the _new_ Lord of Stone Mountain, you may vote in accordance with _your_ conscience."

Joren shook his head and looked sad as he said, "My lord, I remember very little of my lessons about laws and such."

Wyldon chuckled. "I believe you are very familiar with the law in question, especially because the king proposed the change immediately after your trial. It has to do with the rights of commoners who are involved in court cases to be considered as persons in their own right and not merely as servants or even property of the noble class. Duke Turomot supports the change, as do I, but several other conservatives do not. _Your_ vote, Joren - indeed, Stone Mountain's vote - just might make a difference tomorrow."

An odd prickly feeling ran down Joren's spine when he realized that Lord Wyldon was talking about the law that Kel had petitioned the king to change. It didn't surprise him to hear that his sire had intended to impede any progress on altering such a law, but he was shocked that his former training master seemed to be encouraging him to defy his father's planned actions. A smile slowly spread on young lord's face and he met Lord Wyldon's steely gaze. Joren definitely would attend the Council of Nobles session and he definitely knew which way he would vote.

* * *

**A/N: There was a question from an unsigned-in reviewer named 'Cheshire' about Lady Virryn's marriage. I've told the back-story of Joren's mother in bits and pieces in a few different chapters, but here it all is in a 'nutshell': **

**Virryn of Dunmoor originally was betrothed to Sir Langdon of Stone Mountain, who was best friend to her brother, Lars. When Langdon took his future bride home to meet his married older brother, Lord Burchard, the lecherous lord seduced the sixteen-year-old Virryn and eventually got her pregnant with Joren. Lady Cordelia, Burchard's sickly first wife and Anniseth's mother, knew about her husband's infidelity and died of a broken heart - or possibly poison. When Langdon discovered that Virryn was pregnant with Burchard's child, he refused to marry her and dissolved their contract. Burchard, who always wanted **_**male**_** heirs, found out that the baby in Virryn's womb was a boy and he married her two months after Cordelia died, without observing a proper mourning period. Lady Virryn did not have any ribbon magic at her wedding to Burchard, a follower of Mithros, because she was neither a virgin nor was the ceremony held in accordance with the practices of Goddess worship. All of these circumstances caused estrangement from the Dunmoor clan, as well as a big scandal at court, for quite a while. Tragically, Langdon never stopped loving Virryn, even though she had betrayed him - and Joren is the ever-present evidence of her betrayal. Of course, now that Burchard is dead, we shall see... **

**Anyway, thanks again for so many detailed and constructive reviews. Even though I am seriously way behind on replying to everyone, I appreciate all the reviews - so please keep writing them. Thanks! :D**


	54. In Persopolis

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: ** Ridiculously long chapter alert! ** I'm glad so many of you enjoyed the previous 'filler' chapter. It was fun trying to figure out how wrap up Joren's Ordeal and get everybody back out on the Progress in order to keep to my goal of 'paralleling' TP's original timeline. In this chapter, there are more quotes from ****Squire**** to give you a frame of reference. There's also some **fluff** in here. ;D For those of you who've been wondering, this story will continue through the timeframe of ****Lady Knight**** and go a little bit beyond. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Both Riders and Third Company were detailed to watch the front, sides, and rear of the train, as Glaisdan and First Company stayed close to the monarchs and looked noble. They were welcome to it, as far as Kel was concerned. She preferred scout detail. For one thing, no court gossips were out here, teasing her to say whether Raoul slept alone these days._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**In Persopolis**

Kel shielded her eyes from the last few rays of sunlight still shining through the clouds in the western sky. It _had_ been a very nice day, but now, as the sun began to dip lower, dark and gloomy rain clouds took over and everyone in the scouting party knew that they would get drenched before they made it back to their campsite. Kel took her wide-brimmed leather hat out of her pack and put it on her head just as she felt the first few raindrops bounce off of her nose.

The Commander of the Own had directed Third Company to set up camp in a wooded area north of the large open fields which, hopefully, would yield vast amounts of grain during the next fall harvest. Raoul sent Kel out scouting with Sergeant Domitan's squad, but everything was peaceful and calm so far. There were no bandits and no gangs of renegade Immortals to bother them, and Kel learned a lot just by watching the way Dom's soldiers constantly zigzagged through the woods, taking note of animal tracks and trails, as well as any signs of human wanderings. After becoming drenched in the rain, everyone in the scouting party looked forward to their supper of hot stew and warm bread.

"May I sit here?" a female voice asked Kel as she was eating her supper in the dining tent. "I'd heard that you were having rabbit stew tonight and I love the way your cook prepares it. Then, when I complimented the cook, he told me that _you_ were a main contributor to tonight's supper."

Kel knew she was blushing as she looked up and nodded at Buri. Normally, the lady squire would have been too modest to accept such an acknowledgement, but she felt a deep sense of pride because she had snagged several rabbits, including two very large ones, during that morning's hunt. The cook's eyes had widened when she turned her catch over to him before she went out with the scouting party and he immediately promised to make some of his well-loved stew for the evening meal.

Scooting over to make room for Buri, Kel set aside the piece of bread she'd been using to sop up her tasty stew and smiled at the commander of the Riders. She really liked the K'miri warrior woman who seemed so perfect for her knight-master. Sometimes Kel wondered why Raoul and Buri hadn't married each other ages ago, but then she always remembered that the lives they'd chosen to lead had very little room for marriage or children.

Buri leaned in close to Kel and spoke softly into her ear, "Don't tell your knight-master, but I just found out that some of my Riders are planning a rather ... _noisy_ prank for tonight. I'd rather not be on the Own's side of the camp when Raoul starts yelling at everyone to go back to sleep, so you won't be seeing me in the morning."

"I understand." Kel nodded and whispered back, "Thanks for the warning." Kel had grown accustomed to seeing the two people cuddled together in Raoul's bedroll in the mornings and she envied their collective warmth.

"Besides," Buri continued in her conspiratorial whisper, "It's never a good idea to let a man think he's got a guaranteed blanket-warmer. I like to keep him guessing, anyway." Then she winked at Kel and started eating her food.

The K'miri woman had difficulty swallowing her food because she was laughing so hard at the expression on the surprised squire's face. Kel sat there with her mouth agape until Buri nudged her and told her to finish her supper before it congealed. Clearly, the younger female hadn't heard enough stories or advice from other women to understand that she had plenty of options when it came to sharing her bedroll with a man she liked. Buri decided to correct that problem as the Progress wound its way south.

* * *

_For a week the tribes enveloped the progress, treating their guests lavishly. On the eighth day the train reached a fortress city, a granite monument that sheltered eleven springs and wells inside its walls. "Persopolis," Raoul told Kel. "The only city the Bazhir ever constructed." He shook his head with a sigh. "I don't like it."_

_"That's because you're a tent boy," Captain Flyndan, riding beside them commented in his dour way. "Me, I like the real beds in Persopolis just fine."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Kel agreed with Captain Flyndan - she liked the real beds in Persopolis, too. Although most of the nomadic Bazhir lived in tents, Persopolis' multi-level town houses were very similar to those found along Tortall's southern coast and in Tyra. Each house consisted of three 'wings' which created an enclosed courtyard and garden within it. Most of the villas also had an atrium which let in the light, but shielded the inhabitants from the wild sandstorms that scoured the desert. The king had arranged for Raoul and his officers to stay in a villa that was very close to the Bazhir palace so that he wouldn't have any excuses to miss the official social functions.

Kel was amazed to discover that there were few interior doors between the rooms of their 'assigned' dwelling. Each room was connected to the next one by a very deep, arched doorway, though usually without an actual door. She and Raoul created a tiny measure of privacy by occupying rooms in one of the side wings and then they hung a curtain in front of the doorway between their individual rooms. Even though Raoul and Buri were very discreet, there wasn't much more that the squire could do to block out the sounds of her knight-master's late-night activities. It became Kel's main goal to fall asleep before her 'neighbors' turned in for the evening.

The directions that Joren's mother had written down for the lady squire proved to be extremely useful to Kel and her friends. She even spent some of her free time shopping for a small token of appreciation to thank Lady Virryn for giving her such detailed instructions on how to get to the best dining establishments and, more importantly, the better ladies' bathhouses in the town. Once everyone was settled into their quarters, Kel and Buri, as well as the other female Riders, took advantage of their advanced party's early arrival and treated themselves to a good, long soak in nicely-scented water before the rest of the travelers in the Progress showed up.

As luck would have it, the residence in which Raoul and his officers were housed during their stay in Persopolis was located only one street over from Lady Virryn's Villa al Hajar. Since Joren and his mother were traveling with the main train of the Progress, they had not yet arrived in the city when Kel went exploring and discovered the eerily close location of the Stone Mountain widow's winter home. The lady squire knew she'd have to face the new knight at some point, but she wasn't certain about what she'd say to him. Her only plan so far was to avoid Joren - and, sadly, his mother as well - for as long as possible.

Two things prevented Kel from accomplishing her goal of staying away from the new Lord of Stone Mountain and his mother. The first thing was that Joren sent a message ahead to Lord Raoul, requesting a meeting with him and Kel at their earliest convenience once the new knight arrived in the city. The second thing was that, during their journey south, Lady Virryn sought out and began to socialize with Lady Ilane and Baron Piers of Mindelan. Joren's mother invited her new friends to visit her at her villa once they all reached Persopolis. After that, they all agreed that it would be nice to have Keladry accompany them when they came to supper at Villa al Hajar.

The morning of Joren's appointment with them, Kel did her usual exercises and washed up before breakfast. After she finished her meal and headed back to the room Raoul was using as his office, she caught a glimpse of herself in the hallway mirror. Suddenly, she felt a little self-conscious about her height and her boyish figure. It had been a while since her last haircut, so she was annoyed by the shagginess of her hair, too. Glaring at her unsatisfactory reflection, Kel fussed and fidgeted with her clothing, even though she was wearing her normal squire's attire of a Goldenlake tunic over her loose white shirt, tan breeches and comfortable boots.

"You look ... _fine_," said a drawling voice from down the hall.

Startled, Kel turned around and saw Joren; he'd been watching her as he leaned casually against the far wall with his arms crossed over his chest. The blond knight looked very handsome with his much-shorter hair loose and tucked behind his ears, instead of in its customary horsetail. His lord's medallion hung around his neck, drawing attention to the way his chest muscles filled out the light blue tunic he wore over dark blue breeches and a white shirt. Deeply embarrassed at being caught in front of the mirror, Kel blushed as she forced herself to bow and address the new lord as she would any other important visitor to her knight-master.

"Lord Joren, I ... I'll announce you to Lord Raoul immediately." Then she disappeared into Raoul's office.

Raoul took one look at his squire's very pink face and said, "Let me guess, has the illustrious Lord Joren of Stone Mountain arrived for his very _curious_ appointment?"

"Y-yes, my lord," Kel stammered, feeling like an idiot. "Shall I bring him in?"

"Absolutely. This ought to be good," Raoul replied as he tried not to smile. He felt it would be cruel to laugh at his squire's obvious discomfort. Raoul knew that she seemed somewhat jumpy about the new lord's visit. He merely assumed that she was concerned that it might have something to do with their kissing session - the one that he had interrupted in the throne room prior to Joren's ceremony of knighthood. Kel had not told her knight-master about the incident in her room after the final banquet.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Kel squared her shoulders before she went back out into the hallway. She was confused when she saw that Joren wasn't where he had been before she went inside Raoul's office. Now _he_ was down the hall, standing in front of the mirror, fussing with his hair. He had pulled the blond locks away from his face and was trying to fasten them into a silver hair clasp, but the much-shorter length was proving tricky for him to manage. Kel pressed her lips tightly together to suppress a giggle, but a tiny sound escaped from her anyway.

When he heard her stifled giggle, Joren turned sharply and looked directly at Kel. A few minutes earlier, when he'd watched the squire straightening her tunic and grimacing at her reflection - something very much like what a 'regular' lady would do - he had wanted to scoop her up in his arms and kiss her silly. Feeling almost insane with intense desire, Joren had to force himself to be very still, because every fiber of his being wanted Kel now - passionately and completely. The only thing that prevented the young knight from giving in to his wild impulses was remembering how awful he had behaved the last time she'd seen him.

"Lord Raoul will see you now," Kel said formally, now that she'd fully regained her composure.

Joren gave up on his uncooperative hair and just tucked the loose locks behind his ears again. He quickly glanced at his reflection in the mirror one more time and cursed inwardly at his rosy-colored cheeks. Disgusted with his boyish face, Joren decided that it was time for him to grow a mustache in the hope of looking more mature. Most of the men he'd seen when he attended the meetings of the king's council in Corus had sported beards, but the young lord just couldn't bear to look too much like his father. Finally, Joren felt sufficiently under control enough to follow Kel through the short passageway and into Lord Raoul's makeshift office.

"Good morning, Lord Joren!" Raoul greeted him enthusiastically. "Please, sit down and have some something cool to drink. I trust that you had a good journey here to Persopolis." He nodded at his squire to pour cups of fruit juice for them.

"Yes, sir, we had a very smooth trip. Thank you." Joren sat in the offered chair, accepted the cup from Kel and then got right to the point. "I suppose you're wondering why I asked to see you and K--, um ... and your squire."

Raoul glanced at Kel, who was standing nearby, and said, "I admit we are a bit curious. What's on your mind, sir?"

"I hope to be the first to inform you of this," Joren set aside his cup, took a rolled-up scroll out of his leather bag and placed it on Raoul's desk. "It's alright if you've already heard about it, but I commissioned this copy to give to ... to Squire Keladry ... after you've read it, of course, my lord."

"Hmm ... what's this?" Lord Raoul untied the scroll and began to stretch it out on his desk so that he could read it.

Glancing quickly at Kel, Joren quipped, "It's probably the most elaborately-worded 'apology' you'll ever see." He wasn't exactly smiling and his blue eyes seemed somewhat worried. "Actually, sir, this is the document on which the Council of Nobles voted over three weeks ago. You already had departed Corus, but I believe you left your proxy vote with Duke Gareth and he recorded it when the time came."

Kel could see the neat script on the parchment as Raoul began to read it. Obviously, it was not Joren's handwriting, but the blond knight watched the big man reading the words as intently as if he had penned the document himself. The corner of Raoul's mouth lifted in a half-smile, half smirk as he recognized the fancy legal wording on the parchment. He had not heard of the completion of this action, but that was only because he hadn't had his weekly meeting with the king yet. Then he handed the scroll to his squire without saying a word.

As she began to read the document, Kel's skin prickled when she saw that what she held in her hands was a copy of the changes to the realm's law governing the status of persons who find themselves involved in a legal court case. The words clearly announced that, since slavery was illegal throughout Tortall, _all _citizens of realm had the right to be treated as individuals and not as property. Faster and faster, her eyes scanned down to the end of the scroll and she read the final tally of the votes. There, in shaky, but legible script, was the unmistakable signature of 'Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain' and his name was in the column of those who had voted in favor of passing the changes to the law.

"You ... you did this?" Kel's hazel eyes widened as she searched Joren's blue ones. "_You_ voted to change this law?"

"It was an antiquated law that_ needed_ to be changed," Joren said firmly. "During the session, Duke Turomot presented a long history of court case after court case - including mine - where the king's justice had been served, but the outcomes were often less than satisfactory to all the parties involved. Then the Lord Magistrate argued that to continue such legal practices would only embitter the population and sow the seeds of social discontent among the commoners. I'd never heard anyone speak so eloquently on the effects our laws have on the people of the realm."

The Commander of the King's Own knew that Lord Burchard had been a staunch opponent of such progressive changes, so he was pleasantly surprised to see that the new Lord of Stone Mountain had voted for a different outcome than his extremely conservative father would have done. Also, Raoul was quite impressed that Joren had chosen to come out of his mourning period so soon in order to attend to council session. No one would have expected the grieving son to contribute his time to any official duties for at least another month or so.

Joren continued to speak, "I took the liberty of sending a copy of this document to the seamstress, Lalasa Isran, since it was her, um ... situation that brought the issue to the top of the king's agenda. I hope that was ... alright."

Now both Raoul and Kel were staring at Joren in disbelief. The new lord had not been joking when he said that the document was an 'apology' for his past actions. Clearly, he had put some thought into his first official participation in court politics. Joren saw the expressions on both of their faces and smiled just a little. Then he nodded once toward the more senior knight.

"That's really the main reason I wanted to speak with both of you as soon as possible." Joren said politely. "I gather that you haven't heard of this action yet, so I'm glad to be the bearer of good news today."

Raoul laughed and said, "I'm sure you got the attention of many of your father's conservative associates. Now I wish I'd been at that meeting - if only to see their faces turn pale with shock. You just might have to make some new friends, Lord Joren."

"I'll definitely consider that, sir," Joren smiled but his gaze was fixed on Kel as he said, "I know that you all are busy here, but if it's not too much trouble, may I have a private word with Ke-- um, Squire Keladry before I go?"

Kel, who had been feeling slightly giddy every time she glanced in Joren's direction, stiffened at his request and she knew that her face had turned pink again. Although she was extremely impressed and more than a little happy to hear about Joren's very progressive legal and political actions, she still didn't know what she'd say to him about what had happened between them back in Corus. Raoul sensed his squire's apprehension and decided to help her.

"Actually ... my squire must carry out another important errand right now," Raoul said as he took a sealed piece of parchment out of his desk drawer and handed it to Kel. She bowed and silently exited the room as the knight-commander continued to speak. "There still are some tasks that Kel will need to accomplish prior to this afternoon's tilting practice and then she must finish her chores before we get ready for tonight's banquet. As you might remember, my squire's mornings are very busy with weapons training and such, but I think she'll be done with her official duties and have some free time by, say, tomorrow afternoon. Perhaps you can speak privately with Squire Keladry then."

"Very well, sir. Thank you for your time this morning," Joren said as he bowed again, "I'll look forward to tomorrow," Then he turned and walked out of the room.

As soon as Joren was gone, Raoul whistled a little tune and Kel came back into his office through the curtain that separated their rooms. Whenever Raoul wanted Kel to leave his office and stay nearby, he would give her a particular sealed letter - which was, in fact, blank on the inside - and 'send' her on an errand. As soon as the coast was clear, he would whistle a childhood song and she'd know to return to his office. The squire and her knight-master had many such secret signals and codes between them and they all worked quite well.

"Alright, then," Raoul said to Kel as she poured another cup of juice for each of them, "Tomorrow afternoon should give you plenty of time to decide what you want to do. If you really want to have a private _conversation_ with Lord Joren, then I won't stand in your way. But, Kel, you don't have to if you don't want to, you know. I can make sure that you stay so busy that you simply won't have the time for all that."

Looking down at the marble floor, Kel slowly shook her head. She knew the time had come for her to tell her knight-master about the night Joren had visited her room and everything that had happened after that. Raoul listened patiently, and sent up a silent prayer of thanks to the gods that he wasn't a father of daughters. How anyone could stand sending them out into the world was beyond him. He only hoped he could guide his female squire to knighthood without giving Baron Piers of Mindelan cause for alarm or disappointment.

* * *

_Kel woke at her usual hour the next morning. First she had glaive practice, then sword practice with her fellow squires. She had to clean Raoul's weapons and her own afterward, then go riding with her friends._

_"Jump, Crown, Freckle," she said quietly. "Time to get up." Chances were that she wouldn't wake Raoul in the next room, but with no door to close between them, she didn't want to chance it. He and Buri had been out late._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Lord Raoul was not surprised when Joren arrived at his office in the early afternoon and requested to speak with Squire Keladry - privately, if at all possible. Since Kel had not yet returned from grooming their horses, the senior knight ushered him in and offered him some chilled cider to drink while they waited for her. Raoul _was_ surprised, however, when Joren asked him if he'd be willing to advise him on the proper way to court a lady who would become a knight someday. When the Commander of the King's Own attempted to say that he really didn't know much about courting female warriors, the young knight casually remarked to him that he seemed to be more than just friends with the Commander of the Queen's Riders.

"That ... that's completely ... different," sputtered Raoul, who was completely caught off guard by Joren's comment, "Commander Buri and I have ... we've been good friends for ...for longer than ...than you've been alive."

Joren didn't blink. He merely asked his question in a different way, "So ... how _do_ you go about becoming more than just friends with a female warrior? The squire to the king's champion has given me his advice, but he's barely older than I am. And since I am not yet acquainted with the Baron of Pirate's Swoop, I cannot ask for his counsel on such matters. You, my lord, are the next logical choice - surely you have _something_ that you could pass on as advice ... sir."

Raoul glared at the impertinent young man. Now he understood what Kel meant when she said that Joren did things that were just maddening. He wanted to grab the arrogant whelp by the scruff of his neck and throw him out of his office. But he ran his fingers through his dark curly hair in an effort to calm himself and then he tried to think of something wise to say. It didn't come to him easily.

"Joren, I'm truly not sure if I can or should advise you on this matter," Raoul spoke slowly. "Kel is my squire. Her welfare is my responsibility. Somehow, I don't think you'll want to carry on a twenty-year friendship with her and _then_ move beyond that. I've seen the smoldering 'fire' between you and Kel and if I was Baron Piers, I'd be very concerned - especially given your _complicated_ history with each other. As her knight-master, I'm already very concerned. So first, _you_ tell me ... what are your intentions regarding Kel, anyway?"

Once again, Joren didn't blink. He calmly said, "I love Keladry - it's as simple as that, sir. I know _she_ thinks it's complicated, but I don't. And someday, when she's ready, I hope to marry her."

"Really? Are you sure?" Raoul asked, his eyebrows raised, "How long have you felt this way? Everyone at the palace knows that you two never were the best of friends."

"You're right, sir, we didn't have a very good start," Joren admitted. He knew he was blushing and he hated his face for doing such a thing against his will. "In fact, I used to despise Keladry of Mindelan. I'm not supposed to love someone like her - she's someone of whom my father never would approve. I knew he didn't like her and, for a long time, I desperately wanted to change her into someone more ... acceptable to him, and to tell the truth, more agreeable to me."

Raoul's face gave nothing away as he asked, "And now you see that she's perfectly fine the way she is?"

"Yes, sir, that's it exactly," Joren nodded and continued, "I finally realized that _I_ was the one who needed to change, not Kel. Anyway, I think I've loved her for a very long time, even though she won't hear of it. I want to court Kel - formally and officially - but I don't think she'll allow it until after she becomes a knight, too. She's said as much to me - many, many times."

Raoul had to admit to himself that he was impressed by Joren's insights, but he knew better than to let him know that and he asked, "So, are you saying that you are willing to wait that long for Kel?"

Joren nodded again, but his face didn't look happy. He spoke slowly and deliberately, "Unfortunately, Kel is going to have things her way, because there are things I must do and places I must go first, before ... before I can court Kel properly. As Lord of Stone Mountain, I'll have to travel with the King's Progress now, and attend all the meetings and banquets and such that my father used to attend. Then, after the Progress is over, I must travel to all of the places where my family has holdings and report back to the king so that he'll know the status of my family's estate as I assume control of it all. Thankfully, several of these locations, such as Pearlmouth and Port Legann, are along the Progress route. Others, such as Yaman and the Copper Isles - are places I've always wanted to see anyway."

"I had to do the same thing when I became Lord of Malorie's Peak," Raoul said, shaking his head at the memory. "And that was during a terrible time here in Tortall, when there was a famine and we were rebuilding the country after Duke Roger's rebellion nearly crushed us. Anyone may hold a title, but actually taking charge of your estate is not the easiest thing to do. However, I predict that things will go well for you, Joren."

Joren laughed bitterly and continued, "I appreciate your confidence in me, sir, but it's going to take such a long time for me to accomplish everything. The more I look through my father's papers and speak with his former associates, the more I realize that I had no idea of how much the man did in a year's time."

Raoul chuckled at that comment, "What, did you think that your family's great wealth just materialized out of thin air?"

"No, my lord," Joren replied. "I've always known exactly where Stone Mountain's money came from - I loved visiting the quarries with my father when I was a boy. It's just that I ... I didn't fully understand that my father actually was responsible for so many people and animals and things. There are many lengthy tasks that only I am supposed to do now. For example, my father bequeathed a substantial amount of inheritance money and several valuable family heirlooms to my older half-sister, Anniseth, who lives in Maren. It would be best for me to deliver these things personally, but that also will take a considerable amount of time."

"What about that deathbed compulsion your father placed on his brother?" Raoul asked, "I'm sure that all of your travels will count toward meeting several of the conditions of the curse, but soon enough, you'll have to marry and produce at least one heir so that your poor uncle can be free."

Joren shook his head, "I'm sorry about my uncle, but I'll be busy far away from Stone Mountain, Corus, and even Tortall for quite a while. I doubt I'll have the time to think about females - except for Kel, and I'm willing to wait for her, anyway."

Raoul sighed heavily. "I know you believe that now, Joren, but as you begin to travel around to all these different places, I'm sure that both your looks and your past reputation with the ladies will come back to haunt you. You're now one of the wealthiest - and most eligible - men in our realm and you _will_ be introduced to some of the most beautiful ladies in the world."

"I don't care about them," Joren insisted. "They don't know me the way Kel knows me, and I'm not interested in having any of them learn anything about me."

Now Raoul shook his head and said, "It's not easy for some men to resist the ... er, _temptations_ set before them. Your father certainly ... didn't resist. You shouldn't be surprised when people assume that you are just like the previous Lord of Stone Mountain." Raoul's face was very serious as he watched for Joren's reaction to his last comment.

"I ... am ... _not_ ... my father," Joren's face turned completely red and his voice became icy, "I'll have you know, sir, that I haven't been with a woman - _any_ woman - for almost two years. Keladry ... she ... she's _ruined_ me for anyone else."

Raoul smiled ruefully and replied, "You might feel that way now, but it's been a long time since you've lived at the palace, where the ladies of the court reside. You've not had the dubious pleasure of dealing with match-making mothers, yet, either. Trust me, they'll sniff you out and find you wherever you happen to be avoiding them." The he shuddered at his own recollections.

"Lord Raoul, I've had my own bad experiences with my match-making _father_, may he rest in peace," Joren said dryly. "And after all the court gossip about of my family's very public scandals, I'm sure I can avoid the ladies' greedy clutches."

Raoul shook his head again and said, "During your years as his squire, Sir Paxton wisely kept you out here among the Bazhir, where they cover their women, so you've not been tempted by low-cut gowns and painted faces for quite a long time. Life will be much different in your new role at court. Ladies will flock to you, regardless of your family's recent troubles. The next time you attend a ball, you'll see what I mean - I guarantee that you'll have your pick of the current crop of ladies of the court."

"No, sir, I truly only want Keladry," Joren said emphatically, "But what I also want is ... I have to know if ... if she'll ... agree to be mine ... and mine alone. I _swear _by both Mithros and the Goddess that I'd marry Kel right now if I could. I just don't know how to convince her of my sincerity, especially after ... well, I've made such a mess of things."

Raoul stared at Joren for a long time, allowing the silence between them to build. The young man's face was so solemn that the older knight knew he was sincere about his current feelings for Kel. Also, it was a serious thing to swear by the gods because they had ways of binding a person to his word. The only problem was that Raoul knew how fickle a young man's heart could be and he didn't want this particular young man's future actions to hurt his tender-hearted squire. He took a deep breath and sighed tiredly.

"Kel told me what happened at the end of your very long day - after too many toasts got the best of you," Raoul finally said. "You really don't do things half-way, do you, Joren?"

Now the new knight looked down at the floor and said, "No, sir, I don't. So you see my problem? I can't seem to set things straight with Kel. And even though I know it was the right thing for me to do when I voted for the changes to that law, I'm not sure what to do next. What am I supposed to _say_ to Kel now?"

"Well ... I think you start off by telling Kel all things that you've been telling me," Raoul replied. "You're still on friendly terms, right?"

"Not _quite _as friendly as you and Commander Buri," Joren said with a twinge of jealousy creeping into his tone of voice. "But, yes, I think so."

"Contrary to popular belief, we haven't always shared a bedroll," Raoul said icily. "In fact, most rumors still have me in bed with my men half of the time, as well as with my squire during the other half of the time. All of that is pure rubbish and I've never allowed such tales to bother me. However, as you've so astutely noted, I do spend a fair amount of time with my good _friend_, Commander Buri. When we are at the same locations or traveling along the same roads, we usually have a lot to talk about. We chat about the challenges of command, we discuss tactics and strategies, we hunt together and sometimes we even argue and fight. That's what good friends do, male or female, right? There! I don't know how else to advise you." And Raoul leaned back in his chair.

"But sir, I won't have the chance to travel along with Kel like that. All of my duties could take two, perhaps even three, years to complete," Joren was having difficulty keeping his voice from sounding whiny. "I've seen the way some of your men look at Kel and .... and I've watched other men flirt shamelessly with her, too. How can I be sure that she'll ... that she'll wait for me?"

"Aaah ... _there_ it is!" exclaimed Raoul, sitting up and slapping his palm on his desk, "You're fairly sure that while Kel is serious about making _you_ wait until after she's earned her shield - a decision I happen to agree with wholeheartedly - suddenly, you're not so sure that _she'll_ wait for you. There's your _real _worry, isn't it? You should be talking to Kel about all this, not to me. You claim to have eyes only for my squire, so tell her about the things you must do and let her know how you feel. I think she'd be very understanding."

"Yes ... yes, sir. I think you're right," Joren agreed, somewhat surprised that Raoul had just described his frustrations, as well as what he should do about them, with such clarity.

"Look, Joren, I'm no mage," Raoul admitted, "I can't tell you what your future will be. I don't even know what my own future will be. Life is full of risks - you've just got to figure out which ones are worth taking. Mithros! I'm beginning to sound just like my father!" He shook his head in mock disgust.

Joren sat in silence for a moment before he spoke again, "Lord Raoul, thank you. I appreciate you time and your advice. Do you know where I can find Kel? Do you think I should speak to her about these things now?"

Raoul tilted his head and glanced at the door between his room and Kel's room. The privacy curtain did not block out sounds and he knew that he'd heard rustling noises in there earlier. He was certain that his squire had been in her room for quite a while and that she'd probably heard most, if not all, of the conversation.

"Squire Keladry," Raoul called out, "Lord Joren is here to see you now."

Joren's mouth dropped open as he looked from Raoul to the curtain and back to Raoul.

"She ... she's been in _there_ the whole time? And you _knew _about it?" Joren almost squeaked at Raoul, "Wh--why? Why did you let me keep talking, sir?" He could hardly believe that Kel had just overheard everything he'd said.

Raoul merely shrugged his large shoulders, "Honestly, Joren, I think you and Kel should have spoken about these things a long time ago. Unfortunately, _talking_ seems to be a bit of a ... challenge for you two, so when you started asking so many questions about what to say to her, I thought I'd just let you continue."

"But ... but sir, that's not ... _fair_!" Joren sounded like a petulant child who'd lost a game of hide-and-seek. "You should've stopped me!" He knew his face had a rosy blush again.

"Oh, don't look so horrified, Joren - I actually did you a favor," Raoul grinned. "Now that my squire's already heard the worst of it, you're free to tell her whatever else you'd like. Go on in there and _really_ talk to her. Just remember, I'll be right over here on this side of the curtain, so don't get into any deep _conversations_, alright?" Then he ushered Joren into Kel's room and grinned wickedly at the sight of his squire, who was sitting on the edge of her bed with her face in her hands, and he walked back over to his desk.

Joren stood there for a long moment and stared at Kel. Then he knelt down beside her bed so that he could gently pull away her hands and hold them together in one of his hands. With his other hand, he cupped her chin and lifted her face in order to gaze into her eyes. Joren was only slightly disappointed when he saw that they were mostly brownish-green. They still had a lot to discuss so it was just as well that Kel wasn't very excited at that moment.

Trying to keep his voice calm, he asked her, "So ... did you really hear most of what I was saying in there?"

She nodded and quietly said, "When I came in, my lord was asking you about your ... your intentions toward me."

"Ah, well, that was just about everything, alright," Joren confirmed with a nod. "So you heard all about my travels and the time it's going to take for me to get my family's affairs in order."

"Two to three years, you said," Kel's voice was barely above a whisper, "And Lord Raoul told you that you'll probably meet lots of pretty - and eligible - ladies along the way. Joren, I've seen these women in action around my lord. They can be quite persistent and it will be very difficult for you to ... to wait. Perhaps you shouldn't--"

"Shhh," Joren hushed her by placing his index finger over her mouth. "If you heard all of that, then surely you heard me tell Lord Raoul that I don't want anyone but you, Kel." Then he moved his finger away and leaned in to kiss Kel gently on her lips.

When their lips met, it felt as though flames had whooshed up around both of them. Kel hesitated before she returned Joren's kisses with a fiery passion and their subsequent kisses were more intense than ever before. Joren noticed that Kel wasn't wearing a tunic - because of the desert heat, she had on only a plain white shirt and dark breeches. Somewhere in the back of the young man's mind, he decided that he liked this type of outfit on her just as much as he liked her in a gown, maybe even better. His hands could feel more of her tight muscles and soft curves through the single layer of her shirt.

Moving very slowly, so that he wouldn't lose control of himself, Joren leaned into their embrace until they both were stretched out on Kel's bed. Ignoring the fasteners near the top of her collar this time, he carefully tugged at the edge of Kel's shirt to pull it up from out of her breeches. Then he slid his hands along her warm, bare skin. Startled into awareness, Kel gasped and pulled her lips away from Joren's mesmerizing kisses and rolled off the other side of her bed to land on the floor with a thump. He sat up quickly and looked down at her.

"Is everything alright in there?" Raoul asked from beyond the closed curtain.

Kel's voice sounded unnaturally strained as she croaked, "We're fine, sir - nothing to worry about."

"What's wrong, Kel?" Joren whispered, his sky-blue eyes looking very confused, and held out his hand to help pull her up to her feet.

She shook her head and mumbled, "This is all so ... so _embarrassing_!"

Searching her very green eyes, Joren asked softly, "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing ... it's just that ... well, I'm going to have to teach you how to count again," she said glumly. Then she looked away from him and said, "You know ...you've been a knight for _exactly_ one month now. Have you been counting the days?"

"Counting the days? What does that have to do with anything, Kel?" Joren asked in an exasperated tone of voice. "Now I _really_ don't understand."

Kel sighed and forced herself to look directly into Joren's eyes before she said through clenched teeth, "It's been _one full turn of the moon _since you puked in my room at the palace." And she remained seated on the floor with her back against the bed. Then she hugged her knees to her chest and stared up at him in stony silence.

It took a moment for Joren to realize that Kel was talking about her moon cycle, and when he did, both his face and neck turned completely red. "No ... no, no, _no_!" he shook his head vigorously. "This can't be happening again! Why is the Trickster God torturing me this way?"

"Torturing_ you_?" Kel hissed angrily. "You have no idea how inconvenient this is for _me_. The Great Mother Goddess has 'blessed' me _every_ month since I was eleven years old! Try riding around on an ornery horse all day, while dealing with the monthlies at the same time, before you talk to me about torture, _Sir Knight_!"

With Kel sitting on the floor and Joren sitting on her bed, they glared at each other until the blond knight started to chuckle. Their romantic situation was so ridiculously absurd that he couldn't prevent his chuckle from becoming a full laugh. Obviously, one - or more - of the gods was against them becoming physically intimate and their divine methods of thwarting the couple were far better than those of any number of mortal chaperones. Kel tried hard not to laugh, but she couldn't stop herself, either. Soon, they were laughing so hard that Raoul stuck his head into the room to see what was going on. They did _not _let him in on their very private joke.

* * *

_Crown lay on Kel's pillow on her side, eyes closed, tiny feet curled up tight. Kel touched the bird with a gentle fingertip. Crown didn't move. When Kel picked her up, she found the sparrow was cold._

_... Two mornings later she found Freckle's body on her pillow. She had not expected him to outlive his mate for long. In a way Kel was grateful that he'd died in Persopolis so she could place him beside Crown._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Lady Virryn of Stone Mountain was a very happy woman. She'd finally been able to host an informal supper party at Villa al Hajar and all of her guests seemed to be having a fine time in spite of the desert heat. The Baron and Lady of Mindelan were Virryn's guests of honor and their charming daughter, the only lady squire in the realm, accompanied them. Other guests included some of the nobles who lived in Persopolis year-round and the Bazhir neighbors who lived on either side of her villa.

The widow of Stone Mountain dressed in a lovely, deep purple gown to show that she still was in mourning, but she was a relaxed and gracious hostess and everyone enjoyed Virryn's warmth and hospitality. She had chosen an excellent cook for her household, and her guests all stuffed themselves with the delicious meal of sliced roast lamb, marinated legumes with almond slivers, and fluffy saffron rice with peas, as well as a tangy mixture of tomatoes and cucumbers in an herb-cream sauce. After a dessert of honey-and-almond cakes, the guests sipped chilled spiced tea while a group of local musicians provided entertainment in the atrium of the spacious villa.

Joren had taken Neal's advice seriously and - even though she was dressed as a squire and not a lady - he treated Kel with chivalrous respect and genuine affection. He'd been waiting all evening to ask Kel to join him for a walk in the garden, because he knew she wanted to visit the tiny graves that he'd helped her dig earlier that week after two of her oldest sparrows died. Initially, she had thought it best to bury Crown in one of the nearby public gardens, but Joren wouldn't hear of it. After Kel explained how special the bird had been, Lady Virryn insisted that it was no trouble at all to provide a final resting place for the lady squire's little friends, so Crown and Freckle laid side-by-side, buried underneath the olive tree that grew in the middle of Villa al Hajar's courtyard garden.

"How was it today, Kel?" Joren asked her as she gazed down at the recently-disturbed dirt. "I know you miss them fiercely, but won't other birds from around here come to you now?"

"I really don't know if the local birds are smart enough to do that," Kel replied, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "All of the sparrows who've followed me around came from the palace, where being so near to Daine the Wildmage all the time has changed them. There's something about the way she communicates with the creatures that allows them to understand other humans, too. I can't fully explain it, but I certainly appreciate it. I also appreciate you for giving Crown and Freckle such a beautiful place to rest." She clasped Joren's hand and gave it a little squeeze of gratitude.

"I'm just glad you let me persuade you to bring them here. My mother was happy to open her garden to you. She likes you very much and I think she'd do anything she could to help you. So would I, Kel." Joren said softly and then raised her hand to his lips to kiss the inside of her wrist.

Kel blushed and tried to pull her hand away, but Joren used her resistance as a counterbalance and she soon found herself pressed close to his solid chest. Then he encircled her in his arms and gave her one long, slow kiss. Even though they both knew that the olive tree would shield them from the view of anyone who wasn't looking in their direction, they kissed only one more time and then stopped. Unfortunately for them, the secretive couple had discovered that they couldn't kiss very often or for very long, because their desire for each other spun out of control too quickly.

"Perhaps ... we ... we should go back inside," Kel said with a husky voice after Joren released her. "Soon it will be time for everyone to leave and my parents--"

"I know, I know," Joren said and he took a step back to put some space between them so that he could maintain control of himself. "Kel, I understand all the reasons why you don't want me to press for a courtship or anything else right now, but I want you to know that I've already hinted to your father that I'd like to speak with him about the possibility of such an arrangement in the future - the _far_ future if that's the way it has to be." Then he tucked a few stray strands of Kel's hair behind her ear before he leaned in for another brief kiss when she nodded her understanding.

Joren had been on his best behavior all week long, especially once he accepted the fact that he definitely wasn't going to be able to bed the lady squire any time soon. When he'd had the chance, Joren sat down and calculated which days of the Progress he and Kel would be in the same location at the same time. As his luck would have it, every one of those days coincided with the times of her moon cycle. Feeling extremely vexed, the new knight started making offerings at all of the temples of the Trickster god in order to appease him.

One of the unexpected bonuses of the passage of the changes to the law about the legal status of commoners was that Kel and Joren were permitted to train together again. Discovering that they still possessed very similar skills, they truly enjoyed being able to fence and spar with each other on a daily basis throughout their time in Persopolis. Joren was the better swordsman and he often won their fencing matches, but Kel usually defeated him when they fought with staffs. Regardless of the weapons, watching Kel and Joren fight each other was like watching an intricate dance and people began to comment on how good they looked whenever they trained together in the practice yard.

Kel had never felt as loved and cherished as she did during the times she spent with Joren in Persopolis. For the rest of the week, Kel visited with both Joren and his mother because the widow was her 'cover story' to her friends. The lady squire always brought back fresh produce from Lady Virryn's garden, which she shared with her friends at the practice yards. Neal, Merric and Faleron could tolerate only a few minutes of Kel's chatter about the vine of this fruit or the pests that threatened that vegetable before their eyes glazed over. Neal might have been much more interested in hearing about the kisses she and Joren shared while watching the desert sunset on his private balcony, but Kel never got around to mentioning them to him.

Joren truly appreciated Neal's subtle endorsement of him - and so did Kel. Although no one said anything outright, it was obvious that the other squires were making somewhat of an effort to accept the new lord's presence, if not his friendship. Neal never revealed the true nature of the unusual romance, but he casually reminded his friends that Kel - like all of them - was free to spend her time however and with whomever she chose.

As the time for the Progress to move on came nearer, Kel let Joren 'steal' a few more kisses than she'd otherwise have thought prudent. It was so difficult for them to stop at kissing that she was glad Third Company would be traveling in advance of the main body of the Progress to ensure the safety of the roads. She knew she'd see Joren again when the Progress lingered in Pearlmouth and then at Port Legann, but things would be a bit different at those stops. Lady Virryn was not continuing on the journey and her son would have official business to do in each of those cities, so Kel wouldn't be able to hide her visits with Joren by claiming to visit with his mother anymore. Still, Kel's memories of her time in Persopolis would draw her back to the Bazhir city someday, even if it would be at a time far in the future.

* * *

**A/N: I admit that it would be nice if I took the time to write down every little thing that all of Kel's friends and family said or did when they figured out that she and Joren had become a couple, but I just don't have it in me to do that. Some of those plot points could be quite redundant and this story is long enough as it is. I really do appreciate everyone who's continuing to read these insanely long chapters. Someday, when I finally write my own series of books, I'll have to look back at this time and remember that words are my friends and that they **_**will **_**flow if I just coax them a little. I apologize for being so far behind on my replies to your wonderful reviews. Please leave another review anyway. Thanks! :D**


	55. On the Road Again

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Whoa! Fifty five chapters and I'm still in the timeframe of Squire!! XD Now that both Kel and Joren are 'adults' in their world, I really want to move them into the future as quickly as possible. ;D However, there are a few plot points that I must cover along the way. I've decided to do some time-jumping, so you'll see a lot of quotes from ****Squire**** in this chapter, as well as the next one, in order to maintain a good frame of reference for the timing of key events. There's lots of fluff in here, and more of the stuff is coming soon enough. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_The progress left Persopolis, turning east into the hill country, then south. The succession of events and meetings with people from Tusaine and Tyra blurred together, along with the names of those who held large and small fiefdoms along the way._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**On The Road Again**

While Kel was in Persopolis, Joren hadn't ventured out much. After Third Company departed early to continue on its scouting mission, he went to the practice yards with his long-time friend, Zahir, to keep up his fighting skills. Slowly, but surely, Joren began to build stronger friendships with Neal and the rest of Kel's friends, too. They'd never be as close to him as Zahir, but they all began to warm up toward each other, especially when Joren showed everyone some of the more interesting fencing moves he'd learned from Sir Paxton and Lord Raoul.

The new knight declined to attend either of the two formal balls that the Bazhir nobles hosted. Lord Raoul's warnings to Joren about match-making mothers and their eligible daughters remained fresh in his mind and he had no intention of falling into their clutches. Lady Virryn understood her son's apprehension, and even though she truly preferred Keladry of Mindelan as a match for her son, she also knew he would have to learn how to navigate the various social circles sooner rather than later.

"My friend, Lady Catania, told me that last night's ball was a lovely affair," Virryn said to her son while they ate their breakfast of porridge and fresh milk, with melon slices and freshly-baked flatbread. "It's a shame you didn't go."

"I'm really not interested, Mother," Joren replied as he bit into a slice of the juicy, orange-colored melon. "Besides, _you_ didn't go, either. The only reason for me to attend any such event is to be your escort; therefore, if you don't go, then I don't go. We're still in mourning, anyway. It's as simple as that."

"Joren, I'm a _widow_," Virryn reminded him, "My mourning period can last anywhere between one to three years and no one will bat an eyelash. You, however, cannot continue to hide behind the excuse of mourning your father, especially since everyone knows how much you two fought before his death."

Joren scowled and said bitterly, "I don't care what people think anymore. Now that _I'm_ Lord of Stone Mountain, I can do as I wish. No one except the king can make me go to any of the social events."

Virryn sat up a bit straighter and gave her son a piercing glare, "That's exactly the sort of thing your father would - and did - say whenever he was being contrary." Her remark had the desired affect and Joren flinched. She continued in an icy tone of voice, "Ever since you came out of mourning for a week to attend the Council of Nobles and cast your surprising vote to change that old law, some of the men who swore allegiance to our House have bristled and complained. I've heard the rumors of their dissatisfaction, so don't try to tell me that you aren't aware of the situation. Joren, you _must_ learn to play their political games, whether you want to or not. That's part of your duty, too, and you know it."

Properly chastised, Joren's shoulders slumped. He knew his mother was right. The young lord didn't want to be like his father, but already he was showing signs of becoming just like him and the realization of that fact truly hurt. He also knew that, although he despised their fake smiles and their fake expressions of concern, he truly needed to listen to the men who were sworn to him and find ways to appease them so that they would continue to support him in the future. Joren looked up at Lady Virryn and apologized for his arrogant behavior.

"Mother, I wish you were coming along on the Progress, too," he continued, "I've enjoyed our evening talks and your wise counsel and ... and I don't know what I'm going to do without you by my side to keep me from getting into trouble."

Virryn covered her son's large, tanned hand with her much smaller, pale hand and spoke softly to him, "Joren, you'll be fine and you'll be back here before you know it. Darling, I wish I could be there for you, too, but I'm so tired of traveling. These past few months have taken their toll on me and I desperately need to rest up before we head north again. Remember, Sir Paxton is continuing on with the Progress to represent Nond. Surely, after all this time, you can talk to him about anything - military issues and court politics, official business and social events and ... _and_ even matters of the heart."

The worried widow silently prayed that her son was not too much like his father. She hoped that he would not succumb to all the temptations she knew would come his way. She also prayed to the Goddess to protect Keladry of Mindelan from Joren's deep passion for the lady squire - that was by far the most dangerous temptation she knew her son had to face. Then Lady Virryn smiled at Joren in a way that only a loving mother can do to reassure her child, and he warmly returned her smile.

Five days after Third Company had departed, the main part of the Progress resumed its journey and Lady Virryn bid farewell to her son. Joren planned to return to Persopolis in time to escort her to Stone Mountain for the summer months, when they finally would place Burchard's ashes in the family crypt and settle affairs at their castle home. The widow encouraged her grown son to attend more social events, such as banquets and parties, primarily for political reasons, and he reluctantly agreed. Still, Joren was adamant about not going to the balls - and no one forced him to attend them.

* * *

_The markets of Pearlmouth, just across the border from Tyra, were interesting, particularly those that showed the work of Carthaki smiths. Kel wanted one of those blades. She loved the rippled tempering that made art out of steel, art that helped it hold on to its edge longer. Someday, she told herself, if she did so great a service that the Crown gave her a purse of gold, she would buy such a blade for herself._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Exiting the offices of his Pearlmouth steward, Joren shielded his eyes against the midday sun. Now that his business for the day was complete, he planned to enjoy a nice meal at the inn where he was staying and then relax in his rooms for the remainder of the evening. The young lord's heart nearly skipped a beat when he noticed Squire Keladry of Mindelan standing alone on the far side of the grand marketplace, admiring the blades at a Carthaki sword vendor's stall.

Smiling widely, he watched the lady squire accept one of the blades from the vendor to examine it. Joren could tell that she liked it very much - even from a distance. He liked the Carthaki swords, too, but he also knew that each one cost a small fortune and that Kel couldn't afford such a fine piece of steel. An idea began to form in his head, but he decided to keep it to himself for the time being.

Very quietly, Joren walked up behind Kel and spoke softly into her left ear, "It's quite lovely, isn't it? Well-crafted and perfectly balanced, but with an inner beauty and strength all its own - just like the person holding it."

Kel stiffened at the familiar sound of his voice and she nearly fumbled the blade. She didn't know whether to jab him in his ribs with her elbow or sweep his feet out from under him first, but she forced herself not to move at all. Taking a deep breath to calm down, she handed the weapon back to the now-smirking vendor and thanked him before she turned around to address Joren through her clenched teeth.

"What do you think you're doing?" She hissed, her hazel eyes flashing green, "I could've cut myself on that sword!"

"Ah, but you didn't, Squire Keladry, because so few things rattle you," Joren said smoothly, ignoring the fact that she was upset with him, "It's a fine day here in Pearlmouth, don't you think? I was wondering if you would be able to join me for lunch. The food is very good at the inn where I'm staying and it's not too far from here." Then he bowed slightly toward her and gave her one of his most charming smiles. He barely contained his own excitement as he watched her hazel eyes turned greener.

Kel wanted to stay upset with Joren, but she couldn't - not when his smile was making her insides tingle so much. She knew that the young lord had been in meetings with the steward of Stone Mountain's holdings in Pearlmouth for several days and that he must be incredibly tired of reading reports and other documents by now. It certainly was good to see Joren out and about again - and in such a pleasant mood - even if she _had_ almost cut herself on the Carthaki sword.

The only other times she'd seen Joren was during the banquets and parties. He'd always been surrounded by the noblemen who hoped to curry favor with him or by the flirtatious ladies of the court, while she was performing whatever duties Master Oakbridge assigned her to do, as well as serving as Lord Raoul's squire. Thinking of her knight-master, Kel searched the area for Raoul, with whom she'd come to the marketplace earlier. He had watched the exchange between the young lord and his squire and now he gave her a little salute of approval and signaled for her to go her own way.

"Very well, Lord Joren," Kel bowed slightly in return, "Since you asked me so nicely - and since I now have the rest of the day to do as I please, I'll be glad to join you for lunch. I must tell you, though, that I have to return to camp in time to prepare for tonight's ball. Will you be attending this one?"

"Uh ... no. I'm not really ... ready for all that," he said and then quickly changed the subject, "Actually, I think I'd prefer to go to a different eating establishment - a tavern that my steward recommended to me. It has private dining booths with curtains and such. He and I ate supper there two days ago and it's a bit nicer and closer than the inn. How does that sound to you?"

In response, Kel's stomach growled and she glanced sheepishly at him. When he tilted his head and stared back at her in mock horror, she giggled. He had the oddest expression on his face before he grabbed her hand and pulled her along until they turned the corner into a shadowed alley between the vendors' stalls. Then Joren wrapped his arms around Kel in a tight embrace and passionately kissed her until he felt her body relax against his.

"Oh, gods, Kel, I've missed you so much," he murmured into her ear after they stopped kissing. "It's nearly impossible to break away from all the people who want something from me. I'm so glad I was alone when I found you today." And then he kissed her once more, gently this time, until her stomach growled again.

Kel felt dizzy and weak in the knees, but she still was able to make a joke by saying, "Sir Knight, I believe you mentioned lunch - I hope that wasn't just a ploy to get me to run off and be all alone with you. That would be _most_ un-chivalrous, you know." Her voice sounded hoarse and she knew she was blushing.

"I must beg your pardon, my lady," Joren sounded very apologetic, even though he still had a grin on his face, "But you obviously have no idea of the effect that your wonderful little giggle has on me. Every time I hear it, I ... I just _have_ to have you in my arms."

Now Kel looked down at the cobblestone paving as she whispered, "Please, Joren ... don't ... don't call me your _lady_. That's not who I am - or who I _can_ be anytime soon."

Taking both of her hands in his, he held them up to his lips and kissed them, "Alright, alright, you win this round, _squire_. Let's go find that tavern so that I may honor my offer of lunch to you."

"Ye're not goin' entywheres," said a gruff, foreign-sounding voice. It belonged to a huge, bald man who was brandishing a wooden club and standing at the end of the alley.

"Least ways, not till ya cough up yer purses, ya _bardash_ ninnies," said another burly seaman who pointed a long knife at them. Then both men laughed derisively at the couple.

While Joren and Kel had been enjoying their 'mini-reunion,' two sailor-thugs from one of the many cargo ships in the nearby harbor saw them go into the alley and decided that the two noble laddybucks would be easy pickings. Obviously, neither of them had recognized Joren's badge of knighthood or noticed that Kel actually was a female. Once the knight and the squire drew their swords, though, the would-be thieves' eyes grew wide and they didn't have much of a chance to discover the truth.

Fortunately, the fight was over almost as soon as it began. Even though both of the sailors were taller and brawnier than Kel and Joren, they really didn't stand a chance against the angry, insulted and highly-skilled nobles. With two swift kicks to his groin area, the lady squire quickly disarmed the bald man and then tapped him on the head with the hilt of her sword to knock him unconscious. Joren sliced open the arm of his attacker before sending the man face-down onto the cobblestones. Then, while Kel watched over the would-be robbers, the blond knight caught the attention of two Pearlmouth guardsmen and escorted them over to the alley.

Once he explained the incident to the lawmen, the blond knight paid three gold nobles to both of them to 'ensure that justice would be served.' Of course, they quickly accepted the money and informed the knight and the squire not to worry about anything. Then Joren and Kel thanked them for their assistance and strolled away from the alley calmly - as though they did that sort of fighting on a regular basis.

Once they reached the tavern, Joren asked for a table in one of the curtained booths near the back of the dining room. The owner of the tavern was very curious about the handsome knight and the female squire, but he led them to their requested table without comment. As soon as the serving girl took their order and closed the curtain to their booth, Joren moved to Kel's side of the table, held her face between the palms of his hands and kissed her over and over again.

Their food arrived quickly and they released their affectionate embrace long enough for the serving girl to place their food and drinks on the table. They resumed their kissing as soon as she closed the curtain again. Although both of the fighters were extremely hungry after the incident with the sailors, they ignored their delicious-smelling meal until Kel's stomach growled loudly again. When Joren pulled away to look at her, with a comical expression on his face, she burst out laughing.

"Your face ... it looked ... the same way ... as the bald man's face ... when we ... drew ... our swords!" Kel gasped out her words while laughing.

Now Joren began to chuckle and said, "I only remember his pained expression when you nailed his 'jewels' the second time. Mithros, Kel! _One_ of your kicks would've been enough. Where did you learn how to do that?"

Still laughing, Kel managed to say, "Eda Bell taught me all manner of useful ways to disarm and disable a man who's bigger than I am."

"Remind me never to get into a street fight _against_ you," Joren drawled as he looked down at his trencher filled with freshly fried fish and potato wedges.

Kel just shook her head, drank some of her cider and watched him as he broke off a piece of fried potato and popped it into his mouth. Unfortunately, the potato still was very hot and Joren quickly opened his mouth to let it roll off of his tongue and onto the table. Seeing him do such an undignified thing made her giggle - which caused another round of kissing - and their food cooled off long before either Joren or Kel did.

When they finally finished their meal, they began to analyze their street fight again. Joren truly was impressed by the way that Kel had stayed calm and protected herself. He even wondered if she'd have been able to handle both thugs by herself. Kel still chuckled about the surprised look on the bald man's face and she wondered if he ever truly realized that she wasn't a male. Then she started to laugh uncontrollably again.

"B-bardash n-ninnies!" Kel sputtered through her laughter, "That's ... what the ... other one ... called us. C-can you ... believe ... that's what ... they thought?"

Joren quickly sobered up at her remark and quietly said, "Yes, that's what made me so angry. Ever since I was little, people sometimes look at me and think ... well, they think I'm ... I'm like _that_. I've just about decided to grow a mustache and maybe even a beard - you know, to cover up the ... the--" And he gestured with his fingers around his still-rosy cheeks.

"It's alright, Joren," Kel calmed down and reached across the table to grasp one of his hands. Then her hazel eyes became serious and she said, "You know what people have said about _me_ all along - only it's worse because they start rumors in both directions. Either I'm a trollop who's sleeping with all of the other pages and squires or I'm fine around the males because I prefer females. I can't win, so I stopped trying to fight them. It still makes me angry, too, but I just do what I'm supposed to do to the best of my abilities and leave the rest of it alone. My true friends know the real me. _You've_ known the real me for a long time now, even though I won't ever be the kind of lady you wanted me to be."

"I ... I'm so sorry, Kel," Joren looked shamefaced, but he maintained eye contact with her. "I was so angry that you wouldn't leave, but ... but that's still no excuse for what I did back then. I ... I started a lot of those rumors - you know, when we were pages together."

"I know you did," she said as she continued to look into his eyes.

"Did you ... have you forgiven me for that, too?" he asked.

"You know that I have," Kel replied and she gently stroked the back of his hand with her fingertips before intertwining them with his fingers again. Then she said, "Joren, it's so different for you. That's part of the reason I don't want you to say things like 'my lady' in public; most passers-by don't see me as a lady squire. In fact, I'm sure that those sailors thought I was a male, too. I've always known that I'm nothing special to look at, but you're the most beaut--"

"Don't say it! I _hate_ it when people say that about me!" Joren exclaimed in a harsh whisper as he inadvertently crushed her hand with every syllable he growled. When he realized what he was doing, he let go of it immediately. "Oh, blast! I didn't mean to ... I ... I don't want to hurt you anymore, Kel."

"Don't be silly, Joren - I won't _let_ you hurt me anymore," Kel said as she reached over and rested her other hand along the side of his face, "None of us has any control over what we look like. I suppose that some people do use face paint and such to help - and I know several women who would pay lots of money to look the way you do. Still, we are the way we are and there's no point in trying to change things. It's just that I don't want to give people more opportunities to heap their scorn upon me by comparing my looks to your looks if they see us together."

"_My looks_. Hah!" He scoffed and glanced away from her. After a long moment, he turned his blue-eyed gaze back toward her and said bitterly, "My own sister hated me because of _my_ _looks_. Did you know that when I was a first-year page, some of the older boys called _me_ 'The Girl' because of _my looks_? Mithros! That was the absolute worst year of my life! Surely you remember when Nealan of Queenscove made a joke about _my looks_ and we all got punished after the brawl he caused. Oh yes, the Trickster god certainly has had a lot of 'fun' throughout the years over _my looks_."

Kel just stared at him. Of course, she remembered the stable fight, when Neal had questioned Joren's masculinity because of his pretty looks. But no one - not Cleon and certainly not Neal - had ever told her that particular detail about Joren's first year as a page. In her mind's eye, Kel could see the beautiful, rosy-cheeked, ten-year-old Joren getting hazed mercilessly by the older boys. Now she wondered if Joren's other experiences as a first-year page had contributed to him to becoming such a bully. That definitely made sense to her.

"Joren, if it upsets you so much, I won't say that ever again," Kel promised, "It's like being called ... 'the Lump,' you know. I ... I really do understand."

"Thank you, Kel," Joren nodded, "I haven't called you 'the Lump' in a very long time, but I promise not to call you 'my lady' when we're out in public unless - and until - you realize that that's who you truly _want_ to be. In fact, just thinking about what you did to that stupid sailor will be enough of a reminder to keep me in check."

His comment made her giggle and then they kissed again for quite a while. Joren was doubly glad that he'd chosen to bring Kel to the more private tavern instead of the busy inn for lunch. The lady squire always seemed to relax whenever she felt she didn't have to worry about people seeing the two of them together. The most difficult part of the afternoon - other than fighting off the thugs in the alley, of course - was that it ended all too soon.

* * *

_They were camped outside of Port Legann when Kel, bored, decided to use some of her bounty of griffin feathers. Raoul found her working behind their tents so the wind would blow away the smell of the glue she used._

_"This is good," he said with approval, inspecting a finished arrow. "If you give up this mad knighthood thing, you'll do well as a fletcher."_

_Kel grinned at his joke. "Some of these are for you, sir," she pointed out._

_"I accept them happily. In the meantime, do you remember Bay Cove?"_

_Kel had to think. It seemed as though she'd been there in ages past, but in truth it had been less than a year. "Smugglers," she said at last._

_"They might be glad we captured them. The place was struck with an earthquake last night - their mage reached the king through his crystal. The town's about to slide into the ocean." He glanced at the sun's position. "Grab supper as you pack. We have a serious ride to make."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Once again, Third Company and two Rider groups departed several days prior to the main body of the Progress. When everyone arrived at Port Legann, Joren had several meetings with yet another one of his stewards and ended up staying in lodgings within the city walls. Since Kel was staying in the camp outside of the city walls, they only saw each other at the banquets and parties.

Sometimes, the young lord could catch a private moment with the lady squire before she accompanied her knight-master back to the camp. Most of those moments were brief and Lord Raoul usually turned his back to them or waited around the corner from them while they exchanged both news and kisses - mostly kisses. The night before the earthquake hit Bay Cove had been the night that Joren had taken the opportunity to follow Kel to the stable and steal as many kisses as he could while she saddled her and Raoul's horses.

"At the end of spring, I'll need to leave the Progress and escort my mother back to Stone Mountain," Joren whispered into Kel's warm lips as he pressed her against the stable wall and slowly kissed her. "I'm going to miss you even more while I'm gone."

Kel was grateful for the solid wall holding her up and she playfully nipped at his lower lip. They kissed for a while longer before she said, "You know the old saying, 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder,' don't you? Well, prove it - write to me while you're gone and tell me how much you miss me." She gazed at him through her dreamer's hazel eyes, not knowing how green they had become.

After a few more kisses, Joren groaned, pushed himself away from the wall - and Kel - and walked around to the other side of Raoul's horse, Drum. Kel was confused by his abrupt move and she started to follow him until he told her to stay where she was. After a long moment, when Joren was able to speak again, his voice sounded strained almost to the breaking point.

"Kel, I'm slowly going insane," Joren rasped, "Being together with you is all I want right now, but I know we can't ... _do_ very much other than ... than kiss. Please, don't misunderstand me - I love holding you in my arms and kissing you, but I _almost_ lost control a moment ago."

"I'm sor--" Kel began, but he interrupted her.

"Don't be!" Joren said, "Remember, I know how to count now. I always know _exactly_ what time of the month it is now. I know way more about this sort of thing than a man probably should know, but it doesn't change how I feel about you, Kel. Perhaps ... a little time away from you will be a good thing for me - not because I want to - but because it'll be less ... _distracting_ for both of us. I promise I'll write to you, but only if you promise not to show my letters to anyone else, alright?"

Kel looked at him, puzzled by his request, but then she nodded, "I promise."

"Come on, you two!" came Raoul's low voice from outside the stable, "Surely, the horses are ready by now. It's time to go, Kel."

Joren came back around in front of Drum and kissed Kel one more time. He held her at an arm's length away from his body, but their kiss was long and sweet. They released each other before Raoul became impatient with them. The young lord and the lady squire appreciated her knight-master's good humor and they didn't want to push their luck too far.

After Kel put away her griffin feathers and fletching tools, she thought about what Joren had said the night before and she smiled ruefully to herself because he was going to get his wish a bit earlier than expected. She quickly wrote a note to explain where she was going and why, and then she paid one of the camp couriers to deliver the message to Lord Joren of Stone Mountain as soon as possible. All throughout the long night's ride to Bay Cove, Kel thought about Joren's many kisses and she felt tingly inside again as her memories of their times together made the journey just a bit more pleasant.

* * *

_Eight days after their arrival Kel and Raoul joined a crew that pulled down buildings too unstable to leave standing. Peachblossom and Raoul's warhorse, Drum, were hitched to heavy ropes; these in turn were tied to support beams inside a two-story house._

_"The glory of knighthood is lovely, isn't it?" Raoul asked as they urged the indignant Peachblossom and the calm Drum to pull. "The brilliance and fury of battle, the sound of trumpets in the air, the flowers, and the pretty girls - or pretty boys, in your case - climbing all over us."_

_Kel, every bit as muddy and weary as her knight-master, grinned. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again, my lord. You are a bad man."_

_The progress moved inland while they continued to labor in Bay Cove._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Everyone was in good spirits because it hadn't rained at all that day. Third Company had done good work and everyone deserved to feel a sense of accomplishment. A courier from the Progress arrived while they were eating their supper of dried meat and carrot stew. Lord Raoul accepted the mail pouch and then he tapped one of his men to lead the tired messenger to the dining tent to eat.

Naturally, most of the letters were official correspondence for the knight commander, but there also were several personal letters for many of the soldiers and officers who had come on this mission. Raoul had a bit of fun making a big deal over the perfumed pieces of folded and sealed parchment, which obviously were love letters from the adoring fans of some of the men, such as Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle.

Because of Kel's large family, she usually received several personal letters with each mail delivery and this time was no different. When Raoul came to the fifth letter addressed to Squire Keladry of Mindelan, its odd scent stopped him in his tracks. He couldn't quite place the smell, but it was a woody, plant-like fragrance. On the back of the folded parchment, in tiny, barely-legible script below the very familiar wax seal were the initials 'S.W.A.K.' which he knew meant "sealed with a kiss." When Raoul recognized that the scent was that of crushed olive leaves, he then realized what he held in his hand. It seemed that his squire had just received her very first _love_ letter.

* * *

**A/N: Oooo ... it's a very mild cliffhanger! Don't be mad - I just gave you more than enough fluff to tide you over until the next infusion. ;D BTW, as you might have guessed by now, I'll be writing some more letters between Kel and Joren. I hope they'll facilitate all the time-jumping that I'm going to do to move the story along. Please review. Thanks! :D**


	56. Love Letters

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Congratulations to 'Kari of Mindelan' for writing the 900th review! Yay, Kari!! :D :D And 'studentofwords' had the 888th review (I just love triple digits like that one!) Thank you all so much for sticking with my story. I truly had high hopes of being finished by now, but it's going to take several more chapters to get to the epilogue. Oh well! ;D No apologies, but this is a **_**massive**_** chapter - the longest one I've ever written - in part because I couldn't bear to do to it what I did with the 'Decisions' chapter and also because I've included so many long quotes from ****Squire****. I'm trying to blaze through time now, so hang on. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_If the town were to survive the next winter, its people needed help. Kel was better at some kinds than others. For one thing, she had no talent for carpentry._

_"This is silly," Dom told her one night, inspecting blood blisters under three of Kel's nails. "My lord, this is silly," he told Raoul, who came to see why one of his sergeants held his squire's hand. "She hits the nail half the time and herself the other half. Let Kel hunt. She's a fine shot, and she won't kill herself with a hammer."_

_"I'm fine," Kel said, pulling her hand away. She was almost immune to Dom by now...._

_"Peachblossom is a better plough horse than you are a carpenter," Raoul said with cheerful brutality. "We've been selfish, having fun while others suffer on progress. Besides, we're out of work." He beckoned to Emmit of Fenrigh, one of their healers. "Tend to those fingers, will you?" He asked Emmit. "She'll need them if she jousts again. I'll tell the lads to pack. We'll relax in Corus a week, and catch up with their majesties by the River Tellerun."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Love Letters**

Kel's heart leapt the news. A week in Corus sounded heavenly to her as she examined her freshly healed and bandaged fingers. She hadn't had a proper bath house soak since they'd left Port Legann. Excited about their departure in the morning, Kel packed Raoul's gear and her belongings and made sure everything was ready to go. As she prepared for bed that night, she pulled Joren's letter out from underneath her pillow and turned it over in her hands a few times.

Raoul hadn't teased Kel in front of the men the way he teased some of the others - like Dom or Flyn - whenever they received love letters, and for that she was extremely grateful. Still, she remembered that her knight-master had seen - and he had understood - the tiny initials scrawled beneath the Joren's seal because he pointed to them and winked at her before he gave her the letter with the rest of her mail. Once again, Kel wondered how she was going to wrangle more privacy she away from Raoul, who already knew practically everything there was to know about her romantic life.

Not knowing when their mail would catch up with each other, Kel had scribbled a quick note to send out with the courier the night Joren's letter had arrived. She hoped he would get it sooner rather than later. And she wished that she'd had more time to think about her words and write better sentences before she had sealed it. Now, Kel's fingers trembled again as she opened the letter and re-read it for the thousandth time.

******************

_To Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_Villa al-Hajar, Persopolis_

_April 7, 458 H.E._

_Dear Kel,_

_I miss you more than words can say._

_Having said that, I hope this letter finds you in good spirits. The reports I've seen about the earthquake damage in Bay Cove seem rather depressing, so I also hope that it'll stop raining there soon. Please give my regards to Lord Raoul._

_I'm sitting on the bench under the olive tree in my mother's garden while I write to you. New flowers have bloomed near the tiny graves of your bird friends and everything here reminds me of you. I've been here for all afternoon, trying to think of clever things to say, but I just decided that I'll send you some leaves from the olive tree, instead. That way, you can smell them and close your eyes and think about me sitting here thinking about you. _

_My mother sends her greetings. We are leaving tomorrow to take my father's ashes back to Stone Mountain. Along the way, we plan to stop at Marbleton House and then travel on to Barony Dunmoor to visit with my uncle's family until sometime after Beltane. I will take some olive leaves with me, too, so that I may continue to be reminded of you. _

_With Warmest Regards,_

_Joren_

******************

Kel refolded Joren's letter and placed it back beneath her pillow. She had taken out one of the olive leaves and had crushed it between her fingers to release its pleasant fragrance. Then she placed the bruised leaf within the cloth that covered her pillow, held the cushion up to her face and breathed deeply before she lay down on her bedroll. Her dreams of Joren that night were very sweet, indeed.

* * *

_Corus was a delight, particularly the palace baths, but it was better still to ride north after the progress._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Kel's short letter to Joren was waiting for him at Marbleton House when he and Lady Virryn made a stop in Corus for a few days. The moment Joren saw the folded parchment on top of the huge pile correspondence, he smiled widely and read it before he did anything else.

*************

_To Lord Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_Bay Cove_

_April 16, 458 H.E._

_Dear Joren,_

_I miss you, too._

_Thank you for such a wonderful letter. I enjoyed reading about the flowers in your mother's garden and I know that Crown and Freckle have a lovely resting place. I'm glad you sent me the leaves from the olive tree, too. They smell quite pleasant and it's nice to have something to remind me of you. I wish I had something tangible to send to you, but the courier is ready to depart, so I'll end this note by informing you that I've covered this entire page with kisses just for you. I hope you'll like them!_

_With Warmest Regards,_

_Kel _

*************

A few days later, when he and his mother traveled to Barony Dunmoor, Joren made sure that Kel's letter was safely tucked into his tunic pocket. He took it out several times to re-read it along the way and he imagined all of her kisses wafting up from the page and onto his lips. Smiling, he tried to think of what he could send to Kel next, now that he'd begun his unofficial courtship-by-correspondence with her. The answer came to him when he visited his mother's family.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lady Virryn was very happy to visit her childhood home and she showed her son all of her favorite places. Her brother, Lars, was equally pleased to give his nephew tours of the highly productive vineyards for which Dunmoor was famous. He also was quite pleased to be able to give Joren more specific guidance on the ways their family worshipped the Great Mother Goddess.

"I must confess that I'm a bit confused," Joren said to his Uncle Lars one afternoon while they sat in Fief Dunmoor's elaborately decorated chapel of the Great Mother. "I thought you said that by sacrificing my hair to the Goddess, the grapes and other crops should do very well this year. But you also told me that it had been a long time since Dunmoor had been able to offer such a sacrifice. So, how do you normally ensure the success of your fief's harvest?"

In answering his nephew's question, Baron Lars rose from the wooden bench and beckoned for Joren to join him at one of the windows which overlooked the western vineyards. He pointed out to him a small stone hut in a large clearing, as well as a line of people making their way toward the structure. They were carrying a large wooden pole festooned with many colorful streamers.

"As you know, tomorrow is Beltane," Lars stated. "Our people are setting up the decorations and the maypole and such, all in preparation for the festivities. One of the village maidens will have her wedding in the late afternoon and then she and her groom will consummate their marriage in the Goddess' shrine out there tomorrow night. You see, a lot of our people choose to marry on Beltane, so every year, one of the newly married couples offers their first blood and seed to the land and the Goddess usually blesses us with a successful harvest. That's what we normally do here at Dunmoor."

"Wait, what do you mean by 'offers their first blood and seed to the land'?" Joren asked, remembering the wedding night customs that Sir Paxton had explained to him so long ago when they were at Mindelan, "Surely they don't lie on ... on the _bare ground_ - or do they?"

"I know this will sound strange to you, Joren," Lars said, "Especially since most of your father's people worship Mithros alone. My sister only found one poor temple of the Goddess in one of the smaller villages of Stone Mountain. Naturally, your father forbade her to worship with the commoners there, or even to teach _you_ her family's traditions - except, of course, for keeping your hair long."

"I know they fought about my hair, too," Joren acknowledged, "But Mother somehow always won that battle. I ... I'm glad she did."

Lars took a deep breath and continued, "Try to understand that, here at Dunmoor, our crops, as well as our very lives, depend on the fertility of the soil. The Goddess asks so little from us and gives us so much in return. When both the husband and the wife are virgins, we have an extremely successful harvest. However, even though our people tend to marry quite young, we rarely can make such a sacrifice. Still, as long as the _wife_ is a virgin, our vineyards do very well, which is why we're able to produce so many high-quality wines here."

"But, Uncle Lars," Joren protested, "How can anyone agree to ... to rut around in the _dirt_, in a place that countless others have been before, while the entire population of the fief is watching?" The young lord had a look of horrified disgust on his face.

"First of all, the floor of the shrine is not exactly made of dirt," Lars explained patiently, "It's more like a ... a fine, white sand. The mages who serve as Daughters of the Goddess prepare a fresh 'marriage bed' each year. Second, the stone walls and solid wooden door of the shrine provide plenty of privacy for the newlyweds. Third, everyone is too busy celebrating with music and dancing to listen to what goes on inside of the shrine. Besides, we all know exactly when the Goddess has accepted the sacrifice, because everyone will feel the earth shudder in a special way. It's truly amazing - you'll experience it for yourself tomorrow night!" Lars sounded excited for his nephew.

Joren blinked his eyes in disbelief, "I'm not so sure I should attend the ... um, festivities. I'm Stone Mountain - _my_ people work in quarries and mines, not fields and vineyards. Just because _I've_ begun to worship the Goddess along with Mithros, doesn't mean I'm interested in following all of these quaint customs of yours."

"Nonsense! Of course you must attend the celebration with us," Lars stated firmly, "It's a part of our family's heritage. In fact, my wife and I celebrated our wedding night in that shrine. So did my father - your grandfather - and his sires before him. Everyone in our family has offered wedding night sacrifices to the earth of Dunmoor. Everyone except Virryn, of course." Then he gave Joren a sidelong glance.

"Oh no, no sir," Joren shook his head and said, "Surely you don't expect me to return here for _my_ wedding night," Joren said, shaking his head from side to side, "I've already sacrificed my hair. The Goddess should be happy enough with that."

"Ah well, I suppose it's a moot point in your case," Lars sighed and waved his hand dismissively at Joren, "If you end up marrying the lady squire after she becomes a knight - as my sister so fervently hopes you will do - _she_ wouldn't be able to offer a proper sacrifice, anyway."

"What do you mean by that?" Joren asked, sounding a little indignant. "Do you have something against Keladry of Mindelan?"

"Well ... it's not that I don't like the lady squire, because I do," Lars said carefully. "She was a great comfort to my sister during your father's illness and death. And she seems to be a very nice person and all, but Joren, you must realize that the Goddess only accepts a sacrifice of _virgin_ blood. Everyone knows that the Mindelan girl is no more a virgin than you are."

Joren knew his face had turned pink and he asked, "W-What makes you say that?"

Lars shrugged and casually said, "I don't normally listen to rumors, but I've heard from several people that your friend started canoodling when she was quite young. Surely _you _must have heard about the girl's visits to a male page's room practically every night during her first year at the palace. Supposedly, she went there to study with him, but knowing how lusty you youngsters can be, it's highly unlikely that they were doing their math homework, don't you think? Besides, the way you and Squire Keladry behave around each other, I figured that you've tumbled with her quite a bit already."

Joren merely stared at his uncle in stunned silence. He truly didn't know what to say first. It was obvious to him now that the nasty rumors about Kel that he had started during his page years had taken on a long, malicious life of their own. He wondered how many other people had such a low opinion of Kel's virtue, or lack thereof, the way his uncle did. It made Joren extremely upset to hear such talk - especially since he and Kel really _hadn't_ had been canoodling all this time - and he decided to correct his uncle's misperceptions right away.

"I'm sorry, Uncle, but I have to set you straight," Joren began politely, "I know for a fact that Keladry of Mindelan is a true maiden. In fact, for a variety of reasons I don't wish to discuss, I confess that _I_ was the one who started those terrible rumors you just stated. _I_ was the male page with whom Keladry visited her first year - and I can assure you that we really did study. She actually helped me learn how to read and write well enough to get passing grades after Lord Wyldon almost had to dismiss me. And we've never ... she and I ... um, well ... she's still very much a virgin."

Lars narrowed his eyes at his nephew and asked, "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, Uncle," Joren nodded, "_Quite_ sure."

"Then perhaps you should consider building your own shrine at Stone Mountain," Lars said thoughtfully, stroking his short beard. "If you think she'll still be a virgin when you marry her - assuming that's what you plan to do in the future - then you should offer _her_ first blood to the Goddess. Who knows what level of prosperity such a noble sacrifice could bring to your mountains?"

Joren swallowed hard. This was one of the strangest conversations he'd ever had and the customs of his mother's people both confused and scared him. A year earlier, he never would have imagined himself speaking about such things as blood sacrifices and fertility rites - or even moon cycles. Recently, he'd even been examining the calendar to determine the best days in every month for him to bed Kel without there being any obstacles. Now, his uncle had given him something deeper to think about and it made him more than a little nervous - and frustrated.

"As I told you before," Joren drawled, trying not to sound distressed, "The people of Stone Mountain are _miners_, not farmers. I don't really see how a blood sacrifice could help us."

"You cannot eat blocks of stone or jewels or metal," Lars insisted, "Surely some of your people grow the _food_ you eat at Stone Mountain. And I know there are plenty of sheep and goats living throughout your rocky hills. The Goddess is also the Mother of the Mountains, you know. If you don't wish to offer her a wedding night sacrifice for the fertility of your lands and your livestock, then you should consider how you will honor the Great Mother in some other way. Do not neglect your duty in this area or you will anger the Goddess and that would be most unwise."

After thinking about it some more, Joren decided to accompany his mother and the rest of his Dunmoor family to the Beltane festivities. He actually had a very good time, even though he drank just a little too much of his uncle's excellent wine. The moment the newly married couple made their sacrifice to the Goddess, Joren and all of the other revelers felt the powerful shock wave flow through their bodies - just as his uncle had said it would. The intensity of the peculiar sensation was like nothing he'd ever experienced, but it was something that made the young lord seriously reconsider many of his previous plans.

* * *

_Northern roads were narrower than southern ones. Rocky hills and dense forests made them so, forcing the progress to slow down until the pace that had annoyed Kel the year before now seemed lightening-like. She had not jousted since Persopolis._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

The only good thing about the mind-numbingly slow pace of the Progress was that it gave Kel an opportunity to spend some time with her parents. She especially enjoyed a few heart-to-heart talks with her mother. Lady Ilane was not at all surprised that Joren had begun to write love letters to her daughter. After all, Baron Piers had informed his wife that the young lord had hinted to him several times that he'd probably request to court Kel as soon as she became a knight. Ilane was surprised that Kel wouldn't show her inquisitive mother any of the letters Joren had written to her, especially after the young lord had sent a case of excellent Dunmoor wines to them.

One afternoon, when Lady Ilane dropped by Kel's tent to bring her daughter a packet of special Yamani tea, she noticed the corner of a piece of parchment sticking out from under Kel's pillow. She knew that Kel was still grooming the horses and that the squire would be busy preparing to serve at the evening banquet when she was finished with her chores. Although the experienced mother and grandmother knew better, Ilane's curiosity was overwhelming, so she carefully pulled out the letter and quickly read it.

******************

_To Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_Barony Dunmoor_

_May 2, 458 H.E._

_Dear Kel,_

_I miss you like the desert misses the rain._

_By the time you receive this letter, I probably will have departed from Stone Mountain already. My mother and I will be leaving Dunmoor two days from today. She has recommended that I travel on through Galla and along the Great Eastern Road to visit my sister in northeastern Maren while all of the mountain passes are clear. She feels very strongly that I should deliver Anniseth's part of the inheritance to her personally. I have no idea how long I'll be gone, but I must get back through the mountains again before the first snows arrive or I'll be stuck on the other side until next spring. _

_My Uncle Langdon sends his greetings to you. He asked if you'd been jousting lately and I told him I was fairly sure that, considering the length of time you were on your mission to Bay Cove, you haven't had the opportunity to enter any contests. Thankfully, he has been taking care of everything at Stone Mountain since my father's death, and he's willing to continue to do so while I'm am out of the country. _

_My Uncle Lars sends his greetings to you, too. My visit with him and his wife and children has been wonderful and I'll be sad to leave them so soon. The vineyards here at Dunmoor are incredible! I think I'll only serve Dunmoor wines at my table from now on - they truly are the best I've ever tasted. At every evening meal, my uncle has served a different wine and all of them have been excellent vintages. _

_The Beltane celebration at Dunmoor was like nothing I've ever seen before. The entire fief witnessed the wedding of two young people from the village. Then everyone went out into the vineyards, where the feast tables were set up and there was a lot of singing and dancing and, of course, drinking. The most amazing thing happened when the newly married couple made their offering to the Goddess, but I can't begin describe it all in a letter. I only wish you could have been here with me to experience it, because at that moment, I wanted you in my arms more than ever._

_Obviously, my mother's people - both the men and the women - worship the Great Mother Goddess and it seems that the gift of my hair was only the beginning of all the things I should be doing to worship the Goddess properly. As I witnessed last night, the people of Dunmoor have some very interesting ways of making their offerings to the Great Mother. My father always insisted that we worship Mithros at Stone Mountain, so this has been quite the education here. I've never asked you this before, but which gods does your family worship? _

_I hope you and your parents and Lord Raoul will enjoy the selection of wines I'm sending to you. Please let me know if anything was broken or missing. I paid extra to insure that each case of wine would be delivered directly to your rooms at the palace so that they would be there when you arrived. Even though I know you usually drink juice or cider, Kel, I hope you'll at least __**taste**__ these wines so that you'll understand that I'm not just boasting - Dunmoor wines really are the best in all of Tortall._

_Also, I'm very glad you liked the olive leaves. I'll send you more of them when I return to Persopolis. Unfortunately, my trip to Maren means that I probably won't see you for quite a while - unless, of course, my dreams of you count. If they do, then I'll see you every night. Still, it's not the same as holding you close to me and kissing the real you. I can hardly wait to see you again, Kel. May the gods all bless you and keep you safe until then._

_With Warmest Regards,_

_Joren_

******************

Lady Ilane smiled as she put the letter back under Kel's pillow in the exact place that she'd found it. She knew she was wrong for snooping, but she felt better about the young Lord of Stone Mountain now that she'd read for herself that Joren truly cared for her daughter. Also, it was good to know that Kel felt strongly enough about the handsome blond knight to keep his letters under her pillow - it was such a romantic thing for her daughter to do. Ilane left the packet of tea on Kel's desk and then strolled back to her own lodgings with a strong feeling of hope in her heart.

* * *

_Blue Harbor was the last big port on the northern coast. Since it was also the largest colony for merfolk in Tortall, the monarchs would stay longer than usual. There would be more celebrations and more serving duties. Reading the schedule, Kel could bear it no longer. She put her name on the board for matches._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

It was very difficult to impress Lord Joren of Stone Mountain; he'd grown up in one of the wealthiest homes in all of Tortall. Although he enjoyed wearing fine clothes and buying nice things, he rarely thought about his wealth because it always had been an integral part of his life. The kingdom of Maren was massive; in fact, the country was much larger than the maps actually displayed. Traveling across northern part of the country to get to his destination took much longer than the Tortallan knight had expected. When Joren finally arrived at Fief Trenell, the home of his half-sister, Lady Anniseth and her Marenite husband, Lord Fenton, he truly was impressed beyond all measure.

Tortall was a large country, too, but much of it consisted of thickly forested and mountainous terrain and well as the Great Inland Desert. East of Tortall and Tusaine, south of Galla, west of Sarain and north of Tyra and the Great Inland Sea, the kingdom of Maren was an immense tapestry of rich farmland. Fief Trenell, located not too far from the border with Sarain, was almost three times larger than Stone Mountain. Joren was shocked when Anniseth informed him that her husband's lands were not considered to be among the largest estates in the realm. The young lord felt almost embarrassed for having thought so highly of his own lands for so long.

After supper on the second evening of his visit, Joren and Anniseth retired to her sitting room to discuss the inheritance money and other items that their father had wanted her to have. They both agreed that it would be best for them to handle all the official business of his trip first, and then Lord Fenton would escort them on a tour of the entire fief. Anniseth was shocked by the beautiful heirloom jewelry and the large chest of gold and silver coins which Lord Burchard had bequeathed to her. She was less than enthused to see the contents of another wooden chest.

"I don't understand why Father wanted me to have this," Anniseth stated with disdain as she peered at the pile of dusty scrolls and letters. "These ... _things_ are ancient history. All they'll do is bring up bitter memories. I've built a new life here in Maren, Joren. I'm a different person and I'm finally _happy_. It's very nice to have the jewelry from our grandmother, even though I barely remember her, but these letters and scrolls ... ugh! Why should I look back at the past?"

"I certainly don't have any answers for you," Joren shrugged, "I'm only carrying out our father's final wishes. _He_ wanted you to have these items, so now you have them. What you decide to do with them is completely up to you. Of course, I never knew our grandparents, so I'm glad you like the jewelry. Perhaps ... you can look at one or two of the scrolls and if you don't want them, burn the rest. I really don't care either way."

Giving Joren a skeptical glare, Anniseth picked up the topmost scroll and gingerly unrolled it. She gasped as her eyes scanned down the length of the stiff parchment and then she placed it on the table in front of Joren. It was a charcoal sketch of a lady sitting under a tree - her mother, Lady Cordelia. The signed date on the parchment was two years before Anniseth was born, seven years before the artist, Burchard of Stone Mountain, became lord of the fief. The hairs on the back of Joren's neck stood up and a cold shiver went down his spine.

"I ... I never knew our father could draw like that," Joren said quietly. Obviously, he had never known Lady Cordelia, but he could tell that Anniseth thought the sketch was an accurate likeness of her long-dead mother.

"I wouldn't have thought him capable of such a thing, either" she replied, her voice a little shaky now.

Anniseth put the scroll down and picked up another one. It, too, was a sketch of her mother, this time with her belly round in pregnancy, dated just prior to Anniseth's birth. The next scroll showed Lady Cordelia holding a swaddled baby in her arms. Silent tears streamed down the young woman's face as she looked at the other four scrolls, three of them dated before her birth and one of her as a tiny toddler. Joren gave her his handkerchief when she broke down and began to sob uncontrollably.

Feeling extremely awkward, Joren left Anniseth's sitting room to find Fenton and bring him back to her. He didn't think it was his place to console his half-sister, especially since it was his mother, Lady Virryn, who had replaced Lady Cordelia in their father's affections. Fenton came quickly and held his distraught wife in his arms while she cried herself dry. Joren wisely left them alone and quietly closed the door to the room behind him.

When he got back to his rooms in the large guest wing of the castle, Joren sat at the desk and thought about what had just happened. From the looks of the other items in the box he had brought to Anniseth, their father must have kept every piece of correspondence he'd ever received from his first wife. Knowing that there were many such boxes back at Stone Mountain, waiting for his return so that he could go through them, Joren was glad to have this advanced warning of what he might find there.

It took almost two weeks for Lord Fenton to show Joren the entire estate - the vast cultivated fields of grain and vegetables, the fruit tree orchards, and all twelve of its small villages. Anniseth accompanied the men on their little trip, but she visited various tenants and villagers while they hunted and fished and toured the farms and granaries. She was a bit unnerved by the way that Joren got along so well with her husband, and although she didn't like it, she wasn't going to complain about it, either.

Even though she still treated him coolly, Joren sensed that Anniseth had changed for the better. Married life and motherhood had made a world of difference in her life. Still, he stayed alert, waiting for her to snap at him maliciously - the way she always had done before - and he decided to spend most of his time with Fenton. He really liked the man and he discovered that the Marenite lord had been one of King Barnesh's representatives within the Tortallan court for almost ten years. Joren could tell that Fenton loved his half-sister very much, because every time he turned around, the two of them were kissing or holding hands or being romantic in other ways.

When the trio and their entourage returned to Trenell, there was a pouch of mail from Tortall waiting for them. Lord Fenton still received quite a bit of correspondence from his former associates in Corus and Anniseth kept in touch with her friends there, too. Everyone was surprised to find that there also were a few letters for Joren. Anniseth recognized the Stone Mountain seal on most of her brother's mail, but she became intensely curious about a letter from someone else because it smelled like the kind of soap that a lady would use. After she witnessed the way Joren's eyes lit up when he recognized the seal on the scented letter, she decided she'd have to force the whole story out of him later.

Joren noticed the questioning look on his sister's face and knew that she wanted to find out more about his 'special' letter. He had no intention of satisfying her curiosity. Scooping up all of his letters, Joren retreated to the spacious guest rooms where a hot bath - and privacy - awaited him. His rooms were so warm that he knew the water wouldn't cool off too quickly while he read his mail and he opened Kel's letter first.

*************

_To Lord Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_Blue Harbor_

_May 14, 458 H.E._

_Dear Joren,_

_It was so good to hear from you again, although I suppose it will take a while for our letters to reach each other while you are in Maren. I'm so excited for you! I've only been across the sea to the Yamani Islands, but I've never traveled east over the mountains. Perhaps I'll do that someday, too. _

_As much as I wish I could see you, be glad you're not with the Progress right now. We've been traveling at a snail's pace lately and it's nearly unbearable. I finally put my name back on the lists to compete and I'm much happier. Of course, I'm tired and sore now, too, but that's better than being bored to tears. _

_You'll never guess who signed up to joust against me first - Lord Wyldon! Unbelievably, he didn't send me flying this time, but Lord Raoul says that after the third run, I became tilt-silly. I don't really remember it because the third hit made my head feel like there were bees buzzing around on the inside. May the Goddess bless whoever got me out of my armor and onto my cot. Afterward, three young girls were sitting in my tent, waiting to speak with me about becoming pages! Seeing their enthusiasm made me feel much better._

_It feels like there have been a thousand banquets, parties and balls during our stay in Blue Harbor. Neal is so lucky; the Lioness despises the sea, so she has gone ahead of the Progress, taking him north with her to hunt and fish near her original home fief of Trebond. Everyone else here says hello and we're all extremely jealous of your travels. The other squires have been practicing those fencing moves you showed them and both Faleron and Owen have done very well using them in their competitions. You should be proud - right now, Faleron is in third place on the sword fighting list. _

_The Progress is headed to Mindelan next and I can't wait to see my brothers and their families again. Third Company will be escorting my parents ahead of everyone else, so I'll get to spend more time with my nieces and nephews. I know that they've grown a lot since I last saw them. My oldest nephew, Lachran, is preparing to enter page training this autumn. Just the thought of that makes me feel old! In fact, I'll be seventeen next month. How old are your nephews?_

_The Beltane festivities at Barony Dunmoor sound quite interesting. I've seen a few of the ceremonies that the farmers of Mindelan do. I think their traditions center around worshipping the Goddess, too. They seem to be somewhat similar to what your uncle's tenants do, at least with the celebrations in the middle of the fields and all, but I'd really like to hear more about Dunmoor's customs when I see you again. _

_You asked me about my family's religious affiliations and I'd have to say that it's quite a mixture. There are chapels and shrines to both Mithros and the Great Goddess throughout all the villages of Mindelan. However, my parents have spent so much time among the Yamanis that they also honor their goddesses, Yama and the Wave Walker, as well as the trickster, Sakuyo, for good measure. Personally, I think I worship at the temple of Mithros most often; but I try not to offend any of the deities._

_The olive leaves are very special and they do help me to think of you every night. I wish I had something as sweet-smelling to send to you, but I don't really use perfumes and such. I do use a certain kind of soap every day - Lalasa buys it for me from an herb woman she knows. Anyway, the enclosed bag of soap shavings are the closest thing that I could come up with that you might like to have to remind you of me. _

_I hope your visit with your sister is a success. Again, I miss you tremendously and I look forward to seeing you when you return to Tortall. Please extend my greetings to Lady Virryn when you return to Stone Mountain. May the gods all bless and keep you safe until then. _

_With Warmest Regards,_

_Kel_

*************

Joren picked up the thin muslin pouch of soap shavings and inhaled the fragrance he knew so well. So _this_ was what he had smelled whenever he ran his fingers through Kel's hair after it was freshly washed. The soap possessed a light, slightly floral scent that mixed so nicely with the way her warm skin smelled. He closed his eyes, imagined Kel and smiled.

* * *

_That same afternoon a messenger from Northwatch galloped through Mindelan's gates. Scanrans had crossed the border in three places. General Vanget haMinch, in charge of the border defenses, needed troops and supplies immediately...._

_The monarchs, with the mages Numair and Daine and the realm's chief healer, Baird of Queenscove, remained behind. Raoul, Kel and Third Company were their guards, along with Buri and the Seventeenth Rider Group. Dressed plainly, moving quietly, their party visited fiefs and towns below the Scanran border. They noted what was needed, then Numair magically transmitted their requests to mages in Corus...._

_They had been riding through mountain terrain for two weeks when General Vanget caught them. Kel stood guard at the tent as the fiery Minchi expressed overburdened feelings to his king and queen, with Buri and Raoul in attendance. The king's explanation of what he'd been doing did little to appease the general. He demanded that they not add to his worries and get their royal behinds back to the progress...._

_They rejoined the progress at Fief Hannalof and traveled east to the sprawling lands held by members of the Minchi clan, north of Fief Dunlath on the Gallan border. After a week of celebrations the progress took a meandering route south and west. There were tournaments: Kel entered as many contests as she could. It was the only way she could even briefly stop worrying...._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Kel sat patiently at the end of the jousting lane, her visor up, waiting for the signal to charge forward. Her opponent was one of the fourth-year squires whom she didn't know very well. It really didn't matter to her who was at the other end of the field lately, because she was only trying to keep her mind busy. She'd already competed against a different squire earlier that morning. Noises from the nearby stands drifted her way, but she knew that her closest friends weren't there to cheer her on - they were out with their knight-masters, defending Tortall against the Scanrans.

The monarchs had decided to keep Third Company with the Progress and to send First Company and a few Rider groups down the coast to aid Seabeth and Seajen, where Scanran wolf-ships had amassed and looked prepared to attack. Most other knights had gone north to assist the army. This meant that Lord Raoul was extremely sulky and terrible to be around.

After Kel had tried a number of things to bring her knight-master out of his foul mood, she gave up and competed mostly against other squires whose knight-masters had to stay with Progress, too. She felt cross, too, whenever she thought about all of her friends who were in harm's way, while she was stuck 'putting on a show' for the townspeople at every stop. The lady squire used her frustration to propel her to victory time and again.

Additionally, Kel discovered that her own sisters had been gossiping about her amongst themselves. During one of the banquets at Fief Hannalof, Oranie, who had married into the Hannalof family, quietly pulled her aside. Kel had thought that her sister wanted to brag about her new baby boy. Instead, Orie chastised her for even considering the new Lord of Stone Mountain as a potential suitor and then she recounted all the recent scandals surrounding Joren's family, as if the squire didn't already know all about them.

A few days later, at a party hosted by one of the matriarchs of the Minchi clan, Kel spoke to her sister, Demadina, for the first time in many years and it wasn't a pleasant reunion. Demi also pulled her aside and warned her against marrying into such a conservative family. Apparently, Kel's sister had not experienced much happiness with her husband, Sir Gelvan haMinch, and now Kel knew that her mother had been referring to Demi whenever she spoke of a troubled marriage within their family.

When Kel asked how her sister had found out about her and Joren, Demi told her that she'd received a letter from their sister Adalia. It became clear that Adie must have overheard her husband, Merovec, chatting with his brother, Paxton about all the 'romantic incidents' between his former squire and the lady squire. Adie's letters to the other Mindelan girls expressed her 'deep concerns' about their youngest sister's romantic endeavors. Kel was so embarrassed and angry that she couldn't even talk to her mother about the gossips - it would seem too much like tattling on her older sisters and she didn't want to cause any more problems. It just vexed her to think about all the different people who now knew about her and the handsome young lord.

Receiving another letter from Joren was the only thing that lifted her spirits after those tough weeks. As she sat in the saddle on Peachblossom's back, Kel suddenly realized that there hadn't been any mention of the Scanran attacks in Joren's latest letter to her. Being so far away, it probably meant that he didn't even know what was going on back in Tortall. She tried to think of his words that she had read again before she'd finished putting on all of her armor that afternoon.

******************

_To Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_Fief Trenell, Kingdom of Maren_

_June 10, 458 H.E._

_Dear Kel,_

_Happy Birthday! I realize that by the time you receive this letter, you'll probably have been seventeen for a month already, so I hope you had a nice time with your family. I'd like for you to accept the gift of my heart, even though it truly has belonged to you for quite a while now. Now I really wish I could've been there with you to give you a special birthday kiss, but I'll just save that one for later._

_It's good to be in Maren - finally. Traveling through Galla was very aggravating. People kept asking me if I was a Scanran soldier or worse, a Scanran spy. Ignorant peasants! More than once, I had to restrain my men-at-arms from killing stupid commoners who threw rotten cabbages and other things at our group. You'd think they had never seen a blond Tortallan before. I grew very tired of explaining myself and it was a great relief to cross into the far more civilized kingdom of Maren._

_Honestly, take everything you ever thought you knew about Maren - the lay of the land, the amount of food it grows, everything - and triple it. Our maps do not accurately show how huge this country really is. Do you remember all those legends and tales about King Norrin and Queen Anj'la and the Dominion Jewel? Well, I think they're all true. I've never seen such prosperity anywhere, even in Tortall. Maybe we'll become more like Maren in a few centuries, if our king and his heirs continue to hold on to the Jewel and use its power wisely. _

_All of the families here are big, too. I know that you come from a large family, Kel, but here at Fief Trenell, my brother-in-law, Lord Fenton, is the oldest of __**twelve**__ children. His father went to the Peaceful Realms soon after the youngest boy - the ninth son - was born and Fenton became Lord of Trenell. All but one of his five married brothers and their families live here, too. Although Castle Trenell is enormous, I feel as though I'm surrounded by people all of the time - because I am. _

_Anniseth and I are getting along better than I had expected. We've discovered that our father had some artistic talent. He sketched several portraits of his first wife, Lady Cordelia, and he saved most of the letters she ever wrote to him, too. All of that is now part of my sister's inheritance, along with the money and some jewelry. It was very distressing when Anniseth first saw the sketches of her mother and read some of her letters, but in an odd way, I think that's why things seem to be less hostile between us._

_Make no mistake, Anniseth isn't exactly warm toward me - I've spent more time with her husband than I have with her. Unfortunately, I haven't found the right moment to tell my sister about everything that happened right before our father died, and I'm not sure that I ever will. She likes her life here in Maren and she truly doesn't seem to care about the past._

_Thank you for the wonderful bits of your scented soap. Although I still have some olive leaves, I'm glad to have something of yours that really does remind me of you. Right now, I'm holding the little sack of soap against my face and wishing you were here. I look forward to my return with every passing day. Until then, I'll just have to be content with seeing you in my dreams. _

_With Warmest Regards,_

_Joren _

******************

No, Kel thought. When Joren wrote that letter, he couldn't have known about the latest threats from Scanra. The monitor raised his flag. Bringing herself back to full concentration, Kel pulled down her visor, lifted her lance into position and told Peachblossom to charge.

* * *

_They came to Corus as the last leaves fell from the trees. The Grand Progress was over at last._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Joren waited impatiently for Lord Fenton's mage to contact the Stone Mountain mage. When the courier brought news to Trenell that the Scanrans had attacked Tortall, the first thing Joren thought about was his mother's safety. Anniseth's husband offered the use of his personal mage in order to find out the situation as quickly as possible. Sir Langdon's return message reassured Joren that Lady Virryn had rejoined the safety of the Progress which was headed south to Corus. Traveling on from there, she would enjoy the company of other noble residents of Persopolis who had agreed to ensure her safe return to Villa al-Hajar.

Joren's uncle also informed him that it was far too dangerous for the young lord to travel back through the mountains of Galla, especially since he didn't have a legal heir yet. The blond knight remembered that many Gallans had thought he was a Scanran, so returning the same way that they'd come over wouldn't be wise anyway. This meant that he and his men would have to take the extremely long route down through Maren, along the Shappa Road, then across Maren's southern coast and into Tyra and finally up from Pearlmouth. They couldn't travel very quickly because they had a full wagon-load of gifts and supplies with them, too. Since he didn't know much about Maren, Lord Fenton offered to help Joren map out his journey and he gratefully accepted the assistance.

Even though they had been at peace with Tortall for a while, traveling through Tusaine wasn't something that anyone would recommend. Joren was sorely tempted to take the shortcut anyway, but Fenton wouldn't hear of it. In fact, he insisted on accompanying the young knight all the way to Tortall with a small contingent of his Trenell men-at-arms. They hoped to reach Persopolis by Midwinter. Anniseth seethed with anger when Fenton denied her request to travel with them, but she knew he was right - they had just discovered that she was pregnant with their third child.

Two days prior to Joren's departure from Trenell, a courier delivered another letter from Kel. This time, it was the only piece of mail that he received. His uncle knew that he'd be returning from Maren as soon as possible and had held all of his correspondence at Stone Mountain for him.

Joren quickly scanned Kel's letter for any important news. Then he wrote a short note back to the lady squire and gave it to the courier before the man continued on his rounds. Afterwards, he took his time and read the letter again while standing in grand foyer of Castle Trenell. He did not notice his sister as she silently glided down the winding staircase behind him and peered over his shoulder.

*************

_To Lord Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_Castle Hannalof, Tortall_

_July 20, 458 H.E._

_Dear Joren,_

_I miss you more than ever._

_In case you haven't heard, Scanrans have attacked our northern border and are menacing the Tortallan coastline at this time. I'm praying that the gods will protect you when you travel back through the mountains to return to Stone Mountain. Please be careful!_

_Lord Raoul and Third Company, as well as Commander Buri and the Seventeenth Rider Group, are the official guard for the Progress for the time being, so all we get to do at every stop is to participate in showy exhibitions and wait for the daily reports to come in while almost everyone else has gone north. I know it's important to protect the royal party, but the roads between here and Corus are so safe that I feel practically useless. _

_The Scanrans have wolf-ships off the coast, near Fiefs Seabeth and Seajen, which are my mother's original home fiefs. My brother, Conal, has joined my cousins there to help First Company of the King's Own and the other defending forces who also have gone to the coast in support of my uncle, Lord Kinrath. My cousin, Tressa, who's now one of the Queen's Ladies, is sick with worry, but I've tried to keep up her spirits by riding with her as often as I can. _

_Your mother has rejoined the Progress to travel south again. She said that your uncle couldn't bear to think of her alone at Stone Mountain when he and the soldiers also rode out to support General Vanget's forces. I hope that knowing Lady Virryn is safely with us now will bring you some peace of mind. _

_I'm glad you enjoyed my previous letter. I will wait to hear from you before I write to you again, so I'll also look forward to your return with every passing day. All of the olive leaves are dry now, but there's still a faint scent to them. I plan to hold you to your promise of a birthday kiss, so stay safe. Until then, I'll just have to be content with seeing you in my dreams, too. Sleep well!_

_With Warmest Regards,_

_Kel_

*************

"_Birthday kiss_?" Anniseth mockingly asked. "Just who is this person who sends you her _warmest regards_? Surely she can't be the _lady squire_, the one to whom you had to pay such a hefty fine for your transgressions ... or can she?"

Startled by Anniseth's presence, Joren nearly jumped out of his skin. Then his cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink as his anger and embarrassment took over. How dared she to sneak a peek at his personal and _private_ mail? He quickly refolded Kel's letter, stuffed it into his pocket, and then he turned to glare ferociously at his sister.

"Anniseth!" he growled through clenched teeth. "I've been wondering when you would return to your usual, sneaky ways. Spying over my shoulder is really low - even for you."

"Tsk! Tsk! Little brother, you shouldn't be so mean to me in my _fragile_ state," Anniseth said in an overly-sweet voice, "Wait! Are you playing some sort of elaborate trick on the lady squire? Are you leading her on for your own cruel satisfaction or ... or is this a ploy to recover your funds from the trial?"

Joren answered her with stony-faced silence.

"Great Mother Goddess!" Anniseth exclaimed, her eyes widening with understanding, "If you're not scheming, then ... can it be true? Are you really in love with _her_ as much as that letter seems to show her to be in love with _you_?"

Joren's nostrils flared, but he pressed his lips together and refused to answer his sister's invasive questions. Anniseth casually descended the rest of the stairs and tried to glide past him, but he grabbed her arm and swung her around to face him. Her mischievous smirk told him that she'd definitely figured out more about his relationship with Kel than he wished she had. Joren barely restrained himself from shaking Anniseth hard; he remembered that she was pregnant and released her. He had no intention of behaving the way their father would have.

"Yes! I see it now - you _are_ in love with this Keladry of Mindelan, aren't you?" Anniseth tilted her head to the side and looked directly into her brother's sky-blue eyes before continuing to speak in a teasing tone, "Although, it's hard to believe that any _one_ woman would be enough for the son of Lord Burchard, especially one that's neither blond-haired nor blue-eyed. Does the lady squire know of your reputation with the other ladies? Ah, well, I suppose with _her_ reputation, you two are a matched set in that regard. Whatever would our esteemed father have said? I'm sure he _never_ would have approved such a match - he'd rather have died first."

It took every shred of Joren's self-control not to hit his sister. His body shook with the effort as he kept his clenched fists down by his sides. This was the same way he'd felt when he was a very young boy and his mother forbade him to retaliate against Anniseth's cruel remarks about his girlish face or long, pretty hair. He was beginning to lose his internal battle, when a deep voice came from beyond the open door of the main sitting room.

"Anniseth! That's enough!" Fenton sounded every bit the lord of the manor as he came out into the foyer and chastised his wife, "Stop tormenting Joren. Your brother's romantic interests are no more _your_ business than your past adventures ever were _his_ business. We are preparing for a very long journey - one where there will be plenty of opportunities for him and me to sit next to a tavern's hearth and tell lots of stories. I _know_ you don't want me to tell Joren _our_ romantic secrets whilst we make our way to Corus, hmm? Now apologize to him and then _leave the man alone!_"

Joren's sister gave him one more glare before her expression softened and she became the gracious hostess again. "Please forgive my lack of courtesy toward you, brother. I truly hope you'll find happiness with whomever you decide to give your heart." Then she curtsied to him, nodded to her husband and flounced down the hallway toward the kitchens.

There was nothing that Joren could say after that; he was dumbfounded. He'd never seen _anyone_ cause such a change in his sister's behavior - not his mother, not the Daughters of the Goddess at the convent school, and certainly not their father. He stared at Fenton in shocked disbelief.

Fenton shrugged and said, "It only took a few spankings in front of my entire family for her to realize that I _will_ be obeyed in this castle. Now that my mother has retired to one of the smaller manor houses on the eastern side of the estate, Anniseth is the Lady of Trenell and she understands that she must be above such poor behavior."

"But ... but you don't understand," Joren blinked quickly and said, "Anniseth, she ... she's _never _apologized to me like that before."

"Oh, I understand, alright," Fenton chuckled, "I use to tolerate all her little snits and tantrums when I was courting her in Tortall - I actually thought they were cute. But I had to put my foot down after I brought her home to Maren. I will have _peace _in my house - and your sister certainly knows that I expect her to behave like a proper lady now." Then he turned and went back into the sitting room to continue reading his book.

After that astonishing encounter, Joren figured it would be quite the fascinating journey home. There was so much for him to see in Maren and now there was no doubt in the young lord's mind that while they traveled, his brother-in-law would tell him some very interesting stories about his life with Anniseth. Joren really anticipated getting on the road soon. Good stories along the way definitely would make the time seem to go faster.

* * *

_They came to Corus as the last leaves fell from the trees. The Grand Progress was over at last._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

It had been almost two months since Kel had received a letter from Joren. Lady Virryn had informed her of Joren's revised travel route, so she wasn't as worried about him as she would have been otherwise, but she still missed him terribly. One cold morning after she finished her weapons training, she trudged back to her rooms, hoping against all hope that there would be a letter waiting for her there. Her face lit up when she recognized Joren's beloved, messy scrawl on the folded parchment on her desk and she quickly opened it.

******************

_To Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_Fief Trenell, Kingdom of Maren_

_August 17, 458 H.E._

_Dear Kel,_

_Do not worry about me - please. I was able to contact my uncle by using mage messages and he advised me to stay away from the northern routes through the mountains. I hate the idea of a months-long journey to get home, but I will do as he has asked and stay out of danger for the time being. My brother-in-law, Lord Fenton, and some of his men-at-arms will come with me and my men all the way to Tortall, so I'll be fine. It's good to know that you've seen my mother and that she is traveling with the Progress now. I'm sorry that we are missing out on all the action at the border, but I'm glad that you're safe, too. May the gods all bless and protect us both from harm until we meet again._

_Yours truly,_

_Joren_

******************

Kel let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in. It was one thing for Joren's mother to say that he was coming home by a different route than he'd originally planned, but it was another thing entirely to see it in writing by Joren's own hand. A tiny shiver traveled down her spine as she also noticed that he'd written the words "_Yours Truly_" above his signature this time. Excitement, anticipation and a little bit of fear made Kel's pulse race as she thought about what might happen upon the traveling knight's return.

* * *

_The weeks before Midwinter were quiet. The court had gotten all the parties and banquets it could stand, and everyone worried about the situation in the north. Kel looked in vain for ... Neal and Owen. By Midwinter she had to face it: they had stayed. It was going to be a long winter. She couldn't even hope for letters. Little came south once the snows began to fall._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

On his long journey, Joren had lost a bit of weight, but his muscles were still solid from all of the riding and sword work he'd been doing. Every day, no matter where the group had stopped, Joren did his morning exercises to stay limber and maintain his skills. Fenton usually joined the young knight every other day, preferring to use some early mornings as times to write letters or to locate mages who could get messages back and forth to Trenell.

Joren and his entourage, including Lord Fenton and his men-at-arms from Trenell, arrived in Persopolis in time for Midwinter. The exhausted knight sent Kel a messenger to let her know where he was and that he was alright. Lady Virryn was ecstatic to be reunited with her son and she was glad to have a house full of people with whom they could celebrate the holidays. All of the men were grateful for the widow's hospitality, even though it felt strange for them to spend Midwinter in such a warm and sunny place.

Two days after the longest day of the year, Virryn hosted a small belated-birthday celebration for Joren's nineteenth birthday. He had forgotten about it completely while he and the others were traveling to Tortall. Later that evening, Virryn watched her son carefully as he restlessly paced back and forth around the garden. She knew that Joren desperately wanted to see Keladry of Mindelan before she left the palace again and she knew that he also wanted to ride north and assist Langdon on the Scanran border. His inner conflicts caused him to frown a lot and the worried widow decided to speak with her son.

Virryn walked up behind Joren and said to him, "Come here, sit down on the bench and talk to me." She patted the stone bench under the olive tree. "You've told me many things about your exciting travels so far, now tell me what's causing you to pace around right now?" She reached up to smooth the whiskers of his new mustache, which made him look somewhat more mature. "Is it the conflict along the border that's bothering you so much?"

Sighing, Joren sat down next to his mother and clasped her hand within his, "Mother, I don't know what to do next. I want to go north to the border where Uncle Langdon is so that I can be right in the thick of things against the Scanrans. It's just the sort of thing I've always wanted to do as a knight. But ... but he has pleaded with me not to come. His last letter said that ... that because I don't have an heir at this time, he cannot condone my participation up north. He even says he'll petition the king to remove me from the area if I do go there."

"Langdon's right, you know," Virryn said, nodding slowly, "You have many, many responsibilities to Stone Mountain that you haven't even begun to fulfill yet. He'd be worried to distraction if you went up there and that wouldn't be fair to him. Besides, I don't even want to think about what he'd do if you got as much as a scratch anywhere on your body. Burchard's compulsion probably would kill him, if anything happened to you."

"I understand all that," Joren insisted, "But it feels _wrong_ for me to sit down here in the desert, enjoying the holidays in the sunshine, while everyone else is slogging through the snow and ice, defending our northern border."

"What about the knights and other nobles who are in Corus?" Virryn asked. "Only a handful of men went back north after the Progress ended. And what about Squire Keladry? I'm certain that she'd really like to see you and she's not up on the border, either."

Joren shook his head and said, "I'm sure it's only a matter of time before she and Lord Raoul head up north, too. Of course, I _do_ want to go to Corus and see Kel, but I ... I don't know if I should do that right now, Mother."

Now Virryn looked confused, "Why do you say that?"

"Squire Keladry and I ... we ... we've been writing to each other for a long time now," Joren finally blurted out. "And I've really missed seeing her these past months. I want to be with Kel so much, it actually might be dangerous for me to go anywhere near her. I don't know if I'd be able to control myself. Not right now, anyway."

"That's ... that's very considerate of you, dear," Virryn tried to sound reassuring, but she felt awkward as she said, "I'm quite certain that the lady squire wears a special charm to ... to ward off pregnancy, if that's your main concern. Apparently most of the young ladies wear them nowadays - in case of an attack from a renegade Immortal or something."

Joren blushed, "Yes ... um, I know, but that's not ... well, that's not really the point here, Mother. You see, I don't want to force myself upon her. Kel deserves much better than that from me - from anybody - and I still hope she'll let me court her openly after she becomes a knight next year. I'm trying very hard not to ruin any chances of that happening."

Virryn shifted uncomfortably and then said something that she'd never imagined saying to her son, "Perhaps you should ... ah, make an appointment at one of those ... those _establishments_ your father used to visit from time to time. Then you'd ... um, be calmer ... I suppose." She looked down at her hands in her lap, ashamed.

At first, Joren was so shocked that he just stared silently at his mother. Then he spoke firmly, "Mother, I can't ... I _won't_ do that - not anymore. None of those 'ladies' are the kind of lady I want, anyway. No, I want Kel, but I can't have her yet. She's asked me to wait until after she has earned her shield and I'm willing to respect that."

"Then ... then stay here," Virryn looked up with hope making her eyes bright. "Stay with me - we can tell the others that I'm not feeling well and that we think it'll be best for you to stay with me here in Persopolis for the time being. That definitely would satisfy your uncle's request. Remember, my poor health is the reason I came down here in the first place. And now that I think about it, there are several knights in this area, including your friend, Sir Zahir ibn Alhaz. Contrary to what you might think, not _all _knights are headed north, so you won't be alone down here. Someone has to protect our other borders, too. I do understand that much about military matters."

Joren smiled and hugged his mother tightly. He felt better than he had in days. His mother's solution was nearly perfect. Every point she'd made was logical and he knew that most people - even Kel - would be able to understand and respect his reasons for staying in Persopolis. He also knew that he'd eventually have to go north to both Corus and Stone Mountain, but for now, Joren decided he'd just wait until after Kel went away on another mission with her knight-master. That way, he could continue to 'court' her with his letters and avoid seeing her until he figured out how to keep a tighter rein on his self-control. Joren's good intentions all crumbled away when Kel's next letter to him, along with a small package, arrived on the following day.

*************

_To Lord Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_The Royal Palace at Corus_

_January 7, 459 H.E._

_Dear Joren,_

_Welcome home! I was so surprised - and very happy - when the messenger found me and gave me the news that you had made it as far as Persopolis. I know Lady Virryn must be overjoyed to have you there with her to celebrate Midwinter. Speaking of the holidays, I'm sending you a small token of a gift now, but I have a better gift to give to you when you get here. It's sort of a combination birthday gift and Midwinter gift and congratulations for you being a knight for a full year already. It's also something you've wanted for a very long time and I think you'll like it very much. I hope I will, too. May the gods all bless and keep you safe until we see each other, which I hope will be very soon!_

_Yours Truly,_

_Kel_

*************

As if Kel's letter wasn't enough to make his pulse race, the contents of the small package nearly were Joren's undoing. Her small gift to him was an oblong piece of scented soap - _her_ soap - delicately carved into the shape of a bed pillow. He was certain that it was Kel's handiwork and it was obvious to him what she meant by it. Joren didn't even think twice before he bounded up to his room and began to pack.

Every evening, Spencer usually placed a pitcher of fruit juice and a tray of sliced bread and cheese out on the table so that his master could have a light snack before he went to bed. Joren decided to have some juice while he packed a small trunk of clothes and other things to take with him to Marbleton House. He planned to travel light and fast so that he could get to Corus before Kel went anywhere else. The excited young knight was so preoccupied with his thoughts of bedding the woman he loved that he failed to notice the fire wasp on the inside edge of his cup until it was too late.

Bazhir gardeners considered fire wasps to be beneficial insects because they were so territorial that they killed off any other insects that tried to enter 'their' garden. However, the wasps did not damage the fruits and vegetables themselves. Some Bazhir tribes even used the wasps' venom to coat the tips of their arrows so that their enemies would suffer excruciating pain when hit. People rarely died from a fire wasp's sting, but they felt horrible for weeks afterward, even after they took the antidote for the poisonous venom.

By the time the healer got to Joren, the young lord's entire body felt like it had been dipped into fiery flames. His face was so swollen that he barely could see out of his eyes and his lips were so huge that his mother had difficulty understanding his words. When the healer informed him that he'd have to stay in bed for at least two weeks while the antidote did its work, Joren wanted to cry, but he couldn't even manage that through all the swelling. There wouldn't be a trip to Corus - and to Kel's bed - after all.

* * *

_King Jonathan glared at Raoul. You acted like a sullen, spoiled child who's told he has to do chores."_

_"I didn't take this post to spend nights bowing and fussing!" snapped Raoul, his cheeks redder yet. "I took it to do something __**real**__. If you want a dancing master, get Glaisdan and the First down here!"_

_The king flinched. Lord Raoul looked at him, then at Sir Myles. Very quietly Myles said, "Glaisdan of Haryse is dead."_

_Kel froze; so did Raoul and Flyndan. Finally Raoul asked, "What happened?" in a much softer voice._

_"He heard of a late autumn raid on Carmine Tower. He thought two squads would be enough to capture the raiders. One man made it back." Myles rubbed his eyes. "He said Glaisdan misinterpreted trail signs and took them into the middle of a three-clan war party."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

On a chilly day in late March, Kel stood in as a witness when her cousin, Tressa of Seabeth and Seajen, eloped by becoming hand-fasted to Sergeant Branford Pearlman. Bran was the sole survivor of the Scanran attack on the two squads of First Company who died due to Commander Glaisdan of Haryse's incompetent leadership. The young couple decided that the gods had spared Bran's life so that Tressa wouldn't die of a broken heart.

The young Queen's Lady already had lost one brother and one cousin when the Scanran wolf-ships came ashore and attacked her home fiefs. If she had lost Bran, too, Tressa's grief would have driven her insane in a short amount of time. Even though Bran's married status would cause him to have to resign from the King's Own, his personal mental state was such that he could not have performed his duties as a soldier anymore, anyway. After witnessing his friends and soldiers slaughtered in front of him - the Scanrans had chosen him at random to be the only survivor so that he could take a message back to his leaders - Branford Pearlman was a broken man. Tressa was ready, willing and able to do whatever she needed to do to mend her new husband.

Kel was relieved that her cousin could have such happiness in the midst of her family's sad losses. It seemed to her that there were some people, like Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami, who were delaying their wedding plans until the situation with Scanra improved, while others, like Tressa and Bran, didn't want to wait for something else bad to happen to prevent them from being married. She also figured that, due to the extreme circumstances, her Uncle Kinrath was more likely to forgive his rebellious daughter quickly for eloping with a commoner, even though Bran happened to be the son of wealthy jewel merchants.

Tressa and Bran's hand-fasting ceremony was simple, yet beautiful. Kel never had been to a wedding between worshippers of the Goddess, so she hadn't ever seen the way that the magically blessed ribbons dissolved into the skin of a hand-fasted couple. She was quite fascinated by the entire event. The whole atmosphere at the temple of the Goddess made Kel's heart ache with longing for Joren.

She felt foolish now for having offered herself to him as a 'present,' especially because he hadn't been able to come to Corus since then. Lady Virryn had written to Kel, explaining why her son wasn't able to visit her and that eased her mind a tiny bit. Of course, Kel felt sorry for Joren having to endure the agony of his wasp-sting injury, but she felt worse as she began to think that perhaps he was having second thoughts about their relationship. After all, every time either one of them tried to move beyond 'just kissing' something unexpected always prevented that from happening. Perhaps, Kel thought, the gods really didn't want them to be together. The lady squire didn't know how very wrong she was.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"That was just plain mean!" said the Trickster, popping in to scold his divine sister. "Why did you do that? I thought you liked your new little 'toy,' but now I'm not so sure."

The Goddess peered haughtily at her tricky brother and said, "Once again, even though I don't have to explain my actions to _you_, I will. I did what I did out of necessity. I don't want them together yet, and it would be excessively unkind to keep changing around the girl's moon cycle. Besides, it was time for the young lord to experience a bit of humility. Mortals like him suffer from an overabundance of vanity and it's quite difficult for them to go a-courting when they don't look their best. With his swollen face and painful skin, I don't believe my 'toy' has left his mother's dwelling since the wasp stung him - even though he's feeling much better now."

"Still ... why did you do that?" the Trickster repeated his question.

"I _want_ that sacrifice!" she proclaimed, her eyes flashing. "Very few of the so-called noble-born mortals ever give me such a treat. This time, I'm going to 'help' them. The girl has to stay a virgin until they are married."

The Trickster was shaking his head as he slowly faded away and the Goddess could barely hear him, but it sounded like he'd sarcastically said, "Those lucky, _lucky_ mortals."

* * *

_They were traveling again, but the difference made Kel edgy and eager. The men called war "going to see the kraken." Krakens were sea-monsters so rare and powerful that none of the few who'd survived an encounter with one forgot the experience, just as nobody forgot his first encounter with war...._

_After a day at Northwatch with General Vanget, Raoul and Flyndan led Third Company to the meadow that was to be their northern home. It was between the fiefdoms of Trebond and Carmine Tower, meant to serve as a plug for this hole in the border defenses._

_Their first task was to build a permanent camp...._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Throughout the rest of winter and into the spring, Joren stayed busy in Persopolis. He offered his sword arm to the city officials and he was pleasantly surprised when Zahir asked him to be his partner when they went out on patrols. The hill bandits had made some very bold moves against the more isolated villages in the eastern corner of the desert. Many city officials believed that Tusaini spies had infiltrated the ranks of the bandits to determine if the Tortallans wouldn't notice them due to their focus on the troubles up north.

Kel finally had gone north while Joren still didn't feel or look his best. She sent Joren detailed letters every week, explaining about the construction of Third Company's new fort and the patrols she went on and the boredom she felt at times. There were no further comments about her previous invitation to him, although she continued to end her letters with the words '_Yours Truly_' above her signature.

Joren's weekly letters to Kel always included a few fresh leaves from the olive tree and he always found ways let her know how much he really cared about her. Still, Kel wondered if the handsome knight would find someone else while she was away. It had been such a long time since they had seen each other, held each other or kissed. She decided that she wouldn't blame him for not waiting for her and she began to prepare her heart for the inevitable. One extremely boring afternoon, when Kel was feeling sorry for herself, an unscheduled delivery of supplies came in from Corus - it included a large number of bottles in crates and a note for the lady squire.

*************

_To Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_Villa al-Hajar, Persopolis_

_May 12, 459 H.E._

_Dear Kel,_

_I miss you so much that it feels like I'm thirsty all the time and the only drink that will quench my thirst is you. _

_I hope this shipment of Dunmoor wines arrives at your location before your eighteenth birthday. There should be enough bottles for all of the men at the fort to toast to your good health. Once again, it pains me to miss yet another one of your special days, but I hope this will be the last time. I am waiting for you - not very patiently, I might add - and I look forward to your return at Midwinter. I'm tired of seeing you only in my dreams. Please be careful and may the gods all bless and keep you safe until we meet again._

_Happy Birthday, Kel!_

_Love,_

_Joren_

*************

Kel's breath caught in her throat and her heart pounded in her chest. Not only was Joren still waiting for her, but he also had remembered her birthday in quite the grand style. The Lord of Stone Mountain probably had won the everlasting gratitude of all the men of Third Company by sending so much of his uncle's fine wine to them. Last, but certainly not least, Kel noticed that he'd changed the final words above his signature once again. Joren loved her - and he'd finally said it in writing.

* * *

_Thus it went through the summer: multiple small attacks like biting flies as Scanrans hit and ran. Kel fought twice in June, five times in July...._

_The hit-and-run battles had one good result. No one, not even Flyn, questioned her ability to fight anymore._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

As the summer wore on and autumn drew nearer, Kel and Joren continued to exchange love letters. Sometimes they'd mention the major events of the week, such as his skirmishes with bandits or her fighting against Scanran raiding parties, but mostly they talked about how much they missed each other. Still, Kel didn't mention her invitation to Joren anymore and he didn't ask.

The amorous young knight had spoken with a Bazhir healer who gave him a special blend of tea to diminish his cravings for Kel - or any other woman for that matter. It was what the desert tribesmen gave to their warriors whenever they planned to be gone from their tents for a very long time because it allowed the men to focus on their tasks and not to worry about what or who they were missing between their blankets.

Knowing that he had to be able to control himself completely whenever he saw Kel again, Joren had become desperate for an answer to his problem. He thanked all the gods that he'd been able to confide in his old friend, Zahir. The newly-married Bazhir knight drank the special tea every time they went out on a long patrol together and he swore that it worked like a charm. Now when Kel's letters arrived, Joren was able to read them and not become uncomfortably aroused.

*************

_To Lord Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Squire Keladry of Mindelan_

_Third Company's Fort, Northern Tortall_

_September 20, 459 H.E._

_Dear Joren,_

_I miss you._

_Lord Raoul just informed me that it's almost time for him and me to head south before the snows start to fall and clog up all of the passes. We've been so busy fighting Scanrans and wondering when or if they would be sending another one of those strange machines - the ones that I told you about in my last letter - to attack us. I barely noticed the changing colors of the leaves until Lord Raoul brought them to my attention. I'm sad to leave the fort and everyone here behind, but I'm excited to be going back to the palace. _

_I'll admit that I'm a bit nervous about the Ordeal, but there's really no choice, is there? I want to be a knight - it's all I've ever wanted, and yet, there are other things that I want now, too. I suppose you and I will need to find the time to have a little chat about some of those things. I think you know why._

_As much as I want to be with you, I think it will be best if someone stays with us while we talk. I hope you can understand. Even so, I can't wait to see you and I'm already wondering how you'll manage to steal some more kisses. Of course, it's not really stealing anymore, since all my kisses belong to you anyway. May the gods grant you sweet dreams until we meet again._

_Love, _

_Kel _

*************

Joren swallowed hard. Kel finally was returning to Corus. Her time to face the Chamber of the Ordeal was coming up fast. His time to face her father and request a formal courtship was coming up even faster. He'd recently heard that Kel's parents would be accompanying Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami on their 'honeymoon trip' to the Yamani Islands as soon after their wedding as possible. Whatever else he did, Joren knew that he had to speak with Baron Piers of Mindelan _before_ Kel went into the Chamber. He wasted no time in making his preparations to travel north to the capital city. Joren planned to be ready for Kel whenever she arrived.

* * *

**A/N: Phew! Over 15 _thousand_ words and it's all one chapter! I can hardly believe that I'm almost through with the ****Squire****years. :D Just to let you all know, regardless of whether or not Joren went into the Chamber several chapters ago, I would have sent him away to Maren for a while. I still have to figure out someplace else for him to go, because there are some parts of Kel's story that I don't want to change and Joren's physical presence will be a major distraction. ;D I hope you liked the time jumps - in fact, I'm sure that those of you who want more fluff probably welcome the fact that I'm trying to speed things up a bit. I hope you enjoyed this chapter well enough to leave me another review, even though I'm still horribly behind on replying to the ones you've already sent. Thanks! :D**


	57. Permission

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I just finished reading the final book of the Pendragon series, so my mind has been inundated with first-person narrative. Yes, I'm trying _that_ again. ;P I hope you like it this time. No real fluff here, other than the implied kind, but you'll see that's the way it has to be. ;D Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Kel enjoyed the ride south. She and Raoul set their own pace, not having to rush to a crisis or dawdle in a dusty train of nobles. They had chosen a perfect time to go: The realm was dressed in fall gold and the air was heady._

_One day in mid-October they halted on top of a bluff. Corus sprawled on both sides of the Olorun below. Opposite, on the southern heights, was the palace._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Permission**

While Kel and Raoul traveled south, Joren and Lady Virryn traveled north. The Lord of Stone Mountain and his mother decided that they would visit Barony Dunmoor for a harvest festival first and then they would go to Corus to spend part of the winter at Marbleton House. There were meetings at the palace that the young lord needed to attend and he wanted to get an update from his new steward while he was in town.

Joren also had written to Kel's father, asking for an appointment to speak with him at the older man's earliest convenience. Therefore, when he arrived at Marbleton House, the Lord of Stone Mountain was not surprised to discover an invitation for him and his mother to attend supper at the Corus town home of the Baron and Lady of Mindelan. He suddenly had to fight the panic he felt when he realized that he wasn't exactly sure how to ask Kel's father to give him permission to court his youngest daughter.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

_A Father's Thoughts:_

_Permission. He'll want my permission to court my daughter. That's why he's coming here. I've been through this before - four times before, to be exact. I should be used to this ordeal by now, but this time it's different - very different. This time it's for the child of my heart, my youngest girl, my Kel._

_I suppose it's my own fault for allowing all of my girls to have so much of a say in the process of finding good matches for them. I remember the first time - that was a near disaster! My command of the Yamani language was not what it should have been and I simply didn't understand what was happening when __Toshuro noh Akaneru__ requested a contract from me. Fortunately, Ilane knew that our oldest daughter, my beautiful Patricine, was flattered by the bold Yamani knight's attention to her, especially since most Yamani men didn't consider the girls from other places in the Eastern lands to be attractive at all. _

_Demadina's husband was a mistake. I should have known better than to allow a man from such a stiff and formal family to court the most free-spirited of my girls. She was stubborn, too, and quite adamant that Gelvan haMinch was the only person she'd ever consider courting her. Mithros! I never knew she was capable of such arguments and pouting and angry glares. Before I could slow things down, they were betrothed and then married._

_My Demi used to smile all the time; she used to be a happy young lady, but now her only joy comes from her children. I wish I had followed my own intuition that time, instead of letting her pretty eyes - so much like her mother's - sway me into letting her have her way. Now, it breaks my heart to see that there is so little sparkle left in her eyes._

_Thank the gods that Adalia and Oranie's courtships were so simple. I had a little bit of a scare when Adie thought she fancied Demi's brother-in-law, but thankfully Merovec of Nond caught her eye. I wouldn't have allowed another Minchi marriage, anyway. Even though the House of Nond is filled with conservatives, they seem to be calmer and more reasonable than the haMinch clan. My Adie is quite happy these days, and of all my sons-in-law, Mero is the one with whom I can have long, interesting and informative conversations._

_The recent birth of Oranie's first child - a son - has only served to puff up my fourth daughter's already considerable pride. I've heard that she's been gloating to her sisters that she knew all along how well-matched she and her husband, Ortien of Hannalof, would be when she'd first laid eyes on him. Like Demi, Orie also declared that there was only one man for her. Fortunately, I liked the young lawyer, too, and he has been very good to my daughter. _

_And now, it seems that it's Keladry's turn. Honestly, I didn't think this would happen for her. When she begged me to allow her to train to become a knight, of course I couldn't refuse her. And as my brave Kel endured the harassment and open ridicule of the realm's conservatives, as well as those horrid rumors about her lack of virtue, I understood that that most men never would see her as a good match. _

_There was a fleeting hope when Inness' former squire, Cleon of Kennan, showed such a keen interest in Keladry. If only he hadn't had such terrible financial difficulties after his father died. Oh, well. I certainly never imagined that the only one who would be bold enough to step forward and ask me for permission to court my Kel is the very same man who hurt her the most during her page years._

_Truthfully, in my heart and in my mind, my youngest daughter became her own person long ago. She has proven time and again that she truly is noble and courageous and that she can take care of herself - both in the banquet halls and on the battlefield. My Kel is a strong young woman and she'll do well no matter what she decides to do with her life. Therefore, I suppose I am not the person from whom her prospective suitor should seek permission for courtship. Indeed, in my opinion, the only one who may grant such permission is Kel herself._

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The evening of the supper party, Joren changed his outfit three times. The ever-patient Spencer finally convinced the vain young man to wear a simple black velvet tunic over a sky-blue satin shirt and white hose. The effect was somewhat formal, but that was fine. Joren wanted to make the best impression he possibly could make.

Even though Lady Virryn had befriended the Kel's parents during the Progress, Joren still couldn't be sure of where he stood with them. As far as he knew, Baron Piers might be nursing a deeply-held grudge against him for the Balor's Needle incident. By the time the young Lord of Stone Mountain and Lady Virryn entered the Mindelan's large and modestly decorated town house, Joren wished that the palms of his hands would stop sweating so much.

"Lord Joren, Lady Virryn," Baron Piers greeted his guests with a bow, "It is an honor to have you visiting our home."

Lady Ilane curtsied and said, "We're so pleased that you accepted our invitation. We still remember with great fondness the supper party at your lovely villa in Persopolis. Please, join us in the dining room." And the servants led them into the cozy space.

During the meal, most of the conversation was light and casual. Baron Piers shared some stories about the Yamani Islands and Joren shared a few stories about his travels though Maren. Kel's father had visited the large country only once, but he remembered the immense expanses of rich farmland which provided a lot of the produce and grain for all of the Eastern Lands. After everyone had finished dessert, the ladies went to the sitting room for tea while Piers asked Joren to join him in his office.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

_A Father's Thoughts:_

_Permission. He'll want my permission to court my daughter. But I'm no longer the one who can give it to him. Ah well, he doesn't know that and I doubt that my daughter truly understands what has happened, either. From what Ilane has told me, it seems that Joren has been courting Kel for quite a while already. My daughter gave him permission the moment she kissed him back. Nevertheless, I suppose it's only proper that Joren should believe that he must come to me now. This is the way it's usually done._

_Honestly! Joren is just as much on-edge as all of my other sons-in-law were the first time they came to see me. I thought he'd be a pompous ass, like his late father, coming into my house and demanding to have my daughter as his own. Of course, _then_ I'd have tossed him out of Kel's life without any remorse at all. That's what I should have done with Gelvan haMinch, who was so calm and sure of himself when he sought my permission to court Demi. Blast it all! Stone Mountain is behaving like a perfect gentleman. Mithros! I suppose I'll have to hear him out now. _

_At least I know that he has become a better man than he was when he faced my courageous Kel in the courtroom so long ago. Joren truly impressed me by coming off of his official mourning status to vote for the changes in the laws._ _I thought his father's old friends would keel over from the shock of it. And recently, during a meeting with the Lord Magistrate to discuss some legal matters concerning our trade agreements with the Yamanis, Duke Turomot surprised me by speaking very highly of the new Lord of Stone Mountain. _

_If those things weren't enough, Ilane just informed me of evidence that Kel has been exchanging very cordial letters with this young knight who, despite his later criminal actions against her, happened to be the only volunteer to sponsor our probationary page when she first arrived at the palace. I sometimes wonder if Joren actually cared for her as far back as that time, but was afraid to admit it. Even though it's obvious that Lady Virryn absolutely adores my Kel, I seriously doubt that they would be here tonight if Lord Burchard still was alive. _

_My wife doesn't fool me - she must have found and read a letter or two of Kel's to know everything that she knows. Ilane always has had a knack for finding out how our children really feel about the people in their lives. I doubt that our daughter knows about her mother's snooping ways, though, and I'm fine with that. It's good to have 'secret' sources of information and I thank the gods that Ilane always knows what's happening in our family._

_I suppose I'll have to make the first move, as usual, but it'll be interesting to see how _this_ young man will respond. Obviously, there's nothing I can say or do that will make him less nervous. Perhaps his nervousness is a good thing - let's see if I can make him squirm. Now, it's time for our little 'dance' to begin. _

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Joren sat across the desk from Baron Piers and wondered if he should speak up first. So far, Kel's father had been kind and gracious to him and his mother. The meal of roasted pheasant and mashed potatoes with spicy brown gravy had been excellent. Those were two of Joren's favorite dishes from Stone Mountain and he wondered how Kel's parents had discovered his personal preferences. The dessert, warm ginger cake with vanilla cream sauce, also was one of his favorites when he was a child. Just as Joren was about to open his mouth to ask a question, Baron Piers cleared his throat.

"Lord Joren, you requested an appointment with me," Piers' long-lashed hazel eyes looked directly into the blond lord's blue eyes, but he gave no indication of his mood, "And while I'm not certain that you were expecting an invitation to supper, I trust that the meal was to your liking."

Joren blinked. It was as though Kel's father had read his thoughts and now he was a bit unnerved. His voice wavered slightly as he spoke nervously, "Y-yes, sir, Baron Piers. Everything was ... um, quite delicious. I especially liked the ginger cake. In fact, I thought our cook at Stone Mountain was the only one who made such a simple desert. Cook's mother, I think, originally came from Scanra and she told me that they use a lot of ginger in their cooking. Your cook must be from the north, also." Then he winced at how ridiculous he sounded. Why he suddenly remembered that bit of trivia was beyond his comprehension. Why he'd kept talking about such things was embarrassing. If Joren could have slapped his forehead without looking sillier, he would have done so.

"Well, I'm certain that tonight's dessert was a recipe from the Yamani Islands," Piers stated, making his face blank, "It's one of our family's favorites. The Yamani cooks use a fair amount of ginger in their cooking and we grew fond of its flavor when we lived there. I wonder if Scanran raiders discovered ginger's unique taste by stealing it from the islands."

"I ... I have no idea, Baron Piers," Joren said, feeling horrible because he could feel the heat in his now-rosy cheeks. This conversation was not going the way he had envisioned it.

"I'm also certain that we're not here to discuss tonight's dessert," Piers said calmly, "What's really on your mind, Lord Joren?"

Joren swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "Sir ... I ... I would like to ask ... um, if you would be willing to ... ah, give me permission to court your daughter, Keladry ... sir."

Piers was quiet for a long time - mostly just to toy with Joren's mind - but also because he really did want to say what was on his heart. He hoped to convey his feelings in such a way that the young lord would understand where they both stood with regard to Kel's ability and right to choose her own destiny. And then, remembering what Ilane had told him about the young couple's exchanging of letters, he changed his mind.

"How long have you been writing to my daughter, Lord Joren?" Piers asked without any vocal inflection at all.

Joren's heart almost stopped. Had Kel broken her promise not to show his letters to anyone? His mind was spinning. Of course, he never asked her not to _tell_ anyone about the letters, but he had hoped that she would keep quiet about them, especially to her parents. His first urge was to lie about the letters, but that would be futile - and stupid, because the baron obviously knew about them already.

"Well, Baron Piers," Joren began slowly, "I ... we began writing to one another shortly after the ... ah ... shortly after my trial, sir. It was under the direction of Lord Wyldon ... actually. He ... he thought that Ke--, um, your daughter could help me with my writing skills. Which, of course, she has ... sir."

"I see." Piers suppressed a smile before he asked his next question, "Lord Joren, it seems that you have spent a great deal of time with my daughter - here at the palace and then again while you both were in the desert and then during the early part of the Progress. Tell me, have you ever ... _kissed_ Keladry?"

Joren almost choked this time. He wisely decided he'd better stick to the truth, no matter what; however, he also decided only to provide the _precise_ information Baron Piers requested. "Uh ... yes sir, I have kissed her."

Of course, Piers already knew the answer to that question and he was somewhat relieved that Joren hadn't attempted to lie to him. Now for the hard part, he asked, "When, _exactly_, was the first time you kissed Keladry ... and she kissed you back?"

Joren's mouth went dry even as he felt a trickle of sweat slide down the side of his face. He _really_ didn't want to answer that question. How was he supposed to answer a request for such precise information when he knew it was highly likely to cause a negative reaction? Taking another deep and shaky breath, Joren spoke very slowly, "Sir ... I believe ... I ... _we_ kissed ... for ... um, the very first time ... at ... um ... at your ... older daughter's wedding."

Piers was so surprised that he had to clench his jaw tightly to keep from raising his eyebrows. The diplomatic ambassador to the Yamani Islands had an outward calmness that was hard to rattle, but he was quite agitated on the inside now. Ilane told him that their daughter and the young man sitting in front of him now had kissed sometime after a Midwinter celebration a few years earlier, _not_ at Adalia's wedding. Mithros! He almost was afraid to ask any other questions because he no longer thought he'd like the answers.

"You _believe_ it was at my older daughter's wedding?" He repeated in a stony voice, to give himself time to calm down. "I do remember that you were in attendance when Adalia and Merovec's got married, which was ... almost _five years_ ago. That's a mighty long time to wait to ask for my permission to court my daughter."

"She was only a _page_ then, sir!" Joren blurted out before he realized that he'd made it sound even worse. Fearing that Kel's father was preparing to throw him out of his office, Joren braced himself against a tirade that never came.

The Baron of Mindelan sighed heavily to release his own sudden tension and continued in his stony voice which reminded Joren very much of Lord Wyldon, "Young man, I'm finding it quite difficult to understand why you feel the need to request my permission to court my daughter _now_, especially since it is so obvious to me that you have exhibited behavior befitting a courtship for such a long time. At this point, with any of my other daughters, we would be discussing betrothal contracts and hasty marriage arrangements, instead of continuing a well-established courtship, in order to protect any remaining shreds of a virtuous reputation. With Keladry, however, there is her training to consider and the fact that she must undergo her Ordeal in the very near future. This is not the right time to even _think_ about marrying my daughter, Lord Joren!"

"Baron Piers, I can assure you," Joren hastily said, "Keladry and I have only kissed - nothing more!"

"I know of your _reputation_, Lord Joren," Piers' hold on his emotions was growing weaker and his eyes narrowed slightly, "Do you honestly expect me to sit here and believe that you haven't already bedded my daughter? Or at least tried to do so?"

Joren closed his eyes in defeat. He didn't think his answer would make Kel's father very happy. He'd never thought about the implications of his behavior - the stolen kisses, the letters, or even his inebriated attempt at a marriage proposal. Kel's father clearly would see all of those things as courtship behavior and he'd be correct. Joren had studied the rules of courtly love, had he not? What had he been thinking?

Wishing that Kel was with him to explain to Baron Piers that what they'd been doing for the past few years was mostly innocent, Joren tried to think of what to say next. He was certain that she'd have done a much better job of helping her father to understand that nothing really serious had happened - yet. He decided he'd just have to continue telling the truth and hope for the best.

"Baron Piers, we both know that I would be telling lies if I said I hadn't thought about ... about being with Keladry," Joren said with confidence that he didn't quite possess. "But the strange truth is that every time I've wanted to take your daughter to bed, I haven't been able to. Honestly, I believe the gods have intervened and won't allow it to happen. Now, I ... I'm drinking a special Bazhir tea to ...to lessen my desire to do anything rash the next time I see her. I want to marry Kel someday, sir - if she'll agree to such a thing - but I _have_ to marry a virgin. It's part of a ... a family curse"

Piers looked at him with a considerable amount of skepticism, "A family curse?"

"I can explain later if you'd like," Joren replied, "Baron Piers, you must believe me when I say that I truly want to protect Kel's virtue as much as you do, sir. Maybe even more so." There! He'd said it; he'd laid all of his cards down for Kel's father to see. He only hoped the man wouldn't toss him out onto the street.

Piers silently stared at Joren for what seemed to be an eternity. Then an idea started to form in his diplomatic brain. There were some difficult trade issues between Tortall and the Yamani Islands that needed resolution. The ambassador had been planning a trip to coincide with the royal honeymoon, but it appeared that the monarchs were planning to put everything on hold until the situation with Scanra was under control. Perhaps, he could 'kill two birds with one stone' by having the young Lord of Stone Mountain accompany him to Yaman for a while - and away from his daughter - especially since the stone merchants and other agents over there were some of the main sources of the trouble. He cleared his throat and began to speak again.

"While I appreciate your candor, Lord Joren," Piers said smoothly, fully in command of his emotions now, "I doubt that you care about my daughter's virtue as much as you say you do. I, too, was young once, and it's very difficult to, shall we say, _play with fire_ as much as you two seem to have done without either of you getting burned. However, I have decided to help you live up to your good intentions."

"Sir?" Joren looked confused. "I don't understand. You ... you aren't ... angry with me?"

Piers looked directly at Joren, who now saw the resemblance between father and daughter quite distinctly, especially in the eyes. His Yamani mask of a face also reminded Joren very much of Kel. There was no telling what the baron's true feelings were at the moment.

"Oh, I'm quite upset," Piers said, without showing any outward emotions, "And I have a few ... conditions for you to meet, Lord Joren. When Keladry arrives back at the palace, I want you to stay away from her until her mother and I have had a chance to speak with her first. _I_ want to be the one to inform her that I will allow this already lengthy courtship to proceed."

"Thank you, sir!" Joren sounded relieved, "I understand, sir. I promise I'll stay away from Keladry until _you_ say that I may approach her."

"Good," Piers replied curtly, 'milking' the moment for all it was worth, "Additionally, since you say that you're interested in protecting Keladry's virtue, then I request that you accompany me on a diplomatic trip to the Yamani Islands immediately after Keladry becomes a knight. That way you will be far from the 'heat' of temptation's fire. It'll also give Kel the chance to enjoy her knighthood for a while. She's worked extremely hard to achieve her goals and I hate to think that her freedom will be so short-lived if she agrees to marry you right away. We both know - and I'm sure that she knows, too - that you have responsibilities to your House. Once you are married, your first priority will be to produce an heir."

Joren nodded slowly, "I would be honored to take a journey to the Yamani Islands with you, Baron Piers. As you know, Stone Mountain has major holdings there. I've been meaning to meet with ... with my father's agents, anyway. They're supposed to keep the stone merchants happy, but I've heard that the merchants are anything but happy at the moment." He had no intention of commenting on the baron's statement about 'temptation's fire' or the harsh reminder that he'd be taking Kel away from her knighthood in order to get her pregnant as soon as possible. Suddenly, though, Joren knew that if he thought about that particular part of his potential future with Kel, he'd need to drink a lot more of that special Bazhir tea to stay in control.

"You don't know the half of it," Piers stated vaguely and continued to speak, intrigued by the expressions of both relief and distress on the young lord's face, "And last, but certainly not least, if you truly desire a future marriage with my daughter, you must find a way to make public the fact that she's still a virgin and will remain so until the day of her wedding. I know that Kel doesn't care so much anymore about what people think of her, but I do. You helped to tarnish her reputation, Lord Joren; therefore, you can help to shine it up a bit." Then he paused dramatically and lifted his hand to stop Joren from interrupting him, "Think about these conditions and let me know what you've decided after you've taken the time to contemplate them. I don't expect, nor will I accept, any answer that you give me tonight, understand?"

Joren nodded his understanding. Then Kel's father reached across the desk to clasp forearms with the young man who might become another one of his sons-in-law someday. Overall, both men were satisfied with the outcome of the evening's discussion. When they released their mutual grip, Piers rose up from his chair and gestured to the door, "Let's go and see if the ladies have saved us any of the leftover ginger cake, alright?" And he ushered Joren out of his office.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

_A Father's Thoughts:_

_Permission. He wanted my permission to court my daughter. Little did I know that this has been _five years _in the making! What will I say to my Keladry when I see her again? She gave that young man permission to court her long ago and I never even guessed it. Even after everything Joren put her through, Kel still cares deeply for him - and I can tell that he truly cares for her, too. And I am completely amazed that he hasn't bedded her yet, especially since I know that his father never would have shown such restraint with a woman. _

_At least some good might come from all of this. If I can get the young lord to redirect his agents in the Yamani Islands, I will have accomplished more than I ever could have hoped for during his father's lifetime. And I wonder what Joren of Stone Mountain will come up with to repair my daughter's reputation. How will the people _know_ that she's still a virtuous woman, even though she has trained with and lived among the men for so long? Ah, well, that'll be _his_ challenge to figure out._

_Permission. Lord Joren of Stone Mountain wanted my permission to court my daughter, Keladry. And even though I, Baron Piers of Mindelan, am not the person he should have spoken with about this, in the depths of my heart, I've decided to give him my permission this very night. May the gods help us all!_

* * *

**A/N: There! I hope this shorter 'filler' chapter will tide you over during the weekend - I'm going away to my in-laws' 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration, and I won't have internet access for a two days. Yes, Kari of Mindelan called it - Joren's going to the Yamani Islands for a while. ;D Like I said before, there are certain things about Kel's adventures that I do not want to change very much, if at all. Of course, once Kel arrives back at the palace ... well, let's just say that I have to figure out how to keep this story's 'T' rating on solid ground. ;D Again, I truly appreciate everyone continuing to read my very long story. Please review. Thanks! :D**


	58. Officially Official

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Honestly, I'm not very happy with this chapter. It started out with Kel in first-person and then I revised it and trashed it and rewrote it again. Agh! There's some fluff in here, but it's mostly plot and character development again. ;D Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_To Raoul's disappointment, Buri was in the south with her Seventeenth Rider Group. Kel expected the K'mir's absence would mean uneven numbers in the morning glaive practices, but instead she found no lack of partners. Several young noblewomen had joined the group. Being part of the circle around Shinkokami, Kel was also called in on plans for that spring's royal wedding: after allowing the realm to recover from the Grand Progress, Roald and Shinkokami would marry at last. Kel thought asking her for wedding ideas was like asking a cat how to raise horses, but she did her best._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Officially Official**

Kel's head hurt. She hadn't heard this much giggling and whispering since her sisters' weddings. The young noblewomen who had joined the morning glaive practices were very serious during all the pattern dances. However, as soon as everyone gathered around in Princess Shinkokami's private rooms to discuss wedding plans, the high-pitched twittering nearly drove the lady squire insane. Nevertheless, since her knight-master was still sulking over the absence of his Rider friend, and the Yamani ladies clearly treasured Kel's presence, she gritted her teeth, smiled politely and allowed herself to catch up on all the palace gossip.

"Did you hear that Lady Tressa's marriage is _officially_ official now? Her father recently reinstated her as a member of his family and everything!" said one of the young ladies, Lilleth of Marti's Hill, Quinden's sister. "Can you imagine running off and eloping like that?"

"No, but have you seen the jewelry she wears these days?" asked Aurelia of Josu's Dirk. "Talk about a lucky girl. Who cares if her husband is the son of a merchant? He used to be in the King's Own and now he's a jewel merchant, of all things! I'll take a wealthy _young_ commoner over a shriveled old lord any day of the week."

"It's a shame there won't be any balls this Midwinter," sighed a third young lady, Cassandra haMinch, one of Sir Padraig's nieces. "Of course, if there _was_ a ball, there'd only be the shriveled old lords to dance with us, anyway, since most of the younger men are up north with my cousin, Vanget."

"Oh, there are a few younger men around," Lilleth said slyly, "There are the noblemen of the Own, as well as those who aren't knights. And haven't you seen Lord Joren of Stone Mountain hanging about the palace lately?"

Now the chattering ladies had the lady squire's attention. Normally, she tried to block out all but the juiciest gossip and she already knew about her cousin Tressa's official marriage acceptance from a recent letter. Kel had a bad feeling that she wasn't going to like whatever Lady Lilleth was going to say next. Schooling her face into a calm Yamani mask of her emotions, Kel continued working on her diagram of a possible seating chart for the royal wedding reception. What, she wondered, would these ladies of the court have to say about Joren?

"Lord Joren is _here_? In Corus?" asked Aurelia, "Why isn't he up north with the rest of the knights and fighting men?"

"Remember the scandals from two years ago?" Lilleth replied. "Well, after all of that, the beautiful little lordling _still _isn't married. Oh, plenty of ladies flirt with him - who wouldn't? But I heard that his uncle, Sir Langdon of Stone Mountain, poor man, petitioned the king to forbid his unmarried nephew from being near any kind of conflict. It has to do with him not yet having an heir, so now he's stuck here in Corus."

"Oh my!" exclaimed Cassandra, "Do you think he's finally sniffing around for a wife? I know my cousin, Rhiannon, was relieved when her father wouldn't allow an early betrothal to Lord Joren back when he was a squire."

"Well, who would want to marry into such a scandalized family anyway?" sniffed Aurelia. "I mean, wealth is one thing, but Stone Mountain is just ... eww! That leering Lord Burchard made my skin crawl, may the Black God rest his soul." And she shuddered.

"I agree with you," said Cassandra, "Lord Joren might be one of the most gorgeous men in the realm, but what lady would want to be married to someone who's prettier than she is? Even with a mustache and chin whiskers, he's _still _more beautiful than most of the ladies in Corus. I'll not volunteer for that kind of daily torment, no indeed!" And several heads nodded in agreement at her statement.

Kel felt relieved when the ladies began to discuss the differences in quality of the face paints from Tyra versus face powders from Maren. It gave her time to think about the things they'd said about Joren. So, he really had grown a mustache after all. She had wondered what his face looked like now, especially since she hadn't seen him in well over a year. And although she'd never considered that there might be such a thing as being too good-looking, Kel was surprised that most of the young women in the room disliked the idea of being matched with someone as handsome as Joren, fearing the constant comparisons to their own beauty - or lack thereof.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

A week later, once Kel had settled into somewhat of a routine at the palace, Lady Ilane invited her daughter to join her and Piers for breakfast after their morning glaive practice. She did not let on that they would be discussing anything of importance. The first inkling that Kel had that something was amiss was that her parents were behaving very calmly toward her and each other. The hair on the back of her neck prickled up and all of her senses went on full alert.

"Has something happened back at Mindelan?" Kel asked as she glanced from one parent to the other. "Have the Scanrans attacked us there?"

"No, no, dear," Ilane frowned and asked, "What gave you the impression that anything is wrong?"

Kel looked at her mother and slowly said, "Well ... you and Papa have your 'calm faces' on and you're not touching each other. That usually means that something isn't quite right at home. And I just saw Lachran in the dining hall last night and he told me that the last letter he received from his siblings back at Mindelan said everything is ready for an attack. The whole fief is on alert, so I just thought that something must have happened there. But ... but that's not it, is it?"

Piers gestured for Kel to sit at the private breakfast table that had been prepared for them in their palace rooms before he replied, "No, Kel, nothing bad has happened, at least, nothing of which we are aware. Anders has prepared Mindelan as best as he could and everyone on our lands _is _ready for an attack. However, discussing our home fief's defenses isn't why we asked you to join us this morning. Let's have our breakfast and then we'll chat."

Kel wanted to protest. How was she supposed to eat when she just knew that something was wrong somewhere with somebody? In answer to her internal question, her empty stomach growled loudly. She ducked her head when her father raised his eyebrows at her. It was too hard to resist the pull of the warm rolls and thick slices of ham, so she ate a hearty breakfast and then waited to hear what her parents had to say to her. Finally, her father pushed aside his empty plate and began to speak.

"Keladry, you are correct, something isn't quite right, but I'm certain it's not what you might be thinking," Piers said calmly, "Recently, we had the opportunity to reciprocate Lady Virryn's gracious hospitality and she and her son joined us for supper at the town house. Our conversation this morning will have more to do with a delicate matter _here_ - one that concerns you ... and Lord Joren of Stone Mountain."

Kel blinked. She hadn't heard from Joren since she had returned to the palace. She was deeply disappointed that he hadn't even replied to her short note informing him that she was back in Corus. For all she knew, he'd probably found an eligible young noblewoman who was willing to overlook the 'liabilities' of being associated with the handsome young lord from the scandalized fief of Stone Mountain. Surely, there were ladies who saw only wealth and power and didn't care about anything else. But now her father had just told her that Joren had been to her family's town house and he had dined with her parents. Kel's senses stayed on full alert.

"You want to discuss a ... a delicate matter about Lord Joren with me?" Kel asked warily, "May I ask why? Has something happened to _him_?"

Lady Ilane, unable to keep her daughter in suspense any longer said, "Keladry, darling, what your father _isn't _saying is that Lord Joren has asked for permission to court you. He made his request when he came to supper at the town house last week. And we asked him not to contact you until we'd had the chance to speak with you first. It's a delicate matter for us because we don't know how you really feel about all this. However, we're fairly certain that you wouldn't be too pleased to discover that we'd all been discussing your future without your knowledge or input."

Kel just stared blankly at her parents, her mind frozen with shock. Now she understood Joren's strange silence. He wasn't avoiding her because he'd found someone else; rather, he was being chivalrous by waiting for her parents' permission to court her openly. Kel wasn't so sure that she liked the idea that the normally arrogant lord suddenly had decided to follow the rules of courtly love without first warning her of his actions. She also wasn't sure that she wanted her parents to decide her future, even though that was normal for most noble daughters throughout the realm.

Piers loudly cleared his throat, "Keladry, your mother and I want you to know that we believe you have earned the right to determine your _own _destiny. If you want me to approve of your courtships and arrange for your betrothal and future marriage, then I will."

Shaking her head slowly, Kel whispered, "No, Papa. Please ... don't."

"Don't worry, Kel," Piers reassured her, "I won't. In my mind, you can decide these things for yourself, especially once you become a knight of the realm. I'll still provide your dowry, small though it is, but you may choose any potential suitor for yourself. If you truly want Joren of Stone Mountain to _continue_ to court you, I'll inform him of your decision and then I'll just step back and let you determine your own course."

"Papa, I ... I'm not sure I--" Kel sounded stunned, "Wait ... did you just say '_continue_ to court' me? I don't understand that."

Ilane stood up and placed her hand on Kel's solid shoulder before speaking, "Kel, even though it's none of our business anymore, we know about the letters you two have been writing back and forth to each other. We also know that Lord Joren has kissed you and that you've kissed him back - on several occasions. You must realize that your actions already have created an atmosphere of courtship between you the two of you. The fact that Joren has asked for permission to do the things you've already been doing for a while is a nice gesture, but to us it appears that he's been courting you for a long time. Now it seems that he wants to make it official. The question is: what do _you_ want to do Kel?"

"You're so close to earning your shield," continued Piers, "You've worked terribly hard for your position and you've made so many sacrifices already. Your mother and I have always supported you reaching your long-time goals, but we don't want you to miss out on a chance for the kind of happiness we have, either. If being with Joren of Stone Mountain is something that you really want, we'll support that, too. What _do_ you really want, Kel?"

Biting her lower lip, Kel's thoughts swirled around in her head. What _did_ she really want? She wanted to be a knight, that's what! Being courted in the same manner as any other young lady was something relatively new for her to think about. The fact that Joren had done a very chivalrous thing and asked her father for his permission to court her was touching. It actually made her love him all the more, but it also made her just a bit agitated, because there was a tiny problem with Joren's timing.

Kel clearly remembered asking the young lord to _wait until after_ she had become a knight before he did anything like this. Now she knew that she would be worrying about both her upcoming Ordeal _and_ the publicity of an official courtship with him. It had been a long time since anyone had brought up the topic of Joren's ill treatment of her or of his trial for kidnapping Lalasa. Kel had no desire to become the topic of gossip among the ladies of the court again until she was far away, off on her missions, where she wouldn't have to endure their sly looks and whispered comments.

"Mama, Papa," Kel glanced from one parent to the other, "I want to earn my shield before I do _anything_ else. And yet ... I do want to ... to continue the courtship, but can you help me just a little. Do you think ... is there a way to make Jo--, um, Lord Joren wait until after ... after my Ordeal?"

"Oh, I think we can manage that alright," Piers said and he started to laugh. "In fact, you might grow tired of the slow pace I've guaranteed for your courtship."

Kel looked more confused, so Ilane began to explain, "Kel, darling, your father already has plans to take Lord Joren along on our next trip to the Yamani Islands. We were going to wait until after the royal wedding, but the trade situation must be settled sooner rather than later. The House of Stone Mountain has maintained holdings in the islands for several generations and its new lord has agreed to leave with us very soon after your shield is in your hands. I'm afraid that you two will have to continue your courtship via correspondence for a while longer." Then she smiled knowingly at her youngest daughter. Kel now had an official suitor and Ilane wondered how long it would be before she had another son-in-law.

* * *

_Raoul continued her lessons as the winter set in. Using their tactical experience of the Scanran raids in their district, he helped her put them together with the reports from all the other districts on the northern border._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

"I thought I might find you here," Joren spoke softly into Kel's ear after quietly walking up behind her in the map library, where she'd been researching alternate supply routes along the Scanran border. Raoul's lessons included lots and lots of map reconnaissance, calculations for resupplying various types of fighting units and other research.

A wide smile spread across Kel's face as she recognized Joren's voice, even though she didn't turn to face him. She hadn't jumped in surprise this time, either, because she'd already sensed that someone had come into the room and was waiting to talk to her. She had hoped that it would be him and she wasn't disappointed this time. Forcing herself to think of calm pools of water, Kel was smug that she didn't fling herself into Joren's arms. Still, a shiver went down her spine and a warm tingling sensation began to build up deep inside of her.

"Lord Joren, it's so nice of you to make an appearance - finally," Kel said, almost too casually and she continued to return rolled-up maps to their proper places on the shelves without looking back at him. "You know, you could have sent me a note or a message or _something_. I wouldn't have known you were back in Corus if my parents hadn't informed me of your recent visit with them. "

Joren plucked the last map from Kel's hand and placed it in its proper space. His other hand came around in front of her and in it was a small bouquet of winter roses. Joren's voice was a purr as he continued to speak into her ear, sending more chills down her spine, "Well then, since your parents have spoken to you about my visit, I must assume that you understand why I couldn't contact you before now. Hopefully, this is something that will make up for my polite silence." Then he cleared his throat and asked, "Keladry of Mindelan, may I court you now?"

Kel stared down at the flowers and tried to quiet her heart. Never before had Joren presented something like this to her. Sure, there was the poem from long ago and the more recent olive leaves, but flowers were something new between them. And these particular flowers had a much deeper meaning at this time. Slowly, she nodded, reached out to accept the small bouquet into her hands and their courtship became 'officially official' from that moment on. When she turned to face him, Kel's eyes widened as she saw Joren for the first time in almost a year and a half.

"You ... your face ... and your hair. They're so ... so _different_!" she exclaimed softly, and she reached out one hand to run her fingers along the edge of his mustache.

Joren stood very still as he allowed Kel to touch his face and hair. Although his white-blond hair still looked long enough to pull most of it back into a horsetail, he had changed the style so that it fell in almost-shaggy layers down to his shoulders instead of being all one length. His mustache and neatly trimmed facial hair really did give him more of a mature appearance, even though his cheeks were still rosy. Joren always was the most beautiful boy she'd ever seen, but now Kel knew she was standing in front of the most handsome _man_ she'd ever seen. Her pulse began to race and she hoped he couldn't hear the hammering of her heart.

"This is the way the men in Maren wear their hair," he smiled crookedly at her as his sky-blue eyes searched her green-hazel ones. "And I told you I would grow a mustache someday. Do you like it?" he asked as he gently grasped Kel's outstretched hand and lightly kissed the inside of her wrist.

His whiskers tickled her skin and she giggled. Joren then wrapped his free arm around her waist and drew her close to him for a long, slow, welcoming kiss. Tea or no tea, it had been a long time since he had held Kel in his arms and he only wanted to kiss her soft, inviting lips. She dropped the bouquet of roses onto a nearby table and threaded her fingers into his shiny hair, deepening their kiss and letting her whole body relax into his embrace.

When Joren started to kiss his way down her neck, Kel discovered that the touch of his whiskers against her skin created even more pleasant sensations and a little moan escaped from her throat. "I ... um ... I think I like ... your mustache ... very much," Kel spoke through ragged breaths. "It ... it makes ... you look ... older." The thoughts that were running through her mind were not very coherent after that, but she felt she would be alright as long as Joren didn't let go of her any time soon.

"Good," Joren purred as he continued to kiss her face and neck. "Older is good. Mithros, Kel, I've missed you so much! It's been such a long time and we have so many things to discuss. Perhaps we should sit down."

She shook her head and said, "We ... we should go ... to my rooms. We can ... talk there." Remembering that in one of her most recent letters to Joren, she had indicated her willingness and desire to have him in her bed, she blushed and suddenly felt very shy. Then she wondered if that was on his mind at this time, too.

Slowly, Joren maneuvered Kel into a chair, kissing her one last time on the lips before she could protest. Then he walked around to the opposite side of the table and sat across from her. Her questioning eyes peered at him as she tried to catch her breath and she wondered why he had stopped kissing her. Then she nervously began to chew on her lower lip without realizing it.

Then he reached over and put his hand on top of hers as it rested on the table and said, "Please, Kel, try to understand. We need to talk about our ... our courtship first." And he pushed the bouquet of flowers closer to her with his other hand.

Kel stiffened at the sight of the roses. He had offered her the flowers and she had accepted them. It was a time-honored tradition. That's right, she thought, this is an _official _courtship now and Joren has decided to follow most of the rules. For some reason, this really irritated her at that moment and she knew her voice had a sharp edge to it as she spoke.

"You ... you've never allowed any rules of etiquette or decorum to stop you before," Kel teased, "Why are you starting now?"

"It's true," Joren nodded, "I've been breaking all kinds of rules for quite some time. However, your father said he would appreciate it if I'd show a bit more restraint with regard to you. Kel, I want to do this the right way, but you're going to have to help me." His eyes were pleading with her.

"Why?" Kel asked, "Is it _that_ difficult for you to be around me?"

"Yes, it is," he said softly, "You see, Kel, I haven't forgotten the, um ... your gift to me. The soap pillow was quite ... unique. But ... but as much as I want to claim that gift, I cannot - not at this time. You're ... we're not ready. My job now is to protect your virtue, not to ... to take it away from you, at least, not yet, anyway." And he smiled a rueful smile at her.

"Alright, then," Kel said firmly, feeling the edge if her agitation tightening its grip on her swirling emotions. "If you truly want to protect me, here's what you must do: nothing. Don't do a thing until after I've passed my Ordeal. I asked you to wait, but you went to my father beforehand anyway. And I my parents informed me that you're going to accompany them to the Yamani Islands for a while, too. So now I'm asking you again to wait - as you just said, we're not ready and I don't want people to know about our courtship until after I've earned my shield, understand?"

Joren nodded his agreement. Thankful for the large supply of special, libido-suppressing tea he had received in the mail from his Bazhir friend, Zahir, he knew he could control himself for quite some time. However, he did have big plans for Kel once she passed her Ordeal. Now that their courtship was official, Joren knew he'd be able to wait for Kel for as long as she desired.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you liked the chapter. I just wanted their courtship to be real and official, but not yet public. Please let me know what you think of it. Thanks! :D**


	59. Waiting

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: After much debate - both internal and with other people - as well as a little bout of writer's block, I have decided not to mess around with Kel's Ordeal. As I've said before, there are parts of the PotS saga that I don't want or need to change in order to fit in with my version of Kel and Joren and this is one of them. So for the purpose of my AU story, her encounter with the Chamber of the Ordeal happens exactly the way it happens in the original book. However, I have used more quotes and written around them to give them my own twist. ;D Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Neal and Merric returned in early November, the Ordeal clearly on their minds, though they talked of everything but that during meals and times off. Kel worried about them: Neal and Merric were the most imaginative of all those in her year. She understood their nerves, of course. No one could forget Vinson or Joren, and her own experiences of the iron door gave her dreams that woke her gasping in the night._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Waiting **

The rhythmic sounds of wood hitting against wood clacked loudly throughout the practice yard. Kel and Neal bowed politely to each other at the conclusion of their match. The green-eyed senior squire was smug because he'd just used one of the moves his knight-mistress had drilled into him to disarm Kel and win the match. Exhausted from the vigorous training, as well as from a lack of restful sleep, she glanced over her shoulder to see that Seaver and Merric still were sparring with quarterstaffs in one corner, while Esmond and Quinden hacked at each other with practice swords in another part of the yard. None of the other squires seemed to be in his best form, either.

The previous day, Sir Padraig haMinch, the palace's new training master, had given them his final set of instructions and encouraged them to train together one last time before they began their Ordeals. He spoke to the senior squires about the current situation on the Scanran border and the likelihood of them being assigned to go north once they were knights. Kel truly missed Lord Wyldon's brusque manner, but she hadn't realized how much until Sir Padraig's informative, but stiff lecture.

Now that she and Neal had finished their training session, they sat next to each other in companionable silence on one of the wooden benches. Kel took a long drink of water, emptying her flask and Neal offered to refill it since he was going to the water barrel anyway. When he returned to the bench, he stared at Kel for a while until she noticed and scowled up at him.

"That's a very bad habit you have, Squire Nealan," she said tiredly, "If I want an examination, I'll go see a healer on my own time. I thought I told you before that I don't like it when you do that."

"I'm sorry, Kel, but it appears that you haven't been sleeping very well," Neal observed as he handed her flask to her. "I bested you two out of three times out there. Now, I realize that the Lioness has trained me quite well, but I don't think Lord Raoul has slacked off on your training. You look tired and I was just trying to figure out why."

"I _am_ tired," Kel replied, "It's hard to get to sleep at night. All this waiting is draining me. Part of me is scared witless, but another part of me just wants to go into the Chamber and be done with it. Actually, you don't look all that fresh, either. None of us do."

"I know, I know. I think we're all having nightmares about the Chamber," Neal stated. "I've decided to ask Lady Alanna for another one of her special blends of tea - the kind that causes a person to not have any dreams at all. If you want, I can ask her for some for you, too."

Kel smiled weakly back at him and shook her head, "No, thanks, Neal. I think I'll pass. Not _all _of my dreams are bad ones. I never know when the Dream King will send me one of the good ones, though, so I'll just take my chances."

Neal sat down again, leaned in closer to her and whispered, "Is a certain _young lord_ the main attraction of those _good_ dreams of yours?"

Instead of answering with words, Kel elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ouch!" he complained and moved further down the bench. "There's no cause for violence! I'm just curious, that's all. I haven't seen Joren around the palace since I've been back and my sister, Mari, informed me that the court gossips haven't seen the young Lord of Stone Mountain around the palace, either. Everyone knows that he couldn't have traveled north due to the heavy snowfall - as well as the king's restrictions on him. I just thought that he'd come around here for practice ... and, well, for _you_."

Kel's face immediately slipped into its unreadable Yamani mask, even though her thoughts were anything but calm. She had wondered when Neal would bring up the subject of Joren's noticeable absence. At first, she'd debated whether or not to tell anyone about the official status of their courtship. It hadn't been difficult to tell Lord Raoul and Buri about it, because they already knew so much. And when she asked them to keep it quiet for the time being, they gladly agreed. Now, as Kel glanced at Neal, she made up her mind to tell him, too.

Finally, in a voice that was barely above a whisper, she said, "Joren is keeping his distance because I asked him to do so."

"Oh, really?" Neal raised his eyebrows. "So ... you've spoken to him, have you?"

Kel nodded and then stood up to stretch out a leg cramp. "I'm certain that he's not happy about the situation, but there's nothing he can do about either the king's restrictions or his uncle's refusal to allow him to fight in the north."

"Actually, he _could_ get married and start working on producing an heir for his House," Neal wiggled his eyebrows at Kel but stopped quickly when she looked at him blankly. He shrugged and continued, "You know as well as I do that the sooner he meets the conditions of his father's deathbed compulsion, the better off his family will be. It's been almost two years already. Mithros! I'd hate to be his uncle. From what I've heard, Joren's not even _trying _to court anyone these days - not even you, apparently."

"Appearances can be ... deceiving," Kel said vaguely as she sat down again.

Neal narrowed his eyes and looked directly at Kel. No longer Yamani calm, her face had an almost guilty look on it and she definitely was blushing now. The green-eyed squire stared at his friend in disbelief before he spoke.

"Kel ... what's going on?" he asked suspiciously, knowing and yet not wanting to acknowledge what his intuition was telling him. "You've been keeping secrets again, haven't you? What's Joren done now?"

Sighing, Kel pushed her fingers through her sweat-soaked hair and began to speak in a low voice.

"He ... he surprised me by ... um, by asking my parents for their permission to court me," Kel said and then she held up her hand to stop Neal from commenting for a moment. "They granted it - and so did I - but I was angry because he went to my father behind my back. I had wanted Joren to _wait_ until after I earned my shield and yet ... and yet, I'm actually glad that he asked to court me in an official way."

"When did all this happen?" Neal demanded to know, whispering loudly so that no one would overhear their conversation, "Why didn't you tell me about this earlier - like when I returned to the palace _last month_?"

Kel shrugged. "He was already gone by the time you came back. I guess I just pushed all thoughts of him to the back of my mind. I _had_ to Neal. Whenever Joren came here to the practice yards, his presence was too distracting to me, so I ... I asked him to ... to go away for a while, until after our Ordeals."

"_You _... asked _Lord Joren_ to go away?" Neal asked slowly. "And ... and he _went?_" Neal's eyebrows were arched up in a comical way, causing Kel to duck her head and nodded shyly.

"He and his mother have been visiting with his Uncle Lars at Barony Dunmoor," Kel stated glumly, "They plan to celebrate Midwinter's Eve there with all of their extended family."

"Kel, that's ... that's in _two days_," Neal reminded her. "What happens after that? Will Joren return to Corus? Are you ready to spend time with him - out in public? I mean, if it's official and he's really courting you now, don't you think he'll want to spend time with you before your Ordeal?"

"_He_ might want that, but that's why I asked him to go away. That's why I asked him to wait," Kel whispered in an agitated tone of voice, wary now that Merric and Seaver had finished their match and were walking toward the bench. "You see, whenever we're together, it seems like we're playing with fire and I do _not_ wish to tend to any burns right now."

"Burns?" Merric asked as he reached for his flask which was sitting in the bench next to Neal, "When did you get burnt, Kel?" Then he took a long drink of the cool, refreshing water.

Seaver looked at Kel's hands inquisitively, trying to see if that's where Kel's aforementioned burns were located. "My grandmother grows a funny-looking plant that's real good for treating burns. You should see if the healers have any of it in the infirmary. Or perhaps Neal should use his Gift to heal you." And he nodded toward the healer-in-training.

Kel dropped her head into her hands and began to laugh. To think that Merric and Seaver overheard her last statement and had misunderstood her meaning was too funny at that moment. While she was touched by their nosy concern, she also felt relieved by their total ignorance of the real topic of discussion. Neal just shook his head slowly and gave his younger year-mates a look of amused exasperation.

"You see," Neal said with a chuckle, "This is why you shouldn't eavesdrop on other people's conversations. Kel doesn't have any burns." Then he glanced sidelong at her and caught her attention with his next statement. "At least, not yet, she doesn't. We were merely discussing a _hypothetical_ situation, that's all."

* * *

_The day before the holiday, the knight-masters of the squires to take the Ordeal met for their own ceremony with the new training master and the king and queen. They drank a toast to the new year, wrote the squires' names on bits of paper, and shook them up in a plain clay bowl. The order in which the queen drew names was the order in which the squires faced the Chamber. When Kel heard the results, she thought that the Yamani trickster god Sakuyo had danced in that bowl._

_Neal was first. She was last._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

"Blast!" Joren exclaimed when he received Kel's hastily written letter which explained the order of the squires' Ordeals. She also had reiterated her request that he stay away from her until after her Ordeal. "Blast! Blast! _Blast_ it all!" He yelled, and then he let loose a string of curse words that sent his nephew scurrying out of the room.

He was so frustrated by the news that he violently crumpled the piece of paper and threw it into the blazing hearth, again cursing loudly. Joren truly had hoped that Kel would change her mind and ask him to return earlier or that she would be one of the first squires to go into the Chamber, but now he'd have to wait even longer and he was so tired of waiting. Surely, the Trickster was at it again, meddling with the timing for him and Kel to be together.

The visit to Barony Dunmoor had been a good one, until now. Spending such a long time with his mother's family, learning more about the ways in which his relatives honored and worshipped the Goddess and preparing for the holidays had been suitable distractions for the young lord. Entertaining his young niece and nephew made him wonder what his life might have been like if he and Anniseth hadn't hated each other so much. And playing long hours of chess with his uncle kept Joren's mind from drifting into thoughts about Kel - most of the time.

Recently, Joren had been daydreaming about his next meeting with his soon-to-be lady knight. In his mind he'd already decided on the type of flowers he was going to present to Kel when he formally invited her to accompany him to a nice, private supper in town after her Ordeal. He knew exactly which fine eating establishment he wanted to take her to, where he planned to give her a lovely silver necklace with matching earbobs. He had bought it for her during his long journey through Maren and had hoped to present it to her on Midwinter's Eve. Now, Joren chafed at Kel's latest request for him to stay away just a little while longer.

"You've frightened my son, so I assume the news is not good," said Baron Lars calmly, as he entered the gaily decorated sitting room and closed the door behind him, "Squire Keladry of Mindelan is not among the first to enter the Chamber, is she?"

Joren shook his head and pressed his lips tightly together so that they became only a thin line beneath his mustache. He had been very open with his uncle about his feelings toward the lady squire and they'd had several lengthy talks about Joren's hopes and plans for the future. One of the things he appreciated about his mother's brother was that the man listened attentively and offered very good advice. Since they were alone now, Joren decided to take the opportunity to speak openly with him again.

"I apologize for my language, Uncle Lars, but this is insane! Kel's Ordeal is going to be _last_! That's almost another week from today!" Joren wailed and then he felt silly for sounding like a petulant child, "I've been more than patient - coming out here and staying away from Keladry, _as she requested._ But I want to see her now, _before_ she enters the Chamber. I want to talk to her and find out how she's doing. I want to hold her in my arms and--"

"You want a lot of things," interrupted Lars. "Joren, be honest - if not with me, then at least with yourself. You want _her_. You've wanted her for a long time. And from what you've told me, as well as what I've seen with my own eyes, the lady squire really desires to be with you, too. However, I must agree with that wise young woman; I think you'd better stay away from Corus this week."

"I can't stand it anymore!" Joren shook his head, "I think this waiting is killing me!"

Lars sighed. "We've talked about this, Joren. You know that if you plan on making the marital sacrifice to the Goddess, you'll need to control yourself around the Mindelan girl. Have you any idea how many babes are conceived just prior to the father going into the Chamber of the Ordeal? Certainly not as many as those who come into existence on the eve of a battle, but the relative percentages are probably much the same."

"I wouldn't ... I don't want ... I'd _never_ force myself upon her," Joren sputtered. "But I know she wants what I want, because I have her love letters to prove it."

"Be that as it may, haven't you promised Baron Piers that you will protect his daughter's virtue - that you will proclaim it even - and help others to see her as a virtuous woman?" Lars asked quietly.

Joren's head drooped and he closed his eyes. "Yes, Uncle Lars, that's what I promised Kel's father. And I intend to honor my vow. I only ... I just want to hold her and ... and comfort her before she faces the Chamber."

Lars chuckled and walked over to the window to watch the swirling snow. "How do you know the lady squire needs comforting from you? Didn't you tell me that she likes to be alone right before a joust? I'll bet she wouldn't be pleased if you showed up to offer her your shoulder before her Ordeal, chivalrous as that may seem to you now. You're just upset about the order of things. Wait _patiently_, nephew, and everything will be alright."

"I know you're right," Joren admitted, "It's just that with Kel being the last squire into the Chamber, there won't be time afterward for me to do much courting since I'll be leaving for the Yamani Islands with Baron Piers three days after she becomes a knight. I want more time with her, too, before she heads off to the Scanran border, where she'll be surrounded by ... by lots of other men and there's nothing I can do about _that_ situation."

Lars suddenly turned to look at his forlorn nephew and asked, "Joren, are you still drinking that special Bazhir tea you described to me? The one that ... that 'unmans' you, so to speak?"

"Um ... sort of, but I haven't had any today," Joren replied glumly, "I know I _should_ drink it everyday, but I don't like the way it makes me feel - or not feel, actually. My dreams at night are ... quite vivid and I want them to stay that way. When I drink the tea, I don't have those dreams."

"I see," Lars said with a crooked smile, "Well, I have an idea for you to ponder. Do you remember me telling you about the time I went away with your Uncle Langdon to fight along the border?"

Nodding slowly, Joren said, "Yes, that was after my parents became, well, my parents."

Lars chuckled again and nodded in response before continuing, "That's right. Unfortunately, especially for the young lady who later became my wife, my father had finalized our betrothal agreement just before your uncle and I announced that we had accepted the duty assignment. I didn't know how long I'd be away, so I 'marked' my betrothed. After that, I knew without a doubt that she'd willingly wait for me and I was able to leave her for those two years without worrying about other men 'sniffing' around her.

"What do you mean by saying you 'marked' your betrothed?" Joren asked warily. "I don't understand that."

Lars gestured for Joren to sit down in one of the chairs by the hearth so that they could chat comfortably. The young lord's eyes widened and his pulse raced as his uncle described to him the ancient practice of a male 'marking' his intended mate by leaving a small bruise in the skin above her heart while placing a betrothal ribbon around her neck. Because it really was a bite mark, a man had to exert a lot of internal control in order to stop during the passionate playing that usually occurred prior to lovemaking. Even after the bruise faded, or the woman removed the ribbon, the effect would last and keep the man and woman bonded indefinitely.

"And that really worked for you?" Joren asked, unable to fathom such a thing.

"Absolutely!" Lars nodded and answered, "You know how seriously we take our ability to offer the great wedding night sacrifices to the Goddess here at Dunmoor. Well, I'm telling you the truth; we had excellent harvests for several years after my wife and I were married. Perhaps you can do the same, but knowing you, Joren, you'll definitely need to drink that Bazhir tea _religiously_."

Joren was intrigued by the prospect of 'marking' Kel. If he could accomplish this, then he wouldn't have to worry about her attentions being drawn toward any other man. And the other men - especially her fellow knights - would sense that she no longer was available to any of them. Hoping that by drinking the special tea every day he would have enough restraint to complete the task, Joren now knew that he could use his time of waiting to prepare himself for the days ahead.

* * *

_In the morning, Kel had breakfast with her parents and visited Lalasa, just in case. Then she took Peachblossom, Jump, and the birds, and went for a long ride in the Royal Forest, where she heard nothing but the calls of birds and the plop of snow falling from the trees. She drew that quiet into her. What would come would come, whether she fretted herself to pieces or not...._

_...More than anything, she wished he were here. That was her main regret, that he wasn't here. If something were to happen tonight, she wouldn't have seen him, talked with him, or kissed him good-bye...._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Joren arrived outside the closed doors of the Chapel of the Ordeal, and he happily discovered that he was the first person to arrive. Settling himself on the bench in the dimly-lit hallway, the tall blond knight stretched out his crossed legs and closed his eyes. He was tired from his day-long ride to Corus, but he wanted to be right there when the Mithran priests opened the doors and allowed family, friends, and other well-wishers to enter the chapel and wait for Kel's fate.

Most people, like Kel's parents and her closest friends, probably were resting in their rooms throughout the palace. They would drift down to the chapel as the time grew nearer for the Chamber to release her. Joren didn't care if anyone saw the small bouquet of magically-preserved, hothouse flowers that he held in his hands. He knew that some people would figure things out fairly quickly anyway. Kel had asked him to wait until after she had earned her shield and he decided that he'd been waiting long enough for this to count.

Joren awoke with a start when he felt something sharp poking into his shoulder. Cautiously turning his head to the side to see who had been bold enough to touch him so rudely, he saw that it was Nealan of Queenscove - _Sir_ Nealan of Queenscove now, by the looks of him wearing his own House's colors, as well as his badge of knighthood. The new knight was alone, which was a great relief to the young lord as he sat up and rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes.

"Queenscove!" Joren scoffed, his voice sounding husky with fatigue, "I should have known. Why are you poking at me with your sword?"

Neal grinned and gestured to his outfit and badge, saying, "I just wanted to be prepared for the worse when I woke you up and reminded you of that bet I placed when Kel was a probationary page. Remember? I bet that she wouldn't leave until I did, and look at me now! I won!"

"Congratulations, _Sir Nealan_," Joren drawled, "Now put that thing away! I trust that you'll allow me a reasonable amount of time to withdraw the funds with which to pay you."

"Take your time," Neal said as he resheathed his sword with a twirl and a flourish, "I know where you live."

Joren shook his head and said, "It looks like you've been enjoying your first few days as a knight. I understand that you were fortunate enough to go first. Humph! You certainly don't look any worse than usual."

"Thank you, Lord Joren," Neal replied in a friendly tone of voice, "As you might imagine, I'm _ecstatic_ that my palace training is finally over. Most of my friends from the university have started families by now and I'm just getting started as a knight, but I suppose this was worth it."

Joren stood up, yawned and stretched, "What brings you down here so early?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Neal replied with a sly grin. "But we both know the answer to that question, don't we? When did you get back to Corus?"

Before he replied, Joren rotated his neck to one side and then to the other to stretch out the tightness in his muscles. "This morning - no, yesterday morning, I think. All the days have run together for me. How is she?"

Neal smirked, "Do you mean Kel?"

"Don't toy with me, Queenscove. I'm in no mood," Joren said wearily and he sat down again, "Of course I mean Kel!"

"She's been fine - irritable and not sleeping well - but fine, _my lord_," Neal admitted, "I think part of her problem was that she missed _you_."

"I doubt that," Joren still sounded agitated. "She asked me to stay away and that's what I did."

Neal shook his head in mock disgust, "For all your reputation of being a ladies' man, my lord, you sure don't know very much about females. It's nice to see that you're learning, though." And he nodded his head toward the flowers Joren still held in one of his hands.

The blond knight scowled at his unwanted companion and then glanced down at the small bouquet before asking, "Did she tell you? Do you know about ... our courtship being official now?"

"Mmm hmm," Neal nodded, "Only a handful of people know. Those of us who do have kept it quiet. By the looks of things, you must be preparing for some sort of public display of affection. Be careful, though; there's no telling what shape Kel will be in when the Chamber spits her out."

"Don't you think I know that?" Joren asked brusquely. "The Chamber nearly _killed_ me. I just ... well, I hope she'll come out whole and undamaged."

Once again Neal nodded. Then the two men sat quietly on the bench for what seemed to be a long time until a yellow-robed Mithran priest opened the door of the chapel to allow people inside. By then, Kel's parents and her youngest brother, Avinar, had joined them, and Joren was inwardly pleased when the tall, sandy-haired lad greeted him warmly with an almost-mischievous grin. Obviously, Baron Piers and his wife had informed their large family of the courtship.

It was a tradition that all of a year's newest knights would come to the chapel to support their final year-mate's Ordeal. Merric, Seaver, and Esmond came into the chapel next. Quinden, the other one of Kel's year-mates, wouldn't arrive until the absolute last minute. He never had warmed to Kel and he barely glanced at Joren when he finally entered the chapel.

The Lord Magistrate, wrapped in heavy furs, was drowsing in the back corner of the chapel. Lord Raoul was sitting up front, on the first bench right outside of the Chamber door. Joren did not follow Kel's year-mates as they filed up the aisle behind her parents and brother. Instead, he sat next to Duke Turomot, preferring to keep him company whenever the old man woke suddenly from his cat naps. Eventually, the duke got up and shuffled to the front of the chapel to sit with Raoul, but Joren stayed in the back of the room.

Other people silently entered the chapel - Buri, Dom, Flyndan and several of the men from the King's Own. Lalasa and Tian brought in Jump and then some other palace servants gathered around them. Soon the little chapel was filled to capacity and Joren barely could see the Chamber door. All he could do - all anyone could do - was to pray to the gods and wait.

* * *

_You'll do, a cold, whispering voice said somewhere between the inside of her ears and her mind. You'll do quite nicely...._

_Later she would understand why she had refused to believe what she saw. It was too vile. A twelfth black killing device forced her to see things as they really were. It stepped out of the shadows. It tossed a dead child onto the pile. They were all battered, dead children._

_There is your task, the whispering voice told her shocked brain. You will know when it has found you._

_Tell me where, she demanded silently, fiercely. Tell me where this is!_

_The Chamber door swung open. She could see Raoul, her parents, Jump and the sparrows. They waited for her._

_It will find you, the Chamber told her. When it does, fix it._

_A force urged Kel forward. She walked out of the Chamber of the Ordeal. _

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Loud applause erupted throughout the packed chapel when Kel walked stiffly out of the Chamber, looking tired and disheveled, but not injured or crazed. Lord Raoul and her parents embraced her and led her to the wooden bench to sit next to Duke Turomot, who patted her on her knee and nodded his gray head in approval. While Duke Baird quickly examined her, Kel's stomach growled loudly. Chuckling, Raoul insisted that she drink the contents of a flask that he gave her. The cool, pleasant-tasting liquid instantly refreshed her and temporarily appeased her noisy gut.

Once Duke Baird pronounced Kel to be in good enough condition to stand and acknowledge her well-wishers, he and Raoul helped her to her feet and she faced the crowd and bowed to them. That set off another round of enthusiastic applause and she tried not to let her embarrassment over all the fuss show on her face.

"Well done, Kel," Raoul beamed down at her, looking almost as proud as Kel's parents who were hovering nearby, "Well done, _Lady Knight_."

A shiver ran down Kel's spine when she heard Raoul's words. She had done it! Even though the official ceremony would take place later in the day, the Chamber had pronounced her to be worthy of her title and her shield. It had even given her an important task to fulfill. The kingdom of Tortall now had its second lady knight and Kel grinned at the thought that perhaps _now_ she'd actually get the chance to speak with Lady Alanna and find out what being a lady knight was really like.

Although she felt a huge sense of relief that her Ordeal was over, deep inside, Kel still was agitated at the Chamber for giving her such an impossible mission without giving her enough information to even attempt to accomplish it. Nevertheless, that terrible problem would have to wait until later; now she allowed Lord Raoul to lead her to the front of the chapel where she could greet everyone and let them see for themselves that she really was alright. At first, she tried to slip into her Yamani mask, but Kel simply couldn't contain her joy at having proved herself by passing her Ordeal.

After the members of her family and friends such as Neal and Lalasa had congratulated her, everyone lined up to shake Kel's hand. The outpouring of support and genuine regard for the new lady knight was overwhelming to her as some people clasped forearms with her and some even bowed or curtsied to her. Occasionally, Kel would surreptitiously scan the crowd, hoping to see Joren, and her Yamani training helped her maintain a calm appearance when she caught a glimpse of his white-blond hair. It seemed that the blond lord wanted to be the last person in the queue, which was fine with Kel because it gave her more time to think about what she would say to him.

Joren waited and waited. He had decided to be the last one in line, and he was extremely glad that the magically-treated flowers were guaranteed to stay fresh for a long time because he knew that Kel would greet every single person in the room. Most of the well-wishers congratulated her and then exited the chapel; they knew there would be another opportunity to converse with the new lady knight after her formal ceremony. Kel's family and her close friends, along with Jump and some of the sparrows, were the only ones remaining when Joren's shining, sky-blue eyes finally gazed into her tired hazel eyes.

"Congratulations, Lady Knight," Joren said with a bow and a smile, "This is a proud moment for your entire family, as well as the realm. I'm very happy for you."

"Thank you, Lord Joren," Kel replied, grinning back at him, "I'm very happy to see you, too. Neal told me that you were the first one here at the chapel and that you arrived even before my parents did."

Joren nodded, "Yes, well, you were there for me when the Chamber released me, so I'm glad I finally get to return the favor. Although, I must say that you look to be in _much_ better shape than I was at that time." Then he extended the small bouquet of flowers toward her. "I know your family will want you all to themselves today, my lady, but I'd be honored if you'll agree to give me the pleasure of your company at supper tomorrow. I know a wonderful, out-of-the-way place in town."

He watched as Kel blinked in surprise and then she peered down at the flowers in his outstretched hand. Glancing over her shoulder to the side of the chapel, Joren saw Baron Piers give him the tiniest of nods. When he looked back at Kel, there was an odd expression on her face. Before Joren could make a move, Kel closed the gap between them and placed the palms of her hands on the sides of his face. They both felt the jolt of their physical contact surge through their veins.

"I know you didn't want to, but I thank you for waiting, Joren," Kel whispered to him. Then she pressed her lips against his in a soft, sweet kiss. "Yes, I'll join for supper tomorrow. Just tell me where to find you - I'll meet you there." And she kissed him again.

It took only a moment for their kiss to deepen. Joren's arms wrapped around Kel's back and he held her tightly against his solid chest. A surprised hush fell over the room as everyone began to notice that the new lady knight was engaged in a very steamy public display of affection with the young Lord of Stone Mountain. Of course, several of the people in the chapel weren't surprised at all.

When those who _were _shocked by the kissing couple looked around and saw the grinning faces of the Baron and Baroness of Mindelan, the Commander of the Own, the Commander of the Queen's Riders and several others, they realized that there must have been _something_ going on already. It would take some time to control all of the rumors that were sure to swirl around the court after this day's events, but for now, Kel and Joren simply didn't care. They had been waiting long enough.

* * *

**A/N: Wow! I've been working through the timeline of events from ****Squire **since Chapter 23 of this story. Now**, I'm **_**finally**_** almost into ****Lady Knight**** territory. ^_^ Honestly! It's been such a long journey to get to this point and I can't believe I'm still writing this story. ;D I truly appreciate your continued support. Please review. Thanks! :D**


	60. Playing with Fire

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Today is a special day for me - I've been on this site for one whole year! I'm having so much fun writing!! Thank you again for your awesome reviews! ^_^ This is the 60th (!) chapter and the review count is almost up to 1,000!! =0 Never fear, I will keep writing this story until it is **_**complete**_** - I yearn to post the final chapter that I wrote before the winter holidays, as well as the epilogue which started me on this fun adventure in wordsmithing. It's just taking me way longer to get there than I had imagined and it's going to take longer still. I'm going away to summer camp this week, so there won't be another update until the following week (hopefully before U.S. Independence Day). I truly appreciate your feedback and it's nice to know that most of you enjoyed the fluffiness at the end of the previous chapter. There's some fluff in this chapter, too. ;D Thanks again for reading my story. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_When those who __were __shocked by the kissing couple looked around and saw the grinning faces of the Baron and Baroness of Mindelan, the Commander of the Own, the Commander of the Queen's Riders and several others, they realized that there must have been __something__ going on already. It would take some time to control all of the rumors that were sure to swirl around the court after this day's events, but for now, Kel and Joren simply didn't care. They had been waiting long enough._

* * *

**Playing With Fire**

Baron Piers of Mindelan, glanced at his youngest daughter and the man she was kissing and knew that it only was a matter of time before there was more than a mere courtship between Keladry and Joren. Of course, he and his wife had known about their kissing for quite a while, but knowing and _seeing_ were two very different things. The passion radiating from the young couple was palpable. Even when they ended their kiss, there was an intimacy between them that, if Piers didn't already know for sure that his daughter was still a virgin, even he would have doubted it.

When Lord Joren had approached him to ask permission to court Keladry, Piers actually thought that Kel could make her own decisions. Of course, the wily diplomat didn't tell the young lord that, because it had been somewhat refreshing to see that he really wanted to do things the traditional way. After this kiss, though, Piers wondered how Lord Joren was going to redeem his daughter's reputation. Any courting that occurred between now and the time Piers and Joren left for the Yamani Islands was the equivalent of playing with fire and the very wise father of nine knew it.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Sir Padraig haMinch observed the long, passionate kiss between the new Lady Knight Keladry and Lord Joren of Stone Mountain with much interest. Even when the couple stopped kissing, Sir Padraig could tell that theirs was not the kiss of new-found affection. No, these two young knights had kissed before - and from the looks of it, they had kissed often.

In his mind, the new training master reviewed everything he had found in the written files that Lord Wyldon had left behind. He remembered that his predecessor had been rather cryptic with some of the remarks in the Mindelan girl's records. Obviously, she was fit for the training and the Chamber had found her to be worthy of knighthood. The question that Sir Padraig wanted answered was how much did Lord Wyldon know about this young couple and what did he do about it while they were under his supervision.

There were three young girls from noble families who had applied to become pages in the autumn. Padraig knew all of their parents and he also knew that he would accept them into the palace training. That was the easy part. What he needed and desperately wanted to know was how to insure that the new girl pages didn't end up with reputations as sullied as Keladry of Mindelan's had become during her time at the palace.

The perplexed training master left the chapel and returned to his office to pour through several years' worth of personal files once again. He knew the information he sought would be buried deep, hidden between the lines of what Wyldon _didn't _write down in his fitness reports. There had to be clues as to what had happened between the years the young lord who, as a squire, had gone to trial for kidnapping the maid of the woman with whom he so clearly was enamored, and now.

Everyone said that the Mindelan girl had grown into her present beauty, and based on the stories of her early brawling, as well as her campaign against hazing, Padraig didn't doubt it. He also knew that one of the current applicants for page-hood already was a pretty little thing who certainly would catch the attention of all her male classmates. Protecting the female pages' virtue was sure to be a headache in the making.

While Padraig knew that training the girls who wanted to become knights - and who had the ability to do so - was the way of the future. He just dreaded training them alongside the boys. Having already raised two sons and three daughters of his own, he knew the joys and pitfalls of their growing-up years. Mixing the sexes here, during their palace training, was the equivalent of playing with fire and the training master knew it.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Tressa Pearlman, daughter of Lord Kinrath of Seabeth and Seajen and niece of Lady Ilane of Mindelan, stared in amazement at the way her cousin, Keladry, kissed the young Lord of Stone Mountain. The two young women wrote to each other often, and Tressa would always cherish her trailblazing relative's support of her recent marriage to a wealthy jewel merchant's son and former soldier of the King's Own. Suddenly, many things became very clear to the rebellious, former Queen's Lady.

It was interesting that Tressa, who'd always voiced her opinions quite loudly, had been the one to turn so many of the young ladies of her generation away from the handsome lord. After the awful trial, no one wanted to be associated with the man who had paid kidnappers to terrorize their favorite seamstress. Many ladies still didn't trust the son of the philandering Lord Burchard, even after everyone discovered that Joren had taken the full blame for crimes that the late Vinson of Genlith actually had planned.

Tressa had known for quite some time that her seemingly shy cousin was sweet on someone because of all the questions she had asked in her letters. Recently, Kel had written to her, asking for her opinion about kissing a man with a mustache. Bran, Tressa's husband, was a rather hirsute man, so she didn't read too much into the question - after all, most men at court wore mustaches and beards. Never in her wildest dreams would Tressa have guessed the mustachioed man to be Lord Joren of Stone Mountain. Clearly, she thought, her cousin was a very good keeper of secrets.

Watching Kel initiate the steamy kiss with Lord Joren made Tressa wonder what had happened in the years since that trial. Clearly, the new lady knight and her former nemesis had come to some sort of reconciliation - and a major one at that. Clearly, the way Kel's fingers lingered on Joren's chest after they stopped kissing was an indication of a much deeper friendship than anyone would have guessed. Clearly, her cousin's actions were the equivalent of playing with fire and the newly-pregnant Tressa knew it.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lord Joren of Stone Mountain stared at the steaming hot cup of tea on the table in front of him. In less than two hours, he would meet the new Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan at the elegant and exclusive Silver Swan Tavern. Joren had arranged for them to have their supper in one of the many small, private dining rooms. Knowing what he had in mind to do later that evening, the young lord understood that he had better consume the potent, magical liquid before that time.

It was this special tea that allowed Joren to hold Kel in his arms, kiss her passionately after the Chamber released her. It was this tea that allowed him to walk calmly away from Kel when she departed the chapel with her family. Nevertheless, he truly missed the feeling of burning desire that he usually felt whenever he was near the woman he loved. Scowling down at the tea cup, he prepared himself to feel like less of a man in order to do what needed to be done. Not drinking the tea was the equivalent of playing with fire and Joren knew it.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lady Ilane brushed a stray hair away from her youngest daughter's eyes and turned the young woman around to face the image in the mirror. Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan merely stared at the stranger who was staring back at her. The lady in the reflection wore a soft gray velvet gown with dusty blue and cream-colored trim around its collar and hems. Her cloak was the same color blue as the trim and it had a gray, fur-lined collar and hood for extra warmth.

The beautiful ensemble was one of three outfits, two in Mindelan colors and one in a deep green, which Kel had discovered in her new rooms at the palace after she passed her Ordeal of Knighthood. While she had been inside the Chamber, Lord Raoul had ensured that all of her personal belongings were relocated to a set of rooms in the wing of the palace where several knights kept rooms for their use when they were in Corus.

Raoul had been somewhat sad when he realized that Kel no longer would be living next to him, but he also knew it wouldn't be proper for her to stay in the connecting rooms once she was a knight. There already were too many rumors about the knight commander and his now-former squire, regardless of the passionate and public kiss Kel had shared with Lord Joren the previous day. Of course, Buri helped Raoul remember the benefits of having just a little more privacy after they all returned from their celebratory supper.

Kel's new suite of rooms was close to one of the outdoor practice yards and there was a tree just outside the window for the sparrows. Jump's pallet lay on the floor next to her new, larger bed, but the new lady knight knew that her comfort-seeking dog would be sleeping with her until the weather turned warm again. There also was a special niche for her armor stand and other fighting equipment, as well as brackets on the wall above her bed on which to hang her glaive.

The gowns, as well as several tunics - both fancy and for everyday wear - were gifts from Lalasa and Tian and her parents. The seamstress had designed every dress so that Kel could wear her sword at all times if she wanted to do so. The lady knight's eyes had welled up with tears of gratitude when she saw her new clothes. Lalasa had even made some warm, winter nightshirts for Kel, one of which she had worn when she climbed into her new, larger bed after her long and happy day was over.

Kel continued to gaze at her unfamiliar reflection while her mother fussed with her short, brown hair. On the upper part of her chest, beside her shoulder, was her new personal badge identifying her as a female knight. Around her waist was a beautiful silver-link sword belt, a gift from Commander Buri, which was both functional and formal. Her new sword, a gift from Lady Alanna - which Kel had named 'Griffin' - hung by her side, almost hidden by the folds of her full skirt.

The only thing that was missing was some matching jewelry. Unfortunately, Kel didn't own anything that would look right with her new gown. However, her mother, who had helped her prepare for her evening out with Lord Joren, dug into the hidden pocket of her own dress and produced a small silk pouch, out of which she pulled a long strand of tiny, pink-hued Yamani pearls and delicate, matching pearl earbobs.

"I've always wanted you to have these, Kel," Lady Ilane told the beautiful young woman in the reflection as she looped the necklace around Kel's neck twice to give the effect of a double strand of pearls. "We bought them together when we lived in Yaman, remember?"

Kel's eyes widened and she said excitedly, "I do remember! Oh, Mama, they're so lovely!"

Ilane's cool fingertips lingered for a moment on the fine silver chain which held her daughter's charm against pregnancy and she sighed, speaking almost to herself, "And they look good against your complexion, too. Unfortunately, they really don't match your outfit tonight, but they'll do until you add more suitable pieces to your own collection." She could tell that both the chain and the charm were quite new.

"They're perfect." Kel stated firmly, "Thank you, Mama." And her fingers ran across the smooth pearls that rested on the exposed skin above the bodice of her gown.

Speaking slowly, Ilane addressed her daughter's reflection again. "Darling, this will be your first time out with Joren since he formally asked for permission to court you. Remember, you don't have to do _anything_ you're not ready or willing to do."

Kel maintained eye contact with her mother's reflection while she fastened the pearl earbobs onto her earlobes and nodded her understanding, trying hard not to give away her thoughts about the plans she had for later that evening. Kel felt both ready and willing for many things, but she _didn't_ feel like chatting about them with her mother at that moment. It had been a long time since they had discussed the things that went on between men and women, but Kel's own dreams - and the letters she'd exchanged with Joren - had kept the information quite fresh in her thoughts.

"It's just supper, Mama," Kel said reassuringly, "And you know the Silver Swan is a place I've only ever dreamed of going to. I'm certain that there will be enough curious onlookers for Joren not to try anything ... um, too forward out in public." The sudden blush of color to her face spoke volumes about her inner thoughts and she ducked her head to escape her mother's arched eyebrow.

"Yes, well, he and your father are leaving for the Yamani Islands the day after tomorrow," Ilane began, "And I know that farewells can bring out all sorts of ... boldness and daring. Of course, you're a full knight, now; responsible for your own decisions and more than capable of taking care of yourself. I just hope that you'll be ... _careful_, alright?"

Kel turned around and gave her mother a big hug. Just then the palace bells sounded the fifth hour after noon and Kel stiffened. She was due at the eating establishment in one bell's time. Her brother, Avinar, was going to accompany her the short distance to the Silver Swan, and then he'd continue on to visit his friends in the city. However, as Kel's eyes briefly scanned her new rooms to make sure everything was the way she wanted it to be, she began to hope that Joren would agree to escort her back to the palace - and her rooms.

Ilane noticed her daughter's meaningful glance around the room and she figured that the young woman was nervous about more than 'just supper'. Things were too neat, as though she was expecting company, because, of course, she was. The well-seasoned mother of nine had a sharp intuition and it told her that whatever _other_ plans Kel might have for the evening, they were the equivalent of playing with fire and Ilane knew it.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Supper at the Silver Swan was not quite what Kel had expected. Joren greeted her with another bouquet of flowers and a kiss on both cheeks. As she had suspected, his behavior as they walked through the elegant main dining room was extremely well-mannered. Barely anyone was there to take notice of them, anyway. Most people were staying in their warm homes and fretting about the trouble up north.

Kel was surprised when the proprietor led them beyond the tables of the nearly empty open area and into a small, private dining room. There was a food cart filled with silver-covered trays and dishes next to a linen-covered table set for two. The pinch-faced man had barely closed the door to the intimate space when Joren reached around Kel's waist, pulled her close to him and kissed her hungrily. She returned his kisses with just as much enthusiasm.

Several minutes later, as the aromas from their delicious-smelling meal wafted into their noses, Kel's stomach growled loudly. At first, she tried to ignore the noise, but then the hunger pangs began to distract her. Joren chuckled and finally released her. Then they both stepped over to the cart and began removing the silver lids. Not wanting any of the food to splash onto her beautiful gown, Joren actually served Kel her supper.

"I think I remember how to do this correctly," Joren quipped as he gently set a bowl of steaming hot, cream of potato soup in front of her. "Master Oakbridge would die of shock if he could see us now." And his blue eyes sparkled in the candlelight when he grinned at her.

Kel's breath caught in her throat and she felt all tingly inside. "He's not the only one," she finally managed to say.

This was a side of Joren she never would have thought existed. No one would have been able to convince her that Lord Joren of Stone Mountain would ever serve another person - not even her - like this. She had to fight the urge to wrestle him to the floor right then and there and force him to take her virginity. Shaking her head to clear away those kinds of thoughts, Kel focused on the fabulous food and hoped that Joren didn't notice her blushing face.

Joren did notice. He watched Kel intently as she ate, as she talked and as she listened. He drank in everything that she did, smiling slightly at the way she seemed to be enjoying her meal. Joren was waiting for the right moment to give Kel the Midwinter gift he bought for her in Maren.

After they finally finished their dessert of fancy, puff-pastry cherry tarts, Joren reached into his pocket and pulled out a flat paper box. Kel, who had smiled at every new dish that Joren put in front of her, did not smile at this. Again, he was giving her a gift and she'd come to him empty-handed. She hadn't even _considered _bringing him a gift because Midwinter has passed by the previous week, when she and her year-mates were still worried about their Ordeals.

"Go ahead, Kel," Joren urged, oblivious to her embarrassment, "It's a little late for Midwinter's luck, but I hope you'll like it, anyway."

"Joren, you shouldn't have done this," she mumbled, "I didn't bring anything for you."

Joren shrugged, "Don't worry about it, Kel. Just open the box -_ please_."

Kel grudgingly complied with Joren's request and then gasped when she saw the intricately-wrought silver necklace and matching earbobs. It was more beautiful than the red crystal jewelry he and his mother had given her almost two years earlier. Kel knew the silver jewelry was expensive and she felt even worse inside. That is, until she remembered that she certainly had something to give him - in fact, she'd already offered it to him, but he'd been unable to accept her gift at that time. Now, there were no monthlies, no wasp stings, and no timelines as obstacles.

"Joren, they're exquisite. Thank you." Kel said as she rose up from her chair. "I just remembered that I _do_ have something for you, but you'll have to come back with me to the palace so that I may give it to you."

Joren blinked. While she was thanking him, Kel had walked around to his side of the table, placed her hands on his shoulders, and leaned down to kiss him behind his ear. Although he had kissed her in that same spot on her neck several times, she had never been in a position to kiss him like that. He inwardly cursed the Bazhir tea, the Bazhir shamans who concocted such a tea, and tea in general.

"It's alright, Kel. You don't have to--" Joren began, but stopped speaking when she her hands roamed over his tensed shoulders and chest muscles as she nuzzled his neck. "Ah ... Kel? Shall we go _now_?"

"I think that would be best," Kel murmured into his ear.

It had begun to snow again. Joren held Kel's hand as they walked up to the palace and made their way to her new rooms. Not quite sure how he would explain this to Baron Piers, the blond lord was relieved to see that the hallway was quiet. Although Kel didn't know it yet, Joren certainly knew that she was going to remain a virgin tonight.

Kel was nervous as she unlocked her door and ushered Joren into her new rooms. He caught her in his arms again as soon as the she'd hung up their cloaks and they stood there kissing for a long time until Kel led him over to her bed. Being alone like this with Joren - in her own rooms and in her own bed - was the equivalent of playing with fire and Kel knew it. It was just too early to know whether or not she'd get burned.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know - it's an evil, almost-fluff cliffhanger! Please don't hate me - I just ran out of time to write more before I had to pull my van out of my driveway and head to summer camp. I apologize again that there will be a longer wait than usual for my next update. While I'm at camp I plan to write like a fiend - using pen and paper, of course - and I promise to update as soon as I return. Until then, please review. Thanks! :D **

**A/N: I would love to know who actually sends in the 1000th review. Congrats in advance!! =D**


	61. No Regrets

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Hello! I'm back from camp and I've hand-written a few more chapters and I plan to update as soon as I type them. ;P BTW, it appears that 'elf warrior princess' sent in the 1000th review! Here's a batch of fresh cyber-choco-chip cookies baked fresh for you, ewp! =D Thank you for being such a faithful reader _and_ reviewer. I appreciate you so much!! I can see that while I was away many of you have been busy reading and writing, too. Also, from the reviews I can tell that you really liked the fluff, so there's a bit more of it here. ;D Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Kel was nervous as she unlocked her door and ushered Joren into her new rooms. He caught her in his arms again as soon as the she'd hung up their cloaks and they stood there kissing for a long time until Kel led him over to her bed. Being alone like this with Joren - in her own rooms and in her own bed - was the equivalent of playing with fire and Kel knew it. It was just too early to know whether or not she'd get burned._

* * *

**No Regrets **

Something wasn't quite right and Kel knew it. After a wonderfully romantic supper at the Silver Swan, she was delighted that Joren had escorted her back to her rooms at the palace. Now, as they kissed and cuddled on top of her comfortable bed in the moonlit room, she could sense that his usual passion wasn't there. The handsome young lord still kissed her deeply, but his hands weren't roaming around the way they had in their previous encouters. And the only articles of clothing either of them had removed were their boots and stockings. Entwined in his almost-chaste embrace, Kel became lost in her troubled thoughts until Joren finally ended their kissing and began to speak.

"Kel ... my Lady Keladry," Joren's voice cracked slightly as he tightened his hold on her, "I want you to know why ... why I came here ... with you ... tonight."

Funny, Kel thought to herself, I didn't think _he'd_ be the nervous one tonight. Turning toward Joren so that she laid on her side, Kel saw the surprise in his blue eyes when she smiled at him and then ran her fingers along the inside of his tunic collar. His eyes widened even more when she began to untie the satin laces of his fancy blouse. She felt oddly impatient and just wanted him to be undressed and get on with it - whatever it was that they were doing. He closed his eyes when she began to speak in a voice that was husky with desire.

"Honestly, Joren, I'm not _that_ naïve," she said, chuckling softly as she kissed the now-exposed skin at the top of his chest. "I know why you came here and it's alright. If you'll recall, I always told you that I'd let you distract me after I earned my shield. We're both knights now and this ... this time together is my gift to you - _and_ to me. Both of us have been waiting for this moment for very long time and I'm truly ready to become yours tonight."

This was something he had wanted so much and to know that she wanted the same thing was the most exciting - and aggravating - experience of his life. He wanted to scream in frustration when his body didn't respond to this warm and willing woman in his arms. The moonlight streaming in through Kel's window made her smile more alluring than Joren had ever imagined it could be.

"Kel, you know that ... that I've dreamed of this for a long time, too, but I ... but I just can't sleep with you now." He exhaled wearily and released his hold on her, letting his arms drop away from her. Then he abruptly turned away from her and curled into himself like a child. He sounded like he was sulking when he continued, "I'd also planned to ... ah, to do something else, but it seems that I'm in no disposition to accomplish that, either."

Kel was stunned. Questions flooded her mind the way tears suddenly flooded her eyes. What did Joren mean by saying that he couldn't sleep with her now? Why was he rejecting her like this? Was it something she had said or done and she hadn't realized it yet? Had she been too forward with him? What if he'd actually found someone else and didn't know how to tell her? Kel's heart suddenly hurt and she was extremely glad to be looking at Joren's broad back so that he couldn't see her sad face.

"W-what do you mean by all that?" she finally managed to ask, but the pain in her voice was unmistakable.

Joren's shoulders slumped and his whole body seemed to sag, but he didn't turn back to face her again. "Kel, I knew what you wanted to do when I came back here with you. I also knew that I couldn't ... that I _wouldn't_ be able to make love to you tonight. I'm so very sorry. I didn't mean to ... to disappoint you like this. And the marking ... well, that was just a ... a bad idea to start with, anyway."

Kel tugged on Joren's shoulder until he lay flat on his back again. Then she leaned up on her elbow and looked into his eyes, her voice now sounding both irritated and confused as she asked, "You'd better explain to me what you're talking about, Joren, because I truly _don't_ understand."

Joren shook his head, "I barely understand it myself, Kel. I wanted to mark you tonight - right _there,_" and he reached up and tapped the place above her heart where her badge of knighthood was pinned to the bodice of her velvet gown. "I wanted to make you mine in a way that would preserve your virtue and ward off any other men who might desire you. But ... but when I saw your badge there, right on top of where I planned to mark you, it didn't seem fair for me to do that to you. You're a knight now - just like I am - and I have no right to mark you without your consent. But if I had your consent, then the marking would be pointless, wouldn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" Kel sounded worried, "By 'marking' do you mean that archaic practice from the days when our ancestors were nomads? Were you actually planning to _bite_ me the way a stallion bites a ... a mare?"

Feeling ashamed, Joren nodded, "Something like that," and he pulled the light blue betrothal ribbon from his pocket and wiggled it in the air above his head. "And I was going to tie this around your lovely neck, too, just to let everyone know that you belong to me now. But then I thought about the way my father actually cursed his own brother with that stupid deathbed compulsion and I couldn't do that to you, no matter how ... how scared I am of losing you to someone else. I know you'll be going north with a lot of other knights while I go west across the sea to the islands with your father. It drives me insane to think of you out amongst so many men who'll see you as a woman, the same way that I do. I _want_ you to belong to me, Kel - but not because I've marked you. No, I hope that of all the other men you could be with, you'll _choose_ to wait for me and be only mine."

"I _am_ only yours, Joren," Kel insisted as she lightly punched him on his shoulder. "Silly man! I've been _only_ yours for a long time and I wanted to be _only_ with you tonight - here, in my bed. You're not the _only_ one who's been waiting for this, you know." And she batted playfully at the ribbon, the way a cat would bat at a piece of string.

"Oh, yes, _now_ I know," Joren laughed ruefully, rolled up the ribbon and tucked it back into his pocket. "But I truly cannot do anything about it at this moment. We'll just have to wait even longer for you to return from the fighting in the north and for me to return from my travels."

Sighing, he draped his arm over his eyes and explained to Kel about the Bazhir tea and his uncle's advice to mark her. Then he talked about wanting to marry her and he explained that he needed her to remain a virgin until their wedding night so that they could fulfill more of the conditions of his father's deathbed compulsion. He also told her about his promises to _her_ father to do whatever he could to redeem her virtue in the sight of the court and that he couldn't betray that trust. For now, there was nothing that he could or _would_ do to change her status. When Joren finished speaking, Kel just stared down at him in amazement.

Thinking about how complicated their relationship continued to be, Kel wondered once again what the gods had planned for them. The new lady knight hadn't known exactly why she'd felt so strongly about sleeping with Joren that night, but now she suspected that it had something to do with the incredible mission the Chamber had given her. She thought about all the ways she'd seen the ladies of the court fussing over the knights who were headed north and how those men - including her friends Neal and Merric and others - had returned their flirtations and had disappeared into the nooks and crannies of the palace for privacy's sake. She also thought about everything her cousin, Tressa, had described to her about loving a man who was a soldier and she wondered if Joren felt the same way - only instead, he loved a _woman_ who'd be going off to fight. Everyone knew that no one who cared for a knight or a soldier was guaranteed to have any future together.

One thing was certain: Kel hadn't wanted to go north into battle and die a virgin and now she felt she had a very strong reason to stay alive no matter how many evil killing machines the Scanrans sent to attack her. Joren loved her and he wanted to marry her and he was willing to wait for her. She couldn't explain to him what the Chamber had revealed to her, but she was thankful that Joren already understood that her duty to the realm came first. Even though her sword and shield belonged to the king and his realm, Kel's heart and soul belonged to Joren and she would do everything in her power to survive and return to him.

"So ... when you came here tonight, you _knew_ that ... that I'd still be a ... a maiden when you left for the Yamani Islands?" she asked him softly and he nodded, still covering his eyes with his arm.

More tears welled up in her eyes, but for different reasons this time. Kel realized that Joren had made a tremendous sacrifice by drinking the Bazhir tea and rendering himself practically useless in bed so that he could protect her from his desires - even though she hadn't wanted such thoughtful consideration at that moment. And the revelation that the man lying on her bed had planned to mark her, but changed his mind and hadn't done it, made her love him even more. Kel quickly made a new decision and her mind raced as she considered how to execute her plan before Joren got up to leave.

The room was quiet, except for Jump's soft snoring at the foot of the bed. The dog's calm acceptance of his presence was somewhat comforting to Joren. He felt the mattress shift as Kel inched her way to the bottom edge of it. Groaning inwardly at his foolish actions that evening, he berated himself as he felt her get up and heard her softly padding across to the other side of the room. Then he heard the rustling sounds of fabric and other odd clinking noises he couldn't quite identify. After the room became silent again, Joren almost jumped out of his skin when he heard Kel whispering into his ear.

"Look at me, Joren," was all that she said.

He complied with her request by lowering his arm and turning his head toward her. Then he turned his whole body on its side and leaned up on his elbow to gaze at her. Lady Keladry of Mindelan, the second of only two female knights of the realm, stood by the bed, bathed in moonlight. She was wearing her special charm on its silver chain, as well as the beautiful silver necklace with its matching earbobs, which the young lord had given her earlier that evening - and nothing more. Joren's blue eyes widened as he took in the sight of her. Kel smiled and blushed at the expression of wonder on his face.

"I think silver suits me, don't you?" she tilted her head and asked him coyly. Then she walked around to the foot of the bed and climbed back onto it.

Joren closed his eyes and silently cursed his bad timing and ill luck while Kel slid underneath the covers and settled herself close in behind him. This was something completely unexpected and it went quite a bit beyond playing with fire. Whatever game his lady knight was playing now, he hadn't the faintest idea what the rules were or even if he should stay there and play. Part of his mind screamed at him to run away before he did something they'd both regret, but the other part was intensely curious to see what Kel had in mind to do next.

"Keladry," his voice cracked again and he cleared his throat before continuing, "You know I can't ... I've explained to you why ... Mithros! Wh-_what_ are you doing?"

Kel had cuddled up closer to Joren, even though she was under the covers while he still was fully clothed and on top of them. She had placed a trail of kisses along the back of his neck before she loosened the thin leather cord that held his hair in its tight horsetail. Running her fingers through his thick locks and playfully tugging at the ends of several blond strands sent thrilling sensations down his spine, even though his insides remained disengaged. Joren wasn't sure whether he should stop Kel or let her go further.

"Well ... _I_ planned to sleep with you tonight," she said in a tone of voice that he'd never heard from her before, "So, regardless of your current ... um, condition, I hope you'll stay with me - at least for a little while. I want you to hold me, Joren. I want you to remember me like this, so that when you are off on your travels and the pretty ladies swarm all around you, you'll have something to look forward to come back to here in Tortall. You don't need to mark me or to place your ribbon around me; you just need to return to me and I'll be yours forever."

With that, Joren turned over, held her face in his hands and kissed her full on the lips. Kel- _his Kel_ - by her actions had said 'yes' to him tonight. She had offered her whole self to him, and even though he couldn't accept her 'gift' at that precise moment, he knew that someday they would be together in every way possible. He also knew it would be several hours before the effects of the Bazhir tea wore off, so he quickly shed his clothes and slid under the covers to hold the woman he loved, just as she had requested. Then they cuddled and kissed each other for a while until they both fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Joren woke with a start. The fire in the hearth had burned down very low and the air was chilly. In the distance, he heard the palace's soft chimes indicating that it was three bells past midnight. He became aware of the warm, naked woman asleep in his arms and he smiled to himself as he breathed in the scent of Kel's hair. His body responded immediately with an intensity he hadn't felt in such a long time. The effects of the Bazhir tea had worn off and Joren knew it was time for him to leave before he completely lost control and destroyed the trust he had so carefully built with his lady knight.

Slowly, so that his movements wouldn't wake Kel, Joren slid out of the bed and got dressed as quietly as he could. Then he went into Kel's outer room and rummaged through one of her desk drawers until he found a scrap of paper and the stub of a pencil with which to write her a short note. A familiar piece of paper in the drawer caught his eye and he winced when he held it up to the firelight and recognized the horrid little poem he had written to Kel so long ago. Although it warmed his heart to know that she'd kept it all these years, he decided that it was time for him to compose something new - and much more relevant - to take its place. He put the poem back in the drawer and finished writing his note.

Then Joren tiptoed back into Kel's bedroom and lightly kissed her smooth cheek. Whispering, "I love you, Kel," into her ear, he froze when she stirred. Since she didn't awaken, he placed the note on the pillow where he had been sleeping only minutes earlier. When Jump looked up and blinked at him, he held his finger to his lips, pulled the hood of his cloak over his head and quietly left the room. Lord Joren of Stone Mountain felt no regrets as he exited the palace gates and made his way back to Marbleton House and his own cold, lonely bed.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

When Joren woke up, his startled movement had caused Kel's eyes to fly open, too. They'd fallen asleep together like spoons, with her back toward him and his arm wrapped around her middle. She'd definitely felt him stirring behind her and had laid very still and kept her breathing even so that he would think she was still sleeping. When he'd left her bed, Kel was very disappointed, but she appreciated the fact that Joren didn't seem to want to do anything to ruin her honor any more than he probably already had. Her whole body tingled with excitement and when he had whispered in her ear, she forced herself to stop moving and allowed him to leave without a fuss.

Kel sat up in her bed as soon as she heard the door latch to her outer room click shut. Holding the sheet across her naked chest she picked up the scrap of paper on the pillow next to her. Since the moon no longer was shining into her window, it was too dark to read the note, so she decided to get out of her bed and light a candle. While she was up, she also removed the fancy jewelry, put on one of her new nightshirts and placed a few more logs onto the fire in the hearth for added warmth.

Jump grumbled and tucked his head under his body to shield his eyes from the sudden light. One of the sparrows ruffled its feathers, but it settled down quickly, too. Kel ignored her animals' sleepy complaints and her eyes welled up with happy tears as she read Joren's note.

*************

_My Dearest Kel,_

_Tonight was wonderful and surprising and I hope you have no regrets. Silver does suit you quite well and I'm glad you liked my present. I shall miss you terribly while I'm gone. May the gods all bless and keep you safe until we can be together again. Sweet dreams, my love._

_Truly yours forever,_

_Joren_

***************

Holding the note against her fluttering heart, Kel blew out the candle and climbed back into her now-chilly bed. Jump lifted his head again and didn't hesitate to leap up and settle into the covers when she patted the empty space next to her. Now that she'd spent much of the night in the arms of the man she loved, the lady knight felt that she could set aside her private desires and focus on the tasks the Chamber had set before her. And even though the evening hadn't gone exactly as she'd hoped it would - she'd remained a maiden after all - Kel had 'played with fire' and even basked in its warmth for just a little while, but she hadn't been burned. In fact, Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan smiled when she realized that she certainly had no regrets at all and she fell back into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

**A/N: While I was at camp, I started to think about Kel's character development, both in TP's wonderful original work and here in my parallel-timelined AU story. A lot of fanfiction writers seem to portray Kel as only shy and/or stoic and/or demure, but when I read the PotS series, I see a brave and headstrong - almost too stubborn - young woman with a dry sense of humor and a ton of resilience. In my story, I think she'd look around at the way the guys are acting and figure out that, as a knight, she can have as much or as little romance as they do. Her reputation is already as low as it can get, so why not have a little fun, too? That's why she's begun to take the initiative here with Joren. I'm just sayin'. ;D Also, my version of Joren has spent so much time under the influence of his mother and his uncles now, that the bad influences of his father and his cronies have mostly faded away. Never fear, though, Joren will always be an arrogant prick about some things - it's his basic nature - but Kel's going to do her share to whip him into shape, too. (Pun completely intended.) ;D Alas, although I wrote a lot while I was away, now I have to type it all. My keyboarding skills are not the strongest, but I'm working as fast as I can so that I can update soon. Again, I appreciate _all_ of you who are continuing to read my story. You're the best!! Please review. Thanks! :D**


	62. Across the Emerald Sea

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Yay! I'm into the time frame of Lady Knight now! :D I hope you liked the previous chapter's worth of fluff, because - no surprise - there won't be much in the way of K/J fluff here. :-( Lord Joren will be away from Lady Kel for most of this chapter, and I'll be jumping through time both here and in the following chapter. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Kel looked more confused, so Ilane began to explain, "Kel, darling, your father already has plans to take Lord Joren along on our next trip to the Yamani Islands. We were going to wait until after the royal wedding, but the trade situation must be settled sooner rather than later. The House of Stone Mountain has maintained holdings in the islands for several generations and its new lord has agreed to leave with us very soon after your shield is in your hands. I'm afraid that you two will have to continue your courtship via correspondence for a while longer." Then she smiled knowingly at her youngest daughter. Kel now had an official suitor and Ilane wondered how long it would be before she had another son-in-law._

* * *

**Across the Emerald Sea **

The winter waves of Great Emerald Sea were large and active. They tossed vessels about the rolling surface of the water like toy boats in a tub and every time the sea heaved, so did the stomach of Lord Joren of Stone Mountain. Definitely a landlubber, Joren couldn't seem to develop a set of 'sea legs' to save his life. All he hoped and prayed for was to reach the Yamani Islands in one piece; he'd worry about his follow-on excursion to the Copper Isles,as well as his return trip later - _much_ later, if he could help it.

Thoughts of future sailing made his sides ache as he coughed up and spit out the small breakfast he'd unsuccessfully tried to keep down. Suddenly, Joren felt a hand grasp his shoulder and pull him back from the railing. "Here, Lord Joren, drink this!" Baron Piers of Mindelan ordered. The older man held out a tankard of strong-smelling ale that had something else mixed into it.

The seasick young lord tried to shake his head as he looked up from the ship's rolling deck. This is where he'd spent most of his four days at sea so far - leaning over the railing and puking off the back end of the ship, cruelly named 'The Dancing Lady.' His face was a pale and sickly green and he only was able to hold his head up for a moment before retching again. Nothing, not even bread and water would stay down. Joren feebly waved his hand in a dismissive gesture toward Kel's father.

Piers voice turned into a fierce bark above the howling wind, "Young man, I _said_ drink this, and I mean for you to drain this cup! And you'd better start praying to both Yama _and_ the Wave-Walker if you have any idea of what's good for you."

Scowling at Piers, Joren took the tankard and slowly put it up to his lips, but he couldn't make himself drink. Everything he'd put in his stomach just came right back out so far. His apprehension and loathing showed on his face.

"I don't care _what_ your position is, _my lord_," Piers responded to Joren's unspoken defiance, "If you don't comply with my order within the next few moments, I'll force that tonic down your throat. Now drink!"

Joren closed his eyes and brought the tankard up to his lips. Thankfully, the aroma of its contents didn't cause him to retch again. Slowly at first, and then with more vigor, the seasick man drank the entire cup of tonic. He waited a moment as the sea swells lifted the boat a few times, but his digestive system had decided to accept the smooth-tasting liquid. After several minutes of letting the cool sea air fill his lungs, Joren realized that he wasn't going to vomit again and he relaxed.

"Thank you, sir," Joren croaked as he handed the empty tankard back to the baron, "What's in that drink, anyway?"

Piers' face was Yamani calm as he shook his head and said, "I'm not telling you until _you_ tell me why someone spotted you leaving the palace in the early hours of the morning _after_ you escorted my daughter back to her rooms. I was certain that we'd had an agreement, Lord Joren. You're supposed to be rehabilitating Keladry's reputation - not sullying it further!"

_Blast it all!_ Joren thought as he gulped and nearly gagged on the salty sea air. This time there wasn't any bile to push back down his throat, but there may as well have been. He should have known that the Baron had spies to watch his every move with his daughter. His mind raced to figure out a way that he could explain what he and Kel _hadn't_ done without giving away details of what they _had_ done.

"Baron Piers ... sir," Joren said quickly, "It's not what you might think. Your daughter ... _she_ invited _me_ to her rooms after our supper. Honestly, though, we were just sleeping."

Piers' raised eyebrows told Joren that the man did not believe him.

"Actually, uh ... we ... we did fall asleep ... um, together," Joren stammered, "But I didn't ... we didn't ... I mean, the _tea_ ... and well, Kel _is_ still a maiden after all ... sir. I ... I left her in the middle of the night while ... while she was still sleeping and I--"

Piers held up a hand to silence the still-pale young man and prevent him from babbling on. Although his expression was calm again, when the baron spoke, his voice sounded tight. "Lord Joren, please, say no more. Just be grateful that my wife had mercy on you and decided to share her remedy for seasickness with you. She starts drinking this potion a day or two prior to us ever boarding a ship and then every day once we're out to sea, before she has her breakfast. If you're nice to Lady Ilane, she just might decide to help you survive the rest of our week out here on the open water."

"Thank you, Baron Piers. I appreciate your assistance, sir." Joren sounded contrite, but neither Piers' expression nor his tone of voice changed when he spoke again.

"I, on the other hand, do not wish to have any other long conversations with you, Lord Joren, until you're prepared to discuss the terms of your betrothal to my daughter," Piers said. "I'll allow that, as a knight of our fine realm, Keladry may determine her own future. Clearly, though, she's made up her mind about you."

Joren fought to hide his triumphant smile, but Piers' grim facial expression helped him to be more sober. "Yes, Baron Piers," was all he managed to say before Kel's irate father cut off his speech again.

"I must say, this foolishness has gone on long enough," declared Piers indignantly. "You know and I know that you and my daughter have been courting each other for years. This current _official_ courtship is merely a formality. _Everyone _saw the way you kissed each other farewell on the quay. Mithros, son! Keladry will have absolutely no chance for a decent reputation if you continue such behavior with her - even if it is_ just sleeping_, as you say." And with that, he turned and walked away from Joren.

It was shameful that the guilt-stricken young lord couldn't see the slightly upturned corners of Baron Piers' mouth after he left him by the railing. He'd never know that Piers was teasing him to assess his reactions and responses. He'd never know that Lady Ilane's father had given Piers a similarly scathing speech when they were betrothed and hadn't yet set a wedding date. It was a pity that Joren couldn't hear Piers' confession to Ilane, once he'd returned to their quarters and recounted his conversation with the young man.

"Piers! You didn't!" Ilane exclaimed, horrified. "The poor man has been so seasick and you took advantage of his weakness. I _knew_ I should have taken the tonic to him."

"I'm sorry, Ilane," Piers said as he wrapped his arms around his wife in a gesture of apology. "I was only attempting to prod our Keladry's suitor into action. There's no need for them to wait any longer - they _should_ be betrothed already. And I'm quite certain that Joren took me seriously, because he looked so remorseful when I left him. I admit, though, that I might've gone a bit too far."

Ilane just shook her head disapprovingly, "Really, Piers, that wasn't necessary. Remember, _you_ told our daughter that _she_ could determine her own destiny. You said it yourself that Kel deserves some time to enjoy her knighthood - and her freedom. Besides, she and I have talked several times and I _know_ she's still a virgin. I've made sure she wears a pregnancy charm at all times and I've warned her to be careful. You're just being vindictive because of that farewell kiss between Kel and Joren before our ship set sail."

"Farewell _kisses_, my love," Piers corrected and he kissed the sensitive spot behind Ilane's ear. "There were _many_ kisses. Courting or not, their public displays of such ardent affection are unwise and you can't deny that. Now if they were _betrothed_ already, it would be quite different."

"Well, _my love_, when _we_ were betrothed," Ilane gave him a sidelong glance, "We did quite a bit more than just kissing. And when _we _slept together, we did precious little sleeping, thanks to the lovely little charm I still wear around my neck."

"Yes, yes, we certainly did," Piers chuckled and kissed her softly on her lips. "And _your_ father nearly drew his sword on me when he found out about us, remember? Young Lord Joren merely received a stern warning from _me_. No weapons were involved."

Ilane sighed happily and said, "Oh Piers, what can you possibly hope to accomplish between Kel and Joren? My father's angry threats toward you really worked because we already were betrothed - and as I recall, you became quite urgent to set a date for our wedding after that. But _they'll_ be apart for so much time. Courtship by correspondence is all they can do at this point and you know as well as I do that courier service between Tortall and the islands won't be regular as long as those accursed Scanran wolf ships keep raiding all along the coast. Perhaps it's time for you to stop meddling and just allow events to unfold as the gods see fit, hmm?" Then she untangled herself from him and walked to the door.

"Yes, well, that's what I'm afraid of, my dear," Piers shook his head and ushered her out the door, "By the way, don't be surprised if Lord Joren attends supper tonight and he's especially nice to _you_. I told him you just might be willing to give him the recipe for your tonic. And if he wants to talk about a betrothal agreement, for gods' sake, Ilane, don't discourage him." Then they held each other's hands as they headed to supper.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

That evening was the first time in three days that Joren had joined the other passengers in the small but elegant dining room. He didn't eat much - mostly out of fear of embarrassing himself if he couldn't hold down the delicious food - but he enjoyed both the meal and the company. Other than Kel's parents, Joren recognized some high-ranking members of the stone-cutter and mason's guilds, as well as representatives from a few other noble families whose fiefs also contained major quarries within the realm.

Most of the conversations around the captain's table were about the upcoming trade talks and Joren wisely kept his mouth shut. Over the past two years, it had become painfully obvious that Lord Burchard and his overseas agents has bullied and badgered most of these men into giving Stone Mountain the most favorable status and contracts. The young lord had worked hard at building better relationships with the other Houses, as well as with the guilds, but he knew not to speak too freely at even the most casual gatherings. Stone Mountain still held the majority of contracts with the Yamanis, as well as with the Copper Isles, and the overly aggressive behavior of Lord Burchard's agents was largely responsible for the current trade crisis.

Thankfully, Joren was seated between Lady Ilane and a black-haired, tan-skinned man who had nothing to do with the trade talks. There was something vaguely familiar about the man, but since he didn't contribute very much to the overall conversation, it was difficult to determine the man's origins or opinions. When the young lord expressed his eternal gratitude to Ilane for the tonic that calmed his seasickness, the mysterious man chuckled softly.

"My own dear wife cannot stand being out on the open sea," said the man, whose voice had an indeterminate lilt, "Mage though she be, nothing seems to cure _her_ seasickness. My lady, I'd like to have a taste of that tonic of yours sometime, just to see if it's any different than the ones my wife has already tried."

"Certainly, Bar- uh, sir," Lady Ilane's flushed face betrayed her usually calm appearance. She'd almost made a mistake and she scrambled to cover her words. "I'll give you the recipe, too. I always make it fresh in the morning and I drink a full cup of it prior to breakfast. When we lived at the Yamani court, we had to travel to the various islands as part of our diplomatic duties. One of the Yamani ladies, whose husband rules an outlying island, showed me how to mix certain herbs with regular ale. The tonic has never failed to get me across the open waters in good health." Then she explained how she made the special mixture.

Joren hadn't missed Lady Ilane's near-fumble and he began to watch the man more carefully than before. Later that evening, when the meal was over and everyone was returning to their individual quarters, he caught up with the tall man in the narrow passageway and asked to speak privately with him. The man nodded his head and ushered the young lord into his cozy chamber. There was only one chair at a small desk, which the man offered to Joren and then he took a seat on his bunk.

"How may I help you, my lord?" said the man in a friendly tone of voice. "What's on your mind this fine evening, now that you're not puking out your guts anymore?" His smile was genuinely friendly.

"You're Baron George Cooper, aren't you?" Joren quietly asked, his eyes intently watching the man's face.

Shaking his head and chuckling, George answered, "Ilane is usually better than she was tonight. I haven't heard her fumble like that in a long time. And I suppose I'll have to make some adjustments to my disguise, especially since _you_ guessed my identity so quickly, Lord Joren. How did you know, by the way?"

"I've met you before, sir," Joren said, "While on the King's Progress. You hold yourself a certain way. I ... I wanted to speak with you then, but there just didn't seem to be a good time for that."

"_You_ wanted to speak with _me_?" George asked, his hazel eyes twinkling. "Whatever for, my lord? I have nothing to do with the quarries and such. I'm just a simple man who happens to be married to a complicated woman." And he grinned broadly.

When Joren looked directly into George's eyes, he realized that the man already knew something about what he wished to discuss with him, or that he had guessed correctly, anyway. "Sir, I want to know ... I _need_ to know - how do you do it? How do you ... love a female warrior? How do you stand her going off to fight while ... while you _don't_?"

George leaned forward and spoke slowly, slipping back into more of a commoner's accent, "A lifetime of patience an' trust, my lord." He ran his fingers through his short, dyed hair, making it stand on end. "Baron Piers hinted t' me that you're interested in his daughter, Lady Knight Keladry. Actually, what he _told_ me was that you are, in fact, formally courtin' her now. And by th' looks of th' kisses you two shared on th' quay, that must be true, right?"

"Yes, sir," Joren nodded slowly, not breaking eye contact with the intriguing man in front of him, "I hope to ... to marry Lady Keladry someday, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Well, I do know _how_ to propose to her and all, but there's no one else who can advise me on how to ... to _live_ with a woman such as her. I spoke with Lord Raoul once, but it's not the same since he and Commander Buri aren't married. You and Lady Alanna have been married for a long time, so I'm sure _you'd_ know a thing or two about ... about lady knights. You see, every time I think I've figured Kel out, she ...she surprises me."

George laughed aloud and said, "Well, Lord Joren, _that's_ goin' t' happen no matter what. Certainly, my champion of a wife is unique - just as Lady Kel is unique - but you could marry a princess or a shepherdess and stilldiscover somethin' new everyday. _All_ women are full o' surprises. That's what makes th' married life worth livin' - in my humble opinion."

"But how did you make things right so that you could _have_ a married life?" Joren asked. "I have no idea when I'll see Kel again or if she'll want to marry when I'm ready to marry. And ... and I've got to have an heir. How in the world did you ever manage to have _children_ with a wife such as yours?"

George laughed even harder this time, until he had to wipe tears from the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry, my lord, I mean no disrespect. But th' look on your face reminded me of my younger self so much, I couldn't help but laugh. Twasn't easy, that's for certain! Thank the gods that Raoul could step in an' be the King's Champion while my Lioness was off havin' our cubs. But a man can't _plan_ these things, not really. Duty comes first an' every knight has sworn to protect th' realm. Wars happen and th' knights go away t' fight 'em - even th' lady knights of old answered their kings' summons just like th' men. That's what knights do - th' good ones, anyway - they live up to their oaths. But you already know this."

Joren sighed wearily. "Yes, of course, it's just that ... well, I _want_ to be with Kel - Lady Keladry - sooner rather than later, and I truly want her to be the lady of my House. I've wanted that since ... well, for a very long time. I want her to bear my sons and yet ... and yet, I don't how we'll manage it. She's very serious about fulfilling her duties as a knight."

George Cooper never would've thought that he'd have anything in common with the very blue-blooded knight sitting in front of him. He scratched his head as he tried to think of words of encouragement for the handsome young lord, "What can I say? You know, I was th' Rogue for many years and now I have a ... a much different life. I truly understand about duty an' all, but everyone's entitled t' have a bit o' privacy, too. I do th' things I have t' do, so that I may spend as much time with Alanna as possible. She'd flay me for sayin' this to you - an' I know you probably can't imagine it - but she's my own sweet lass when we're alone. She's also a good mother, though most can't see that, either. Our life is still full o' surprises an' truthfully, I wouldn't have it any other way. If you really love and respect each other, you'll figure it out. I'm certain that you'll have your own set o' surprises along th' way."

Thinking intently about George's words of wisdom, Joren blankly stared ahead for a while before he asked, "Speaking of surprises, Baron George, what are you doing on _this_ vessel, anyway? And why are you trying to disguise yourself?"

George chuckled and replied, "While my wife rides off t' fight th' scutty Scanrans - no doubt alongside your lady love - I have my own business t' tend to. It's just easier for me t' go through th' streets unnoticed if I don't look so much like Baron George Cooper. Of course, I can't change my height, but I _can_ alter my appearance and my accent. It just makes things go a bit smoother. You'll find that th' juice from boiled black walnut husks makes a fairly effective temporary hair an' skin dye. You might consider such a thing for yourself if you plan t' travel a lot in th' future. Kidnappers an' other criminals tend t' go after th' loved ones of important people."

Joren winced at what he hoped was an unintentional barb and nodded his head. Then he had to stifle a yawn. Now that his seasickness was quieted and he'd held down his supper, his body craved sleep. He thanked George for his advice and asked if they could speak again sometime. The former Rogue bowed graciously to Joren as he ushered him out of his quarters and told the young lord he'd be welcome at Pirate's Swoop anytime.

"Incidentally, my lord" George said, adopting a formal accent again, "Please address me as Master Ferranon, who happens to be a wealthy grain merchant, when you see me in town, which - I can assure you - you will."

"Ferranon?" a confused Joren asked. "Isn't that a Marenite name?"

"Indeed it is," George answered. Then he winked at Joren and closed the door.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Being on dry land never had felt so wonderful. Joren was tempted to kiss the gravel path on which he walked through the capital port city of Yaman. Baron Piers and Lady Ilane assisted the young lord with settling into the well-appointed inn located very near the Emperor's main palace. They also had hired a trustworthy manservant for him - someone who could speak both the Yamani language as well as Common and who knew the customs of both sides of the Emerald Sea. Still, Joren wished that Spencer, his faithful servant, had been able to accompany him on the journey instead.

Joren was quite impressed with his spacious accommodations. Surprisingly, he really liked the clean, crisp lines of the Yamani architecture and furniture. And he truly appreciated the luxurious sunken bath. Every day that he soaked in the tub large enough for two people to sit in, he thought about the possibility of installing such a thing at Stone Mountain. He definitely intended on investigating what it would take for him to bring or build one of the large soaking tubs back home.

A few days after everyone had recuperated from their sea voyage, they all attended a welcoming banquet hosted by the Emperor. Joren now was exceedingly grateful that Yamani etiquette had been an important part of Master Oakbridge's curriculum while he was a page. The young lord managed not to embarrass himself; however, he felt his face turn bright pink when one of the emperor's aides commented that his deceased father never seemed to care all that much about adhering to Yamani customs.

Joren discovered that it was good for the new Lord of Stone Mountain to be so closely associated with the Tortallan ambassador. Although they had stayed within the Imperial Compound when they lived in Yaman for six years, the Baron and Baroness of Mindelan now maintained a separate dwelling in town. The large structure also operated as a sort of embassy for the citizens of Tortall who resided in the Yamani Islands. Piers and Ilane began to host a series of informal banquets at their residence and Lord Joren frequently was among their honored guests.

At one such gathering, Joren saw a woman who made him stop in his tracks. She looked so much like Kel that his heart practically did a flip. She was not as tall as his lady knight and she was dressed in a traditional Yamani kimono, but she had the same dreamer's hazel eyes as Kel. When Ilane introduced the familiar-looking lady as her oldest daughter, Lady Patricine noh Akaneru, Joren had to force himself not to stare at her.

Upon closer examination, Joren noticed the differences between Kel and her older, but shorter sister. The woman's's brown and silver hair was very long and hung down her back in the traditional Yamani style. Joren knew that Lady Ilane's hair had turned silver very early and it seemed that her eldest daughter was going to suffer the same fate. In his vanity, the young lord truly hoped that Kel hadn't inherited that particular family trait. And no, he decided, _this_ woman's eyes didn't have the same light or heat behind them as his love's wonderful, changing eyes. Lady Patricine was beautiful and graceful, though, and her appearance made him wonder if this might be what Kel would've look like if she'd stayed amongst the Yamanis.

"So, you are the man who has captured my baby sister's heart," Patricine stated coolly after she bowed to him, "Lord Joren of Stone Mountain, my other sisters have written to me about you, also." Her face was as expressionless as the face of every other Yamani in the room.

"I hope their reports were favorable, my lady," Joren said smoothly after rendering the appropriate bow to a woman of her status, "However, knowing your sister, Lady Adalia of Nond, as I do, I fear that any description of my interactions with Lady Knight Keladry might _not_ cast me in a favorable light. I do hope that you will take the time to get to know me for yourself and _then_ judge accordingly."

Patricine whipped open her fan and held it in front of her face. She'd lived in Yamani society for such a long time that her mannerisms were no longer Tortallan, but Yamani. Only a tiny crinkle in the corner of her eye betrayed the fact that she was amused.

"I can see why my sister likes you so much," Patricine said looking him over from behind her fan, "Most people don't know this about Kel, and to look at her you'd never guess it, but she always liked pretty things. When she was very young, I'd constantly find my jewelry, especially the silver pieces, tucked away in her little treasure box. You're a very pretty man, Lord Joren - has Kel been able to tuck you away yet?"

Joren blinked in amazement. He couldn't believe that he'd just heard Kel's sister make such a bold comment. There was no way that he was going to answer that question. First of all, he hated being called pretty, so she'd already offended him and he struggled not to show it. Secondly, Lady Patricine was practically a stranger to him and she had no business knowing his business.

"I care very deeply for Lady Keladry," Joren managed to say politely, trying to mimic the Yamani calm, "It's no secret that I hope she'll consider marrying me someday. Until then, we remain close friends."

"Until then, make sure she wears a pregnancy charm," Patricine said bitterly from behind her fan, "Without one, we Mindelan women drop babies likes rabbits." Then she walked out of the main room, down a corridor and disappeared around a corner.

Lady Ilane came from behind Joren and had a look of severe embarrassment in her eyes. It was apparent that she'd heard her oldest daughter's last comment when she attempted to apologize fo her breach of proper etiquette.

"Lord Joren, please forgive Lady Patricine's rudeness," Ilane said quietly behind her own open fan, "My daughter has recently discovered that she is with child for the seventh time. Of course, she loves all of her children dearly, but she never planned to be the mother of so many. The Yamanis revere men with large families. Patricine doesn't necessarily desire such abundance, but it _is_ a family trait, as she so pertly pointed out. Unfortunately for her, my son-in-law takes away her pregnancy charms whenever he finds them on her."

"Lady Ilane," Joren whispered, still watching the hallway where Kel's sister had disappeared, "I promise you, Kel and I haven't--"

Ilane gently placed her hand on Joren's forearm to quiet him and whispered back, "I know you haven't, Lord Joren, and I understand why. Your mother explained it to me once. But my eldest daughter is correct. If you do marry Keladry, be very careful. I still wear a charm - just in case."

Joren turned sharply to stare at Kel's mother, who only arched her eyebrow at him and then walked off to socialize with other guests. He began to wonder if having such a large family caused the House of Mindelan to be just a bit too open with their private lives. After all, how much privacy could there have been for Kel's older siblings when it was so obvious that their parents kept creating more children? Then again, he'd begun to be intrigued by the thought of having a large family - just not any time soon. Joren knew that he selfishly wanted Kel all to himself for a few years first, so he'd buy her all the charms she could stand until they both were ready for children.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

In between the many meetings with his agents and other nobles, Joren spent his free time shopping in the large markets of the capital city of Yaman. He smiled often when he thought about all the gifts he'd bought for Kel. He also spent some time making offerings to the Yamani goddesses, Yama and the Wave-Walker, as well as to Sakuyo, the Yamani trickster god. He figured he needed all the help he could get for when he set foot on a ship again.

True to his word, Joen spotted Baron George Cooper out and about in the marketplaces, too. They saw each other a few times and it never ceased to amaze the young lord where the man would turn up. He knew the man wasn't a mage but George moved about so easily, seemingly appearing and disappearing at will, that Joren wondered what the husband of the realm's elder female knight truly was doing in Yaman. He became especially curious when the baron casually walked next to him one afternoon and informed him that he was leaving, but that they would meet again in the Copper Isles.

The formal trade negotiations finally began by the end of February. Joren wasn't surprised by the animosity he felt from across the bargaining table, but he followed Baron Piers' lead and maintained a straight, impassive face during the often-heated negotiations. By the end of March, everything was settled and both the Yamanis and the Tortallans were satisfied with the outcome. All parties had signed the new legal agreements and now the only thing that remained was the grand tour of the individual islands and their various mines and quarries.

Joren was grateful for the presence of Kel's diplomatic parents when they accompanied him to the different islands scattered across the Yamani Sea. He also was grateful that Lady Ilane had shared with him the secrets of her anti-seasickness tonic. Otherwise, he never would have survived the long journey. All of the larger islands were inhabited and considered separate fiefdoms ruled by warlords, but there were quarries on a few of the minor islands as well. One entire island was basically a prison, where the convicts spent their days digging iron out of the solitary mountain. The entire tour took three months to complete.

Before he left the Yamani Islands, Joren actually spoke to Kel's father about formalizing a betrothal agreement. To his amazement, Baron Piers informed him that he'd have to speak directly with Keladry about such matters because _she_ was the only one who could decide her future. The older man apologized for his earlier bluster and confessed that he'd only wanted to see what Joren would do when faced with such adverse conditions. He was quite impressed that the young lord had tried so hard to please him.

Supplied with enough of the right herbs to make the stomach-soothing, ale-based tonic, Joren's journey to the Copper Isles was uneventful. Once he arrived in Rajmuat and settled in at another very nice inn, the Lord of Stone Mountain discovered that he did not care for the hot and humid climate of the southern islands. He didn't really feel comfortable around the nobles of the House of Rittevon, either. Of course, the Copper Islanders barely tolerated anyone from Tortall, regardless of their social status, so Joren confined his outings to visiting his agents and shopping for gifts in the main marketplace.

Luckily, Joren did see the merchant 'Master Ferranon' during his stay in Rajmuat. Or rather, the merchant saw him. He'd noticed a pickpocket going after Joren's purse and conveniently stumbled into the would-be criminal to interrupt the marketplace scheme. The disguised George only winked at the young lord in passing before he disappeared into the crowds again. Joren was quite happy to board a ship and travel on to Port Legann. After his seemingly endless five-month journey, it was good to be back in Tortall.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

During his lengthy journey, Joren wrote a letter to Kel every week. In each letter he had expressed to her how much he missed her, asked how she was doing, and explained his adventures or the lack thereof during the times of the very boring meetings. Courier service across the sea was severely disrupted because of the Scanran blockade along Tortall's northern coast, so he realized that she probably wouldn't receive most of his letters for quite a while. Still, it was important to Joren that he wrote and sent them because he wanted Kel to know that he was thinking about her all the time.

Although he knew how difficult it was for mail to catch up with him, Joren was disappointed that he had received only a few letters from Kel during that entire time. The last he'd heard from her was when she was still in shock over the fact that Lord Wyldon had asked her to command a refugee camp. There'd been no letters from his lady knight since the middle of April. When Joren arrived in Corus at the end of June, he discovered the reason why.

Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan - now known throughout the realm as the Protector of the Small - had been quite busy commanding her post and saving her people, as well as the rest of Tortall, from the horrors of the Scanran killing machines and the evil mage who created them. Joren was astonished to hear the details of Kel's daring and unauthorized rescue mission across the enemy lines. Now, more than ever before, the Lord of Stone Mountain had more in common with the Baron of Pirate's Swoop. He, too, was in love with a living legend.

* * *

**A/N: A funny thing happened when I re-read Lady Knight while I was away at camp. I finally noticed that the events of the entire book take place over a six-month period of time - and really less than four months if you don't include the epilogue! That's right, when you take a look at the time frame of TP's original story, most of the action takes place between mid-March and June of 460 H.E. - amazing, huh? I'd already planned to change very little of what occurred Kel's life during Lady Knight, so get ready for some serious time-jumping in the next chapter. Obviously, there's no big scene between Kel and Cleon at this point in my story, but there will be a lot more character development, several letters, and a few surprises. ;D Again, I appreciate all of your reviews and I look forward to reading what you have to say about my work. Thanks! :D**


	63. Northern Adventures

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Thank you for some of the nicest reviews applauding my time jumps through Lady Knight. ^_^ Although I wish I could just leave Kel's adventures in command alone, I really must 'tweak' a few episodes here and there to get them in line with the flow of my Alternate Universe. For the sake of brevity, everything from the attack on Haven through Kel's confrontation with Blayce and until the return of the refugees from Scanra happened the same as in the original story. Nevertheless, I hope you'll like the next few time jumps as much as you liked Joren's sea voyage. Once again, I've come up against TP's infamous missing year (grrr!) and I realized that I should have changed the date on all the letters between Joren and Kel earlier. Anyway, I've made the adjustments in this chapter, so don't be confused by the 'date jump' - it's still the same time frame (only **_**461**_**, instead of 460 H.E.) as in the previous chapter. Again, there's not much K/J fluff here - just lots of plot points and character development. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak, Kel's former knight-master and present taskmaster, was not in his study when Kel arrived there after breakfast. Another morning conference, she thought, and sat down with chalk and slate to calculate the number of wagons they'd need to move the King's Own's supplies up to the Scanran border. She was nearly done when Lord Raoul came in, a sheaf of papers in one ham-sized fist._

_"We're in it for certain," he told Kel._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Lady Knight_

* * *

**Northern Adventures**

Kel was nervous and excited and aggravated all at the same time. The missions the Chamber had given her to stop Scanra's evil mage and his killing devices were real. Now that it was the middle of March, the snows would be melting away and the northern passes soon would be clear and the possibility of going north also was real. Now that the missions the king had given them were in writing, the planning sessions Lord Raoul had conducted with her weren't mere tools for her continuing education - they, too, had just become real. For Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, everything was moving too fast and too slow at the same time.

* * *

_Her horses tended, Kel reported to a palace library. There, she and the other knights who were her year-mates (young men who had begun their page studies when she had) practiced the Scanran tongue. Many Scanrans spoke Common, the language used in all the Eastern Lands between the Inland Sea and the Roof of the World, but the study of Scanran would help those who fought them to read their messages and interpret private conversations._

_After lessons Kel spent her time as best she could. She cared for her weapons and armor, worked on her sword and staff skills in one of the practice courtyards, ate supper with her friends, and finally read in her room._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Lady Knight_

* * *

By the time she started walking back to her own rooms that evening, Kel's head ached because of the massive amounts of information crammed into her head from all the reports and charts Raoul had given her to read that week. The only thing that lifted her spirits was the thought that there might be a letter from Joren waiting for her on her desk. Ever since he had traveled with her parents to the Yamani Islands, the young lord and the realm's newest lady knight had continued their courtship by correspondence, usually writing to each other weekly.

This being one week since the receipt of his previous letter, Kel was sure to have heard from Joren by now. The neat stack of folded and sealed parchments on her desk brought a bright smile to her face. After reading the letters from her parents and her far-flung siblings, Kel saved the best for last and gleefully tore open the familiar Stone Mountain seal.

*************

_To Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_Inn of the White Cranes and Lilies, Yaman_

_February 25, 461 H.E._

_My Dearest Kel,_

_I miss you so much! Everywhere I turn, I see reminders of you. I met your sister, Patricine, at a reception at your parents' residence last night. I can't tell whether or not she likes me because she hides behind an open fan the way all the Yamani women do here. Fan or no, Patricine's resemblance to you made it difficult for me not to stare at her. Of course, she's not as pretty as you are, especially with so much silver in her long brown hair, but I can see that both she and you have your father's eyes._

_As I've said before, seeing your father's eyes also reminds me of you. The trade negotiations finally have begun and I fear I shall die of boredom. Baron Piers glares at me from his expressionless face whenever he thinks I'm not paying close enough attention - just the way you used to do when we were study partners. Although he assures me that the discussions will become livelier by the end of next week, yesterday's session was nearly unbearable. The only reason I haven't fallen asleep during the speeches and embarrassed myself is that I keep thinking of you and your beautiful hazel eyes. _

_Thinking about your eyes reminds me of the way you looked at me when you came down to the quay to bid your parents and me a safe sea voyage. I've been remembering our last kisses before the ship set sail and those thoughts have kept me rather alert at the bargaining table. Perhaps the Yamanis will see the sparkle in my eyes and assume that I'm paying attention to their offers and counteroffers, but I suspect that your father will not be fooled. _

_I hope that all is well with you and that your friends aren't teasing you anymore about those farewell kisses. They're just jealous now that they know I'm officially courting you. And I do apologize for any unkind rumors that my former friends might be spreading. They're probably jealous, too. Anyway, I truly wish you were here with me now. Until next time, please know that this letter is filled with a thousand kisses only for your sweet lips._

_All my love,_

_Joren_

*************

Kel closed her eyes and sighed with happiness. She loved getting such constant correspondence from Joren. It had been quite a while since she'd thought about their time as study partners. Now she was very glad that she'd helped her former nemesis with his writing skills. His letters to her filled her with such joy - and no small amount of wonderful, tingly feelings - from the top of her head to the tip of her toes.

In her previous letter to Joren, Kel had complained that there seemed to be no end to the jokes and comments that her year-mates and others made about their passionate displays of affection before he left. Jealousy was as good a reason as anything else to explain some of the more ridiculous rumors she'd heard, too. Fortunately, the lady knight had developed a very thick skin over the years and she'd only mentioned the incidents to Joren to let him know that people were still talking about them. Hopefully, she thought, once they went north to battle the Scanrans, all such talk would cease.

* * *

_At dawn on the first morning of the last week of March, the army's vanguard of knights and lords of the realm set off for the border. Kel rode Hoshi, with Jump in one of her saddlebags and sparrows clinging to every part of her and her equipment. On the bluffs north of the city she murmured a soft prayer to Mithros for victory and one to the Goddess for the wounded to come.... _

_Riding with Third Company of the King's Own, Kel had spent plenty of time slogging through mud and slush. She was used to that. It was her constant riding companions, Prince Roald and Sir Nealan of Queenscove, who sometimes made her wish her family had stayed in the Yamani Islands. The bitter conditions were echoed by the moods of both young men. They were betrothed and in love with the women they were to marry. They moped. Kel tried to make them think of other things, but the moment conversation lagged, they returned to the contemplation of their Yamani loved ones._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Lady Knight_

* * *

"Aagh! Stop it! Both of you!" Kel exclaimed in frustration one afternoon as they rode along after their midday meal. "If either of you sighs longingly one more time, I'm going to whack you on the head with a stick. Let's at least _try_ to have a conversation that doesn't include the words 'lovely' or 'soft' or 'Yamani' in it, _please_. I'm about to fall out of my saddle from sheer boredom."

Neal made a rude noise and then replied sullenly, "Hah! Just because your _laddy-love_ is neither 'lovely' nor 'soft' nor 'Yamani' doesn't mean _you _don't miss him, too. We've seen you take out his letters and read them over and over again, so don't you tell us that we're the only lovesick ones out here."

"Fine! But _I'm_ not the one moping from dawn till dusk over circumstances I can't change." Lifting her chin with an air of defiance, Kel replied through clenched teeth. "He ... my ... the _man_ who's courting me is all the way across the Emerald Sea. We've been apart more time than we've been together over the past two years - and I have no idea when I'll see him again. You've been with your _lady-loves_ constantly ever since they arrived in our fair realm and even though we've been on the road for less than a week, you two act like you've been separated from Shinko and Yuki for a _decade_."

Prince Roald nudged his mount closer to Neal and cuffed the man on the shoulder, saying, "You know, Neal, Kel's right. Here we are, acting like the sun might never rise again because we won't see the ladies to whom we're betrothed for ... what? Perhaps a few months? Can't you see the irony of the situation? Shinkokami and Yukimi are from the Yamani Islands, but they're here, within the borders of our realm and we may ride a few days to get back to see them. Meanwhile, Joren, who is from here, isn't even on this side of the sea; he's in the Yamani Islands now. The _only_ thing Kel may do is read his letters."

Neal just shook his head and protested, "But it's different for those two and you know it, majesty! _They_ aren't betrothed. At least, not yet, anyway. Are you, Kel?" He turned toward her and she scowled at him.

"No, Neal. Joren and I are not betrothed like you and Yuki," she said frostily. "However, there are thousands, _millions_ of things we all could discuss while we trudge along for who knows how long, and none of them have anything to do with betrothals, wedding plans or lovesick hearts. Mithros save us! That's _exactly_ my point!" Then she kicked Hoshi into a trot and rode ahead until she found a place next to Lady Alanna, leaving behind her male companions to wonder why their friend was so prickly.

"Men folk getting on your nerves?" Alanna asked quietly, chuckling. "Goddess! That sure brings back memories! When we traveled to the Drell River valley to fight against Tusaine, I thought I'd go raving mad if Raoul and Gary had one more discussion about the color of this lady's eyes or the curve of that lady's lips. And they have the nerve to say that we females are the sentimental ones."

"Honestly!" Kel sounded grumpy. "I've known the Yamani ladies for a very long time - longer than the men have - and I, too, care deeply for them. It's just that ... well ... I only wanted to talk about something different. I'd even be happy discussing this awful weather. Didn't Lord Raoul say that the mages predicted it would be fairly pleasant for this time of year?"

Alanna laughed. "No, that's what Raoul _wishes_ the weather mages had said. They only foretold that the roads and passes would be clear of snow and that's precisely what they are: clear _and_ bitterly cold. If my aching bones are correct - and they usually are - we'll have rain within another few days."

"Lovely," Kel said with considerable sarcasm. "That'll give Neal even more to complain and sigh about."

"I hear you," Alanna agreed. "I've also wanted to tell my former squire to quit moping about his 'Yamani Rose' and concentrate on the missions ahead of us. His lovesick sighing was tiresome enough back when he wasn't sure whether she'd return his affections. Ever since their betrothal became official, Neal's constant blather is enough to make me want to pull my hair out. I can't believe you put up with all the whining for this long. Now, tell me, how is your nephew holding up as my son's page-sponsor so far?"

When she had discovered that it was Alanna who'd been her mysterious benefactor during all her years of training, Kel wondered how she'd ever be able to repay her. She'd also found it difficult to relax and be herself whenever she was around the king's champion. Alanna quickly dispelled such nonsense by challenging the new lady knight to practice matches whenever possible. The first few times, Kel fought timidly, but Alanna forced her to see the two of them as partners-in-arms and, despite their age difference, they were becoming good friends.

Now Kel smiled at her heroine and began to talk about how much Ander's son, Lachran, a second-year page who had volunteered to sponsor Alan of Pirate's Swoop, liked Alanna's younger son. While the oldest son, Thom, had inherited their mother's magical Gift, Alan seemed to have inherited their mother's fighting skills. Everyone had thought the girl twin, Alianne, would be the one to follow in their mother's famed footsteps - especially after Kel had forged the path - but to Alanna's deep disappointment, Aly hadn't wanted to become a knight. And the fact that Alan was slightly older than Lachran, because he'd started his page training a bit late, hadn't been a barrier to the boys' friendship. The time passed quickly as Alanna laughed at the stories of the pages' mischief that Kel shared with her.

Later, when they'd all stopped for the night at a way station, Kel thought about the events of the day. Prince Roald and Neal's talk of love and their betrothals truly had touched a nerve with her. Deep inside, Kel longed to be done with her special mission against the killing devices and she hoped the Tortallan army would quickly defeat the Scanrans so that she and Joren might have a chance at more than just a courtship through their weekly letters. When Kel was certain that no one could see her, she pulled out Joren's latest letter to her - one she was certain would be the last of its kind for quite a while - and read it as she had every night that week before going to sleep.

*************

_To Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_Inn of the White Cranes and Lilies, Yaman_

_March 19, 461 H.E._

_My Dearest Kel,_

_It was so good to hear from you and I hope this letter reaches you before you depart from Corus. Even though I still plan to write every week, I realize it will be nearly impossible for you to receive any mail while you are fighting against the Scanrans. Gods! I hate being barred from the battlefield! I'd be a happy man if only I could ride north with you and fight by your side. Perhaps in the future we'll be able to do that. What do you think? Wouldn't that set everyone's tongues to wagging? _

_Again, there are so many reminders of you here. When I went to the grand marketplace near the harbor yesterday, I found a shop that sold those little waving cats like the ones you have. There were thousands of them, in every size and color combination along the walls. The vendor told me that they are considered lucky and I believe her. Yours certainly have protected you over the years. _

_Someday, I must tell you about a merchant I met on the ship, named Master Ferranon. He says he's from Maren and I've seen him from time to time here in Yaman. He even saved my purse from being stolen by a street urchin today. However, I think the lucky cat figurines I'd just purchased must have had something to do with him stopping the crime before it happened._

_Anyway, Master Ferranon pointed me in the direction of the main store of the Imperial Katana Armory. I never realized that there were so many different types of glaives - or naginata, as they call them here. You never told me how wonderful the Yamani blades are! I immediately bought two new belt knives. I also discovered that the sword Lady Alanna gave to you has many 'cousins' at the Armory. Every one of them that I held in my hand felt perfect, so I gave in to the temptation and bought one for my own use. _

_Speaking of temptation, there's not very much of the special Bazhir tea remaining, so I've stopped drinking it until I return to Tortall and can obtain a fresh supply. I truly enjoy going to sleep now because my dreams are filled with visions of you, my love. Although this has caused me no small amount of discomfort, I suppose I'll just have to endure the pleasant torture with a happy smile on my face. My only complaint is that I miss you so much I ache all the time. I wish I could hold you once more before you head north. May the gods be with you and keep you safe! _

_All my love,_

_Joren_

*************

Kel knew her face was blushing, even though no one could see her. Maybe someday, as Joren had said, they'd be able to fight side-by-side. That thought gave her something else to look forward to in their future - if they both survived long enough to have a future. She refolded the letter and tucked it back in to one of the hidden pockets in her saddlebag where she kept a few of her most treasured items, including one of her waving cat figurines, when she traveled. Hopefully, her own dreams would be filled with visions of Joren, instead of Blayce and his horrible killing devices that had been haunting her nights recently.

* * *

_Kel had been on the road ten days when they stopped in Queensgrace for the night...._

_"He's got no family. Where can he go?" demanded the innkeeper. "But he can't just leave work. Boys need discipline. Elsewise he'll go as bad as the feckless Scanran slut that whelped him and left him on the midwife's step."_

_"If he was left with the midwife, how did he come to you?" Kel asked._

_"She died. We bid for the boy's indenture. Paid for seven years, we did...."_

_"What's your name?" she asked. "And how old are you?"_

_The boy retreated under Peachblossom's belly. He watched her warily from between the gelding's forelegs. After a moment he said, "Tobe, miss. Tobeis Boon. I think I'm nine."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Lady Knight_

* * *

"Lady, _lady_! Please wake up!" The boy's pleas finally broke through Kel's dreams and she sat up, gasping for air.

It took Kel a moment to she realize that she wasn't alone in her room. There, next to her bed, stood her newly-acquired servant boy, Tobe. It had been a week since she'd purchased his indenture papers from his abusive former master, Alvik, an innkeeper in the town of Queensgrace. Tobe looked groggy and worried at the same time.

"I'm sorry, Tobe," Kel tried to sound reassuring as she said, "I keep hoping you'll learned to sleep through my nightmares and not let them bother you, too. Did I yell out Blayce's name again?"

The wide-eyed boy shook his head and whispered, "No, lady, but you was thrashin' and moanin' and I got scared. I din't want no one to think _I_ was hurtin' you."

Kel replied softly, "I'm sure no one would think that, Tobe. See?" And she waved a hand at her sleeping dog. "Jump knows you're a good person."

"Yes, lady, I know that," Tobe looked at the ground before continuing to speak, "He always wakes up, too, when you have the bad dreams 'bout Blayce or the Chamber. But this time ... this time you kept sayin' a dif'rent name and Jump's still sleepin'. It ... it wasn't the same."

Now the hairs on the back of Kel's neck stood up. Who else would cause such thrashing around in her dreams? If it wasn't Blayce or his tall henchman, Stenmun, then who ...? But she suddenly remembered exactly what her latest dream was about and felt a warm blush wash over her entire body. "Tobe, can you recall what I said before you woke me this time?" Kel asked, holding her breath, not sure that she wanted to know what the boy had heard.

"It's hard t' say, lady," the boy yawned and rubbed his sleepy eyes. "I couldn't make it out. Mayhap Jon or Jorn. You were moanin' and all, but you din't sound scared or angry like with Blayce. Who's this other person?"

Kel closed her eyes and thanked the gods that the room was dark. She was certain that her face was a deep red and she prayed to all the gods that Tobe wouldn't be able to sense her embarrassment. It was bad enough that the boy already knew about her Chamber nightmares, as well as little bits of information that Peachblossom apparently had shared with him. Kel finally decided to put her charge's mind at ease.

"The name is 'Joren' and he's ... he's actually my ... um, friend," she sighed tiredly.

"A friend?" he asked, scratching his head. "Oh. _Oh _... so that's why Jump doesn't seem t' care if'n you were sayin' that name in your sleep." Living with a midwife most of his young life, and then working at a busy inn, Tobe knew a thing or two about the ways of men and women with each other. Now _he _was blushing and felt embarrassed. The boy was very glad his new mistress couldn't see his face in the darkness of their room.

Kel reached up and patted Tobe on the shoulder. She tried to sound reassuring as she said, "Don't worry about Joren - he's traveling abroad, across the Great Emerald Sea in the Yamani Islands. You'll meet him someday, but not any time soon. Now, let's try to get back to sleep."

"The Yama-- whats?" Tobe asked, puzzled. "Where's that?"

Kel shook her head and said, "Never you mind that right now. Tomorrow's ride promises to be another long and wet one. We'll talk more after breakfast."

She watched her new 'stray' return to his pallet and settle into his bedroll. Then, listening to the patter of rain on the inn's roof, Kel snuggled back under her own covers and thought about the _newest_ strange turn of events her life had just taken. Now, in addition to an ornery horse, an ugly dog and assorted intelligent sparrows, the young lady knight was responsible for an intuitive orphan boy who woke up every time she had an active dream - good or bad. What had she been thinking?

Worse was what others were thinking. One of the first rude remarks anyone made came from Kel's year-mate, Quinden of Marti's Hill. He'd asked her how she and Joren had managed to hide their 'love-child' all these years. Never mind the fact that Kel would've had to have given birth to Tobe when she was nine years old herself. It was ridiculous! Unfortunately, the looks and whisperings from some of the conservative knights and nobles told her that people actually were wondering if Tobe _could_ be her natural child, after all. And with his fair hair and eyes, the boy certainly looked as though Joren could have sired him.

Even Kel had to admit; Tobe bore an uncanny resemblance to the men of Stone Mountain. The boy's deep-set, sky-blue eyes often made her think of Joren's beautiful eyes. Although his hair was honey-blond instead of white-blond, there was a similar stubbornness around the mouth and chin that was a bit unnerving to Kel. Improbable as it was, she wondered about Joren's family heritage and if Scanran blood ran deeper in their veins than they liked to admit. Pushing all such thoughts from her mind, Kel finally forced herself to sleep again.

* * *

_Wyldon leaned back in his chair. "I won't dance about it," he said. "I'm giving you the hardest assignment of any knight in this district. I think you will hate it, and perhaps me."_

_Kel's skin tingled. So the news _was _bad. She set her cup on his desk and straightened. "My lord?"_

_"General Vanget has asked me to build and staff a refugee camp in addition to the new fort... The only ground I can get for it is an open piece of elk-dung valley between Fiefs Tirrsmont and Anak's Eyrie, on the Greenwoods River. There's the river for water, and flat ground for planting if no one expects to grow more than enough to survive. There's fortified high ground now, and troops to defend it. My new fort, Mastiff, will be here, on the other side of these hills. We'll patrol as much as we can, to keep Scanrans from getting very far, but there's just too much empty ground and too much forest to plug all our gaps."_

_... So her worst fears were true. He didn't want her in combat. Instead, she was relegated to the protection of refugees. It wasn't _right_. She had more real fighting experience than any first-year knight, even Neal. If she had to wait to pursue the mysterious Blayce and his guard dog, Stenmun, she wanted to spend that time fighting...._

_"Who's to command this place, sir?" she asked, forcing her voice to remain even, her features smooth and calm._

_Wyldon raised his brows, "You are."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Lady Knight_

* * *

At first, Kel was bitterly disappointed with Wyldon's decision to put her in command of the refugee camp. She knew everyone would think that he was trying to shield her from the 'difficulties' of real warfare - and she was right. Some men, especially staunch conservatives like Quinden, scoffed at such a young knight being placed in command, but they also commented on it being a 'soft' assignment - duty suitable for a female. It even was difficult for Kel to speak about her disappointment to Neal and Merric, both of whom were now under her command, because she was certain that they nursed their own bitterness at Wyldon's decisions.

Only in her letters to Joren did Kel pour out any of her real feelings. She'd written to him about Tobe in an earlier letter, but her last letter to her far-away sweetheart was filled with descriptions of her adventures in the newly-built, walled-in camp and all the preparations she and the soldiers were making so that they'd be able to receive the refugees. She also told Joren about the ways the mages Numair and Daine had helped to strengthen the land and the animals of her new domain. She'd intended to write to him every week, but other major events, such as rescuing her people from Blayce's evil clutches, prevented that from happening.

* * *

_Wyldon took a step closer to her, cupped her head in both hands, and kissed her gently on the forehead. "You are a true knight, Keladry of Mindelan," he told her. "I am honored to know you." He steered her down the path her friends had taken. "Interesting news came from the battlefronts this morning," he said. "Apparently, the killing devices at Frasrlund and the City of the Gods collapsed in the field and move no longer. King Maggur's troops are plainly frightened, though he's still in control. The spymasters plan to set it about that a powerful new mage has entered the war on our side, one who did away with the devices."_

_Kel smiled crookedly._

_"Not that we're done fighting," Wyldon continued. "Frightened Scanrans are dangerous and Maggur is still king. Have you thought about your duties now, where you will be assigned?"_

_His question took Kel by surprise. She searched for a coherent answer until at last she said, "My lord, up until we landed I assumed my next assignment would be on Traitor's Hill, and not as a guard."_

_Wyldon nodded. "Very proper. As your punishment, then, I assign you to find ground for a new refugee camp, build it, and run it. Continue to instruct people how to defend it. I give you the entire valley of the Greenwoods River as your subdistrict of my command. You will hold it and make it safe against Scanrans and anyone else who thinks those people will be easy pickings."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Lady Knight_

* * *

After Kel and her friends who'd accompanied her on her soon-to-be-legendary rescue mission had cleaned up and rested for a few days, they all gathered in the dining hall and ate a 'welcome home' meal. The refugees had resettled into the cramped barracks at Fort Mastiff, where they'd all remain until Kel and her advisors found a site for the new camp. That evening, after they cleared the tables, everyone sat around and had a time of hearing the latest news from all over the realm. While they listened to stories of others' northern adventures, servants brought thick packets of correspondence around to the tired knights; their letters had been clogging the mail room at Fort Mastiff until their safe return.

Owen grinned with jolly glee at the few letters he'd received, especially the scented one from his knight-master's youngest daughter, Margarry. Then his eyes widened when he saw the much-larger bundle of letters that a servant placed in front of Kel. Ten pieces of folded parchment all bore the same fancy wax seal. He noticed a knowing glance pass between Prince Roald and Neal. He also noticed that the lady knight didn't open any of those obviously special letters while they sat at the table.

Once she made it back to her room, Kel read every one of Joren's letters - in order from the ones he'd sent in April, until the latest one on the stack, dated only two weeks earlier. He obviously had no way of knowing it, but he'd written to her on the same day she'd discovered the desecration of Haven. Wiping an unbidden tear from her eye, Kel read every word with soaring spirits. Joren was on his way home to Tortall.

*************

_To Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_The Kypriang Inn, Rajmuat, Copper Isles_

_June 4, 461 H.E._

_My Dearest Kel,_

_Where _are_ you? It's been so long since I've heard from you and I miss you so very much. The few reports I've seen about the battles between the forces of Tortall and Scanra have not been encouraging and I'm trying not to worry. I visit the temples every day and pray for your safety and well-being. Gods, I hope you are staying away from those awful killing devices! Please write to me whenever you can._

_It wouldn't surprise me if this letter reaches you before I do. Although I am sailing from Rajmuat tomorrow, I must travel to Pearlmouth first and meet with my agents there, before I may return to Corus. I'll miss having your parents with me on this sea voyage, but now that I know how to make your mother's special tonic, I should fare much better than I did on my way to Yaman. Honestly, though, it'll be a long time before I'll want to set foot on a ship again._

_After Pearlmouth, I had planned to visit my mother in Persopolis as I traveled northward. However, I recently received a letter from her informing me that the desert's summer heat had come early, so she closed up the villa and she's staying with her brother at Barony Dunmoor for the duration of the summer. I suppose I'll see her there, after I check on things in Corus._

_I hope the king will allow me to travel on to Stone Mountain, just for a short visit. I never thought I'd miss the place so much, but all this traveling has made me somewhat homesick. Uncle Langdon still doesn't want me to be anywhere near a battleground, but I haven't seen my home for such a long time. Surely, he'd feel safe if I promise to stay within the castle walls while I'm there. _

_Are you looking forward to your nineteenth birthday? I wish I could be wherever you are and give you all the gifts I've acquired for you during this long, long trip. I look forward to the time when I may hold you in my arms again. I look forward to the time when I may kiss your sweet lips. I look forward to the time when you'll agree to mine forever. As always, may the gods all be with you and keep you safe! _

_Love,_

_Joren_

*************

Kel sighed happily. The thought that Joren might already be within the boundaries of the realm filled her with giddiness. Tobe, who'd been asleep for a while, lifted his head and blinked at her in the candlelight.

"Is everything alright, lady?" he asked groggily, "Why're you still awake?"

"You should still be asleep, Tobe," Kel urged, sorry that her sighing had awakened him. "I'm just reading. I've received a lot of mail since the beginning of my ... um, northern adventures. I apologize for waking you, now lie down."

"Oh," was all he said before snuggling back under his covers against the dim light. "Lady Kel," came his muffled voice after a few moments, "I'm glad you hardly dream about Blayce an' Stenmun an' them evil monsters anymore."

"_Those_ evil monsters," Kel gently corrected. "Remember Tobe, someday you're going to serve with me amongst other nobles - and they won't necessarily be as understanding as Sir Neal or Sir Merric. I really do want you to speak properly. Now, go to sleep." She had a feeling she wouldn't be dreaming about Blayce and Stenmun tonight, either. Then, sending up a silent prayer that her dreams wouldn't wake the boy, Kel blew out her candle and drifted into a very happy sleep.

* * *

**A/N: There! **_**Now **_**we've made it almost through the end of Lady Knight. Hopefully, you'll have noticed why I had to cover some of that ground again from Kel's perspective. BTW, there's a two-month time jump in Lady Knight between the final chapter and the epilogue. My next couple of chapters will take place during that gap. Again, because of Kel's 'missing year', I've adjusted the dates to reflect TP's own corrections by the time she wrote the Trickster duology. Therefore, all the action of this chapter and the previous chapter, as well as the next few chapters to follow, takes place between March and September of 461 H.E. ;D Thanks again for your wonderful reviews! Please keep 'em coming! :D**


	64. Surprises

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: The seeds for the 'story vines' in this very long, semi-filler chapter were planted many chapters ago. I confess that the scenes are somewhat 'soap opera-ish,' but I think they're necessary to the overall resolution of several plot points. Also, I know you really want more K/J action and fluff and I promise it's coming soon, but I must take care of these loose ends first. Yikes!! =D Now this story is over 300,000 words long and I'm still writing it! Here we go ... Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_After two months or so the fortified town of New Hope still looked raw, but it was starting to resemble an actual town rather than a logging camp thrown together in a week._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Lady Knight_

* * *

**Surprises**

While Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan and the surviving refugees of Haven were busy building the new town, Joren was busy meeting with his agents in Corus. He also spent some time at the palace - in the practice courtyards - brushing up on his combat skills. There weren't many knights at the palace against whom he could spar, but those who were there informed him of the major events of the past few months. One thing was obvious: everyone still was in awe over Lady Knight Keladry's daring rescue of the captured refugees. Her defeat of the mage who powered the awful killing devices was becoming quite the modern legend.

Although his time in the Yamani Islands had taught Joren to mask his true feelings behind bland facial expressions, it was very difficult for him to maintain his composure. Several of the people who were staying at the palace remembered his and Kel's public and passionate kissing and they asked the young lord how it felt to be courting such a popular - and peculiar - young lady. Truthfully, he was both proud and jealous of Kel's successes and he tried not to let either feeling show whenever someone spoke of her.

One evening while the young lord was eating supper at a very nice tavern in town, he was quite surprised to hear a minstrel singing a rather bawdy ballad about the new lady knight's adventures. It took every shred of self-control he possessed not to smash the singer's five-stringed instrument to pieces. Remembering his discussions with Baron George Cooper, Joren stormed out of the tavern to cool off. When he returned to his meal and heard the minstrel singing a different, sweet song about the lady knight, he realized he'd just have to get used to the fact that the 'Protector of the Small' was a popular figure now. Joren only hoped that most people would treat her with the respect she deserved.

Hero or not, now that the 'Protector of the Small' and her brave comrades were recovering at Fort Mastiff, Joren hoped he would hear from Kel soon. He knew she was alright, but it had been such a long time since he'd received any type of correspondence from her. At this point, he would've been happy if she'd sent him a few words scribbled on the back of a torn-off piece of paper. One summer afternoon, when Joren returned to Marbleton House after a morning of rigorous training at the palace, a new letter from Kel was waiting for him.

*************

_To Lord Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_Fort Mastiff, Northern Tortall_

_June 17, 461 H.E._

_Dear Joren,_

_Please accept my apologies for not writing to you sooner. Amazingly, I just received all _ten_ of your latest letters to me and I read every one of them - in order. I'm thankful that the clerks here at Fort Mastiff have been holding on to all correspondence addressed to any of the knights who are stationed nearby. If these precious letters from you had been delivered to Haven, they most likely wouldn't have survived the Scanran raiders' attack and that would've been quite tragic, especially since I had such lovely dreams last night. _

_I trust that you are doing well and that you have fully recovered from your sea voyage. Please give my regards to your mother and to your uncles. They must be very happy to see you, too. By now you must have heard about my northern adventures. Everyone involved is recovering still, but Lord Wyldon's people are treating us very well here, so I can't complain. _

_Haven is uninhabitable and the refugees are crammed back together in temporary housing. Tomorrow we will scout for a better location to build a new refugee camp that Lord Wyldon wants me to command, too. I already know that we'll name the fortified town 'New Hope' and we'll start working on it's foundations as soon as possible. When the fighting has subsided, perhaps you'll be able to visit._

_Thank you so much for remembering my nineteenth birthday! Actually, it passed by without me or anyone else even realizing it because we were so busy. I'm very curious about the gifts you've been saving for me, of course, but please know that you really don't have to give me anything but your wonderful kisses and I'll be happy. I only wish to be with you again, even for a short time. Until then, I'll look forward to seeing you in my dreams. May the gods all bless you and protect you._

_I miss you and I love you._

_Yours Truly, _

_Kel _

*************

Joren grinned at the thought of seeing Kel again. The well-traveled Lord of Stone Mountain realized that it was time for him to request a private audience with the king. Then he sighed. It also was time for the amorous young man to start drinking the special Bazhir tea again. Fortunately, he'd acquired a new supply of the mixture when he passed through Persopolis on his way north.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Thank you, Lord Joren. These reports are quite thorough and it seems to me that you truly have become lord of your domain," King Jonathan applauded the young lord's two years of traveling and working hard to understand, as well as take command of his family's holdings. "I'll tell you something else; many nobles never fully accomplish this feat, much less a man of your youth and inexperience. You've done very well by your House."

Joren had bowed his head in acknowledgement of the king's generous compliments, "Thank you, Your Majesty. I shall continue to do my best."

"I'm certain of that, Lord Joren," said the king and then he asked, "How is your mother, Lady Virryn, feeling these days? I hope she's finally happy and getting better."

The hairs on the back of Joren's neck stood up and his skin prickled. Why would King Jonathan ask about his mother's health and happiness at this time? Had Lady Virryn been at the court recently? Had she been ill again and decided not to tell him about it? What did the king know that Joren didn't know? Joren hoped his face didn't show his surprise at the king's questions.

"Your Majesty, I actually haven't seen my mother since I returned from my travels," Joren calmly replied, even though he felt anything but calm. "I had hoped to have a nice visit at her villa in Persopolis, but she'd already left the desert heat for the cooler climate of Barony Dunmoor several weeks ago. However, from the tone of her most recent letter to me, I must assume that she's feeling fine now. I will see her at my Uncle Lars' home very soon."

King Jonathan nodded slowly. "I see." It was clear to him that the young Lord of Stone Mountain had no idea of certain recent events that had taken place within his family. The king decided not to tell him; he would find out soon enough. "Barony Dunmoor is wonderful in the summer months and your uncle hosts one of the best Midsummer festivals in the realm. The wine is always superb. You must drink a toast in my name for the safe return of our soldiers while you're there."

"Thank you, Your Highness," Joren inclined his head, "I'll pass your compliments on to my uncle and I promise to make a toast or two for you; however, but I also hope that you will allow me to travel on to my own fief after the festivities have ended. Everyone has told me that the fighting along the border is mostly concentrated in the northwestern corner of Tortall - far from my home. I'm certain that my uncle and the knights and soldiers he commands will be returning to the garrison at Stone Mountain soon and as their overlord, I ... I'd like to be there to welcome them back."

King Jonathan was impressed by the young lord's earnestness. He sensed that Joren truly meant what he said - he wasn't merely _trying_ to sound like a concerned overlord; he really did care about the men who had fought behind the banner of Stone Mountain. The king also was impressed by the Joren's apparent patience. It was a surprise to the monarch that the man standing in front of him had _not_ requested permission to visit Fort Mastiff, where a certain young lady knight happened to be located.

Jon wasn't deaf to the wild tales he'd recently heard about Lord Joren and Lady Keladry's courtship, nor was he foolish enough to ignore the visions his champion was having about a certain type of sacrifice that the young couple could make upon their wedding day. Alanna was certain that the Goddess had visited her dreams and verified that, despite all the nasty rumors, Lady Keladry remained a maiden. The King knew it was time for him to address the issue as directly as possible and give the young man the encouragement he needed to carry out his 'mission' for the Goddess.

Jonathan nodded. "General Vanget has said that he'll be sending many knights back from the eastern section of the Scanran border by the end of summer. Of course, there's always the chance of running into bands of raiders or strays, but it should be safe enough for you travel to Stone Mountain and the surrounding area. You may welcome your fighting men home, Lord Joren, and I believe that Sir Langdon will appreciate your presence now. Incidentally, I've heard that you have been courting Lady Keladry of Mindelan - from a distance, obviously. I find this to be quite interesting, especially given your past history with each other."

Joren blinked in surprise. While he was grateful that King Jonathan was allowing him to return to Stone Mountain, he wasn't expecting the king to bring up the subject of his courtship with the lady knight first. Scrambling to think of an appropriate response, he stammered, "Sir ... ah, Your Majesty ... we ... um, Lady Keladry and I settled our ... um, differences long ago. We now are good friends - very good friends."

"Indeed, you are." Jon said dryly. "From what I understand, all you have left to do now are to marry and produce an heir or two." Then he grinned wickedly at Joren. "Of course, you and your chosen lady may take your time. I have it on very good authority that wherever you decide to have your wedding and offer your extra-special sacrifice to the Great Mother Goddess, _that_ land will enjoy a harvest unlike any previous year. I advise you to choose wisely."

"Y-yes, sire," Joren nervously licked his dry lips and nodded. "We ... we will. Does this mean, Sire, that ... that you _approve_ of my asking Lady Keladry to marry me?"

Jon laughed and nodded, "Not only do I approve of it, I _highly_ encourage it. I believe it's time to put an end to all the nasty rumors and wild stories about you two. My champion is disgusted with several of my other nobles - including some of them who used to count themselves among your friends - for their crass remarks about our new heroine. I've already warned them all against making the kinds of comments that lead to arguments and brawling. I'm sure you'll agree that I cannot have my lady knights preoccupied with defending their own honor all the time, especially when I need them out there fighting my real battles."

Joren struggled for a moment to comprehend this surprising turn of events. He'd never have guessed that the king actually liked the idea of him marrying Kel. He finally managed to ask, "Your Majesty, when would _you_ recommend that I ... that I ask for Lady Keladry's hand in marriage? I recently received a letter from her explaining that she's to continue commanding a refugee camp near Fort Mastiff. Am I allowed to travel there now?"

The king rubbed his beard as he thought for a moment. Then he said, "Even though the war with Scanra is less perilous, it might be difficult to relieve our 'Protector of the Small' from her duties just yet. I'll speak with Lord Wyldon, but it's highly likely that you two will need to have a longer betrothal period than you'd probably hoped for, Lord Joren."

Nodding, Joren admitted, "I rather thought as much, Sire. When Baron Piers of Mindelan gave me his blessing, he also informed me that his youngest daughter is free to make her own decisions regarding betrothal and marriage."

"That sounds like something Piers of Mindelan would do, the sly fox!" Jon replied. "Unfortunately for you, Lord Joren, even if she agrees to such a marriage, you may not relegate Lady _Knight_ Keladry to being merely the lady of your castle. This kingdom needs her sword arm just as much as it needs yours or any other man's. I still want her to become the leader she is destined to become. Have you given any thought as to how _you_ will manage such an unconventional relationship? I assure you, it won't be easy."

Joren sighed and shook his head. Truthfully, ever since he'd spoken with the Lioness' husband, what he'd mostly thought about was marrying Kel and having a wonderful wedding night. He just assumed they'd figure out everything else afterward. And although the young lord understood what the king was hinting at, he didn't really want to acknowledge that he, one of the highest-ranking nobles in the realm, would have to 'share' the woman he loved with all of the king's subjects.

"Your Majesty," Joren tried to keep the sound of defeat out of his voice, "I will need to make some special arrangements on my own before I even approach Lady Keladry with my proposal. I only hope Lady Keladry will agree to marry me."

"Wait a moment!" Jonathan exclaimed as he sat up taller on his throne, "Several people have informed me of your intent to marry Lady Keladry - and she to marry you - long before our discussion here today. When your former training master, Lord Wyldon, as well as Lord Raoul and Sir Paxton of Nond, hinted at your potential intentions a long time ago, I decided to keep my eye on you two. Amazingly, Duke Turomot also told me that he thought you two would make a good pair. Then there was the letter from the Baron of Mindelan, explaining that he has given his daughter the freedom to make her own decisions about her future marriage prospects - as you just said yourself. Baron George Cooper has informed me recently that even _he_ has talked with you about such matters. Rarely has a couple come before me with so many fine endorsements. And while all this is well and good, the real question for you, Lord Joren, is this: does Lady Keladry truly feel the same way about such a marriage as you do? Have you discussed _any_ of this with her yet?"

Joren lowered his eyes and stared at the throne room floor for a moment. As nice as it was for him to have so much support for his marrying Kel, it also was a bit unnerving. The young lord decided that once he and the now-famous lady knight were betrothed, they'd have to be much more careful with their private life than they'd been in the past. He certainly didn't want any wandering minstrels making up bawdy songs about his marriage. When Joren lifted his head, he spoke with confidence, even though he was sure that his cheeks shone a bright red above his beard.

"Your Majesty, I am certain that Lady Keladry knows how I feel about her. I've been asking her to be my lady for many years and we've become quite close. Unfortunately, I ... I _thoroughly_ ruined my first attempt at proposing marriage to her," he admitted. "I intend to propose in a much, much better way than before and I truly believe that she'll agree to marry me this time."

"_This_ time? She's turned you down once already?" Sounding surprised by this information, the king then ordered, "You'd better explain yourself right now!"

Although he felt terribly embarrassed, Joren complied. The young man briefly told his monarch about his earlier drunken attempt at proposing to then-Squire Keladry. He admitted that he'd been a complete idiot, but that she'd forgiven him anyway. Joren also admitted that he hadn't yet worked out all the details of his next proposal; however, he was rehearsing what he planned to say so that he'd get it right. When he explained that Kel's recent letters to him bolstered his confidence and gave him hope that she'd consent to becoming his wife - eventually - the king's expression grew very serious.

Jon's sapphire-blue eyes bore into Joren's sky-blue eyes and held them for a long time. His voice sounded oddly far away when he warned, "Make _no_ assumptions when it comes to your lady's desires, Lord Joren. Ask many questions and listen for the deeper meanings hidden within the words of her answers. You are quite fortunate to have another chance at this - do not squander it. Can you understand what I'm saying, young man?"

"Yes, Majesty," Joren replied, his own voice also sounding as though it came from far away. When the king nodded again, Joren felt as though he'd just been released from a sort of trance.

Jon continued speaking in a normal tone of voice, "Believe it or not, Tortall is poised to experience a rash of weddings this summer - beginning with my own son's royal extravaganza. I'll expect you to attend this event and take careful notes on what _not_ to do. I believe that simpler is better, but the women and the diplomats are in control of this marriage between my realm and the Yamani Empire. I'll just show up in my finest tunic and crown and do whatever they tell me to do. After all, there's no point in me trying to escape the puppeteer's strings, especially since she's my wife."

Joren tried to hide his smile at the thought of the king being the queen's 'puppet' during Crown Prince Roald's wedding. He gave up, though, when he saw the twinkling in Jon's eyes and the white teeth smiling brightly through his dark beard. Then both men released a few laughs.

"I tell you, Lord Joren," Jon spoke again, "Many battle-weary soldiers and a good number of knights will follow my son to the marriage altar soon after they arrive home. It happens after every war. Knowing how these things also generate many new citizens of the realm - all of them infants, of course - I'll expect _you _to behave like a perfect nobleman and protect your lady's virtue at all costs. You do _not_ want to anger the Goddess. That's something else I can assure you."

Joren felt as though the king had wished him luck, as well as forbidden him to fail, and now he wasn't so sure he should rush out to Fort Mastiff as he'd been thinking of doing. He'd wanted to surprise Kel, but he didn't want a disappointing surprise in return if she wasn't really ready to commit to becoming his wife. Joren decided he needed a new plan - a really good plan - and since his Uncle Lars had given him such bad advice about 'marking' Kel, he hoped that his Uncle Langdon might be the right man to help him this time.

Thanking King Jonathan with absolute sincerity, Joren left the throne room a very happy man. He barely remembered leaving the palace, and when he arrived at Marbleton House, he quickly dashed up all the stairs and began to pack. He couldn't wait to see his mother at Dunmoor and then travel north to Stone Mountain. While he was riding, it finally occurred to him that he should obtain Lady Virryn's ideas on what to do to ensure a successful proposal. Surely she'd remember _something_ from when she was a young maiden and his Uncle Langdon had first proposed to her. Joren laughed at himself for not thinking about that sooner.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

When his Uncle Lars came out to greet him upon his arrival at Dunmoor, Joren had an odd feeling that something was wrong. Surprisingly, his mother was nowhere in sight. After showing him to the guest rooms, Lars gently informed his nephew that Lady Virryn was waiting eagerly to see him - at Stone Mountain. At first the young lord was extremely disappointed and a little angry that his family had fooled him into thinking his mother was staying with her brother's family. If the Joren wasn't allowed to reside at his own castle, how could they think it was any safer for his mother to be there?

After Dunmoor's Midsummer festival, Joren and his Uncle Lars, as well as four men-at-arms, set out for the mountains, and arrived at the castle by the end of the week. The summer sky was a startling blue - the same blue as his eyes - and the air was filled with the sweet scent of the small pink flowers which covered the hillsides. Tall mountain peaks looked majestic as they appeared to be reaching for the puffy white clouds which occasionally blocked the bright sun. Joren was surprised by the tears that welled up in his eyes when he saw his home for the first time in over two years.

"Joren, my darling, it's so good to see you!" Lady Virryn greeted her son, but she didn't rise from her favorite chair in the solar. "I apologize for all the secrecy and there are so many things we must talk about, but I know you must have more stories to share than the ones you wrote in your letters. Please, come sit down and tell me every detail about your adventures."

Nothing could have prepared Joren for the shock he received when he saw how tired and bloated his mother looked. Despite the fact that she was smiling brightly and her face had a rosy glow to it, her eyes had pale purplish shadows underneath them. It was nice to see that she no longer wore the somber black and indigo gowns of mourning, but Joren silently noticed that the peach-colored gown on his mother's small frame made her look almost fat. He even made a mental note never to buy her anything in that color.

"Mother!" he exclaimed and ran over and kneeled down by the chair in which she was sitting. "What's happened? How long have you been ill like this? Why didn't you write to me and tell me about your health? I would've asked the king to allow me to come here sooner - you know he probably would have provided an armed escort!"

Virryn smiled warmly at her son and then glanced up at her brother before she began to speak hesitantly, "I didn't tell you sooner because I didn't want you to worry _or_ to return any sooner than you have done. Actually, everything is just fine. And no, I'm not ill. Well, not exactly. Something ... marvelous has happened, Joren, and I want ... no, I _need_ you to be happy for me and your uncle. For all of us, really. This will help you, too."

Joren's skin felt prickly, just as it had in the throne room. Bracing himself for the worst, he asked, "What do you mean, Mother? The king asked me about your health and although you say you haven't been ill, my eyes are telling me a different story. I can _see_ that you aren't well. What's this 'marvelous' thing that has happened? Wait a moment; why do you want me to be happy for you and Uncle Lars?"

"Not me, Joren," said Lars, who was standing beside him now, with his hand pressing down on his shoulder. "Your Uncle Langdon. After you set sail for Yaman, he and your mother were married secretly, back at Dunmoor. The monarchs approved their marriage, but it _had_ to take place before Langdon led his soldiers off to the border. Virryn came here with Langdon afterward, but decided not to return to the low country for reasons she will explain to you."

"Uncle Langdon? Married? Mother, what ...?" Joren was confused and he felt his temper rising, but when he tried to stand up, his uncle's firm grip held him in place.

"Be still and let us explain," Lars reiterated. "Keep in mind that I've known your uncle for over twenty-five years and he's my best friend. He's also always loved your mother from the moment they first met. There've been no other women for him in all that time. So ... when your mother became a widow, Langdon allowed the embers of his deep love for her to flare up again." He stopped and sighed. "And against my strongest advice, my sister also rekindled her feelings for your uncle."

"Twenty-five _years_?" Joren's mouth then fell open in surprise. That was longer than he'd been alive. He knew his mother had been sixteen years old when she gave birth to him. Shaking his head, he now realized that Lady Virryn would have been only thirteen or so when she and Langdon first met. She hadn't even been presented at court yet when his uncle fell in love with her!

Lars nodded and continued speaking, "As soon as Virryn's official two-year period of mourning for Burchard ended, she went to the Temple of the Goddess to make her cleansing sacrifice and to plead before the Daughters' court for another chance at happiness with Langdon. Queen Thayet happened to be worshipping at that temple on that day and she gave her royal blessing to the couple first. The king gave his consent and blessings soon thereafter. Obviously, the Great Mother is pleased with their union, because she's already restored my sister's womb."

The astonished young lord felt the blood drain from his face as he heard his mother say, "Joren, what we are telling you is that your Uncle Langdon and I are married and miraculously, the Goddess already has blessed us with a child! Just think of it - after all these years, you're finally going to have a little brother or sister. _Please_ be happy for me - and for your Uncle Langdon."

Joren couldn't speak. His thoughts were a whirlwind, all spinning around in his head. While he'd been out of the country, his mother had remarried and she was going to have another child - at her age! Additionally, she was not with just anyone - no - she'd married the brother of her deceased husband, his own _uncle._ Joren couldn't help but to stare at the now-obvious tell-tale roundness of Lady Virryn's belly. This child would be both his half-sibling, like Anniseth, _and_ his first cousin. No wonder the king had asked about his mother with such concern.

Virryn looked up at him with tears in her eyes and continued in a soft tone of voice, "Please don't be angry with us, son. Remember when I explained our ... our history to you? Langdon and I had been betrothed first, but your father interrupted what the Goddess had meant to be. It's difficult to imagine, but here I am - at almost thirty-seven years of age - giving Stone Mountain another heir." She moved her hand lovingly over the bulge in her gown as she lowered her voice. Sheepishly, she added, "We wanted to tell you sooner, but writing it all down in a letter just didn't seem right."

Lars released the pressure on Joren's shoulder so that the younger man could stand up. The young lord immediately began to pace back and forth across the room. He truly wanted to be happy for his mother - he knew how much she had longed for another child - but everything was so confusing to him now. Pacing always helped him to think and sort through the jumble of thoughts in his mind. As he moved around, running his fingers through his loose blond hair, many oddities began to make sense.

When Joren was small, Lord Burchard's younger brother rarely ever stayed at Stone Mountain's castle, so the boy thought that his Uncle Langdon didn't like him very much. Langdon always gave Joren the most wonderful gifts and he also taught him many interesting things about life at the army garrison; however, the only times his uncle ever spoke with his parents was during the holidays - and he didn't say much then. After Joren went to the palace to begin page training, he only saw his uncle twice in four years and then not at all once he became a squire.

Memories from the time after his father's collapse flooded Joren's mind. He'd caught his uncle staring longingly at his mother several times, but he passed it off as deep compassion and even sorrow for her situation. He'd overheard harsh whispering between his uncles, but he hadn't been able to work out what they'd been arguing about. Now it was apparent that Lars hadn't been pleased that Langdon never had fallen out of love with his mother and had decided to pursue her again after Burchard's death.

Joren suddenly realized that if he'd had a brother and Kel chose to be with that brother instead of him, he wouldn't be able to be around her or any children she might have with the other man, no matter how much he'd loved her once. And then he realized that it probably had been torture for Langdon to stand by helplessly and watch as Virryn endured all those years of heartache because of Burchard's skirt-chasing ways and his endless stream of mistresses. The young lord's anger at his father flared afresh and his mother flinched at the hard expression on his face.

"Mother, I'm not angry at _you_, or at Uncle Langdon, for that matter. You two deserve some happiness after all this time and it seems as though the Goddess agrees," Joren confessed as he continued to pace, "I ... I'm just angry at the situation. I realize that _I_ wouldn't exist if my father hadn't taken you for himself, but ... but ... _Mithros_! Our family is a gods-awful mess! Are we forever doomed to provide the court gossips with such juicy fare?"

Virryn rose from her chair and stopped Joren's pacing with the touch of her hand on his arm. He looked into her still-pretty face, so like his own, as she said, "I'm sorry, darling, I know you've been working hard to erase the bad memories your father's antics left behind. Rest assured, only a small group of trusted people know about your uncle and me. With the war and everything, I'm sure no one will care about what's happening at Stone Mountain. By the time this child is born, there will be plenty of other topics for the court gossips to chew upon."

"Don't worry, Joren. Everything will be fine, you'll see," Lars added. "Despite her appearance, your mother is healthy enough to stay here at Stone Mountain. This is where your new brother or sister should be born, anyway. Langdon already has hired two healers to care for your mother and the baby, and of course, Agnes will be with her as always."

"What about the war?" Joren asked. "If Uncle Langdon didn't want me to be this far north, why doesn't he seem to mind putting my mother in harm's way?"

"Pffft!" Lars scoffed. "There's little more danger to your home fief now than there ever was before, especially since the Scanrans have lost the ability to use their killing devices. It was only your father's compulsions which caused Langdon to feel that _you_ had to stay away from any possibility of fighting in the war. In fact, your uncle's latest letter said that he is looking forward to seeing you here again at Stone Mountain when he returns with all the soldiers who normally are stationed at the army garrison there."

"I'm surprised he doesn't hate me by now," Joren said and shook his head in amazement. "It's been more than three years and _I'm_ still not married. I don't have any heirs and I haven't stayed at Stone Mountain for most of that time. How has he been able to keep from going insane against the compulsions my father placed on him? What's he planning to do now that I've returned?"

"Ah!" Virryn clapped her hands together happily, "You'll be so happy to hear this: ever since our marriage and the existence of this new child, Burchard's deathbed compulsions no longer haunt Langdon! Your uncle thinks that something about all your efforts toward controlling the family holdings, both here and abroad, have counted toward making you the true Lord of Stone Mountain. He also truly believes that your continued pursuit of Lady Keladry - who's still a virgin after all - has had a dampening affect on the craziness he felt. In fact, Langdon's latest letter to me reaffirmed that his feelings are back to normal now."

Joren thought for a moment and then his eyes widened as he realized something else. Now that his mother and uncle were married and they were going to have a child who would become another heir for Stone Mountain, he and Kel truly were free to marry and not be concerned with trying to have a child of their own in the near future. Dreams that he'd had about keeping Kel all to himself for a long time, as well as ideas about traveling back to Maren and entering the tournaments there - with him at the fencing contests and Kel at the jousts - suddenly became very possible. Laughing, Joren scooped up his pregnant mother in his arms, held her tight and swung her around.

"Thank you, Mother!" exclaimed the happy young man. "This is the best homecoming surprise ever! Now, let me tell you about my audience with the king." Then they all sat down to discuss what Joren should do next regarding his plans for proposing marriage to his lady knight.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

One week later, the young Lord of Stone Mountain was pacing again. This time, the sound of his boots striking the gleaming marble floors of his home castle punctuated his foul mood. Although Joren was happy for his mother and his uncle's marital bliss, it was exceedingly strange and somewhat annoying for him to see them together. They always seemed to be touching each other as they gazed into each other's eyes with such warmth and kindness. Joren certainly never witnessed his parents showing such open affection and loving regard for one another and he began to wonder if the unreasonable jealousy he felt toward his unborn half-sibling was similar to what Anniseth had experienced toward him so long ago.

Sir Langdon and Lady Virryn's constant displays of affection made Joren impatient to see Kel again. Drinking the special Bazhir tea every day to keep his thoroughly amorous thoughts from overwhelming him, Joren wanted nothing more than to ride west and find the lady knight as soon as possible. Every day, either his mother or one of his uncles would tell him of a new idea about his upcoming marriage proposal and he couldn't bear to hear any more advice. Joren's head ached as he remembered the most recent round of comments.

"I say go ahead and marry Lady Keladry now!" Langdon had urged him. "Don't waste time like I did with your mother. You'll only give some other suitor a chance to win her heart away from you. Besides, if you truly love her and she returns your love, then there's no reason to wait until the end of some long and pointless betrothal period."

"The betrothal period is _not_ pointless," Virryn had countered. "Despite what happened between us and Burchard, the betrothal period gives everyone a chance to adjust to the idea of joining two families together. _Besides_, a bride - even a warrior maiden such as Lady Keladry - needs time to be fitted for her wedding gown and other marriage clothes. Her family will need time to prepare for the wedding feast, too."

"Actually, I was thinking of having the wedding here, at Stone Mountain," Joren had said only to be met with an awkward silence from both of his uncles, as well as his mother.

"Absolutely not!" Virryn finally had replied. "This place is ... is _haunted_ with bad luck! That's why I insisted that my wedding to Langdon take place at Dunmoor. Please, Joren, marry Lady Keladry _anywhere_ but here."

"Just remember, wherever you do decide to have the wedding," Lars had put in, "Make sure there's a private place to make your sacrifice to the Goddess. Even a nice tent will do."

"Fine, fine! Have a formal betrothal first." Langdon had conceded, "But you'd better make all those other arrangements as fast as you can so that you can wed and bed that young lady as soon as possible. Don't wait too long, or else you'll be sorry!"

Unfortunately, as he paced back and forth, Joren could think of three very good reasons for him to wait and not marry Kel immediately. The first reason was the king's insistence that the young lord bide his time until the lady knight truly was available and no longer in command of the refugee town. Second, there was the issue of arranging for the proper setting for the wedding night sacrifice to the Goddess. Joren had every intention of being comfortable with his bride for their first time together as husband and wife, regardless of the Goddess' requirements. Last but not least, he had no idea where Kel actually was at that moment. The Greenwoods River Valley was a very large area and the lady knight commander hadn't written to Joren to let him know the exact location of her fortified town.

"Joren, dear, what's wrong?" Lady Virryn interrupted his troubled thoughts as she joined him in the grand hallway. "I could hear your pacing while I worked on my embroidery in the solar."

Stopping in front of the portrait of a ten-year-old Burchard, Joren ran his hand over his beard and turned to face Lady Virryn. "I've been thinking, Mother. Once your new child arrives, what will you tell him or her about our family history? I mean, this is the child you and Uncle Langdon might've had so long ago if ... if my father hadn't seduced you away from him. You know that I'm happy about your remarriage, but I'm not so sure how I feel about everything else."

"Oh ... I ... I don't know," Virryn said vaguely, now lost in her own thoughts as she stood in front of the portrait of a ten-year-old Joren. "You were such a beautiful child; Burchard wasn't very pleased that you looked more like me than him."

It was a long-standing Stone Mountain family tradition that all children had their portraits painted prior to their departure for either the palace training or the convent school education. Joren had spent the better part of the morning walking up and down the portrait-lined hallway, wondering about the fate of each innocent-looking boy or girl. Of course, he'd grown up hearing stories of the great deeds their adult-selves went on to accomplish, but he still wondered what some of his ancestors would have said about the current situation in the castle.

Now, as he stepped closer and stood next to his mother, the young lord scowled at his own portrait. At the age of ten, Joren really had looked like a pretty, rosy-cheeked _girl,_ with long white-blonde hair, who was wearing boys' clothes. No wonder the older pages at the palace had harassed him so much. He'd always despised his effeminate appearance in the painting and he used to dream about destroying it so that no one else would see it ever again. Unfortunately for him, the portrait still hung on the wall, right next to the one of his father.

"I mean no offense, Mother," Joren drawled with a hint of bitterness in his voice, "But if the baby is a boy, I pray to all the gods that he'll look exactly like Langdon. Of course, if you have a daughter, I hope that she'll look just like you."

Virryn hugged Joren around his slim, but solidly-muscled waist and said, "I know you didn't have a very easy time when you were a new page. I recall being quite upset when those older boys butchered your hair. Lord Wyldon sent me a letter of apology, but I don't know that I ever really forgave him. He never should've allowed all the bullying to happen in the first place. You were so unhappy that first year."

"You ... you _knew_?" Joren sounded surprised.

"Of course I did!" Virryn replied almost indignantly. "I _begged_ your father to bring you home and wait until you were old enough to attend the university instead of forcing you into becoming a knight. He wouldn't even consider such a thing. He said you were our family's 'shining star' and he'd not waste your swordsmanship on books you'd never be able to read. Never mind the fact that he hired those incompetent tutors for you every summer. I'm so glad Lady Keladry helped you--" She sniffed back a tear.

"It's alright, Mother. A knight is all I ever wanted to be, anyway," Joren said as he returned her hug. "See? Everything has turned out fine. I'm quite glad to be a 'Sir' as well as a 'Lord.' In fact, I'd love to serve the realm as an actual knight, like most of my year-mates, instead of just being a titled noble-knight. Do you think Uncle Langdon would mind running the fief if I ... travel for a while longer? You know, especially since there will be another heir for Stone Mountain?"

"No ... but what if I have a daughter?" Virryn asked. "And what about Lady Keladry - won't you still need to have a male heir of your own with her?"

Joren chuckled and replied, "Didn't you know that King Jonathan helped the council decide that a female may now inherit the throne? I figure that whatever's good for the kingdom is good enough for me. Girl or boy, it won't matter. And as far as Kel is concerned, I _know_ that the king would appreciate it if I didn't impregnate the realm's 'Protector of the Small' immediately on our wedding night. He told me so himself."

Virryn gazed at her son with a look of pride and wonder and asked, "Are you sure? Would you really agree to allow a girl to be Stone Mountain's heir?"

"Don't you think that's what my father would have done if the only child he'd ever had was Anniseth?" Joren retorted. "_I_ certainly do, and I've seen the proof of his intentions. It was in one of the letters that he'd sent to Lady Cordelia. When I delivered all of those inheritance items to Maren, my sister showed me several of pieces of the correspondence between her mother and our father. I think that 'female inheritance' is the only progressive change to the law he ever considered making."

"Oh, my!" Now Virryn sounded surprised. Joren thought she was responding his comment, but he quickly became concerned when he saw that she was holding her hand to her side and wincing.

"Mother! What's wrong?" he exclaimed. "Should I call for one of the healers?"

She shook her head and smiled up at him, "No, no, son. I just felt the baby move inside of me. Your brother or sister is developing quite a strong kick."

Joren sighed in relief. Then he shook his head. He knew it really was time for him to venture out and find other places to be and other things to do. Being around his pregnant mother only made him wonder what it would be like if Kel was pregnant, and he knew he wasn't even the slightest bit ready for such a change in his life. Additionally, the young man was fairly positive that his lady knight already had her hands full caring for the indentured servant boy she'd acquired during the time he'd been traveling abroad. No, neither of them was quite ready to be a parent - yet.

The next day, Joren received the letter that helped him decide his future.

*************

_To Lord Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_New Hope, Northern Tortall_

_August 2, 461 H.E._

_Dear Joren,_

_I love you and I miss you very, very much. _

_Everything seems to be settling down here now and we haven't been bothered by any Scanran attacks for over a month. All of the people from Haven, including my officers and me, moved out of Fort Mastiff and into New Hope as soon as we possibly could manage the task. It might not look like much right now, but I predict that this place will become one of the nicest little towns along the Greenwoods River within a year or two. _

_Neal and Merric send their greetings, also, and they keep asking when you'll come out west to see me. You'll probably see Merric at the prince's royal wedding this month. Lord Wyldon said that only one official representative from New Hope could join his entourage down to Corus, so we drew straws and Merric won. Of course, Neal wasn't happy, but at least we knew that he hadn't cheated with magic to get his own way._

_Tobe is looking forward to meeting you, too. I've told him a few important things about you, but I think Neal has told the boy more than I would have him know just yet. Lately, Tobe has been acting the tiniest bit jealous of you, asking odd questions about your appearance and your wealth. Perhaps that will change once he actually meets you and realizes that you're not as arrogant and aloof as Neal must have said you were._

_Again, please give my regards to Lady Virryn and the rest of your family. Has your mother returned to Persopolis yet? Lately, I've been thinking about all of the wonderful vegetables from her garden there. They'd be such a lovely change from the beans, peas and potatoes the refugees have been growing here. I'm not complaining, mind you; I'm just dreaming of different foods._

_If you ask nicely, Lord Wyldon might allow you to tag along with his group after the royal wedding and then accompany Merric back to New Hope when they all return north. There's no inn here yet, but there are plenty of guest rooms in my new headquarters building. I'd love for you to visit me here. May the gods all bless you and keep you safe until we meet again._

_Love, _

_Kel _

*************

Joren didn't waste any time. Knowing that the king expected to see him in Corus during the week-long wedding festivities for the marriage of Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami, the young lord packed several formal outfits for the balls and other social events, which he planned to leave behind at Marbleton House. He also packed his knight's gear and sturdier traveling clothes for his further travels to New Hope.

On a warm and sunny, late summer day, the young Lord of Stone Mountain and his Uncle Lars, along with the Dunmoor guards, departed the mountains and began their journey to the lowlands. The scenery and the views were breathtaking as they made their way down the wide, well-built trails. Joren didn't know exactly when he'd return to his highland home, but he hoped he'd be back in time to welcome his baby brother or sister into the world.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The king had been correct; the royal wedding was a spectacle and Joren felt sorry for his former year-mate. Prince Roald never had been very outgoing and there were several times during the week-long celebration that Joren thought he saw a look of pure agony on the Crown Prince's face. He knew that if he was Roald of Conté, he would've taken his bride and run away from all the fuss at the first opportunity. As it was, time seemed to drag along slowly for the young lord because he wanted to head north as soon as all the festivities ended.

It was no surprise to Lord Wyldon that Joren requested to travel north with his contingent of knights and soldiers from Fort Mastiff and the surrounding area. Obviously, there was more safety in a large group and Lord Wyldon was glad to have another knight. He also was in a surprisingly good mood after a week of attending social events with his wife, who'd been staying in Corus with their second-oldest daughter and her new baby.

Lord Wyldon seemed to enjoy foisting his squire, the inquisitive Owen of Jesslaw, upon the Lord of Stone Mountain for the majority of their journey. The squire somehow knew that Joren had been traveling to different lands, so he asked him what felt like hundreds of questions every day. By the time they reached the town of Queensgrace, the beleaguered lord wanted to rip out Owen's tongue so that he couldn't ask about anything else.

When the people at the inn where Lord Wyldon decided they'd stop for the night discovered that a few of the men in their group had participated in the rescue mission to Scanra with the Protector of the Small, they clamored for their first-hand accounts. Joren listened as intently as everyone else while Owen and Merric and one of the soldiers from the King's Own told their fantastic tale. The only person who didn't seem enthralled with the story was the surly innkeeper, Alvik, who grumbled that the lady knight was far too arrogant and that someone - preferably a strong, no-nonsense type of man - should put her in her place.

When Merric explained that it was the lady knight's servant boy, Tobe, who rode through the woods all night to alert her to the destruction of the refugee camp, a surprised murmur traveled through the tavern. Joren watched as the innkeeper pushed through the folks who'd gathered around to listen and tried to argue that there was no way that the lazy boy who'd been his good-for-nothing servant could be a hero in this story. It took several other men to restrain all three of the storytellers from attacking Alvik, because they remembered what poor shape Tobe had been in when Kel first took him into her care. Not that he'd had any doubts, but now Joren knew that he'd have to win Tobe's trust in order to regain his rightful place next to Kel.

The group of knights and soldiers continued on their way the next day and Owen began a new round of questions. The squire seemed to know about the official status of Kel and Joren's courtship - as did every other member of the group - and he caught the young lord off-guard when he asked Joren if he was going to New Hope in order to propose to _their_ lady knight. Merric was staring intently at him, also waiting to hear the answer to that question. Joren saw that others, including Lord Wyldon, looked far too nonchalant to not be eavesdropping, so he decided to address the issue directly.

"Yes, Squire Owen," Joren said confidently, "That's _exactly_ what I'm doing - but it's a big surprise. Can you keep a secret?"

Joren realized his mistake when the men riding closest to them snickered and Merric, trying to hold in a guffaw, ended up having a brief coughing fit. Even Lord Wyldon couldn't hide his smile. Obviously, Joren would have to find Kel before Owen did. Fortunately, most of the men unpacked their bags and stayed when they all arrived at Fort Mastiff. Only Joren, Merric and two other soldiers continued on toward New Hope the next morning. The young lord breathed a sigh of relief when blabber-mouthed Squire Owen stayed at the fort with his knight-master.

"So, Lord Joren, you're _finally_ going to make an honest woman out of our Kel," Merric said when they were out of hearing range of the soldiers.

Scowling at the redheaded knight, Joren asked, "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Oh, don't try to pretend with me," Merric now spoke through clenched teeth. "My kinsman, Faleron of King's Reach, was staying in a palace guest room four doors down from Kel's personal rooms and he _saw_ you leaving there a day or so after she passed her Ordeal. It was sometime after the second or third bell after midnight, because he'd been returning from a celebration at my family's town house that night."

Now the young lord knew who had been the main source of the recent rumors about him and Kel sleeping together. Faleron probably passed on what he thought he knew not only to Merric, but also to someone within his own fief. King's Reach was where Princess Kalasin had been living and finishing her education for the past few years. No doubt the oldest princess had informed her royal papa about the 'tryst' between Lady Keladry and Lord Joren, and the rumors grew bigger and worse all the time. Well, he decided, if he was going to reverse any of the damage to Kel's reputation, he might as well begin with Sir Merric of Hollyrose.

"It's not what you or Faleron or anyone else thinks," Joren stated. "Nothing happened. At least, nothing happened that you think _might _have happened that night or any other night. Lady Keladry is still very much a maiden. You should ask her for yourself."

Merric's face turned beet-red and he fumed, "I ... I'd ... I'd _never_ ask a lady such a thing!"

"Well, I am telling you that due to certain restrictions my father placed upon me, I only may marry a maiden," Joren drawled. "Do you honestly believe that I, one of the most powerful nobles in the realm, would waste my time courting a female who's not a virgin?"

"I've seen you at 'Lady Loelle's' establishment before, Lord Joren, so I know you've slept with plenty of women," Merric began, "Besides, everyone knows that if a man sleeps with a virgin and then decides to marry her, he could argue that it should count as marrying a maiden, as long as he can verify that he was only one who ever had her."

Joren shook his head in mock disgust, "Mithros! Please tell me you don't really believe that claptrap you just spewed. You sound like a bench-side lawyer, Sir Merric. I haven't been to 'Lady Loelle's' place in over five years. _My_ future bride must be a virgin _on the day_ we wed. I hope to make Kel my future bride; therefore, she _must_ be a virgin."

"But ... but ... Faleron _knows_ it was you! He really saw you that night!" Merric exclaimed and then lowered his voice when the two soldiers turned to look at him. "Do you dare deny that you were in Kel's rooms at an indecent hour of the night?"

"Your kinsman is correct about one thing," Joren conceded with a dramatic sigh, "That _was_ me. I _did_ leave Lady Keladry's rooms at that hour; however, as I said before, nothing much happened. I have every reason to believe that she's the same today as she was back then - a virgin, through and through. Now, if you're neither brave enough nor crass enough to ask her about it, then I ask that you respectfully refrain from speaking about the status of the woman I love and hope to marry. It's truly none of your business, anyway." Then he urged his horse's gait into a trot to pull ahead of Merric so that the surprised younger man couldn't see the almost-hidden grin on his face.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Tobe had walked into the New Hope stables to help the new arrivals settle their mounts. He enjoyed hearing what the horses 'said' about their journeys as he groomed them. Sir Merric greeted him warmly and asked where the commander was. Joren didn't see him at first because he was offloading his saddlebags and other gear on the opposite side of his beautiful bay mare.

"Hey, Tobe!" yelled a child's voice at the door of the stables, "Are ye comin' or what? All the hot rolls're gonna be gone if'n ye spend all night wi' the horses! Come on!"

Joren's ears had pricked up when he heard the name of Kel's servant boy. Not wanting to miss his chance to meet the lad before he found Kel, the young lord stepped out from behind his mare and said, "Excuse me, but are you Tobeis Boon? The lad who speaks as easily with the horses as he does with the humans?"

The boy stopped in his tracks and turned to face the man whose horse had proclaimed him "a good sort of two-legger, if a bit hard-headed and heavy-footed." Loey would have to wait. Not very many people came into the stables and spoke of Tobe by his name and his talent. This man somehow knew about him and he was curious to find out why.

Joren opened his mouth to ask a different question, but then he couldn't say another word. If he hadn't spent so much time in the portrait hall at his home fief, the young lord might not have been so surprised. However, when the boy turned to face him, they both just stared at each other. Tobe was surprised to see such a fair-haired Tortallan knight - the man definitely possessed the 'mark of Scanra' and it was hard to believe that the king allowed him into the army. Joren was surprised to see a slightly smaller version of the ten-year-old boy in the portrait of his father, Burchard of Stone Mountain.

* * *

**A/N: Soap, soap, soapy soap! ^_^ I **_**know**_** you saw that coming!! I enjoyed writing this long chapter while I was traveling to and from my recent family reunion, but it took me a while to type it. I hope you enjoyed reading it, too! Please send me a review and tell me what you think. Thanks! :D**


	65. The Mark of Scanra

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Congratulations to 'Aretina' for writing the 1,100th review! :D Hooray!! Extra-yummy cyber-cookies to you, my friend! ^_^ This started out as a filler chapter and it originally was part of the previous chapter. After much thought, a family reunion and a camping trip to the beach, I decided that Tobe deserved his own spotlight, as well as a bit of 'historical' back-story here in my Alternate Universe. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_"He's got no family. Where can he go?" demanded the innkeeper. "But he can't just leave work. Boys need discipline. Elsewise he'll go as bad as the feckless Scanran slut that whelped him an' left him on the midwife's steps...."_

_"What's your name?" she asked. "And how old are you?"_

_...After a moment he said, "Tobe, miss. Tobeis Boon. I think I'm nine."_

_Kel repeated, "Boon?"_

_The boy nodded. "Auld Eulama said I musta been a boon to someun, though she din't know who."_

_"Eulama?" asked Kel._

_"Midwife as reared me, best she knowed."_

_...Kel guessed what was on his mind. "I'll never beat you, Tobe," she said quietly. "I may dunk you in the tub and scrub you myself if I come back to find you only washed here and there, but you won't bleed, you won't bruise, and you won't hobble out of this room. Understand?"_

_He looked up into her face. "Why do this, lady?" he asked, curious. "I'm on'y a nameless whelp, with the mark of Scanra on me. What am I to the likes of you?"_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Lady Knight_

* * *

**The Mark of Scanra**

In the early days of the kingdom of Tortall, long before mages found a way to banish the Immortals to the Divine Realms, the ruling monarchs realized that they needed to control as many of the gold, silver and copper mines as possible. If there was to be an official currency, the crown must possess the sources of the raw ore. Several of these mines existed in the highly disputed mountain ranges of what eventually became the borders between Tortall, Galla and Scanra. Some of the warlords who fought for dominance in those mountains saw that the rulers of Tortall were far more organized - and merciful - than the northern and eastern tribal chiefs, so they swore their allegiance to the fledgling nation of forests and farmland.

One of those mountain warlords was Svaarok Silvertooth, named for his prominent, silver-capped front tooth, who ruled his area with an iron fist. In exchange for a permanent, high-ranking place on the Tortallan king's council, as well as for the power and position to command several lesser warlords in the mountainous region, Silvertooth agreed to relinquish ownership of his rich silver mines. He did, however, retain possession of his many mountain quarries which promised to yield vast quantities of gemstones, as well as marble and granite, suitable for building great structures such as castles and palaces.

Silvertooth was born north of the Vassa River and three of his four wives came from other northern nomadic tribes as part of peace agreements. Even though the gruff warlord eventually allowed his daughters to marry dark-haired men from Tortall, he sent his sons north to find their fair-haired future wives. Additionally, due to those long-standing ties with several tribes across the new border, there were always servants of Scanran descent in the kitchens and stables of Silvertooth's home. By the time the Tortallan nobility created the Book of Gold, Svaarok Silvertooth's grandson, Stynar, had become the first titled Lord of Stone Mountain. Stynar was Joren's many-times great-grandfather.

After several generations, the lords of Stone Mountain stopped sending their sons north for suitable matches, but they continued to indulge their preferences by searching for Scanran-looking brides among the general Tortallan nobility. Therefore, the portrait hall of the grand family castle was filled with paintings of men, women and children possessing blue eyes and pale skin and hair. Even after conflicts arose between Tortall and its northern neighbor, Silvertooth's descendants didn't seem to mind the so-called 'mark of Scanra' upon the House of Stone Mountain.

* * *

Sir Merric of Hollyrose finished grooming his horse and walked over to the water barrel to refill his canteen. It had been a long, but good journey down to Corus and back. While at the Crown Prince's wedding, Merric had taken the opportunity to introduce his parents to Lady Cecily of Tasride, his year-mate Seaver's younger sister, with whom he'd danced and strolled through the palace gardens on a few previous occasions. Before he returned to his northern post, the redheaded knight was able to convince his father to begin negotiations with Cecily's father for an official betrothal contract. Merric was whistling a happy tune as he replaced the water dipper, but the sounds died on his lips when he saw Lord Joren of Stone Mountain staring silently at Tobe, Kel's servant boy.

Merric blinked. Anyone could look at the man and the boy and see the obvious similarities between them. It wasn't just the blond hair and blue eyes, either; there was a certain shape to their foreheads and a stubbornness in their jaw lines that linked them together. Of course, Merric certainly never had paid any attention to the nasty rumors of Tobe being Kel and Joren's 'love child,' but there was no mistaking that somehow, Tobe and Joren had to be related. Merric called out to Tobe's friends and told them that they'd have to go on to supper without him because the boy had an important new errand to attend to.

"Lord Joren, I see you've met Tobeis Boon," Merric said as he turned and walked up to the silent pair. "Why don't we see about getting you settled into the visitor's quarters, my lord, and then we'll find Lady Keladry? You said she was in the cookhouse, right Tobe?"

Tobe blinked as though he'd been released from some sort of trance and answered, "Yes, sir, Sir Merric. There was a bit of a ... a row between th' workers in th' kitchens, so she went with Mistress Fanche t' see to it. She's prob'ly done with 'em an' eatin' her supper by now. D'you want me t' run an' tell her you're here?"

Merric glanced from Tobe to Joren, who shook his head very slightly. The redheaded knight knew that the young lord needed a bath and some time to gather his thoughts before he faced the lady knight. Everyone on their journey from Corus - even Lord Wyldon - had discovered that the lord of Stone Mountain was on a not-so-secret mission to propose betrothal and marriage to their Protector of the Small. Merric figured it would be best if he or Neal could distract Kel for a while longer until Joren was ready to speak with her.

"Ah ... no, Tobe," Merric answered slowly, trying to think of a way to keep the boy from being the one to tell Kel about Joren's arrival. "Actually, _I'll_ go find the commander. You know how to help a knight remove and care for his armor, so I'll depend on you to get Lord Joren settled into the visitor's quarters as soon as possible. Don't worry - you'll get your supper as soon as I can arrange for the kitchen to send trays of food up to you, alright?"

Merric didn't wait for an answer; he just patted Tobe on the shoulder and started to walk past him out of the stable. His mind was whirring as he tried to think up ways to stall Kel. He knew he'd have to find Neal first and enlist his help, too. When Joren reached out and grasped his wrist, the knight almost lost his balance and fell over in his tracks.

"Merric, the visitor's quarters are in the headquarters building, right?" Joren asked and then released his hold.

"Uh, yes, my lord," Merric answered, sounding confused. "In fact, they're right next to the commander's rooms."

"Then may I ask a favor of you?" Joren stared directly into his eyes, "I know my ... um, limitations. Would it be possible for me to stay in your barracks instead of the headquarters building? Any space is fine, really."

It took Merric a moment to see the meaning behind Joren's request. His eyes widened when he finally realized that the young lord was asking for a way not to be housed so close to the lady knight commander. On their journey, Joren had insisted that Kel was still as much a maiden as she was when she was a new page. If the Lord of Stone Mountain stayed in the visitor's quarters, nasty rumors were sure to flare up again, even if nothing ever happened. Suddenly, Merric appreciated Joren's cautious attitude. Maybe, he thought, the man wasn't so bad after all.

"Eventually, I'm supposed to have some junior officers assigned to me, but Lord Wyldon hasn't sent me anyone yet," Merric said thoughtfully, "I'm certain that one of _those_ empty rooms would suit you just fine, sir. Come on, Tobe. Let's take Lord Joren and his things to the rooms that will belong to my captain-of-the-guard someday."

Then the three of them walked the short distance to the barracks, which was the building closest to the stables. They could see a large crowd of people entering the dining hall across the camp from their location. Merric pointed out the single-story infirmary, where Neal stayed, as well as the headquarters building - a large, two-story, wooden structure nearest to the front gate.

Merric nodded toward the building by the gate and said, "After the war is over, the headquarters building will become the town hall for New Hope. Right now, there are offices and meeting rooms on the ground floor and private quarters on top. That's where Kel stays - and Tobe, too."

"Is that so?" Joren asked, turning to look back at the blond boy who was determined to carry two of his heavy packs. He blinked in amazement as he saw that the boy's facial expression looked exactly like his own deceased father's face when he was hard at a task.

Tobe nodded, "Yes, Lord Joren. My room's just off my lady's rooms. I used t' sleep on a pallet in her room and I used t' have to wake her up when th' nightmares about Blayce an' Stenmun got real bad. But she made me move into my own room when we came here. I still hear her sleep-talk, though. I'm just glad she's dreamin' about _you_ these days and not those killing machines anymore."

Merric's attempt to hold back a laugh ended up as more of a snort. The young lord knew his cheeks had turned red, but there was nothing he could do about it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he followed the redheaded knight into the single-story barracks. Joren supposed he'd have to get used to such comments from Tobe, especially if the boy was going to be around him and Kel a lot. He also knew that other people were likely to say all manner of things once they discovered that he had proposed to their beloved Protector of the Small.

Although Joren felt terrible that Kel had been having nightmares about her awful mission to stop the evil mage, he knew quite well that if Kel was dreaming of their times together and talking in her sleep, then Tobe must have heard enough over the past months to figure out many things about their relationship. Before the boy could continue to speak of such things, Joren was relieved that Merric pushed open the door to a set of barracks rooms and ushered them inside. The rooms smelled strongly of freshly-hewn wood, but a thick layer of dust lay on every surface.

"Like I said," Merric said dryly, "I was _supposed_ to get some other officers, but that hasn't happened yet. These quarters are a lot like our squire rooms back at the palace, so I hope you'll be comfortable enough. You're sure you don't want to stay in the visitor's quarters, my lord?"

Joren looked around as Tobe opened the shutters to let in the fresh summer air. He glanced out of the open window and saw that he had a nice view of the headquarters building. Smiling, he said, "Thank you, Sir Merric, but I'm quite sure that it's best for me to stay over here."

Merric nodded his approval. "Then I'll get someone to freshen up these rooms for you right away, my lord." And he walked out of the door and down the narrow hallway, yelling out a servant's name.

Now that they were alone, Joren and Tobe stared at each other again, each lost in his own thoughts. The young lord was still dazed by the fact that the boy so closely resembled his father. He knew that it was very important for him to unravel the mystery that Tobe represented, but he wondered where to start probing. The boy was sure to be touchy about discussing the parents who had abandoned him to a life of poverty and servitude. Finally, Joren spoke.

"I can't help noticing that you bear a close resemblance to someone I ... I once knew," Joren said. "Lady Keladry has told me quite a bit about you in her letters, but she's never said anything about your parents. Do you know much about them?"

"No, sir," Tobe replied, looking down at the floor. "My ma left me at th' midwife's place when I was born. Nobody in Queensgrace - the town where my lady bought my contract - ever had anythin' good t' say about her. Nobody ever said nothin' good about my da neither, 'cept ... 'cept I know he wasn't one of the townsmen."

"Really? How do you know that?" Joren asked, now more curious than ever, "Did anyone ever mention his name or say who they thought he was?"

Tobe shook his head and replied, "Auld Eulama - the midwife what raised me 'til I was maybe six - she told me that the womenfolk in town wouldn't have let my ma stay around if they knew any of _their_ men had sired me. Since my ma was ... was Scanran, Eulama always thought she fibbed about everything. She thought my da was a ... a raider, anyway. I got the mark of Scanra writ all over me." His voice trailed off and he lowered his head again.

Joren saw a look of shame pass over the boy's face and replied, "You know, Tobe, that's quite a talent you've got with horses - Lady Keladry has told me so. You'll do quite well - I'm sure of it. Who or what your parents were or what they did isn't as important as what _you_ decide to make of yourself. But we don't have to speak of such things right now, if you don't want to."

"I don't mind, sir" the boy shrugged again and then straightened his posture. "My lady likes you plenty an' your mare says you're a good sort, so I figure you're alright t' talk to. Lady Kel's always tellin' me never t' be ashamed of who I am. I'm not some mumper beggin' in th' streets like my ma. I work for th' Protector of the Small now - even though she hates that name. My lady said I could work in the palace stables someday, well, prob'ly. Besides, my lord, you look like you got th' mark of Scanra on you, too - an' _you're_ a full knight an' all."

A knock on the door kept Joren from making his next comment and he waited as two servants began to bring in hot water to fill the tub behind a screen. Tobe began to help Joren remove his armor and they worked in silence as the boy placed the pieces on a stand in one corner of the outer room. Merric came back in with two more servants who were carrying buckets, mops and washrags, as well as fresh linens and blankets to make the rooms a bit more inhabitable.

When Merric saw that the servants were working hard at their new tasks, he informed Joren and Tobe that he was going over to the dining hall to find the commander and send over some supper. Both the boy and the young lord nodded their acknowledgement and Merric was somewhat unnerved by the similarity of their motions. As soon as the bath was ready, Joren went behind the screen, shed the rest of his clothes and slipped into the hot, soapy water. He wanted to soak for a long time, but the noises of the servants working and Tobe's voice from beyond the screen interrupted his thoughts.

"Mistress Carter, th' head housekeeper, is gonna be real embarrassed about you stayin' over here in th' barracks, my lord," said the boy, his voice full of amusement after the last of the servants closed the door behind him, "She's made sure th' visitor's quarters was scrubbed down from top to bottom this whole time. I know my lady told her we might have a visitor this week, but one of th' maids told me that Mistress Carter didn't believe Lady Kel because my lady has said we _might_ have a visitor practically every week since we moved here an' no one's showed up 'til today."

Joren stopped washing for a moment and asked, "So ... do you think Lady Keladry has been expecting _me _all this time?"

"Yes, my lord, I do," Tobe replied. "Remember, I've heard what she says in her sleep." His voice sounded positively gleeful.

Joren was very glad that Tobe couldn't see his red face behind the screen. He felt totally exposed by the boy's knowledge of his personal life with Kel. Before the boy could say anything else about Kel's sleep-talking, Joren decided to change the subject back to their earlier topic.

"Do you at least know your mother's name?" he asked.

Tobe was surprised at the abrupt change, but he answered anyway, "That's th' only good thing Auld Eulama ever said 'bout my ma. She told me her name was Olga, which means 'holy' in th' Scanran tongue. Eulama always had a good laugh over that."

"Olga," Joren repeated absentmindedly and his thoughts began to spin rapidly.

"Eulama told me that my ma showed up in Queensgrace an' tried t' find work at th' ... at th' place where menfolk go," Tobe continued in a subdued tone of voice. "But they threw her out when they saw her belly was already round with me. She warned all the townsfolk they'd be sorry, because a hedgewitch predicted that I was gonna be th' girl-child of someone real important. She wouldn't tell his name, so nobody believed her, an' she ended up workin' odd jobs an' beggin' in the streets 'til I came."

Joren finished rinsing off and stepped out of the tub to dry his now-clean body. Then he asked, "What happened when you came out a boy-child, instead?"

"Pardon me for a moment, my lord," Tobe said as he answered the knock on the door first and accepted the two trays laden with food. Then he replied, "Eulama said my ma was wild with happiness when she saw I was a boy, but then ... but then she died before anyone could find out who my da really was. Th' midwife named me Tobeis Boon, because she said I was s'posed t' be a boon to somebody, she just didn't know who."

Joren was silent. He wasn't sure what to ask next. If he understood Tobe correctly, the boy was saying that his mother had thought she was having a girl, but she became overjoyed when she'd given birth to a boy instead. His mind kept spinning, wondering how the wench might have ended up begging in the streets. The midwife thought the poor woman might have been a 'flower seller' at one time, but every prostitute Joren ever knew of was heavily spelled against childbearing. And Tobe said her name was Olga.

* * *

The first time Joren mistakenly walked in on his father while Lord Burchard was canoodling with a household maid, the then-five-year-old boy didn't understand what he was seeing. It wasn't until his Uncle Langdon gave him his first pony and he began to spend more time around the stables and yards that the boy began to recognize mating behavior when he witnessed it again. As he grew older, he began to notice that the female servants he'd seen with his father tended to be employed at Stone Mountain only for short durations.

Although Lord Burchard introduced his only son to the world of high-class brothels at a fairly young age, Joren didn't understand how much his father's behavior hurt his mother until he was quite a bit older. The self-centered father often told his heir that it was the lord of the castle's right to sample whatever female he desired, as long as he did so responsibly - without true affection and without creating a passel of illegitimate children. Joren really didn't notice most of the household servants, until his favorite nursemaid - a pretty woman who'd cared for him since he was a toddler - was dismissed. After the boy complained to his mother, Spencer became his permanent manservant.

Joren remembered an extremely unpleasant incident which had occurred during the summer break after Kel had helped him learn to read and write well enough to receive passing marks on all his academic courses. Their cook's niece, who'd been working as a scullery maid and sending her wages back to her nearly-destitute family across the Scanran border, made the mistake of catching Lord Burchard's roving eyes and hands. She was another pretty blonde and several members of the household staff remarked that she greatly resembled the deceased Lady Cordelia. Eventually, Lady Virryn confronted her husband about the dalliance and - like all the others - the girl soon disappeared from Stone Mountain. Her name was Olga, too.

The only reason Joren could recall the incident and the girl's name was that it was the same as Cook's real name, Olga, although the older woman insisted that everyone just call her 'Cook.' The long-time servant became very upset when her niece was dismissed from serving at the castle. Joren had overheard the distraught woman crying to his mother behind closed doors. Apparently, Cook had discovered that Olga was pregnant, but the young woman wouldn't name the father of her child, no matter how much Cook threatened to question every soldier in the nearby garrison. The bewildered girl finally packed her few belongings and fled into the night.

The younger Olga had claimed that whoever the father was, he'd force her to get rid of the baby because a local hedgewitch told her the babe inside of her womb definitely was a girl. Cook became worried when she heard that her niece hadn't returned to her family across the border in Scanra. No one ever saw or heard from the girl ever again. Lady Virryn took pity on Cook and questioned Lord Burchard directly.

Joren had been daydreaming in his rooms that day. Although he was accustomed to hearing the sounds of his parents' arguments in the next room, he usually blocked them out. This time he'd listened. Cook was one of the few household servants he truly cared about and he felt very sorry for the woman and her missing niece. So when Virryn lost her composure and began to yell at Burchard, Joren clearly heard every word through the walls of his room.

"You've become careless in your senseless rutting and everyone knows it!" Virryn had accused, "I'll bet you sent the poor girl away because _you're_ the baby's father. Everyone knows you don't want any more daughters - legitimate or otherwise! How could you _do_ such a thing, Burchard?"

"What do you care?" the haughty lord had scoffed. "_You're_ my wife, for all the good it does me. If I could be certain of another male child, it shouldn't matter to you who the mother is, you'll still get credit for him and we'll raise him as our own. I should think that you'd to be glad that _someone_ can provide me with another male heir, especially since you can't. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened - yet."

"_Yet?_ So you'll keep on trying and trying until one of your dalliances ends in the creation of a boy baby?" she shrieked. "Mithros save us! Burchard, you mustn't go any further! If you did anything to hurt Cook's niece, you'll bring disaster down upon us all!"

"Oh, hush, woman!" Burchard sounded stern. "You're making too much out of nothing! I gave the girl a tidy sum of money to get rid of the babe and she _agreed_ to do so. It's a pity she hasn't returned to her family in Scanra, but I swear I've nothing to do with that. Truthfully, I'd stay in Tortall, too, rather than return to that godsforsaken wasteland up north. Thank the gods my ancestors left all that behind when they decided to stop roaming around and established their home on this side of the Vassa River."

"That's it, Burchard!" Virryn said coldly. "No more female servants. I am _tired_ of hiring new girls every year because you can't keep your hands off of them. As it is now, none of the villagers want their daughters to work here inside the castle. That's why I've had to bring in servants from far away. If I discover that you've dallied with any other maids, I'll hire _men_ to replace them. We're lucky that Cook considers this her only home or else we'd be eating cracked corn with the chickens. From now on, you'll do what you feel the need to do _away_ from our home. I don't want to see it or hear of it anymore!"

"Fine! Have it your way!" Burchard slammed the door on his way out and stomped down the hallway and staircase, not stopping until he reached the outer courtyard. Soon enough, quick hoof beats signaled Burchard's departure from the stables and into the surrounding forest. Then there was silence in the castle, except for the muffled sounds of Lady Virryn's sobs and the soothing murmurings of her personal maid, Agnes.

Joren couldn't remember exactly what happened afterwards, except that neither of his parents ate their meals with him for the next few days. By the time his father escorted him back to the palace for his final page year, the atmosphere within the castle seemed to have calmed down a bit. All thoughts of his parents' arguments and the causes of those arguments had flown out of Joren's mind when he returned to Corus and discovered that Lord Wyldon had allowed 'the Lump' to return for another year of page training.

* * *

"You know, Tobe, it might appear as though I've got the 'mark of Scanra' on me, as you've pointed out," Joren began to explain, "And when I traveled through Galla and Maren, some of those folks actually mistook me for a Scanran. I'll admit that the first fief lords of Stone Mountain had very close ties with Scanra, but both of my parents are from Tortallan families who've been faithful to the realm for many centuries. I hope you'll visit Stone Mountain someday and see the portraits of ... of my ancestors."

Now dressed in a comfortable white linen shirt and sturdy brown breeches, Joren walked out from behind the screen and glanced at Tobe again while he tugged on his boots. Sighing inwardly, the young lord decided he'd better speak with Kel first and tell her of his suspicions about the identity of the boy's parents. He wondered if he'd ever be able to know for certain whether or not Cook's niece, Olga, was the same Olga as the boy's mother. Probably not, he thought, but Joren really didn't care about solid proof. Tobe's face - as well as his father's reputation - was proof enough for him.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to update. When I chopped off the last few paragraphs from the previous chapter, I thought it would be easy to tweak them a little and post this chapter right away. Unfortunately, I saw the need to develop a more solid back-story and then I ended up rewriting it three more times. Ugh! :-( Anyway, I appreciate your patience and I hope you'll continue to enjoy my story. Please review. Thanks! :D**


	66. Three Questions

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Hello! I'm back from a lovely weekend retreat with my mom, celebrating my birthday in grand style. ^_^ Some of you have asked me how long I'll continue this story. Well, I know that there are at least five more chapters, including this one, as well as an epilogue. Luckily for you and unfortunately for me, I keep thinking of new ideas and plot twists and the writing gets lengthier and then I have to split up the chapters, and so on. ;P Drat! I **_**hate**_** it when that happens. Hopefully, it won't happen anymore. Anyway, it's been a while since I gave you some fluff, so there's a little bit in here, mostly toward the end of the chapter. ;D Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_"So are the men all after you, then, milady?" demanded Fanche. She stood in the door of the barracks where her people were to stay, hands on hips, brown eyes mocking. "Couldn't find a husband in the south, so you came here to pick and choose."_

_Einur turned on her with a glare. "You ain't been here these last weeks, so you keep silent till you know who you're talkin' of. She's been workin' curst hard--"_

_"Enough," Kel ordered, secretly pleased by his defense of her. She took him by the am and led him a few yards away from the cart and Fanche. "None of that," she told him. "Let's not start any brawls."_

_...Kel went back to the business of unpacking the wagon. Once that was finished, she went in search of Fanche...._

_"Mistress Fanche, I would like a word in private, if you please," she said as the older woman set the stone she carried in place._

_Fanche looked up at Kel, hair in her face. "I'm busy."_

_Kel held Fanche's eyes with her own. "If you please, Mistress Fanche."_

_The woman straightened and dusted off her hands, then followed Kel down the long strip of earth between the refugee barracks. When Kel reached the open ground between the buildings and the wall, she turned and faced the older woman...._

_As Fanche opened her mouth, ready to attack first, Kel said, "It doesn't matter what you think of me. If you have a criticism or an insult you'd like to deliver, then take me aside and tell me, I don't care. Though I must say, I do get bored with folk claiming I became a knight either because I'm a slut or I'm desperate for a husband. You'd think people would _try_ to be a little more original. I'm surprised to hear such talk from you."_

_Fanche grimaced. "Why? Because I'm another woman, and everyone knows women are sweet and helpful with each other? Because we're all sisters under the Goddess?"_

_Kel met her eyes steadily. "No. Because I expect you to know what it's like, to be a woman and command. Lord Wyldon said you rallied your people when Goatstrack fell. You took charge and fought till you got them to Giantkiller. I _know_ you must have had men who argued and balked and nearly got you all killed. I'd hoped you'd see you and I are in the same boat, and keep your disagreements between the two of us."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Lady Knight_

* * *

**Three Questions **

While Joren was bathing, Tobe wiped the road dust off the pieces of the man's armor. Once the handsome young lord was dressed, he observed the way the boy also had arranged the contents of his meal upon a small table. Joren realized that Kel must have been training the boy since she acquired him. He was certain that Tobe was probably better at being a squire than most first-year squires, even though he was barely old enough to be a page.

"If there's not enough food here, my lord," Tobe said, "You can have most of what's on my tray, too. I can always beg somethin' from th' cooks. They like me."

"I'm sure they do," Joren smiled reassuringly at him, remembering how charming his father had been whenever he wanted to have his own way - and how charming _he_ could be when he wanted something, too. His stomach clenched at those thoughts and he almost lost his appetite. Joren didn't want to be like his father, but there were so many ways that he already resembled the deceased man, he couldn't begin to help himself. Now he wondered just how much the unsuspecting Tobe also was like their father and shuddered.

"My lord!" Tobe exclaimed. "Are you alright? You din't look so well just then. Should I get our chief healer, Sir Neal?"

Joren grabbed the boy's wrist to keep him from leaving the room and released it quickly, saying, "No, no. That's not necessary. I was ... ah, just thinking about something ... unpleasant. The food looks wonderful and there's more than enough of it. I feel fine, really. Everything is fine. Come and join me at the table, Tobe. Bring your tray over and have your meal here so that neither of us has to eat alone."

Tobe hesitated, but then did as he was told. Lady Kel had taught him never to argue with a noble unless it truly was a matter of life and death - and even then, he was to show proper respect. Most nobles, like Sir Merric and some of the other knights at Fort Mastiff, annoyed him with their haughty ways, but he liked this man who sweetened up his lady's dreams. And Sir Neal was wrong about the young lord - well, mostly wrong, anyway. Now that he was clean, Lord Joren certainly was the prettiest man Tobe had ever seen, but regardless of what Sir Neal had said, he didn't seem to be as much of an "arrogant, over-bred, preening prat" as some of the other nobles Tobe had met.

They'd just finished their supper when a knock on the door startled both of them. Tobe got up from the table and opened the door when he saw Sir Merric, still in his armor, and a few soldiers standing in the hallway. They were carrying the large wooden crates that Joren's pack mule had transported north. Joren smiled and Tobe let them all come inside the room.

Merric smiled crookedly at Joren and said, "Here are the rest of your things. I found Neal and Mistress Fanche, the town's headwoman, and told them that you're here now. They've agreed to keep Kel occupied in the mess hall until you go over there."

"Did Kel ... did she see you?" Joren asked, worried that his surprise would be ruined.

"No, no. I'm sure she didn't," reassured Merric. "When I got to there, Kel was still talking with the helpers in the kitchen. Apparently they did quite a bit of damage during their fight over who was supposed to do which duties. It's always something different with the rabble, you know. I think Mistress Fanche actually ended the fight by knocking those idiots' heads together. Neal was finishing up healing someone's broken hand when I found him. In fact, Kel and Neal have only just begun to have their supper now, and you know how our lady knight gets when she hasn't eaten. I wish you luck, Lord Joren."

The young lord smiled. He remembered quite well that a hungry Kel was not a good person to upset. He almost felt sorry for the brawling kitchen workers because they had delayed her mealtime significantly. Perhaps, he thought, he'd better give Kel a little more time to digest her meal. Besides, Joren knew he needed to brew some of his special tea and collect his thoughts before he ventured out on his very important mission.

"Are you going over t' see her now, my lord?" Tobe asked, wide-eyed with anticipation while he watched Joren pour hot water from a tea kettle into a cup full of what looked liked dried grass and flower petals. "Can I come with you?"

"Tobe, it's 'may I come with you' and that's something you should know by now," Merric corrected and then explained to Joren, "Kel's been teaching the boy proper grammar and etiquette and all sorts of useful things. She says she's preparing him for palace duty someday." Merric smirked at the sight of Joren drinking his tea; he knew the true purpose of the Bazhir brew.

"I see," replied Joren, ignoring Merric's face and wondering what Tobe's future really might be once he revealed his thoughts about the boy's true parentage.

"Actually, Tobe, I could use a little help with getting out of the rest of my armor," Merric told the boy. "Let's allow Lord Joren to have some time alone before he goes over to speak with Lady Keladry, shall we? I'm certain that it would be best to let him go over by himself."

Tobe scowled up at Merric. He liked the redheaded knight most of the time, but whenever the man corrected his grammar, it felt wrong. The boy only wanted his lady to correct him, not the other knights as well. For some reason, most adults made him feel stupid when they told him how to say or do something, but Lady Kel always treated him with the same respect she showed to everyone. Still, Tobe followed Merric out of the room as requested, stopping only when he entered the hallway.

"Don't worry about th' trays and all, my lord," Tobe called back into Joren's quarters, "Someone'll tidy up in there before you return. The mess hall is around th' other side of th' practice yard from here. You can't miss it. And like Sir Merric said, I wish you luck with my lady, too." Then he trotted down the hallway and into the knight's rooms to help him take off his armor.

Joren finished his tea, went to the wash basin and cleaned his teeth. Buckling his sword around his waist, he checked his appearance one last time in the small mirror hanging on the wall. His clean and shiny hair was pulled back into its customary horsetail and he smoothed his mustache and chin whiskers again. Unfortunately, his white shirt was somewhat rumpled, as were his brown breeches, but that couldn't be helped. Joren patted the small box already in one pocket and placed the envelope which contained the blue satin ribbon, as well as a new poem, in another pocket. Lastly, he said a quick prayer for success to all the gods in the Divine Realms and walked out of the room.

* * *

"Peas, potatoes and pork - again! Pah!" said Kel as she wrinkled her nose at her cold, starchy supper.

Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, now known throughout Tortall as the 'Protector of the Small,' was having a bad day. Although her monthlies had ended two days earlier, she still was tired and cranky. It had been an unseasonably hot and humid summer in the north and she hadn't been sleeping well in the sticky heat. The weather was causing many other people to have short tempers as well. There had been a terrible fight amongst the kitchen workers that evening and one of the brawlers had broken his hand when he punched a frying pan that a cook was using as a shield.

Despite her complaints, the lady knight commander was hungry enough to eat her unappealing meal. Besides, she thought crossly, it wasn't the cooks' fault that their menus had so little variety. The refugees had done their best to grow crops in their poor soil that would yield a decent harvest in a short amount of time; therefore, the food locker was filled mostly with potatoes, onions, carrots and peas, along with plenty of salted pork.

Occasionally, there was fresh venison or boar, but the inhabitants of New Hope saved their chickens and cows for eggs, milk and butter. They also received a shipment of flour and sugar and other dried goods every month from the south, but toward the end of the month, the selections were very limited. Kel's only consolation was that the soldiers at nearby Fort Mastiff weren't eating anything different than the folks at New Hope.

Thinking of Fort Mastiff reminded Kel that Merric and his guards hadn't returned from their journey to Corus yet. The lady knight wasn't worried - there hadn't been a Scanran attack since they'd moved into the fortified town - but she'd hoped that her soldiers and the new supplies from the fort would arrive before nightfall. She also had hoped to hear from Joren by now, but his lack of communication only confirmed to her that he wouldn't be accompanying Merric this time. She wondered if he'd even show up at Lord Raoul and Commander Buri's wedding in a few weeks. Feeling crosser than ever, Kel stabbed at a gravy-soaked piece of potato with her knife several times before she finally popped it into her mouth.

"Mithros, Kel!" exclaimed Neal, "What did that poor potato ever do to you? If it weren't already cooked to death, I'd say you killed it."

Kel glared at her friend and replied dryly, "Hah, hah, hah. That joke was _so_ funny the first _forty_ times you told it, Neal, but now ... well, maybe you should kill the comment instead."

"You're in a fine mood, O Protector of the Small. What would some of your adoring public say if they could see your sour face right now?" Neal asked and then ducked as Kel threw both of her hard, crusty rolls at his head. There were no witnesses to the commander's fit of ill temper, because she and the healer-knight were the only people still in the quiet mess hall. Or so Kel thought.

Mistress Fanche Weir, the headwoman of New Hope, stood in the double doorway that led to the kitchen, watching Kel and Neal. She chuckled and shook her head in amusement. Everyone knew that the knight-mage and the camp commander were the best of friends. Still, the headwoman thought, it was a pity the tall, green-eyed healer was betrothed to some foreign lady in Corus, because the friends might have made a good match for each other. There'd been plenty of rumors about a wealthy nobleman who was supposedly courting the lady knight, but Fanche hadn't believed such tales until Sir Merric told her of the man's presence in the town just now.

"Lady Kel!" Fanche chided, "You should know better than t' waste good food like that. Now them rolls'll only be fit for your birds. Although, come t' think of it, mayhap that was your plan all along, eh?"

Kel looked down at her plate, feeling somewhat embarrassed. She had forgotten that Fanche had stayed in the kitchen after they'd stopped the cookhouse brawl. The older woman had been scolding the kitchen workers while they cleaned up the tremendous mess they had made. Grateful for her partnership with the tough, no-nonsense widow, the lady knight marveled at how well the woman handled disputes between the townsfolk. Kel and Fanche truly respected each other now; their friendship hadn't come easy, but they worked together very effectively to keep New Hope functioning as a small town and not just a refugee camp.

Before Lord Wyldon had gone south to attend the royal wedding, he had informed Kel that since the war between Tortall and Scanra was stabilized, he'd probably reassign her and Neal to different locations by the end of the year. He wanted Merric to continue to serve as the commander of the soldiers based at the refugee town, but Wyldon also was satisfied that New Hope's inhabitants would do well with Mistress Fanche as their headwoman. Sworn to secrecy about the upcoming changes, Kel often felt guilty as she worked side-by-side with Fanche and the others.

"Please pardon the wastefulness of our esteemed leader, Mistress Fanche," Neal said as he nodded courteously at the head women, "It's just the heat, you know. Everyone's been a bit edgy lately."

Fanche nodded and folded her arms across her chest and looked at Neal, "So I've noticed," she said with a grimace. "It's a real shame you ain't a weather mage, Sir Knight. With all these hot-heads makin' trouble, New Hope needs a good, soil-soaking rain t' clear th' air, that's for sure." Then she smiled crookedly and said, "But I think our commander here needs somethin' else for what's ailin' her. When's th' last time you reckon she had a man in her bed?"

Both Neal and Kel choked on their mouthfuls of food. Although they were accustomed to Fanche's coarse humor and forthright remarks, neither of them could have anticipated her saying such a thing at that moment. Neal, of course, now knew that Merric and Joren had arrived safely and that the young lord was cleaning up in preparation for coming over to see Kel. He swallowed his food and then laughed aloud until Kel kicked him under the table. Kel finally forced her food down her throat with a swig of not-so-chilled juice.

The lady knight's face was beet-red from embarrassment. For the past week or so, she'd been having vivid dreams about her times with Joren - especially about the night they'd slept together after he admitted to her that he'd been drinking a special tea which rendered him incapable of making love to her. Usually, her dreams ended right before the part where he woke up and jumped out of her bed. However, during the previous night, the dream had continued beyond that point to when she realized Joren was awake and aroused. Her dream-self had turned over to face him and then ... what?

The problem was that Kel didn't know exactly what came next - she'd only heard stories of other people's romantic encounters. She knew that she _wanted_ to know, but Joren was so adamant about protecting her virtue that she doubted he would change his mind any time soon. Forcing herself to wake up from her frustrating dream, Kel felt too tense and irritated to return to her sleep.

Relieved that neither Jump at the foot of her bed nor Tobe in the adjoining room seemed to be affected by her tossing and turning, Kel had gotten up and dressed and went out to check on the night watch. She also was grateful for the relatively cooler night air and for the fact that none of the guards questioned their commander's sudden appearance, especially since Sir Merric was still away. Walking around the quiet town gave her time to think.

Kel allowed all the things that Joren had ever said to her in person, as well as in his letters, to flow through her mind while she walked. He'd changed so much during the years that she had known him. His younger self had hated her and caused her much pain, but the man he had become loved her intensely, of that much she was certain. Joren's younger self had bedded every female who caught his eye, but the man he had become claimed not to have been near anyone's bed but hers for several years - and she believed him. It was also Joren's younger self who had started most of the ugly rumors about her lack of virtue, but the man he was now declared that he wanted her to remain a virgin until they were married _and_ that he wanted everyone else to know the truth of her long-held virtue.

Ever since Kel had accomplished the mission the Chamber had given to her, the young lady hidden inside of the knight commander worried about whether or not the young Lord of Stone Mountain would ask for her hand in marriage any time in the near future. She refused to count his inebriated presentation of a betrothal ribbon as anything but a sad mistake. As she walked through the quiet streets in the hour or so before dawn, Kel decided that her heart would want her to say "Yes" if Joren formally proposed to her. Her head hadn't quite figured out how they would make such a marriage work, especially if Lord Wyldon reassigned her to border duty.

Now Kel wondered how Fanche knew that she'd been thinking about a man - a man who'd even been in her bed before. Was it just 'women's intuition' or had she - or Tobe - unknowingly let something slip about her nightly dreams? Kel knew her face was red after nearly choking on her food, but since she couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't reveal her true thoughts, she said nothing at all and hid behind her comfortable Yamani mask of calm.

Fanche noticed the familiar blank expression on Kel's face and realized that, although she'd been joking, perhaps the lady knight really _did_ need the company of the man who'd come to visit with her. The older woman imitated her commander's stony face as an extremely handsome, Scanran-looking nobleman walked very quietly through the mess hall behind Kel. It didn't take mage-sight to see that this must be the wealthy lord from the northeastern mountains of Tortall whom Sir Merric had spoken of earlier.

* * *

"Is this seat taken?" asked a familiar baritone voice behind Kel. "I promise I won't steal anything off of your tray - the cooks here already have fed me quite well this evening."

Kel froze in place. Her eyes flew wide open and then she narrowed them when she saw that Neal and Fanche were smiling at the person standing behind her. They _knew _he was here and hadn't told her! Somehow, Joren had snuck into her fortified town - probably with Merric's help, too - and now she was caught completely by surprise. As soon as she regained a tiny bit of composure, Kel stomped on Neal's foot.

"Ow!" Neal exclaimed. "What was that for?"

Kel refused to answer Neal - or Joren - and glared at Fanche instead. The headwoman merely shrugged her shoulders and smirked back at her. Now she understood where the comment about needing a man came from. Fanche must have already figured out that her remedy for Kel's moodiness would be strolling through the door any moment. The lady knight tried to think of calm pools of water and lots of smooth stones, but to no avail. Meanwhile, she knew that Joren was standing behind her, patiently waiting for her to offer him the seat next to her, which, obviously, was vacant at that moment.

Neal finally stood up and walked around the end of the table, greeting the newcomer with a polite bow. "Lord Joren, it's good to see you again. Welcome to New Hope." Gesturing toward the stocky woman standing in front of the kitchen doors, he said, "This is Mistress Fanche Weir, our town's very capable headwoman. Mistress Weir, this is Lord Joren of Stone Mountain, the man who is courting our suddenly-_mute_ commander." Neal was standing far away enough that Kel couldn't hit or kick him again.

The older woman curtsied and Joren bowed to her in return. The warm smile he gave her made her blush in a way she knew she hadn't done in a long time. After excusing herself to see about the progress of the kitchen clean-up, Fanche Weir actually had to fan her face to cool it off. She didn't envy the knight commander for having such a handsome young lord coming to visit her without as much as a day's warning. He looked like quite a handful - which was just what Fanche had said Kel needed, anyway.

Neal also tried to excuse himself from the mess hall in order to give the couple some well-deserved privacy, but Joren caught him by the arm, saying, "Actually, I'd prefer a witness - a chaperone of sorts - if you will, Sir Knight. I have three questions to ask Lady Keladry. It's important that someone be here with us and I'd be ... honored if that person was you." Neal nodded his understanding and his acquiescence, but he sat down at the far end of a table across the aisle from where Kel still sat, stiff-backed and tight-lipped.

Joren knew his beloved lady knight was angry, but he leaned down close to her ear and said the words he'd been practicing for months, hoping that they would sound correct since they all were in the Yamani language, "Lady Keladry of Mindelan, would you consider honoring the House of Stone Mountain by agreeing to pour tea for our mothers with me - and only me?"

The question came softly, from lips that almost touched the tip of Kel's left ear. The fact that the words were in the most formal, royal Yamani language made her green-hazel eyes fly wide open in shocked recognition. The fact that the words were the traditional proposal of marriage a Yamani nobleman of the highest rank would say to his prospective bride made her gasp in surprise. Allowing her heart to guide her, all Kel could do was nod her head as Joren slid onto to bench next to her. Then he opened a small box in front of her as he asked his next question, also a traditional proposal in the formal Yamani language.

"My lady, would you grant me the honor of becoming my wife, the Lady of my House and the mother of my sons?" Joren asked as he lifted out the silver ring with a smooth moonstone set within its intricate strands and held it out to her in the palm of his hand. Kel knew that it matched the silver jewelry he had given her earlier and she wondered if he'd purchased it all at the same time. Again, she nodded her agreement and he slid the ring onto the third finger of her left hand, where it fit perfectly.

Kel opened her mouth, but before any sound could escape, Joren slowly asked his third question, careful to say the informal Yamani words correctly, "Would you handfast with me, my love, so that we may offer sacrifices together to please the Great Goddess from eternity to eternity?" Then he placed an envelope next to the left side of her food tray and spoke again, this time in their native Eastern Lands Common language, "Go ahead, Kel, open it. It's for you."

Blinking back her sudden tears, Kel complied. Her fingers trembled as she pulled out the folded piece of parchment. When Joren's betrothal ribbon fell into her lap, he picked it up and gently placed it over her head and settled the strip of blue satin around her neck like a garland. More happy tears welled up in Kel's eyes when she read the words that Joren had written to her.

**********

_To Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_My Dearest Kel,_

_I know that you still have my first poem, the one I gave you so many Midwinters ago. It warms my heart to think that you've kept it for such a long time and that it helped you to believe that I couldn't harm you. Even if you decide to keep the original version, I hope this one will seem much improved: _

_Yes, I was the only volunteer_

_To show you the palace ways;_

_And you were the only volunteer_

_To help me write letters and essays._

_Now you're the only volunteer to be my lady;_

_I've forsaken all others to have you._

_I'm the only volunteer to love you in every way; _

_I promise forever to be true._

_I'll not ask you to forsake your knighthood,_

_Nor demand sons upon our wedding bed._

_I only ask that we stay together always;_

_And that someday you'll command our men instead._

_I'll gladly be the only volunteer_

_To show you the Goddess' ways;_

_Since you've always been the only volunteer_

_To believe in_ me_ for all of my days._

_You, of course, know that the only reason I can write anything at all is because of the help you've given me time and again. I love you more than _any_ words can possibly express. Please, Keladry of Mindelan, marry me!_

_All my love,_

_Joren_

**********

Kel looked up from the page to see Joren's incredible sky-blue eyes gazing at her. She could tell that he'd just had a bath; he smelled almost deliciously clean. It wasn't fair! Next to him she felt dull and grimy and she wished that her friends had warned her of his arrival so that she might have had a chance to freshen up, too. Sighing, Kel figured that if Joren still wanted her, looking and smelling not-so-fresh from a long day's work, then he could have every bit of her, just as she was.

"Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain, I will gladly pour tea with you - and only you," Kel replied carefully in the Yamani language, "I will gladly be your Lady and bear your children - eventually. I'll even handfast with you and follow the ways of the Goddess, as you wish." Then she smiled at him and added in Common, "Yes, Joren, I will marry you."

When Kel leaned forward and kissed Joren, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back with searing passion. Kel felt the heat inside her body flare up with intensity beyond anything she'd ever experienced before. It was as though the entire mess hall soon would be illuminated by all of the sparks she was certain they were giving off. Neither of them cared that they had an audience.

Mistress Fanche, the cooks and several of the kitchen workers had been stealing glances at the kissing couple through the gap between the kitchen doors. The older woman quickly resolved to do everything in her power to give Lady Keladry as much time and privacy as possible with the beautiful nobleman who had just become betrothed to New Hope's commanding officer. It would be difficult - once the townsfolk saw the handsome stranger, rumors would fly - but the headwoman would flex her muscles and keep the gossips away from the young couple as much as she could. Then Fanche realized she'd better get to work soon; she had to inform all the townswomen that she would whip them herself if any of them so much as batted their eyes toward Lady Kel's man.

In the far corner of the mess hall, Sir Nealan of Queenscove wiped a stray tear from his eye. Having witnessed the mess Joren had made of his previous proposal to Kel, the extremely romantic knight-mage never would have imagined the scene in front of him. He understood most of what the young couple had said to each other because he had learned several Yamani phrases in the hope of impressing his fiancée, Yukimi; however, even the former university scholar hadn't tried to propose to Yuki in her home language. Neal hated to admit it, but the Lord of Stone Mountain had outclassed him when it came to his triple Yamani proposal to Kel.

If they had been standing, the kissing in which Kel and Joren were currently engaged would have been a near-reenactment of the passionate embrace they had shared before Joren set sail for the Yamani Islands. Back then, sailors and other passersby had hooted and whistled at the young couple while they held each other tightly and kissed each other's lips, face, neck and hands. They hadn't cared, even though they knew people would - and did - gossip about them later.

As it was now, with them sitting next to each other at a wooden table in the mess hall, Joren leaned in against Kel while they kissed until she was lying flat on the bench and he was on top of her. It wasn't very comfortable, but neither of them really noticed at that point. And while the tea that Joren had so recently consumed wouldn't allow him go any further, it couldn't stop the young lord from feeling the ecstasy of his lady knight finally agreeing to marry him. The newly-betrothed couple continued to kiss and kiss and kiss.

* * *

**A/N: Full disclosure time - this was a difficult chapter for me to write. Poetry is not one of my strengths. :-( It took me almost as long to figure out the poetic proposal as it did the majority of the chapter. I hope all you lovers of fluff are happy. And for those of you who don't enjoy the mushy stuff; sorry, it should be obvious to you by now that there's more of it coming along soon. ;P Please review. Thanks! :D**


	67. Negotiations

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Yay! I'm happy that so many of you enjoyed the romance and fluffiness of the previous chapter. ^_^ I do apologize for the long wait, but I truly had many details to work out in this super huge chapter. ;D There's some fluff in here, too, but there's also a **_**ton**_** of character development, as well as some actual plot resolution. More to follow! Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_...Joren leaned in against Kel while they kissed until she was lying flat on the bench and he was on top of her. It wasn't very comfortable, but neither of them really noticed at that point. And while the tea that Joren had so recently consumed wouldn't allow him go any further, it couldn't stop the young lord from feeling the ecstasy of his lady knight finally agreeing to marry him. The newly-betrothed couple continued to kiss and kiss and kiss._

* * *

**Negotiations **

Thunder crashed and lightning flared across the skies of the mortal world. A storm was approaching the fortified town of New Hope, but the people there welcomed the moisture. One more good rain would be very beneficial before they began harvesting the crops they had worked so hard to coax from the poor soil outside their gates.

"You tricked me!" boomed Mighty Mithros in the Divine Realms.

The Great Goddess examined her perfect fingernails and calmly replied, "I did no such thing, dear brother." She then looked at him with a bright and steady gaze. "All is well."

"We traded vassals fair and square," Mithros fumed, unmoved by his consort's lovely face, "Yet, I clearly heard the female warrior agree to become one of _your_ followers if the male wishes her to do so. _She's_ supposed to be _mine _and you know it!"

"Do not fret, my love," the Goddess said in a soothing tone. "Her declaration of devotion was merely a phrase in the language of courtship and betrothal. Of course, she'll still follow you - she's a warrior, after all."

Mithros stroked his chin and considered what the Goddess said. His eyes narrowed and he said coldly, "I don't like it when you try to make a fool of me. Certainly, the girl has a fighter's spirit and tenacity, but most females seem to end up following you in one way or another. In fact, almost all of the mortals who populate the forested highlands pay homage to you, too, O Mother of Mountains. I think you _knew_ this would happen. Admit it - you got the better end of our bargain!"

The Goddess sighed. There was no point in trying to placate Mithros now that he was in such a foul mood. She decided to distract him instead, and spoke of the troubles among the mortals who lived in the Far East, well beyond the mountain ranges of the so-called Eastern Lands. Mithros followed the conversation, but he wasn't fooled; he knew what the Goddess was doing. It took him a long time to calm down.

* * *

Thunder crashed and lightning flared across the darkening sky. The pitter-patter sound of a steady summer rain on the roof began to echo through the nearly vacant mess hall. Two of the three people in the large space were oblivious to the sound of the raindrops - and everything else around them - as they lay on a wooden bench, kissing each other passionately. The third person - who'd been waiting patiently for the other two to come up for air - was becoming more annoyed every minute by the knowledge that he now would get soaked when he dashed back to his infirmary.

"Ahem!" Neal loudly cleared his throat and the sudden sound startled Kel and Joren into looking up from their ardent kissing. The tall, green-eyed knight had walked over from his table to stand above the romantically entwined couple and was glaring down at them. "Lord Joren, Lady Keladry - while this has been a lovely reunion and all, I must protest! If I'm supposed to take my duties as a _chaperone_ seriously, then I must respectfully request that you two refrain from such impassioned embraces."

Joren lifted himself off of Kel and helped her to sit upright on the bench. Both of their faces turned crimson with embarrassment as they turned their attention to the tall healer, but their smiles were wide and their demeanors were unrepentant. Despite his haughty speech, Neal smiled down at them, too. It had been a long time since the healer had seen his best friend looking so happy. He almost didn't want to say what he said next, but he knew it was for Kel's own good.

"It's _undignified_," Neal drawled, "And it's as torrid as your previous performance at the harbor back in January. So unless you two intend on providing even more grist for the rumor mill, I highly suggest that you limit your public displays of affection to polite hand-holding and chaste kisses on the cheeks - like the rest of us chivalrous knights must do. That is, _when_ we get to see our loved ones. Besides, you've gathered quite an audience and I think they've already seen quite enough for today."

Neal nodded toward the kitchen doors and the couple noticed that several faces were peering out at them curiously, including Tobe's. When the boy had finished helping Merric, he snuck in through the back door of the kitchen. No one had paid him any attention as he gently elbowed his way through the small crowd to get a better view of the romantic scene in the mess hall. Now, as Kel noticed his presence, the boy's sky-blue eyes went wide and his cheeks turned pink with the embarrassment of being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

When she saw all of the other onlookers in the kitchen, Kel closed her eyes and groaned. "Oh, no! Who knows what rumors they'll concoct from this?" _And, Goddess help me_, she thought, _how am I going to explain it all to Tobe?_

"Why don't we invite them all in and explain ourselves?" Joren suggested, winking at Tobe, who then looked down at the floor. "We all know that these people will wag their tongues no matter what we do, so let's at least start them off with the _correct_ version of what's going on here."

Feeling vexed, Neal put his hands on his hips and asked, "And what _exactly_ is that, my lord? As nice as your words to each other were, that wasn't an _official_ betrothal ceremony, and you know it! What are you planning to do - _steal_ Kel away from us? Everyone knows that you need a Lady, as well as an heir, at Stone Mountain. The Protector of the Small just can't leave her command and follow you back to your fief. She's got important responsibilities _here_."

"I _know_ that, Queenscove," Joren said impatiently. "Don't glare at me as though I'm a fox in the henhouse! I'm not here to take Kel away from her command. Truthfully, if I even _attempted_ to steal Kel away from here now, King Jonathan probably would order Lord Wyldon to kill me before I ever got past Fort Mastiff. They already made it quite clear to me that their precious Protector of the Small must stay at New Hope until they release her from this command - and apparently, that's not any time soon. However, since neither she nor I are bound by the restrictions of our parents, _we_ shall be the ones to negotiate all the terms and conditions of joining our Houses together _after_ Kel finishes her command."

"We shall?" Kel asked as she turned sharply toward Joren, "I mean, of course, my father informed me of his approval, but I ... I didn't realize that we'd have to, um, _negotiate_ ... anything." The lady knight suddenly felt foolish for not understanding the full impact of being freed from having to comply with her father's decisions. Obviously, there would have to be a written betrothal agreement, and now she'd have to act on her own behalf to represent the interests of the House of Mindelan.

"And the ceremony?" Neal asked, not deterred from his line of questioning.

Joren rolled his eyes. "Surely, there's a temple of the Goddess nearby where we can have an _official_ betrothal ceremony. Mithros, Queenscove! You're worse than a mother hen!"

"Pardon me, your lordship," drawled Neal, "If I remember correctly, _you're_ the one who asked me to stay and be a chaperone. And after that little show, you've proven that you definitely need one!"

"Fine!" Joren sighed in resignation, "We'll go to the nearest temple tomorrow morning and arrange for an official betrothal ceremony. I came prepared to do that anyway. But let's not talk of all those boring, legal requirements tonight - for gods' sake, man - the woman I love just agreed to marry me!"

Grinning widely, Neal shook his head at Joren and then he turned to Kel. Bowing graciously, he said, "Alright then, let me be the first to congratulate you on your _unofficial_ betrothal. May the gods all bless your marriage with joy and prosperity. Now, what do you want to do about the folks at the kitchen door? They've been watching and listening for quite a while, you know."

In reply, Kel took a deep breath, rose from the bench, smoothed down her tousled hair and tucked in her shirt. Then she walked over to the double doors which led to the kitchens. Several people scattered, including Tobe, but not Mistress Fanche. When the lady knight opened one of the doors, the headwoman put her hands on her hips and smiled slyly at Kel.

"See? You look much better already, my lady. You've got good color in yer face now an' you don't seem all tensed up like before," Fanche declared. "I _told_ you that you needed a man!" Two of the cooks chuckled at the headwoman's cheeky remarks.

Kel knew that her lips were swollen and that her face looked hopelessly flushed, but she decided not to address the fact that Fanche and Tobe and all the cooks and kitchen workers had seen her kissing Joren so passionately. People saw what they saw and the best she could hope for was that the resulting rumors wouldn't be too wild. Then she took another deep breath and beckoned to everyone who'd been standing behind the kitchen doors.

"Please," Kel waved her hand to bring them over, "Come into the mess hall - yes, all of you. I have good news to share with everyone and you all will be the first ones to hear it."

Feeling very much the same way she did on the day she first took command at Haven, Kel looked at the faces of the dozen or so people as they filed out of the kitchen. Glancing at Joren, she saw that he also had straightened up his appearance and was standing next to Neal now. It still wasn't fair that the blond man looked so calm and clean. Kel resisted the urge to check her hair again.

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Lord Joren of Stone Mountain," Kel said. Joren bowed politely in return to the many bows and curtsies he received. "As you might have guessed, he is very dear to me." She waited for the laughter to die down and then continued, "Lord Joren has been courting me for ... um, quite a while. I have just accepted his proposal of marriage - which, of course, you _all _seemed to have witnessed. We'll have a ... a betrothal ceremony as soon as we make arrangements with the temple priestesses." Her new silver engagement ring gleamed brightly as she touched the blue ribbon around her neck.

At first, no one said anything, but one of the cooks started clapping his hands and soon everyone else quietly joined in. The polite applause was somewhat disappointing - and unnerving - to Kel. When their smiles slowly disappeared, it was obvious that neither Mistress Fanche nor any of the cooks and other kitchen staff seemed truly pleased or enthused by their commander's announcement.

"Lord Joren, Lady Keladry, as headwoman of the town of New Hope, I offer you our congratulations," Fanche finally spoke up, her voice sounding strained. "May th' Goddess be with you both an' bless yer union with health an' luck. So ... when will you be leavin' us, my lady?" Her question was, if nothing else, very direct and to the point.

"Leaving you? What?" Kel glanced back at Neal with a confused look on her face. He raised his eyebrows back at her in an "I told you so" gesture.

"Mayhap we're simple folk, my lady," Fanche said, "But we're not daft. If you're t' become th' wife of a high an' mighty lord, you'll be needin' to go off a start plannin' yer fancy weddin' and all. Yer days as a knight - and as New Hope's commander - are surely comin' to an end, right?"

All the color drained from Kel's face as impact of Fanche's words slammed into her consciousness like a battering ram. She really hadn't given much thought to what anyone would think about her future as Joren's betrothed - or as the headwoman had phrased it, "th' wife of a high an' mighty lord." Tobe squeezed out of the crowd and ran around to stand in front of his lady. Nobody else spoke or moved for an awkwardly long moment.

Finally, Joren stepped forward with his hands raised in a placating gesture, "There's no cause for worry, Mistress Fanche - honestly, I'm not here to take Lady Keladry away from you." Glancing down at Tobe, he added, "_Any_ of you."

Then the young lord stepped closer to Kel and put one arm around her waist, pulling her tight against his side. On the one hand, it was a comforting and almost protective gesture. On the other hand, it was something he'd never done before, so it felt quite odd to Kel. She placed her hands on Tobe's thin shoulders as Joren continued to speak.

"Please, everyone, try to understand," he sounded earnest, "I've been waiting a long, long time to ask for Lady Keladry's hand in marriage. Both Sir Neal and Sir Merric certainly can attest to that fact." He glanced back at Neal, who nodded in agreement. "However, I assure you that neither the king nor the district commander would appreciate it if I _stole_ their Protector of the Small." A few people chuckled nervously at his comment and then he continued, "I realize that there is much to do here - you've barely rebuilt your lives and you're all preparing to harvest your crops. In fact, I've brought extra food supplies with me so that we might have a proper betrothal celebration - once we've received the official blessings of the Daughters of the Goddess, of course. Make no mistake; I'm extremely glad that Lady Keladry has agreed to marry me, but she won't be leaving New Hope until she _completes _her time as your commander. "

Kel blinked. Did he really mean what he just said? Then she remembered his poem. Unlike Joren's first poem to Kel, which pleaded with her to leave palace training and become a regular lady for him, this new version claimed that he wouldn't ask her to give up her knighthood. A bubble of hope swelled in her chest as her dreamer's hazel eyes met Joren's sky-blue eyes and he nodded once.

Now the people in the mess hall applauded with zeal. Their smiles were genuinely happy and their congratulations much more vigorous than before. Kel knew that the news of her betrothal would spread like wildfire through the town. She only hoped that the inevitable stories about the way she'd been kissing Joren wouldn't stretch the truth too much.

* * *

"And this is my office," Kel said as she ushered Joren into the place where she tried to spend as little time as possible. "Tobe, would you please light the candles now? It's so dark in here; I think the days are finally growing shorter. I'll also need you to find Mistress Carter and inform her that she'll need to prepare two of the guest rooms for Lord Joren."

The boy nibbled his lower lip as he glanced from Kel to Joren and then back again. He wasn't sure if he should be the one to tell his lady that the handsome lord was already settled in over at the barracks. When Tobe began to open his mouth, Joren spoke up.

"Actually, Kel," Joren said evenly, "I'm perfectly satisfied with staying at the barracks with Merric and the soldiers. In fact, I've already moved my personal belongings into a nice set of quarters over there and I think it'll be quite comfortable for the duration of my stay. That's where I bathed and shook off the road dust before I found you this evening. Tobe and I even had a pleasant chat as we shared that tasty dinner, didn't we, lad?"

The boy nodded his head and waited for Kel's reaction. Tobe didn't think it should matter where Lord Joren stayed, but he knew that his lady had been anticipating her man's visit for a long time. He could see that she was _not_ happy about the lord's current accommodations. The sensitive boy had even considered sleeping in the barn with the horses if the actions within his lady's dreams began to happen in real life. He definitely didn't want to be a witness to anything more than what he'd already seen in the mess hall.

The lady knight's jaw tightened. Kel was tired of waiting for Joren to change his mind about preserving her virtue. The way he'd kissed her after she accepted his proposals that evening had only added fuel to her burning desire for him. Surely he wasn't still planning on them offering that special sacrifice to the Goddess now that they were betrothed? She knew that if Joren insisted on staying in the barracks, instead of in one of the guest rooms down the hall from her, they'd have a much harder time sneaking into each other's beds.

Kel tried not to sound whiny as she politely explained, "Joren, my head housekeeper, Mistress Carter, will be very disappointed if you don't stay in the rooms she's prepared for our visitors. I certainly can understand you not wanting to drag your things over here now that night is upon us. So, why don't we plan to move you into the headquarters building tomorrow, when there will be plenty of daylight?"

Joren stared at Kel, feeling the pull of temptation and knowing that he had to resist it at all costs. "No, Kel," he said slowly, "I think it will be _best_ if I stay in the barracks. As I said, I think I'll be quite comfortable over there." Then he turned to Tobe, who was trying hard not to be noticed while he finished his task of lighting the candles, and asked, "Tobe, would you please go to the barracks and let Sir Merric know that I request his presence at Lady Keladry's office? I'd really appreciate it."

Tobe knew that Lord Joren only wanted to get rid of him long enough to argue with his lady in private. Grown-ups always sent children on pointless errands when they needed to have discussions that they didn't want younglings to hear. After glancing at Kel for her approval of this different mission, Tobe bowed to both of them and then hurried out of the office. The faster he retrieved Sir Merric, the faster he'd be able to find a hiding place to listen to more of Lady Kel and Lord Joren's conversation.

Once she was certain that Tobe was gone, Kel closed her office door and turned on Joren, "Why are you being so stubborn? The place for visitors is _here_ in the headquarters building!"

"Give me just a little credit, Kel," Joren replied, "Neal made a very good point. You _know_ it wouldn't be proper - or wise - for us to stay under the same roof at this point in time. A lot of people remember that one of my father's restrictions on me is that I have to marry a virgin and they're actually starting to believe me when I assure them of your virtue. Even _Merric_ believes me now; although his own kinsman, Faleron, told him that he saw me leaving your rooms that night we slept together. No, Kel, I'll not jeopardize the progress I've made so far!"

Kel's face turned red with anger and she narrowed her eyes at him, "The progress you-- Mithros! You ... you've been discussing my _virginity_ with ... with Merric and ...and with other people? Must you try to convince _everyone_ in the realm of my virtue? I've just agreed to marry you so it ... it truly doesn't matter anymore!"

"It does to _me_!" Joren exclaimed. He crossed the room and held Kel by the shoulders as he continued, "Kel, can't you see how important this is? I promised your father I would do everything in my power to repair the damage to your reputation that _I_ personally caused. Those were _my_ nasty rumors that spread around the court like poison against you when you were a page. Those were _my_ so-called friends who tried to run you through at the jousting tournaments when you were a squire. Stupid men, like Voelden of Tirrsmont. I never even liked the fool!"

Releasing her anger, Kel's shoulders sagged and she quietly said, "You know, Sir Voelden is dead. A few of Blayce's killing devices overran his unit's position when Scanran raiders attacked his home fief and set fire to the villages there. He ... he left behind a young wife and an infant son. And his father went half-crazy with grief. The old baron wouldn't help the people who had tended his lands for so long. In fact, many of the refugees here at New Hope are from Fief Tirrsmont."

"I ... I'm sorry, Kel," Joren whispered, "I didn't know. Gods! There's so much I missed while I was gone; but mostly, I just missed _you_."

Pulling Kel close to his chest and hugging her tightly, Joren offered a silent prayer to the Black God. He hadn't meant to speak ill of the dead man and the fact that some of Kel's people had come from Tirrsmont was quite sobering. They stood in a comforting embrace for another moment until Kel turned her face toward his. Then they began to kiss - slowly at first, but quickly becoming passionate again until Joren gently pulled away from her.

"What is it, Joren?" Kel asked worriedly, her very green-hazel eyes searched his, "What's wrong?"

Sighing heavily, he said, "If I could, I'd marry you tonight, Kel. As it is, we'll just have to be ... careful. I've been hoping to stay here until Lord Raoul's wedding; I figured I could travel with you so that we could attend the celebration together. Will it cause too much trouble for you if I stay at New Hope for that long?"

Kel gazed at him and said, "I don't know. That's almost three weeks from now. How do you plan to occupy yourself for such a long time? Neal's right about another thing, you know. I _do_ have many duties and responsibilities to fulfill as the commander here."

"I know you do," Joren said, a sly smile playing across his lips. "Perhaps I'll just wander around this town and observe the illustrious Protector of the Small at work." Then he quickly stepped away from her to avoid getting hit.

"Now that I think of it, perhaps I _can't_ afford to have you lurking about and distracting me for the next few weeks," Kel declared playfully.

Joren raised an eyebrow and said "Oh, so now I'm just a _distraction _to you again? I'll have you know that I've spent years watching my uncle as he commanded the soldiers at Stone Mountain. I know how to stay out of your way. You won't even notice me, especially if I spend my time training with the soldiers and going out on patrol with them from time to time. In fact, once Tobe brings Merric over, we'll tell him our good news and talk about my schedule while I'm here. Then we'll all go to bed - separately, of course." He smiled at her and she glared at him in return.

Kel was about to ask Joren another question when, as if on cue, Merric and Tobe knocked on her office door. She told them to enter and they came in slowly. Looking rather sheepish, Merric was the first to speak.

"Listen, Kel, I know Mistress Carter has been keeping those guest rooms ready for visitors ever since we moved here, but I agree with Lord Joren," Merric gulped nervously before he continued, "It'll look better for both of you if he stays over in the barracks with me and the soldiers."

Kel smiled wryly at him and said, "Relax, Merric. I've reached an understanding with our _surprise_ guest. I'm ... fine with him staying in the barracks for the duration of his visit with us. But I've just decided that _you'll _have to be the one to explain to Mistress Carter why you settled him in over there instead of here."

Tobe stifled a giggle, but he became silent when Kel narrowed her eyes at him and said, "And _you,_ young man! It certainly wasn't right for you to hide the fact that Lord Joren had arrived with Sir Merric this evening. You work for _me_ - not them. Don't you forget it!"

"Yes, my lady," Tobe looked down at the floor, "I won't forget."

"Lady Keladry, don't be too hard on the boy," Joren said, "Sir Merric and I kept him occupied - he was helping me with my armor and other gear, as well as my bath and supper, too. We made sure that Tobe never had a chance to sneak off and ruin my surprise." He turned to Merric, winked at him and said, "She accepted, by the way."

Merric bowed to them and said, "Congratulations to you both!"

"Thank you, Merric," Kel smiled back at him and then her smile faded when she realized what Joren had said to Merric. "Wait a moment! Joren just told you that I accepted. You already _knew_ he was going to propose to me, didn't you?"

Merric's face turned almost as red as his hair as he admitted, "Actually, I _did_ have a little advanced notice of Lord Joren's intentions toward you, Kel. Everyone who traveled in our group did, too - including Lord Wyldon and Owen. I'm sure that somebody will lose a bet or two over your answer."

Joren looked down at the floor and pinched the bridge of his nose as Merric cheerfully blabbered on about the way that Joren had asked Owen if the squire could keep a secret and how everyone had laughed at that. Then the redheaded knight told Kel that Joren knew he had to find her before the courier did, because he was sure that Owen had slipped a note into the correspondence pouch to warn Kel about his arrival. Merric stopped grinning when he noticed the now-stony expression on the lady knight's face.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Kel said stiffly, "Don't you think I would have appreciated just a tiny bit of advanced notice that Lord Joren was traveling with you? And what's the world coming to when my own boy can't be trusted to get me the information I need? Tobe, you may be excused to your room to take your bath now." She knew her voice had a sharp edge to it, but she didn't care.

Kel had noticed an odd expression on Joren's face when she called Tobe her "own boy" and she decided she'd ask him about it later. At the moment, she was furious at all of the males in her life and she only was able to calm herself by thinking of smooth stones and cool streams of water. Kel would have to explain Tobe's terms of indentured service to Joren and then they would have to add them into their betrothal agreement so that there wouldn't be any misunderstandings. But that discussion would have to wait until she wasn't so angry.

Joren also saw Kel's face, so he stood up and cleared his throat, "Perhaps we should continue our conversation in the morning. Merric and I have had a long journey and it's been an exciting evening. Personally, I think we'll all feel much better after a good night's sleep. Don't you agree, my lady?"

"Yes, I think that _will_ be best," Kel nodded, her face still a mask of Yamani calm. She knew that she'd only say things she'd regret later if the males in her office kept talking. Obviously, _they_ had talked enough for one day.

* * *

The next morning, when Kel woke up, she remembered that her sisters and cousins had been required to follow all kinds of rules and customs when they accepted their marriage proposals. First, there were the elaborate betrothal ceremonies. Then they all had to attend a variety of balls and social functions from the moment the ink was dry on their betrothal agreements until the final dances at their weddings. Additionally, the young ladies had to meet with their future mothers-in-law and plan their weddings according to their parents' directives.

Thankfully, Kel thought, she wouldn't have to bother with all that nonsense. While she was relieved not to have to be concerned with the flurry of activities that her female relatives had to endure, the independent Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan wasn't exactly sure what she should or shouldn't do next. So she grabbed her glaive and went out to practice as she normally would do on any other day.

The few townsfolk who had been out and about while Kel completed her morning routine waved at her and offered their warm congratulations on her betrothal. The lady knight knew that she would have to face the rest of the people of New Hope sooner or later. And she was confident that once she introduced Joren to everyone, she'd have to reassure everyone that she wasn't leaving her command just yet. It promised to be a very long day.

After she completed her exercises and washed up, the lady knight conducted a quick inventory of her clothes. Although she'd donned a lightweight shirt and sturdy breeches for the day, her fingers had lingered over the two gowns she kept stored deep within a trunk at the foot of her bed. It had been a long time since she'd worn either of them and the thought of being betrothed to Joren now brought out all sorts of funny feelings about how people might expect her to behave. Sighing, Kel pulled the gowns out of the trunk and hung them up to allow the wrinkles to loosen. She hoped that none of the townsfolk would faint from the shock of seeing her in a dress.

One thing was certain - Kel knew she needed help with her end of the betrothal agreement. New Hope only had two elderly Daughters of the Goddess who administered the refugees' spiritual needs and tended the town's small temple. Although Kel's family has raised her to respect the religious practices of everyone, she didn't particularly consider herself to be a devout Goddess-worshipper like most of the townsfolk. Now she'd have to find out if either of the priestesses would be able to help her and Joren with their betrothal documents and the official ceremony. Perhaps, she thought, she'd better enlist the services of her head clerk, Master Terrec, too.

Ignoring her growling stomach, Kel sent for Master Terrec before she went to breakfast. When the short, balding man reported to her office, she asked him to sit down and then she said, "As you already might've heard, last night I accepted a proposal of marriage from Lord Joren of Stone Mountain."

Master Terrec nodded his head and smiled, "Yes, Lady Keladry. The whole town is abuzz with the news. Congratulations!"

"Thank you, Master Terrec," Kel replied. "I'll get right to the point. I will need your assistance with writing my part of the betrothal agreement. Lord Joren's father is deceased and my father has given his approval for me to act on my own behalf in this matter. We plan to speak with the priestesses at the temple later this morning, but I admit that I have no idea what I'm _supposed_ to do."

"Don't worry, my lady," Master Terrec said, "When I worked for the late Duke Farnell of Arenaver, I wrote several betrothal documents. You know, he had six daughters and two sons. It should be easy to craft a legally-binding agreement of which the priestesses will approve. Will your betrothal negotiations be simple and direct or complicated and drawn-out?"

Kel blinked. She hadn't known that there was such a distinction. Considering the fact that her relationship with Joren had been complicated from the very start, she told the clerk that their negotiations probably would be quite complicated. After she stated the obvious facts that both she and Joren were knights of the realm and that his family was much wealthier than hers, Master Terrec agreed with her assessment.

"My lady, do you have any supporting documents you'd like to submit as you enter into the negotiations with Lord Joren?" Terrec asked as he positioned his quill to take notes. "The priestesses probably will want to see them as well."

Kel thought for a moment and then nodded. "Yes, I believe I do," she answered as she placed a metal lockbox on the top of her desk.

Once she opened the box, she took out the papers which verified her ownership of Peachblossom and Hoshi, her certificate of knighthood, Tobe's contract of indenture, and the letter from her father which outlined the contents of her small dowry from Fief Mindelan. Kel's heart sank a little as she glanced at the documentation of her worldly possessions. Although it all was priceless to her, she realized that she really didn't own very much.

Terrec looked through all the papers and then peered up at Kel. "My lady, has Lord Joren ever given you any letters or other documents on which you'd like to base your understanding of the verbal agreements already stated between you?"

Kel took a deep breath and then quietly handed the clerk the Joren's new poem. "Lord Joren gave me this poem when he proposed to me last night. Within it I believe you will find the basis of our betrothal. We've known each other for many years and there are certain things which ... which he knows are very important to me."

After he read Joren's poem, Terrec looked at Kel and smiled widely. "My lady, you are most fortunate, indeed. Lord Joren has given you a very strong position from which you'll be able to negotiate favorable terms for yourself. I'm not a lawyer or a priest, but I know strong documentation when I see it. Will you and Lord Joren want me to accompany you when you go to the temple?"

"Yes, that would be a very good idea," said a voice from the doorway. Joren stood there smiling and both Kel and Terrec rose to their feet.

"Lord Joren of Stone Mountain, this is Master Terrec, my head clerk. Master Terrec, Lord Joren." Kel introduced the two men, feeling a bit vexed that Joren had surprised her again.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, my lord," Terrec bowed low and waited for Joren to return his bow. After that, the older man said, "Congratulations on your betrothal to Lady Keladry. I am honored to be able to work on your _official_ betrothal documents. Your poetry is quite nice, sir."

"Thank you, Master Terrec, you are most kind," Joren said as he strolled into Kel's office and glanced at all the papers on her desk, including his poem.

"Then it's settled!" Kel said brightly, "We'll plan to meet you back here sometime after breakfast. Thank you, Master Terrec. You may go now."

"Yes, my lady. Lord Joren, again, it is a pleasure to meet you, sir," Terrec bowed again and left the office.

Joren walked over and stood by Kel's side as she placed all of her papers back into the metal lockbox. Once she was finished, he reached out for the hand on which she wore her engagement ring and brought it to his lips. "Good morning, my lady," he said, "I trust you slept well last night. I know I did."

"I had an adequate rest," she replied, giving him a sidelong glance. "It would have been nicer if you'd been there _in person_ and not just in my dreams."

"Yes, well, we've already discussed that issue and it's _not_ up for negotiation," Joren said, his crooked smile was almost a smirk. "Now, let's get some breakfast. I'm starving. Are you ready?

She sighed and then nodded. Her stomach was not happy that she'd kept it waiting for such a long time. As she gazed into Joren's sky-blue eyes, Kel saw his deep affection for her - but not much passion. Deciding that he probably was still tired after his long journey, Kel led the way out of her office.

Applause and whistles erupted when the couple entered the crowded mess hall and they both blushed at the attention. Adhering to Neal's advice to be more discreet in public, Kel allowed Joren to place his hand on the small of her back as they walked through the noisy room together. It quickly became apparent that most of the people already knew Joren's name because of all the rumors that had circulated through the town so far. Their day was off to a good start and although it took a while to greet everyone, they finally were able to sit down and eat their meal.

* * *

"I understand most of the things you wrote about in your poem, Joren," Kel began as they walked from the mess hall over to the stables to visit their horses after breakfast. "But tell me what you meant by saying 'someday you'll command our men instead'?"

"Oh, _that_," Joren said with a confident smile, "After you're done here, I truly hope you'll agree to command the regular army officers and soldiers who are assigned to the garrison at Stone Mountain."

Kel's mouth dropped open. "What?!" she exclaimed.

"Well, my duties as Lord of Stone Mountain make it difficult to fulfill the role my father and uncle originally had planned for me," Joren explained. "When my father was still alive, he wanted me to stay home and train to be Uncle Langdon's replacement someday. Obviously, now there's a void for that position and it will be a long time before any of my uncle's children will be old enough for consideration."

"I didn't know that your uncle had any children," Kel said, confused by Joren's statement.

"He doesn't have any at this precise moment," Joren replied slyly, "But he'll definitely have one child by next Midwinter."

"What are you talking about, Joren? I don't understand," Kel admitted. "Did your uncle finally marry?"

They entered the stable and Kel walked over to Peachblossom and Hoshi's stalls to give each of them an apple. She also patted her horses and assured them that she and Tobe would be back to take them out for exercise later in the afternoon. Joren visited Shadow Dancer and gave the mare an apple, too.

"Oh, yes!" Joren called back to Kel, "My uncle _and_ my mother are married now." Then the young lord laughed ruefully and said, "A lot of things at Stone Mountain changed while I was away. You and I just haven't had the chance to catch up on all the news. Let's sit over here and have a little chat." He indicated a big pile of fresh straw in the corner of one of the empty stalls.

"Your mother ..." Kel began slowly as she plopped down next to him, "You just said ... wait! You don't mean that they're ... they're married to _each other_, or do you?"

Joren nodded solemnly and quietly added, "It's one of the many other things that we should discuss before we start negotiating our betrothal contract. You need to know what you're getting into when you become my wife, Keladry of Mindelan. It seems that my Uncle Langdon never stopped loving my mother. After I sailed to Yaman, they rekindled their, um ... romance from when they were young."

"Mithros!" was all Kel could say.

Joren continued, "As soon as my mother's official mourning period was over, she appealed to the Head Daughter of the Goddess, as well as to the monarchs, for a royal exception to the policy against a widow marrying her brother-in-law. The king and queen gave their approval, so she and my uncle quietly got married at Dunmoor in March - the way it should have been done over twenty years ago if my father hadn't interfered with their plans. And now they're expecting their first child just before Midwinter."

Kel's eyes grew wide. "A ... a _child_ ... after all these years?

"It's a miracle _and_ it's a mess!" Joren shook his head, "Do you realize that my new half-brother or sister will also be my only Stone Mountain cousin? I haven't had the courage to send Anniseth a letter to explain it all, but I know my time is short. Once the court gossips find out, they're going to _love_ flapping their lips about this."

"I ... I suppose I'm actually happy for Lady Virryn and Sir Langdon." Kel said hesitantly, "From what you told me before, they've waited a long time to find happiness together. How is your mother's health?"

"She's fine, but they're being very careful." Joren admitted. "She's back at Stone Mountain and she won't leave until well after the baby is born. I'm happy for them, too, Kel, but it's all been just a bit too strange for me. That's why I'm glad to be here for a while - with you." Then he drew her closer to him and began to kiss her. She eagerly returned his kisses until they had pressed themselves deep into the straw, entangled in a loving embrace.

"Speaking of strange," Kel said as she rested her head on Joren solid chest, "Won't people think it a bit odd for _me _to command the garrison at Stone Mountain?"

Joren chuckled and said, "Even though you're young - and a female - I think the men would be willing to follow you, especially because you've become so well-known throughout the kingdom, O Protector of the Small." Kel swatted his side with the back of her hand, but he continued as though she hadn't, "Who wouldn't want a famous commander? Of course, as my _wife_, you could command at Stone Mountain for as long as you liked. The king has given me his approval already. Lord Wyldon only asks that you stay under his command until the war with Scanra is really over."

With her ear pressed against his chest, Kel discovered that the deep rumbling of Joren's voice was both soothing and exciting to her. As she lay there, she thought about Lord Wyldon's earlier plans to reassign her to a new location by the end of the year. Then she wondered if Joren's proposition had changed the district commander's mind about moving her out of her current command. She wouldn't mind staying at New Hope for a longer time, but it might be nice to be just another knight, riding patrol along the Scanran border for a while, until she and Joren had their wedding.

"So you've already spoken with both of them?" Kel asked. "And you discussed my maidenhood with the other travelers after Prince Roald's wedding. I must be the last one to know about your visit here and your proposals, _Lord_ Joren." She still felt slightly annoyed him and Neal and Merric, but she snuggled closer to Joren and sighed happily which caused him to sigh, too.

"Another thing I need to speak with you about is Tobe," Joren said as they lay there in the straw. "It's _vitally_ important that we discuss this before we begin our official betrothal negotiations."

"What about Tobe?" Kel asked warily as she stiffened. "He's a good boy."

"Yes, he is," Joren agreed, rubbing her muscled arm soothingly. "I like him very much, but what do you really know about him? Is there anything in his indenture contract that identifies his parents? Do you know if he's truly common-born? And what are your plans for Tobe's future with you ... and with us?"

Taken aback by Joren's many questions, Kel shrugged her free shoulder and answered, "As far as I know, Tobe's as common-born as they come. His papers don't say who his father was, but his mother - I believe her name was Olga - didn't tell anyone her surname before she died. She's just listed as a Scanran, um ... worker. But none of that is important! Tobe is the bravest boy I've ever met. He's smart, he's loyal and Peachblossom loves him. Before I found him, he had an incredibly horrible life with barely a hope for a decent future."

"I know," Joren sighed. "We stayed at the same inn in Queensgrace on our way north and I met that piece-of-trash innkeeper, Alvik. We had to hold down Merric and Squire Owen to keep them from ripping the ignorant fool's head off after he insulted the lad's bravery."

Kel made a rude noise and added, "Tobe's former master didn't even realize that the boy has horse magic. What a terrible shame! I truly hope to place Tobe in a good apprenticeship at the palace, perhaps in the royal stables with Stefan Groomsman, but not until his indentured service to me expires. Until then, he stays with me. I won't sell his contract, Joren. He ... he's almost like my own son."

Joren pulled Kel close to him so that he could whisper in her ear, "What if ... what if Tobe truly became your son - our son? What if _I_ adopted him and gave him the Stone Mountain name? I wouldn't be able to make him my official heir, but he'd have a permanent home and a solid future."

"What the--? How can you even ask such a thing?" Kel pushed away from him and propped herself up on one elbow, "I'll have you know that there are people who've tried to slander us by starting nasty rumors that Tobe is actually _our_ love-child. It's completely ridiculous! Such rumors might become worse if we adopt Tobe as our own. And do you honestly think your family will accept such an idea?"

"They will when they see him," Joren said gravely. "Trust me, they'll have no choice." Then he sat up and quickly told Kel about his conversation with Tobe and the stories of the two young women named Olga. Kel's mouth dropped open as Joren explained why he believed that Tobe's mother was the same person as the missing scullery maid named Olga.

"Mithros save us!" Kel exclaimed and then she lowered her voice again, "How are you ever going to prove that?"

Joren shook his head and laughed bitterly, "I don't know if it's possible to prove something like this, Kel. It's just a cruel reality; one more piece of my father's sordid legacy and you, of all people, had the lovely misfortune to stumble across it. I just _know_ Tobe is my father's son. A bastard, certainly, but Burchard's seed nonetheless. It's written all over his face."

Kel put her arm around Joren's shoulders and stared into his eyes, saddened by the anguish she saw in their blue depths. There had been so much pain and bitterness between Joren and Lord Burchard and now the agony was continuing in a new and unexpected way. All she could do was hold him in her arms in a comforting embrace and then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flash of blond hair beyond the stall.

"Joren, please tell me that you haven't spoken of this to Tobe, yet," Kel asked quietly as she released him. "I love Tobe and I won't allow you or anyone else to harm him. You said that the two of you had a 'pleasant little chat' yesterday. Was _this_ part of it?"

"No, I wanted to talk to you first," Joren admitted as he reached for her hands and held them in his. "But I didn't want us to have this discussion in front of your clerk or the priestesses. They _might_ be trustworthy, but there are some secrets that we shouldn't reveal to anyone outside of our family. I'm almost afraid to tell my poor mother; she's been through so much already and she really shouldn't be upset right now."

"Is she not feeling well?" Kel asked. "I thought you said that everything was fine."

"My mother _is_ fine, so far. And now that I've given this some thought, I realize that I won't have to say anything at all to her, Kel," Joren shrugged, "The minute she gets a good look at Tobe, she'll _see_ the proof of his sire for herself."

"Well, it'll be quite a while before Tobe and I are able to travel to Stone Mountain, Joren," Kel said. "Will you at least warn her about this? Some of us women don't like visitors to arrive unannounced and surprise us, remember?"

"I _said_ I was sorry about that yesterday," Joren groaned, released Kel's hands and flopped back down on the straw. "You just don't understand what I'm talking about because you haven't been inside of my family's castle, yet. On the walls of every hallway there are many, many portraits of several generations of Stone Mountain families, particularly the children. The portrait of my father at the age of ten looks _exactly_ like Tobe does today. You haven't met my half-sister, Anniseth, either, but I assure you, Tobe also looks a lot like her and she definitely takes after my father. Again, I know I'll never be able to prove anything, but once my mother and uncle see the boy, they'll know he belongs to our twisted little family, too."

Dumbfounded, Kel sat next to Joren and stared out at nothing. She'd never heard anything so far-fetched in her life. If Joren was correct, then Tobe might well be his half-brother, albeit from an illicit relationship. If so, then perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea for them to adopt the boy after they were married, especially since it would give him the name he probably should have had from the start.

Thoughts about Tobe's potential futures flooded Kel's mind. She'd already been teaching him proper grammar and reading and writing, as well as formal manners and even some squire skills. With his unverifiable bloodlines, Tobe might not ever be able to become a knight, but maybe he'd be able to join the Queen's Riders or even the King's Own.

"Joren, there's so much I don't understand about the House of Stone Mountain," Kel said, "But if you truly believe that your mother and uncle will welcome Tobe into the family - and not just tolerate his existence - then perhaps it will work."

Sitting up again, Joren looked into Kel's eyes and asked, "Are you _sure_ you want to marry into such a family? Really, Kel, think about it. Since Tobe exists, there's no telling how many illegitimate half-siblings I might have in this world."

"Do you honestly think that there are others?" Kel asked.

"You remember my father," Joren practically sneered. "I already plan to ask the Lord Magistrate to question Lord Burchard's former stewards for any relevant information they may still possess. I have a feeling it won't be pretty. That's why I thought it might be a good idea for me to adopt Tobe first, as part of our betrothal agreement. Then no matter who wags their tongues, he'll be able to hold his head up high. You said it yourself, he's a great boy."

Suddenly, Kel stood up and began to brush away the pieces of straw that were stuck to her clothes and stepped out of the stall. Then she said, "Let's ask _him_ what he wants to do," Kel said. "He should take part in this decision. And I'm sure he already knows more than you think he does. Tobe! Are you still in here? I know I saw you a while ago. Please come out. We won't be upset with you - I promise."

Slowly, a blond head poked out from one of the other empty stalls. "Is it true?" Tobe asked Kel. "Am I really Lord Joren's kin?"

"We think so, Tobe, but we may never know for sure." Kel reached out her hand toward the boy and he walked over to her, careful to stay away from Joren who had gotten up and was brushing away straw, also. Sighing heavily, she looked into Tobe's blue eyes and continued, "Lord Joren's father died a few years ago and your mama's been dead a long time. No one can tell us what happened ten years ago and we can't prove anything today, but I trust Joren's reasons for believing that his father probably is your father, too."

"He said he wanted to adopt me," Tobe stated in a small voice, "How can Lord Joren adopt me if I'm already his kin?"

"Well, as Lady Kel said, I can't _prove_ that you're my half-brother," Joren stepped forward to explain, "But I can give you my family name and protect you and provide a good future for you. Would you like to become our adopted son, Tobe?"

The blond boy hesitated and then asked, "Can I ... er, _may_ I still work with th' horses and all?"

Joren glanced at Kel and then held Tobe's gaze before he answered, "Lady Keladry and I know a man who raises destriers, or warhorses. He's a famous knight, and a lord, and he trained both of us when we were pages. In fact, my mare, Shadow Dancer, came from his stables. His name is Lord Wyldon of Cavall and I'll bet he could help us figure out just the right training and education for you to become a Stone Mountain _and_ keep working with horses."

"I know Lord Wyldon!" Tobe exclaimed, "He's Lady Kel's commander! She was 'fraid of what he'd do t' her after she came back from killin' Blayce and stoppin' his devices, but he was nice enough t' let her build New Hope. I was 'fraid of Lord Wyldon, too, but th' horses really like him, so I decided he was alright. Sir Neal calls him the Stump, but not to his face."

"Yes, well, don't you call him by that name at all," Kel ordered, then her voice softened, "Listen, Tobe, you don't have to decide right away. I'm sure that we can phrase our betrothal agreement in such a way that allows us a bit of time before your fate with us is sealed."

Tobe walked over and stood next to Peachblossom, stroking the gelding's velvety nose and thinking about his future. While they waited for him to say something, Joren gently caressed Kel's hands, tracing each of the scars left by the griffin. Kel's insides felt warm and tingly but she knew that she'd have to be patient. It just wasn't fair that Joren seemed to be so calm around her when all she wanted was to was drag him back into the pile of straw and force him to do all the things he kept refusing to do.

"Can I be," Tobe finally spoke up and quickly corrected himself again, "_May_ I be your adopted _brother _instead of your adopted son? A lot of people say mean things about my lady when they think no one like me is listenin'. An' I already heard lots of mean things about my real ma when I was back in Queensgrace. I don't want folks sayin' those same kinds of things about Lady Kel. Besides, I don't think I can call you 'Ma' and 'Da' anyway. That just don't seem right - you bein' so young and all."

Joren squeezed Kel's hand to keep her from correcting the boy's grammar and said, "What a brilliant idea, Tobe! I'll have to ask a magistrate if it's possible to do such a thing, but I never would have thought of it. If I _am_ your half-brother, then adopting you into my family as my brother really makes better sense than trying to make you my son; especially since I do believe that we share the same sire. Does this mean that you want to belong to Stone Mountain as a member of the family?"

Tobe nodded and Joren extended his hand to seal their agreement. The boy grasped the young lord's fingers with one of his small hands and then he reached out for one of Kel's hands with the other. Bringing them all together, he solemnly pumped them up and down three times. Afterward Kel tousled the boy's hair and sent him off to chat with the horses again. Only then did Joren see her quickly swipe at a bit of moisture from the corner of her eye.

* * *

"I apologize for keeping you waiting, Master Terrec," Kel said to the man who sat in a chair outside her office door as she and Joren briskly walked into the headquarters building. "We went to see our horses and some other matters of considerable importance came up. I'm afraid we lost track of time."

The cheerful clerk stood up and his face had a crooked grin as he said, "My late wife has been gone for five years now, but I still remember how time just seemed to slip away whenever we were together."

Noticing that she and Joren still had stray pieces of straw stuck to their clothes, Kel blushed at the clerk's insinuation. Then she opened her office and ushered Joren and Terrec inside. Once they all were seated, the clerk asked if Joren had brought any supporting documents with him. The lady knight was surprised when the young lord pulled a thin packet of papers from out of the back of his shirt and handed them to the clerk. After what seemed like an hour of watching the man read through everything, shuffling the papers over and over again, the couple was relieved when he finished writing his notes, looked up at them and smiled.

"Alright, Lord Joren and Lady Keladry, let's go to the temple," declared Master Terrec. And after he gathered all the papers, as well as a fresh piece of parchment on which to write actual betrothal agreement, they all left the building and walked through the town to the small wooden building which served as the town's temple.

Ever since she'd heard that Joren had returned from the Yamani Islands, Kel actually had been looking forward to convincing him that the Goddess probably wouldn't mind if they didn't offer the elaborate wedding night sacrifice he'd mentioned to her before. After all, the river and the lands of Mindelan were very productive and the people who lived on her family's fief had never gone hungry, even in the toughest of times. And Stone Mountain certainly could afford to buy whatever produce it needed if its crops didn't fare well. All such thoughts of dissuading Joren evaporated when she saw the joyful anticipation in the priestesses' eyes.

Priestess Osa gushed, "Lord Joren, we are so honored to preside over your betrothal negotiations and ceremony! And it's so exciting to hear that you and Lady Keladry will be offering the wedding sacrifice! What an honor, indeed!"

"Oh, yes!" Priestess Kafnani said, tapping her fingertips together, "It's one of the greatest gifts a couple may give to the people of their lands. Such an honor! Our people here used to make such offerings - when times were safer, of course. Perhaps they will do so again after those savage Scanrans stop attacking our villages. One of your families is going to be _extremely_ blessed. Are you planning to have your wedding ceremony at Fief Mindelan or Stone Mountain?"

"Stone Mountain," said Kel at the same time that Joren said, "Mindelan, of course."

Both priestesses and Master Terrec raised their eyebrows at the couple's responses. Kel and Joren just stared at each other. The negotiations had been going smoothly until that point. Joren formally accepted Kel's dowry and Kel formally accepted Joren's request to adopt Tobe. They intentionally kept the language of the betrothal document a bit vague, but the priestesses didn't seem to notice. In fact, since the lady knight's command responsibilities prevented them from setting an exact date for their wedding, they had agreed to have it as soon as Kel was released from her duties.

"Lord Joren," Kel began, addressing him formally since this was an official negotiation session, "It truly doesn't matter to me whether we marry at your home fief or mine. Obviously, our wedding sacrifice would be welcome at either location. However; I am very concerned about your mother's ... um, health. Wouldn't it be most considerate to have the ceremony at Stone Mountain and not require her to travel, especially given the circumstances of her current condition?"

Shaking his head, Joren replied, "Absolutely not, Lady Keladry. My mother has forbidden our wedding to take place at Stone Mountain. Lady Virryn has cause to believe that there will be a curse upon anyone who marries there. Besides, Mindelan is only a long day's ride from here. Won't it be easier to plan a wedding nearby, especially since there have been so many weddings there before? Honestly, my family won't mind traveling to Mindelan. After all, isn't that what _your_ family will expect?"

"Lord Joren, my family has _never_ known what to expect from me; I've always been a mystery to them," Kel joked. "They probably wouldn't be surprised if I decided to have my wedding here at New Hope."

Joren blinked. He suddenly remembered what the king said about choosing carefully the location for offering their wedding sacrifice to the Goddess. He thought about the poor farmland outside of the fortified town's walls. If the land here was richer, the people could grow more crops and have a better harvest, a better life. Truthfully, neither Mindelan nor Stone Mountain needed Kel's blood; however, New Hope definitely could use a bit more of the Goddess' blessings. And what better way to foster good feelings among the townsfolk than to have their commander's wedding right here?

Noticing the odd expression on Joren's face, Kel wondered what had brought it about. Then she glanced at the priestesses; the two older women were almost bouncing in their chairs. It took her a moment to realize that it was her flippant comment that had caused such a reaction. Could she and Joren have their wedding at New Hope? Of course they could! After all, Lord Raoul and Buri were going to have their wedding ceremony at Fort Steadfast. Neal and Yuki were getting married there, too. Kel returned the priestesses' grins and they all began to make new plans.

Later that day, Kel called an assembly of all the townsfolk and announced to them that she and Lord Joren had completed their betrothal negotiations and written the official betrothal contract. Much to Neal's satisfaction, there would be an official ceremony in front of the temple of the Goddess the following afternoon. Much to everyone else's surprise, the commander also announced that there would be a feast the following evening to celebrate the happy occasion.

Most the townsfolk cheered when they heard their commander's cheerful announcement. Not everyone seemed happy, though. When Kel saw the worried looks on her cooks' faces she knew that they were concerned about the food supply. Even though they'd recently received a shipment of dry goods from Fort Mastiff, New Hope didn't have a surplus of food with which to prepare such a celebratory meal.

Once the excited crowd dispersed, Kel sent Tobe to the barracks with Joren and they and a group of soldiers made a special delivery to the cookhouse. In anticipation of Kel's accepting his proposal, Joren had brought with him crates of special food and wine. The cooks' eyes widened when they saw the sacks of rice, lentils, dried fruits, herbs and spices, as well as a barrel of dried, salted venison with which they could prepare somewhat of a proper betrothal feast. There was enough fine flour and sugar for them to bake a special cake, too. Mistress Fanche nodded her head in approval when she saw everything.

Taking Kel aside, the headwoman told her, "That's a good man you got there, for all he's a lord and such. How'd you end up with him, my lady?"

Kel chuckled and replied, "It's a long story, Mistress Fanche. Let's wait till the snows come and we've nothing better to do than sit near the fires and tell tales. For now, I'll just say that Lord Joren and I have been enemies and we've been friends, but our friendship has lasted a lot longer than the bruises from our fights. Now, tell me about the harvest schedule."

* * *

The following day was hot again, but the skies were clear. The whole town of New Hope was buzzing in anticipation of the upcoming afternoon and evening's events. There was an additional flurry of activity in the middle of the morning when the guards spotted a moving cloud of the road dust of riders approaching from the north. Everyone was able to relax when they realized that the group was friendly. Only Kel became nervous when she saw who the visitors were.

"It's been a quiet week, with very little activity from the Scanrans," Lord Wyldon stated in his usual clipped manner, after he dismounted from his horse and handed the reins to his jovial squire, Owen of Jesslaw. "When I received Sir Nealan's messenger bird yesterday evening, I thought it was only fitting that I take the time to come out and attend the betrothal ceremony of one of my subordinate commanders. There's no telling what the circumstances will be when you actually get married, so I'll enjoy this special occasion with you now. Lord Joren, it's good to see you. Lady Keladry, I trust that all is in order here." His smile was genuine as he accepted and returned Kel and the other knights' salutes.

Another rider dismounted and said, "And I was just passing through Fort Mastiff yesterday, on my way to Mindelan, when Lord Wyldon received that informative message. I'll have to speak with our parents about your secretive ways, little sister. They really spoiled you when they took you away to the Yamani Islands and you learned all those bad habits about not saying anything."

"Inness!" Kel exclaimed as her older brother stepped forward to give her a big hug. "I can't believe you're here! Is everything alright back home?"

"Everything's fine," Inness assured her, "In fact, my oldest son, Daverel, will become a page this autumn and I'm on my way to escort him to the palace. He's so excited that it's finally his turn. Dav's also hoping that Anders' boy, Lachran, will agree to be his page-sponsor."

"Dav can't possibly be old enough to begin page training already," Kel stated. "He was just a little tyke the last time I saw him!"

"I find it hard to believe, too," Inness said. "But it's true. All of the younglings are growing up fast, Kel, including you. I remember when _you_ were just a little tyke. Now, look at you - you're a commander, as well as a hero of the realm, and it seems as though you've decided to get married, too. Blast it all! _Your_ antics are making me feel old, but they're not the only ones. Did you know that Demadina's oldest daughter will be presented at court this year? And Anders' daughter plans to follow in _your_ footsteps as soon as she's old enough to become a page."

"No! Really?" Kel asked, amazed. "I thought Anders' wife was strongly opposed to such a thing. How did he convince her?"

Inness smiled slyly, "Well, he hasn't yet, but rumor has it that _three_ girls have applied to become pages this year, so Anders thinks he has a better chance of convincing Vorinna to allow their daughter go to the palace since other girls will be there, too. I thought he would've written to you about it by now."

"Oh, he's probably still waiting for me to respond to his last letter," Kel looked sheepish as she admitted, "I haven't been doing a very good job of keeping up with my personal correspondence lately."

Lord Wyldon cleared his throat, which put an end to the brief sibling reunion. Red-faced, Kel turned away from her brother and began to make all the introductions. Inness regarded Joren a bit coolly, but clasped forearms with him after the tiniest bit of hesitation. Although the youngest Mindelan sibling, Avinar, had informed his older brothers that he actually liked Lord Joren, neither Anders, nor Inness, nor Conal were happy about the man publicly kissing their youngest sister after her Ordeal. Only Baron Piers' advanced warning of Kel's highly probable future with the young lord of Stone Mountain kept the brothers from seeking him out and threatening bodily harm.

Once Squire Owen and his cousin, Warric of Mandash, who was now Inness' squire, had stabled and cared for the horses, Kel took everyone on a tour of New Hope. Lord Wyldon was satisfied by the progress the townsfolk had made since his last visit. All of their hastily-built structures now seemed to be ready to withstand the winter snows. It was apparent that even though they lacked variety, the crops which were ready for harvesting would last through the winter. The district commander was glad to see that most of the refugees were making the best of their current situation.

Wyldon surprised Kel with his compliment, "You've done a fine job here, Lady Knight. Keep up the good work!"

"Thank you, sir," Kel accepted the public praise gracefully, "The townsfolk really have pulled together these past few months. After the harvest is in, I think we'll all be ready for a well-deserved rest. And since the Scanrans usually don't attack once the snows come, we hope to have a peaceful winter."

"Yes, let's all hope that Lady Winter treats us gently once her snows hem us in, but I'm glad to see that New Hope will be prepared for the worst," Wyldon replied. "Don't slack off on your training, though. Your people need to stay sharp."

After the tour, Kel summoned Mistress Carter and instructed the housekeeping staff to open all of the guest rooms for their visitors. Since the betrothal celebration promised to last well into the night, Lord Wyldon and his entourage would stay at New Hope overnight and return to Fort Mastiff in the morning. Inness and Squire Warric, would then continue on their way to Mindelan. Now Kel felt extremely relieved that Joren had decided to stay in the barracks; she sensed that her brother only tolerated the young lord for her sake.

During their light midday meal, Mistress Fanche requested a moment of Kel's time. She insisted that the lady knight accompany her to her office in the headquarters building to discuss a matter of great importance and sensitivity. When Kel excused herself from the table, she noticed that Neal and Merric exchanged a quick glance. Her suspicions of 'treachery' were confirmed when the bossy headwoman didn't stop at Kel's office, but marched her up to her private rooms where she turned the lady knight over to the care of a few of the townswomen.

When Kel tried to protest, one of the women informed her that they had no intention of allowing their lady commander to attend her betrothal ceremony dressed as a man. They had prepared a warm, scented bath for her and someone had taken the time to press the wrinkles out of her gowns. The smiling women declared that the future bride would present herself before the Goddess' temple - and her man - as a _lady_.

"But I wasn't planning to wear a tunic and breeches!" Kel proclaimed, vowing silently to repay Neal and Merric for one surprise too many. "As you already discovered, I had hung up my gowns to let them air out."

"Pardon us, but until today," said, Korva, the blacksmith's wife, "We din't know ye owned any dresses, my lady."

"Believe me, Lady Kel," replied Leah, a dimpled young woman who was the wife of one of the cooks, "We was glad t' see that ye had such pretty dresses of yer own. If ye hadn't, some'un woulda altered a dress fer ye, but it wouldna been near so fine. I like th' gray one fer t'day - it's nice an' light an' it really shows off the needle skills of whoever makes yer clothes."

Kel smiled in agreement as she glanced over her shoulder at the light gray, summer gown with cream-colored sleeves and petticoats. Lalasa had embroidered its collar and hems with thread in the same color blue as that which was on the lady knight's shield. The talented seamstress truly knew how to design clothes which would flatter her former mistress. Sighing in resignation, Kel began to undress.

"My lady, I know you said you was from the north an' all, but we ain't as fancy about our marriages in these parts," Fanche said as she stood by the screen which shielded Kel's bath from view, "Most times, us common folk get handfasted at th' betrothal ceremony an' that's that. Weddings an' such is fer them with lots more coin t' waste. Only you nobles, with yer negotiations an' contracts an' all, take such a blasted long time t' get married. Goddess knows you could do it without all th' bother. Wed 'em an' bed 'em an' be done with it - that's what I say!"

All the women laughed, even Kel. She secretly agreed that the nobility sometimes made too much of a fuss about their betrothal and wedding ceremonies. Life would be so much simpler if she and Joren were able to do what the commoners did. Just the thought that they _could_ be truly married this afternoon - that is, if they weren't a lord and a lady knight - brought a full blush to Kel's entire body. She was glad to slip into the bath water before anyone noticed her color.

Meanwhile, since Neal and Merric already knew what was going to happen to Kel, they took the opportunity to engage Lord Wyldon and the others in lively discussions of all manner of topics, as well as a good number of entertaining stories. In the midst of all the noise, Tobe tapped Joren on the shoulder and bid him to follow him back to the barracks. There, the boy had arranged for the young lord to have his own bath, as well as the opportunity to prepare himself for the betrothal ceremony.

As soon as the late summer sun dipped low in the sky behind the higher hilltops, the townsfolk began to gather - the women outside the headquarters building and the men outside the barracks. Following the advice of Master Terrec, both Kel and Joren had agreed to abide by the local customs concerning betrothal ceremonies. The women crowded around Kel and waved their scarves in the air to shield her from view as they led her to the temple of the Goddess. Afterward, the men noisily escorted Joren to the temple where the priestesses would read the betrothal announcement and perform the official ceremony.

Of course, Lord Wyldon and the other noblemen all had seen Kel dressed in nice gowns before, but many of the townsfolk were shocked to see their commander wearing the outfit of a true noble lady. Still, it seemed like an eternity for Joren to walk through the town and gaze upon his lady knight wearing her finest clothes and the simple white veil of a maiden. His eyes widened in admiration when he spotted her waiting for him at the temple steps. Kel was similarly impressed with Joren's formal attire of a sky-blue satin tunic over a white shirt and white hose. He looked dazzling to her and everyone else.

The ceremony was short and simple. The priestesses announced the intentions of Lord Joren of Stone Mountain and Lady Keladry of Mindelan to marry as soon as their circumstances would allow. Then, while the lord and lady knight signed their names on the bottom of their betrothal agreement, the two elderly women prayed for the Goddess' blessings upon all the people as witnesses to the betrothal. After their signatures were dry, Kel and Joren faced the crowd and exchanged promises that they would be faithful to their contract. Both of them also exchanged nervous glances as they reached the final part of the ceremony - the handfasting.

It was at this point in such a ceremony that most commoners exchanged rings and considered themselves married. After a handfasting, only the failure to produce a child or evidence of ineligibility for legal marriage could bring about the dissolution of a couple's bonds. And as Fanche has stated to Kel, only the wealthy or the nobles were concerned with returning to the temple for an actual wedding ceremony. Everyone knew that the young lord and his lady knight would be required by the customs of the nobility to wait until their fancy wedding to exchange rings and consummate their marriage; however, most of the townsfolk would consider their commander to be a wedded woman from that day forward.

Remembering her cousin Tressa's elopement, Kel shivered as the more senior Daughter of the Goddess, Priestess Osa took the blue satin ribbon from around her neck. Joren felt Kel trembling when he reached out to clasp both of her hands in his and discovered that he was shaking, too. Even though his mother and her brother had described the handfasting custom to him, he'd never seen it for himself, so he felt anxious about what was going to happen next. Both priestesses then bound the couple's hands tightly with an elaborate knot. After singing the traditional song of praise to the Great Goddess, everyone watched in awe as the betrothal ribbon dissolved into Kel and Joren's skin, sealing them together in the ancient rite.

At first, neither Kel nor Joren could believe what they were seeing or feeling. When the song ended, a surge of warmth radiated from the blue material and the sensation felt like someone had placed hairbrushes against their hands and pressed the bristles into their skin. The ribbon seemed to melt into their flesh, but afterward, their hands appeared to be unchanged. The _real_ change was in how the now-officially-betrothed couple felt toward each other.

The overwhelming affection that Kel and Joren now shared wasn't merely passion; it was a much deeper sense of belonging with and to each other. Joren understood that if he had 'marked' Kel, she would have felt like this toward him already, but he was extremely glad that he hadn't done that to her. The knowledge that they both were experiencing such a strong feeling of being bonded together at the same time made it all the more special for him. It was a great relief to Joren when he realized that he'd never desire other women the way his father had. Kel was the only woman he would ever want or need and he let her know that as he leaned in to kiss her gently on the lips.

A great cheer erupted from the assembled crowd, preempting the couple's kiss with a loud and boisterous show of support. Everyone - Tobe, Neal, Lord Wyldon, Inness, Fanche, Merric and Owen, as well as all the people closest to the temple stairs - pressed forward to congratulate Kel and Joren on their betrothal. A few of the townsfolk started to sing other traditional songs, and soon the air was filled with loud voices, as well as hand-clapping and foot-stomping, all the way to the mess hall.

The betrothal feast was a festive affair and the mess hall was decorated with wildflowers and boughs of fresh greenery from the nearby fields and forests. The cooks and kitchen workers had used the food supplies that Joren had provided, as well as the usual daily rations for supper, and turned it all into the kind of meal the townsfolk hadn't eaten in a very long time. Although it took a while to serve all of the people, everyone was impressed by the extravagant dishes - strips of salted venison stewed in onion gravy, pork with dried plum sauce, herbed rice with peas, stewed lentils with chopped carrots, and even the ever-present roasted potatoes. There was just enough of the good Dunmoor wine for everyone to offer a few toasts the betrothed couple, too.

The cooks beamed from all the praise they received, especially for the beautifully decorated cakes they presented at the end of the feast. Kel and Joren and the other noblemen lingered after most of the townsfolk drifted back to their living areas to continue celebrating with dancing and more drinking. Kel knew that the guards would have a bit more to handle this evening than normal, but Merric had warned them well ahead of time. The assorted friends told stories about their adventures until the watch called out the midnight hour and then they also drifted back to their lodgings.

* * *

Joren walked along the wall of the town with Kel as she delivered pieces of cake to night watch. Afterward, he stopped at the door to the headquarters building, pulled her close to him and kissed her long and hard. Unfortunately, saying goodnight to his betrothed was more difficult than he had anticipated.

"Joren, _please_ - just think about it," Kel whispered, continuing the quiet argument they'd been having all night. "I've missed you so much! After all of our visitors leave, I want you to stay with me - just _hold_ me for a while - like that one night we spent together."

"No, my love," Joren shook his head and whispered back, "We've done a good thing here today and your brother and your friends have finally stopped glaring at me. You know how people gossip. I'll not sully your reputation - or mine."

"Blast it all!" Kel softly swore, "We're betrothed now, Joren. _Lots_ of betrothed couples sleep together until their wedding. Even our _parents_ enjoyed each other's beds before they were married! Of course, my mother was more careful than yours, but I promise you that I'll always wear a charm. All of the townsfolk already view us as a married couple, anyway, so no one here will care what we do. Why are you being so difficult?"

Joren shook his head in amazement. The absurdity of their situation almost made him laugh. What other man, he thought, was ever forced to turn down such an invitation? Thankful for the Bazhir tea he'd drunk earlier, the young lord backed the lady knight against the wall of the building and placed his index finger across her lips to quiet her. His eyes never broke contact with hers and he could see the hopeful expression on her face in the torchlight.

'It seems that we must make an immediate amendment of our negotiations, _Lady_ Keladry," Joren said cautiously, "Yes, we are betrothed and, yes, I'd love to share your bed, but you _know_ why I can't do such a thing. O my love, I truly desire you more than anything in the world. You've made me the happiest man in the world today; however, I beg of you, stop inviting me to claim you before our wedding night. Even _with_ the special Bazhir tea I've been drinking, I'm barely controlling myself as it is. Have some consideration for me, please."

"Then we'd better negotiate some consideration for _me_," Kel whispered furiously, desperation straining her voice. "We're really tied together now, Joren, and ... and I don't know if I can bear not to have you in my bed much longer, but _you_ seem to be unaffected by the handfasting. _You've_ been drinking that blasted tea all along and that's the only reason _you_ can't feel the ... the craziness right now. How is that fair, my love? Did you ever think of offering some of your special tea to _me_ so that I'd be able to bear your touches and your kisses without going insane?"

Joren blinked. How could he have been so daft? If Kel felt the same way about him as he did about her - and he knew that she did - then why hadn't he thought of the possibility that her passions were driving her crazy, too? Hadn't Tobe confirmed that she'd been having dreams about him for several months? Of course he should give her some of the Bazhir tea. Now that Joren thought about it, he realized that Kel must need it just as much as he did.

"Stay over here," Joren quietly ordered her. "I'll bring you a packet of the tea right away. Gods, Kel, I wish we'd have thought of this sooner! I truly apologize for causing you such ... um, _distress_."

Kel nodded. "I'll be in my office, putting a kettle of water on to boil. Are you sure it will work for me?"

Shrugging, he answered, "I have no idea, but don't you think it's worth a try? This might be the only way for both of us to preserve our mutual sanity, as well as your virtue, Kel. Hopefully, you'll feel much calmer after you've had a cup or two. And I'm sure my supply of the tea is large enough for both of us to stay in control until our wedding night." Then he quickly walked toward the barracks.

* * *

On the second floor of the headquarters building, two men in two different guest rooms lay in their beds in the darkness. Their windows had been open to let in the cool night air and they'd heard every whispered word of Kel and Joren's conversation. It took Inness of Mindelan a long time to go to sleep as he tried to recover from the shock of hearing his not-so-little sister pleading for her betrothed to share her bed long before their wedding night. If he hadn't heard it for himself, he never would have believed that the man was capable of such an honorable refusal or of offering such a considerate solution to his sister's 'affliction.' Perhaps young Avinar had the right impression of the young lord after all.

Wyldon of Cavall merely smiled to himself before he rolled over and closed his eyes. Although the older knight also was a bit shocked to hear Kel beg for Joren's intimate company, he was pleased to know that the lady knight definitely had some passionate blood running through her veins. The former training master was especially pleased to hear Joren's refusal, as well as the solution he offered to his amorous betrothed. Clearly the young lord was _not _following in his lecherous father's footsteps anymore. Perhaps, Wyldon thought as he drifted off to sleep, his former charges would be good together after all.

* * *

**A/N: I did a lot of research on betrothals and handfasting, both medieval and modern, to create the mishmash of customs I wrote into my story here. I know I could have added more dialogue between the characters, especially once Owen arrived with Lord Wyldon, but I just couldn't bear to stuff anything else into this long chapter. ;D Anyway, I hope you're as happy with it as I am. Again, I appreciate your patience. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks! :D**


	68. No More Tea

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I'm glad that so many of you really like the length of the previous chapter, as well as the humor and that last segment with Inness and Lord Wyldon. This huge 'filler' chapter begins at the end of the time frame covered in Lady Knight - September 460/461 H.E. and then charges deeply into uncharted territory. Again, for the purpose of my story, it's really 461 H.E. because of the 'lost' year. ;P Obviously, there's more character development, but I included a little bit of fluff, too. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Kel swung herself into Hoshi's saddle, taking one last look around her.... The sight of cart after cart bringing their hard-earned harvest to the storage barns filled her with profound satisfaction. Not for the first time, she blessed Lord Raoul for waiting until the crops were in before he set his wedding date. She wouldn't have been able to enjoy herself at Steadfast if her people had still been in the fields. With the crops taken care of, she could feast with a carefree heart._

_"Stop fussing," Fanche commented. She stood near Kel, hands on hips, her dark eyes amused as she looked up at the younger woman. "You'll be away for a week - if we can't manage for that long, what good are we?"_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Lady Knight_

* * *

**No More Tea**

Lady Alanna of Olau and Pirate's Swoop slept restlessly. Her husband, Baron George Cooper, the former Rogue and current Whisper Man, asked the grumpy redhead what was wrong when her tossing and turning woke him up, even though he already knew the answer. His wife had not been very pleased to hear the news that Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan was now betrothed to Lord Joren of Stone Mountain - and with a handfasting ceremony, no less! In fact, Alanna had hoped that once Kel experienced the power she wielded as a commander, the younger knight wouldn't want to be tied down by marriage to the man who'd been courting her for so many years.

Instead of answering George's question, Alanna merely grumbled incoherently and pulled the covers tighter around her body, ignoring his smug chuckling. As soon as she had finished reading the latest letter from her former squire, the Lioness had stormed around the castle at Pirate's Swoop for the rest of the afternoon and at the supper table. Later that night, when Alanna opened her eyes and saw the shimmering light against her bedroom wall, she realized that she had a divine visitor.

Slipping out from beneath her covers, the short lady knight bowed down to the Goddess and said, "To what do I owe the honor of your presence, Great Lady?"

The Goddess waved her hand and spoke as softly as she could, knowing that her voice truly irritated her purple-eyed vassal's ears. "I understand that you are most displeased with my choice of mates for young Keladry of Mindelan."

Raising her head to look into the Goddess' glowing eyes, Alanna cleared her throat and asked, "Did you say _your_ choice, my Lady? As in, you actually _chose_ that pompous, over-bred, pretty boy to be the one to marry the only other lady knight in this realm?"

"Indeed. I most certainly did say that," replied the Goddess. "The 'pretty boy' is pledged to me now. Although his mother's ancestors have always worshipped me, he is a recent and devoted convert. In fact, I actually fought with my brother over this pair of warriors and we ended up trading their alliances. Now the female belongs to Mithros and the male belongs to me. You know I how much I enjoy the beautiful treasures of the Mortal Realm - and there's no denying that Joren of Stone Mountain is a true beauty."

Alanna barely prevented herself from making a rude noise before she said, "But we've invested so much training into Keladry of Mindelan and she's as good as - no, she's _better_ than - ten beautiful men. We can't afford for her to go off and get married at this point. I just know that accursed lordling of hers will take her back to his castle and keep her there until she bears him a son, but we need her sword and shield on the battlefield. In case you hadn't noticed, we _mortals_ are fighting a war down here."

"Don't be impertinent, my daughter," the Goddess reprimanded. "Of course I know you're at war with your bellicose neighbors. Nevertheless, I have decided that Keladry of Mindelan and Joren of Stone Mountain will be very good for each other - and their union _will _benefit your king's realm, especially the females within it. You'll see."

"But, why _now_, Great Lady?" Alanna asked. "You allotted me a long time to be on my own and discover who I wanted to be before ... before I married George."

The Goddess smiled benevolently at the redheaded lady knight and said, "No, my daughter, you _took_ a long time to discover who you wanted to be and in which direction you wanted to go. The young lady warrior knows all of that already; in fact, she learned to love _much_ quicker than you did. She made her decision a long time ago."

Alanna scowled and said, "It's just not fair! I've waited _forever_ for there to be another lady knight with whom I could train and work side-by-side. Instead, that stiff-rump, Wyldon, put Kel in charge of refugee camps when _I _needed her on the front lines of battle with me - where she belongs!"

"I see you still have some work to do when it comes to trusting the plans and goals of other mortals and not judging others by your own standards and thoughts," the Goddess said as she arched an eyebrow at her disgruntled vassal.

"I _know_ what will happen once Keladry becomes a married lady," Alanna's tone of voice became bitter and sarcastic as she said, "If she's anything like her lovely mother, she'll be pregnant within a month of her wedding and then she'll keep having children until she's old and gray!" .

"I was not aware that you had become a prophetess, my daughter," the Goddess said dryly. "Remember,_ I_ am able to open or close a womb according to my will."

Inspired by the Goddess' remark, Alanna asked slyly, "Then why don't you just close Keladry's womb until _after_ this blasted war is over? Let Stone Mountain wait for an heir until after she's had a chance to serve under _my_ command. Wyldon hinted that he might be willing to assign Kel to me next year."

"My plans are not the same as your desires, but I will consider your request," replied the Goddess. "Now, I've had quite enough of your grumbling! Regardless of your approval of the situation, Keladry of Mindelan _will _marry Joren of Stone Mountain at the next celebration of Beltane. I can't promise you much time with her after that, but as the only other lady knight in your realm, you will have the task of teaching her how to manage everything that will be required of her. She'll listen to you, so I want you to be prepared to help her. Now pay attention to me!"

Properly chastised, the Lioness kept still and listened to the Goddess' plans and instructions. Her half-asleep husband listened, too, and he truly was amazed.

* * *

It was a long and uneventful trip as Kel and Joren, and Neal and Tobe traveled to Fort Steadfast as quickly as they could. Riding along the well-traveled route, Kel enjoyed looking around at the riot of colors of the changing leaves. The only thing that marred the early autumn day was the constant, silly bickering between the arrogant blond lord and the green-eyed knight-mage. When they stopped for their midday meal, Kel finally told both her betrothed and her best friend to grow up.

"I'm going to _skin _both of you alive if you keep arguing about such pointless topics!" Kel warned them, and continued to speak in an irritated tone of voice, "By the way, Neal, I only won _slightly_ more than half of my jousting matches as a squire - just like Joren said - and not most of them, as you said. So that's one debate settled. Also, Rennin apples are just as delicious as Vivianos - it's a matter of personal preference. Stop trying to convince each other that your choice is better than his. And who _cares_ about how the Battle of Joyous Forest could have been fought differently? It's over! It's in the past; so quit your bickering!" Then she stomped off, sat against the trunk of a tree and angrily tore into her food.

Neal glanced at Joren and whistled, "What's the matter with _her_? Did you two have a fight before we left New Hope?"

"No, we haven't disagreed about anything at all since she started drinking that tea," Joren replied after he swallowed his bite of bread. "In fact, it's almost been, well, _boring_. We're both so calm and polite around each other now; I can hardly wait until there's no more tea between us. These past two weeks have been nice, but it feels like I've spent the time with my sister and not my betrothed."

"Humph! Neal scoffed. "_No_ man kisses his sister the way you kiss Kel, my lord - tea or no tea." He strongly disapproved of Joren and Kel drinking the Bazhir tea to control their physical desire for each other and said so - frequently. "I still don't see how you two can do such a thing to yourselves. I enjoy being able to feel the way I do about my Yamani blossom. I _like_ my passions."

"Yes, well, _you're_ getting married this week!" Joren retorted bitterly. "_You_ don't have to prove to everyone that your betrothed is a virgin on your wedding night. So you go right ahead and enjoy your passions, Queenscove, but _I've_ got to be more careful."

Neal rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. This was another one of their "pointless arguments" that Kel despised. When the healer first discovered that the couple was taking what he considered to be extreme measures to dampen their passionate feelings toward each other, he had demanded to examine the tea. Although he immediately sensed its magical power, he was unable to find anything overtly harmful in the mixture of vaguely familiar dried flowers and Bazhir herbs. His former knight-mistress - who was also a Bazhir shaman - never had trained him on the use of such a remedy. It greatly annoyed Neal that the newly-betrothed couple ignored his advice of caution as they continued to drink a cup of the mysterious brew every day.

"Pardon me, my lord, but she's most likely just tired," Tobe said quietly as he walked over and sat down near the men. "My lady hasn't slept well th' past few nights."

Joren traded worried glances with Neal and said, "Kel hasn't said anything about that to me. Is she having bad dreams and talking in her sleep again?"

Tobe shook his blond head. "My lady barely mutters in her sleep now, so I can't tell if her dreams are good or bad anymore. I only know that they've been leavin' her tired an' cranky, but she hides it behind her smiles for you, Lord Joren. I do agree with her, though, Sir Neal, an' I really wish you and his lordship here would stop arguin' with each other. Even your horses think you're bein' daft. If Peachblossom was here, he'd already have bitten you about ten miles back." Tobe's face was very serious, but both men exchanged glances again and began to laugh.

The second half of their ride was somewhat different from the first half; Neal rode next to Tobe and quizzed him on his letters and numbers. Joren rode next to Kel and he slowly coaxed her into a better mood as they chatted about all the places Joren wanted to take her once the war was over. They also discussed the changes that New Hope would need to make in order to accommodate their wedding. Joren had given the town headwoman, Mistress Fanche, access to a line of funding to cover the construction of a new inn for the town and a mill, as well as a larger stone structure for the temple of the Goddess. When they stopped to give their mounts a water break in the late afternoon, the lady knight was actually smiling, even though the boy was not.

By the time they arrived at Fort Steadfast, the evening mealtime had ended, so the travelers stabled their horses and went in search of their friends - whom they hoped would be able to scrounge up some food for them. They hadn't gone two steps past the stable doors before Raoul's loud voice thundered a greeting across the quadrangle at them. Neal didn't even have a chance to brace himself before his betrothed, Lady Yukimi noh Daiomoru, flung herself into his arms and kissed him full on the lips. The soon-to-be-married couple enjoyed a very passionate embrace as Kel and Joren looked upon them with smug grins.

"Where is this couple's _chaperone_?" Joren asked Kel in a louder voice than necessary, "I must respectfully request that these two refrain from such impassioned embraces_._ _It's undignified_!" His smile was crooked and his blue eyes twinkled wickedly.

"I suppose that _we_ shall have to step in and provide good counsel, my lord" Kel replied just as loudly, "Sir Neal just might shame us all before he remembers that there is at least one child among us." She grinned down at Tobe who shook his head at the silliness of his lady and her man.

"Nah, that wouldn't make a difference!" Dom added as he walked up behind them, "My cousin has no shame. And just think, as his best man, I get to endure _this_ sort of behavior for the next two days. Come on, Meathead, save that for your wedding day!" And he tapped Neal's shoulder.

Neal broke off his kiss and glared at all of them. To Dom, he growled, "That's _Sir_ Meathead to you - and you can be replaced. In fact in might be in my best interest to do so. Knowing you, _dear cousin_, you've probably already made arrangements to short-sheet my marriage bed."

Dom raised his eyebrows and grinned evilly before saying, "No, no, but now that you've mention it, that sounds like a great idea!"

Raoul and Buri, as well as several other onlookers, laughed at the good-natured banter. Then everyone greeted the travelers and several people politely congratulated Joren and Kel on their betrothal. After Neal and Yuki kissed again, Dom wrapped his arm around Neal's shoulder and led him and Joren away toward the barracks. Yuki and Buri escorted Kel to the visitors' quarters on the second floor in the headquarters building, where the ladies would be staying during the week. For a moment, Tobe stood there, looking forlorn, until Buri turned back and beckoned to him to come along, too, informing the boy that they had a room on the first floor for him to stay.

* * *

For the next day and a half, Kel enjoyed visiting with her old friends in Third Company. Merric and Neal were fine opponents in the practice yard, and since she'd been drinking the special tea for the past two weeks, it actually had been fun to fence and spar against Joren. However, Kel truly enjoyed practicing with the familiar men of the Own. There were some new faces, but Dom and Wolset and Qasim were glad to see her, even though they still were a bit reserved with Joren.

Yuki and Buri brought Kel up to date on all the relevant gossip from Corus. Everyone had advised King Jonathan and Queen Thayet that they should not attend their oldest and dearest friends' wedding, because their presence in the far north would make too tempting a target for King Maggur's soldiers. So the monarchs decided to send Duke Gareth the Younger and Alanna the Lioness to represent them as best man and matron of honor. Since Alanna refused to travel by ship, the wedding had to wait until she and Gary traveled up the Great Road North as quickly as they could manage, arriving at the fort two days after Kel did.

Once Alanna settled in and had taken a nice, hot bath, all four women spent the rest of the afternoon and evening discussing the arrangements for the weddings, both of which were to take place the following day. Actually, there wasn't much to discuss. Neal and Yuki would get married in the morning and then Raoul and Buri would exchange their vows in the late afternoon. That would give the younger couple some time alone for a while and then they'd be able to attend the older couple's wedding. Afterward, everyone would celebrate both weddings at a feast in the mess hall.

Relaxing in Alanna's room after a boisterous suppertime, the ladies turned their attention toward Kel's betrothal and wedding. They finally coaxed the details out of the suddenly shy young knight by threatening to ask Neal to tell his version of the story the following evening. Yuki's eyes filled with tears when she heard of Joren's romantic proposals in the Yamani language. Even Buri and Alanna were impressed with the way the young lord had thought ahead to bring enough food and wine for the celebratory feast.

Alanna finally cleared her throat and said to Kel, "Well, I have it on good authority that Beltane would be a very, _very_ good day for your wedding to take place."

Kel raised her eyebrows and asked, "Good authority, my lady?"

The Lioness abruptly slapped the palm of her hand down onto a nearby small table. "Blast it all, Kel! Stop calling me that! I thought I'd broken you of that bad habit after you earned your shield - I'm just plain old _Alanna!_ If you call me 'Lady' again, I'll start calling you Protector of the Small, got it?"

Ducking her head, Kel replied, "Got it - _Alanna_."

Buri patted Kel's arm and explained, "Pay no attention to that short-tempered non-Lady over there. What she meant to say is that the Great Mother Goddess has paid her a visit again. It happens more often than she'd like and she's usually cross for days afterward. Nevertheless, you'd be wise to heed her words. A wedding on Beltane, huh? That figures!"

"Humph! You're one to be calling _me_ short-anything, Buri," complained the redhead. Then she sniffed in playfully haughty manner and continued, "Anyway, the Great Goddess _did _speak to me before I departed Corus and she wants you to know that she's _extremely _excited by your agreeing to honor her with your bridal sacrifice. She's also quite pleased that you are planning to hold your wedding within the customs of those who serve her at her altar in New Hope. I'm curious, though, what made you and Lord Joren decide to do such a thing? Surely, Mindelan is near enough for you to plan to have your wedding there?"

"Yes, but I'm actually doing my family a favor by marrying elsewhere," Kel replied. "Two of my sisters and one of my brothers had their weddings at Mindelan and my father always invited everyone on his lands to join in the festivities. Now that my brother, Anders, has so many extra mouths to feed - what with all the soldiers and villagers living inside the protection of the walls - I don't want to be a burden to my family when I wed."

"Then why not have your wedding at Stone Mountain?" Yuki asked. "I've heard that the castle there is almost as large as the royal palace!"

"Joren's mother won't hear of it," Kel shook her head, then quickly changed the focus of her answer, "Besides, if you had seen the townsfolk after my betrothal ceremony, you'd _know_ why we chose to marry at New Hope. Truthfully, I'm not really excited about the whole bridal tent set-up in the middle of the wheat field, but the farmlands around New Hope certainly could use the Goddess' blessings. Recently, the king granted the town independent status so that the greedy, negligent lords in the area can't reclaim them after the war."

"Does this mean that New Hope will get to govern itself?" Yuki asked. This was intriguing to her because there weren't any independent cities or towns in the Yamani Islands. "How will those people survive? Surely, they don't plan to be refugees forever?"

"The refugees mostly came from the towns and villages of Fiefs Tirrsmont and Anak's Eyrie, where the lords and noblemen are notoriously stingy and ill-mannered," Kel explained. "It's been a very long time since any of the common folk were invited to share in the good fortunes of their overlords and I find that to be shameful! After Haven and all the ... the losses, I think the people of New Hope deserve some happiness, too."

"Do you mean to say that their former overlords won't provide for them?" Yuki was shocked. She'd never heard of such dishonorable conduct.

"The old landowners _claim_ that they cannot manage it financially," Kel sounded bitter. "A lot of tradesmen and women lost their homes to the Scanran attacks and the fires afterward. Their former lords can't or won't help them rebuild, so they've come to New Hope to start over. If the people can grow enough food to support themselves, as well as produce some extra to sell to Fort Mastiff, that will be a great blessing, indeed. And as for my wedding celebration, perhaps a little Beltane music and dancing will help lift the people's spirits. It's the least I can do for them. Besides, I'm certain that Joren will like the idea more than I do, especially since he's been following the way of the Goddess for a while now."

The other ladies just stared at Kel. Finally, Buri voiced what they all were thinking, "You are the most optimistic idealist I've ever met! Sharing your wedding day with the people under your command, just so that they might have some happiness is the biggest act of charity I've heard of in a while. Although I can barely stand it, I applaud your pure sense of chivalry and I hope you never lose it. I certainly don't envy you, though, having your wedding on one of the rowdiest holidays of the year. You'll be up all night, whether you want to or not. Honestly, I'm glad that Raoul decreed there'd be no dancing at our feast."

Alanna chuckled, "Good for him! And without Thayet here, Raoul's made certain that no one can make him dance at his own wedding. Besides, it would be completely inappropriate for there to be dancing with so few of us females in residence at the fort this week. By my count, there are five female Riders among the Groups that are here to support Buri and we four are the only noblewomen. That makes a total of nine females, but two of you are the brides"

"Let's thank all the gods for _that_ tiny blessing!" Buri said and lifted her cup of juice in a toasting gesture.

"I'm not sure that I care for Tortallan dancing, anyway," Yuki said, wrinkling her nose, "In Yaman, either the ladies danced for the men or the men danced for the ladies, but we never danced together. And even though I've become accustomed to most things here, I'm so relieved only to have to greet our guests after the wedding and not have to dance with them. My poor feet ache after every ball!"

Buri and Alanna exchanged glances and then laughed, "When Alanna first dragged Thayet and me into the Tortallan court, I refused to dance at any of the social events. After Thayet married the king, she finally got me to dress more like a Tortallan lady-in-waiting and less like a K'miri bodyguard, so that I could blend in a bit more when we attended official functions - but I still wouldn't dance. I agree with you, Yuki; I'm glad we're getting married this way, without all the royal fuss. I think that's the main reason Raoul didn't try to discourage us from coming north now." Smiling, she turned toward Kel, who'd become very quiet, and said, "Now _you _- 'Lady Chivalry' - I bet you'll _enjoy_ the whole fancy-dancy ordeal at your wedding, won't you?"

"Oh, I don't mind dancing so much," Kel admitted sheepishly, "As long as nobody's watching my every move to see if I'll make a mistake. It's been a while, but my sisters and cousins always made sure I knew how to do the latest dance steps. Even though they knew I meant to become a knight, they didn't want me to embarrass the family by being socially ignorant. Actually, Joren probably will be disappointed when he finds out that there won't be any dancing tomorrow night. He first kissed me when we danced together at my sister's wedding."

"Your sister's wedding?" Both Yuki and Buri asked at the same time, causing Kel to laugh at their facial expressions as her own face turned red with embarrassment.

"Yes," Kel admitted and she decided to explain the incident to the other women. "My sister, Adalia, married the brother of Joren's former knight-master back when I was twelve. Sir Paxton of Nond was Merovec's best man and now he's my sister's brother-in-law. My mother made me dress up like all the other girls and participate in the "Maidens' Dance" at the wedding. Joren saw me and that's when he got it into his head that he could court me if I was a regular lady."

Then, in a rare fit of chattiness, Kel told the other ladies things about her relationship with Joren and their tentative wedding plans that she hadn't even shared with her own mother, yet. She told them about some of the events surrounding the kidnapping trial and Lord Wyldon's letter-writing 'punishment,' as well as Joren's romantic letters to her throughout the previous year. Then Kel admitted that was nervous about the upcoming bridal sacrifice and the relief she'd felt since Joren had begun to share his special tea with her.

"Horse lords!" Buri exclaimed after Kel was quiet for a while. "No wonder Raoul has always supported you two getting together someday! I never could understand why he didn't chase away that young buck until this very moment. Even when we escorted you to and from the Stone Mountain townhouse in Corus that wintry night, I just couldn't imagine what you saw in the man. Now it all makes sense!"

Yuki shook her head in amazement, saying, "And you're really going to go through with that whole bridal sacrifice? I'd die of embarrassment if everyone stood around a tent while Neal and I, well, you know." Then she looked down and her face turned a lovely shade of pink.

A very tired Alanna, who'd been half-drowsing while Kel talked, sat bolt upright. Sounding alarmed, she asked, "What did you just say about drinking a special Bazhir tea?" The color drained from her face as Kel repeated what she'd said.

"Why?" Kel saw Alanna's pale face and began to worry, "What's wrong? Neal thoroughly examined the mixture and he said it seemed alright. Of course, he still thinks that Joren and I are cheating because we're drinking the tea to control our passions toward each other. But I've told him to mind his own business since it's only for a little while longer."

"Perhaps less time than you realize. Do you have any of the tea with you now?" Alanna asked and when Kel nodded, she added, "May I examine it?"

They all followed Kel into her room and watched as she rummaged in her saddlebags until she located the package of dry tea. Then she and the two other ladies observed Alanna while she sifted and sniffed through the mixture of dried flowers and herbs. Barely thirty seconds had passed when the purple-eyed mage looked at Kel with a grave expression on her face and told her the bad news.

"No more tea for you, young lady knight!" Alanna proclaimed. "My former squire was correct in his misgivings about you drinking it; however, I'm sure he doesn't remember why. This potion is fine for the males, but females should never even taste it. It's practically a poison for our kind." To herself, she silently added, "_No wonder the Goddess sent me to you, Kel. Being around well-meaning, but ignorant, males all the time has taken its toll on you. Silly fools!_"

Now Kel was alarmed, "Poison? What do you mean by that?"

Alanna patted Kel's hand and replied, "Relax, Kel. From what you've just said, you haven't had enough of the tea to cause you any serious harm, yet. And the reason Neal couldn't find anything wrong with it is that the Bazhir shamans who make it merely take an ordinary tea - often a warrior's favorite blend of tea, if they know his preferences - and infuse it with the tasteless and colorless juice of qadaq berries. That's where the real power is. As you've noticed, it works wonders on a man's desires and it certainly does the same for a woman - for a while. Unfortunately, after a full month of drinking this tea, your heart would have failed, Kel."

"Yama save us!" Yuki exclaimed. "What do these ... qadaq berries do?"

"Well, they diminish a person's ability to feel intense passion," Alanna explained. "Over time, they also prevent a woman's heart from beating properly. We don't know why. It's just another difference between males and females. The Bazhir women know not to handle the juice of qadaq berries. Only male shamans extract and process the juice to make the special tea for their warriors. I'm sure that the shaman who made this mixture for Joren never would have dreamed that he'd give some of it to his lady-love."

Buri sighed heavily, "Wait till Raoul hears this! He's not going to be happy at all."

"Please, no!" Kel pleaded, "You can't tell him, Buri! Swear to me that you won't!" Turning to Alanna she said, "Of course, you should tell Neal; as a healer, he _should_ know about this, just in case. And Yuki, after you're married, don't let Neal harass Joren about this. But, _please_, all of you must let me be the one to tell Joren. I know he's going to feel horrible enough as it is and I'll need to reassure him. Everything is fine - Alanna stopped me in time and I'm fine, right?"

Alanna shrugged her shoulders and asked, "Have you been feeling tired for no good reason? Or sleeping poorly since your betrothed began sharing his tea with you?" When Kel's face turned white, Alanna slowly said, "You've only been drinking the tea for two weeks, so it's hard to say. If you'll allow me to check your heart, I can make sure you're alright."

Kel nodded and Alanna shooed the other women out of the room. As she let Alanna's purple magic wash over her body, the young lady knight realized that it was the first time in a long time that a female healer had touched her. Not knowing when she'd have another opportunity, she quietly asked Alanna to check everything else after verifying that her heart was working properly. Kel breathed a sigh of relief when the purple-eyed mage reassured her that her maidenly body appeared to be perfectly healthy and ripe for marriage.

"Kel, I'm glad we have this moment alone," Alanna said as she helped Kel up to a seated position on her bed. "There's more to the Goddess' message that no one else but you and Joren should know about - good news _and_ bad news. The good news is that you're going to be working with me for a while after Wyldon releases you from command."

"You ... you know about that?" Kel asked. "That Lord Wyldon plans to put Merric in charge of New Hope after Midwinter and reassign me and Neal?"

Alanna rubbed her hand across her face, sat down in a chair and sighed, "Yes, there've been a number of squabbles over where you should go next. Naturally, Raoul wanted you here and another one of my esteemed colleagues wanted you over at the rebuilt Fort Giantkiller. Fortunately, the Goddess is on _my_ side." And then she smiled wickedly.

Kel smiled in return, "Where will your assignment be? Does that mean I'll be assigned to your command this winter?"

"It certainly does!" Alanna nodded. "I'm not yet at liberty to tell you where I'll be commanding, but the bad news is that we won't be together for very long."

"What?" Kel exclaimed. "What are you saying, my la-- Alanna?"

"The Goddess is quite serious about your sacrifice," Alanna said. "It's a good thing that Jon signed that decree declaring New Hope an independent town. Once you and Joren do your part, the Goddess will bless the lands of New Hope in such a manner that it'll be the envy of all its neighbors. The people, as well as the lands and all of the livestock will be more fertile than ever before. There will be several years of abundant harvests and the _midwives_ will have a very busy year." She gazed at Kel meaningfully until the young knight finally understood and her face turned bright red.

"Oh ... oh, no, not _me_." Kel said with certainty as she pulled out her pregnancy charm and showed it to Alanna. She began to babble,"You see, I always wear the charm. Joren no longer needs to have an heir right away and he even wants me to wear _two_ charms on our wedding night, just to be safe. We're going to be knights errant for a while - just like you were right after you earned your shield. Joren has all sorts of plans for us to travel after the war is over and he wants me to see all of the places where Stone Mountain has holdings. He even wants to go back to Maren and introduce me to his sister who lives there. And we're planning to enter tournaments there, too. _I_ won't need a midwife for at least three, maybe four years."

Alanna held Kel's gaze with her purple eyes while she waited for the young woman to stop babbling. When she spoke again, she almost sounded apologetic, "The bride carries the fertility of the land within her; a pregnancy charm would block the Goddess' blessings upon the land, just the same as it blocks your womb, Kel. You may _not_ wear such a thing when you offer the bridal sacrifice. Didn't anyone tell you that? Didn't _Joren_ tell you that?"

"I ... I don't think he knows," Kel's voice was a barely above a whisper. "He's only a ... a recent convert to the ways of the Goddess. And he ... he's been trying to teach me about everything his uncle has taught him so far, but ... but ..." Her voice finally trailed off.

"Kel, I've served the Great Lady practically all my life," Alanna explained as her eyes filled with pity. "You and Joren are just beginning to understand that her attention can be both a blessing and a curse. I'm so sorry to be the bearer of this news. The Goddess plans to bless your bridal bed so that everyone will continue to acknowledge and pay homage to her great power. If you don't have a child during your first year of marriage, her worshippers will wonder what went wrong. They might lose faith - either in you or her or both. And from what you just told us about the people of New Hope, they need all the faith they can muster."

"The people ..." was all that Kel could say in response to Alanna's words as she stared at a knot in the wood of her room's far wall.

Alanna squeezed Kel's hand and said, "I'm going out to reassure Buri and Yuki that you're not poisoned, but I'll be back with a cleansing tonic for you to drink after I bid them goodnight. I'm sorry but you'll have to stay close to a privy for the next day or so; then your body will be rid of all traces of the qadaq berry juice. I'll leave you to decide how you're going to tell your betrothed all the news." Then she left the dazed young knight and closed the door behind her.

Kel forced herself to breathe. All of Alanna's words swam through her muddled brain, though she could only focus on the phrase, "tell your betrothed all the news." The fact that she'd been drinking what amounted to poison was disturbing enough, but the news of the Goddess' plans for them was overwhelming. Having a baby during their first year of marriage definitely was _not_ what she and Joren had planned to do. How could she tell him that what the Goddess wanted was more important than what they wanted? Suddenly, she wished her mother was there to hold her and comfort her.

When Alanna returned to Kel's room with a cup of frothy liquid, she discovered that the young woman hadn't moved at all. Recognizing the signs of shock, the experienced healer gently forced Kel to drink the cleansing tonic and then asked her where she could find her night clothes. She waited while Kel changed out of her regular clothes, and then spoke to her as she would to a frightened child, tucking the tall woman into her bed.

"Don't worry, Kel. Joren will adjust and so will you," Alanna said soothingly, "Get some rest now. You and I are going to make the most of our time together. I already have some specific tasks we can tackle for the good of the girls who'll be entering page training this autumn. Everything will work out just fine. You'll see." Then she blew out the candles and returned to her own room.

Afterward, it took Alanna a long time to fall asleep. Every time she closed her famous purple eyes, she saw Kel's stony, white face. Scrying in her battered old mirror, she saw that George was already in a deep slumber back at Pirate's Swoop. The Lioness finally sent up a prayer to the Goddess, pleading for her to grant them all a good night's sleep, because the next day promised to be a long one - even without the dancing.

* * *

Neal and Yuki's wedding was a simple affair. The morning was somewhat chilly, but it was a bright and clear autumn day. All of the men of Third Company, as well as the handful of other guests, including Duke Baird and Lord Wyldon, gathered at the small building which served as Fort Steadfast's temple of the gods. This being a military place, usually inhabited only by males, a Mithran priest presided over the ceremony. Neal's cousin, Domitan of Masbolle, served as the best man and Kel served as Yuki's maid of honor.

Buri whispered in Alanna's ear, "It's a good thing Kel is here - she's the only one of us qualified to be a true maid of honor." Alanna snorted as she tried to control her laughter, earning herself a brief glare from Duke Baird.

After the wedding, there was a brief time of congratulating the happy couple and celebrating with delicious cakes and fine Goldenlake ale. Whereas Joren's uncle's lands were famous for their wines, Raoul's ancestral lands were renowned for their wonderful ales. Everyone whistled and cheered as Neal led his blushing bride back up to the guest room that had been prepared for them at the headquarters building. Raoul had even posted two trustworthy guards outside of the room to insure that no one was able to pull any pranks on the newlyweds.

"Surely, you don't mistrust _us_, my lord?" Dom had asked Raoul in an overly innocent tone of voice the previous night when he discovered the guards' presence.

Raoul had grunted and said, "I'm not even going to _dignify_ that query with the answer it deserves." And he strolled down the hallway; smugly confident in the protective spells that Alanna had placed on his owns rooms to keep his men from tampering with his and Buri's bed and belongings.

Later that day, Raoul looked splendid in the Goldenlake colors of green and gold. His bride had no immediate family and only a few of his male cousins from the Disart side of his family were able to attend the wedding because they also were knights serving along the northern border. Buri wore a long, traditional K'miri-styled red satin gown, with high slits on both sides, over matching baggy trousers. The outfit was designed to allow a K'miri bride to quickly mount up on a swift pony behind her groom and ride off to their secret honeymoon location. Although Raoul liked the idea of following that particular custom, it would be quite a while before he and Buri would be able to get away together. The best they could do was to celebrate their long-awaited marriage by hosting a fabulous feast for everyone who was able to be there.

Kel wore the same gown to Raoul and Buri's wedding as she had to Neal and Yuki's ceremony. Although the lady knight had brought both of her gowns from New Hope, in honor of her former knight-master from Goldenlake, she wore the one she had not chosen for her betrothal ceremony. It was a solid green velvet gown with gold lace trim around the cuffs and hem, as well as intricate gold embroidery all around the neckline. Joren had a difficult time keeping his eyes from drifting toward that beautiful, exposed neckline. Kel discreetly jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow every time she noticed the focus of his glances.

"Stop that!" Kel hissed through her gritted teeth. "Someone might see what you're doing." She hadn't had a chance to tell him about the tea or anything else Alanna had told her the previous night.

Joren shrugged and smiled at her crookedly, "What do I care? We're betrothed now; everyone knows that I'm all yours and you're all mine. I can certainly look at what's mine, can't I?"

Ever since he'd shared the Bazhir tea with Kel and they both felt safe enough to be in each other's presence without losing control, Joren had become accustomed to a higher level of provocative banter between them. Kel, however, was not amused. He didn't know what was wrong, but his betrothed had been acting very stiff toward him all day. At first, he attributed her attitude to the other women's high level of stress prior to each of the weddings. Now the young lord wondered if something else was bothering his lady knight. When Kel excused herself to go to the privy for the third time that evening, Joren followed her outside.

"Kel, wait!" Joren called as he trotted after her. "I need to talk to you!"

"I can't!" Kel called over her shoulder. "I've got to go - right now!" And she hurried into the latrine, locking the door latch behind her. Joren stood upwind and held his nose while he waited for her.

"Are you ill?" he asked her worriedly when she emerged. "You've been a bit grumpy lately and, now that I think about it, you've been running off to the privy all day, too. What's the matter, my love?"

Kel felt the heat rising in her cheeks. Alanna's cleansing tonic definitely worked. She steered Joren away from the latrines and back toward the stables where they could sit on a bench and talk. She knew it was time to tell him about the tea and the tonic. It also was time to tell him about the Goddess' plans for them. Kel spoke slowly and watched Joren's face transform into the same expression she knew she'd had on her face the previous night. After she finished talking, they just sat there on the bench and held each other, quietly listening to the sounds of the celebration as they pondered their future.

* * *

The rest of the week passed too quickly. Kel, Joren and Tobe departed Fort Steadfast the afternoon after the weddings and traveled to Mindelan. Thankfully, Inness had prepared everyone to meet and welcome Lord Joren of Stone Mountain, as well as young Tobeis Boon to the family. Anders tried not to show it, but Kel noticed his sigh of relief when she verified Inness' report that the wedding would not take place at their home fief. After two days of introductions and pleasantries while the tenants brought in the last bit of their harvest, Kel knew that several people, including her sisters-in-laws and their children, were completely enamored with both Joren and Tobe.

The trio returned to Steadfast, where Kel and Joren would part company until it was nearly time for their wedding. Joren had arranged to travel south with Dukes Gareth and Baird and their guards. Kel and Tobe had the sorry task of escorting the newly-wed Neal back to New Hope, while Yuki would travel with her new father-in-law back to the Queenscove estate to reside with Neal's mother until the war ended. Alanna would travel with Kel's group until she reached Fort Mastiff, where they planned to meet with Lord Wyldon and then travel back to New Hope with the supply wagons.

Departure day dawned chilly and gloomy, which suited everyone's mood. Although he'd been conscientious of Kel's discomfort ever since she'd stopped drinking the tea, Joren embraced and kissed her as though they might never see each other again. The bond they'd felt from the time of their handfasting ceremony seemed to pull them together like magnets. At one point, Joren truly wasn't certain if the wetness on his face was from Kel's silent tears or his. She kissed him so many times that, even with drinking the special tea, his whole body actually ached when he thought about the fact that he'd be returning to Stone Mountain without her by his side.

Neal and Yuki did the same thing as Kel and Joren. Only after Duke Baird loudly reminded them all that they were wasting precious daylight, did the kissing couples separate themselves. Raoul and Buri had special permission to stay together at Fort Steadfast, but they didn't rub their good fortune into their forlorn friends' noses. The commander of the King's Own and the former commander of the Queen's Riders merely stood next to each other and waved good-bye to their friends as they all rode out through the fort's formidable gates.

They hadn't gone five miles when Neal started questioning Kel about her health. He wanted to know if she still felt tired or restless and if she'd been sleeping alright. After he'd had a few days of being left alone with Yuki in the makeshift 'bridal suite,' Neal finally emerged a happy, but tired man. Alanna fixed him up with some good tea and informed him of Kel's near fatal mistake. Then the healer-knight gave her former squire an embarrassing, remedial lesson Bazhir plants and their common uses. Now Neal rode next to Kel, apologizing profusely for his lapse.

Exasperated, Kel yelled at him, "It's alright, Neal! Thanks to Alanna, I'm fine now, so you can stop apologizing. And don't start blaming Joren, either; he was only trying to help me. How were we supposed to know that the blasted Bazhir tea is so dangerous for females?"

"That's exactly my point, Kel," Neal sounded shrill. "You _never _should drink any healing tea unless an actual_ healer_ has prescribed it specifically for you. Never! I get nightmares every time I think about what might have happened to you. You're very fortunate that Alanna realized the danger when you told her about your troubles with controlling your--"

Back on the road, next to Tobe, Alanna finally yelled, "Shut it, Neal! I don't want to hear another word about it from either of you. Kel's fine. Now _I've _had quite enough of this conversation. Remember, there are young ears with us," She nodded toward Tobe, who seemed to be enjoying his own private 'conversation' with his small, piebald mare. "When Lord Wyldon receives our _happy _ban of travelers, you'd better not utter one word of this. Do you understand, Queenscove? Not one word!"

"Now see what you've caused," Neal drawled flatly. "I'll be lucky if Alanna doesn't shadow me for the remainder of her time up north, quizzing me and asking me all sorts of questions about healing herbs and such. I probably won't even have a free moment to mix a tea for your headache. I can tell that you have one, now."

Kel straightened her spine and sat higher in her saddle as she said icily, "Don't you _ever_ examine me without my knowledge or permission again, Neal! And I don't care if I have a cold or a headache or a fever, you _can't_ prescribe for me any more of your nasty-tasting teas. From now on, the only tea I plan on drinking is nice, safe, Yamani green tea. Besides, Alanna makes tonics; even my _mother_ makes tonics - and they work. You're a clever mage; surely you can figure out clever ways to heal me - that is, if I need a healing, which you should only know about if I _ask_ you to examine me. I really mean it, Neal. No more tea!"

* * *

**A/N: As you probably noticed, I decided not to go into great detail about Raoul and Buri's wedding or Neal and Yuki's, either. It simply would have taken me too long. Besides, I know you'd really prefer for me to focus on Kel and Joren, anyway, and give you lots more fluff. ;D Okay, here's the deal: although a few readers have expressed a desire to see me add many more chapters onto this story or to chop the chapters into smaller bites, I just can't do it. I have vowed to complete this story **_**this**_** summer, so there are perhaps two more chapters and an epilogue remaining. Again, I appreciate all of you who are continuing to read my story. Please review. Thanks! :D**


	69. Adjustments

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I apologize for the longer delay - I've been battling against a minor case of writer's block as I attempt to mesh the story ideas I wrote back in November with the story this has actually become since then. Believe me when I say that there have been many, many changes and adjustments along the way. But that's life - it doesn't always go according to our plans. I planned to be done with this story ages ago, but I'm still writing it. My AU characterizations of Kel and Joren planned to have great adventures right after they got married, but now they've discovered that they must make adjustments to their plans, too. There's hardly any fluff here, but there **_**are**_** the last of the letters and lots of time-jumping. I hope you'll like the things that happen with the characters in this and the following chapters. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_"Don't worry, Kel. Joren will adjust and so will you," Alanna said soothingly, "Get some rest now. You and I are going to make the most of our time together. I already have some specific tasks we can tackle for the good of the girls who'll be entering page training this autumn. Everything will work out just fine. You'll see." _

* * *

**Adjustments**

When Joren rode away from Fort Steadfast and Kel, who was headed back to New Hope, he felt as though an invisible hand had punched through his chest and was ripping his heart to shreds. He knew then that one half of his heart would remain with Kel for as long as they were apart from each other. The only way he could ease the pain was to remind himself that they both had many tasks to accomplish in preparation for their May wedding.

Out of his deep chagrin over unknowingly giving Kel a drink which was poisonous to her, Joren had forsaken his daily dose of the Bazhir tea and he was beginning to suffer from the abrupt change. Most of the time, as the horses kept a steady pace southward, Joren tried not to think too hard about the fact that since their lives officially became bonded together during their betrothal and handfasting ceremonies, he and Kel _could_ be sharing a bed already. That is, if he and Kel were commoners. However, since they were nobles, they would have to wait until after their formal wedding to be together as husband and wife.

Now, the newly-betrothed lord desperately tried to keep his mind occupied with thoughts of boring financial reports and trade agreements. The more he envisioned his future bride all dressed up in her lovely, ladylike gowns, the closer to insanity he drifted. So, in order to keep his mind distracted, Joren began to compose the letters he planned to send to Kel.

******************

_To Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_Marbleton House, Corus_

_September 30, 461 H.E._

_My Dearest Kel,_

_Fortunately, the journey back to Corus was uneventful. Unfortunately, Duke Gareth nearly bored me to tears with his endless chatter about all of the upcoming events and legislative actions of the king's council. I'm quite certain that my brain absorbed a lot of good information during the trip, but the only topic of discussion that truly interested me was the upcoming marriage of Princess Kalasin to Emperor Kaddar of Carthak. Midwinter at the palace promises to be very quiet again this year since the monarchs will be traveling south to escort their oldest daughter to her new home. _

_I'm only staying at Marbleton House for a few days to take of several business matters before I head back to Stone Mountain. Some of my men-at-arms came down with my ever-faithful servant, Spencer, to prepare for my arrival in Corus and we'll travel north very soon. He asked me to send you his greetings and well wishes on our betrothal. Lalasa and her friend Tian also send their congratulations._

_Yesterday, I visited Lalasa's dress shop to deliver that bunch of strings along with the letter you gave me for her. She was very kind to me and explained how each piece of string represents one of your current body measurements. Clearly, the woman is overjoyed about making your wedding dress, but she is not convinced that it would be proper for her to serve as your maid of honor. I'll let you handle that matter from this point on. Anyway, I was so impressed with the samples of her work that I decided to commission several new tunics and shirts for myself, too. _

_I also plan to visit Uncle Lars at Dunmoor before I return to Stone Mountain. I'm still quite upset that he didn't inform me that you can't wear a charm during our wedding sacrifice. It's not right that we didn't know about this important bit of information and I've been wondering if he's kept other things from me. Now it's impossible for us to back out of our promise to honor the Goddess - especially after hearing what Lady Alanna said to you. My head and my heart ache when I think of all the adjustments we must make to our own plans._

_My head and my heart also ache because I miss you so very much. Please give my greetings to Tobe and all the others. May all the gods be with you as the snow begins to fall. Be safe, my love._

_Yours forever,_

_Joren_

********************

While he was in Corus, Joren also went to the Lord Magistrate's office and requested Duke Turomot's assistance in the matter of Tobeis Boon. The duke truly liked Joren and the feeling was mutual. The young lord had been exchanging letters with the older man from the time of his travels in Maren. Now Duke Turomot was intrigued, as well as disgusted, by the possibility of Lord Burchard or his agents paying to get rid of Tobe's mother. Joren was grateful when the Lord Magistrate readily agreed to open a discreet inquiry into the matter.

"I hear that congratulations are in order, Lord Joren," Duke Turomot said, his watery old eyes twinkling merrily, "I always suspected that you and Keladry of Mindelan would end up together. That kiss you gave her after her Ordeal confirmed my suspicions. In fact, I recently told a few of my 'esteemed' colleagues to quit spreading their malicious gossip about you two when I learned that you'd finally become betrothed."

Joren's face showed pink through his beard and he said, "Thank you, sir. I appreciate your support. However, I must confess that it was Lady Keladry who actually initiated that kiss after her Ordeal. She certainly surprised me that day."

The duke laughed aloud and replied, "Ah, but you certainly didn't waste any time in returning her surprising kisses! I do wish you happiness, Lord Joren. And I promise that one of my trusted associates will contact you as soon as we find out anything about this mysterious boy in your lady's service."

Joren blinked at the duke's last statement. It was the first time that someone outside of his family had referred to Kel as "your lady." He liked the sound of those words. He liked the fact that a powerful man such as the Lord Magistrate already thought of Kel as his lady. When he thought of _all _of the people in the realm seeing Keladry of Mindelan as his lady, Joren smiled all the way to Dunmoor.

Baron Lars of Dunmoor was very excited to see his newly-betrothed nephew and asked him all about the handfasting ceremony. After enjoying a good supper, the two men retired to the sitting room. As soon as Joren settled into a chair next to the hearth, he began to interrogate his uncle about the wedding traditions of Goddess worshippers. When he explained what Sir Paxton had taught him about Mithran wedding rites from when Merovec of Nond married Adalia of Mindelan, Lars just shook his head and told Joren that there were quite a few significant differences between the two rites.

"Why didn't you tell me about _all_ of these rules and conditions Kel and I would have to follow when we make our wedding sacrifice to the Goddess?" Joren asked, barely controlling his anger, "Did you think that we might not have been so enthused about the Goddess' blessings upon the land if we knew that couples who make such sacrifices usually have a child within the first year of their marriage? You _knew_ of my plans to travel with Lady Keladry and enter tournaments together and such. Were you afraid that we wouldn't agree to marry in front of the altar of the Goddess if we knew _everything?_"

"No, Joren, I meant no deceit," Lars insisted, "In fact, I was certain that you understood what you'd be doing. You've witnessed _two_ traditional weddings here at Dunmoor and I know you felt the impact of those newly-wed couples' sacrifices for yourself. How could you go away from those experiences thinking that the Goddess would bless only the seed in the land and not the seed in the womb as well?"

"I ... I don't know, Uncle," Joren admitted sarcastically, "You never sent me any of the birth announcements, so how was I supposed to know? This is all so new to me. While it's true that you've taught me a lot about the way the Goddess wants her supplicants to worship her, the only two things I remembered about the wedding sacrifice were that my bride must be a virgin and that the first time we ... ah, when I actually make her my wife, it must take place in the middle of the fields. That's all you told me about the wedding and that's all I told Kel. From the expression on your face right now, I can see that there must be even _more_ things I should know, but obviously, I don't."

Lars sighed heavily, "Yes, there _is_ more. And you're right; I should have made sure that you understood everything before you committed yourself and your betrothed to offering the bridal sacrifice to the Goddess. I apologize for my lapse and I will make amends as best as I can."

Joren accepted his uncle's apology, as well another afternoon of instructions and advice on the ways of the Goddess. Lars then explained to his nephew, in excruciating detail, more information about what would happen before, during and after he and Kel entered the bridal tent on their wedding night. With each new revelation, Joren became more and more distressed.

Lars also strongly advised him to encourage Kel to speak with the Daughters of the Goddess about all of the 'additional' requirements of their wedding night, so that she would find out first-hand what she needed to do. Joren readily agreed to that advice; he had no desire to be the bearer of such news, and for once, he was glad that he would be far away when Kel heard it all. He certainly had a lot to think about as he traveled north to Stone Mountain.

* * *

At first, Kel had been quite pleased about her and Joren's wedding sacrifice because it would secure the Goddess' blessings for the lands and people of New Hope. As she spoke with the priestesses of the temple in New Hope, though, she realized that it was very much like going through her Ordeal of Knighthood all over again - taking a special bath, wearing a special garment under her wedding gown and speaking special vows. The old women explained, in excruciating detail, everything that would happen before, during and after she and Joren entered the bridal tent and with each new revelation, Kel became more and more annoyed.

Osa, the senior priestess, attempted to placate the young lady knight when she noticed the expression on Kel's face, "Please don't be troubled, Lady Keladry. We know that the townswomen will be more than willing to help you prepare for your wedding. Most of them were wed in front of the Goddess' altar, anyway, so they know exactly what to do. My sister and I will assist you afterward so that you'll be ready to receive your lord on the sacred soil."

The color drained from Kel's face as she asked, "What do you mean by that?" She suddenly imagined the two priestesses staying inside the tent with her and Joren the whole time and felt ill.

"You can't very well take off your own wedding gown, now can you?" asked Kafnani, the other priestess. "Usually, the groom - whether he's a nobleman or a commoner - is too impatient to undress his bride in a way that honors the goddess within her, so it's best that we priestesses perform that duty before we allow him into the bridal tent. We'll return as soon as you've made your sacrifice and make sure you look presentable before you leave the tent. That way, there won't be any rips or tears in your gown afterward when you proceed to the wedding feast."

"Must we ... I mean, is all this ... _really_ necessary?" Kel managed to say. Although she was relieved to hear that the priestesses wouldn't be inside the bridal tent the whole time, she truly wished everyone would stand far back and away from the whole area and let them offer their sacrifice in privacy. Also, her mind drifted to the night that she had lured Joren back to her rooms and into her bed. Surely, she thought, these wizened old women had no idea of how well she - or any other young maiden who was filled with passion - could undress herself.

Nodding her gray head, Priestess Osa said, "You might think that we're just two old spinsters who don't really understand the ways between a man and a woman, but you would be wrong, Lady Keladry. My sister and I were not always Daughters of the Goddess and we _do_ know what were talking about, don't we, Nani?"

"Oh, yes we most certainly do!" Priestess Kafnani added, "We only became servants of the Great Lady after our husbands passed into the Peaceful Realms. In fact, both of us have been maidens, then mothers and _now_ we're crones." Then the old woman giggled at her own joke.

"Although it's been quite a while since our own wedding nights, I can assure you that our memories have not faded away," said Osa with a knowing smile.

Kafnani chuckled and added, "We may have granddaughters older than you, my lady, but no woman forgets her first time with a man. That's just something you _never_ forget."

And with that, the two elderly priestesses told Kel all about their long-ago wedding nights, as well as those of their daughters and their granddaughters. The inexperienced lady knight was so overwhelmed; she just wanted to melt into the floor. Of course, she had heard her own sisters and cousins whispering about their wedding nights, but she couldn't recall any of them ever going into as much detail as Osa and Kafnani did. She truly wished the old women would stop talking so openly, especially about things she never even knew were permissible for husbands and wives to do with each other. Sleeping peacefully would be nearly impossible for her to do now.

When the priestesses began to tell stories about the never-ending aches and pains of pregnancy and childbirth, Kel politely thanked the women for their time and quickly excused herself. She'd heard quite enough about babies from all of her sisters and sisters-in-law and she had no desire to sit through another round of embarrassing stories. As Kel walked back to her office, a new fear, different from anything she'd ever experienced in her life began to grow deep inside of her and she wondered if she would ever be able to manage all of the adjustments to her life after she and Joren were married.

The snows came hard and early that autumn and by the beginning of December, almost everyone was confined to his or her own living quarters during the day unless they had specific outdoor duties. Despite the deep snow drifts, Kel made a point of visiting the different refugee buildings each day to check on the morale of her people. She was pleasantly surprised to find that the hardy forest folk kept themselves quite busy during the winter: making and repairing tools, spinning and weaving, playing card games and telling lots of stories. As the Midwinter holidays approached, there was a wonderful atmosphere of hope and good cheer.

* * *

Prior to departing from Fort Steadfast, Kel and Joren had exchanged Midwinter gifts; each one promising the other that they wouldn't open their wrapped packages until the longest night of the year. Joren gave Kel a new belt knife from the Yamani Islands, as well as string of lustrous black pearls with matching earbobs from the Copper Isles. Kel gave Joren a set of twelve, expertly-fletched arrows made of smooth wood and griffin feathers. They were worth ten times their weight in gold, but Joren cherished them all the more because his lady knight's loving hands had made each one just for him. Shortly after the holiday, Joren received a much-anticipated letter from Kel.

*************

_To Lord Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_New Hope, Northwestern Tortall_

_January 1, 462 H.E._

_Dearest Joren,_

_Happy New Year! Thank you so much for the lovely Midwinter gifts. You knew I was jealous of your Yamani belt knives, didn't you? And I was completely surprised when I saw the black pearls. They're so beautiful! I'm definitely keeping them tucked away in safe place until I have the occasion to wear them just for you._

_A messenger bird arrived today, informing us that Owen of Jesslaw and all of his year-mates, including Prince Liam, passed their Ordeals without any problems. I know that Lord Wyldon must be proud of all of them, but especially his former squire. As soon as Lord Wyldon arrives back at Fort Mastiff, Merric will take command of New Hope and I will return to the fort with Lord Wyldon. I hope he chooses a good person to step into Merric's old job, someone who'll be able to work well with everyone here in town._

_I'm truly looking forward to being a 'regular' knight for a while, just like my brothers. I only hope that the knights and soldiers at the fort won't call me by that silly nickname anymore. I'm also looking forward to working for the Lioness when she comes back from Carthak. Lord Raoul and his men taught me a lot about the way the King's Own operates, but I believe it will be beneficial for me to learn more about normal life on a military fort while Lord Wyldon is still my direct commander._

_As you requested, I spoke with the priestesses and they explained more than I ever wanted to know about the various events that will be included in our wedding ceremony and bridal sacrifice. Now I fully understand why all my brothers and sisters chose to marry according to the Mithran rites, even though the people of Mindelan worship in the temples of both Mithros and the Goddess. It's enough to make me want to elope! Never fear, though, I intend to uphold our betrothal vows, no matter how much I wish that we could have a bit more privacy._

_I love you, Joren, and I promise to do these things and more if they truly will make you happy. I miss you so very much! Be safe and may the gods all bless you in the new year and forever._

_Love,_

_Kel_

***************

Although the healers had predicted that Lady Virryn and Sir Langdon's baby would be born prior to Midwinter's Eve, the newest member of the Stone Mountain clan stubbornly refused to arrive until after all the holiday festivities were done. When the healers confined his mother to her bed, Joren visited her every day, sitting with her and telling her about his time with Kel. Her eyes glistened with proud and happy tears as she listened to her son explain how he proposed to his lady knight. She held her breath when he described the wonder of watching and feeling the betrothal ribbon dissolve into the skin of his hands during their ceremony. One week after Midwinter, Lady Virryn gave birth to her second child, Aurelia of Stone Mountain.

The castle at Stone Mountain still looked festive with all of its Midwinter decorations and the household servants, especially Spencer and Agnes, were glad that their young lord had returned to his mountain home in time for the birth of baby Aurelia. Of course, Joren was very happy for his mother and his uncle - he refused to think of Sir Langdon as his stepfather - but his heart ached as he gazed out of the windows and watched the snow becoming deeper and deeper. Sighing heavily, he knew that it would be a long time before he'd be able to travel west again.

Initially, Joren spent very little time with his new half-sister. Having grown up mostly by himself, the young lord never had been comfortable around small children. He flatly refused to hold the child, no matter how often his mother offered her to him. It was only after he watched Langdon - a man he'd always considered to be a gruff, military commander of a knight - gently comforting the tiny baby in his arms and then rocking her to sleep, that Joren was able to warm up to Aurelia. Still, he kept his distance, not sure of what to do with such a little person.

* * *

As soon as his squire, Owen of Jesslaw, successfully passed his Ordeal and became a knight, Lord Wyldon of Cavall returned from Corus to conduct the change-of-command ceremony between Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan and Sir Merric of Hollyrose. It was time for Kel to move on and have a different kind of assignment before her days under Wyldon's influence came to an end. The battle-proven, redheaded knight was ready to command the fortified town of New Hope and Lord Wyldon had already made certain that the headwoman, Mistress Fanche Weir, would support Merric's leadership.

It was a bittersweet moment for the friends and former year-mates when Kel departed from New Hope. The men were happy for her, but Merric felt an extreme sense of relief that Neal was not going anywhere for the time being. The new commander agreed with Lord Wyldon's assessment that New Hope's healers needed a bit more training before they'd be ready to run the town's infirmary on their own. Neal, however, groaned inwardly when he discovered that Owen had returned with his former knight-master to take over Merric's previous assignment; now the newly-married knight really began to feel old.

Kel's new assignment as a general-purpose knight at Fort Mastiff meant that she led patrols and fought in skirmishes as necessary. Although there were no more killing devices, the Scanrans stubbornly remained along the frozen border, making threats and occasionally seizing ground. Much to the young lady knight's delight, Alanna the Lioness took command of Fort Mastiff as soon as she returned from her godsdaughter's wedding in Carthak. Lord Wyldon went further north, to the recently-rebuilt Fort Giantkiller, to command the region from that location. Kel discovered that one of the great benefits to living at the fort was that she received her mail much quicker than she had at New Hope.

******************

_To Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_January 17, 462 H.E._

_My Dearest Kel,_

_I am pleased to announce the birth of my new sister, Aurelia of Stone Mountain. The baby appears to be healthy with very strong lungs, and although we all had hoped for a boy, my mother and uncle seem quite happy, anyway. My mother claims to feel fine, but she still seems to be very tired. Thus, the healers have confined her to her bed for the next few weeks and I would consider it a great kindness if you would write to her from time to time._

_Please inform Tobe that I finally received news from the Lord Magistrate's office. Although a lower magistrate conducted a thorough search through Ebroin of Genlith's official and personal papers, there was nothing to indicate any wrong-doing on my father's part with regard to the matter of Tobe's mother. There was, however, a sizeable and unidentified financial transaction listed on one of the quarterly reports which was dated very close to the time that Cook's niece disappeared. _

_Unfortunately, we may never be able to prove Tobe's parentage. Ebroin claims that he cannot remember anything about any transactions from so long ago. Needless to say, I seriously doubt that. Oddly, even though she was happy to hear about Tobe's existence, our cook, Olga, does not want the boy's presence to bring shame up our House. My mother and uncle claim that they will accept whatever you and I decide to do about the matter. I am convinced that they all will have to see Tobe - and his close resemblance to my father - before they truly understand._

_The good news is that Duke Turomot says nothing should prohibit me from adopting into my family _anyone _that I want to adopt. He told me that such adoptions are easily documented and that I may add Tobe's name to the House of Stone Mountain as my brother as long as both you and the boy agree to it and sign the official papers. I only hope that Tobe still wants to become a member of our family. _

_Recently, I received letters from both Neal and Mistress Fanche and they both wrote that although Hollyrose and Jesslaw have done a fine job so far, the townsfolk miss you very much. How can they not? No one can replace you - you are the best! That's part of the reason I petitioned the king to allow you to command the garrison here after we're married. Mithros! I can hardly wait for that day to arrive._

_Mistress Fanche also wrote that despite the snow, the new inn is coming along at a fair pace. It's a good thing the carpenters finished the outer walls and the roof before the first blizzard came. If the structure can withstand those howling winds, I'll bet it will be able to withstand all the guests who'll attend our wedding. Fanche even told me that there is an experienced, former innkeeper who has eagerly taken charge of the building and is now overseeing the finishing touches on the place. I can't wait to see it with my own eyes._

_I miss you, too, Keladry of Mindelan. I just want to hold you in my arms and kiss your sweet lips for the rest of my life. May all the gods protect you and keep you safe, my love, until we are together again._

_Love, _

_Joren_

*************

* * *

The winter months seemed to pass by very slowly and the betrothed couple continued to make plans for their wedding by corresponding with each other more frequently than ever before. Joren also kept himself busy by directing several modifications within his personal living areas of the castle. He was quite pleased with the changes he had made to the private rooms he and Kel would be sharing when she returned with him. He also arranged for Tobe's set of rooms to be further down the hall from theirs for the sake of privacy.

Since Kel had never seen the inside of the castle at Stone Mountain, Joren didn't feel the need to tell her about any of the changes he'd been making to his home. He knew, though, that she would not be expecting the kind of bath he had built for them by installing a large, Yamani-style soaking tub in their private chambers. She'd also never guess that he was putting together a personal arms room just for her to house the many exquisite weapons he had been acquiring for her during his travels, including the Carthaki sword she had admired in Pearlmouth, a fancy Marenite suit of armor, and two new Yamani glaives. Nevertheless, Joren experienced a twinge of guilt whenever he opened another one of Kel's candid letters to him and read the details about all of the things she was doing.

*************

_To Lord Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_Fort Mastiff, Northwestern Tortall_

_February 3, 462 H.E._

_Dearest Joren,_

_Congratulations on the birth of your sister, Aurelia! From your description of her, she sounds like a normal, healthy baby. Please give my regards to Lady Virryn and Sir Langdon. I have written a separate congratulatory letter to them, too, but I wanted to let you know how happy I am for all of your family._

_Life at the fort isn't much different than life at the refugee camp. Sadly, it's far less exciting than I thought it would be. It's hard to believe how quickly time seems to pass and yet each day seems to drag along as slowly as honey left out in the snow. Of course, there are the patrols and the occasional skirmishes and such, but there are no young people with cut-off spears for me to train here and I never have to settle disputes between angry kitchen helpers or overwrought washer women. _

_I've recently received letters from my nephews who are pages at the palace now. Lachran is in his third year and he's sponsoring Daverel, the one who just started in the autumn. Dav has become a good friend to one of the three female pages who also entered palace training with him. Although the palace has been fairly quiet this winter, my nephews both say that all of the girls seem to be doing quite well so far. Who knows? Perhaps one of them will become my squire someday, assuming that I'll be in a position to take on a personal squire by then._

_Although I enjoy working with Lady Alanna, I am looking forward to our wedding day. I can hardly wait to meet little Aurelia - please give her a warm cuddle for me and let her know that I think she's very special. I love you, Joren of Stone Mountain, and I miss you very, very much! May all the gods bless you with health and good cheer until we are together again._

_Love,_

_Kel_

*************

The first time Joren held his little sister, he was so afraid he'd drop the squirming bundle that he immediately sat down in a chair next to his mother's bed. He quietly gave Aurelia Kel's greetings and cuddled her as he had seen others do. While he sat there, breathing in the sweet scent of new life, Joren experienced the awakening of a place deep in his heart that he hadn't known existed. Perhaps, he thought, as he lightly kissed the top of his baby sister's soft head, becoming a father earlier than he'd planned wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

It didn't take Kel very long to adjust to her new commander. She and Alanna quickly established a good working relationship with each other as well as with the male knights at the fort. The young lady knight enjoyed her private conversations with the Lioness whenever she returned from her patrols out in the snowy forests beyond Mastiff's walls. After giving her official report, the two women often sat by the hearth and chatted about a variety of things, especially Alanna's many adventures balancing knighthood with motherhood.

"What did you do when you found out you were pregnant for the first time?" Kel asked the older lady knight one afternoon as they warmed themselves by the fire and sharpened their swords and knives.

"Well," Alanna said as she examined the edge of a blade, "Things were ... difficult back then. There really _was_ a lot of work for everyone to do because of the famine and having to rebuild the kingdom and all. I had made George wait a long time - until _I_ was good and ready - before I removed my pregnancy charm." Then she sighed and placed the knife on a small table. "I won't lie to you, Kel. The first thing I did when the healer told me the 'good' news was ... well, I cried like a baby. I was mess."

Kel stared at her heroine in disbelief. "Y-you _cried_? Why were you so upset? Were you not truly ready when you ... when you took off your charm?" She secretly envied the fact that the Lioness had experienced so much freedom during the earlier part of her marriage and was surprised to hear of the woman's past distress.

"Oh, I was as ready as I'd ever be," Alanna admitted, her voice heavy with emotion, "But you have to understand, my mother _died _giving birth to me and my twin brother and my own father never recovered from her death. Sir Myles, of course, adopted me when I was grown, and he married George's mother, Eleni, much later. We have a happy family _now_, but once I knew I really was pregnant, I became scared witless that I would succumb to the same fate as my mother and that George would be left to raise our child alone."

"I ... I'm sorry for your losses," Kel said softly. "I didn't realize--"

"That was long ago - practically a different _lifetime_ ago," Alanna waved her hand dismissively and continued to speak, "Anyway, George told me I was being silly, but he was wise enough to send for help. While I was pregnant, my old nursemaid, Maude, came to Pirate's Swoop to assist me and, well, she never left. In fact, I don't believe I could have gone off on my missions for the king if she hadn't agreed to stay and help raise my children."

Kel chewed on her lower lip and then asked, "How ... how _did_ you handle your duties to the king afterward?"

"Raoul, of course," Alanna laughed. "He's always covered for me as the king's champion when there was a need, but Jon's been very considerate of my time throughout all these years. Truthfully, though, George and Maude handled most of the parenting duties when the children were very young."

It wasn't difficult for Kel to imagine the easy-going and friendly Baron of Pirate's Swoop cradling a sleeping baby in his strong arms or calming a frightened child with his gently lilting voice, but as hard as she tried, she just couldn't picture Joren doing any of those things. Although her betrothed had said he would never ask her to give up her knighthood, she knew that she'd have to face the reality of their situation. If the Goddess planned for her and Joren to become parents within the first year of their marriage, Kel realized that she'd probably have to stay at home for a while.

"Were you able to spend much time with your children as they grew older?" Kel asked as she slid her now-sharpened Griffin back into its scabbard.

"Off and on," Alanna said, picking up another knife to sharpen it. "There were always border skirmishes and tournaments, as well as applying discipline to unruly landholders and defending the king's honor. I stayed quite busy for several years, especially after the twins were born. Then there was the Immortals War and its aftermath. I suppose the most time I ever spent at home was ... was after _your_ arrival at the palace."

Kel, feeling a bit self-conscious, looked down at the floor and quietly said, "Neal once told me that you wouldn't even _speak_ to the king for a long time because of my probation and all. He said that both you and Queen Thayet were very angry."

Alanna stood up and flipped her knife over in her hand, "Yes ... that's true. Thayet and I both had high hopes for our daughters becoming knights, too, you know. We were shocked when Jon dissuaded Kalasin from becoming a page - and insulted when he allowed Wyldon to put you on probation the following year. It was just ... too much."

"What about _your_ daughter?" Kel asked almost too casually as she also stood and gathered up her polishing stones and rags. "My nephew says that he's seen her around the palace a few times, visiting with her twin. Didn't she want to follow in your footsteps?"

"Humph! After everything that happened to you, she most certainly did _not_," Alanna sounded bitter. Then she sighed and said tiredly, "Alianne is ... well, I'm not sure what Aly will do with her life. I'm hoping to have a friendly chat with her about her options the next time I'm at home."

"I didn't mean to pry, Alanna," Kel said, realizing that she'd hit upon a sore spot with the Lioness. "We don't have to talk about this anymore. I ... I'm sorry I brought it up."

"Nonsense, Kel, you can ask me anything, anything at all," Alanna insisted, turning her famous purple gaze toward the taller woman. "I've told you, this is why the Goddess put us together for a while. Who else is going to tell you about these kinds of things, hmm? We both know the answer to that question. And that reminds me, we need to finish our notes and recommendations for Padraig haMinch. By now, he's probably wondering if we've forgotten about his request for assistance and insight into the training of female pages. Let's do that now and we'll talk about other things later."

'Later' turned out to be much later. The desperate Scanrans decided that the Tortallans would be easier targets at the tail-end of such a harsh winter. Alanna led a fighting force made up of a majority of the knights and soldiers from Fort Mastiff and some from Fort Steadfast. They fought the invaders all the way north until they pushed them back across the Vassa River at Frasrlund, Tortall's most-northern harbor city.

During one of the battles, Alanna's horse, Darkmoon, pulled a tendon in his leg. Despite their best efforts, the horse healers couldn't help the poor beast, so King Jonathan granted his champion and her mount a full month's leave. The two warring countries had reached a stalemate anyway, so after everything was relatively calm, Alanna boarded one of the southbound ships and took her faithful horse home to Pirate's Swoop for a much-needed rest. She placed Kel in temporary command of Fort Mastiff's soldiers during her absence.

Of course, Tobe was quite proud of his mistress, even though he wasn't very happy whenever Kel was gone from her tent most of the day. The boy had refused to stay behind at Fort Mastiff, claiming that he'd be a great help with the soldiers' horses which, of course, was true. He eventually became more accustomed to Kel's absences, but he knew he wouldn't be able to rest easy until after the wedding and his adoption became final. One afternoon, after Kel had written to Joren to inform him that Tobe had decided to accept his offer of adoption into the Stone Mountain family, she was pleased to receive another long letter from him.

******************

_To Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_March 4, 462 H.E._

_My Dearest Kel,_

_Congratulations on capturing those Scanran stragglers who tried to invade your camp! From what you wrote in your last letter, you seem to be having a good time of it up at Frasrlund, regardless of the terrible weather this year. It's truly amazing that you've accomplished so much and yet you've only been a knight for little more than a year. I'm extremely proud that you're _my_ lady, as is everyone here at Stone Mountain. They can hardly wait to meet you! _

_Everyone also wants to meet Tobe, especially Cook. As you might imagine, the old woman broke down and cried in my office when I informed her of Tobe's acceptance of my offer to adopt him into our family. I only wish the results of the investigation hadn't been so inconclusive. Again, since all of the people here truly knew my father, I know that when they finally see Tobe, they will realize the truth. _

_It's difficult to believe that my new sister, Aurelia, is two months old already. Ari - that's what we're calling her now - is truly a marvel and I am amazed that she's so bright-eyed and alert. The servants think I'm joking when I insist that the baby is watching my every move. Honestly, I didn't know whether I'd like her or not, but she is the sweetest little thing. My mother swears that Ari looks exactly the same as I did when I was her age. At least her beauty will be more suited to her than it's been to me. _

_By the way, love, how have the responses been to your letters of invitation? Of course, my family is tiny compared to yours, but there will be representation from both sides at our wedding. My mother is feeling much, much better now and she insists on traveling to New Hope with me. I've asked Uncle Lars to stand in as my best man, in place of Uncle Langdon, who has decided to stay at Stone Mountain with little Ari because she is still too young to travel. _

_Of course, now Agnes and Spencer plan on accompanying us, too. They both declared that since they've been with my mother from the start, they'd be quite upset if they missed my wedding. I think their presence will be a comfort to Lalasa. I'm very glad that she finally agreed to be your maid of honor. Despite her station in life, she's always been a great friend to you and I am grateful for her cooperation. _

_Not surprisingly, my sister, Anniseth, and her Marenite family won't be able to attend our wedding. Duke Turomot also sends his regrets along with his congratulations. Alas, neither Sir Paxton nor my old friend, Zahir, will be able to attend the wedding, either, but they do plan to come to Stone Mountain when we have our official homecoming reception. As for any other noble guests, it seems as though they'll also wait until our reception and I think I'd prefer to see them at that event, anyway. _

_I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it a thousand more times: I love you, Keladry of Mindelan! I promise to make up for each and every day that we've spent apart. In fact, I've already started by arranging many surprises for you at Stone Mountain, all awaiting your arrival and discovery. May all the gods keep you safe and warm, my lady, until we are together again._

_Love, _

_Joren_

*************

* * *

As winter became spring, Joren almost became frantic with his preparations to travel to New Hope. Every time he believed he had everything he needed, he would think of ten more items he wished he could squeeze into the supply wagons or even his own saddlebags. He was bringing with him several gifts for his bride and her family, as well as all of the additional food and wine required for the cooks to put on a proper wedding feast at New Hope. He also was meeting up with his Uncle Lars and Lalasa in Corus so that they could travel north within the safety of the Stone Mountain men-at-arms who were accompanying their young lord to his wedding. Joren was very happy that he received one last letter before he embarked on his long trek toward Kel.

*************

_To Lord Joren of Stone Mountain_

_From Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_Frasrlund, Northwestern Tortall_

_March 20, 462 H.E._

_Dearest Joren,_

_This war has become tedious. There hasn't been any more fighting, but we can't move away from the city because the Scanrans will try to take it again. It's still snowing every other day and the roads are all hard ruts and ice. Unfortunately, Lady Alanna's horse was injured during our last battle, so the king has given her a month's leave. I will remain here at Frasrlund as the acting commander until she returns. You may continue to send letters to me addressed to the fort. They will take only an extra day or two to reach me. _

_As for our invited wedding guests, I've heard from all of my sisters and brothers and a few of my cousins. It is apparent that only my brothers and their wives will be able to attend our wedding. Both Adalia and Oranie are with child again and Demadina has family obligations. Patricine hasn't been back to Tortall in many, many years, but she also has a new little one and cannot travel now. Of course, my parents will make the trip, but I don't think any of my Seabeth or Seajen relatives are planning to come to New Hope due to the constant threats from the Scanran wolf ships along the shore. Still, I believe you should plan to bring enough wine for all of New Hope and a sizeable number of guests from the nearby forts. _

_I love you, Joren, and I miss you so very much! There is a deep ache in my heart every day and I can hardly wait until we can be together for more than a week or two at a time. Be safe and may the gods all bless you as you travel to New Hope - and to me._

_Love,_

_Kel_

*************

* * *

In mid April, Alanna returned to Frasrlund with Kel's replacement in tow. The recently-knighted Prince Liam understood that the only reason his father had allowed him so close to the enemy lines was that the war was at a stand-still. Nevertheless, the young royal was excited to have the opportunity to work with his godsmother and her soldiers in the field. Kel was pleased to have such a distinguished person as her replacement.

On the afternoon before Kel and Tobe were scheduled to depart Frasrlund, collect their belongings from Fort Mastiff and return to New Hope, Alanna asked the young lady knight to come into her tent for a chat. Sitting across from the Lioness at her camp desk, watching her heroine scribbling notes on a piece of parchment, she suddenly became nervous. Even with the knowledge that it was only temporary, Kel felt as though she was being dismissed from her duties as a knight forever.

"Blast it all!" Alanna said as she abruptly stopped writing and turned her purple gaze on Kel. "I wish I hadn't been gone for a whole month, but that couldn't be helped. Padraig haMinch sent me this long document while I was at Pirate's Swoop. He's finished reviewing our recommendations for the training of female pages and he's made his own comments based on his observations so far. It's practically turned into a book!"

"Did he agree with our advice?" Kel asked, warily glancing down at the thick pile of parchments on Alanna's desk.

"For the most part, yes," Alanna nodded. "However, we'll need to address some more of his concerns. In fact, I'd like for us to complete our guidance to the training master and send it to the palace off before the end of the summer. To that end, I've spoken to King Jonathan and he's agreed that you and Lord Joren may remain in this region for a while, after you're married. Not necessarily _this_ close to the Scanran border, but reasonably nearby - at Trebond, if you choose to do so."

Kel glanced at Alanna in surprise. "Trebond? Do you mean your old childhood home?"

"Yes, the same," Alanna nodded. "It's actually a safe distance from here and Baron Coram and his family would be delighted to have you as their guests. Their children can't wait to meet you, but you won't need to stay at the castle for very long. There's a well-appointed hunting lodge on the northwest corner of the fief's boundary. You can take this 'book' of Padraig's and review it at your leisure. The surrounding woods are full of wild game, it's near a stream with a sizeable pond andI ... and I happen to know for a fact that it's a very pleasant ... um, honeymoon spot."

Kel blinked. "Honeymoon spot?"

"Yes, you know, a place where a newlywed couple may begin to adjust to their new life together and all," Alanna said dryly, barely hiding a smirk. "I hadn't thought that such things had gone out of fashion since I wed. Surely, you understand what I mean, Kel."

Kel nodded slowly. Of course, she knew what a honeymoon was; Raoul and Buri had laughed at the idea of going away for a full month of canoodling, especially since it was no secret that they'd been at it for several years already. Kel had comforted Yuki when it was apparent that Neal and his Yamani bride would have to postpone their honeymoon due to the circumstances of the war. The heir of Queenscove and his new lady planned on having a long vacation as soon as it was feasible for them to do so, but no one knew exactly when that might be.

Honeymoons were for nobles and wealthy merchants with the free time to take them. And, now that Kel thought about it, she realized she _would_ have plenty of free time after her wedding. She wasn't opposed to the idea; it's just that she'd completely forgotten about the possibility of having a honeymoon for herself and Joren.

Alanna smiled knowingly at the expression on Kel's face. It was a good thing that the Goddess had given her this mission to help her sister knight. The young Lioness hadn't thought of such a thing as a honeymoon when she got married, either, but Coram and Rispah realized that Alanna and George deserved some time alone after all their hard work for their new king. The new Baron of Trebond and his new wife had made sure that his former charge and her new husband had a wonderful honeymoon in that hunting lodge, even though it took them the better part of a year to make it happen.

Clearing her throat to get Kel's attention, Alanna continued, "It's actually one of my gifts to you and Lord Joren. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of writing the invitation to your betrothed while I was on my way to Pirate's Swoop and I sent it to him as soon as I crawled off that blasted ship. It is my pleasure to inform you that he has wisely accepted on your behalf."

"He ... what?" Kel gasped and then immediately calmed herself and replied, "I mean, thank you, Alanna. You're too kind. I never expected--"

"I know you never expected," Alanna shook her head and explained, "That's why I've made these arrangements. I'm trying to save you from making the same mistakes I've made. You know, Kel, you _are_ allowed to have time for yourself. Don't let this life of chivalry gulp down all the good you have to offer and leave only the dregs for your home life. Certainly, you have sworn to serve the king - as we all have done - but I want you to understand that you _need_ to spend time alone with your man and, when they come, your children--" Her voice caught in her throat and she stopped speaking.

Kel sat there, stunned for a moment, before she spoke again, "Is everything alright at home? You sound ... upset." She didn't want to pry again, but Alanna had a faraway look in her eyes.

"It's nothing," Alanna sighed. "Just another petty argument - in a long line of petty arguments - with my wayward daughter. Perhaps, if I had spent more time at home training _her_ instead of gallivanting all over the place, she might be a page with her brother today. As it is, we had a disagreement and Alianne sailed away to visit with some friends in Port Legann. She didn't even come back to say goodbye to me before I had to return here."

"Oh," was all that Kel could say.

Suddenly, Alanna reached across the desk and squeezed Kel's hand. "Learn from me, Kel! Don't worry about this war - it's only going to grind along until King Maggot stops being such a fool and realizes that he cannot win. I'm glad I was able to convince Jon to let Prince Liam come up here for some field experience and he'll do fine in your place. Now, I want you to return to New Hope, marry Lord Joren and enjoy every moment of your honeymoon. Take time out for yourself while you can and do _not_ show your face at Mastiff until a full month has past, understand? Goddess bless, Kel. You are dismissed!"

Kel felt her eyes stinging as she stood and saluted Alanna. All she could say was, "Goddess bless, Lady Alanna. And thank you - for everything." Then she quickly exited the tent before the Lioness growled about Kel using her formal name. The only thing that made the evening bearable was the discovery of a folded and sealed parchment on her bedroll when she returned to her tent.

******************

_To Lady Keladry of Mindelan_

_From Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain_

_April 2, 462 H.E._

_My Dearest Kel,_

_This is my last letter to you before I leave Stone Mountain. The snows have melted, the supply wagons are all packed and I am counting the days until we'll see each other again. I'm so glad your letter dated March 20th arrived before I departed the castle. I also heard from Lady Alanna and she has extended to us a very gracious offer of special lodging on the grounds of Fief Trebond after our wedding. I'll tell you more about it when I see you. _

_My mother and Uncle Langdon are quite happy together and watching them with little Ari is sometimes a bit like torture to my lonely soul. I want what they have and more. My vivid dreams of you every night and my wild daydreams about you fill me with a longing for you that never stops. Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll lose all control when I see you again. _

_Yesterday, as I was packing my saddlebags, I discovered one last packet of the Bazhir tea and I confess that I almost succumbed to the temptation to start drinking it again. Instead, threw it into the flames and watched it burn. Since you cannot relieve your discomfort, I will not seek ways to relieve mine, either. I will try my best to behave until our wedding night. Still, I don't know what might happen when I'm finally with you again; so, for the sake of propriety, perhaps you should ask Neal to stay nearby. _

_Kel, my love, mere words cannot express how much I love you and miss you. It fills me with great joy to know that when we return to Stone Mountain, we'll be husband and wife. May the gods all bless you and keep you safe. I'll see you soon!_

_All my love - always,_

_Joren_

******************

* * *

One late afternoon, three days prior to Beltane, the guards at New Hope alerted their leader, Sir Owen of Jesslaw, that a sizeable group of people on horseback, accompanied by several horse-drawn wagons, was approaching the town's gates. Since they'd been expecting this particular party of travelers, Owen didn't waste any time; he sent Tobe off to fetch Merric and Neal. Then he went in search of Kel, who was at New Hope's brand new inn, the Steel Griffin, whose name honored the lady knight's victorious blade. She was discussing the final lodging plans for all her wedding guests with the innkeeper, Master Gannaf Tannerson and when she saw Owen's big grin, her eyes lit up and she politely excused herself to accompany her friend to the gates.

The Lord of Stone Mountain had barely announced himself and his party to the gate guards when Owen and Kel arrived. Neal, Merric and Fanche soon followed Tobe there, and many other townsfolk came out to greet their long-awaited visitors. Joren dismounted Shadow Dancer and bowed low to Kel while she curtsied to him - after she finished her morning training and bath, she'd put on a simple, blue gown made of lightweight wool, in anticipation of her betrothed's arrival. Joren just stared at her for a moment and then, in full view of everyone, he quickly swept Kel into his arms and kissed her hungrily. In response, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him just the same.

There were plenty of hoots and whistles from the growing crowd of onlookers, but the happy couple ignored them while they enjoyed their reunion. Both Kel and Joren managed to look a bit sheepish when they finally broke off their kiss. They knew they probably wouldn't be able to kiss like that for the next few days until after their wedding ceremony. But they held each other's hands while everyone else dismounted and began to make introductions.

Merric welcomed the travelers to New Hope and Kel was very pleased to see Lalasa, Lady Virryn, Spencer, Baron Lars, Agnes, and all the people who had safely escorted Joren back to her. There were many smiles and hugs, as well as a few happy tears as the townspeople became acquainted with the travelers. Fanche directed the supply wagons to the cookhouse and storage sheds so that the servants could offload the crates of food and casks of wine for the wedding feast. Owen directed the men-at-arms to the barracks, while Neal offered to help anyone with their aches and pains incurred during their journey.

Everything was fine until Joren's mother met Tobe. As soon as Lady Virryn saw the blue-eyed, blond boy, her eyes welled up with tears and she wasn't able to speak. Even though Joren had warned her, she truly was not prepared to see someone who looked so much like Lord Burchard. There was no doubt in her mind that anyone who knew her late husband would see the resemblance immediately. Here was the living proof that she'd been correct in her accusations against Burchard so many years ago. All she was able to do was nod curtly at Tobe and tug on Joren's arm so that he would take her to the inn.

Tobe glanced up at Kel and asked, "Did I do something wrong, my lady?"

"No, Tobe," Kel gently answered, "_You_ did nothing wrong. It might take Lady Virryn a bit of time to adjust to your presence, that's all. Just be your wonderful self and she'll come around. You'll see."

When all of the travelers were settled into their various rooms and lodgings, Lalasa asked if she could bring some things to Kel's rooms at the inn. The seamstress wanted to show the bride-to-be her wedding gown and other garments she'd brought with her. Kel and Tobe helped Lalasa carry several cloth-wrapped bundles to her bedchamber and watched as the talented woman shook out the beautiful, well-made gowns.

The lady knight was speechless as she stared at the array of colorful fabric strewn across her bed. She gasped at the sight of her wedding gown - a pale blue creation that was so beautiful it brought tears to her eyes. Kel also noticed the special insect-wing thin chemise and loincloth that she'd have to wear under her wedding gown and a shiver ran down her back. Lalasa caught Kel staring at the nearly see-through garments and blushed, too. Both women waited for Tobe to close the door behind him before they embraced each other with sisterly warmth.

"It's so good to see you, Lalasa!" Kel exclaimed as she released her hold on the older woman. "And these gowns ... oh! They're magnificent!"

"I hope you like them, Lady Kel," Lalasa said in her soft voice as she turned to smooth out nonexistent wrinkles from a russet red kirtle and a dark blue velvet surcoat. "I've been designing these for you ever since you told me you were sweet on Lord Joren. I just knew that if you didn't kill each other first, you'd end up together - well, eventually, that is."

Kel giggled. "So, you're finally at peace with my decision to marry our former enemy?"

"It's very strange, Lady Kel," Lalasa admitted, "I believe he's actually won me over because he won _you_ over. I've never seen a man so sincere in his complete devotion to a woman. You know that Tian and I hear _all _the gossip from the ladies who come to my shop. There are no rumors whatsoever about Lord Joren bedding all sorts of women the way his father did - or even the way he used to do when he was our enemy, as you say. He's a changed man, alright, but I still don't know if he's truly good enough for you. It's a shame that Sir Cleon or even Sir Neal--"

Kel held up her hand to stop Lalasa from finishing her statement, "Thank you, Lalasa, for everything. Sir Cleon and Sir Neal are my friends and they are happily married. I love Joren with all my heart and I truly appreciate you traveling this far and agreeing to stand up for me at our wedding as my maid of honor. Now, tell me, how is your Uncle Gower? And how is Tian?" And with that, the two women examined all of the gowns, made plans for the final fittings and chatted pleasantly until it was time to go to supper in the mess hall.

The inn was so new that Master Gannaf wasn't able to serve much more than thin stew, hard bread and ale; therefore, he wasn't offended by his guests not eating their meals in his tavern. Someday, once there was more food available and he was able to hire a cook and more serving girls, Gannaf planned to make a lot of money off of the folks who traveled along the nearby Great Road North. People would pay well to stay in the place named for the sword of the Protector of the Small.

"I'm still not sure it's proper for me to stand with you, my lady," Lalasa shyly admitted as they walked to the mess hall together. "You're really certain that there weren't any noble maidens who could be here for you?"

"Yes, Lalasa, I'm really certain about that," Kel reassured her former maid, "I'm the youngest girl in all of my family, so everyone else is already married. I do have one niece who's fifteen, but she hasn't been presented at court yet and her father - my brother-in-law from the extremely conservative branch of the haMinch clan - wouldn't allow her to come, anyway. He barely tolerates my family and I truly feel sorry for my sister."

"And you've asked all of your other female relatives and friends?" Lalasa asked.

"Lalasa,_ please_! I thought this was all settled," Kel replied, sounding exasperated. "I truly want _you_ to be my maid of honor. The rest of my nieces and cousins are too young. As you well know, I don't have many female friends - in fact, none that aren't already married or widowed. Besides,_ you've_ always worshipped the Goddess, so you'll be able to help me with all these fussy preparations. I never knew there was so much involved with this bridal sacrifice!"

Lalasa blushed and ducked her head, "I'm sorry, Lady Kel, I just wanted to be sure. You've been so good to me; I promise I'll do my best not to embarrass you. At least I'll be able to dress you and fix your hair nicely."

"You won't embarrass me, Lalasa," Kel insisted. "I'm proud to have you stand beside me." Then she smiled mischievously at her former maid and said, "I only ask that you _not_ use any hair lotion on my head. I still have nightmares of how awful that was at Adie's wedding!" Then she shuddered dramatically, which caused both of them to laugh as they entered the mess hall.

* * *

After supper, Joren walked with Kel back to the Steel Griffin's tavern. Not wanting to tempt himself any further with Kel's physical presence, the young lord had decided to stay in one of the guest rooms at the headquarters building, right next door to Merric's private rooms. Still, Joren could feel Kel's warmth and smell her unique scent as they held hands and strolled into the inn. It was all he could do to keep himself from dragging her off to the stables for a tumble.

Kel led Joren to an empty table in the back corner of the large room where they could sit and talk somewhat privately. There were plenty of people nearby who could - and would - act as corporate chaperones. Some of the townsfolk had begun to come to the inn's tavern for a drink of ale at the end of their long days of hunting and trapping or tilling and planting, so the place was nearly full. Folks who could play instruments filled the room with the merry sounds of their improvised music while other people played cards or dice games. Once the young couple was seated on opposite sides of the table, Kel pulled out a scroll, unrolled it and slid it across the wooden surface for Joren to read.

"What's this?" he asked her.

"They are the most ancient wedding vows of the Goddess worshippers," Kel replied. "Priestess Osa gave me this scroll to examine. Have you ever seen these words before?"

Joren studied the vows for a moment before he looked up and nodded, "My uncle showed me a similar document back at Dunmoor."

"So ... you agree with this?" Kel asked in a careful tone of voice. "_All_ of it?"

A slow, crooked smile spread across Joren's face as he replied, "Especially the lines about your name and your eyes. Yes, Kel, these are our vows and I promise I'll abide by them. That's why I wanted you to speak with the priestesses for yourself. Do _you_ agree to these vows?"

Kel chewed on her bottom lip and then she nodded slowly. A shiver ran down her spine as she realized that in only two days, they would stand before the altar of the Goddess and repeat the words on the scroll in front of them. Even though she thought she knew Joren very well, she hadn't been sure that he would want to say the wedding vows as they were written. She wouldn't have been surprised if he had wanted to make adjustments to them. Smiling shyly at him, she rolled up the scroll and then brought up another topic.

"Do you have ... the tent?" she asked.

Nodding again, he said, "Yes, and I've already delivered it to the Daughters of the Goddess for their inspection. A few of our servants from Stone Mountain will put it up wherever the priestesses tell them to put it. Do you know where it's going to go?"

"Yes, in the wheat field," Kel replied. "That's the place where everyone says is the best for ... for our sacrifice. Most of these northern woodsmen have done this for centuries. I never knew about it. Now I know more than ever wanted to know."

Joren chuckled, "Me, too." Then his face became serious and he said, "Mithros, Kel, I want you so much! When you came out to greet us today and I saw you dressed as a lady - _my_ lady - again, I almost took you away right then. I could sit here and stare at you all night."

"Joren, if my skirts are going to pose a problem for you, then I'll just wear shirts and breeches until Beltane. I only wore this dress today to ... to please you," Kel said and then she reached across the table to grasp Joren's hand.

He squeezed her hand in his slightly larger and swallowed hard before he said, "I am _very_ pleased, my love. But perhaps ... _perhaps_ breeches would be the best thing for you to wear for the next few days. We both know I haven't had any of the Bazhir tea since we left Fort Steadfast - and, well, naturally, neither have you. Honestly, though, at this point, I don't know if skirts or breeches will truly make a difference."

"It's only two more nights, Joren," Kel said. "Two more nights. Most of that time, I'll be with the women and you'll be with the men. It's a simple as that. I'll wear my breeches and we'll both be fine."

"Alright, then, here's what I'll do for now," Joren declared. "I'm going to kiss you goodnight, Kel, but only on your hand. Then I'm going to get up, bow to you, and walk out of here. I want you to wait here until you're reasonably sure that I've had enough time to make it back to the headquarters building. After that, you can go to your own rooms safely. If we get up from this table at the same time, I can't promise you that I won't try to carry you off with me tonight."

Kel felt her breath catch in her throat. Of course she understood that Joren was trying to behave within the Code of Chivalry. She knew better than anyone else that Joren had worked very hard to attain a level of integrity and morality that neither his father nor many other men had ever even attempted to achieve. Kel knew she should appreciate Joren's honorable actions and his protectiveness toward her. But all she wanted was a hug - and, well, perhaps a kiss or two ... or maybe a bit more. Seeing her folly, she finally sighed in resignation and held out her hand for Joren to kiss it.

Caressing the inside of her wrist with his thumb, Joren gently kissed the back of Kel's hand once, twice, three times. He hesitated before he released his grip and then stifled a groan as he sat back in his chair. Kel's eyes were the most alluring shade of green-hazel and he knew without a single doubt she wanted him as much as he wanted her. It would be so easy, he thought, to vault over the table and have his way with her right then and there. Instead, Joren forced himself to calm down before he stood up and adjusted his tunic, bowed to Kel, wished her sweet dreams and stiffly walked out into the late spring night. It would be a very long two days and two nights until he'd no longer have to sleep alone.

Kel forced herself to stay seated at the table until she thought Joren probably had walked far enough away not to run back to her - or for her to chase after him and look foolish. Then she got up, placed a coin on Gannaf's countertop and retired to her rooms for the night. Prior to climbing into her bed, the lady knight performed a long series of exercises she hoped would make her too tired to dream. Afterward, she splashed cold water on her face and tried not to think about the way Joren's sky-blue eyes twinkled in the tavern's dim light. It would be a very long two days and two nights until she'd no longer have to sleep alone.

* * *

**A/N: Although it has taken me **_**forever**_** (well, 68 chapters, anyway) to get here, I've finally reached my start point. =D Parts of this chapter and most of the next two chapters actually are what I began with as ideas for an alternate universe K/J story back in November of 2008. Everything I've written here since then was so that I could bring the characters to this place now. I plan to update again on August 27th, which is my own wedding anniversary. :D :D :D So, next time, while I'm out celebrating, you can read all the fluffy stuff I'm writing especially for those of you who love it. ;D Please review this chapter so that I'll know what you think of it. Thanks! :D**


	70. A Marriage of Equals

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: The Celtic wedding vows I used in this chapter are adapted, with apologies, from the book ****Finn MacCool**** by Morgan Llewelyn. Otherwise, Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything else in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Yay! Today is my own 15th wedding anniversary!! =D As promised, Kel and Joren's wedding day is finally here, too! ^_^ Even though there's a lot of fluff in this chapter, I'm fairly sure that I've stayed away from the 'M' rating. Having said that, please remember that some occasions **_**do**_** tend to be fluffy to the extreme. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_You cannon possess me for I belong to myself_

_But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give._

_You cannon command me, for I am a free person_

_But I shall serve you in those ways you require_

_and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand._

_I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night_

_and the eyes into which I smile in the morning._

_I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup._

_I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care._

_I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine._

_I shall not slander you, nor you me._

_I shall honor you above all others, and when we quarrel we shall do so in private and tell no strangers our grievances._

_This is my wedding vow to you._

_This is the marriage of equals._

_-- Morgan Llywelyn, __Finn MacCool_

* * *

**A Marriage of Equals**

On the eve of Beltane, a heavy mist blanketed the entire Greenwoods River Valley. There was no rain, but in the morning the leaves on every tree and plant were dripping with dew. This was a good thing since the local folklore stated that anyone who washed with the dew of Beltane would have clear, unblemished skin in the year to come. The women of New Hope cheerfully went out and gathered the moisture into pots and jars. Later, as they danced around the maypole, the townsfolk agreed that such a plentiful 'harvest' of morning dew was a good omen for the wedding which would take place at sunset.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_You cannot possess me for I belong to myself_

_But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give._

_You cannot command me for I am a free person_

_But I shall serve you in those ways you require_

_and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain, had spent most of his younger days thinking that he could have anything he desired, no matter how great or trivial. After all, he had owned a roomful of toys, several well-trained dogs and ponies, and lots of expensive clothing during his formative years. His parents, especially his father, had indulged the boy to such an extent that the young heir actually believed he owned his manservant, Spencer, and refused to attend page training without the man. Later, when he became a squire, Joren even believed that he could own any woman he desired, including Keladry of Mindelan. He hated to admit it, but he was glad that she was so stubborn.

Now, as he prepared for one of the most important events of his life, Joren was aware that he never truly had owned Spencer and that he never would own Kel. Spencer had given his service to the young lord freely, as a duty honorably fulfilled. Kel offered her love to Joren freely, but only after he finally understood that she would not forsake her knighthood to become the lady he originally had wanted her to become. Joren intended to let Kel know that he belonged to her alone.

It had been a very long time since the young lord had thought of his faithful servant as a possession, like a pet or a toy. Joren truly had missed Spencer during his travels over the past three years and he'd cherished every moment of the man's excellent service to him ever since his return. No one knew Joren the way Spencer knew Joren, and as the groom-to-be submerged his body into the special bath Spencer had prepared for him, he was especially grateful that the wise old man has insisted on accompanying him to New Hope.

"This isn't my regular soap, is it?" Joren asked, wrinkling his nose. "It's not a bad scent, but I can't seem to place it. Mithros! This water almost smells ... _earthy_. Like clean dirt - if there can be such a thing."

Spencer replied with a small grin, "It's the groom's bath scent. One of the priestesses delivered a packet to me last night and instructed me to mix it into your bathwater this afternoon. I don't know exactly which leaves or herbs went into its making, but I do know that you'll only need it for _this_ particular bath."

Joren nodded. He wasn't surprised; this was one of the many traditions his Uncle Lars had explained to him during their last deep conversation. In preparation for the wedding ceremony, both the groom and the bride were required to take a specially-scented bath before they donned their wedding attire. Before the invention of tents, the ancient Goddess worshippers actually had to lure their prospective mates into the marriage cave or burrow; so they determined the best combination of fragrances for attracting the opposite sex. The custom of the ritual baths had survived through the centuries, but Joren wasn't sure that he understood the point of it all. He certainly wouldn't need to lure Kel into the special tent, because she'd already be inside of it, waiting for him.

According to ancient customs, the bride and groom also had to fast all day until after they said their vows. The celebratory banquet could not begin until the couple consummated their marriage and emerged from the tent. If the Goddess accepted and blessed their bridal sacrifice, the ground would tremble and everyone would feel a pleasant shockwave ripple through the air around them. Joren knew that Kel would be extremely hungry when they went into the tent and quite embarrassed when they went came out of it, so he vowed to do everything in his power to make the experience as painless as possible for his bride.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan was so hungry she almost wanted to cry. The pre-wedding fast was one of the things that had annoyed her the most when the priestesses first informed her of it. At that moment, all she could think about was the magnificent food that the cooks were preparing. It didn't help matters that her specially-scented bridal bath smelled like apples and cinnamon. Kel swore as her stomach growled for the hundredth time that day. Lady Ilane, who had arrived at New Hope with her husband the previous afternoon, was assisting Lalasa with Kel's ritual bath and she gently reprimanded her youngest daughter.

"Keladry!" Ilane softly exclaimed. "You should try to relax and stop thinking about your stomach. You've fasted before - as part of your Ordeal of Knighthood. Besides, it's only one day and there will be plenty of food later on."

"I know, Mama, but it's nearly impossible to not think about food," Kel answered, sounding forlorn, "I've spoken to the cooks so often during the past few days that I know tonight's menu by heart. Every time a breeze flows through the window, I can smell each dish they're preparing. In fact, I can almost _taste_ the air!"

Both Ilane and Lalasa paused to sniff the air. They understood what Kel meant - the kitchens were like beehives, buzzing with activity. All of the cooks had been working since well before dawn to get everything ready for the tremendous wedding banquet that evening. At that precise moment, the delicious fragrance of roasted boar and braised venison made the women's mouths water. Despite the warm day, Lalasa walked over and closed the window.

Kel glared at her mother and her maid of honor, "See what I mean? This is _worse_ than the fast before my Ordeal of Knighthood, Mama! While I was down in the chapel, waiting for the Chamber to open, I couldn't smell the foods being prepared in the palace kitchens. By the time we've spoken our wedding vows, I'll be ready to do _anything_ Joren asks of me if it means that we'll get to break this blasted fast sooner."

Ilane chuckled and said, "Be careful about what you commit yourself to do, dear. Once a man knows a person's weaknesses, he'll always be tempted to use those weaknesses against that person. I'm sure that Joren - like everyone else who knows you - understands by now that he shouldn't place himself between you and your meals. Just be patient, darling, and remember, no one may eat even a single bite of food before the two of you do."

Kel stepped out of the tub, dried off, and prepared to don her wedding clothes. She nearly lost her nerve when Lalasa handed her the special bridal chemise and loincloth that she was supposed to wear under her pale blue satin gown. Both of the undergarments were made of the sheerest material Kel had ever seen and she hesitated for a long moment before she could bring herself to put them on.

"Where's the breastband?" Kel asked. "Is it made of this light material, too? I mean, _really_, what's the point?"

"Um ... there isn't a breastband, my lady," Lalasa answered, her cheeks becoming quite red.

"I believe that _expediency _is the point, dear," Ilane remarked quietly. "Those who follow the ways of the Great Goddess still believe that there is a 'goddess' within each woman, longing to be worshipped as the most beautiful and desirable deity in the home. Be glad you get to wear anything at all. My great-grandmother once told me that the women back in ancient days wore only animal skins with nothing on underneath - and there were no tents, either. I'll bet they were hungry, too."

Kel sighed and put on the undergarments. Priestess Osa had explained to her that all of the pre-wedding ceremony preparations were designed to expedite the post-wedding ceremony activities. Kel forced herself not to think about Joren's reaction to seeing her clad only in the gauzy garments after the priestesses removed her fancy gown. At least, she thought, if he likes what he sees and acts accordingly, I just might get to eat sooner rather than later.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Baron Piers quickly blinked back the tears in his hazel eyes as he escorted his youngest daughter to the altar. Although he'd taken a similar walk four times before, this time was the most special for him because it was with Kel. He had never thought that his lady knight of a daughter would ever get married, especially with the reputation she'd acquired throughout her years of training and living in such close proximity to men. And Piers would never have chosen the young man who was waiting at the altar, but he couldn't deny that the handsome lord was the mate his favorite daughter had chosen for herself.

When they reached the front of the temple of the Goddess, Piers kissed Kel on her cheek and then he placed her hand into Joren's hand. Squeezing them together, Piers then kissed both of their hands, signifying that he both approved of and was happy with their union. After nodding to Joren, the older man released his hold on the couple's clasped hands and stepped back into the assembly to stand next to Lady Ilane.

Joren, who looked devastatingly handsome in a black velvet tunic over a white shirt and sky blue hose, only had eyes for his lovely bride. The pale blue wedding gown that Lalasa had designed for Kel accentuated every curve she possessed, while creating the illusion that she had a few more curves than were actually there. Even Joren's best man, his Uncle Lars, who was standing next to him as Kel and her father approached the altar, made a small sound of surprise and admiration. Joren suddenly remembered what Sir Khalid had said so long ago about wanting to be the _only_ man who knew exactly what his wife looked like beneath her robes and veils and he had a strong desire to throw a cloak around his bride in an attempt to hide her from every other man's view.

The Daughters of the Goddess began the wedding ceremony by greeting the assembled townsfolk and wedding guests, including Lady Alanna, Lord Raoul and Buri, as well as the members of both the bride's and the groom's families. Then the priestesses read aloud the betrothal vows Kel and Joren had made several months earlier and asked them to confirm their intentions to marry before the Goddess and her servants. Then the couple began to say their vows to each other.

As was the custom before the altar of the Goddess, Kel spoke first and Joren repeated the statements after him. Neither of them ever glanced at the scroll on which the ancient vows were written - they already knew all the words by heart. It didn't take very long, and when the priestesses declared them to be married in the eyes of the Goddess as well as the laws of Tortall, everyone cheered.

Joren was still gazing into Kel's eyes as he slowly leaned in to kiss her lips. She surprised him once again by swiftly cupping his face in her hands and kissing him first. It was extremely difficult for either of them to break away from the other because they wanted to keep inhaling their alluring scents. To Joren's nose, Kel smelled exactly like one of his favorite desserts and to Kel's nose, Joren smelled exactly like the forest after a perfect day's ride. The newlywed couple embraced and kissed passionately until Baron Lars tapped Joren on the shoulder and reminded him to move along. Most of the onlookers continued to clap and whistle, anyway.

The time had come for Joren and Kel to lead the procession of people out of the temple and toward the white tent in the middle of the recently-planted wheat field. The sun was low in the western sky and Kel was extremely glad that the simple white veil covering her head allowed her to not make direct eye contact with anyone. She wished that everyone didn't know what was supposed to happen next. And she truly wished the townsfolk would stop sing their traditional songs about the upcoming event.

Priestess Kafnani stood guard outside the tent with Joren while Lalasa and Priestess Osa escorted Kel inside of it. There was still some light outside and the new bride was able to see that the interior of the tent was pleasantly clean and looked almost cozy. Earlier that day, the Daughters had prepared a circular area in the sacred soil on the floor of the tent and had laid a thin white muslin sheet over it. Now Osa informed Kel that she and Joren would need to lay in the center of the sheet and that they were not to worry because the cloth couldn't hinder the sacrifice from seeping into the ground.

Chewing on her lower lip, Kel barely controlled her trembling body while Lalasa and Osa removed her wedding outfit - gown and veil, as well as shoes and stockings - and neatly placed everything in the far corner of the tent. Then the women kissed her on both cheeks, wished her well, and exited through the tent flap, leaving Kel standing there all alone, wearing next to nothing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night_

_and the eyes into which I smile in the morning._

_I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup._

_I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care._

_I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine._

_I shall not slander you, nor you me._

_I shall honor you above all others, and when we quarrel we shall do so in private and tell no strangers our grievances._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

While the Lalasa and the priestess undressed Kel inside the tent, Joren stared across the open field at everyone who had gathered there out side of it. It _was_ a bit disconcerting that so many people were standing around, singing and laughing and waiting for him and Kel to fulfill their vows. At least, Joren thought, they wouldn't have to endure the presence of an official witness in the tent with them. He still felt sorry for his year-mate, Prince Roald, who'd had to consummate his vows with his royal bride while a Mithran priest sat behind a screen in their bedchamber.

Joren had been looking forward to this moment for such a long time. If all went as planned, everyone in the town would feel the impact of their wedding sacrifice as soon as the Goddess accepted it. The time had come for him to prove to the world that Keladry of Mindelan truly was and always had been a virgin. He only wished that his conservative friends and associates could witness the event for themselves and not just find about it through rumor and hearsay.

Once Joren closed and fastened the tent flap behind him, he quickly shed his clothes and carelessly left them in a pile at his now-bare feet. Even though he normally was quite vain, he simply didn't care about looking rumpled later on. Momentarily stunned by the vision of Kel dressed in the sheerest piece of clothing he'd ever seen outside of certain establishments, Joren couldn't speak at first. He had forced his mind not to think about those awful days, but his body definitely remembered that he hadn't been with a woman for more than five years. Closing his eyes, Joren took a deep, calming breath and willed himself to go slowly.

Meanwhile, as Kel waited for Joren to open his eyes, her stomach grumbled impatiently and she suddenly felt like the inexperienced maiden that she was. She was tempted to cross her arms over her chest in a feeble attempt to hide what the sheer garments didn't. The rational part of Kel's brain reminded her that Joren already seen her the one time she'd been bold enough to stand naked in front of him. The silly part of her brain screamed that Joren had been under the influence of that stupid Bazhir tea back then. A quick glance downward informed Kel that her new husband certainly didn't seem to be subdued now. Perhaps this wouldn't take too long after all.

Joren had a feeling that despite the older women's talks with her, Kel didn't know exactly what she should do first, so he opened his eyes and settled the matter quickly by closing the gap between them and pulling her into a snug embrace. Then he kissed her deeply. He stopped when he realized that she wasn't kissing him back. Instead, his new wife - his strong and brave lady knight of a wife - was shaking like a leaf in the wind. When he gazed at her face, Joren was shocked to see tears glistening in Kel's wonderful green-hazel eyes. His heart sank a little at the worried expression on his bride's face and the trembling he felt in her body.

"Kel, love, what's the matter?" Joren's voice was filled with concern as he asked, "Did I ... say or do something wrong?"

She shook her head and a single tear rolled down her cheek. Now Joren became more concerned. He couldn't recall ever seeing Kel cry before.

"You're going to think I'm being silly," she replied slowly. "But ... but I ... I'm hungry - really, really hungry."

"I'm hungry, too, love," his voice was hoarse with passion, "Only ... not for food. In fact, I'd say I've been _starving_ for a very long time."

Kel shivered more and her heart beat faster. She understood exactly what Joren meant, and it made her blush all over. Of course, she also could hear the townsfolk outside the tent singing traditional songs while waiting for the couple to do what they were supposed to do. The wedding feast could not begin until after they made their sacrifice, so she began to remove the rest of her clothing.

"Here, let me help you with that," Joren whispered into her ear and smoothly took care of that task.

Now that there was nothing between them, Kel felt bold enough to sink down onto the special sheet, pulling Joren down to the ground on top of her and ask, "Would it be possible for you to ... um, do this quickly so that we can ... um, so that we can break our fast?" Then, as if on cue, her stomach growled loudly.

Joren couldn't help but to laugh. He knew it shouldn't have surprised him that Kel would be eager. After all, hadn't he seen the light and the heat in her green-hazel eyes a thousand times or more? Didn't they both want this union more than anything at that moment? It was simply absurd to him that Kel wanted him to hurry so that she could eat. He'd been trying to go nice and slow so that their first time together as a married couple wouldn't be too painful for her. However, if 'quick' was what Kel wanted, then who was he to complain? Theirs was a marriage of equals and he was resolved to that.

"Alright, _wife_," Joren said through his chuckling, "Since we're in the proper position and all, I shall oblige you this time - _but_ ... I want a trade-off."

"A trade-off?" Kel exclaimed, not wanting to believe what she'd just heard. Joren hadn't asked for a 'trade-off' in many years. "What do you--?"

"Want?" he finished her question. "I want _you_, of course. But I want your undivided attention even more. I realize you're hungry for food right now and you're worried about all those people outside this tent, so I'll honor your request." Then he pressed his body down into hers and growled playfully into her ear, "But later, my love, once we and our guests have enjoyed our fine food and wine and no one cares about what you and I are doing, I want every bit of you. Promise me, Kel, I'll get to go _slowly_ next time."

Kel nodded and hoarsely agreed to the trade-off. Then, because they'd always sealed their private deals with a kiss, Joren kissed her and she kissed him back. He kissed her with a searing passion that she recognized from so many times before, but she knew she didn't have to shrink away from his intensity anymore. They were married now; this is what they were _supposed_ to do. And, true to his word, he was quick. When Kel became Joren's true wife, no one heard her scream his name because his lips had covered hers in a deep, muffling kiss.

The moment their sacrifice seeped through the white cloth and into the sacred soil beneath it, everyone, including the newlywed couple felt the earth beneath them shudder. The movement of the ground wasn't as intense as an earthquake and most of the people had been anticipating such a reaction, but it was impressive in its own way. A great shout of joy rose up from the wedding guests as the Goddess' blessings rippled through the surrounding lands and air. No one doubted any longer that Keladry of Mindelan had been a virgin.

More cheers and applause, as well as hoots and whistles, greeted the happy, red-faced couple when they emerged from the tent. They had put on their wedding clothes again and Kel now wore her veil pinned back away from her face like the other married women. After many hugs from family and friends for Kel and lots of slaps on the back and shoulders for Joren, the newlyweds led the procession of townsfolk and guests to the mess hall where the cooks served a fabulous wedding banquet. In accordance with their vows, Joren lovingly fed Kel from his plate first and then she fed him in return.

There were many toasts to the couple's good health and prosperity, and the celebration went on for quite a while with music and dancing and lots of story-telling. While she was dancing with her new husband, Kel realized that since she no longer was hungry, she now wanted to give Joren his trade-off as soon as it was polite for them to excuse themselves from the party. When she whispered into his ear that she was ready to leave, his face turned pink with excitement and he whispered back that he'd look for an opportunity to make their escape soon. They didn't have to wait very long.

Baron Piers of Mindelan had been watching his daughter and her new husband for signs of fatigue or boredom or merely the desire to do other things and he figured it was time to send the happy couple off to bed. So, the father of the bride offered the final toast of the evening and bid everyone a good Beltane night. The townsfolk and wedding guests then 'escorted' the new Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain all the way to their bedchambers, singing one last bawdy song to them for further 'inspiration.'

The newlyweds merely smiled and waved to everyone when they reached the door to their rooms, and then they closed and locked it behind them before they both collapsed in a tangle of arms and legs on top of their bed. Joren held Kel in his arms, and Kel answered Joren, kiss for kiss and caress for caress. This time, he wouldn't allow her to remove any of her clothes. Instead, _he_ took them off, piece by piece, kissing each exposed portion of her skin as he uncovered it. When they both were bare again, they slid under the bedcovers to stay warm.

"So ... what do we do now?" Kel asked, sounding so innocent that Joren almost laughed again.

"I told you," Joren drawled haughtily, "I'm going to go slowly this time." And he drew lazy circles on her smooth, muscular shoulder with his finger.

Kel sighed. "Everyone talks about the pain and all, so I really expected that, but the Daughters of the Goddess also talked about ... about the way it would be ... after. And I know you said we'd go slowly this time, but ..." Kel felt so embarrassed by her forwardness that she pulled her pillow on top of her face. Even so, Joren clearly heard her say, "But ... I ... I'm not sure I _can_ wait any longer."

"Oh, no you don't, not _this _time," he purred into her ear, "It's _my_ turn to get what I want. Trust me, Kel; I think you'll like this." And she did.

Kel discovered that Joren's love amd passion for her was a wondrous thing. His hands and his lips lovingly worshipped every inch of her body as she became the personal goddess of their marriage bed. Joren discovered, to his great surprise, that Kel was nearly insatiable; she more than matched him in her desire to stay in bed and have fun together. Theirs was a marriage of equals and he rejoiced in that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_This is my wedding vow to you._

_This is a marriage of equals._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The first time Joren of Stone Mountain met Keladry of Mindelan, he hated her and the feeling was mutual. The first time Joren saw Keladry dressed up as a young lady at her sister's wedding, with fancy hair and face paint, he wanted her for his own, but the feeling was _not_ mutual. Over the next few years, Joren learned that if he wanted to build a life with Kel, he would have to accept her as she was without trying to change her. By the time Joren and Kel stood in front of the altar of the Goddess and exchanged their wedding vows, they both loved and cared for each other equally. Theirs was a marriage of equals and they were at peace with that.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Far away, at the royal palace in Corus, King Jonathan had felt the effect of Kel and Joren's sacrifice in such a powerful way that he reached out for his wife, Queen Thayet, and they did not leave their own bed that night. Jon always felt each and every such offering because of his magical bond with all the land of Tortall, so he and Thayet usually stayed close together on Beltane, when many couples wed. They usually looked forward to the holiday every year, but Alanna had notified them that _this_ year was going to be very special because of the Great Goddess' involvement with the noble couple's wedding sacrifice. It was indeed one of the best Beltane celebrations the monarchs had ever experienced.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

In the Divine Realms, the Great Mother Goddess smiled down upon the young lovers at New Hope and sent her blessings throughout the land. Not only would the town of New Hope be blessed with several years of abundant harvests and thriving herds of livestock and farm animals, but so would the whole region - including a small sliver of Scanran territory along and across the Vassa River. Additionally, the women living throughout the Greenwoods River Valley, the ones whose wombs were ripe for conception, would bear healthy children for the next two years. Feeling rather pleased with herself, the Great Mother Goddess looked favorably upon the union of Kel and Joren and she basked in the glow of her triumph.

Not surprisingly, the weather over Northern Tortall that summer was clear and bright.

* * *

**A/N: Fluff, fluffier fluff and more fluff! ^_^ Yay!! My versions of Kel and Joren are married now and I hope you liked the way I accomplished such an act of defiance against the vast numbers of wonderful Kel/Dom stories which populate this fandom. I'm really going to miss this story when it's done. :-( All that's left is my epilogue, but it'll be another long chapter because I keep adding stuff to it and changing things around. ;D Again, I appreciate all of you who are continuing to read my story. Please review. Thanks! :D**


	71. Epilogue: Transitions

**The Only Volunteer**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS and everything in Tortall. I just like to play around in her world. Everything you recognize is hers and everything you do not recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I'm writing this note on Labor Day 2009, which the 'unofficial' end of summer here in the U.S., as well as my personal deadline for finishing this story. I am overwhelmed when I stop to ****think about all the words I've written between November 2008 and now, with this massive final chapter. The 'genesis' of this tale occurred when I was finishing up my first long K/J story, 'Redemption.' In that AU version of the PotS series, Joren wondered what his life with Kel would have been like if he had loved her from the start. I started to wonder about that, too, and then I began to write. ****The time frame of this chapter stretches from the summer of 462 H.E. through the winter of 477 H.E. Marriage is a time of transition - hence the title of this chapter - and since I just celebrated my 15th wedding anniversary, I decided to write about the transitions my version of Kel and Joren had to make in the first 15 years of their fictional marriage. And now I present to you the epilogue. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

_Late into the evening, Joren held Kel in his arms and thought about the long, long journey he began in the Chamber of the Ordeal. He thought about the person he had been before, and the person he had become since then. He contemplated what might have happened if he had loved Kel from the start. Would she still have been required to fight so hard to earn her shield? Would he have been able to convince his father to arrange a betrothal for him and Kel? Would Kel have accepted him then? He knew the answers to those questions were probably negative._

_-- Ally-Marty, 'Redemption'_

* * *

**Epilogue: Transitions**

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

_Yes, I was the only volunteer_

_To show you the palace ways;_

_And you were the only volunteer_

_To help me write letters and essays._

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Hazy light tickled Joren's closed eyes and he reached for Kel's warm and willing body. It was end of the first week of their honeymoon and he already had become accustomed to her constant presence in the same bed with him. Although there was an elderly couple who lived nearby and worked as servants at the Trebond hunting lodge, the newlywed couple was alone most of the day, which made their canoodling much more spontaneous than when they'd been at Fort Mastiff. However, for the first time since they'd arrived at the Lioness' childhood home, Kel wasn't there in the bed when Joren woke up.

Throwing off the bedcovers, the young lord wondered where his new wife could be. The sound of rain pattering on the roof meant that today's expedition probably wouldn't happen as planned. It was just as well, Joren thought; he hadn't really wanted to go hunting today anyway. Deciding to get out of bed and search for Kel, he groggily padded down the short hallway to the small, but well-stocked kitchen.

When he found his lady knight, she was sitting at the table with a quill in one hand and a half-eaten apple in the other hand. She was surrounded by a large pile of documents spread across the table in front of her and it appeared that she'd been writing more notes on a separate piece of parchment. Most of Joren's grumpiness melted away as soon as Kel noticed him leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen and she gave him a dazzling smile.

"Good morning, my love," she said cheerfully. "Although, it's probably closer to noon by now. I tried to wake you earlier, but you kept on snoring. I think the sound of the rain must have a very soothing effect on you and, well, you really aren't a morning person, are you?"

"Humph! I do _not _snore." Joren sniffed, mildly offended by her accusation, although the corner of his mouth twitched with good humor. "And I wouldn't have thought _you'd_ be up so early, especially after the week we've had. Mithros, Kel! I didn't think it was possible, but you've completely worn me out!"

Kel tilted her head to gaze at him with her green-hazel eyes, put down her quill and wedged the cork back into her ink bottle. Then she stood up and walked around her chair to stand in front of her new husband. Because the weather had been so warm and because bedclothes for the newlyweds were rather pointless, Kel was wearing only the Yamani-style, red silk kimono robe that Joren had given to her as a wedding present. Sliding her hands over his bare chest, she leaned into him and said, "Oh, not _completely_ - I hope." Then she untied the sash and let the robe fall to the floor before her lips locked onto his in a smoldering kiss.

Joren's brain might still have been a bit groggy, but his body responded to Kel's overtures right away. Groaning, but not protesting, the tired young lord allowed his amazingly energetic bride to lead him back to the bedroom where they had a bit more honeymoon fun. Later, as they lay in each other arms and listened to the sound of the steady rain, Joren thought to ask Kel about the pile of documents she'd been studying at the table.

"I didn't think you were being serious when you said you had work that you had to do while we were out here," Joren commented as he smoothed down Kel's tousled hair and kissed her forehead. "What kind of reports have you been reviewing? It looks like a fairly large task."

Snuggling closer to him, Kel yawned and said, "You probably wouldn't be interested in what I'm doing - it's mostly about training the young female pages. Alanna and I are working with Sir Padraig haMinch to put together a book so that future generations of training masters will have a handy reference to help guide their actions with regard to the realm's future lady knights."

"Why wouldn't I be interested in that?" Joren managed to sound somewhat indignant. "_You_ were a young female page and I was quite interested in your training at the time. If I remember correctly, I even volunteered to sponsor you. In fact, I was the _only_ volunteer."

Kel sat up and gaped down at Joren, who was looking smug and self-righteous. Suddenly, she felt very annoyed at her former nemesis, so she yanked the pillow from under his head and hit Joren in the face with it. Then she plopped back down on her side of the bed and hugged the pillow tightly against her bare chest.

"If _I_ remember correctly - and I do," Kel lay there and fumed, "Neal also volunteered to be my sponsor. Unfortunately for me, Lord Wyldon thought the older page was being insolent - which he was - and he grudgingly allowed _you_ to have the honor of being my sponsor. Little did the training master know that it was just a _ruse_ on your part so that you'd be able to get rid of me faster, or at least, that's what you thought would happen!"

"Unfortunately for you, you say?" Joren said cautiously as he leaned up on one elbow to look into her eyes, "What's this now? After all this time, are you still mad at me, Kel?"

"No ... not really," Kel said, but she was glaring up at him despite her words.

"You're lying," Joren accused her as he narrowed his eyes.

"So what if I am?" Kel asked haughtily and she sat up to look directly into Joren's sky-blue eyes. "You can't go around saying you were the only volunteer anymore, Joren. Besides, _other_ people - Gower, Stefan, Daine, Eda Bell, Lalasa and yes, especially Neal - were the ones who actually showed me the palace ways and all. _You _were too busy stealing food off of my tray and putting extra weights in my lance to show me much of anything. All that doesn't matter now, of course, but I won't allow you to 'rewrite' our history to make yourself look better. It's just ... it's just not right!" Then she rolled out of their bed and stomped back to the kitchen to retrieve her robe and continue her task.

Joren watched Kel's bare backside as she disappeared down the hallway. He truly admired the way her well-toned muscles moved even though he knew that she wouldn't appreciate any such comments from him at that moment. He also was deeply chagrined that their first official disagreement as a married couple was over something he had said about their past. Of course, Joren knew that Kel was right; he _did_ want to make himself look like less of an arse, but his version of their 'love story' wasn't what had really happened.

Cursing under his breath, Joren decided to wash up and get dressed. Even though the heavy rain made it obvious that they weren't going anywhere any time soon, he realized that they were highly unlikely to spend the rest of the day canoodling, either. An awkward silence stretched between them when Joren finally entered the kitchen again and they both contemplated what the other one might say next.

Joren sighed and spoke first, "I'm sorry, Kel. It's just that I ... I don't like to think about what an idiot I was back then. If we could go back in time, I'd--"

"But we can't, Joren," Kel said quietly as she looked up from the topmost document. "No one can change the past, so stop trying to make it sound better than it was - that's all I ask."

"Alright, Kel," Joren nodded. "I ... I'm sorry I made you upset." And though he truly felt remorseful at that moment, it was only the first of many arguments throughout their marriage that occurred whenever he attempted to 'revise' their history to make himself look better.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, too. These reports have brought back so many bad memories of that time," Kel confessed. "Thank the gods that the three girl pages are doing fine with their training, but I shudder to think what could have happened to them if boys like you and your cronies were allowed to harass them in the same ways you harassed me."

Joren walked over to the table and sat down across from Kel. She handed him a few of the scribbled pages of notes and he read them with raised eyebrows. Apparently, the new training master finally had forced all of the older pages to stop bullying the first-year pages. They still were allowed to send the youngest palace trainees on pointless errands and such, but mean-spirited harassment, physical abuse, and brawling were no longer tolerated. In fact, a few of the current third-year pages were going to be punished by having to repeat one full year of training because they defied Sir Padraig's orders not to haze the younger pages.

"Mithros' shield!" Joren exclaimed after he had read the first few pages of notes. "According to these reports, that fiery haMinch really has turned things around. I'll always have the utmost respect for Lord Wyldon, but this ... this is so different from when we were pages." And he thumped the pile of parchments with palm of his hand.

Kel nodded and said, "And yet, the new training master has been asking for Alanna's and my thoughts on how to help the females in particular to succeed. The Lioness told me that two of the girl pages are daughters of Sir Padraig's good friends and he really _wants_ them to do well. I suppose it would be difficult for him to look one of his friends in the eye and inform him that his daughter's reputation was in shreds. Of course, Lord Wyldon and my father were barely acquaintances, so I'm sure he felt no such remorse."

"Perhaps not," Joren smiled ruefully, remembering the many ways Lord Wyldon had tried to help him because of his long-time friendship with his father. "But I think I may understand it better, because, as you well know, Lord Wyldon certainly did everything in his power to help _me_ succeed." Then he changed the subject. "Oh well, I'm starving. How long do you think it will take for you to finish this book of yours?"

Kel shook her head. "I don't know. I'm just making notes now. Later, when Alanna and I have a chance to compile everything, we'll send it all back to Sir Padraig. There are at least thirty documents here - some are letters and others are reports - and I've only made my own comments on, oh, about a third of them so far."

"Want some help?" Joren smiled at her. "I do have a rather unique perspective, wouldn't you say? After all, you could write a whole book just on how to prevent the things that I did or tried to do to you."

Kel raised an eyebrow at him. Joren was right. Who was better than a reformed bully to provide the insights and potential remedies to the kind of chauvinistic and intolerant behavior that Joren had exhibited toward Kel during their years as pages? After scrounging up enough food to put together a decent midday meal, she made room for him on her side of the table and they spent the rest of the day making notes and telling stories, each from his or her own perspective of their days as pages. Little did they know that the product of their honeymoon labor would become one of the palace's most treasured books in the years to come.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Rispah, the Lady of Trebond, wouldn't hear of Tobe accompanying the Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain on their _actual_ honeymoon at the hunting lodge, so he had reluctantly stayed behind at the castle with Baron Coram and the rest of his family. Only Hoshi and the dog, Jump, had gone out to the lodge with their mistress and her new husband, while the horse-hearted lad stayed behind to work with and handle the surly Peachblossom. Two of Coram and Rispah's sons, eleven-year-old Mylec and eight-year-old Daran, kept Tobe busy with adventures around the castle and surrounding forests.

It was a good decision for Tobe to stay at Castle Trebond while the newlyweds enjoyed their honeymoon at the hunting lodge. Joren had informed Coram about the fact that he and Kel and Tobe had all signed the adoption agreement and had sent the official paperwork to Corus the day after their wedding. He didn't anticipate any problems because the Lord Magistrate had promised to handle the matter personally, but Joren hoped that the confirmation of Tobe's adoption would come to Trebond while they were staying there. He also hoped that the common-born Baron of Trebond would help Tobe make the transition to being a member of the nobility a bit easier than either he or Kel could do.

During the month that Kel and Joren stayed at Trebond, Tobe had the opportunity to enjoy playing with noble children his own age and to leave behind his former life as a servant boy. When Tobe discovered that Coram had been the Lioness' first weapons trainer at Trebond, he readily agreed to attend the boys' daily lessons in the practice yard. Kel, of course had trained the boy quite well with a staff and a spear, but it helped that Mylec, who was the same size as Tobe and wanted to be in the Queen's Riders someday, could spar and wrestle with him as an equal.

Sure enough, during the final week of their stay, Joren and Kel received a long letter from Duke Turomot, notifying them that Tobe was now on record in Corus as being 'Tobeis of Stone Mountain.' All that remained was the official adoption ceremony, which would happen when they arrived at Stone Mountain. After the happy couple celebrated the notification privately, they rode back to the castle to share the good news with everyone there.

"To Tobeis of Stone Mountain!" Joren raised his goblet in a toast. "A brother - _my_ brother - at long last!"

"Here! Here!" Kel and all the others replied. Then, after they'd had some sweet cakes and cider to celebrate the good news, they all gathered around the hearth to listen to Coram tell stories about his adventures with the young Page and Squire 'Alan.' Joren asked Tobe to take a walk with him in the gardens while Kel stayed and sat with the children; she was just as enthralled as they were by Coram and Rispah's tales of Alanna's interesting life when she was disguised as a male.

"Tobe, there's other news I must share with you," Joren said as they walked along the gravel path. "Duke Turomot's agents were quite ... persuasive with my father's former steward, Ebroin of Genlith, and he finally told the Lord Magistrate more of what he knew about your mother's family."

"My mother's family?" Tobe repeated.

Joren nodded and gestured for them to sit down on a stone bench before he continued, "Shortly after your mother, young Olga, left Stone Mountain, my father - _our_ father - wanted to find out if she had returned to her family with all the money he'd paid her. As you well know, she did not, but Ebroin's agents did discover where in Scanra your mother originally came from."

"Did they find them?" Tobe asked quietly.

This time Joren shook his head and sighed, "I'm very sorry, Tobe, but they ... they're all gone."

The boy merely stared into the distance; he wasn't surprised. After all, he'd always figured that if his wench of a mother hadn't seen fit to return to Scanra after she knew she was pregnant with him, then there must not have been much to return to anyway. And he already knew that his father - the father he shared with Lord Joren - hadn't cared very much about his mother since he allowed her to wander off and die a pauper's death. Tobe shuddered when he thought about the earliest years of life as an orphan. Then he silently thanked all of the gods that Lady Kel found him and bought his contract and that he now was an official member of this strange, but noble family.

Seeing the boy shudder, Joren patted him on the knee and said, "There _was_ one bit of information that I thought you might find interesting. Sketchy reports seem to indicate that your mother's father was quite talented as a horse thief. Several men claimed that the horses would just come to your grandsire at his bidding and that he never had to hurt anyone to get at his prizes."

"Do you think that's where I got my horse-sense?" Tobe asked, now wide-eyed.

"Yes, I do," Joren said solemnly. "Unfortunately for your grandsire and his family, he started working for one of the Scanran warlords who sent him across the border into Tortall to steal better-fed horses. He got killed during a raid and the warlord was so angry that he threatened to sell off the family as slaves if they couldn't pay the rent. That's when your mother came to Stone Mountain to work for her aunt - our Cook whose name is also Olga - so that she could send money back to her widowed mother and the younger children." Joren had to pause and gather his thoughts before he said what came next.

Tobe sensed Joren's uneasiness and asked, "Did the warlord ... did he sell them anyway?"

"What I'm about to tell you, Tobe, is hard. Do _not _speak of this to Lady Kel - at least, not until we all get back to Stone Mountain and I've had a chance to tell her myself. Do you understand?" Joren insisted firmly and waited until Tobe nodded and grasped forearms with him in a display of solemn agreement. "Your mother's family ... they lived along the Smiskir Road, near the Pakkai River in Scanra. Do you remember where that is?"

"I'm not sure," Tobe shook his head. "I never knew the names of the places we went."

Joren forced himself to keep his voice steady, "You and Kel and the others had to navigate the Pakkai and travel along that road when you ... when you went up against Blayce to rescue the children."

The color drained from Tobe's face and he whispered, "_Blayce. _He got my ma's family, didn't he? That awful man got her family an' he ... he used them in his evil machines. Is that what happened?"

"We'll never know for sure, but if so, they probably were some of Blayce's ... first victims," Joren's voice sounded hoarse with emotion. "I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you all this, Tobe. When we return to Stone Mountain, I'll tell Cook - she's your Great Aunt Olga. She never knew what happened to her sister's family and she always wondered about them. It might seem strange for us to keep this a secret from Kel, but it's only for a little while longer. She's so happy; I can't bear to upset her right now."

Tobe nodded his agreement. He'd never seen his lady as happy as she'd been since the wedding and he didn't think it would be right to cause her any sorrow at this time. She still felt guilty about all of the lives she couldn't save and Tobe didn't want to add to her anguish. Like Joren, he knew that Kel would somehow feel responsible for the demise of his mother's family because she couldn't find and kill Blayce and Stenmun sooner.

"Joren, do you think I could write a letter t' my great aunt?" Tobe asked quietly. "I ... I'm sad about my ma an' her family an' all, but I want t' tell my aunt that I know about her an' I'm lookin' forward t' meetin' her."

"That would be a very nice thing to do, Tobe," Joren agreed. "I'll help you write it, if you'd like."

"Yes, please," Tobe quickly accepted the offer, "Lady Kel's been teachin' me how t' read an' write, but I'm not really good at it yet."

A smile pulled at the corner of Joren's mouth and he asked, "Does my lovely wife use a bunch of cards with letters and numbers written out for you to put them into their proper order?"

Tobe looked at Joren in surprise. "Yes, she does! And she makes me put the words together over an' over again. It's not hard to do, but sometimes it's so boring that I cheat - just a little." He looked down, embarrassed to admit his shortcomings.

"Don't worry, brother," Joren said with a grin and patted the boy on his shoulder, "I won't tell. After all, I remember cheating with those same kinds of cards, too." Then he made Tobe smile with tales of his own academic troubles and the ways Kel helped him when they were pages and squires. The half-brothers were laughing when they returned to the hearth and sat down next to Kel to listen to more of Coram's stories.

* * *

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

_Now you're the only volunteer to be my lady;_

_I've forsaken all others to have you._

_I'm the only volunteer to love you in every way; _

_I promise forever to be true._

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

On the last full day of their stay at Trebond, Rispah sent Kel and Joren out for a long walk in the forest. She had supplied them with a full basket of fresh fruit and meat pasties and warned them not to return until suppertime. The worldly-wise woman knew that the young couple wouldn't have very much privacy when they departed from Trebond so she encouraged them to enjoy the bright summer day as much as they could. Before they started down the shaded pathway into the woods, Rispah gave Kel a meaningful stare and the younger woman nodded her head in understanding.

Although Kel was wearing a lightweight summer dress against the sticky heat, she was very glad that she also had worn her sturdy boots, because the path out to the spot for their picnic was fairly rugged in several places. When they finally reached the perfectly secluded clearing Rispah had described to them, they pulled off their boots and dangled their bare feet in a nearby stream to cool off. Then the young couple shared a leisurely lunch, ending with Joren slicing an apple and taunting Kel with each piece before he let her claim it with her teeth.

After they finished eating, they sat on a bed of soft, spongy moss and listened to the sounds of the forest. Kel's mind was anything but peaceful as she tried to think of a way to bring up the topic she and the Lady of Trebond had so recently discussed. Finally, after a long moment of contented silence between them, Kel asked Joren a question that she knew better than to ask.

"So ... why _me_, Joren?" She queried, without looking in his direction.

"Why you ... what?" Joren replied, slightly confused as he wriggled his toes in the cool moss.

Gazing up at the green canopy of leaves overhead, she sighed and asked a more detailed question, "Why did you want _me_ so much? You could have had any lady of the court and, according to the gossips, you _did_ sample more than a few of them. But ... but you chose me, anyway and I'd really like to know why."

Now Joren looked at Kel as though she had sprouted a second head. "You ... you're joking, right?" he said. "After nearly a solid month of being alone with me - most of it spent in bed, I might add - don't you know why?"

She glanced back at him and softly pleaded, "Just_ tell _me, Joren ... I want to hear you say it."

Joren shifted over so that there was no space between them and he put his arm around her shoulders. Then he whispered in her ear, "I _love_ you, Keladry of Minde-- um, Stone Mountain - that's why."

Kel closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest. "Everything is about to change, you know," she said. "We're going to go back the Fort Mastiff and then to Corus and there will be all those people - our friends, our enemies, and others we don't even know. They've all got their own ideas about who we are, but very few of them will understand why or how we ended up together. I mean, even we didn't know that we'd be so ... um, compatible." She felt her face grow warm at the thought of just how compatible they were.

"Speak for yourself, my love," Joren replied with a playful squeeze for emphasis. "Perhaps_ you _didn't know, but I certainly did. Believe me; the promise of great passion was there in every stolen kiss."

Kel snuggled in closer, "Make no mistake, Joren, I truly enjoyed all of our stolen kisses through the years, but we both know that you've been with, well, a lot of beautiful women and I'm not like them. I ... I'm too tall and I wear breeches most of the time and my hair is too short and my bosom is too small. When we start attending all the balls and parties at the palace, I think I'm going to feel out of place. I guess I just wanted to know why you decided you had to have me and not any of them."

"Mithros, Kel!" Joren exclaimed and he held her away from him so that he could look into her eyes. "Do you hear yourself? I can't believe you're spouting such nonsense! In fact, you once told me that the ladies of the court were afraid to be seen next to me because of _my_ looks. Who cares what any of _them_ think about you or me or us, anyway? _I_ like your height and your hair just fine. And as for your bosom ... well, you don't hear me complaining, do you? I'm quite pleased with you just the way you are and I don't _care_ if you're wearing a fancy gown or men's breeches or a bed sheet. Actually, I'm rather partial to the bed sheet." And he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Kel blushed and looked away. "Yes, but you didn't _know_ about all that before we were married."

Joren placed his fingers under Kel's chin and gently turned her head to face him again. "If I didn't know you better, I'd say that you were fishing for compliments. I'm not sure why you have all this uncertainty now, but I'm _very_ certain that you're the right woman for me. You can ride and hunt and fight like a man, but you're soft and warm and tender-hearted, too. We can practice sparring and fencing and when we bruise each other out on the practice yard, we can take that special balm of yours and rub away all the pain. We can even spend half the night cleaning our armor and then enjoy the other half of the night in each other's arms. There's no one else like you, Kel - not the Lioness, not Lord Raoul's Buri and certainly not any ladies of the court! So, then, what's all this fuss _really_ about?"

Birdsong filled the air as the silence stretched out between the couple. Kel's hazel eyes gazed into Joren's blue eyes and she softly said three significant words: "no moon cycle." It took the blond lord a moment for his brain to process what she meant. When it finally did, his eyes flew open even wider and the color drained from his face.

"No moo-- Mithros, Kel! H-how many days?" Joren's voice sounded slightly frantic. "I ... I wasn't keeping track. I forgot about--"

"Eight days, so far," Kel gently interrupted. "My last cycle finished a few days before our wedding. I just spoke to Rispah about it this morning and she said that maybe it's something, but maybe it's not. She told me that a woman's body can go through changes when she ... when she starts being with a man as much I've been with you. All I know is that I wasn't allowed to wear my charm on our wedding night and even though I've worn one ever since, we both know what the Goddess told Alanna."

"So ... you think the ... the one night was all it took?" Joren asked hesitantly. "How will we know for sure? Should we find a ... a midwife to examine you?"

Kel shook her head slowly and then replied, "It's only been a month. Rispah says that even the best healers and midwives have to wait a while longer to know for sure whether or not a ... a babe has taken root. She even told me that Alanna battled two angry giants and killed a nest of spidrens before she discovered that she'd been almost four months pregnant with her first child at the time."

Joren raised his eyebrows, "Giants and spidrens? And she did all that while she was _pregnant_?" Joren wondered how Baron George must have felt when he found out about that.

"I plan to get Alanna's advice when we return to Fort Mastiff," Kel said, her eyes suddenly bright with hope. "You know what? Since I don't even _feel_ pregnant yet, perhaps I can follow my normal routine - just like the townswomen of New Hope - until we get to Corus. I certainly don't want Neal or any of the other healers who know me to examine me. I'm sure I'll be fine."

Then the lady knight told her new husband about the way the pregnant common-born women worked at their assigned chores right up until the days that Neal delivered their babies. Although she knew it was the way of the nobility to have their women lie abed prior to childbirth, Kel figured that she was as strong as or stronger than the town's washerwomen, weavers and shepherdesses. She also felt that she should be able to perform most of her duties as a knight until it became obvious to everyone that she was pregnant. At least, that's what she told Joren to reassure him.

"I suppose you know what you're doing," Joren sighed. "And as long as you don't go off _searching _for giants and spidrens to fight, I won't argue too much. Besides, I know it's pointless to try to change your mind once it's made up. So, tell me, what was all that nonsense about wanting to why I chose to be with you? Was it really because you're carrying our child now?"

Kel nodded slowly and said, "I've been around lots of pregnant women, Joren, including my own sisters, and they haven't always been very pleasant company. I just thought that if you could tell me _now_ why you originally chose to love me, then perhaps neither of us will forget about those reasons _later_ when my belly's big and I'm not behaving kindly toward you."

Shaking his head in amazement, Joren laughed aloud and pulled Kel over and down on top of him. Then he threaded his hands through her hair and softly kissed her lips many times before he said, "Remember, I've exchanged words with two of your sisters - Adalia at Nond and Patricine in Yaman - when they were pregnant, so I think I might understand what you're saying about not behaving kindly toward me. Even so, love, I'll know exactly why your belly's getting big and I'll _never_ forget why I chose you. Never, ever, ever." And he punctuated each 'ever' with a kiss. It was a long time before they made their way back to the castle.

When the couple finally returned to wash up for suppertime, Kel gave Rispah a reassuring nod and the older women smiled in satisfaction. That evening, the Baron of Trebond held a farewell feast for the Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain - and for the Lord's new brother. Afterward, Kel and Joren enjoyed their last night in the guest suite and tried not to think too hard about all the possible changes looming in their future. Then they settled down and had a good night's sleep in preparation for their departure from Trebond the following day.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The new Lady and Lord of Stone Mountain spent the next month traveling. They spent the first half of June visiting their friends in New Hope. There were, of course, many sidelong glances at them and plenty of joking about the activities they must have enjoyed during their honeymoon. The newlyweds blushed a lot, but they endured the ribald remarks with good humor.

Everyone congratulated Tobe on his adoption as Lord Joren's brother. There were a few whispered comments about the strange circumstances, but most of the townsfolk truly loved the boy and they wished him all the happiness he could find. Many people figured that they owed Lady Kel's former servant boy a great debt of gratitude because he had so bravely ridden through the night after the fall of Haven to inform his lady of the attack.

Much to Merric's relief, the orphaned children who had been living in the headquarters building when Kel was the commander finally moved in to the nice new building that was part of the rebuilt temple of the Goddess. Joren's generous funding had provided a much larger sanctuary for the religious services, as well as a two-story dwelling suitable for housing the youngest victims of the war. There were classrooms and offices on the first floor and living quarters on the second floor. Most of the rooms were still empty, awaiting supplies to arrive from Corus.

"We've had news from the Archpriestess in Corus," stated Priestess Osa, when Kel and Joren came to tour the new facility. "She is sending us a staff of six Daughters - two healers, two teachers and two priestesses who've been trained to work with traumatized children. We currently have only twelve children living here, but with your generous funding, Lord Joren, we will be able to give shelter to so many orphans from all over the northern regions. Thank you very much!"

Kel beamed at Joren. Even though the construction of the orphanage wasn't specifically a gift from him, she felt as though it was. It felt very good to know that Loesia, Gydo, Meech and the others would have a safe place to grow and learn and heal. Some of them might even get adopted into good homes, too. Later that night when they went to bed, Kel thanked her surprisingly charitable husband in a way that he'd never forget. Joren decided then to investigate the possibility of building and supporting more orphanages for the Daughters of the Goddess - not just because Kel rewarded him so well for his first effort at New Hope, but because the thought of helping other lost children, like Tobe, made him feel good, too.

They spent the rest of the month at Mindelan, where the whole family celebrated Kel's twentieth birthday, as well as the midsummer holiday. Joren's new in-laws were quite impressed when Kel proudly told them about all the things that Joren had done for the townsfolk of New Hope. Baron Piers enjoyed discussing international politics with his newest son-in-law and they made plans for another trip to the Yamani Islands sometime in the far future. While the newlyweds took long walks along the River Domin, Tobe spent time playing with Kel's nieces and nephews, who were thrilled when they found out that he was now their aunt's brother-in-law.

By the time the newlyweds returned to Fort Mastiff to receive further guidance and new assignment orders for Kel, they were well-rested, well-fed, and well-bedded. No one who saw them could doubt the love and affection the Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain had for each other - not even when they fenced or sparred against one another. In fact, watching the two of them in the practice yard together became an interesting and sometimes embarrassing form of entertainment for the other knights and soldiers, especially if Kel and Joren ended a match with a smoldering kiss.

* * *

_By the looks of things, Alanna was overmatched. Her opponent was almost six feet tall, broad-shouldered, with muscled legs revealed by cotton breeches. Sweat-soaked brown hair, cut short at the nape of the neck and across the forehead, framed a face tanned in the sun, and brown-hazel eyes, a dreamer's eyes, with ridiculously long lashes. Those eyes were steady as they watched the Lioness's sword._

_"Go, Kel!" someone yelled from the sidelines. "Youth and skill!"_

_"Age and treachery!" bellowed a large man on the far side of the ring_

_...Kel bore in on her smaller foe fast, but Alanna came up and under Kel's attack, smacking the bigger woman hard in the ribs. "You've been using that pig-sticker of yours so much, you've forgotten how to wield your Griffin," Alanna taunted. "You've gotten lazy!"_

_...Kel lunged in again, her sword blade tangling with the Lioness's, until the two women were locked together, hilt to hilt. Now Kel brought her superior height and weight to bear, forcing the Lioness down and back. "Lazy, is it?" Keladry said, panting. "I'll give you laziness, shorty."_

_Alanna laughed and sprang free of the tangle, darting around to swat Keladry on the behind with the flat of her blade. "Age and treachery!" she taunted Kel._

_Kel stood back and, gasping, saluted Alanna with her weapon. "I guess I need to work on my sword skill after all, Lioness," she said, accepting someone's water bottle. She nodded toward the gate. "I think we have company."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Trickster's Choice_

* * *

The 'someone' who had handed Kel the water bottle was her husband of more than two months, Lord Joren of Stone Mountain. The newlyweds had stayed at Fort Mastiff long enough for the lady knights to finish their work on Padraig haMinch's book. Kel planned to deliver it to the palace when they stopped in Corus on their way to Stone Mountain. Meanwhile, Joren carefully watched his wife whenever she went up against any opponent other than him, especially someone like the Lioness, who gave her such a great challenge.

Alanna had boasted that she would be victorious because the Protector of the Small must have lost most of her conditioning while _lounging around_ the practice yard with her new husband. Of course, even the Lioness didn't know that, in between all the riding and hunting and canoodling on their honeymoon and afterward, Kel and Joren truly enjoyed their daily training sessions with swords and staffs. The young lord had discovered the hard way that if his new wife didn't get in at least one bell's worth of exercise time per day, she could become quite cranky and unreasonable. So, Kel really wasn't in bad shape at all.

After the match's abrupt end, everyone was happy to hear the news that the basilisk, Tkaa, announced to them: the Scanrans had sent a delegation of diplomats to Corus to work out a peace agreement and it appeared that the war might be over soon. Now, as Alanna excused herself to be alone in her tent, soldiers and knights dispersed throughout the fort to spread the good news. Joren and Kel stayed behind at the practice yard, especially since he was still rubbing her tight shoulder and neck muscles. He also encouraged her to drink even more water against the late summer sun's merciless heat.

"Are you alright?" Joren asked. "It seemed as though you were a tiny bit more winded than when we practiced nearly those same moves yesterday morning. You're favoring your left arm, too."

Kel nodded as she gulped down another flask full of water. "I don't know why; I actually got a full night's rest - for once - since _you_ fell asleep early. Maybe it's just the heat. Maybe ... just maybe it's because Alanna's a stronger opponent than you are." And she quickly moved out of his reach before he could swat her backside.

Joren scowled at her and mimicked in a high-pitched voice, "Maybe it's because Alanna's a stronger opponent than you are. Very funny, Kel."

"You know she's right, my lord," Neal said as he came up behind Joren, causing him to jump in surprise. "It's nearly impossible to beat my former knight-mistress. I can't tell you how depressing it was for me to endure four whole years of losing to her no matter _what_ I did."

"Oh, quit complaining, Neal!" Kel smiled at her old friend, "Try jousting against Lord Raoul for four years and enjoying the thrill of flying through the air every day. _Then_ you can complain."

"Ha! Ha! Very funny, Kel," Neal replied, copying Joren's sarcasm. The healer/knight was at Fort Mastiff because he had accompanied Merric when the Commander of New Hope had come to give his monthly report to Lady Alanna. "Never mind that. I just came over to take a look at your left shoulder. It seemed that you were favoring it just a bit in that last match and when I noticed that your ever-so-helpful husband was rubbing out the tightness, I figured that I was right. So let me just--"

"No, Neal!" Both Kel and Joren said together too loudly and too quickly. It was too late. Using his Gift, Neal quickly examined Kel and he saw much more than he needed to see. First, his eyes flew wide open in surprise, and then he scowled at the pair of newlywed knights and leaned in close enough to whisper through his clenched teeth. "Are both of you out of your minds? I suppose congratulations are in order, but tell me, how long have you known about this?"

Kel sat down on a nearby bench and closed her eyes as Joren slid down next to her. Then, looking up rather sheepishly, she shrugged her shoulders and admitted to her old best friend, "Well, we've been planning to see a midwife when we get to Corus, but for now, I figured I didn't really have to make any changes to my routine. I feel good, Neal. Honestly, I do."

Neal's mouth dropped open and he turned to look at Joren, "Let me guess, she convinced you to go along with this delusional plan of hers by telling you that she felt fine?"

Joren looked convincingly confused as he glanced from Neal to Kel and back to Neal, "Kel's told me about all the healthy babies you've delivered at New Hope and how hard their mothers worked up until the moment of birth, so I just thought--"

"_Those _women are tough! _Their _lives are difficult!" Neal sounded upset, but he kept his voice low so that no passersby would hear him. "They work because they _have _to - they don't have much of a choice in the matter. But Kel isn't like one of those common-born refugee women; she's--"

"She's _what_?" Kel interrupted angrily. "Not tough? Has my life not been difficult? Honestly, Neal, what kind of woman do you think I am? Just because I'm a noblewoman and I'm married to a lord now doesn't mean that I've gone soft like some pampered lady of the court. _You_ of all people ought to know me better than that!"

Joren raised his eyebrows, but he wisely kept his mouth shut. He had resigned himself to waiting for Kel to decide when it was time to for her to slow down. He knew that it was highly unlikely that she'd do anything to knowingly cause harm to herself or to the child she now carried inside of her. Besides, Joren thought, if Queenscove wanted to argue with the Protector of the Small, he was more than welcome to have at it. The young lord preferred to have peace in his bed at night.

In the end, an indignant Neal escorted Kel and Joren to Alanna's tent for a scolding, but the Lioness only directed her scowl at Neal and calmly announced, "I could tell that Kel was pregnant when she rode through the gates last week. Oh, don't look so surprised, Neal! The plans of the Goddess usually happen exactly the way she wants them to happen. I expect that a new member of the Stone Mountain clan will arrive in early February."

"Why, then did you proceed with your match against her?" Neal asked indignantly, throwing up his arms for emphasis.

Now Alanna narrowed her famous purple eyes at her former squire and replied, "Kel's no shrinking violet of a woman! Besides, I'm no fool, Neal - I only hit her in safe places - like her ribs and her rump. Or didn't you notice that, Sir Midwife?"

"Humph!" Neal scoffed. "I still don't think it's very wise for Kel to exert herself like that in the practice yard."

"Then it's a good thing she knows to listen to _me_ for advice about womanly things, and not to _you_!" Alanna was more annoyed than ever now, but she turned to Kel and said, "I think you can withstand another month or so of regular training, except for jousting. No tilting unless it's against the quintain. And always do your stretches. Trust me - you do _not_ want to get too far out of fighting condition, because it'll be that much harder to recover after the babe comes. Once your belly starts to show, you probably should slow down and take it easy. Your armor and sword belt won't fit around you by then, anyway."

Then Alanna pushed Neal aside and she made a big show of congratulating Kel and Joren. She also made a list of instructions for the bemused couple to follow as the pregnancy progressed and gave them the names of a few trusted midwives in Corus. Neal still didn't look happy when the newlyweds left Alanna's tent, but they certainly didn't want to hear whatever argument was going to happen next between the two healer/knights. When they got back to their rooms, they laughed so hard that Tobe wondered if being married might have caused them to go a little insane.

Two days later, the young couple departed from Fort Mastiff. Everyone was sad to see them go, but Kel promised to write often. Neither Alanna nor Neal had spoken another word about Kel's condition, so no one else knew about her pregnancy - or so they thought. Tobe knew because the horses, of course, had already told him. Both Peachblossom and Hoshi were very pleased that their mistress and her mate were going to have their own little colt. Nevertheless, the wise boy decided to keep that news to himself as he traveled with Kel and Joren to his new home.

* * *

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

_I'll not ask you to forsake your knighthood,_

_Nor demand sons upon our wedding bed._

_I only ask that we stay together always;_

_And that someday you'll command our men instead._

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Marbleton House was ready for the travelers when they reached Corus. Joren's old manservant, Spencer, who had stayed at the town house after Baron Lars escorted Lady Virryn from Fort Mastiff back to Stone Mountain, was very pleased to see them and helped them settle in quickly. The young lord did everything he could to help his new wife and adopted brother to feel at home in the spacious house to which they now belonged.

Tobe, who'd never been to a city larger than Queensgrace, was overwhelmed by all the sights and sounds of the capital of Tortall. Kel and Joren constantly reminded him not to gape at all the grand buildings and the bustling people along the crowded streets. They didn't want him to become an easy target for street beggars and thieves. When they all went to the palace for a private audience with the king and queen, Kel thought the boy would faint from nervousness.

"What if I forget t' bow th' proper way?" Tobe asked worriedly. "What if I mess up an' speak like a servant boy?"

"You'll be just fine, Tobe," Kel soothed. "King Jonathan can be very kind and Queen Thayet is the most beautiful woman you'll ever meet."

Tobe shook his head and said, "Oh, no, Lady Kel, _you're_ the prettiest woman I'll ever meet. No offense to the queen, 'cause I'm sure she's nice an' all, but I won't ever know her th' way I know you. You're beautiful on th' inside _and_ th' outside." Then he blushed and looked down at the hem of his new velvet tunic. They had visited with Lalasa and Tian earlier, and the seamstress had made new clothes for the boy, including his current blue and white outfit which was a smaller version of what Joren was wearing.

"That's right, Tobe," Joren chuckled and said, "You tell her! _I_, of course, tell her that she'd beautiful all the time, but maybe she'll believe _you_."

The visit with the monarchs went very well. Joren introduced Tobe as his newly-adopted brother and the boy only stammered a little bit when he saw that Queen Thayet was indeed a very beautiful woman. King Jonathan smiled slyly when he remarked to Kel that married life seemed to agree with her quite well and it was only then that she realized that, with his very powerful Gift, he must have discovered her little secret. She was grateful that the king didn't make any further comments about that; instead, he only encouraged her to consider accepting the command at the Stone Mountain when her life settled down a bit.

Before they left Corus, Kel sat down with Sir Padraig haMinch and went over all the notes she and Alanna had made for him and his book. The training master was very pleased and told the lady knight not hesitate to call on him if she ever had a need to do so. Thanking him for his kindness and his willingness to help the female pages succeed, Kel only requested to speak with the girls from time to time and see for herself how they were doing.

Alanna's magic still made some of the conservatives anxious, but since the Protector of the Small had no Gift, everyone knew that _she_ couldn't put a spell on the females to ensure that they would pass their exams. Sir Padraig suggested that the perfect time for Kel to speak with the girls would be when he brought all of the pages out to Stone Mountain for part of their summer camp training. Kel readily agreed to that plan and it didn't occur to her until much later that by then, she would be a new mother.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

When Joren first ushered Kel to their private wing of the castle at Stone Mountain, she was overwhelmed by all of the luxuries he had installed. Their large suite of connecting bedrooms boasted the only Yamani-style, two-person, sunken tub in the realm. Kel also adored the personal armory Joren had created for her and she immediately recognized many weapons she had only dreamed of owning, including the Carthaki blade she had admired in the marketplace at Pearlmouth when she was a squire. The small room also served as a place for Kel to do her morning exercises and Joren often joined her there so that she could teach him how to handle the glaive he had purchased for his own use.

Tobe's new room was in Kel and Joren's wing of the castle, too, but it was on the far side of the armory and away from their bedchambers. The month at Trebond had done wonders for Tobe's ability to be separated from his former lady's side for long stretches of time. After their travels together were over, the boy even admitted that he'd rather not be a witness to the happy couple's nighttime activities ever again.

The official adoption ceremony took place as soon as everyone had settled in at Stone Mountain and they all enjoyed a great feast to celebrate the occasion. Any awkwardness over the Tobe's presence soon melted away as his charming personality won over the entire household. Both Sir Langdon and Olga the Cook were surprised at how much the blue-eyed blond boy resembled the deceased Lord Burchard. Even Tobe gasped when he finally saw the youthful portrait of his father and he felt that he was looking into a mirror instead of at a painting. As Joren had stated, no one who knew Burchard of Stone Mountain could deny that the boy formerly known as Tobeis Boon was his son.

Within a month of the couple's arrival, Lady Virryn and Sir Langdon threw a tremendous reception for the new Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain, and the festivities doubled as a late birthday celebration for Joren. The autumn leaves lent their colorful splendor to the mountain vistas and Kel felt that she'd never seen a prettier place in her entire life. Since the war was winding down, many of Joren's conservative friends had returned to their home fiefs and were able to attend the grand event, but they all seemed to be on their best behavior. No one wanted to offend the young lord by criticizing his choice of a bride, especially since he now wielded considerable power on the king's Council of Nobles.

When Sir Langdon made a toast to announce the newlyweds, everyone was impressed with the grand appearance of the happy couple. Kel looked every bit the lady of the castle as she wore a russet red velvet surcoat over a deep blue kirtle, with an intricate headdress in braided cloth of both colors. The red crystal jewelry Joren and Lady Virryn had given her long before matched her outfit perfectly. The handsome lord wore a deep blue velvet tunic over a red silk shirt and deep blue hose. Lalasa had made his clothing to match Kel's ensemble and they truly looked magnificent together.

After all the guests had departed, the inhabitants of Stone Mountain were able to settle into a more normal routine. Joren spent many hours pouring over financial reports with his uncle and trying to catch up on all the paperwork he'd missed while he was away. Lady Virryn coached Kel in all manner of household duties and the lady knight was pleased to discover that they were similar to the tasks she'd mastered when she ran the refugee camps. In the afternoons, after they finished exercising their horses, the happy couple started a tradition of enjoying a relaxing bath together before suppertime.

Due to their own busy schedules, Kel and Joren hired a tutor to attend to Tobe's lessons. Although the newly noble lad declared that he had no desire to become a knight, his former mistress did not want him frittering away all of his time communing with the horses in the stable. Perhaps, Kel thought, the horse-hearted boy would like to join the King's Own or the Queen's Riders someday. So, in the interest of keeping certain of his skills sharp, she still allowed Tobe to help her with her weapons and equipment and she wouldn't hear of him trying to do the tasks to which the servants tended. It was difficult, but the boy eventually became comfortable with his new life.

Joren's interactions with both his newly-adopted brother and his baby half-sister truly impressed and amazed Kel. She remembered his earlier uneasiness around her nieces and nephews at Mindelan, even though they clearly had adored him. One afternoon, as the lady knight watched her husband cuddling little Ari on his lap, she realized why the prospect of early fatherhood no longer bothered him - he had learned not to be afraid of younglings.

"You really like holding her like that, don't you?" Kel asked quietly as she approached Joren. Baby Ari's eyes had just closed even though she still was sucking on her fingers.

Joren smiled up at Kel and whispered, "I don't think that my mother ever allowed Anniseth to hold me when I was this young. Perhaps she was too young herself and she just didn't understand why her father had started a new family so soon after her mother had died. Our father caused so much anger and hurt! This family's ties may be hopelessly tangled, but I'll not have another half-sister hating me all her life."

"Clearly, _this_ sister loves you very much already," Kel commented and she kissed the baby's soft cheek before planting a lingering kiss on Joren's smiling lips.

When the first light snowfall dusted Stone Mountain, the newlyweds realized that they'd waited too late to travel to Corus for the Midwinter holiday season. They weren't upset at all, but quickly sent a letter of regret to the king and queen and hoped that their absence wouldn't be the topic of any malicious gossip. Besides, everyone knew that the mountain passes would soon be snowed in. Many nobles from the mountainous regions of Tortall skipped the palace festivities anyway, unless they had sons who were going through their Ordeals of Knighthood or daughters to present at court.

Soon enough, it was time for Kel and Joren to announce that they were expecting a baby of their own. They had begun to notice the changes her body was making and they figured that it was only a matter of time before other folk did, too. Her breeches were much too snug and she only did her morning exercises anymore; there were no matches in the practice yard with Joren or anyone else. Even though Lalasa had made some roomier clothes for Kel to wear, the lady knight usually wore her more comfortable gowns most of the time now.

One evening, as everyone finished their dessert, Joren rose from his chair, cleared his throat and said, "My lady and I have an announcement to make. We are pleased to inform you all that Lady Keladry is now carrying the heir to Stone Mountain."

Applause erupted around the table and one of the servants came around to pour wine and cider for a proper toast. After everyone settled down, Tobe asked, "Is that why we're not going to Corus for Midwinter?"

Kel turned to look at him and replied, "Well, that's part of the reason. Why do you ask?"

"I was thinkin' that we wouldn't want to get stuck down in Corus because of the snow an' all," Tobe said nonchalantly. "Besides, February really isn't that far away and shouldn't heirs be born in their own home?"

Everyone at the table stared at the boy, but Joren spoke first, "Tobe, why do you think the babe will be born in February? Have you been eavesdropping on us?"

"No, sir, I haven't," Tobe quickly replied, his face turning a bright pink, "The ... the horses told me that the babe would be comin' at the coldest time of the year, so I suppose I've known about February since before we left Fort Mastiff."

"Why didn't you say anything before now?" Kel wanted to know.

"Why didn't _you_?" Tobe shrugged. "Everybody already knows about the babe anyway. Great Aunt Olga has been fixin' all _your_ favorite foods for a while now. Lady Virryn has been savin' all th' clothes that Ari has outgrown in a little wooden chest with th' family crest carved into it. Even Ari's wet nurse is preparin' t' stay here at th' castle for another year or more. I didn't say anything because I figured you'd let us know when you were ready t' talk about it. And ... so you have!"

Now Kel and Joren glanced around the table. Lady Virryn was staring down at her lap, while Sir Langdon barely hid his smile. It was obvious that the boy was telling the truth. No one had seemed surprised to hear the young lord's announcement. Finally, Joren sat back down and glared at his mother and uncle.

"You two obviously have known about our secret for a while," Joren sounded as grumpy as a child who didn't what he wanted for Midwinter. "I don't suppose that Peachblossom whispered it into _your_ ears, uncle, so tell me, how did you and Mother find out?"

Langdon only shook his head; he couldn't speak because he was holding in his laughter.

Virryn came to her husband's rescue and explained to her son, "Well, you're not the first couple to get married on Beltane, you know. Back at Dunmoor, February is the busiest month for the village midwives. It's always been that way. Your Uncle Lars sometimes has to send away to the neighboring fiefs for assistance. Beyond that, it's simple mathematics, darling. Most babies conceived at Beltane are born in the month of February; therefore, _your_ child should arrive in February."

Joren scowled at Kel and groused, "Blasted academics! See, Kel? Our secret was ruined by _mathematics_!"

Virryn's voice became more soothing and she added, "And it's no secret that our lady knight, who used to spar with you every day and who wore gowns only to supper, has been resting in the afternoons and wearing gowns all day long for the past week or so. I suppose the breeches are fitting a bit snug these days, my dear?"

Kel's face turned red and she nodded. Then she looked over at Joren who was still somewhat indignant that everyone already knew about the baby. Tobe looked vindicated and Virryn and Langdon were grinning with glee. Kel couldn't hold it in any longer - a laugh escaped her throat and soon Joren threw up his hands in defeat and began laughing, too.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

By the time their homebound Midwinter celebrations were over, Kel's belly was very round and Joren spent a lot of time with his ear pressed against her bare skin so that he could listen to the little gurgling sounds from within. Occasionally, he'd feel the baby's strong kick and whenever that happened, he always jumped back in surprise. Despite her pregnant body's unwieldiness, the lady knight diligently followed her mentor, Lady Alanna's advice. The couple shared many laughs together as Joren attempted to help Kel with her stretching exercises, mainly because they realized how ridiculous they looked.

On a snowy February morning, after Kel had endured several overnight hours of excruciating labor pains, the heir to Stone Mountain arrived. Joren named him Gunnar after his great-grandfather. Everyone at the castle and all the tenants were ecstatic and celebrated long into the night when they heard the news that Lord Joren and Lady Keladry were the proud parents of a much-desired baby boy. Announcements went out to all corners of the realm, but none of the people who received the notifications were as happy as the residents of the town of New Hope.

As soon as the wonderful news reached Kel's former command, there was another equally large celebration. The birth of the healthy child who was conceived on _their_ soil was a great omen of prosperity for the years to come. And sure enough, Merric later wrote to tell Kel that there was such a plentiful harvest during the summer months, farm workers from other places came to New Hope to assist with bringing it all in. The Daughters of the Goddess were very pleased and they led the entire community in a three-day festival of praise and thanksgiving to the Great Mother for blessing them so richly.

One of the instructions that Alanna had written down for Kel and Joren was more of a suggestion than anything else. The Lioness, wise woman and mother that she was, had strongly recommended that the Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain consider having another child as soon as possible after the first one. She reminded them that it would be a few more years before the first set of female pages would become squires and be ready for training with knight-masters. If Kel went ahead and gave birth to her second child within a year of the having the first one, then she'd be able to get back into good shape to take on a squire by the time both of their children were weaned.

Following, Alanna's advice then, when the midwife declared that her body had healed enough to return to Joren's bed, Kel didn't wear her special charm. The happy couple's one-year wedding anniversary on Beltane was an exceedingly good holiday for them and Kel's belly grew very round again even before the first snows fell. Sending their regrets - as well as Sir Langdon and Lady Virryn to represent them at court - the Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain missed the Midwinter festivities at the palace for the second year in a row. Two days after their son's first birthday celebration, Kel gave birth to their second child, a girl they named Anika.

The next time the midwife declared it safe for Kel to be with Joren again, the very satisfied father of two healthy children presented his loving wife with a box of shiny and new pregnancy charms, which she diligently wore for the next five years.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Once Kel had regained her pre-pregnancy strength and agility, she began to work side-by-side with Sir Langdon to learn how to command the knights and soldiers who were assigned to the garrison at Stone Mountain. All of the men had been given more than two years to decide if they wanted to stay at their present location or if they wanted to move on when Kel took command of them. Most had decided to stay, so Kel inherited a well-trained and highly motivated fighting unit.

Usually, the lady knight would take Tobe out with her to serve as her 'squire' when she went away on missions with her soldiers, but most of the time they were able to stay at home with Joren and the children. Sir Langdon still helped out by training new soldiers, but he enjoyed his semi-retirement with Lady Virryn and Ari very much. Family meals became somewhat livelier than when Joren was a young boy, especially as the youngest members of the Stone Mountain clan grew old enough to join the adults at the dinner table.

At the end of her first full year of command at Stone Mountain, Kel finally was able to take on a female squire. Janelle of Blacklake, who with her sister Fianola had once seen Kel joust against Lord Wyldon, was beyond ecstatic that her heroine had chosen her to be the lady knight's first squire. The dark-haired, olive-skinned girl was as serious and intense as Kel had been at her age and her deep brown eyes never missed anything. The two female warriors made a very good team, except for one thing.

During the three years that Kel was pregnant and then getting back in good fighting condition and then beginning her command of the garrison, Tobe had acted as her squire in everyway. Even though he had no desire to become a knight, he truly enjoyed serving as a sort-of squire for Kel and occasionally for Joren, too. Once Squire Janelle arrived at Stone Mountain, the relationships became a bit strained and Kel had flashbacks to her not-so-friendly competitions with Lerant of Eldorne during her time as Raoul's squire. Relief came in the form of a very interesting and timely offer from Lord Wyldon of Cavall.

The former training master invited Tobe to learn how to train destriers, or warhorses like Peachblossom, at the famous Cavall stables. Wyldon had resigned from field command after the war with Scanra was truly over and he returned to his home fief to find the kennels and stables in somewhat of a disarray. Ever since his youngest daughter, Margarry had married Sir Owen of Jesslaw and moved away from home, Lady Vivenne had had a difficult time keeping up with all the tasks associated with breeding and training the fine dogs and horses for which their fief was renowned. Tobe gladly accepted the offer to go to Cavall, especially because he still had to wait a few more years until he could join either the Own or the Riders.

Lady Virryn and Sir Langdon's daughter, Aurelia, who had become Tobe's little 'shadow' as soon as she could toddle along beside him, was extremely sad when her favorite uncle left Stone Mountain. Even though he kept his promises and returned to Stone Mountain during the holidays - and her birthday, of course - it was never enough for little Ari. Gunnar and Anika were alright as far as nursery playmates, but Uncle Tobe was much more fun than 'the babies' in her not-so-humble opinion.

The 'babies' didn't really care what their slightly older aunt thought of them, because they behaved more like twins than children who were born exactly one year apart. Anika, with her light blond hair and blue-green hazel eyes grew very quickly and she soon was the same size as her older brother, Gunnar, who had his father's sky-blue eyes and his mother's mouse-brown hair. Anika definitely had her mother's stubbornness and she always tried to keep up with Gunnar, no matter what.

Both children absolutely adored Squire Janelle and their mother had to chase them off on more than a few occasions. Whenever that happened, they would find their father and complain to him, but he was rarely sympathetic toward them because they really were too young to follow Kel and Janelle to the practice yard every day, no matter how much they promised not to get in the way of the intense training.

One of the benefits of Kel having a squire to train was that Joren was able to make some of his own dreams come true. Life at the garrison could be fairly tame, especially since Tortall was at peace with all of its neighbors. By entering tournaments in both Tortall and Maren, Joren and Kel were able to travel together and compete against some of the finest fighters throughout the Eastern Lands. They won lots of gold coin as their fame spread. Since they didn't really _need_ the prize money, all of it went into supporting the three orphanages they'd built in addition to the first one at New Hope.

The four years Kel spent training her squire passed very quickly. Due to the peaceful conditions across the Eastern Lands, the lady knight searched for opportunities to help develop all of the girl's fighting skills. They dealt with border raids and the occasional bandits, but the tournaments provided most of the training. During their travels, Kel and Joren discovered that Squire Janelle was a superb archer, and the young lady warrior won quite a few purses of prize money for herself.

The entire Stone Mountain family relocated to Marbleton House for the Midwinter festivities as well as for Lady Janelle's Ordeal. Of course, Kel had returned to Corus every year to deliver her squire back to the palace and Master Oakbridge. Joren had always accompanied her because he despised sleeping alone unless it was absolutely necessary. This was the children's first trip to the capital city and they were bitterly disappointed that they were not invited to attend the banquets at the palace. Lady Virryn placated them with promises to bring back sweets for them if they behaved while the adults went out every night.

Tobe surprised them all with a visit. The now-seventeen-year-old young man had accompanied Lord Wyldon and Lady Vivenne to Corus not only for the holiday season, but also to interview for a position with the Queen's Riders as well. Onua Chamtong, the horse-mistress for the Riders, finally wanted to train someone to take her place so that she could retire. Lord Wyldon had proposed that Tobeis of Stone Mountain was the right person with the right skills for finding and training ponies that would suit the Riders. Tobe's friend, Mylec of Trebond, who had joined the Riders two years earlier, also had encouraged him to seek the position. Ari, of course, declared that Tobe had come to Corus just to celebrate her seventh birthday.

By the time Squire Janelle passed her Ordeal of Knighthood and became Lady Knight Janelle of Blacklake, Kel was ready for a well-deserved break. She truly had enjoyed her time as a knight-mistress and Joren usually found a way to accompany her on her missions, but knew she wanted to be at home with her husband _and_ the children for a while. Gunnar was almost six and Anika was almost five years old. As the weary lady knight thought about the activities she wanted to do with her little future warriors, she also began to contemplate whether or not it was time for her and Joren to create a few new warriors as well.

The evening of the final banquet of the season, Kel wore a black velvet gown trimmed with sky-blue satin around its hems and cuffs. Joren's outfit was very similar - a black velvet tunic over a sky-blue satin shirt and hose. Lalasa had embroidered a miniature Stone Mountain crest on the bodice of Kel's gown, right above her heart, where most active knights wore their badges of knighthood. It was a very clever way to incorporate the official emblem of her status as a knight, and yet it allowed her to appear every bit as the lady of her noble house.

Joren smiled slyly when he noticed that Kel also wore the silver Marenite jewelry he had given to her the night she had invited him to stay in her room at the palace. Whenever his clever wife donned the delicate silver necklace and earbobs, it was like a secret signal between them which meant that she was inviting him to have an exciting evening in their bed. Usually the jewelry ended up being the only items that remained on Kel's body throughout the rest of the night.

Even though Lady Virryn and Sir Langdon decided to stay for the former ball, Joren escorted Kel back to Marbleton House as soon as the banquet ended. Once he verified that all of the children were sound asleep in their own room, the lord of the house then invited his lady to join him in their private sitting room, where they relaxed in front of a roaring fire in the hearth. It didn't surprise Joren that Kel had locked the door behind them.

"I'm very proud of everything you've done these past four years, Kel," Joren whispered into her ear as he massaged her stiff shoulder muscles. "Lady Janelle is a fine knight and she's truly a credit to your training. I almost feel sorry for our enemies. Are you sure you don't want to take on another squire this summer?"

The fire in the hearth had warmed the room and Kel felt very cozy. She had made up her mind long before they'd left the palace, so she untied the laces of her gown and shrugged out of the heavy velvet ensemble. Allowing the fabric to pool on the floor around her feet, Kel quickly shed the rest of her garments until the only items she wore were the pieces of silver jewelry.

Turning to face Joren, Kel then unclasped the chain that held her pregnancy charm and held it out to him. "You've kept your vows, my love, and I appreciate the fact that you've never demanded sons from me. I think it's time, though, for us to have another child and I'm ready to stay home for a while. It's just that ... well, I have _no_ desire to be pregnant at Midwinter again."

"What? I don't understand. Does this mean you want--" Joren began to ask, but Kel shut him up with a long kiss that answered the unfinished question completely.

"Mmm hmm - and _now_." Kel insisted while she kissed him and tugged his tunic up and over his head. "With the Goddess' blessing, this child should arrive in October."

The idea that Kel was ready and willing to work on adding to their family immediately, filled Joren with excitement and joy like he'd never felt before. The very happy couple enjoyed the secure, well-heated room and they never noticed when Lady Virryn and Sir Langdon returned to the townhouse. Nine months later, the Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain welcomed their third child, another daughter, into the world.

Three more daughters followed, one each year until Gunnar left Stone Mountain and entered the palace to begin his training as a page. When Anika announced that she wanted to follow her brother and become a page rather than go to the convent school like Aurelia, Kel decided that she also was ready to get back in shape. So the mother and daughter trained together to prepare the girl for her first page year. Once her two oldest children were well-adjusted pages at the palace, Kel decided to take on another squire.

* * *

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

_I'll gladly be the only volunteer_

_To show you the Goddess' ways;_

_Since you've always been the only volunteer_

_To believe in me for all of my days._

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

In the year 475 H.E., a large armed force marched across the Drell River from Tusaine and attacked Tortallan shepherds and farmers, and threatened the inhabitants of one of the orphanages sponsored by the Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain. Although the resulting war lasted less than a year, Joren and Kel and her new squire spent most of the time encamped in the Drell River Valley with the rest of the King's fighting force. Crown Prince Roald was the overall commander and the married knights enjoyed working with their old friend. Kel commanded a medium-sized contingent of Stone Mountain soldiers who defended the area nearest to the orphanage, and Joren served as the chief logisticians on Roald's staff of high-ranking officers.

As always, Joren left Sir Langdon in charge of Stone Mountain while he and Kel were away. Lady Virryn did not like the fact that _both_ her son and her daughter-in-law were off fighting during the war. She didn't mind being in charge of the four little girls, especially since her fourteen-year-old daughter, Aurelia, was taking a year off from the convent school to comfort and support her. She just couldn't help worrying that Kel and Joren's children might not see one or both of their parents ever again.

It was with great joy and relief that the entire fief of Stone Mountain turned out to welcome their Lord and Lady home from the war. Kel hugged her little girls tightly to her chest when she dismounted her horse inside the castle courtyard. Then Joren encircled the whole mass of femaleness within his arms. No one mentioned the tears glistening in the eyes of every adult present.

The only reason the family left the mountains was that Kel had to escort her squire back to the palace for the young woman's Ordeal of Knighthood at the end of 476 H.E. Once again, they all took up residence at Marbleton House and stayed in Corus until the snow began to melt. This visit was special not only because of the new knights, but because the family was able to witness the ordination of their dear friend, Loesia from New Hope. Loesia had taken vows to become a Daughter of the Goddess and she exchanged her white initiate robes for blue priestess robes shortly after Midwinter. Even Tobe, who had become the horse-master for the Queen's Riders, joined them at the ceremony and they all had a wonderful little reunion before returning to Stone Mountain.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

One month before their fifteenth wedding anniversary, the Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain took their four younger daughters on a cross-country trip to the very prosperous town of New Hope. So much had changed in the Greenwoods River Valley that Joren and Kel barely recognized the well-established, fortified town. The newly-planted fields were lush and green and all the varieties of livestock and fowl were thriving. Some things hadn't changed, though - Fanche Weir was still the headwoman, even though Saefas Poughman had finally convinced her to marry him ten years earlier.

"Great Mother Goddess!" exclaimed Fanche. "Just look at yer beautiful brood, Lady Kel! And how are Tobe an' th' two oldest ones farin' these days?"

Kel introduced the girls: six-year-old Erika, five-year-old Torelle, four-year-old Olga, and three-year-old Kirsten. All of the girls had Joren's light blond hair - a unknown 'gift' from the Trickster god - but only Erika had the Stone-Mountain sky-blue eyes; the others all had hazel eyes like their mother. Joren told Fanche that Sir Merric of Hollyrose hoped to take on their son, Gunnar, as his squire once he passed his big exams. Their oldest daughter, Anika, hoped to do very well on her page exams, too. The proud lord also talked about Tobe and his position with the Queen's Riders.

Fanche could only shake her head and reiterate that the Goddess had blessed the whole lot of them beyond their wildest dreams. She explained that people kept pouring in from all directions to find work in the town and that they stayed and built homes and started families there all the time. New Hope had become a sort of beacon of hope for the entire region and the original inhabitants took great pride in the progress their town had made over the years.

Kel and Joren and their little girls all dressed up in fancy, festive gowns for New Hope's Beltane festivities - and their fifteenth wedding anniversary celebration. The happy couple explained to the girls about such things as the gathering of morning dew and the Maypole dance. They were relieved that the girls didn't ask any questions about the very young, newly-wed farm couple who led the big procession to the white tent in the middle of the wheat field. They all enjoyed the feast and the dancing and the entertainment without further comment.

Later, during a much smaller gathering of old friends at the orphanage, Lord Joren stood up to make a little speech. After thanking Headwoman Fanche for the wonderful hospitality and the Daughters of the Goddess for taking such good care of the orphans, he asked Kel to come and stand next to him. Then he cleared his throat and began to speak.

"As all of you here know, fifteen years ago, Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan made me the happiest man in the world by marrying me," Joren said and then he leaned over to kiss her passionately. Kel blushed, but she returned his kiss and their friends hooted and whistled. Then he waited for the applause to die down and continued speaking.

"My wife, Kel, has absolutely no idea of how beautiful and wonderful she really is. She never has. Truthfully, there wasn't much to look at when I first met her - well, except for her eyes." Once again, he waited for their friends' laughter to subside. "As you can see, she has become a tall, strong and lovely woman. I know she doesn't see herself the way that others see her. In fact, she's _never_ noticed the way that other men steal glances at her when she's not looking their way. I, however, _do_ notice those glances and when I catch them at it, I glare back at them because she is _my wife_." More chuckles followed as he playfully glared at all the men who were sitting around the long table.

"Kel has the most incredible eyes," Joren continued, "When she looks at someone, it often appears that she just woke up from a dream because her eyelashes are so ridiculously long. The irises of her eyes are a warm, green-and-brown hazel and they change color depending on her mood. When she's happy, the brown flecks in her irises seem to sparkle with light. When she's upset, the brown seems flat. And when she's feeling passionate about something or someone, the green flecks seem to heat up and expand, hiding the brown completely. Naturally, I've spent the majority of my life with Kel doing whatever it takes to keep her eyes as green as possible. Happy anniversary, darling!" Joren punctuated his last statement with another long kiss.

Finally, Joren pulled out a decrepit-looking piece of parchment and asked everyone to bear with him for a little while longer. Kel recognized the document immediately and hid her face in her hands. When she glanced up again, Joren was poised to read the poem with which he had proposed to her. Before he could begin, though, she plucked it from his fingers and told everyone what it was. Then, with a slight quiver in her voice, she read her beloved's horrid, but very special poetry, and she made it her own.

_"Yes, I was the only volunteer_

_To help you write letters and essays;_

_And you were the only volunteer _

_To show me the__** old**__ palace ways._

_It's true; I was the only volunteer to be your lady;_

_I, too, forsook all others to have you._

_Now I'm the only volunteer to have loved you in **every** way; _

_We've both kept our promises forever to be true._

_You've never asked me to forsake my knighthood,_

_Nor demanded sons - nor daughters - upon our marriage bed._

_You've only asked that we stay together always;_

_And you've allowed me to command our men instead._

_I'm glad you were the only volunteer_

_To show me the Goddess' ways;_

_Since you've always been the only volunteer_

_To believe in __**me**__ for all of my days."_

Before Kel kissed Joren, she whispered, "Happy anniversary, darling. May the Goddess grant us fifteen times fifteen more years of the same. I love you, too."

Naturally, it was a very good anniversary; the Great Mother Goddess smiled down upon one of her favorite couples and blessed them with - another girl.

* * *

**A/N: And now, I'd like to thank my awesome husband and wonderful son and daughter for supporting me throughout the crafting of this story. I'd also like to take the time (and space) to say, "Thank you for reviewing!" to the following readers: abyssgirl, Ainsaboo, aKindofGlory, And Back Again, andy, Anon, anonymous, Aretina, Ashyia Francis Belladonna, Bananar333,**** beastie92, blackkat09, BLiberalQuestionAuthority, blugrl320, BookWorm 37,Caellach Tiger Eye, Cassie, CC, Chad, chels, chesire, Chewing Gum Girl, Chris Finkle, Christine, Claire, claire of queenscove, confusedknight, confuzzled lil phoenix, crazylittlefox, crumblycookie71615, Darth Tater, Dorothy Parker, dragonPrincessNassuadda, EbonyCat, Elaine-Herd, Elf-a-Roo, elf warrior princess, Emmadarling, Enno Vy, Eskimo680, eternalsunset7, EtherealDeath, EvilFaerie17, Evilstrawberry, Faia Sakura, fallen, Finaldream88, FriedButterfliesanPeanutButter, Gallan Princess, GEL500, gigi, gleamingeyes, Gretta99, Hisshou, Ice and Starlight, ILoveCockatiels, Imperfectionist ;D, Inescapable Nymph, , Jace And Edward Fan, jay, jayley, jo, JollyLass, JorensxGirl3, june, Kailun, Kari of Mindelan, Katzenpfote, kelbelz, Killer Zebra, Korim Nalan, Krae Z. Rokke, KrazyBookLuver, KTParrott, Lady Andy of California, LadyButterfly21, Lady Caitlin of Illinois, Lady Grace of Masbolle, Lady Lena 99, Lady Light, Lady Myriam, L.A.H.H., LarkasBlessing122291, LarkaSpirit, le-plume-beni, lilmo, LittleMissAttica, LittleMissGiggles'94', Lioness-of-Tortall-7, LJane, Lotti's Lot, Lynxgoddess, MAB, maipigen, maybeitsmaybelline, Meeky, Merkaba7734, mlle Lola D., MoonMouze, mousekins, Mrs. Dom Masbolle, Mrs Nicholas Jonas teehee, Myene,myrtha216, Mystic Moon Empress, Nikkitusa, NorikuKitsune, obsessivated, Olive-Whisperer, OlivineWK, O-Silver Goddess-O, Painelust, .choralmusic, Perfect Ten, personlikething, PLAIDunderpants, Princess michief, pyrena93, Qingyun, reader, red rose of love, Renom, rev, RiderFan3944, Rin Hitokiri, RooenEnnyte, SabbyRinaBanina, Sangfly, SailorSapphire, SamAnnette, Sami, Sarah7191, secret-scribbled-notebooks, smurf setsuka, soccachix101, soccerchick-08, SOPROL, SpaceHead3, Sphinx1991, spazzysassyangel, silverphoenix, starfire 54, studentofwords, summre, SurfAngel, The Red Night's Revenge, Tishica, too-much-of-a-book-lover, twilights, twilights reflection, ubiquitous girl, vicky, Victoria Taylor, waterbird13, weirdogirl11, Whisper of the Winds, White-Dragon-Goddess, whoever, Yautja's Blooded Pet, ****xxtunstall chickxx,**** Ybs, zhorla, and Zikki****. **

**You all are fabulous!! Your collective comments, corrections, constructive criticism and input have made it worth my time to write this story and I truly appreciate each and every one of you. That said, special thanks go out to abyssgirl, elf warrior princess, jayley, LJane, spazzysassyangel, and xxTunstall Chickxx for writing _lots _of reviews from the very beginning of this story, but an extra-special thanks of warm cyber cookies and hugs belongs to SarahE7191, who faithfully reviewed _all but two_ chapters - truly amazing! =D **

**Along the way, many of you have asked if I just made up something or where I got certain facts for my story. I've picked up a ton of information just by reading Tamora Pierce's personal website as well as her livejournal blog. Whenever TP gives an interview, she reveals to her readers a lot of additional info about her characters that she didn't include in her books. I strongly encourage anyone who writes TP fan fiction to check out the many wonderful on-line resources available at sites such as wordpress, randombuzz and the Goldenlake forum. **

**Many of you commented on all the bits and pieces of canon and quasi-canon information I've woven into this and other stories. One of the things I truly wish is that TP had written more about the younger royals' formal training; however, since her website lists an "official" timeline of Tortallan history, including the years of birth for all of Jon and Thayet's children, I've referred to it several times to create storylines for Liam, Jasson ,Lianne and Vania. Prince Liam is listed as being born in the same year as Owen of Jesslaw, so I took the liberty of assuming that he, like his older brother, Roald, would enter page training at the appropriate age. From there, I just thought it would be great if Liam got to work with Alanna and Kel at some point in my story and so I fit him in before Kel's wedding.**

**As for Kel and Alanna's relationship, there is a 'dream sequence' in Trickster's Choice where the lady knights are fencing and Kel taunts Alanna by calling her "shorty." I figured that in order for Kel to feel comfortable enough to say such a thing to her heroine, they must have become very close friends after she earned her shield. As a former military officer, I've appreciated the way that a few women who were senior to me took the time to be my mentors along the way. Whenever they weren't in my direct chain of command, we were on a first-name basis.**

**Incidentally, my husband has the most incredible greenish-brown hazel eyes. It's possible for me to determine his mood from the amount of green showing in his irises. Sound familiar? Yes, I have a lot of inspiration at home. ;D Also, I know lots of engaged/betrothed couples (myself and hubby included) who've nearly lost their minds, as well as their self-control, right before their weddings. Of course, many couples do give in to the temptations, but my man and I couldn't even kiss on the lips for fear of not being able to stop. I will say, though, that all the pent-up tension can lead to a fantastic wedding night! So, I wrote a bit of that into this story, too. ;D **

**Again, ****I've had such a fun time with my version of Kel and Joren and I almost hate for it to come to end, but now it's time for me to return to my other, long-neglected projects 'Tricks Aplenty' and 'I Win!', as well as 'To Ride. To Live. To Love.' and 'Uncommon Attraction.' I want to complete my work on them, too. Despite the messed up categories on ffn now, I hope you'll take the time to read my other stories, too.**

**As my kids transition into a new school year and I make the adjustments to my schedule to accommodate their activities, I'm certain that I will have time to write new stories, too. I am open to working on new stories, so please let me know if there are any 'plot bunnies' you might wish to see me adopt and develop. Once again, I appreciate all of you who took the time to read this ridiculously long adventure and I'm grateful for all of the reviews. I hope you've had as much fun reading my story as I've had writing it. :D Please let me know what you think about this final chapter, as well as what you think about the tale as a whole. Thanks!**

**Keep reading,**

**Ally-Marty :D**


End file.
